Re: It All Is Available To You
Stormin Mormon
The lineage is now revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when
someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," but now you can handle this
situation with confidence!
Jack is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O. Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep N.Schitt,
Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull
Schitt and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dump Schitt, a high
school drop-out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Scherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then
known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken
Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood
and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The
wedding announcement in the newspapers announced the Schitt-Happens
wedding. They created a bumper sticker and made millions. You've probably
seen it...
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the
prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy
with his new bride Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct
them and inform them of your more than deep knowledge of the family tree.