Dog Shit Park

[bosod...@gmail.com]

Is there a Dog Shit Park where you live?

What's it called?

[Judith Latham]

In Williamsburg, Brooklyn I have a Korean neighbor. His name is Mr.
Hun Yaun Park. I'm not sure why but the kids in the neighborhood have
taken to calling him "Dog Shit Park". I'm guessing it's because he
smells like dog shit.

[Thomas Joseph]

> In Williamsburg, Brooklyn I have a Korean neighbor. His name is Mr.
> Hun Yaun Park. I'm not sure why but the kids in the neighborhood have
> taken to calling him "Dog Shit Park". I'm guessing it's because he
> smells like dog shit.

As a kid I lived for a time in Yonkers NY in a project. My grandmother lived nearby in an upstairs apartment overlooking a lawn of hardened mud. The smell of dog shit was in the air. But it was not foul. It was just there. The memory of it is strong in my brain. Odor and memory go hand in hand. I'm not talking about fresh dog shit here, I'm talking the hard type - old, uncollected, just part of the landscape. Reminds me of a scene from the movie Carlito's Way (which I liked), where Carlito just got out of prison and is back in his old barrio for the first time in a while, getting the tour from a friend who says, "Nothin' left. Like them old cowboy movies, only instead of tumbleweed and cow dung we got stripped car wrecks and dog shit." From that line alone I could smell his neighborhood. It had a nostalgic vibe to it.

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Nothing like breaking open a crusted over dog shit to see and smell the gooey center.

[Thomas Joseph]

> Nothing like breaking open a crusted over dog shit to see and smell the gooey center.

Man, if there were a way to condense that down so it would fit on a tee shirt I know it would be a big seller. Straight through the crust to the pudding beneath. Dive your nose into it. See, you hit it right on the head - succinctly. Your crusted over dog turd that does not smell till it is busted open only serves to prove my theory that hardened filth not only does not smell, it holds in the smell of the pudding below. Hard things don't smell. Go soft and watch that odor soar aloft.

[OllieN...@aol.com]

On Friday, August 20, 2021 at 10:51:09 PM UTC-4, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Nothing like breaking open a crusted over dog shit to see and smell the gooey center.
> Man, if there were a way to condense that down so it would fit on a tee shirt I know it would be a big seller. Straight through the crust to the pudding beneath. Dive your nose into it. See, you hit it right on the head - succinctly. Your crusted over dog turd that does not smell till it is busted open only serves to prove my theory that hardened filth not only does not smell, it holds in the smell of the pudding below. Hard things don't smell. Go soft and watch that odor soar aloft.

Maybe Leif can do it.

[Thomas Joseph]

> Man, if there were a way to condense that down so it would fit on a tee shirt I know it would be a big seller. Straight through the crust to the pudding beneath. Dive your nose into it. See, you hit it right on the head - succinctly. Your crusted over dog turd that does not smell till it is busted open only serves to prove my theory that hardened filth not only does not smell, it holds in the smell of the pudding below. Hard things don't smell. Go soft and watch that odor soar aloft.


> Maybe Leif can do it.

Do what? There was a lot of doing in that post. Busting through hard crust to the pudding below, holding in the smell of the pudding below, or going soft and watching the odor soar aloft. Or do you mean that Leif can take the pudding/crust bit to the stage from where it goes on to trend nationally. You know, just now looking at my post, digging deep into it's inner meaning, I see now how soft and hard apply to stench in all it's magnificent forms. Take the cock. Ordinarily people don't talk about cocks smelling. Oh, sometimes you'll hear it, but the cock doesn't rank up there with farts and turds on the odor scale. But even there, use your imagination. Imagine a 10 foot tall cock - a real one - hard as a rock, as stenchless as a statue. Now imagine the hard ten footer suddenly folding down to just an inch of skin. In that one brief moment - you gotta get it close - the implosion of hard to soft creates a reek to rival that of any fart or turd. But like I say, you have to get in really close and sniff it fast because as a non traditionally smelly thing it doesn't last very long. But it's powerful. You just have to get in close and you'll notice it. With anything going from hard to soft a smell takes place. There is smell to everything. I know. I was born a nose and grew into a human body.

