A MiSTing with a Furry Segment... Opinions?
Sylvan SilverNight
I just thought I'd post a short bit of fan-based MiSTing that had a
brief bit of Furry towards the beginning. The original email spam was
annoying, so I decided to annihlate it. (The original is the Quoted
part you'll see as you read). It's not entirely on-topic, but at least
part of it is. I keep the rest of my work, if you want to see it, on my
web site at:
http://www.visi.com/~phantos/index.html#mst3k
Anyhow, take a look-see and let me know what you think! :)
Yours,
David J Rust
(aka Sylvan, Knight & BoomerRoo)
==============start here===================
(Opening Credits - Mike/Pearl/Bots)
(.....1.....)
(.....2.....)
(.....3.....)
(.....4.....)
(.....5.....)
(.....6.....)
(Scene: SOL Interior. CROW is wearing his bear costume and carrying a
little flag that says "ConFurence 10". TOM is walking behind him
wearing a little backpack.)
TOM: I dunno, Crow, I only have a couple hundred.
CROW: Well, I checked Mike's credit card, but I -uh- already maxed it
out last month.
TOM: I suppose we'll need a roommate then...
CROW: Oh, two at least!
TOM: (sighs) Well, Sylvan's going but he's already got roommates. Who
else do we know?
(MIKE walks in reading a copy of the comic book "Furlough".)
MIKE: Hey, guys.
TOM/CROW: Hey, Mike. (they do a double-take) MIKE!
CROW: Mike!
TOM: Mike! Mike!
CROW: Mike; have we got a proposition for you!
TOM: It's really great!
MIKE: (warily) If this has anything to do with that seed catalog, I
don't want to buy a Krinoid.
TOM: Nothing of the sort!
CROW: Will you go with us to ConFurence and split a room?
MIKE: (a bit surprised) ConFurence? I had no idea you guys were into
Furry stuff...
TOM: Oh yeah. Ever since seeing "Hobgoblins".
CROW: We were sold!
MIKE: (slowly) But, guys... You hated "Hobgoblins".
TOM: Thoroughly!
CROW: (nodding) With ever fiber of my being!
MIKE: Well, then... Why would that have gotten you interested in Furries?
TOM: (sighing) Gee Mike, don't be so dense... (turning to CROW) Why
was it again?
CROW: (sighing) Y'see Nelson, everyone knows that most of the Furries
in the United States live in California...
MIKE: Yes...?
CROW: And, since they expend significant revenue on books, art and movies...
MIKE: I think I see where this is going...
TOM: (to MIKE) Well, don't spoil it for me! (to CROW) Go on, Crow...
CROW: ...we can get involved on the ground level and make sure that
horrible, crappy films with furry critters in them never get made again!
TOM: Yes!
CROW: Our power will be absolute! No more "Gargoyles!"
TOM: Er, "Hobgoblins", Crow.
CROW: Whatever...
MIKE: Well, guys, it's a good plan, but I don't think going to
ConFurence is going to really get you anywhere with that... Besides,
aside from watching Bugs Bunny and reading Ovid's "Metamorphoses" I
don't think I really qualify as a Furry...
TOM: (petulantly) I knew we couldn't count on you, Mike...
CROW: Yeah, where pop-culture is concerned, I guess you'll never be
anything more than a Trekkie...
MIKE: Well, I'm sorry but... Hey!
TOM: Yep, go put on your Spock ears, Mike; Crow and I are off to new
frontiers of faanish interest!
(The two bots start moving off towards off-camera. MIKE grabs hold of
them gently and shakes his head.)
MIKE: Guys, are you aware that ConFurence is on Earth?
CROW: Well, duh, Mike!
TOM: It's in California!
CROW: (whispering to TOM) That's "CaliFURnia", Tom...
TOM: (agreeing in a low voice) Yeah, right... "CaliFURnia"...
MIKE: (nodding) Yeah, CaliFURnia. And *we* are currently where?
CROW: In the Satellite of Love... Sheesh, Nelson, you get hit on the
head this morning?
MIKE: (smiling) And you would have to get permission from *whom* to get
off the Satellite?
(The bots pause.)
TOM: Uh, Pearl?
CROW: Hmmm... Definitely Pearl...
MIKE: (nodding) Exactly...
(The commercial sign lights start flashing.)
MIKE: Tell you what... If Pearl will let you go, I'll accompany you and
spring for the room; Ok? (He shakes his head and hits the lights.)
We'll be right back...
(----------go to commercial----------)
(--------back from commercial--------)
(SOL. CROW has taken off all of his costume except for the head-gear;
MIKE his helping him remove it.)
CROW: Well, I guess I don't really want to go after all, Mike...
TOM: Yeah, it's only a weekend of freedom from having to watch bad movies...
MIKE: (nodding) Besides, did you see the expose that KARE-11 news did
on Furries a few years ago? Sheesh!
CROW: Hey! What are you implying, Nelson?
TOM: Yeah! Furries are just as normal as any Trekker or Rocky-Horrible!
MIKE: (wincing) Ok... Ok...
TOM: Besides, if I feed one some nutella, I might be able to get him to
follow me home!
CROW: They're so cute in all that fur...
(Lights flash.)
MIKE: (sighing) Great, Mother Pearl is calling... (he hits the lights)
(Castle Forrester Interior. PEARL is in the foreground hefting a spiked
mace while, in the background, BOBO is standing in front of a dry-erase
marker board covered with diagrams and charts showing dollar signs and a
pyramid. Three chairs are facing him, with OBSERVER in the center
chair, flanked by two people -a man and a woman- dressed in business
suits with "sensible" haircuts.)
PEARL: (sighing) Well, it's the end of the world as we know it, Nelson;
and I'm feeling a might bit queasy...
(SOL.)
MIKE: (looking concerned) Gee, that's too bad Pearl... What's wrong?
(Castle.)
PEARL: Oh, it's Bobo again. He's gone out and gotten involved in an
Amway cult and brought his Saturday night meetings home. He's already
given me three cassettes to listen to and started taping motivational
messages on the refrigerator. (she hefts the mace) I'm going to kill him.
(SOL.)
TOM/CROW: (gasping) No!
MIKE: Oh, come on Pearl! I mean, it's not all that bad, is it? You'll
get discount soap, paper towels...
(Castle.)
PEARL: (continuing without listening to the guys) That, and he sucked
Brain Guy into all this... Just imagine; the most powerful,
supposedly-ominpotent being in the galaxy getting sucked into an Amway pitch...
(In the background, we see OBSERVER standing up, smiling and taking a
bow as BOBO and the two humans applaud him. He heads up to the
dry-erase board to take the floor.)
(SOL.)
MIKE: (wincing) Gee, that *is* pretty bad... But killing Bobo? Isn't
that a bit ... severe?
(Castle.)
PEARL: I suppose... (she drops the mace and rolls her eyes) Perhaps I
can let this go on a little longer before we reach Defcon 1 and Bobo's
head has to roll... (She looks back over her shoulder as OBSERVER
addresses the group.)
OBSERVER: Just remember, a smile is your umbrella and your neighbors,
your customers... Uh, treat your customer as you would want to be treated...
PEARL: But I'm not gonna wait much longer... (she pauses and then
readdresses MIKE and the bots.) Still, in the meantime, I've got a
little treat for you today... It arrived unceremoniously in my mailbox
and was titled, enticingly enough, "Medical Breakthrough Announced
Worldwide!" I scanned it quickly but thought that -since you don't seem
to get very much email- I'd send it up to you so you wouldn't feel left
out of daily life here on planet Earth...
