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Poem on Empress Noorjahan
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il_...@yahoo.com
Aug 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/28/98
to
Years ago, I had come across a poem in an old Urdu journal
(about 1918 vintage) which had the title "Noorjahan ke
Mazaar par". At that time, I had copied the poem and kept it
in my personal collection. Years have passed and I have lost
it somewhere. Do any of our friends have this poem, and if so,
can they post it in this Newsgroup ? I can only add that it
was a beautiful---and pretty long---poem, dilating on the theme
of the ephemeral nature of worldly renown.
Afzal
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Raj Kumar Pathria
Aug 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/28/98
to il_...@yahoo.com
il_...@yahoo.com wrote:
>
> Years ago, I had come across a poem in an old Urdu journal
> (about 1918 vintage) which had the title "Noorjahan ke
> Mazaar par". At that time, I had copied the poem and kept it
> in my personal collection. Years have passed and I have lost
> it somewhere. Do any of our friends have this poem, and if so,
> can they post it in this Newsgroup ? I can only add that it
> was a beautiful---and pretty long---poem, dilating on the theme
> of the ephemeral nature of worldly renown.
>
> Afzal
>
> Years ago, I had come across a poem in an old Urdu journal
> (about 1918 vintage) which had the title "Noorjahan ke
> Mazaar par". At that time, I had copied the poem and kept it
> in my personal collection. Years have passed and I have lost
> it somewhere. Do any of our friends have this poem, and if so,
> can they post it in this Newsgroup ? I can only add that it
> was a beautiful---and pretty long---poem, dilating on the theme
> of the ephemeral nature of worldly renown.
>
> Afzal
Janab Afzal Sahib:
The beautiful poem that you have referred to was written by Munshi Tilok
Chand Mehroom (father of Prof. Jagan Nath Azad). I first read this poem
in our matriculation text 'Sarmaaya-e-Adab', edited by Haafiz Mehmood
Sheeraani (father of the famous poet Akhtar Sheeraani). This poem is
definitely included in one of Mehroom's books --- very likely, in
"Ganj-e-m'aani'. I don't have any resources at hand from where I could
extract this poem for you; I will, however, reproduce for your (and
other ALUPers' enjoyment) certain portions of that poem from memory:
din ko bhi yahaan shab ki siyaahi ka samaan hai
kehte hain yeh aaraam-gah-e-Noor-e-Jahaan hai
muddat hui woh shama' tah-e-khaak nihaan hai
uthta magar ab tak sar-e-marqad se dhu'aan hai
jalwon se ayaan jin ke hua toor ka aalam
turbat pe hai un ki shab-e-deejoor ka aalam
tujh si malika ke liye yeh baara-dari hai
ghaaleecha sar-e-farsh hai koi na dari hai
kya aalam-e-be-chaargi ai taaj-wari hai
din ko yaheen aaram, yaheen shab-basari hai
aisee kisi jogan ki bhi kutiya nahin hoti
hoti hai, magar yoon sar-e-sehraa nahin hoti
chaupaaye jo garmi se hain ghabraate to aksar
aaraam liya karte hain is rauze mein aa kar
aur shaam ko baalaai siyah-khaanon mein shab-par
urh urh ke lagaate hain dar-o-baam pe chakkar
maamoor hai yoon mehfil-e-jaanaana kisi ki
aabaad rahe gor-e-ghareebaana kisi ki
I can recall several other lines but not any more complete bands.
Nevertheless, the last two lines are very poignant:
toota hua ik saahil-e-Raavi pe makaan hai
din ko bhi jahaan shab ki siyaahi ka samaan hai
Please contrast the last line with the first one!
I hope someone else can trace the full text. In the meantime, this
partial reproduction might be of some help.
Khair-andesh, Raj Kumar
kashif
Aug 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/28/98
to rpat...@sciborg.uwaterloo.ca
Raj Kumar Pathria wrote:
>
> il_...@yahoo.com wrote:
> >
> > Years ago, I had come across a poem in an old Urdu journal
> > (about 1918 vintage) which had the title "Noorjahan ke
> > Mazaar par". At that time, I had copied the poem and kept it
> > in my personal collection. Years have passed and I have lost
> > it somewhere. Do any of our friends have this poem, and if so,
> > can they post it in this Newsgroup ? I can only add that it
> > was a beautiful---and pretty long---poem, dilating on the theme
> > of the ephemeral nature of worldly renown.
> >
> > Afzal
>
> Janab Afzal Sahib:
>
> The beautiful poem that you have referred to was written by Munshi Tilok
> Chand Mehroom (father of Prof. Jagan Nath Azad). I first read this poem
> in our matriculation text 'Sarmaaya-e-Adab', edited by Haafiz Mehmood
> Sheeraani (father of the famous poet Akhtar Sheeraani). This poem is
> definitely included in one of Mehroom's books --- very likely, in
> "Ganj-e-m'aani'. I don't have any resources at hand from where I could
> extract this poem for you; I will, however, reproduce for your (and
> other ALUPers' enjoyment) certain portions of that poem from memory:
>
> il_...@yahoo.com wrote:
> >
> > Years ago, I had come across a poem in an old Urdu journal
> > (about 1918 vintage) which had the title "Noorjahan ke
> > Mazaar par". At that time, I had copied the poem and kept it
> > in my personal collection. Years have passed and I have lost
> > it somewhere. Do any of our friends have this poem, and if so,
> > can they post it in this Newsgroup ? I can only add that it
> > was a beautiful---and pretty long---poem, dilating on the theme
> > of the ephemeral nature of worldly renown.