[bosod...@gmail.com]

You almost sound genuine as Judith Latham, but the slightly sociopathic TJ always bleeds through.

[Judith Latham]

Forgive me if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you talking about?

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Leif could condense it to a tee shirt. That is Leif's big talent. He needs to pursue the t shirt business.

[Thomas Joseph]

> You almost sound genuine as Judith Latham, but the slightly sociopathic TJ always bleeds through.

The slightly homicidal TJ always bleeding through has kept the slightly homicidal TJ from committing homicide. Remember that, Clown!

[Thomas Joseph]

> Forgive me if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you talking about?

"Forgive me if this sounds rude"...............? Why must that precede your main thought. What's wrong with just "What the fuck are you talking about?" Once again, it sounds like your pandering up to Bozo. Striving to bond with Bozo, to blend with Bozo, to become as one with the Clown. To perhaps even accept his hand in holy matrimony - is that what it's all about? Well is it?

[Thomas Joseph]

> Leif could condense it to a tee shirt. That is Leif's big talent. He needs to pursue the t shirt business.

When I went to see Leif in Greensboro when he passed through this way he told the audience toward the end of his act that if they wanted to buy a Leif Skyving tee shirt he'd be standing by the door. It was about the only comment in his act that made me laugh. I thought he was kidding. When he was done I walked up to him and he said, "I'll get back with you in few minutes, I've got to sell some tee shirts", before heading to the door to take up position. I never did it for money. Oh, twice actually, two guys I know paid me like $10 to open for them, and both times I really sucked. Hey, you're the animation guy, right? Maybe you'd be good with the tee shirt thing. How about the front of a tee showing a huge hardened turd and below the turd it says, "It Don't Stink!"

Then, the back of the tee shows the same turd all flattened out like someone's stepped on it, and it says: "But It Do Now!"

[OllieN...@aol.com]

LOL. Shit tees - $20 or 2 for $50.

[Thomas Joseph]

> > Then, the back of the tee shows the same turd all flattened out like someone's stepped on it, and it says: "But It Do Now!"


> LOL. Shit tees - $20 or 2 for $50.

I now buy my tee shirts strictly from thrift stores. Most have some kind of writing on them. I don't care as long as it's not something I'm opposed to or something incredibly non aesthetic. Even then if the material is good I'll wear it in the winter under a sweat shirt. Anyway, I noticed most tee shirts with writing on them usually don't fit real well. They don't drape. I think this is because it's easier to apply writing to something more flattened out and boxy, so the tees are typically not high quality. If we want to make money we have to go in the opposite direction - designer tees with writing. Excellent material and craftsmanship. Funny stuff. Something no one has seen before. $30 to $50 or more per shirt. I hate to say it, but I think it's time we appeal to the same small dwindling circle of people the hi end restaurants and other over priced are after. Later some of the tees we produced will go viral. They will be snatched up by our people and later sold at auction. I'm telling you, this is it. We are on the tee. Tee #1. Let's see how far we can hit the ball. And this time let's really make it happen.

Let's do this thing

Front: "Please Beat Cancer."

Back: "So I don't won't have to."

[Judith Latham]

I remember as a child being punished by my parents for buying a
tee-shirt that read "My grandparents were in Auschwitz and all I got was
this lousy t-shirt". They obviously had no sense of humor.

[Judith Latham]

On 8/26/2021 3:56 PM, Thomas Joseph wrote:
>
>> Forgive me if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you talking about?
>
>
> "Forgive me if this sounds rude"...............? Why must that precede your main thought. What's wrong with just "What the fuck are you talking about?" Once again, it sounds like your pandering up to Bozo. Striving to bond with Bozo, to blend with Bozo, to become as one with the Clown. To perhaps even accept his hand in holy matrimony - is that what it's all about? Well is it?
>

First I'd like to meet him face to face. If all works out, yes, I'd
marry him.

