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DO NOT READ if you are offended by Polish jokes
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Judith Latham
Jul 24, 2021, 9:35:31 PM7/24/21
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Q: Did you hear that the Polish government bought a thousand septic
tanks?
A: As soon as they learn to drive them, they're going to invade
Russia.
Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only four children?
A: Because they read that one out of every five babies born in the
world is Chinese.
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who got his vasectomy at Sears?
A: Every time he gets a hard-on, his garage door opens!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish weightlifter who won an Olympic gold
medal in the clean-and-jerk competition?
A: As soon as he gets home, he's going to have his medal bronzed!
Q: What do Polish lesbians use for lubricant?
A: Tartar sauce!
Q: How come the Polish firing squad was never successful?
A: They always stood in a circle!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack and a monkey?
A: Nothing, a monkey is too smart to screw a Polack!
Did you hear about the two bald-headed Polacks who put their heads
together and made an ass out of themselves?
Did you hear about the Polack who took a roll of toilet paper to a
craps game?
Q: How can you tell a Polish pirate?
A: He has a patch over both eyes.
Q: Did you hear about the famous Polish inventor Alexander Graham
Kowalski?
A: He invented the telephone pole!
Q: Have you heard about the Polish daredevil, Evil Grabowski?
A: He jumps over 15 motorcycles with a garbage truck!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish wolf that got stuck in a trap?
A: It gnawed off three legs, and couldn't figure out why it still
wasn't free!
Q. What's a Polish 69?
A. You suck your thumb while you jerk off!
Did you hear about the Polack kamikaze pilot that flew 48 successful
missions?
Did you hear about the Polack who thought asphalt was rectum trouble?
Q: What did they find when they tore down the Berlin Wall?
A: The Polish hide-and-seek champion.
Q: Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?
A: It's a solar-powered flashlight.
Q: Did you hear about the new automatic Polish parachutes?
A: They open on impact!
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to
kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover!"
Q: How did the Polish lady blow her brains out?
A: She stepped on her douche bag!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: Did you hear about the new sports stadium in Warsaw that had to be
torn down after only one event?
A: The problem was no matter where you sat, you sat behind a Pole!
Did you hear about the Polish bride who wore something old, something
new, something borrowed, something blue, something red, something
green, something yellow...
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who tried out for "Riverdance"?
A: He drowned.
A Polish family is sitting in the living room. The wife turns to the
husband and says "Let's send the kids out to
P-L-A-Y so we can go in the bedroom and fuck."
Q: What's the favorite Polish houseplant?
A: Crabgrass.
Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Polish coke bottle?
A: Open other end!
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest
Service.
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Poland
tanks?
A: As soon as they learn to drive them, they're going to invade
Russia.
Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only four children?
A: Because they read that one out of every five babies born in the
world is Chinese.
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who got his vasectomy at Sears?
A: Every time he gets a hard-on, his garage door opens!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish weightlifter who won an Olympic gold
medal in the clean-and-jerk competition?
A: As soon as he gets home, he's going to have his medal bronzed!
Q: What do Polish lesbians use for lubricant?
A: Tartar sauce!
Q: How come the Polish firing squad was never successful?
A: They always stood in a circle!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack and a monkey?
A: Nothing, a monkey is too smart to screw a Polack!
Did you hear about the two bald-headed Polacks who put their heads
together and made an ass out of themselves?
Did you hear about the Polack who took a roll of toilet paper to a
craps game?
Q: How can you tell a Polish pirate?
A: He has a patch over both eyes.
Q: Did you hear about the famous Polish inventor Alexander Graham
Kowalski?
A: He invented the telephone pole!
Q: Have you heard about the Polish daredevil, Evil Grabowski?
A: He jumps over 15 motorcycles with a garbage truck!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish wolf that got stuck in a trap?
A: It gnawed off three legs, and couldn't figure out why it still
wasn't free!
Q. What's a Polish 69?
A. You suck your thumb while you jerk off!
Did you hear about the Polack kamikaze pilot that flew 48 successful
missions?
Did you hear about the Polack who thought asphalt was rectum trouble?
Q: What did they find when they tore down the Berlin Wall?
A: The Polish hide-and-seek champion.
Q: Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?
A: It's a solar-powered flashlight.
Q: Did you hear about the new automatic Polish parachutes?
A: They open on impact!
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to
kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover!"
Q: How did the Polish lady blow her brains out?
A: She stepped on her douche bag!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: Did you hear about the new sports stadium in Warsaw that had to be
torn down after only one event?
A: The problem was no matter where you sat, you sat behind a Pole!