> >
> > Afzal
>
> Janab Afzal Sahib:
>
> The beautiful poem that you have referred to was written by Munshi Tilok
> Chand Mehroom (father of Prof. Jagan Nath Azad). I first read this poem
> in our matriculation text 'Sarmaaya-e-Adab', edited by Haafiz Mehmood
> Sheeraani (father of the famous poet Akhtar Sheeraani). This poem is
> definitely included in one of Mehroom's books --- very likely, in
> "Ganj-e-m'aani'. I don't have any resources at hand from where I could
> extract this poem for you; I will, however, reproduce for your (and
> other ALUPers' enjoyment) certain portions of that poem from memory:
janab khalish sahib,
aapka hafza qaabile-e-taarif hai, whatever you remembered you remembered
in correctly, you have one or two stanzas in middle and some words are
different in the version i have. so, i am inserting the missing lines
and different words are given after that line.
kashif
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> din ko bhi yahaan shab ki siyaahi ka samaan hai
> kehte hain yeh aaraam-gah-e-Noor-e-Jahaan hai
> muddat hui woh shama' tah-e-khaak nihaan hai
> uthta magar ab tak sar-e-marqad se dhu'aan hai
> jalwon se ayaan jin ke hua toor ka aalam
> turbat pe hai un ki shab-e-deejoor ka aalam
>
ai husn jahaaN soz! kahaaN haiN woH shara-ray
kis bagH kay gul ho gaye? kis arsh kay taa-raay?
kya ban gaye ab karmak-e-shab taab woH saa-ray?
har shaam chamak-tay haiN jo raawi kay kina-ray
ya ho gaye woH daagH jahaangeer kay dil kay?
qaabil hi to thay aashiq-e-dilgeer kay dil kay!
> tujh si malika ke liye yeh baara-dari hai
> ghaaleecha sar-e-farsh hai koi na dari hai
> kya aalam-e-be-chaargi ai taaj-wari hai
> din ko yaheen aaram, yaheen shab-basari hai
[ din ko yaheeN bisraam, yaheeN shab basri hai]
> aisee kisi jogan ki bhi kutiya nahin hoti
> hoti hai, magar yoon sar-e-sehraa nahin hoti
[ hot ho, magar yuN sar-e-sehraa nahiN hoti]
>
taaweez-e-lahad hai zabar-o-zer, yeH andhera!
yeH daur-e-zamanaH kay ulaT pher, yeH andhera!
aangan meiN pa-Rhay gard kay haiN Dhair, yeH andhera!
ai gardish-e-ayyam! yeH andhera, yeH andhera !
mah-e-falak-e-husn ko yeH burj mila hai
ai charkH te-ray husn-e-nawazish ka gila hai
hasrat hai Tapak-ti ddar-e-deewar say kya kya!
hota hai asar dil peH in aasaar say kya kya!
naa-lay haiN nikal-tay dil afgaar say kya kya!
uTh-tay haiN sharar aah-e-sharbaar say kya kya!
yeH aalam-e-tanhai yeH dariya ka kinara
hai tujh si hasinaH kay liye hoo ka nazara
> chaupaaye jo garmi se hain ghabraate to aksar
[ chaupaye jo ghabra-tay haiN garmi say to aksar]
> aaraam liya karte hain is rauze mein aa kar
[.......................................aksar]
> aur shaam ko baalaai siyah-khaanon mein shab-par
[............................kHaanoN say shappar]
> urh urh ke lagaate hain dar-o-baam pe chakkar
> maamoor hai yoon mehfil-e-jaanaana kisi ki
> aabaad rahe gor-e-ghareebaana kisi ki
aarastaH jin kay liye gulzar-o-chaman thay
jo nazuki meiN daagH woH barg-e-saman thay
jo gulrukH-o-gulpairahan wa gHuncha dahan thay
shadaab gul-e-tar say kaheiN jin kay badan thay
pazmurdaH woH gul dab kay huay kHaak kay nee-chay
kHwaabidaH haiN kHaar-e-khas wa kHashaak kay nee-chay
rah-nay kay liye deedaH-o-dil jin kay makaaN thay
jo paikar-e-hasti kay liye rooh-e-rawaaN thay
mahboob-e-dil-e-kHalaq thay, jaaN bakHsh-e-jahaaN thay
thay yusuf-e-saani, keH maseeha-e-zamaaN thay
jo kuchh thay, kabhi thay, magar ab kuchh bhi nahiN haiN
To-Tay huay panjar say pa-Rhay zer-e-zameeN haiN
duniya ka yeH anjaam hai dekh ai dil-e-nadaaN!
