Wasim Barelvi?
Rahul 'Agyat'
wasim barelvi mere manpasand shayaro'n mein se ek hain..par koi kitaab
kabhi haasil nahi hui..taras taras ke padhne ko mile hai'n..
agar aap mein se kinhi'n ke paas unke ashaar ho'n to meri guzaarish
hai ki post karne ki meharbaaani karein..main bahut shukrguzaar
ho'oonga!
ek sher..aur ijaazat...
aandhiyo'n mein jo shajar phalta gaya, badhta raha
ek jhonka thaa ki sab patte chura ke le gaya!
Rahul 'Agyat'
Vasmi Abidi
www.urdupoetry.com/wbarelvi.html
Here's another Ghazal by Waseem Barelvi:
zindagee tujh pe ab ilzaam koi kyaa rakhe
apna ehsaas hi aisaa hai jo tanhaa rakhe
kin shikastoN ke shab.o.roz se guzra hoga
vo musavvir jo har ik naqsh adhoora rakhe
KHushk mittee hi ne jab paaoN jamaane na diye
bahte dariyaa se phir ummeed koi kyaa rakhe
Aa! gham.e.dost isi moR pe ho jaaoN judaa
jo mujhe mera hi rahne de, na teraa rakhe
aarzoo-oN ke bahut khwaab to dekho ho Waseem
jaane kis haal meN bedard zamaana rakhe
===
Rahul 'Agyat'
kya baat hai..
is khoobsoorat ghazal ke liye shukriya...
aur yaqeen maaniye..jitni baar wasim ji ko padhta hoo'n utna hi unke
naam ke saath rishta gehra hota chala jaata hai...urdupoetry ki sabhi
ghazals main padh chua hoon aur mere paas printed padi hain...unki koi
qitaab bhi to nahi'n milti..agar aap ke zahan mein koi ho to
bataayi~ega..ek baar phir se aap kaa shukrguzaar hoo'n...
ek sher aur ijaazat...
har qadam par ye khata karte rahe
jo kiya bas inteha karte rahe
'Agyat'
Vasmi Abidi <vab...@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:<3C8DA370...@yahoo.com>...
Zoya
> naam ke saath rishta gehra hota chala jaata hai...urdupoetry ki sabhi
> ghazals main padh chua hoon aur mere paas printed padi hain...unki koi
> qitaab bhi to nahi'n milti..agar aap ke zahan mein koi ho to
> bataayi~ega..ek baar phir se aap kaa shukrguzaar hoo'n...
>
> ek sher aur ijaazat...
>
> har qadam par ye khata karte rahe
> jo kiya bas inteha karte rahe
>
> 'Agyat'
Rahul ji,
piChhle saal merii mulaaqaat Wasim Barelvi Sahib se huii thii. bahut
aChhe insaan bhii hai.N. woh hamaare saath lunch par bhii jaane waale
the, magar hamei.N tho.Dii der ho gayii aur phir un_kaa jume kii
namaaz kaa vaqt ho gayaa, aur voh jaa nahii.N paaye. mere paas un_kii
kitaab to nahii.N, un_kii apanii awaaz mei.N recorded ek audio
cassette zuruur hai, par us_kii recording itanii clear nahii.N hai.
phir kabhii fursat mei.N aap ke liye unkaa aur kalaam post karuu.Ngii,
aaj mere pasa.Ndiidah unke kuChh ashaar peshe-e-Khidmat hai.N:
terii aarzuu bahut hai, teraa intezaar kam hai
yeh voh haadsaa hai jis par meraa iKhteyaar kam hai
is zamaane kaa ba.Daa kaise banuu.N
itnaa ChhoTaa_pan mere bas mei.N nahii.N!
pata.Ng jaisaa yeh u.Dnaa bhii koii u.Dnaa hai
ke u.D rahe hai.N, magar duusro.N ke haath mei.N hai.N!
mai.N jin dino.N tere baare mei.N sochtaa huu.N bahut
unhii.N dino.N to yeh duniyaa samajh mei.N aatii hai
gham byaa.N karne kaa koii aur Dha.Ng iijaad kar
terii aa.Nkho.N kaa yeh paanii to puraanaa ho gayaa!