[Thomas Joseph]

> I remember as a child being punished by my parents for buying a
> tee-shirt that read "My grandparents were in Auschwitz and all I got was
> this lousy t-shirt". They obviously had no sense of humor.

A Jew without humor? Are you kidding me? Maybe they weren't real Jews. Maybe you were adopted. Your real parents were Jews and so are you, but the humorless duo trying to pass themselves off as your birth parents are frauds. Still, they helped you in a time of crisis, so let's not be harsh on them.

[Thomas Joseph]

> First I'd like to meet him face to face. If all works out, yes, I'd
> marry him.

If it all works out. I watched anther Alfred Hitchcock the other night that reminds me of your long distance Bozo affair. A lonely women went alone to a night club one night where she saw for first time a ventriloquist named Max Calodi. The posters outside the club presented him as a dashing figure. On stage he did not disappoint. The women fell in love with him. Hard to believe, but hey, it's a TV show. She writes letters to Colodi. He responds. Then finally one day he arranged to "allow" her to see him at his room. He rarely has visitors, so this is a big deal. She knocks on the door and is told to come in. Collodi and his puppet are sitting at the far end of a table. It's dark, hard to see. The woman advances. When she gets close, Calodi yells out, "Please, come no closer." But it's too late. She brushes something on the table that causes Calodi to fall to the floor with a crash. The woman screams. Then the puppet at the table stands up and begins screaming, "Get out, get out", when she realizes that the dashing on stage figure was actually the puppet, and the on stage puppet was actually Calodi.

You are warmly invited to the wedding of Judith Latham and Bozo M. Calodi. Be there!

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I had an act using a rubber vagina for a puppet. It flopped because it was menustrating.

[bosod...@gmail.com]

On Thursday, August 26, 2021 at 12:56:01 PM UTC-7, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:
> > Forgive me if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you talking about?
> "Forgive me if this sounds rude"...............? Why must that precede your main thought. What's wrong with just "What the fuck are you talking about?" Once again, it sounds like your pandering up to Bozo. Striving to bond with Bozo, to blend with Bozo, to become as one with the Clown. To perhaps even accept his hand in holy matrimony - is that what it's all about? Well is it?

"I'm WALKING here!" (Midnight Cowboy) "I'm TALKING here!" (12 Angry Men) — so the WTF I'm talk'n about here is this "Judith Latham", you never really know who's-who here much less whose-who here is just a sockpuppet you've been suckered into believing is real, and though the rancor and raconteur of an "ollie" or a "TJ" or a "Bozo" or a "Judith Latham" for that matter may all be compelling, I still ain't gonna fall for it if I ain't convinced (and sorry I just ain't convinced) Jew or not a Jew. Sorry all you trolls and sockpuppets but that's just the way it is.

[bosod...@gmail.com]

I had to read that about twice or so to get the message but as Woddy Allan said through one of his on-stage characters in "Manhattan" or "What's Her Face 'n Name", all movies and their characters are flawed.

[Thomas Joseph]

> I had to read that about twice or so to get the message but as Woddy Allan said through one of his on-stage characters in "Manhattan" or "What's Her Face 'n Name", all movies and their characters are flawed.

I understand. Retelling a story, especially one already well told, can be very annoying. Like people recreating scenes from movies or SNL skits or telling jokes they heard from the best pros around. But sometimes - sometimes - it actually comes out good. I have heard people's versions of movie scenes and so forth - like the guy I knew who loved the movie Shane and would act out one scene he loved the most, and he did a good job of it. It was funny. Of course knowing the guy has something to do with it. Then when I see the actual movie I think, "Oh yeah, that scene Chuck is always imitating is about to come up", and it turns out to be a total dud compared to Chuck's version. Now is that because I heard Chuck's version first? Some might be inclined to suspect that is the case and I don't blame them. But I had already seen Shane, I just wasn't deep into it as a movie and did not have that particular scene etched into my brain. But yes, you are correct, my retelling of the Hitchcock story was poorly done. But you read it more than once. Beyond my subpar telling you must have seen a good story or you would not have gone back and read it two (or more) times. Thank you Bozo.