haaN bhool naH jaaye tujh yeH madfan-e-weeraN
baqi haiN naH woH baagH, naH woH qasar naH aiwaaN
aaram kay asbaab naH woH aish kay samaaN
the last two lines are as quoted by raj sahib, below:
il_...@yahoo.com
Aug 31, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/31/98
to
In article <35E78386...@juno.com>,
kashif <ho...@juno.com> wrote:
kashif <ho...@juno.com> wrote:
I am grateful to all my friends who took the trouble to post
various portions/fragments of this beautiful poem, reviving
my old memories. One is also reminded of the following Persian
verse which too is related to a Mughal Princess
Bar mazaar-e-ma ghareebaaN nai chiraaghe nai gule
Nai par-e-parwana sozad, nai sadaaye bulbule
In this sher and the Noor Jahan poem, duniya ki besabaati ka
kitna sahih, haseen magar ibratnaak muraqqa kheencha hai !
FHN55555
Sep 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/7/98
to
Thanks, Kashif for presenting this lovely nazm. I hope you will allow me to
point out a small error (most probably due to transliteration) as it changes
the meaning of the words so dramatically.
>taaweez-e-lahad hai zabar-o-zer, yeH andhera!
>yeH daur-e-zamanaH kay ulaT pher, yeH andhera!
>aangan meiN pa-Rhay gard kay haiN Dhair, yeH andhera!
>ai gardish-e-ayyam! yeH andhera, yeH andhera !
The above lines end in 'andher' and not 'andhera'. The meaning now becomes
'unjust' instead of 'darkness', and conveys the poet's lament so much more
effectively.
>uTh-tay haiN sharar aah-e-sharbaar say kya kya!
Nit-picking again! I have words as ".....aah-e-sharar baar se....".
Its been a pleasure seeing the resurgence of this NG through the efforts of new
and old ALUpers alike. :-)
Nita
Visit My Urdu Poetry Page:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/6631/index.html
kashif
Sep 7, 1998, 3:00:00 AM9/7/98
to FHN55555
shukriya nita,
i was just making sure people read the long nazm ;-)
[just kidding]
i was just making sure people read the long nazm ;-)
[just kidding]
thanks for pointing out the mistakes, you are absolutely right.
kash.
Naseer
Oct 20, 2013, 6:49:00 PM10/20/13
to
dostaan-i-giraamii aadaab-o-tasliimaat,
It appears that the poem presented so far is not the complete poem. So, with everyone's leave I am posting this poem which I found today in a book entitled "ash3aar-i-Jadiid" published in Ilaahabaad. I don't know the date of its publication but its compiler is one Sayyid Hassan, Professor of Urdu and Persian at Bihar National College, Bankipur, Patna.
malikah-i-Noor Jahan kaa mazaar
din ko bhii yahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
kahte haiN yih aaraam-gah-i-Noor JahaaN hai
muddat hu'ii vuh sham3 tah-i-xaak-i-nihaaN hai
uThtaa magar ab tak sar-i-marqad se dhu'aaN hai
jalvoN se 3ayaaN jin ke hu'aa tuur kaa 3aalam
turbat pih hai un kii shab-i-daijuur kaa 3aalam
.....
ai Husn-i-jahaaN-soz, kahaaN haiN vuh sharaare
kis baaGh ke gul ho ga'e kis 3arsh ke taare
kyaa ban ga'e ab kirmak-i-shab-taab vuh saare
har shaam chamakte haiN jo raavii ke kinaare
yaa ho ga'e vuh daaGh JahaaNgiir ke dil ke
qaabil hii to the 3aashiq-i-dil-giir ke dil ke
.....
ta3viiz-i-laHd hai zabar-o-zer yih andher
yih daur-i-zamaanah ke ulaT-pher, yih andher
aaNgan meN paRe gard ke haiN Dher, yih andher
ai gardish-i-ayyaam, yih andher yih andher
maah-i-falak-i-Husn ko yih burj milaa hai
ai charx tirii hech-navaazii kaa gilaa hai
.....
Hasrat hai Tapaktii dar-o-diivaar se kyaa kyaa
hotaa hai asar dil pih in aasaar se kyaa kyaa
naale haiN nikalte dil-i-afgaar se kyaa kyaa
uThte haiN sharar aah-i-sharar-baar se kyaa kyaa
hai 3aalam-i-tanhaa'ii yih daryaa kaa kinaarah
hai tujh sii hasiinah ke liye huu kaa nazaarah
.....
chau-paa'e jo ghabraate haiN garmii se to aksar
aaraam liyaa karte haiN is rauze meN aa kar
aur shaam ko baalaa'ii siyah-xaanoN se shappar
uR-uR ke lagaagte haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaaN nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-GhariibaaN nah kisii kii
.....
aaraastah jin ke liye gul-zaar-o-chaman the
jo naazukii meN daaGh-dih-i-barg-i-saman the
jo gul-rux-o-gul-pairahan-o-Ghunchah-dahan the
shaadaab gul-i-tar se kahiiN jin ke badan the
paZmurdahcuh vuh gul dab ke hu'e xaak ke niiche
xvaabiidah haiN xaar-o-xas-o-xaashaak ke niiche
.....