Did you hear about the Polish bride who wore something old, something
new, something borrowed, something blue, something red, something
green, something yellow...
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who tried out for "Riverdance"?
A: He drowned.
A Polish family is sitting in the living room. The wife turns to the
husband and says "Let's send the kids out to
P-L-A-Y so we can go in the bedroom and fuck."
Q: What's the favorite Polish houseplant?
A: Crabgrass.
Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Polish coke bottle?
A: Open other end!
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest
Service.
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Poland
bosod...@gmail.com
Jul 25, 2021, 6:56:06 PM7/25/21
to
Judith Latham
Jul 25, 2021, 8:18:10 PM7/25/21
to
laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?
OllieN...@aol.com
Jul 26, 2021, 4:35:54 PM7/26/21
to
Judith Latham
Jul 26, 2021, 9:06:07 PM7/26/21
to
Man is walking along the beach shore when he meets a young woman who had
no arms and no legs. She was crying and he asked her why. She replied "I
have never been hugged". He bent down and held her in his arms and said
"Now you've been hugged'. She again started to cry and again he asked
why. "I've never been kissed' she said, so he knelt down and kissed her
on the lips. "Now you've been kissed" he said as he started to walk
away. Again she starts crying and said "I've never been fucked". He
bends down, picks her up and throws her into the sea. "Now you're
fucked" he said smiling.
Thomas Joseph
Jul 26, 2021, 9:57:06 PM7/26/21
to
> Man is walking along the beach shore when he meets a young woman who had
> no arms and no legs. She was crying and he asked her why. She replied "I
> have never been hugged". He bent down and held her in his arms and said
> "Now you've been hugged'. She again started to cry and again he asked
> why. "I've never been kissed' she said, so he knelt down and kissed her
> on the lips. "Now you've been kissed" he said as he started to walk
> away. Again she starts crying and said "I've never been fucked". He
> bends down, picks her up and throws her into the sea. "Now you're
> fucked" he said smiling.
Thomas Joseph
Jul 27, 2021, 12:36:53 PM7/27/21
to
A man without arms or legs is walking along the beach. A blind woman sitting on the sand says, "How can you walk without legs?", to which the legless one replies, "How can you see without eyes?"
Do you get the moral in my story? Good. I don't. But if I were famous, especially dead and famous, oh you can bet they'd be analyzing my story top to bottom. "What did he mean exactly when he asked how she could see without eyes? He could have said it a different way. It's just the words, the way he used them, the way they rolled out and conveyed the inner meaning, I don't know, there's just something really artistic and genuine about it. Ok class, now let's analyze more of this great man's works. Johnny, you may read the next one."
Do you get the moral in my story? Good. I don't. But if I were famous, especially dead and famous, oh you can bet they'd be analyzing my story top to bottom. "What did he mean exactly when he asked how she could see without eyes? He could have said it a different way. It's just the words, the way he used them, the way they rolled out and conveyed the inner meaning, I don't know, there's just something really artistic and genuine about it. Ok class, now let's analyze more of this great man's works. Johnny, you may read the next one."
Judith Latham
Jul 27, 2021, 3:07:08 PM7/27/21
to
On 7/27/2021 12:36 PM, Thomas Joseph wrote:
> A man without arms or legs is walking along the beach. A blind woman sitting on the sand says, "How can you walk without legs?", to which the legless one replies, "How can you see without eyes?"
>
> Do you get the moral in my story? Good. I don't. But if I were famous, especially dead and famous, oh you can bet they'd be analyzing my story top to bottom. "What did he mean exactly when he asked how she could see without eyes? He could have said it a different way. It's just the words, the way he used them, the way they rolled out and conveyed the inner meaning, I don't know, there's just something really artistic and genuine about it. Ok class, now let's analyze more of this great man's works. Johnny, you may read the next one."
>
How did you know that the man in the story was Jesus?
> A man without arms or legs is walking along the beach. A blind woman sitting on the sand says, "How can you walk without legs?", to which the legless one replies, "How can you see without eyes?"
>
> Do you get the moral in my story? Good. I don't. But if I were famous, especially dead and famous, oh you can bet they'd be analyzing my story top to bottom. "What did he mean exactly when he asked how she could see without eyes? He could have said it a different way. It's just the words, the way he used them, the way they rolled out and conveyed the inner meaning, I don't know, there's just something really artistic and genuine about it. Ok class, now let's analyze more of this great man's works. Johnny, you may read the next one."
>
Thomas Joseph
Jul 27, 2021, 6:03:14 PM7/27/21
to
> How did you know that the man in the story was Jesus?
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