(SOL.)
MIKE: Uh, gee Pearl... Thanks...
TOM: You didn't have to...
(Castle. In the background, OBSERVER is droning on about networking.)
PEARL: (smiling insincerely) Oh, think nothing of it... What are
enemies for?
(SOL.)
CROW: I'm beginning to think that Pearl deserves an Amway meeting in her
living room.
MIKE: C'mon Crow, no one deserves that...
(Lights start flashing.)
ALL: Aaaaaahhhhh! We have email-sign....!!!!
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> Subject: MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH ANNOUNCED WORLDWIDE!
CROW: *This* is how the Center for Disease Control gets the word out?
Massive email spam?
MIKE: Budget cuts, Crow.
> Date: Sat, 23 Jan 1999 23:10:53 -0500
> From: "Harry" <ex...@newmail.net>
TOM: "When Harry Met the Internet"
CROW: Wouldn't that be "You've Got Mail"?
TOM: (shuddering) Hey! You promised that you'd never mention that
90-minute AOL commercial again!
CROW: (in a loud AOL-like voice) Welcome!
TOM: Mike! Make Crow stop it!
MIKE: Come on, Crow. Knock it off.
CROW: (in same AOL voice) I'm sorry ... Good-bye!
> To: uni...@mailserver.fti.se
>
> This message is being sent to you in compliance with the Federal Legislation
> for Commercial Email (S.1618-SECTION 301).
TOM: You have the right to remain silent...
CROW: ...Contents may have settled during shipping...
MIKE: ...Offer void in Utah.
> For more information go
> http://www.senate.gov/~murkowski/commercialemail/EMailAmendText
TOM: (sputtering) Hey! This link's dead!
MIKE: (leaning over as if looking at TOM's laptop) Did you try
stripping off the "/EMailAmendText" part?
TOM: Yeah... The /commercialemail directory is empty...
CROW: Say! Look at this!
MIKE: (leaning over as if looking at CROW's laptop) Yeah?
CROW: This URL is contained on Alaskan Senator Frank Murkowski's web page!
MIKE: You mean...?!!
CROW/TOM: (shouting) It's a government conspiracy!!!
> ****************************************************************************
> SECTION 301.Advertiser: "see below" Per Section 301,Paragraph(a)(2)(C) of S.
> 1618,further transmissions to you by the sender of this email may be stopped
> at no cost to you see remove insructions at the end of message
CROW: Or you can simply mail-bomb him into submission...
>
>
>
MIKE: Hmmm... Seems he had to pause for dramatic effect.
> A MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH!
ALL: (ducking and wincing at the shout) Ahhhh!
CROW: (panting) Geez, I wish they'd stop *doing* that.
>
> In the treatment of HIV/AIDS & DEGENERATIVE DISEASE was announced:
TOM: Uh, Mike? What was actually announced?
MIKE: Hmmmm... I'm not sure. It looks like something concerning the
treatment of HIV/AIDS and degenerative diseases, but the author left the
subject of the sentence out.
CROW: Well, I'm sure it couldn't have been important then.
>
> on December 1st 1998
TOM: (in an announcer's voice) A day that will live in infamy!
>
>
>
> MILLIONS of dollars of this remarkable product will be sold in the up coming
> months...
MIKE: Tylenol Three?
TOM: RU-486?
CROW: Viagra?
>
>
>
MIKE: This guy really likes his dramatic pauses.
CROW: He gets paid by the line...
> Imagine YOU can play a role in the promotion of this historical medical
> breakthrough
TOM: (vibrating violently in place) *WHAT* historical medical breakthrough?!!
> and position yourself to profit immediately!!
MIKE: Yes, you too can profit from the pain and suffering of others!
Make money while epidemics and plagues sweep the world!
CROW: Geez, Mike... That was dark!
MIKE: Is it any worse than using fear of AIDS to get someone to read an email?
>
>
>
> If you are CURIOUS , you'll want to find out how this all natural product
> can save millions of lives and generate millions of dollars in sales!
TOM: Man, this guy's colder than Ebeneezer Scrooge!
CROW: More sinister than the T-1000!
MIKE: Greedier than Donald Trump!
TOM: Look! Up in the sky! It's bill, it's a sham, it's Cure-All Man!
MIKE/CROW: (in a monotone) Our hero.
> If you
> know of anyone who has
> HIV/AIDS,CANCER,DIABETIES,MS,ARTHRITIS,HEPATITIS,HERPES OR ANY DISEASE
> Developed After Birth! Then you owe it to yourself to get the facts !
CROW: Can a tendency to send email spam be considered a "disease
developed after birth"?
MIKE: We can only hope...
>
> If you are SMART, you'll wanna find out why Dr. james B Hall ,
CROW: ...insists on spelling us spelling his first name with a
lower-case "j".
> the
> recognized US Ambassador Of Goodwill for HIV/AIDS under the Clinton
> Administration PUBLICALLY endorsed this product ,
ALL: (frustrated) What product?!!
> after extensive research,
> on December 1st 1998 IN THE FIGHT AGAINST HIV/AIDS AND OTHER DEGENERATIVE
> DISEASES!
TOM: Y'know, you'd think they'd be eager to spell it out for us! I mean
what are they talking about?
CROW: Who knows? With the aforementioned government conspiracy to hide
this medical discovery of theirs, this email was probably redacted by
the FBI.
TOM: Really? The FBI?
CROW: (nodding) Oh, sure! The Food and Beverage Institute is famous
for it's clam-destine activities... (snickering)
TOM: (apparently not catching on) You mean Chef Tell is involved in
covering up important medical research?!!
MIKE: Well, he *was*; then agent 0-0-7 took him out...
TOM: You mean...?!!
CROW: Yep! Emeril Lagasse snuck up behind him and...
MIKE: ...BAM!
>
> If you are SERIOUS, about improving the health and wealth of your family,
> you'll get the fax on demand right NOW!!
MIKE: You know, it's not a very big leap to imagine this guy typing a
message saying "If you ever want to see your Wife and Daughter again..."
> Find out how you can benefit TODAY!
CROW: TODAY?!!
TOM: TODAY! (singing) We comin' to America... TODAY!
MIKE: (rapping Tom lightly on the head) That's enough Neil Diamond, Tom.
> before the masses catch on.
CROW: Darn, those masses! They ruin everything!
>
> ... This is the opportunity you have been waiting for!
TOM: To escort Famke Janssen to a gala reception at Governor Ventura's mansion?
>
> THIS AMAZING PRODUCT RETAILS FOR $39.50 PER BOTTLE! CALL US WITHIN 24 HOURS
> AND FIND OUT HOW TO BECOME A WHOLESALE BUYER ABSOLUTELY FREE!!
CROW: Act now and we'll send you a complimentary Insulin Injection kit
for only an additional $19.95!
MIKE: Wow, that's some deal!
CROW: But wait, there's more... Tell 'em, Tommy!
TOM: Ahem... (in an announcer's voice) You'll also get the
Penicillin2000; sleek and stylish, this self-contained medical miracle
slices, dices, blends, purees and makes jullianne fries in mere seconds!
MIKE: Wow! How much?
TOM: (still announcer's voice) Don't ask yet, because if you order in
the next ten minutes, we'll include -absolutely free- an autographed
copy of "Hot Zone" by alarmist medical author, Richard Preston!
>
> Massive world wide media exposure on television and in National Publications
> ensures your success! Get the Fax On Demand at 716 420-8387 then call 800
> 669-4197 24 hrs a day! Now!
