All New Lock Jokes

pi...@lock.umd.edu

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Sep 8, 1997, 3:00:00 AM9/8/97

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I know you all have been dying to hear some new math jokes, so here goes...

Did you hear about the animal with a padlock for a tail?
It was a mon-key.

Why did the lock cross the road?
To find the combination.

A lock, a key, and a doorknob walk into a bar. The doorknob orders a beer.
The bartender gives him a beer. The key then orders some whiskey, after which
he proceeds to drink the whole thing down. Then the bartender asks the lock
what he would like to drink. The lock responded with "I'd rather have
something to eat... like a key!"

OK that's all I've collected over the last few months. Let me know what you
think.

--The Locksmith Joker

golddigr

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Sep 9, 1997, 3:00:00 AM9/9/97

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Well It's the best that I have hear for lock
jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lou Hinshaw

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Sep 10, 1997, 3:00:00 AM9/10/97

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pi...@lock.umd.edu wrote:

>
>I know you all have been dying to hear some new math jokes, so here goes...
>
>
>Did you hear about the animal with a padlock for a tail?
>It was a mon-key.
>
>Why did the lock cross the road?
>To find the combination.
>
>A lock, a key, and a doorknob walk into a bar. The doorknob orders a beer.
>The bartender gives him a beer. The key then orders some whiskey, after which
>he proceeds to drink the whole thing down. Then the bartender asks the lock
>what he would like to drink. The lock responded with "I'd rather have
>something to eat... like a key!"
>
>OK that's all I've collected over the last few months. Let me know what you
>think.
>
>--The Locksmith Joker

Then there was the Bohemian artist who gave his girl a key to his, like, pad?
They split up? He had to get new pad locks?

2 cents, please.

Lou Hinshaw

Prolific inventor,
Lousy Salesman,
Incompetent businessman.
(Typical of the Breed)
Tulsa OK, USA

Joe Kesselman, yclept Keshlam

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Sep 10, 1997, 3:00:00 AM9/10/97

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We've gotta be able to do better than this...

The following is my own favorite -- but I warn you now, it's a "Turtle
Riddle" (those who were elected to the ancient and honorable order
of Turtles will know what I mean), and as such a few readers may find
it offensive. Hence I'm putting it a page or two down; if sexual innuendo
bothers you, this would be a good time to hit the next-post button.

Still with me? This one's from the mid-18th century. The readers here
will probably get it immediately, but it hopelessly confuses most folks:

"A strange thing hangs under a man's clothing. It is long and firm, pierced
in front, and has a good fixed place. When a man lifts his garment, it is
because he wishes to visit with the head of this dangling instrument the
familar hole which it (when of equal length) has often filled before."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph J. Kesselman http://pages.prodigy.com/keshlam/
"This note is a production of Novalabs Consulting, which is solely
responsible for its content. Opinions not necessarily those of IBM."

astc...@erols.com

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Sep 11, 1997, 3:00:00 AM9/11/97

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Sounds like a key to me!

Judy