[Thomas Joseph]

> I had to read that about twice or so to get the message but as Woddy Allan said through one of his on-stage characters in "Manhattan" or "What's Her Face 'n Name", all movies and their characters are flawed.

Now in defense of myself I will say this. I do ramble. I take a long time to get to the point, if there is one. But I don't resort to trickery and also try to avoid using examples. I fall into using them now and then but prefer to avoid them as best I can. You see, you are so concerned with keeping things short that you will use an example, like Woody Allen above, and what Allen has to say instead of using your own words. Other the other hand, I too would like to be more succinct in my renderings, but refuse - do you hear me? I absolutely refuse - to cave in to using examples and quotations of other more notable people. Fuck them and the horse they rode in on, and that includes especially Woody Allen and his vastly overrated movies. I liked the guy when I was a kid, short appearances on TV, standup stuff - but other than that he is way overrated and anyone who likes him is on my radar for possible future extermination.

[Judith Latham]

Well I know papa is really Jewish. I walked in the bathroom once on him
in all his glory. The boy has a Hebrew National down there. Mama's got
the Jew face; it's where Sarah gets her looks from (minus the ears).
They raised 15 kids in a 3 bedroom railroad apartment My bubbe and Tom
made 19 of us sharing 5 tiny rooms off space. They kept the house kosher
and they were cheap as hell. They qualify as Jews.

[Thomas Joseph]

> Well I know papa is really Jewish. I walked in the bathroom once on him
> in all his glory. The boy has a Hebrew National down there. Mama's got
> the Jew face; it's where Sarah gets her looks from (minus the ears).
> They raised 15 kids in a 3 bedroom railroad apartment My bubbe and Tom
> made 19 of us sharing 5 tiny rooms off space. They kept the house kosher
> and they were cheap as hell. They qualify as Jews.

Jews are cheap but it's nothing special because the reality is everybody is cheap. Except me. I'm a generous guy. Actually that's a lie. I am neither generous or cheap. Some people are generous to make up for other people's cheapness. Some people are cheap to make up for other people's generosity. In my world - a world based strictly on fairness - things such as generosity and cheapness would not be needed. Fairness would wipe them out. Exterminate them. I see once again you are responding to Ollie and not to me. Why? Do you really believe you are going to drive a wedge between and Ollie? It's not going to happen. I am truly a man of fairness. Please believe me.

[Judith Latham]

According to Jewish law, you are incapable of possessing the quality of
fairness. Only a pius man can be both cheap and generous simultaneously.
Let's face it Thomas, you are not and never will be a pius man. I
believe you are always cheap, unless you are out on a date and you're
trying to impress some floozy with big knockers. The time to come clean
is now.

>

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Cheap is not a nice word. It is a cheap shot.

[Thomas Joseph]

> Cheap is not a nice word. It is a cheap shot.

Thanks. It is very generous of you to share your opinions on this sensitive matter.

[Thomas Joseph]

> According to Jewish law, you are incapable of possessing the quality of
> fairness. Only a pius man can be both cheap and generous simultaneously.
> Let's face it Thomas, you are not and never will be a pius man. I
> believe you are always cheap, unless you are out on a date and you're
> trying to impress some floozy with big knockers. The time to come clean
> is now.

LOL, finally. Keep it up, speak the truth Sister. Except sometimes the truth is not entirely true. For instance, your assertion that I am cheap and always will be because I am not a pius man. I don't know what pius means, but I have an idea. I do know that I am a genuine devotee of the Golden Rule, and we don't need no stinking pius rules to make it happen.

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Pius - sounds like a urinary problem in men.

[Thomas Joseph]

> Pius - sounds like a urinary problem in men.

