Stuck in Hull

[Daniel Daly]

Chronicles of the
Infinite Realm of Majesty

Stuck in Hull

by
Daniel Thomas Andrew Daly
Copyright 6177 SC

Melaniel watched the fly climb slowly up the wall. It poked around for a bit and then took off again, and shortly disappeared out the window. She looked out after it and then returned her gaze to the wall. There WERE posters on it,at least. There WAS something to look at. But bugger all else. She sat there,bored. Finally she turned to the one way glass mirror on the opposite wall which she couldn't see through. 'I hope you are enjoying this,' she said out loud. 'It sure bores the fuck out of me,' she said under her breath.'
A voice came over an intercom. 'Remember, Melanie. We're not here. For the exercise you have to think you are alone.'
'Yeh, right. Whatever,' she said.

She looked around the room, and finally noticed the little box under the other lounge seat.
'She's noticed it,' a voice said in the control room.
'Get cameras on her face. We don't want to miss anything,' said the other.

As the hidden ones watched, Melanie B got down on her knees, retrieved the tin box and looked at it. There was a lock on it. A combination lock of 3 digits.
'For fuck's sake,' she said swearing, but starting at 000 she worked through her numbers only to screech 'Bastards' as the number 986 finally undid the lock.
She glared at the one way mirror. Inside David almost smiled.
'She's cute when she's angry,' said Daniel.
David nodded in agreement.

The box open she found the note. 376 x 123,489 - 456,722 =

She glared at the mirror again. She hated maths questions.

But as she worked it out slowly she came to 45,975,142, and typed that into the pad against the locked door. She hit the accept button and, watching nervously, the door bolted open.
'Alleluia,' she said. 'At fucking last.' She walked through and the door quickly closed behind her. In the new room, much the same again, but a toilet in a small cubicle with a shower and soap, and a tiny kitchenette with a fridge. She quickly looked inside. 17 Mars bars, a pint of fresh milk, and one egg and lettuce sandwich. She poured herself a glass of water and sat down eating the sandwich. Then she looked at the bookcase and noted the various items and looked at the small mattress on the floor. There was a light sheet and one pillow. But it was warm enough inside, so she would be fine. And then she looked at the other door and noticed the same electronic lock, and started figuring this was probably how the rest of the challenge would go. And, of course, Daniel and David would be behind the mirror in this room also.
'How many rooms?' she asked the mirror, munching on her sandwich.

'We can't really tell her that,' said Daniel to David.
'But we don't want to piss her off. It doesn't have to be 100% lifelike. Its only research for a videogame in the end. We can give her a break,' said David.
'Fine. Ok,' said Daniel.
David's voice came over the intercom. 'There are12. But we shouldn't have told you that.'
'Right,' said Melanie to herself, and summed up the challenge. 12 rooms, probably all the same size, and an increasing challenge to crack the number code each time. Still, for the sake of 'UK state of mind', someone had to do it.

* * * * *

Room 5. Melanie was stumped. It had taken two days to work out room two, a whole week for room three, and 17 days for room four. She had been in room 5 for a full month and no solution, and her supplies in this room were starting to run low. And the sign on the wall reading 'It's obvious' was really starting to piss her off. She had insulted the mirror more than once because of it.
Finally she caved. She looked into the mirror and asked, 'What is so obvious, then?'
The intercom came on and a voice said, 'That you're stupid.'
She glared at the mirror, but kept her tongue for once.
'That wasn't very nice, Daniel,' said David in the control room.
'She's thick as a brick. This is one of the easier ones.'
'She just hasn't worked it out yet,' said David. He spoke into the intercom. 'It's a lot easier than you think, Mel. Keep this one simple.'
'Easy for you to say,' said Melanie, and hooked into a Mars bar.

She sat on the couch, looking around the room. 'What is so obvious then?' she asked herself. Three bookcases, no clues on any book pages. A desk with their notes. A computer with Microsoft on it but one file which reads 'try again'. And an assortment of knick knacks. But no bloody clues. I mean, why is room number five so obvious?' she asked herself.
A thought suddenly struck her. Obvious about room 5. No it couldn't be that simple.
She stood, walked to the number panel, shrugged, typed in the number 5 and hit the button. And the door jolted open. She smiled, but before she left the room she walked over to the mirror, said, 'bastards,' and went on to the next challenge.
'She's worked it out at last!' exclaimed Daniel.
'See, she's not that stupid,' responded David smiling.
'We'll see,' said Daniel. 'Let's see if she can work out room six.'
'Yes, let's,' said David, as they slid their seats down the control desk to the next room's viewing mirror.