CROW: Operators are standing by! These medical miracles and their
associated literature can be yours at a wholesale price for only (takes
a deep gasp of air and rattling off the following, rapidly) Nineteen-ninetyfive-ninetynine-ninetyfive!
MIKE: (doing a double-take) $199,599.95?!!
TOM: Plus tax, shipping and handling...
>
>
>
MIKE: (looking as if he's checking his wallet) I dunno... It's awfully steep...
CROW: But think of your wife and children!
MIKE: Well, that's true, I... Hey! I don't have a wife and children!
TOM: (sobbing) Then what are *we* Mr. Nelson? Chopped liver?
MIKE: (sighing) Oh, give it up, Tom...
> "citizens alert!"
CROW: "Citizen's Alert! Citizen's Alert! Stop the Humanoid...!"
>
> 7 OUT OF 10 PEOPLE WHO JOIN AN MLM COMPANY NEVER MAKE ANY MONEY!
MIKE: Hey, now *there's* a refreshing piece of honesty... Thank you, Harry!
TOM: Mike, why would a company actively discourage participants by
telling them they probably won't make any money?
MIKE: I dunno; maybe the Ghost of Advertisements-Future paid Harry a visit...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
CROW: Geez! Another one!
MIKE: He's probably just insecure that no one will read his email unless
he pads it with white-space for emphasis... It's sad, really.
> #1 THEY GOT IN TOO LATE
TOM: ...And they had to go to the principal's office with a tardy slip.
>
>
>
> #2 THEY DID NOT MEET THE SPONSOR REQUIREMENT TO GET PAID!
MIKE: They had a pulse.
>
>
>
CROW: Warning! Warning! Emphasis coming...!
> YOUR TROUBLES ARE OVER FOREVER!!PRESENTING............."CASH OUT ELITE!"
TOM: Guys, when did this email make the transition from medical
breakthrough to a Mystic Lake Casino advertisement?
MIKE: Oh, I think it was about two dramatic pauses ago...
>
>
TOM/CROW: (Singing) An-ti-ci-pation...
>
>
TOM/CROW: (Still Singing) An-ti-ci-pa-a-tion...
>
>
TOM/CROW: (Still Singing) It's makin' us wait...
>
MIKE: (in a deep, Heinz-ketchup commercial voice) It's Sloooow-good!
> YOU ARE ONE OF A SELECT FEW PEOPLE TO RECEIVE THIS INVITATION ,
TOM: Oh, I feel *so* special!
CROW: Yeah! Next time, Harry...
TOM: ...if that *is* your name...
CROW: ...try sending us something useful. Like the URL for the
Spam-Hater's Union!
> AN
> ESTABLISHED COMPANY WILL BE LAUNCHING THIS HOT NEW PROGRAM TO THE MASSES ON
> FEBRUARY 1 1999.
MIKE: We know you'd probably like to know exactly *what* "established
company" is launching this, but we figured it'd be more fun if you guessed...
CROW: Oh! Oh! I know!
MIKE: Yes, Crow?
CROW: How about IBM?
MIKE: Don't they only do computers?
CROW: Hmmm....yeah. Well, how about DOW?
MIKE: I dunno; this email is a bit low-brow for them...
CROW: (dejected) Yeah, I guess so... (brightens up) Wait! I got it!
It's gotta be Beatrice! They run everything...!
TOM: (shuddering) Now *that's* an Illuminati that even *I* won't poke
fun at...
MIKE: (in a soft, calm voice to TOM) We're Beatrice.
TOM: AAAAAHHHHH!
> THERE ARE STILL A LIMITED NUMBER OF FOUNDERS POSITIONS
> AVAILABLE!
CROW: Oooohhh! So we can become Founders!
TOM: They're gonna let us run The Dominion?
> COMMISSIONS BEING PAID DAILY AS OF 1/20/99 NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO
> GET IN ON TOP!
CROW: So hurry! Rush right in without knowing what we sell or do!
TOM: Soon, you too can be dynamic, enthusiastic and frustratingly vague!
MIKE: Y'know guys, this is sounding an awful lot like Amway...
CROW: Come on Mike, Pearl may be evil, but she's not *that* evil!
MIKE: (cautiously) I dunno...
> YOU GET PAID A FOUNDERS BONUS, NOT AVAILABLE TO THE LATE
> COMERS
>
>
>
> NO SPONSORING REQUIRED TO EARN $1,170.00 AS OFTEN AS YOU LIKE!!
TOM: Ah, yes... Harry? I'd like my checks for $1,170.00 to be
delivered hourly please? (pauses) Yes, yes... For the next fifty
years or so. (pauses again) Right, I'll hold.
> YOU GET PAID
> FOR EVERY PERSON IN YOUR GROUP AFTER THE FIRST 3 PEOPLE NO MATTER WHO
> POSITIONS THEM THERE!!
MIKE: Yep! I smell a pyramid scheme!
>
> IF YOU REFER ONLY 3 PEOPLE YOU WILL EARN OVER $2,000.00
CROW: ...Less our agent's fee of 15%, state and federal taxes...
MIKE: Yes, act now and you too can earn enough for a Whopper.
CROW: With cheese?
MIKE: (scowling) What do you think this is? A profit deal?
>
> NO CYCLING, NO BINARY BALANCING ACTS,
TOM: If you'll address your attention to high above the center ring; the
flying Walendas and two IBM Thinkpads will thrill you with their Binary
Balancing Acts!
> NO AM BREAKAWAYS!
CROW: But FM breakaways are just fine.
TOM: What's an AM breakaway?
MIKE: That's when you have a little radio station decide that it want's
to get out and see the world without the FCC's permission.
>
>
>
> A ONE TIME $125 PURCHASE OF THE MOST POWERFUL PRODUCT IN HISTORY, GETS YOU A
> FREE ENTRY INTO OUR REFERRAL PARTNER PROGRAM!!
CROW: Which might mean something if we knew what the product was.
TOM: Y'know, so far they've implied a cure for everything from AIDS/HIV
to toenail warts. You get the impression that they legally can't
actually come out and say anything concrete without getting sued?
CROW: Maybe they're just naturally secretive, Tom.
> NO HYPED UP CONFERENCE CALLS
> TO RAISE YOUR PHONE BILL, NO LOTIONS,POTIONS OR PILLS!
TOM: Great, now he's getting poetic.
CROW: Well, *I* want a potion of Super-Heroism!
TOM: Well, you'll get that back when you return my barbarian's +3 Sword
of Kvetching!
MIKE: Tom, that was a singing sword...
CROW: Not the way you role-played it, oh high-and-mighty DM!
> FAST CASH PAID TO YOU
> DAILY , DOWNLINE BONUSES PAID WEEKLY!
MIKE: Ahhh yes, the mating call of the Ever-Eager Get-Rich-Quicker.
>
> GET THE FAX ON DEMAND AT 716 387-8300 IMAGE #128
TOM: Mike, if I forward this message to Congress, do you think we can
start "mandatory image-blocking software" legislation for FAX machines?
MIKE: (shuddering) Don't give them ideas, Tom.
>
> THEN CALL 1 800 669-4197 24 hrs to GET STARTED! TODAY!
TOM: (singing) TODAY!
MIKE: (chuckling) That's enough Tom...
>
> The "e"ad co-op email your private ad to 100,000 internet subscribers for
> only $295.00 (offer ends 1/28/99)
CROW: But we'll probably have another one ready on 1/29/99!
>
> fax your request to 610 593-2350 We also accept 5 line ads for only $49.95
> per 100,000 All email broadcasting is done in accordance with all state and
> federal laws!!