I got to go now, aur phir kabhii sahii,
Take care,
______________Zoya
UVR
>
> [...Wasim Barelvi...]
>
> pata.Ng jaisaa yeh u.Dnaa bhii koii u.Dnaa hai
> ke u.D rahe hai.N, magar duusro.N ke haath mei.N hai.N!
*Very nice*, indeed. is baat pe mujhe ek aur sh'er yaad
aa gaya. yeh janaab Wasim Barelvi kaa to nahiN, ek aur
"pahuNche hue" ;-)) shaa'ir "Khursheed Dehlvi" kaa hai --
ijaazat ho to sunaataa chalooN :)) --
maiN maantaa hooN tez hai tuufaan-e-duniyaa bhii, magar
be_jaan-saa kaaGhaz kaa maiN uRtaa huaa TukRaa nahiiN!
mere Khayaal se "waaqeaati" shaa'iri ke fan, Shrii 'Zaf'-ji :)
ko yeh sh'er (Ghaaliban) pasand aa jaayegaa.
UVR.
Rahul 'Agyat'
aapne itnizehmat uthaai meri mail ke jawab mein...aur itne khoobsoorat
ashaa'ro'n ke liye....mujhe intezaar rahega wasim sahab ki shayari
kaa...aur umeed bhi hai aur ilteza bhi karta hoo'n ki is ko jald lald
karne ki koshish keejiyega...
mausam pe ek sher kahne ki ijaazat chahata hoo'n(patjhad pe)..
zamee'n ko gila hai ki uspe aur ik patta gira
kisko fursat hai vo dekhe bheegtee chashm-e-shajar
shukriya..
UVR
>
> mausam pe ek sher kahne ki ijaazat chahata hoo'n(patjhad pe)..
>
> zamee'n ko gila hai ki uspe aur ik patta gira
> kisko fursat hai vo dekhe bheegtee chashm-e-shajar
Agyat-ji,
bahut Khoobsoorat Khayaal hai "kis ko fursat hai vo dekhe
bheegtii chashm-e-shajar". albattah, agar gustaaKhii m'aaf
ho to arz karnaa chaahtaa hooN k is sh'er ke donoN misr'e
bar-wazn nahiiN ma'aloom hote. shaayad sh'er 'type' karte
waqt kuchh Ghalati ho gayi ho? ise dekh leN. shukriya.
-UVR.
Rahul 'Agyat'
ghalati batane ke liye shukriya..main batana chahoonga ki shayari mein
main kuch naya hoo'n..mera vaasta theatre ke saath raha hai..isliye
aage se bhee aap kahee'n kuch ghaltiyaa'n dekhe'n to fauran aur
bejhijhak mujhe batayiye..aap jaisi shakhsiyato'n ke salah aur rahbari
ke liye hi main is discussion forum par aaya hoo'n ek baar phir se aap
kaa shukriya...
jahan tak sher kaa sawal hai...maine 'vo' ki jagah 'ki' kar diya
hai...aur ab maatrao'n ki jo ginti ban rahi hai...
zamee'n ko gila hai ki uspe aur ik patta gira = 27
kisko fursat hai ki dekhe bheegtee chashm-e-shajar =27
mere khayal mein sahi ho gaya hai..par jab tak aap nahi'n batayenge
shayad main is ke baare mein koi paakki rai kaayam naa kar sakoo'n...
muntzir
Agyat
UVR
>
> aap jaisi shakhsiyato'n ke salah aur rahbari ke liye hi main
> is discussion forum par aaya hoo'n ek baar phir se aap kaa shukriya...
Agyat-ji,
lagtaa hai aap mujhe koi "pahuNchaa huaa" shaa'ir samajh baiThe
haiN. yaqeen jaaniye, aisaa kuchh nahiN hai. haaN, yeh zaroor
ho saktaa hai k aap agar Class 1 ke student haiN to maiN Class 3
kaa :)) waise bhi, meri shaa'iri sirf 'shauq' aazmaa lene tak
"seemit" hai.
> jahan tak sher kaa sawal hai...maine 'vo' ki jagah 'ki' kar diya
> hai...aur ab maatrao'n ki jo ginti ban rahi hai...