rahne ke liye diidah-o-dil jin ke makaaN the
jo paikar-i-hastii ke liye ruuH-i-ravaaN the
maHbub-i-dil-i-xalq the, jaaN-baxsh-i-jahaaN the
the Yuusuf-i-saanii kih MasiiHaa-i-zamaaN the
jo kuchh the kabhii the magar ab kuchh bhii nahiiN haiN
TuuTe hu'e pinjar se paRe zer-i-zamiiN haiN
.....
dunyaa kaa yih anjaam hai dekh ai dil-i-naa-daaN
haaN bhuul nah jaa'e tujhe yih madfan-i-veeraaN
baaqii haiN nah vuh baaGh nah vuh qasr nah aaivaaN
aaraam ke asbaab nah vuh 3aish ke saamaaN
TuuTaa hu'aa ik saaHil-i-raavii pih makaaN hai
din ko bhii jahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom (1887-1966)
It appears that the poem presented so far is not the complete poem. So, with everyone's leave I am posting this poem which I found today in a book entitled "ash3aar-i-Jadiid" published in Ilaahabaad. I don't know the date of its publication but its compiler is one Sayyid Hassan, Professor of Urdu and Persian at Bihar National College, Bankipur, Patna.
malikah-i-Noor Jahan kaa mazaar
din ko bhii yahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
kahte haiN yih aaraam-gah-i-Noor JahaaN hai
muddat hu'ii vuh sham3 tah-i-xaak-i-nihaaN hai
uThtaa magar ab tak sar-i-marqad se dhu'aaN hai
jalvoN se 3ayaaN jin ke hu'aa tuur kaa 3aalam
turbat pih hai un kii shab-i-daijuur kaa 3aalam
.....
ai Husn-i-jahaaN-soz, kahaaN haiN vuh sharaare
kis baaGh ke gul ho ga'e kis 3arsh ke taare
kyaa ban ga'e ab kirmak-i-shab-taab vuh saare
har shaam chamakte haiN jo raavii ke kinaare
yaa ho ga'e vuh daaGh JahaaNgiir ke dil ke
qaabil hii to the 3aashiq-i-dil-giir ke dil ke
.....
ta3viiz-i-laHd hai zabar-o-zer yih andher
yih daur-i-zamaanah ke ulaT-pher, yih andher
aaNgan meN paRe gard ke haiN Dher, yih andher
ai gardish-i-ayyaam, yih andher yih andher
maah-i-falak-i-Husn ko yih burj milaa hai
ai charx tirii hech-navaazii kaa gilaa hai
.....
Hasrat hai Tapaktii dar-o-diivaar se kyaa kyaa
hotaa hai asar dil pih in aasaar se kyaa kyaa
naale haiN nikalte dil-i-afgaar se kyaa kyaa
uThte haiN sharar aah-i-sharar-baar se kyaa kyaa
hai 3aalam-i-tanhaa'ii yih daryaa kaa kinaarah
hai tujh sii hasiinah ke liye huu kaa nazaarah
.....
chau-paa'e jo ghabraate haiN garmii se to aksar
aaraam liyaa karte haiN is rauze meN aa kar
aur shaam ko baalaa'ii siyah-xaanoN se shappar
uR-uR ke lagaagte haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaaN nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-GhariibaaN nah kisii kii
.....
aaraastah jin ke liye gul-zaar-o-chaman the
jo naazukii meN daaGh-dih-i-barg-i-saman the
jo gul-rux-o-gul-pairahan-o-Ghunchah-dahan the
shaadaab gul-i-tar se kahiiN jin ke badan the
paZmurdahcuh vuh gul dab ke hu'e xaak ke niiche
xvaabiidah haiN xaar-o-xas-o-xaashaak ke niiche
.....
rahne ke liye diidah-o-dil jin ke makaaN the
jo paikar-i-hastii ke liye ruuH-i-ravaaN the
maHbub-i-dil-i-xalq the, jaaN-baxsh-i-jahaaN the
the Yuusuf-i-saanii kih MasiiHaa-i-zamaaN the
jo kuchh the kabhii the magar ab kuchh bhii nahiiN haiN
TuuTe hu'e pinjar se paRe zer-i-zamiiN haiN
.....
dunyaa kaa yih anjaam hai dekh ai dil-i-naa-daaN
haaN bhuul nah jaa'e tujhe yih madfan-i-veeraaN
baaqii haiN nah vuh baaGh nah vuh qasr nah aaivaaN
aaraam ke asbaab nah vuh 3aish ke saamaaN
TuuTaa hu'aa ik saaHil-i-raavii pih makaaN hai
din ko bhii jahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom (1887-1966)
Raj Kumar
Oct 21, 2013, 9:04:27 PM10/21/13
to
On Sunday, October 20, 2013 3:49:00 PM UTC-7, Naseer wrote:
***janaab-e-Naseer saahib:
is laa-javaab “javaahar-paare” ko is ki mukammal shakl meN pesh karne ke liye, sabhii ALUPers ki jaanib se, aap ka bahut bahut shukriya!