MIKE: Except in the state of Minnesota where the Governor is liable to
beat us up for this kinda thing.
>
> STOP SMOKING IN 7 DAYS GUARANTEED OR MONEY BACK
MIKE: (laughing) Oh Geez...
CROW: And just in case we missed anyone with our vague claims to cure
everything but the common cold up above, here's something else for you
to chew over!
MIKE: Man, what's next? A baldness cure?
>
> and two best diet products in the world
CROW: Well, you were close, Nelson...
TOM: I dunno Crow, I *have* been thinking about trying to slim down a bit.
MIKE: I think we have a blowtorch and some extruding tools for that in
the workroom, Tom.
TOM: (nervously) Hey, I only said I was *thinking* about it!
> also money back GUARANTEED All
> products 100% natural with 95% success rate.
MIKE: With 90% suffering disfiguring mutations...
TOM: ...85% losing 80% of their hair...
CROW: ...but only 75% lost their will to live...
> Buy Wholesale – Be a
> distributor and earn a 7 Figure Income 1st year.
TOM: Note: All figures will appear to the right of your check's decimal point.
> Call Fax on Demand
> 281-259-4014 Doc. 155 to get free tape and brochure call
>
> 800-883-9078.
MIKE: (looking over as TOM seems to be rocking back in forth in his
chair) Uh, Tom... What are you doing?
TOM: I'm writing this number down, Mike... There's gotta be *something*
concrete we can find out about this offer! And if it's as lucrative as
they make it sound, soon *you'll* be calling *me* "Master"...
>
> /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
> To be removed reply to prf...@newmail.net?subject=remove
CROW: Reply. Subject: Remove. Message: Rot in Spammer's Hell, Harry!
>
> /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
MIKE: (picking up TOM and following CROW as he leaves the theater) I
dunno Tom; we've talked about this whole "Master" thing before...
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(.....2.....)
(.....3.....)
(.....4.....)
(.....5.....)
(.....6.....)
(TOM has a little post-it note stuck to his hand and the speaker phone
is ringing from where it sits on the desk. MIKE and CROW walk up.)
MIKE: Tom, you aren't seriously calling these people, are you?
TOM: Can you think of something better to do? We don't even really know
who they are! This could be something like "The Net" or "Nowhere Man".
(The telephone picks up. A woman's voice answers.)
WOMAN: Momentum Health and Nutrition, may I help you?
CROW: (snickering) Yeah, Thomas Veil, please...
TOM: (in a whisper) Crow, No!
WOMAN: (after a moment) I'm sorry, he's out of the office at this time.
Are you calling about our fabulous, enticing email offer?
MIKE: Well, actually, we're more just sort of curious as to what it's
all about. Can we talk to Harry?
WOMAN: I'm afraid that Harry isn't in the office either, ma'm.
MIKE: Ma'm? (shakes his head) Well, when do you expect him back?
WOMAN: Oh, in a week or two... He's overseas right now, implying Ebola
cures for the colorful peasantry...
MIKE: Ewww...
WOMAN: Can I send you out a fax with application forms for you and your
friends to join our growing opportunity of medical wonders?
TOM: Actually, we were wondering exactly what *are* these wonders that
you keep referring to.
CROW: Yeah, the email was kinda vague...
WOMAN: (sounding irritated) I see. Tell me sir, do you wear glasses?
CROW: (a bit surprised) Uh, no...
WOMAN: Then I suggest you get some immediately and re-read the message!
CROW: What? HEY!
WOMAN: Look, sir. We made it perfectly clear in the email. You can
stop smoking and gain entry as a Founder, earning a very nice, 7-figure
salary! Most people wouldn't question generosity like that...
CROW: (hopping mad) Why you disembodied...
MIKE: (interrupting CROW) Uh, it's not that we're questioning your
generosity, it's just that we still don't really know what it is you
people do. I mean, apart from becoming a Founder and stopping smoking...
WOMAN: (sighs) Do you smoke, ma'm?
MIKE: Uh, no...
WOMAN: Do you want to become a Founder?
MIKE: Not particularly...
WOMAN: Do you want to benefit at all from our astounding discoveries and
make tons of money?
MIKE: Well, maybe... I'd need to know...
WOMAN: (interrupting) Well then, stop calling us! (her voice starts
trailing off) Honestly, what do they want us to do? Expose the
Conspiracy? (she hangs up)
TOM: Mike; on second thought, I don't think I really want to be a part
of this wonderful opportunity...
(lights flash)
MIKE: Good choice, Tom. (he hits the flashing lights) Yes, Pearl?
(Castle. The two, clean-cut Amway cultists are flanking PEARL, laughing
amiably and chatting back and forth. PEARL looks annoyed and nauseous.)
CULTIST1: So you see, Ms. Forrester...
CULTIST2: Call her "Pearl".
CULTIST1: So you see, Pearl... By taking an affirmative approach to
creating strong relationships and friendly communication-lines with your
victims -er- customers, you can begin to office in a while new way,
incidentally standing to gain quite a bit of money in the process...
CULTIST2: Yes, and you'll only have to give us a very small
percentage...! (She holds up a contract and broadens her smile)
CULTIST1: (holding up a pen) Do we have a deal?
(OBSERVER enters and walks up behind PEARL and CULTIST1. He slaps both
on the back.)
OBSERVER: Well, Pearl! This is most exciting! Already, I have found
three members of our castle neighborhood who are absolutely thrilled by
the opportunities this fine group of bipeds have to offer. Now, if you
join in, we can all reap the benefits!
(PEARL looks slowly at OBSERVER and steps back to allow him to stand
next to her. She glowers for a second and then head-butts his brain,
knocking it out of his hands. OBSERVER yells in pain and goes to the
floor after it.)
PEARL: Ok, that's it! No more, Mrs. Nice-Pearl...! (She glowers at the
cultists who -panicking- run away.)
(BOBO approaches, wearing a business suit.)
BOBO: Oh, Lawgiver! You don't have to act out your rage like this...
Here, read this pamphlet! (He holds out a pamphlet entitled
"Reprimanding Your Inner Child")
(PEARL idly knocks the pamphlet out of BOBO's hand and holds up a pair
of tweezers.)
PEARL: Bobo, when was the last time you had a haircut?
BOBO: Uh, Lawgiver... Perhaps we should dialogue on this...
PEARL: (shaking her head with an evil smile) Oh, I don't think so.
(BOBO runs off, followed by PEARL -still brandishing the tweezers. In
the foreground, OBSERVER slowly stands, cradling his brain. In the
background, we can hear BOBO starting to yelp in pain.)
OBSERVER: (moaning) Uhhhh... Network marketing has its risks... (he
looks up into the camera) We shall be in touch soon, Mike...
(In the background, BOBO runs by in the other direction, chased by
PEARL. We hear him start yelping in pain again as soon as they are both
off-camera. OBSERVER collapses forward off-camera.)
OBSERVER: Someone get me ... some Tylenol ... three...
-----x-----
CREDITS:
Mystery Science Theater 3000 was created by Joel Hodgson.
This MiSTing is the mental work and suffering of David J Rust.
Dr. Forrester, Pearl Forrester, Brain Guy, The Observer, Professor Bobo,
TV's Frank, Joel Robinson, Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo, Gypsy,
Cambot, Magic Voice, Deep 13, the Satellite of Love and other specific
contents are copyright (c) 1999 (currently) of Best Brains, Incorporated
and is used without permission as an act of parody. All rights reserved.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks
held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
(Keep Circulating The Tapes)
> 7 OUT OF 10 PEOPLE WHO JOIN AN MLM COMPANY NEVER MAKE ANY MONEY!