>
> zamee'n ko gila hai ki uspe aur ik patta gira = 27
> kisko fursat hai ki dekhe bheegtee chashm-e-shajar =27
>
> mere khayal mein sahi ho gaya hai..
m'aaf kareN, mujhe to yeh misre ab bhi bar-wazn nahiN lagte.
awwal to yeh mushkil darpesh hai k misr'a #2 meiN mujhe 27
nahiN __26__ maatraayeN nazar aati haiN. na jaane maiN ek
maatra na jaane kahaaN "khaaye" jaa rahaa hooN. But the
length of your misr'as is not the _real_ cause of my comment.
pehle misr'e meiN "maatraayeN" agarche dabo-sikoR kar 26 ginii
jaa saktii hai, unki DISTRIBUTION misra #2 kii maatraaoN ke
distribution se alag hai. Khair, yeh to shaayad aap ne bhi
dekh hi liyaa hogaa, but it is this that was the cause of my
discomfort.
jahaaN tak meraa Khayaal hai, Urdu shaa'iri meiN "maatraaoN"
kaa chaal-chalan Hindi+Sanskrit kavitaaoN se kuchh alag hotaa
hai. yahaaN syllables [maatraaoN] kaa na sirf "TOTAL" ek honaa
zaroori hai, balke it is also of the utmost essence that their
DISTRIBUTION be "same-to-same" in both the misr'a-s of a sh'er,
and througout a Ghazal or nazm. Yes, there do appear to be a
few minor exceptions (but we need not worry about them at this
moment).
I have never had the good fortune of being in the shaagirdi
of a knowledgeable shaa'ir, never had a physical 'guru' or
'ustad', like you do, so please confirm with your ustaad-ji
that what I am saying is correct. Perhaps other learned ALUPers
will also step forward to clarify the matter. Also, you may be
benefitted by the following article on "behr" by Irfan 'Abid'
[who also posts on ALUP from time to time] at:
http://www.urdupoetry.com/articles/art5.html
While I must admit that I have not been patient enough to
read it through to the very end, from what I have read of
this article, it has shown itself to be quite a scholarly
treatise, and may be of use to you.
fqt,
UVR.
Rahul 'Agyat'
AApka bahut bahut shukriya....aap yaqeen maaniye maine bahar ke baare
mein (urdu ki baat kar raha hoon) itni gahrai se nahee'n socha
thaa..aap ko bataya to hai ki kuch naya hoo'n....
main aap ki rythm waali baat samajh gaya hoo'n..bas ek baat poochna
chahata hoo'n ki kya yeh tai hi hai ki un rules par chal kar hi
likhein?...yaani..mera maqsad shayari se dil ko bahlana nahi'n
hota...main hamesha phalsafe likha karta hoo'n jaisa ki aap ko mere
sher se pata chal gaya hoga..aur mere sabhee sher aise hee hain...main
guzaarish karoongaa ki aap is maamle mein mujhe uchit marg-darshan
dein..kahee'n aisa naa ho ki main likhtaa bhee rahoo'n aur jo bhee
likhoo'n vo kuch aukaat naa rakhta ho..yaani vo technically "fussss"
ho jaaye!!:)
main shayari ke baare mein bahut serious hoo'n aur kyonki naya hoo'n
isliye main kaafi mehanat kar raha hoon ise seekhne ke liye...aapki
guidance jitni bhee aap de sakein..main aap kaa behad shukrguzaar
rahoonga..aur aapko bharosa dilaata hoo'n ki main ek bahut achcha
shagird hoo'n!!!!
maine usmein kuch changes kiye hain..frankly mujhe ab yeh sher itnaa
khoobsoorat nahi'n lag raha hai...kyonki ab dil ki baat ko dimaag se
likh raha hoon( pahle dil se likha thaa)....
hain zamee.N kaa ranj patte, bikhre se zard patte 26
13 13
fursat kise hai dekhe, bheegee shajar kee aankhei.N 26
13 13
main aap kee salah kaa bahut besabri se intezaar kar raha hoo'n
Agyat
u...@usa.net (UVR) wrote in message news:<9c085b63.02031...@posting.google.com>...
UVR
aap ke Khat kaa shukriyaa.
rahu...@rediffmail.com (Rahul 'Agyat') wrote:
>
> main aap ki rythm waali baat samajh gaya hoo'n..bas ek baat poochna
> chahata hoo'n ki kya yeh tai hi hai ki un rules par chal kar hi
> likhein?