Huzoor, jahaaN munshi Tilok Chand Mehruum (jin se milne ka sharaf Khaaksaar ko 1946-1949 ke arse meN do baar haasil hu’aa thaa) ki nazm-nigaarii qaabil-e-daad hai, vahaaN ham ALUPers ki Roman-Urdu transliteration ki ‘evolution’ bhi qaabil-qadr hai!
misaal ke taur par, aap mulaahiza farmaaiye k kahaaN Khaaksaar ki 1998 ki be-qaa’ida nigaarish aur kahaaN aap ki haaliya baa-qaa’ida nigaarish? WOW! I stand benumbed!
taaham, do aek baateN kehne ki haiN:***
din ko bhii yahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
kahte haiN yih aaraam-gah-i-Noor JahaaN hai
muddat hu'ii vuh sham3 tah-i-xaak-i-nihaaN hai
uThtaa magar ab tak sar-i-marqad se dhu'aaN hai
jalvoN se 3ayaaN jin ke hu'aa tuur kaa 3aalam
turbat pih hai un kii shab-i-daijuur kaa 3aalam
*** is baNd ke teesre misr’e meN
“tah-e-Khaak-e-nihaaN hai” should be “tah-e-Khaak nihaaN hai”.
Please double-check it!***
ai Husn-i-jahaaN-soz, kahaaN haiN vuh sharaare
kis baaGh ke gul ho ga'e kis 3arsh ke taare
kyaa ban ga'e ab kirmak-i-shab-taab vuh saare
har shaam chamakte haiN jo raavii ke kinaare
yaa ho ga'e vuh daaGh JahaaNgiir ke dil ke
qaabil hii to the 3aashiq-i-dil-giir ke dil ke
line 4, lagaagte ---→ lagaate ( a minor ‘laGhzish’)
line 5, jaanaaN nah ---→ jaanaana(h), one word, not two
(not a minor ‘laGhzish)
line 6, GhariibaaN nah ---→ Ghariibaana(h), one word, not two
(once again, not a minor ‘laGhzish).***
aaraastah jin ke liye gul-zaar-o-chaman the
jo naazukii meN daaGh-dih-i-barg-i-saman the
jo gul-rux-o-gul-pairahan-o-Ghunchah-dahan the
shaadaab gul-i-tar se kahiiN jin ke badan the
paZmurdahcuh vuh gul dab ke hu'e xaak ke niiche
xvaabiidah haiN xaar-o-xas-o-xaashaak ke niiche
*** line 5, paZmurdahcuh ---→ paZmurdah, no ‘cuh’ here!***
rahne ke liye diidah-o-dil jin ke makaaN the
jo paikar-i-hastii ke liye ruuH-i-ravaaN the
maHbub-i-dil-i-xalq the, jaaN-baxsh-i-jahaaN the
the Yuusuf-i-saanii kih MasiiHaa-i-zamaaN the
jo kuchh the kabhii the magar ab kuchh bhii nahiiN haiN
TuuTe hu'e pinjar se paRe zer-i-zamiiN haiN
.....
dunyaa kaa yih anjaam hai dekh ai dil-i-naa-daaN
haaN bhuul nah jaa'e tujhe yih madfan-i-veeraaN
baaqii haiN nah vuh baaGh nah vuh qasr nah aaivaaN
aaraam ke asbaab nah vuh 3aish ke saamaaN
TuuTaa hu'aa ik saaHil-i-raavii pih makaaN hai
din ko bhii jahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom (1887-1966)
***baaqii sab Khairiyat hai! ☺
du’aa-go, Raj Kumar***
***janaab-e-Naseer saahib:
is laa-javaab “javaahar-paare” ko is ki mukammal shakl meN pesh karne ke liye, sabhii ALUPers ki jaanib se, aap ka bahut bahut shukriya!
Huzoor, jahaaN munshi Tilok Chand Mehruum (jin se milne ka sharaf Khaaksaar ko 1946-1949 ke arse meN do baar haasil hu’aa thaa) ki nazm-nigaarii qaabil-e-daad hai, vahaaN ham ALUPers ki Roman-Urdu transliteration ki ‘evolution’ bhi qaabil-qadr hai!
misaal ke taur par, aap mulaahiza farmaaiye k kahaaN Khaaksaar ki 1998 ki be-qaa’ida nigaarish aur kahaaN aap ki haaliya baa-qaa’ida nigaarish? WOW! I stand benumbed!
taaham, do aek baateN kehne ki haiN:***
din ko bhii yahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
kahte haiN yih aaraam-gah-i-Noor JahaaN hai
muddat hu'ii vuh sham3 tah-i-xaak-i-nihaaN hai
uThtaa magar ab tak sar-i-marqad se dhu'aaN hai
jalvoN se 3ayaaN jin ke hu'aa tuur kaa 3aalam
turbat pih hai un kii shab-i-daijuur kaa 3aalam
“tah-e-Khaak-e-nihaaN hai” should be “tah-e-Khaak nihaaN hai”.