Boomer The Dog
|
|
Sylvan SilverNight
> Boomer The Dog wrote:
>
> Hey BoomerRoo!
Hey there Boomer! :)
> You certainly are a prolific writer to get all that mileage out of a
> Spam!..
<chuckle> Well, I'm hardly the only one! MiSTing, in fact, has been
something that I've only been doing for about 2 months. The act of it
has been going on for quite a number of years now! (There are even
numerous homepages that collect MiSTings; the best one is at
http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k called "Web Site Number Nine"). You
should see some of the stuff that's out there! :)
> I had to laugh, because I dearly dislike Spam, and I forward all that
> I get to an address my provider has set up for that purpose, so they can
> track it and block domains, if necessary. Late last year they blocked
> MindSpring for several days, in fact.
Yeah. I've been thinking of doing this myself. I just haven't gotten
around to it yet. :)
> "In article, ..." spreading the original address over
> several more posts. I wonder why news readers are still set up to do
> this in an era of Spambots... but then you wouldn't have been sent the
> fodder for your MST3K filk, urf..
That's for sure. My supply of Psychotronic Bot Fodder would probably
drop off a cliff if I started killfiling or otherwise stopping spam.
Still, I *do* do it when I find stuff that's particularilly offensive or bothersome.
> I've only seen a few MST 3000 screenings, but I liked your Furry take
> on it, especially:
> >> NO AM
> >> BREAKAWAYS!
> >
> >CROW: But FM breakaways are just fine.
> >TOM: What's an AM breakaway?
> >MIKE: That's when you have a little radio station decide that it
> >want's to get out and see the world without the FCC's permission.
> Oh, do tell! For sure.. Is that anything like "Pump up the Volume,"
> the movie with Christian Slater? *wry ;)* As "The Mad Daddy", a former
> Cleveland/New York DJ would say, "AM and FUM, don't be dumb."
<chuckle> Actually, I have no idea what an AM Breakaway is. It just
seemed kinda lame to me, so I used it as joke-fodder. :)
> Thanks for the *hug* at Albany Anthrocon last year..from one Boomer to
> another.. :)
<HUG!> Well, I hope to see you at another con sometime soon then...
I'll be in Minneapolis over the 4th of July weekend I'm afraid, but I
may still show up at CF10 and DucKon...
Yours,
David J Rust
(Sylvan, Knight & BoomerRoo)
MoonSong01
><chuckle> Well, I'm hardly the only one! MiSTing, in fact, has been
>something that I've only been doing for about 2 months. The act of it
>has been going on for quite a number of years now! (There are even
>numerous homepages that collect MiSTings; the best one is at
>http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k called "Web Site Number Nine"). You
>should see some of the stuff that's out there! :)
Oh gods. Don't tell me this, I'll have to go and look at them now. (somewhat
apprehensive smile) I see lots of wasted time ahead ...
Yours was a hoot, though, and you do the crew quite well. Thanks much!
MoonSinger
You can't take the wolf out of me, but you have to take it out of my address to
reach me.
Cerulean
wrote:
>Sylvan SilverNight writes:
>
>><chuckle> Well, I'm hardly the only one! MiSTing, in fact, has been
>>something that I've only been doing for about 2 months. The act of it
>>has been going on for quite a number of years now! (There are even
>>numerous homepages that collect MiSTings; the best one is at
>>http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k called "Web Site Number Nine"). You
>>should see some of the stuff that's out there! :)
>
>Oh gods. Don't tell me this, I'll have to go and look at them now. (somewhat
>apprehensive smile) I see lots of wasted time ahead ...
LOTS of wasted time. Pick just one to read, and there goes your
evening. Great stuff, though. And the worst fanfiction in the world.
If you thought NIMH 2 was bad, read "Rangers of NIMH" and it will all
be put into perspective... The kind of perspective that makes the
Total Perspective Vortex worse than lethal.
--
___vvz /( Cerulean * http://www.cerulean.st/
<__,` Z / ( DC.D/? fs+h++ Gm CB^P a$m++d+++l*g-e!i
`~~~) )Z) ( FDDmp4adwsA+++$C+D+HM+P-RT+++WZSm#
/ (7 ( aueJ) Ja!seJj 'Jp - ,,'a!>oo) e a^eH,,
Sylvan SilverNight
Cerulean wrote:
> >Sylvan SilverNight writes:
> >>(There are even
> >>numerous homepages that collect MiSTings; the best one is at
> >>http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k called "Web Site Number Nine"). You
> >>should see some of the stuff that's out there! :)
> >Oh gods. Don't tell me this, I'll have to go and look at them now. (somewhat
> >apprehensive smile) I see lots of wasted time ahead ...
> LOTS of wasted time. Pick just one to read, and there goes your
> evening. Great stuff, though. And the worst fanfiction in the world.
> If you thought NIMH 2 was bad, read "Rangers of NIMH" and it will all
> be put into perspective...
You should read "The Eye of Argon" or "The Star Unicorns". <shudder>
Trust me, MST3K didn't arrive soon enough! Hmmm... Anyone know of any
REALLY bad Furry FanFic out there for me to MiST? I wouldn't mind
taking a crack at a few...
Deviously yours,
Sylvan
Tim Gadd
>Cerulean wrote:
>> >Sylvan SilverNight writes:
Well I have to give points for strangeness to a script I read last
week, which had the cast of Balto and All Dogs go to Heaven involved
in some frontier-style cooking competition. It wasn't badly done; it
was just... God, I don't know - you get Jenna and Balto and Sasha and
Itchy and Anabelle together, and they _kneed dough?_
--
Tim Gadd
Hobart, Tasmania
Lupercal .com
@wolf-web
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Coffeehouse/1161/
'Some people never go crazy.
What truly horrible lives they must live."
Charles Bukowski
Charlie Luce
>
>You should read "The Eye of Argon" or "The Star Unicorns". <shudder>
>Trust me, MST3K didn't arrive soon enough! Hmmm... Anyone know of any
>REALLY bad Furry FanFic out there for me to MiST? I wouldn't mind
>taking a crack at a few...
If people are going to celebrate their superior cleverness by the ridiculing
of people whose only crime was that they made the mistake of putting their
writing efforts out where people could see them, could you please take the
discussion off ALF? I'm pretty sure it violates the spirit of the posting
guidelines, if not the letter.
Charlie "this is why I don't put my writing up" Luce
Artax
No, it does not violate either. That's a completely absurd interpretation.
a res. | Artax
r p c | (Brad Austin)
t x o |
ax@i m | Oceanside, CA USA
Duncan da Husky
>Charlie Luce wrote:
>> If people are going to celebrate their superior cleverness by the ridiculing
>> of people whose only crime was that they made the mistake of putting their
>> writing efforts out where people could see them, could you please take the
>> discussion off ALF? I'm pretty sure it violates the spirit of the posting
>> guidelines, if not the letter.
>
>No, it does not violate either. That's a completely absurd interpretation.
Not entirely absurd, Brad, but I'm not sure I agree with that interpretation
either. I would, however, consider that every story is the result of hours and
hours of work on the part of the author; they may have a good part of
themselves invested in a story. If I posted a story to the net only to have it
torn down by ridicule, however good-intentioned, that would be devastating.
Remember, damn few furry authors I know of do this for money - they do it for
fun and for the enjoyment of their friends in the fandom.
In short - is it against the posting guidelines? Probably not. But I don't
care for the idea much, either.