* * * * *

'Room nine and doing fine,' she said to herself. 5 months of crypticity and intense logic and Melanie Janine Mandela Brown was a new woman. But how long she would be stuck in Hull in this conundrum of a maze yet she did not know. Still, she was stronger and harder for the experience so far and would not quit. No way would she ever, now, press the big red 'Escape' button on each room's wall. No way.

'Are you enjoying yourself?' asked a voice over the intercom. 'You don't look like you have bothered with anything yet?'
Melanie ignored the voice and continued watching 'Spiceworld 7' on the DVD player. All 25 were on the rack.
'I'll get to it,' she finally replied.

In the control room, David turned to Daniel. 'You think she really will watch all 25 of them?'
'Instinctive, I'd say. She must know.'

A few days later, putting in the final disc and settling down for the girls ultimate adventure, the disc simply failed to show any screen. She cleaned the disc, but nothing.
'Bastards,' she yelled at the mirror. Daniel and David were used to that. And then she looked more carefully at what she thought was the clock on the top left of the screen, and noticed it was in fact just a number. She read it to herself, typed it into the keypad, pressed the button, and the door yet again jolted open. She went to the mirror, smiled, shook her head and was just about to speak when Daniel's voice came over the intercom, saying, 'Don't say it. We know. Bastards.'
'Exactly,' said Melanie B, and hopped off to room nine.

'She might even make it,' said David.
'Room 12 will get her. She is only a Spice Girl,' said Daniel.
'You really are a bastard, aren't you,' said David.
'Exactly,' responded Daniel, grinning madly.

* * * * *

1 year nearly up, and she didn't have much time left, for that was the maximun duration of the challenge. And as she finally exited room 11 in triumph, she looked at the clock. 2 hours to midnight. The last day.
'You haven't a hope,' said Daniel over the intercom.'
The room was full of thousands of books, and a few other minor items. She took a coke from the new fridge, collapsed on the bed and gazed at the room. It had been a valiant effort, but she couldn't possibly hope to win now. They had bested her. She laid there, almost sobbing. All that work. All that struggle. To fall just short, after all that effort. Life really was ironic. Thanks Alanis Morrisette. She looked up at the ceiling, cried out 'give me a break,' and turned over sobbing.

Nearly two hours later she was quiet. Humbled. She had come so far, only to fall just short. How bloody ironic. She looked at the clock. 10 minutes to go. She would have to put on a brave face.

She sat up, looked around the room one last time, and then gave up, sitting their glumly. What else could she do.

And then, a quiet little voice, whispered into the back of her mind, 'Try the scroll.' Another voice responded to the first one, though, and said, 'Don't bloody tell her, ok. Cheat.'
Reluctantly Melanie got to her feet, retrieved the one and only scroll from the bookcase, and unrolling it read, 'Beginning of beginnings, the start of an endless journey. The answer you seek is on the first day you were born.'

Melanie cogitated.

'Try your birthdate, dimwit,' a voice said over the intercom.
She got up quickly, punched in her birthdate and started hearing the chimes from the grandfather clock start chiming to 12.
'Shit,' she said, as she had entered the wrong date.
'Come on Melanie. You can do this,' she said, calming herself down. And as she correctly entered her birthdate and hit the button, the door jolted open and she burst through just before the 12th chime.

All of a sudden a huge bang and rushing into the room came Geri, Melanie C, Victoria and Emma and many other familiar faces, all crashing into her, clapping her and patting her on the back. And 'Wannabe' started playing, and party food was brought out.

And, finally, Daniel and David appeared, and David smiled at her, 'Brilliant, Melanie Brown,' he said, and she hugged him. But Daniel looked at her and said, 'You just got lucky, kid.'
Melanie stared at her adversary, took David by the arm and flirted back to Daniel, saying, 'Unlike YOU tonight, KID!'
And she laughed madly, escaping away with her night's lover, leaving a mad Daniel grinning and shaking his head, saying, 'Bastard.'

And then Geri grabbed him, gave him a kiss, and said 'Come on lover. I'll give you a break,' and the following year UK State of Mind was a smash hit all summer long.

The End




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