Please double-check it!***
ai Husn-i-jahaaN-soz, kahaaN haiN vuh sharaare
kis baaGh ke gul ho ga'e kis 3arsh ke taare
kyaa ban ga'e ab kirmak-i-shab-taab vuh saare
har shaam chamakte haiN jo raavii ke kinaare
yaa ho ga'e vuh daaGh JahaaNgiir ke dil ke
qaabil hii to the 3aashiq-i-dil-giir ke dil ke
ta3viiz-i-laHd hai zabar-o-zer yih andher
yih daur-i-zamaanah ke ulaT-pher, yih andher
aaNgan meN paRe gard ke haiN Dher, yih andher
ai gardish-i-ayyaam, yih andher yih andher
maah-i-falak-i-Husn ko yih burj milaa hai
ai charx tirii hech-navaazii kaa gilaa hai
yih daur-i-zamaanah ke ulaT-pher, yih andher
aaNgan meN paRe gard ke haiN Dher, yih andher
ai gardish-i-ayyaam, yih andher yih andher
maah-i-falak-i-Husn ko yih burj milaa hai
ai charx tirii hech-navaazii kaa gilaa hai
Hasrat hai Tapaktii dar-o-diivaar se kyaa kyaa
hotaa hai asar dil pih in aasaar se kyaa kyaa
naale haiN nikalte dil-i-afgaar se kyaa kyaa
uThte haiN sharar aah-i-sharar-baar se kyaa kyaa
hai 3aalam-i-tanhaa'ii yih daryaa kaa kinaarah
hai tujh sii hasiinah ke liye huu kaa nazaarah
hotaa hai asar dil pih in aasaar se kyaa kyaa
naale haiN nikalte dil-i-afgaar se kyaa kyaa
uThte haiN sharar aah-i-sharar-baar se kyaa kyaa
hai 3aalam-i-tanhaa'ii yih daryaa kaa kinaarah
hai tujh sii hasiinah ke liye huu kaa nazaarah
chau-paa'e jo ghabraate haiN garmii se to aksar
aaraam liyaa karte haiN is rauze meN aa kar
aur shaam ko baalaa'ii siyah-xaanoN se shappar
uR-uR ke lagaagte haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaaN nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-GhariibaaN nah kisii kii
***is baNd meN,
aaraam liyaa karte haiN is rauze meN aa kar
aur shaam ko baalaa'ii siyah-xaanoN se shappar
uR-uR ke lagaagte haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaaN nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-GhariibaaN nah kisii kii
line 4, lagaagte ---→ lagaate ( a minor ‘laGhzish’)
line 5, jaanaaN nah ---→ jaanaana(h), one word, not two
(not a minor ‘laGhzish)
line 6, GhariibaaN nah ---→ Ghariibaana(h), one word, not two
(once again, not a minor ‘laGhzish).***
aaraastah jin ke liye gul-zaar-o-chaman the
jo naazukii meN daaGh-dih-i-barg-i-saman the
jo gul-rux-o-gul-pairahan-o-Ghunchah-dahan the
shaadaab gul-i-tar se kahiiN jin ke badan the
paZmurdahcuh vuh gul dab ke hu'e xaak ke niiche
xvaabiidah haiN xaar-o-xas-o-xaashaak ke niiche
rahne ke liye diidah-o-dil jin ke makaaN the
jo paikar-i-hastii ke liye ruuH-i-ravaaN the
maHbub-i-dil-i-xalq the, jaaN-baxsh-i-jahaaN the
the Yuusuf-i-saanii kih MasiiHaa-i-zamaaN the
jo kuchh the kabhii the magar ab kuchh bhii nahiiN haiN
TuuTe hu'e pinjar se paRe zer-i-zamiiN haiN
.....
dunyaa kaa yih anjaam hai dekh ai dil-i-naa-daaN
haaN bhuul nah jaa'e tujhe yih madfan-i-veeraaN
baaqii haiN nah vuh baaGh nah vuh qasr nah aaivaaN
aaraam ke asbaab nah vuh 3aish ke saamaaN
TuuTaa hu'aa ik saaHil-i-raavii pih makaaN hai
din ko bhii jahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom (1887-1966)
du’aa-go, Raj Kumar***
Naseer
Oct 22, 2013, 5:07:04 PM10/22/13
to
muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib, aadaab.
aap ne ba-jaa farmaayaa hai kih ALUPers kii Roman tarz-i-nigaarish meN xaatir-xvaah tabiili ruu-numaa hu’ii hai. agar yih tabdiilii Urdu taHriir ke durust ruup ko ujaagar karne meN madad-gaar saabit hotii hai to likhne vaaloN kii koshish raa’igaaN nahiiN jaa’e gii aur 3ain mumkin hai kih kuchh log is se mustafiid bhii hoN aur in meN ma3duude chand is irtiqaa ko apnaa bhii leN!