-Duncan da Husky, who enjoys MST3K, when appropriate
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom Brady dun...@uncia.com http://www.technomancer.com/~duncan
Furry: Duncan da Husky SCA: Duncan MacKinnon of Tobermory
"The acceptable response to homosexuality is not 'It's OK, it's not
your choice,' or even, 'It's OK, it *is* your choice,'
but rather, 'So?'" - Amy Gorin
Kimba W. Lion
>Charlie Luce wrote:
>> If people are going to celebrate their superior cleverness by the ridiculing
>> of people whose only crime was that they made the mistake of putting their
>> writing efforts out where people could see them, could you please take the
>> discussion off ALF? I'm pretty sure it violates the spirit of the posting
>> guidelines, if not the letter.
>
>No, it does not violate either. That's a completely absurd interpretation.
mmmmm.... I can see Charlie's point. But, even granting Brad's point,
I would maintain that the potential damage could be terrible. Certainly,
something like that shouldn't be done without the permission of the
original author.
Kimba
Kimba W. Lion
>something like that shouldn't be done without the permission of the
>original author.
In fact, I would think it falls under the same rule of etiquette that
says you don't alter someone's artwork and then post it.
Tim Gadd
bad writing. It was quite well done, in terms of accurate
characterisations of the original characteris. It just amused me as
peculiarly understated and pleasingly odd thing to write fan fiction
about.
Tim Gadd
Artax
> What is MiST, BTW?
It's a verbing of MST, also known as MST3K, or Mystery Science
Theater 3000.
Kimba W. Lion
>What is MiST, BTW?
It's a reference to the TV show Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3K)
which consists of bad movies from the perspective of a seat in a theatre
where you can hear people heckle the movie as it plays.
Yes, I know I just reduced a few well-loved characters to nothingness,
and I'm not saying I don't enjoy the show. It's just a very simple
premise.
Artax
>Artax wrote:
>>Charlie Luce wrote:
>>> If people are going to celebrate their superior cleverness by the ridiculing
>>> of people whose only crime was that they made the mistake of putting their
>>> writing efforts out where people could see them, could you please take the
>>> discussion off ALF? I'm pretty sure it violates the spirit of the posting
>>> guidelines, if not the letter.
>>
>>No, it does not violate either. That's a completely absurd interpretation.
>
>either.
Just to clarify a bit, I suppose the MiSTing thread probably had
devolved into a strictly fandom-oriented discussion, which actually
is off-topic, though I don't know that there's actually anyone who
cares very much about that rule anymore. But I took Charlie's
comment to be referring to the guidelines against posting value
judgements about other people's personal lives, as if making an
aesthetic judgement about a piece of writing or a work of art was
the same thing as that, which I maintain is an absurd interpretation.
As to it violating the "spirit of the guidelines", I can only imagine
what the reaction would have been on the original ALF newgroup/FAQ
committee mailing list had someone suggested that we disallow
criticizing bad art and writing.
>I would, however, consider that every story is the result of hours and
>hours of work on the part of the author; they may have a good part of
>themselves invested in a story. If I posted a story to the net only to have it
>torn down by ridicule, however good-intentioned, that would be devastating.
>Remember, damn few furry authors I know of do this for money - they do it for
>fun and for the enjoyment of their friends in the fandom.
>
>In short - is it against the posting guidelines? Probably not. But I don't
>care for the idea much, either.
How did we get to the point that we can't acknowledge bad art for what
it is? I'm sorry, but I don't just accept that. Bad art deserves to
be ridiculed.
A good MiSTing doesn't lampoon an artistic work that's merely inferior
due to the artist's/author's lack of skill or talent, or even one that
was carelessly and poorly executed by someone who's otherwise talented.
That wouldn't be funny. To be MiSTworthy an artistic work must be
_gratuitously_ bad. It must be as if the creator had gone out of his
way to make it bad, but didn't do it intentionally. It must display an
aesthetic obnoxiousness that can only come from a fundamental
wrongheadedness on the creator's part. It must not only fail at what it
attempts, but what it attempts must be so pedestrian and banal as to be
an insult to it's form. And I'm sorry but I simply don't agree that
there's any benefit to anyone by overlooking the awfulness of such drek
out of some kind of sense that all art is worthwhile on some level and
that absolutely anyone who creates an artistic work is to be encouraged.
Duncan da Husky
>But I took Charlie's
>comment to be referring to the guidelines against posting value
>judgements about other people's personal lives, as if making an
>aesthetic judgement about a piece of writing or a work of art was
>the same thing as that, which I maintain is an absurd interpretation.
<nod> I can agree with that. Not sure I'd go with "absurd," maybe "unusual,"
but that's nitpicking.
>A good MiSTing doesn't lampoon an artistic work that's merely inferior
>due to the artist's/author's lack of skill or talent, or even one that
>was carelessly and poorly executed by someone who's otherwise talented.
>That wouldn't be funny. To be MiSTworthy an artistic work must be
>_gratuitously_ bad.
As defined by whom, though? Pretty subjective definition.
>And I'm sorry but I simply don't agree that
>there's any benefit to anyone by overlooking the awfulness of such drek
>out of some kind of sense that all art is worthwhile on some level and
>that absolutely anyone who creates an artistic work is to be encouraged.
We'll have to agree to disagree on this point, I reckon. I think that there is
some value to all art, good, bad, or otherwise. Now, it may not be value to
ME, but that's fine - there are a few trillion other folks in the world, and
out of that some might find some value in the work. Sure, I've seen some stuff
in all media out there that I find completely laughable, but I'm willing to
grant that someone, somewhere might think it's the most meaningful work they
have ever experienced in their lives.
I mean, there has got to be *some* explanation for "Family Matters," after
all...
-Duncan da Husky, who thinks this might explain Hanson, too
Tim Gadd
>not_a...@address.com (Tim Gadd) wrote:
>>What is MiST, BTW?
>It's a reference to the TV show Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3K)
>which consists of bad movies from the perspective of a seat in a theatre
>where you can hear people heckle the movie as it plays.
Oh, I saw that at Brad's house once. To be honest, I don't see the
attraction. Is it for people who can't think up their own derisive
commentry? One of the lesser reasons I stopped watching tv is because
I'm too inclined to do that myself.
Artax
> Artax wrote:
> >due to the artist's/author's lack of skill or talent, or even one that
> >was carelessly and poorly executed by someone who's otherwise talented.
> >That wouldn't be funny. To be MiSTworthy an artistic work must be
> >_gratuitously_ bad.
>
> As defined by whom, though? Pretty subjective definition.
How objective does it need to be? I'm not saying that nothing is ever
MiSTed that doesn't deserve it, just that it's not a realistic thing to
be afraid of.
Cerulean
>Certainly,
>something like that shouldn't be done without the permission of the
>original author.
The FAQ at Web Site Number Nine indicates that it is, in fact,
expected that you should get permission from the author. There are a
number of authors who actually encourage the lampooning of their work
in this manner because (a) it, in theory, helps them improve their
work, and (b) it's funny, and they are willing to laugh at themselves.
Exceptions are made for mass-marketing spam, of course; it's fair to
quote something like that without permission.
Stormbear
no problems may arise.
Seems to me to be a good way of going about things.
Stormbear
(Chris Allen)
-----------------------------
"Were I (who to my cost already am
one of those strange, prodigious creatures, man)
a spirit free to choose, for my own share,
what case of flesh and blood I pleased to wear,
I'd be a dog, a monkey, or a bear,
Or anything but that vain animal
who is so proud of being rational."
John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
A Satire Against Mankind
apx. 1675 A.D.
