FIRST RESURRECTION SINCE 33 A.D.

[Ed. Conrad]

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SHENANDOAH, Pa. (Rueters) -- Elvis
Presley apparently is still alive and well
and living in a small Pennsylvania coal
mining town.
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There were several reports he was seen
this morning -- once gassing up his '77
pink Cadillac coupe at Valero's U-Pump-It,
15 minutes later at the local Redner's
Supermarket buying bananas and bacon
(apparently to make his favorite sandwich)
and, a bit later, mailing a Special Delivery
letter at the local Post Office on North
White Street.
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"It wasn't a bird. It wasn't a plane. It
was a freakin' miracle," said a witness,
a woman in her late 70s, who said she
would know Elvis anywhere.
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"Actually, he looked pretty good
for someone nearing 80," she added.
"But, then again, I always did think
he was kinda cute."
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The woman said the Elvis she saw
wasn't carrying a guitar but did seem
to be humming or mumbling some sort
of tune.
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RECENT AERIAL PHOTO OF SHENANDOAH, PA.
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http://www.rainfall.com/posters/imagesZoom/mapspanoramic/pm008490.jpg
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A local minister, mowing the lawn
outside the rectory, told Sean "Ins"
Hannity of Fox News that he strongly
doubts there's a connection with Elvis'
sighting and the fact that he appeared
on Good Friday.
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"The timing was way off for this to be
true," he explained. "If there was a
connection, Elvis would have been
resurrected on Easter Sunday, so
that prognosis isn't worth crap."
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Elvis reportedly died at age 42 back
on Aug. 16, 1977 -- a Tuesday -- when
he fell off a commode and apparently
fractured his skull.
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An attempt was made to contact
The Vatican for a comment about
this great story but everyone was in
the Sistine Chapel for services.
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MIRACLES DO HAPPEN
http://www.edconrad.org
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SO DO CONSPIRACIES AGAINST TRUTH
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/522305f02e955b66
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http://www.edconrad.com
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"We can forgive a child who is afraid
of the dark. The real tragedy of life
is when men are afraid of the light."
< -- Plato
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"You're not only fighting The man
in the ring, Ed. You're also fighting
the referee and the three judges."
< -- Clayton Lennon
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