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom kii is yaad-gaar nazm kii transliteration par nazar-saanii ke liye maiN aap kaa tah-i-dil se shukr-guzaar huuN. agar mujh se aisii laGhzisheN sar-zad nah hotiiN to shaayad aap is laRii ke darvaaze par dastak nah dete! ko’ii xataa nah hotii to maiN apne insaan hone kaa subuut nah de paataa. aap yahaaN tashriif nah laate to hameN kaise patah chaltaa kih aap ko is 3aziim hastii se mulaaqaat karne kaa sharf nah sirf ek baar balkih do baar Haasil ho chukaa hai? ham to aap ko rashk-bharii nazroN se dekh rahe haiN. lihaazaa achchhaa hu’aa kih aisaa hu’aa!
chaliye ab aap kii tasHiiHaat kii jaanib rux karte haiN.
pahle band ke tiisre misr3e meN vaaqi3ii mujh se naa-qaabil-i-mu3aafii laGhzish ho ga’ii hai. ise aap Ghaflat kah leN to Ghalat nah ho gaa.
muddat hu'ii vuh sham3 tah-i-xaak-i-nihaaN hai
ise maiN abhii durust kar rahaa huuN. shukriyah.
paaNchveN aur chhaTe bandoN meN jo GhalatiyaaN hu’ii haiN yih “typos” haiN aur maHz be-tavajjuhii ke baa3is hu’iiN. nazm ke agle ruup meN aap inheN Ghaa’ib paa’eN ge!
uR-uR ke lagaagte haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaaN nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-GhariibaaN nah kisii kii
aur yih rahii aap kii islaaH..
line 5, jaanaaN nah ---→ jaanaana(h), one word, not two
(not a minor ‘laGhzish)
line 6, GhariibaaN nah ---→ Ghariibaana(h), one word, not two
(once again, not a minor ‘laGhzish).***
is meN shaayad merii Ghalat-fahmii balkih kam-fahmii kaa 3unsar shaamil ho. merii Haqiir samajh-buujh ke mutaabiq shaa3ir hameN bataa rahaa hai kih “shikkhar-dopahr”kii kaRii dhuup se ghabraa kar gaa’e-bhaiNseN aur bheR-bakriyaaN Noor Jahan ke rauze meN sastaane ke liye ghus aatii haiN. ek malikah kii agar yih kam be-Hurmatii hai to raat ko chamgaadaR us ke mazaar ke uupar maNDlaane lagte haiN (jaise kisii laa-vaaris laash par giddheN!). ...is tarH to kisii ke maHbuub kii maHfil ma3muur nahiiN hai. (xudaayaa!) is tarH “aabaad” to kisii musaafir yaa ajnabii kii gor bhii nah ho! ba-qaul shaa3air..
ma3muur hai yuuN..... maHfil-i-jaanaaN......... nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe.......... gor-i-GhariibaaN.....nah kisii kii
jab is nazm kii aaxirii shakl par ittifaaq-i-raa’e ho jaa’e gaa to maiN ise is kii “pristine” Haalat meN pesh kar duuN gaa.
Huzuur, ek baat likhnaa to aap bhuul hii ga’e! yih nazm kahaaN mukammal Thahrii? is meN to abhii ek aur band kii gunjaa’ish hai!!
Naseer
aap ne ba-jaa farmaayaa hai kih ALUPers kii Roman tarz-i-nigaarish meN xaatir-xvaah tabiili ruu-numaa hu’ii hai. agar yih tabdiilii Urdu taHriir ke durust ruup ko ujaagar karne meN madad-gaar saabit hotii hai to likhne vaaloN kii koshish raa’igaaN nahiiN jaa’e gii aur 3ain mumkin hai kih kuchh log is se mustafiid bhii hoN aur in meN ma3duude chand is irtiqaa ko apnaa bhii leN!
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom kii is yaad-gaar nazm kii transliteration par nazar-saanii ke liye maiN aap kaa tah-i-dil se shukr-guzaar huuN. agar mujh se aisii laGhzisheN sar-zad nah hotiiN to shaayad aap is laRii ke darvaaze par dastak nah dete! ko’ii xataa nah hotii to maiN apne insaan hone kaa subuut nah de paataa. aap yahaaN tashriif nah laate to hameN kaise patah chaltaa kih aap ko is 3aziim hastii se mulaaqaat karne kaa sharf nah sirf ek baar balkih do baar Haasil ho chukaa hai? ham to aap ko rashk-bharii nazroN se dekh rahe haiN. lihaazaa achchhaa hu’aa kih aisaa hu’aa!
chaliye ab aap kii tasHiiHaat kii jaanib rux karte haiN.
pahle band ke tiisre misr3e meN vaaqi3ii mujh se naa-qaabil-i-mu3aafii laGhzish ho ga’ii hai. ise aap Ghaflat kah leN to Ghalat nah ho gaa.
muddat hu'ii vuh sham3 tah-i-xaak-i-nihaaN hai
paaNchveN aur chhaTe bandoN meN jo GhalatiyaaN hu’ii haiN yih “typos” haiN aur maHz be-tavajjuhii ke baa3is hu’iiN. nazm ke agle ruup meN aap inheN Ghaa’ib paa’eN ge!
uR-uR ke lagaagte haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
paZmurdahcuh vuh gul dab ke hu'e xaak ke niiche
ab paaNchveN band ke aaxirii shi3r ko dekhte haiN.