Kimba W. Lion wrote:
>
> Kimba...@aol.com (Kimba W. Lion) wrote:
>
> >something like that shouldn't be done without the permission of the
> >original author.
>
Tim Gadd
>Just to clarify a bit, I suppose the MiSTing thread probably had
>devolved into a strictly fandom-oriented discussion, which actually
>is off-topic, though I don't know that there's actually anyone who
>cares very much about that rule anymore. But I took Charlie's
>comment to be referring to the guidelines against posting value
>judgements about other people's personal lives, as if making an
>aesthetic judgement about a piece of writing or a work of art was
>the same thing as that, which I maintain is an absurd interpretation.
>As to it violating the "spirit of the guidelines", I can only imagine
>what the reaction would have been on the original ALF newgroup/FAQ
>committee mailing list had someone suggested that we disallow
>criticizing bad art and writing.
It's taken a little while, but I think I've got my head around what it
is people are actually discussing here.
It's a little complex. First, if you're quoting substantial portions
of a work, there is a copyright issue, but let's leave that aside for
now, as it's fairly unrelated to the question at hand.
First off, the guidelines prohibit personal attacks and judgemental
posts (which isn't meant to mean, AFAIC, judgments per se, but
judgments about people's personal lives and beliefs, which boils down
to a variation on 'personal attack'.)
It isn't clear to me how an attack upon a product of a person's
imagination is fundamentally different from an attack on their
religion or sexuality - both of which would be in breach of the
posting guidelines. OTOH is a MiST nescessarily an attack, any more
than a joke about someone's religion is nescessarily an attack?
Also, since a MiST has original content, it is in fact a piece of
creative writing, and therefore is on-topic according to the posting
guidelines. If I've got it right, a MiST consists of one or more
fictive characters ridiculing another work. Can you 'blame' the author
of such a work for the opinions of his/her characters, any more than
you could blame the author of the subject of the MiST for the
behaviour of the characters being MiSTed?
I think you could easily hurt someone's feelings by MiSTing their
work, but I'm not sure that's enough to make it off-topic. I have to
admit though that - presuming the author of the original work is
associated with the furry community in some way - it would be possible
to use MiSTing to achieve the same goal as a personal attack. I'm not
sure I'm fond of the idea, but ultimately I don't think it comes under
'personal attack', and I don't think it should be called off-topic per
se. I'm not really trying to be helpful; just thinking out loud.
Artax
> It's taken a little while, but I think I've got my head around what it
> is people are actually discussing here.
>
> It's a little complex. First, if you're quoting substantial portions
> of a work, there is a copyright issue, but let's leave that aside for
> now, as it's fairly unrelated to the question at hand.
>
> First off, the guidelines prohibit personal attacks and judgemental
> posts (which isn't meant to mean, AFAIC, judgments per se, but
> judgments about people's personal lives and beliefs, which boils down
> to a variation on 'personal attack'.)
>
> It isn't clear to me how an attack upon a product of a person's
> imagination is fundamentally different from an attack on their
> religion or sexuality - both of which would be in breach of the
> posting guidelines.
Well, I agree with you to a point. For example if someone were to come
on ALF ranting about spooge art and how it's sick and immoral, that would
be an off-topic value judgement, and that would apply the same whether he
were focusing on the creation of such art (an aspect of the personal life
of the person who creates it), or on the consumption of such art (an aspect
of the personal life of the person who consumes it), or whether he was
focusing on the art itself (an implied value judgement on both). However
that's in the case of a value judgement. I would be hesitant to apply the
same standard to the case of a "personal attack".
First of all, I would caution against equating any criticism of any kind as
a personal attack. I think people know what a personal attack is, and that
beyond mere criticism it necessarily implies hostility and aggression and a
breakdown of civility. (Which, incidentally, I do not believe "value
judgement" necessarily implies, which is one reason I would disagree with
personal attacks and value judgements being two aspects of the same thing.)
I would have a hard time interpreting any criticism, no matter how severe,
of an artistic work, that isn't clearly intended merely as an indirect way
of attacking it's creator, of posessing those qualities, simply because
people generally don't feel hostility or aggression toward inanimate
objects or abstract products of the mind as they do toward actual people.
For example if someone were to refer to a work of art as "a piece of crap",
it would not immediately occur to me that that might be an expression of
hostility on the part of the person saying that, while if he referred to
another person that way, I would have a hard time seeing it as anything
but an expression of hostility. In summary, I don't think a criticism of
the product of a person's imagination should be considered an off-topic
personal attack unless it can be reasonably interpreted as an expression of
hostility and aggression directed at it's creator.
Charlie Luce
[...]
>First of all, I would caution against equating any criticism of any kind as
>a personal attack. I think people know what a personal attack is, and that
>beyond mere criticism it necessarily implies hostility and aggression and a
>breakdown of civility. (Which, incidentally, I do not believe "value
>judgement" necessarily implies, which is one reason I would disagree with
>personal attacks and value judgements being two aspects of the same thing.)
I did indeed have the "personal attack" portion in mind when I made the
original comment.
>I would have a hard time interpreting any criticism, no matter how severe,
>of an artistic work, that isn't clearly intended merely as an indirect way
>of attacking it's creator, of posessing those qualities, simply because
>people generally don't feel hostility or aggression toward inanimate
>objects or abstract products of the mind as they do toward actual people.
>For example if someone were to refer to a work of art as "a piece of crap",
>it would not immediately occur to me that that might be an expression of
>hostility on the part of the person saying that, while if he referred to
>another person that way, I would have a hard time seeing it as anything
>but an expression of hostility. In summary, I don't think a criticism of
>the product of a person's imagination should be considered an off-topic
>personal attack unless it can be reasonably interpreted as an expression of
>hostility and aggression directed at it's creator.
You don't see a difference between criticism and ridicule? The snide,
condecending tone of a MiSTing doesn't strike you as anything an author of
a fan-fic should consider an attack? That it might be the equivalent of
taunting someone in a fursuit?
Well, I can't remember who here did and didn't get bent out of shape over the
various snide, condecending magazine articles about furries, so I can't do a
direct comparison, but speaking as a person who has had to help comfort a good
friend who was in tears after one of these practitioners tore their early
writing effort to shreds, I can assure you that _I_ see a difference.
I don't kick puppies, I don't glefully flame newbies, and I don't appreciate
people who do, nor do I accept superior cleverness as an excuse, any more than
I would greater size and strength.
Charlie Luce
Ron Orr... & Tirran
> You don't see a difference between criticism and ridicule?
I suppose the difference might be motivation.
I've not seen much of MST3K; it's not carried on any channel we
have available Up Here without a sattelite feed. But what I _have_ seen
of it suggests to me that, like most good satire of this kind, it's not
done maliciously, that the show's writers actually love the dreadful
films that have been put up on that movie screen.
I doubt this is true of many of those who imitate the form. It's
easy to fool yourself into thinking you're being clever when all you're
being is nasty, petty and small.
It certainly isn't easy to apply a blanket statement to
something like this...
> Well, I can't remember who here did and didn't get bent out of shape over the
> various snide, condecending magazine articles about furries, so I can't do a
> direct comparison, but speaking as a person who has had to help comfort a good
> friend who was in tears after one of these practitioners tore their early
> writing effort to shreds, I can assure you that _I_ see a difference.
Both of which, I think, illustrate my point nicely...
Tir'
Lost Number
news:1dpf8q4.14p...@hunt-annex-port9.vianet.on.ca...
> Charlie Luce wrote:
>
> > You don't see a difference between criticism and ridicule?