First time I ever heard of the Pope it was a guy named Pius, can't recall the number. I was about 10 living in NY with my mother who was crippled. In a wheelchair, first one leg missing, then the other. Anyway, that's the first name I knew for a Pope. Later after I had fled NY for PA and gone to L.A. I went back to NY to visit my mother for an hour or two and she pulled out an album filled with pictures of her with a group of other desperate people at Lourdes in France, waiting their chance to take a dip in it's healing waters. I had a girlfriend with me. It was cruel, yes, looking back, but we had to fight to hold in the laughs while looking at those pics. What the fuck, with all the shit she had wrong with her I can't blame her for taking shots at the moon. Who knows what could have happened?

I went to Lourdes to kneel and pray
But sadly the Lord himself was not there that day
I slipped into the waters and prayed for the heal
Would the Lord high above hark unto my plea?

I went in crippled, bleak with despair
But all around me there was hope in the air
The ice chilled waters cut deep like a knife
But I came out the same - a cripple for life

[OllieN...@aol.com]

What if it worked? I think it working would be funny. People would feel an obligation to lead a holy life afterward. That could be a form of being crippled.

[Judith Latham]

It's stories like that that make one wonder just how much bullshit are
our elders feeding us. Can you imagine the audacity of telling a midget
that if he jumps into the Holy Pool, his dick will grow longer? Your
dear mother, if she is still alive, has my heart-felt sympathy. She'd
have been better off going to the local bar in Lourdes (appropriately
named 'Crips') and gotten piss-ass drunk on Jameson and Guinness. While
there she can consume as much pickled sausage as she can eat. Before the
night's half way through, she be farting up a storm annd loving every
minute of it. Your mom deserves a good time; take her to Lourdes.

[Thomas Joseph]

Ollie opined:
Latham retorted:
Joseph finalized:

> What if it worked? I think it working would be funny. People would feel an obligation to lead a holy life afterward. That could be a form of being crippled.

Good point Ollie. Reminds me of 'some' people who go to AA and manage to get by without drinking yet feel obligated to continue attending meetings out of fear of some kind. It's like they're afraid their higher power will get angry and vindictive if they turn their backs on it. I know the vibe. It's an addiction of sorts. A superstition/addiction type thangaling, like an athlete who wins the big game wearing a certain shirt and must now wear it for every important game or he's going to lose. How about the ones who aren't crippled by finding God, they do it on purpose to give their lives meaning. Like the ones who are sole survivors of airplane crashes and so forth and are convinced that God has saved them for a higher purpose - or so they say in public. It's funny. I like it.

> It's stories like that that make one wonder just how much bullshit are
> our elders feeding us. Can you imagine the audacity of telling a midget
> that if he jumps into the Holy Pool, his dick will grow longer? Your
> dear mother, if she is still alive, has my heart-felt sympathy. She'd
> have been better off going to the local bar in Lourdes (appropriately
> named 'Crips') and gotten piss-ass drunk on Jameson and Guinness. While
> there she can consume as much pickled sausage as she can eat. Before the
> night's half way through, she be farting up a storm annd loving every
> minute of it. Your mom deserves a good time; take her to Lourdes.

Judith, sometimes when I think about laughing at the Lourdes section of my mother's photo album I feel bad about it. I never knew my mother for real. I mean, we never talked. Same with my father. I'm not crying about it, just saying I didn't know them and admit it, that as a kid I thought only of myself. I think most kids are that way. I hope I'm right. I came to realize later that my parents were only kids when they had me. I mean, in their 20s. I would cry to anyone who would listen about having to live in the projects with my crippled mother but must admit at the time that I never thought much about how she felt about it. She spent 7 years in the Allentown City Hospital in PA. Lupus, diabetes, all kinds of shit that came down on her suddenly in her early 20s. That's why I was sent to the orphanage. Then I finally get out - like getting out of prison - and now what? The projects? Never heard of the projects, but they were not what I was hoping for. Anyway, some of these older people, now that I'm older, I'd like to get to know them, talk to them adult to adult - get to know them as friends. All truth. Alas they are no longer alive, but soon I will be joining them.