Main Khyal Hoon - Translation needed

delta...@gmail.com

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Apr 21, 2008, 1:02:52 AM4/21/08

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Hi all,

Would someone be kind enough to translate the following ghazal to
English please?

Mein Khayal Hoon Kisi Aur Ka Mujhe Sochta Koi Aur Hai
Sar-E-Aeenah Mera Aks Hai Pas-E-Aeenah Koi Aur Hai

Mein Kisi Keh Dast-E-Talab Mein Hoon To Kisi Keh Harf-E-Dua Mein Hoon
Mein Naseeb Hoon Kisi Aur Ka Mejhe Maangta Koi Aur Hai

Ajab Aitabar-O-Bey Aitabaree Keh Darmayan Hai Zindagi
Mein Qareeb Hoon Kisi Aur Keh Mujhe Jaanta Koi Aur Hai

Mujhe Doston Ka Pata Nahin Mujhey Dushmanon Ki Khabar Nahin
Meri Daastan Koi Aur Thi Mera Waaqaya Koi Aur Hai

Jo Milen Kabhi Unhen Poochna Dekhna Unhen Ghaur Sey
Jinhen Raastey Mein Khabar Hui Keh Yeh Raasta Koi Aur Hai

Jo Meri Reyazat-E-Neem Shab Ko Saleem Subh Na Mil Saki
To Is Key Mani To Yeh Hue Keh Yahan Khuda Koi Aur Hai

Much obliged,

A, Khalidi

delta...@gmail.com

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Apr 24, 2008, 6:43:05 AM4/24/08

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Even the simplest literal prose outline encouraged and most welcome.

Naseer

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Apr 24, 2008, 5:07:58 PM4/24/08

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janaab-i-Khalidi Sahib, aadaab 'arz hai.

As you know it is not always easy to translate poetry. Translation is
an art in itself. Since you are insisting, here is a crude attempt.
Here and there I am employing a bit of padding!

> Mein Khayal Hoon Kisi Aur Ka Mujhe Sochta Koi Aur Hai
> Sar-E-Aeenah Mera Aks Hai Pas-E-Aeenah Koi Aur Hai

I dwell in the imagination of one while another keeps me in his
thoughts
I am only an image in the mirror, behind the mirror is someone else

> Mein Kisi Keh Dast-E-Talab Mein Hoon To Kisi Keh Harf-E-Dua Mein Hoon
> Mein Naseeb Hoon Kisi Aur Ka Mejhe Maangta Koi Aur Hai

I am (easily) attained by one yet am in another's words of prayer
I have become the destiny of one while another begs for me

> Ajab Aitabar-O-Bey Aitabaree Ke Darmayan Hai Zindagi

> Mein Qareeb Hoon Kisi Aur Keh Mujhe Jaanta Koi Aur Hai

Life seems to straddle between a certain belief and disbelief
I am intimate with one but another actually knows (understands) me

> Mujhe Doston Ka Pata Nahin Mujhey Dushmanon Ki Khabar Nahin
> Meri Daastan Koi Aur Thi Mera Waaqaya Koi Aur Hai

I don't know who my friends are, I am not aware of my foes
My tale was something else, my episode is something else

> Jo Milen Kabhi Unhen Poochna nahiiN Dekhna Unhen Ghaur Sey

> Jinhen Raastey Mein Khabar Hui Keh Yeh Raasta Koi Aur Hai

When you meet him (them) do not question, just look at him attentively
The one who discovered along the way that this path is another path

> Jo Meri Reyazat-E-Neem Shab Ko Saleem Subh Na Mil Saki
> To Is Key Mani To Yeh Hue Keh Yahan Khuda Koi Aur Hai

When my mid-night devotion could not attain the morning*, Saliim
What does this mean except that here there is another God

* i.e when my prayers came to nothing...

(Saleem Kausar)

KHair-KHvaah,
Naseer

Kali Hawa

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Apr 25, 2008, 2:13:34 AM4/25/08

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Very well done Naseer Sahib, just one thought though

> > Mein Khayal Hoon Kisi Aur Ka Mujhe Sochta Koi Aur Hai
> > Sar-E-Aeenah Mera Aks Hai Pas-E-Aeenah Koi Aur Hai
>
> I dwell in the imagination of one while another keeps me in his
> thoughts

I would substitute 'wish' for 'imagination' and 'desire' for 'thought

delta...@gmail.com

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Apr 25, 2008, 10:22:09 AM4/25/08

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Salaam Naseer saheb, aadaab 'arz hai

Thanks so much for this wonderful, 'rawaan' translation.

amma...@gmail.com

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Dec 12, 2018, 2:26:36 PM12/12/18

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I completely disagree with Kali Hawa. "imagination" and "thoughts" are completely fine, and a fluent speaker of English would understand the subtle nuances.

Vijay Kumar

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Dec 18, 2018, 2:29:19 AM12/18/18

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It is fascinating to see old threads come alive belatedly, possibly as someone new is scanning some old posts and raises a question or make a comment.