Yes, and No. AFAIK, agar ham "metric" poetry likhnaa chaahte haiN,
to in "rules" par chalnaa zaroori hai. Of course, aap chaaheN to
non-metered poetry [a.k.a "aazaad nazm"] likh sakte haiN; yeh shae
behr, wazan, radeef aur qaafiye jaise "fizool" ke usooloN se nijaat
paa chukii hai. albattah, jahaaN tak mujhe ma'aloom hai, aazaad nazm
meiN "sh'er" jaisii koii cheez nahiiN hotii. misre hi misre hote
haiN, yaa phir, Ghaaliban, band.
I *really* wish someone more knowledgeable than me in these matters
would step forward and answer your questions here. [In alphabetical
order] saahebaan-e-Irfan 'Abid', Raj Kumar, Sarwar Raz, Zafar ...
HELP!
> main shayari ke baare mein bahut serious hoo'n aur kyonki naya hoo'n
> isliye main kaafi mehanat kar raha hoon ise seekhne ke liye...aapki
> guidance jitni bhee aap de sakein..main aap kaa behad shukrguzaar
> rahoonga..aur aapko bharosa dilaata hoo'n ki main ek bahut achcha
> shagird hoo'n!!!!
kyoN mujh naacheez ko naa_haq sharminda karte haiN aap? I am
not qualified to be your [or anyone else's, for that matter]
ustaad. aur phir aap ke to masha_Allah apne ustaad bhii haiN!
Believe me, you are very fortunate in that respect. aap se
maiN yahii kah saktaa hooN k unki rahnumaa`ii se zyaada se
zyaada istefaadah karne kii koshish kareN!
> maine usmein kuch changes kiye hain..frankly mujhe ab yeh sher itnaa
> khoobsoorat nahi'n lag raha hai...kyonki ab dil ki baat ko dimaag se
> likh raha hoon( pahle dil se likha thaa)....
>
> hain zamee.N kaa ranj patte, bikhre se zard patte 26
> 13 13
> fursat kise hai dekhe, bheegee shajar kee aankhei.N 26
> 13 13
> main aap kee salah kaa bahut besabri se intezaar kar raha hoo'n
maiN aap se sau fee-sadi muttafiq hooN k is "dimaaGhii sh'er"
meiN woh "zor" nahiiN jo aap ke "dil se" likhe hue misroN
meiN thaa. Sorry for being so blunt, but that's how I feel.
UVR.
Rahul 'Agyat'
chalo aap ne meri ek baat to prove kar di ki mere doosre sher mein 'vo
baat' nahi'n hai..aur mujhe yeh baat sun kar behad itminan hua...main
dil se hi likhna chahata hoo'n...par haa'n ab main koshish karoonga ki
main bahar ko follow kar ke likhoo'n...jaha'n tak mere ustad ji ki
baat hai..unho'n ne kabhi itni strictly mujhe bahar follow karne ke
liye nahi'n kaha..vo phalsafa dekhte the aur yeh ki padhne mein koi
uktaahat to paida nahi'n hoti...shayad isiliye main yeh cheez seekh
nahin paaya..par umeed karta hoo'n ki aap sab ki rahnumaaee mein kuch
seekh paaoonga...
jaha'n tak aazad nazm kee baat hai...UVR sahab main dono'nmein fark
samajhtaa hoo'n....main apni ek nazm bhej raha hoo'n....islaah ka
intezaar rahega...
BAADAL
------
kaali chadar odh ke too jab
aahei'n bhar bhar rota hai
main tujh ko ai baadal! tab tab
dekh ke sochaa karta hoo'n
ki yeh duniya vaale phir kyo'n
"saawan! saawan!" shor macha ke
apni apni hasrat mein
khwabo'n ko jeene lagte hain
par main tujh ko samajh raha hoon
jaan raha hoon teri is hasti ke dukh ko
main bhee kuch aise mausam mein
apni nam si aankhein lekar
andhero'n mein kho jaane ko chal padta hoon........
aapka 'shagird'
Agyat
razak...@gmail.com
Ye kaise faasle the jo badhne se kam huwe!
Wasim barelvi