>
> I suppose the difference might be motivation.
> I've not seen much of MST3K; it's not carried on any channel we
> have available Up Here without a sattelite feed. But what I _have_ seen
> of it suggests to me that, like most good satire of this kind, it's not
> done maliciously, that the show's writers actually love the dreadful
> films that have been put up on that movie screen.
And.. who knows? If the MiSTing is more popular than your original, you may
acquire a fan who didn't think you were all that bad ;)
I've experienced that... I showed the MiSTing of "Eye of Argon" by Jim Theis
to a friend of mine.. he got caught up in the story and told me he wished
those guys would quit talking over it! In the end he went and found a
non-MiSTed version of it for himself to read. :)
*Muke!
--
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ICQ: 1936556 http://mc11a.southern.edu/
Tim Gadd
>Charlie Luce wrote:
>> You don't see a difference between criticism and ridicule?
> I suppose the difference might be motivation.
> I've not seen much of MST3K; it's not carried on any channel we
>have available Up Here without a sattelite feed. But what I _have_ seen
>of it suggests to me that, like most good satire of this kind, it's not
>done maliciously, that the show's writers actually love the dreadful
>films that have been put up on that movie screen.
There's another factor - at least judging by the one episode I saw:
the films were so old (and I think foreign language, too) that the
creators are probably dead by now.
> I doubt this is true of many of those who imitate the form. It's
>easy to fool yourself into thinking you're being clever when all you're
>being is nasty, petty and small.
Satire/parody can be a very lazy form: half the work's done for you
already. If your creative contribution is going to consists of
smart-arsed remarks, then they better be outstandingly witty ones -
IMHO anyway.
Artax
> In article <01be7892$a7385dc0$d11c89cf@home>, Artax writes...
> >of an artistic work, that isn't clearly intended merely as an indirect way
> >of attacking it's creator, of posessing those qualities, simply because
> >people generally don't feel hostility or aggression toward inanimate
> >objects or abstract products of the mind as they do toward actual people.
> >For example if someone were to refer to a work of art as "a piece of crap",
> >it would not immediately occur to me that that might be an expression of
> >hostility on the part of the person saying that, while if he referred to
> >another person that way, I would have a hard time seeing it as anything
> >but an expression of hostility. In summary, I don't think a criticism of
> >the product of a person's imagination should be considered an off-topic
> >personal attack unless it can be reasonably interpreted as an expression of
> >hostility and aggression directed at it's creator.
>
I didn't say that.
> The snide,
> condecending tone of a MiSTing doesn't strike you as anything an author of
> a fan-fic should consider an attack?
No, it doesn't. As I said before, "attack" implies agression. Snide
condescent does not constitute aggression. They may go together sometimes,
but one is not the other.
> That it might be the equivalent of
> taunting someone in a fursuit?
Equivilent in what way? I'm afraid you've lost me. Also I'm highly skeptical
of proof by analogy arguments in general.
> Well, I can't remember who here did and didn't get bent out of shape over the
> various snide, condecending magazine articles about furries, so I can't do a
> direct comparison,
Not me. Again though, I don't really know what you're getting at.
> but speaking as a person who has had to help comfort a good
> friend who was in tears after one of these practitioners tore their early
> writing effort to shreds, I can assure you that _I_ see a difference.
>
> I don't kick puppies, I don't glefully flame newbies, and I don't appreciate
> people who do, nor do I accept superior cleverness as an excuse, any more than
> I would greater size and strength.
Is your point that MiSTing doesn't belong on ALF, or that it doesn't belong
anywhere? If the latter, then you're welcome to your opinion, but, melodramatic
emotional imagery notwithstanding, I'm afraid that for me to agree that a
particular form of expression has no place anywhere at all I would need to
hear a seriously compelling reason, which is a standard that "snide condescent
can hurt people's feelings" just doesn't meet AFAIC. Sorry. The World is
full of humor that's at other people's expense, and most people don't get too
bent out of shape over it.
Charlie Luce
>Charlie Luce wrote:
>> That it [snide condecention] might be the equivalent of
>
>Equivilent in what way? I'm afraid you've lost me. Also I'm highly skeptical
>of proof by analogy arguments in general.
The point was that the effect of disparaging comments was not dependent on the
medium or the method of delivery.
>>Well, I can't remember who here did and didn't get bent out of shape over the
>>various snide, condecending magazine articles about furries, so I can't do a
>>direct comparison,
>
>Not me. Again though, I don't really know what you're getting at.
Noted.
>Is your point that MiSTing doesn't belong on ALF, or that it doesn't belong
>anywhere?
To quote myself at the beginnig of the sub-thread, "could you please take the
discussion off ALF?"
> The World is
>full of humor that's at other people's expense, and most people don't get too
>bent out of shape over it.
As has been noted here many times, The World is full of a number of things that
aren't welcome on ALF.
Anyway, since this has now degenerated below meaningful, I won't be replying
again.
Charlie "on to new threads" Luce
Artax
> >Is your point that MiSTing doesn't belong on ALF, or that it doesn't belong
> >anywhere?
>
> To quote myself at the beginnig of the sub-thread, "could you please take the
> discussion off ALF?"
Yes, but your arguments seemed to be mostly about how MiSTing is
bad and hurtful in general rather than how it's off-topic.
> > The World is
> >full of humor that's at other people's expense, and most people don't get too
> >bent out of shape over it.
>
> As has been noted here many times, The World is full of a number of things that
> aren't welcome on ALF.
Yes, but the criteria is rather specific. It may not be possible
to achive 100% objectivity, but whether a given post is off-topic or
not at least needs to be evaluated rationally and dispassionately, and,
I'm sorry but I just don't think you're being very rational about this.
It's my impression that your original complaint about Sylvan Silvernight's
post, and your apparent annoyance with me, aren't actually about Sylvan's
post being off-topic or inappropriate, or about anything I said or did, but
rather about you projecting your anger at the person who ridiculed your
friend's writing first onto Sylvan and then onto me. If I'm mistaken I
apologize, but that's how it looks to me.
> Anyway, since this has now degenerated below meaningful, I won't be replying
> again.
Okay bye.
Cerulean
>Satire/parody can be a very lazy form: half the work's done for you
>already. If your creative contribution is going to consists of
>smart-arsed remarks, then they better be outstandingly witty ones -
>IMHO anyway.
This applies to all humour. Every subject and form has the potential
for humour, but it's not going to be funny unless you make it funny.
People see, for instance, something that is funny and violent, and
often make one of of two mistakes: they say "This isn't funny because
violence isn't funny," and refuse to acknowledge the presence of
humour, or they say "This is funny because it's violent," and fall
flat when they try to imitate it using violence that delivers no joke
whatsoever.
You can replace the word "violence" in the above paragraph with just
about anything, including "criticism." Even bathroom humour has the
capacity to be successful, as long as there's something about it that
actually makes it funny.
Tim Gadd
>Quoth Tim Gadd:
>>Satire/parody can be a very lazy form: half the work's done for you
>>already. If your creative contribution is going to consists of
>>smart-arsed remarks, then they better be outstandingly witty ones -
>>IMHO anyway.
>This applies to all humour. Every subject and form has the potential
>for humour, but it's not going to be funny unless you make it funny.
Well perhaps, but my main point was that if you're doing a parody,
someone else has already supplied you with the plot. Your humour work
merely consists of altering parts of it. Satire requires a bit more
effort than parody, as it doesn't usually involve a send-up a specific
work. I'm not saying parody can't be excellant, but that the
excellance needs to be concentrated into a particular aspect of the
work.