Don't you hate it when

[Gus]

A shit gets stuck halfway... There has got to be a better, more efficient
way to crap. Maybe in the future, people won't shit and use toilet paper.
You never see them have to in Star Trek. Hell, they don't even seem to have
bathrooms in the future!

[Tommy Joe]

I agree. I love taking a good shit. Who doesn't? But when taking
a good shit becomes impossible, and I seem to be getting to that
stage, at that time I would prefer to have the shit extracted in some
other way. I'm not talking about a colostomy bag either. I'm talking
about a device that is used only when it's time to take a crap. It
might come out of the stomach or be fed down to the asshole through a
new cleaned out tube that goes straight from the throat to the
asshole, no twists, no turns, no obstructions, just one big 4 lane
highway where the traffic rolls clean and smooth and from entrance to
exit.

TJ

[b o z o]

All joking aside Gus I really don't know what your point here is other
than to essentially defecate a comment neutrally about yourself and
society as a human being responding to the call of nature versus the
fantasy that you actually believe you're that above it all and that
you should be accomplishing something far more important than just
taking a dump, am i on the beam here or what, Gus, I mean if you were
you Gus as an essential artist and didn't have to be 'bothered' didn't
taking a dump like everybody else cuz after all you have better things
to do with your precious time than just taking a dump since afterall
you're a 'writer' or a 'dreamer' or just an honest sociopath ripping
off the less enlightened and that being distracted and pausing from
your pursuits of zero productivity and having to plan and respond to
taking a dump is really REALLY beneath you and if you believe it then
the overall solution if you don't have to actually ever share a toilet
bowl or a bathroom and you are successfully unemployed and an
optimally unproductive member of society but you do have your very own
toilet bowl and bathroom and no other responsibilities other than to
just yourself and avoiding and eliminating all other possible
priorities and distractions other than the sublime solution of putting
off and delaying till the very last instant and only resorting to and
taking a dump only at the very very very VERY VERY last moment and
that you have no other alternatives or delays possible other than
perhaps absolutely refusing the call of nature and the inevitable
distraction for the sake of your art and enduring the ultimate penalty
of cleaning up a gawd awful big load of shit and laundry and a huge
mess that you could have easily otherwise avoided had you just not
otherwise been so ridiculously self absorbed, unproductive, and
emotionally disengaged with living a normal life, the end.

-bdn-

[Tommy Joe]

I read that out loud (not the whole thing - sorry), and when I
was done I was struck with the sudden urge to get a job as a court
bailiff whose job it is to announce not only the arrival of the judge
but a list of rules people must obey while in the courtroom. Your
masterpiece above is a combination of beat poet and lawyer, neither
knowing which way to go, the devil on one shoulder, an angel on the
other - a psycho mish-mosh of schizoid personalities at war with yet
unable to live without each other. Your brain is a war zone Bozo.

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

Too many commas man. Lighten up and let it flow why don't ya?

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Let it flow like they do in Chicago.

[Tommy Joe]

OllieNort wrote:




> Let it flow like they do in Chicago.

Can we get a report on your turds post-Chicago? I'm curious how
things are going on the turd front when you're not in Chicago.

TJ