Anyway, in this Ghazal under discussion, there is one she'r which I remember different (a crucial difference in my opinion). The following she'r:

> Mujhe Doston Ka Pata Nahin Mujhey Dushmanon Ki Khabar Nahin
> Meri Daastan Koi Aur Thi Mera Waaqaya Koi Aur Hai

I rememebr it as:

> *tujhe* Doston Ka Pata Nahin Mujhey Dushmanon Ki Khabar Nahin
> *teri* Daastan Koi Aur Thi Mera Waaqaya Koi Aur Hai

Vijay

Raj Kumar

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Dec 18, 2018, 4:38:48 PM12/18/18

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> > *tujhe* Doston Ka Pata Nahin, Mujhey Dushmanon Ki Khabar Nahin
> > *teri* Daastan Koi Aur Thi, Mera Waaqaya Koi Aur Hai
>
> Vijay

----------

***janaab Vijay sahib:

maiN is she’r se ba-raah-e-raast vaaqif to nahiiN huuN, albatta itna zaruur kah sakta huuN k jo suurat is she’r ki aap ne pesh kii hai, voh kaheeN ziyaada pur-ma’ani hai!

is zimn meN, aap Firaq G. ka yeh she’r dekhiiye (mazmuun go k digar hai):

mujhe manzileN bhii haiN rah-guzar, tujhe rah-guzaar bhi manzileN
yihii farq hai, mire ham-safar, yeh miraa chalan, voh tiraa chalan!

du’aa-go, Raj Kumar***

Vijay Kumar

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Dec 18, 2018, 10:16:25 PM12/18/18

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Raj sahib, mera haafiza bhii mujhe zara sa dhoka de gaya; maiN ne Rakhta se tasdiiq kii to yeh she'r thoRi aur tarmiim ka talab-gaar hai. is se do misroN meN jo *present vs past tense* ka ibham hai vo duur ho jaata hai, aur she'r ke ma'ani aur bhii nikhar aate haiN. to sahii she'r kucch yuuN hai:

tujhe dushmnoN kii Khabar na thii, mujhe dostoN ka pata nahiiN
terii daastaaN koii aur thii, mera waaq'iya koii aur hai!

aur jo aap ne firaaq ka she'r pesh kiya hai, voh saaloN se mera pasaNdiida she'r raha hai. she'r har lihaaz se awwal darje ka hai lekin jo baat mujhe Khasuusi taur pe pasaNd hai voh hai 'chalan' lafz ka istemaal. maiN ne ise hameshaa hii se do ma'anoN meN liya hai. One in the literal meaning of 'walking, travelling' etc. and second the more figurative sense of 'character' of someone. And the she'r works so beautifully with both these two connotations. You think the second meaning of the word is correct?

I will get to your Ghazal soon. Hopefully BGM sahib and Anil saahib will beat me to it:-)

Regards,

Vijay

Raj Kumar

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Dec 19, 2018, 11:30:34 PM12/19/18

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On Tuesday, December 18, 2018 at 7:16:25 PM UTC-8, Vijay Kumar wrote:

aur jo aap ne firaaq ka she'r pesh kiya hai, voh saaloN se mera pasaNdiida she'r raha hai.

***aur maze ki baat to yeh hai k yeh she’r aap ne pahli baar Khaaksaar hi ki aek ‘post’ meN paRhaa tha --- aur voh ‘post’ April 2014 ki thi!*** ☺

she'r har lihaaz se awwal darje ka hai lekin jo baat mujhe Khasuusi taur pe pasaNd hai voh hai 'chalan' lafz ka istemaal. maiN ne ise hameshaa hii se do ma'anoN meN liya hai. One in the literal meaning of 'walking, travelling' etc. and second the more figurative sense of 'character' of someone. And the she'r works so beautifully with both these two connotations. You think the second meaning of the word is correct?

***The second meaning of the word ‘chalan’ that you have mentioned is definitely correct. Platts includes these meanings ------- manner of life, conduct, behavior, habit, etc.
And the compound word ‘chaal-chalan’ has only this meaning, not the first one.

In fact, one can find several examples where the word ‘chalan’ has been used in the sense we are talking here. I’ll quote just one line from the poem “zabaan-e-Hind hai Urdu” by Manzar Bhopali:

agar tum Raam ho to phir yeh Raavan kaa chalan kyuuN hai?

I hope this helps.***

I will get to your Ghazal soon. Hopefully BGM sahib and Anil saahib will beat me to it:-)

***mere ilaava, meri Ghazal bhi aap ki nig’h-e-duur-beeN ki muntazir rahe gi.

du’aa-go, Raj Kumar***

vanisha...@gmail.com

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Jun 3, 2019, 4:56:28 AM6/3/19

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Main khayal hun kisi aur ka mujhe sochta koi aur hai, iski gehrai se wabasta karayen mujhe aap.

Anil Kala

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Jun 3, 2019, 11:57:06 AM6/3/19

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On Monday, June 3, 2019 at 2:26:28 PM UTC+5:30, vanisha...@gmail.com wrote:
> Main khayal hun kisi aur ka mujhe sochta koi aur hai, iski gehrai se wabasta karayen mujhe aap.

One way to look at it is ...

My persona is work of others , chiefly my family, teachers etc , I am judged by others for what I am. I keep a facade for the benefit of them within I am something possibly even I don't know!