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaaN nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-GhariibaaN nah kisii kii
line 5, jaanaaN nah ---→ jaanaana(h), one word, not two
(not a minor ‘laGhzish)
line 6, GhariibaaN nah ---→ Ghariibaana(h), one word, not two
(once again, not a minor ‘laGhzish).***
ma3muur hai yuuN..... maHfil-i-jaanaaN......... nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe.......... gor-i-GhariibaaN.....nah kisii kii
jab is nazm kii aaxirii shakl par ittifaaq-i-raa’e ho jaa’e gaa to maiN ise is kii “pristine” Haalat meN pesh kar duuN gaa.
Huzuur, ek baat likhnaa to aap bhuul hii ga’e! yih nazm kahaaN mukammal Thahrii? is meN to abhii ek aur band kii gunjaa’ish hai!!
Naseer
Raj Kumar
Oct 25, 2013, 8:56:05 PM10/25/13
to
On Tuesday, October 22, 2013 2:07:04 PM UTC-7, Naseer wrote:
muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib, aadaab.
aap ne ba-jaa farmaayaa hai kih ALUPers kii Roman tarz-i-nigaarish meN xaatir-xvaah tabdiilii ruu-numaa hu’ii hai. agar yih tabdiilii Urdu taHriir ke durust ruup ko ujaagar karne meN madad-gaar saabit hotii hai to likhne vaaloN kii koshish raa’igaaN nahiiN jaa’e gii aur 3ain mumkin hai kih kuchh log is se mustafiid bhii hoN aur in meN ma3duude chand is irtiqaa ko apnaa bhii leN!
muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib, aadaab.
***janaab-e-Naseer saahib:
aap ka irshaad yaqeenan bar-Haq hai k aihl-e-internet ke kayee tabqoN ne hamaari is tarz-e-nigaarish ko yake-ba’ad-deegare apnaa liyaa hai --- jaise beshtar ALUPers ne, bazm-e-suKhan vaaloN ne, Urdustaan vaaloN ne aur meHfil-e-suKhan vaaloN ne!
yeh baat alag k abhii bhii kuchh log Khudaa ko xudaa aur ‘aish ko 3aish likhne se katraate haiN.*** ;)
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom kii is yaad-gaar nazm kii transliteration par nazar-saanii ke liye maiN aap kaa tah-i-dil se shukr-guzaar huuN. agar mujh se aisii laGhzisheN sar-zad nah hotiiN to shaayad aap is laRii ke darvaaze par dastak nah dete! ko’ii xataa nah hotii to maiN apne insaan hone kaa subuut nah de paataa. aap yahaaN tashriif nah laate to hameN kaise patah chaltaa kih aap ko is 3aziim hastii se mulaaqaat karne kaa sharf nah sirf ek baar balkih do baar Haasil ho chukaa hai? ham to aap ko rashk-bharii nazroN se dekh rahe haiN. lihaazaa achchhaa hu’aa kih aisaa hu’aa!
ab paaNchveN band ke aaxirii shi3r ko dekhte haiN.
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaaN nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-GhariibaaN nah kisii kii
aur yih rahii aap kii islaaH..
(not a minor ‘laGhzish)
line 6, GhariibaaN nah ---→ Ghariibaana(h), one word, not two
(once again, not a minor ‘laGhzish).***
is meN shaayad merii Ghalat-fahmii balkih kam-fahmii kaa 3unsar shaamil ho. merii Haqiir samajh-buujh ke mutaabiq shaa3ir hameN bataa rahaa hai kih “shikkhar-dopahr”kii kaRii dhuup se ghabraa kar gaa’e-bhaiNseN aur bheR-bakriyaaN Noor Jahan ke rauze meN sastaane ke liye ghus aatii haiN. ek malikah kii agar yih kam be-Hurmatii hai to raat ko chamgaadaR us ke mazaar ke uupar maNDlaane lagte haiN (jaise kisii laa-vaaris laash par giddheN!). ...is tarH to kisii ke maHbuub kii maHfil ma3muur nahiiN hai. (xudaayaa!) is tarH “aabaad” to kisii musaafir yaa ajnabii kii gor bhii nah ho! ba-qaul shaa3air..
ma3muur hai yuuN..... maHfil-i-jaanaaN......... nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe.......... gor-i-GhariibaaN.....nah kisii kii
jab is nazm kii aaxirii shakl par ittifaaq-i-raa’e ho jaa’e gaa to maiN ise is kii “pristine” Haalat meN pesh kar duuN gaa.
***Sorry, Naseer saahib, I cannot agree with your paraphrase. In my humble opinion, the poet is saying ----
line 6, GhariibaaN nah ---→ Ghariibaana(h), one word, not two
(once again, not a minor ‘laGhzish).***
is meN shaayad merii Ghalat-fahmii balkih kam-fahmii kaa 3unsar shaamil ho. merii Haqiir samajh-buujh ke mutaabiq shaa3ir hameN bataa rahaa hai kih “shikkhar-dopahr”kii kaRii dhuup se ghabraa kar gaa’e-bhaiNseN aur bheR-bakriyaaN Noor Jahan ke rauze meN sastaane ke liye ghus aatii haiN. ek malikah kii agar yih kam be-Hurmatii hai to raat ko chamgaadaR us ke mazaar ke uupar maNDlaane lagte haiN (jaise kisii laa-vaaris laash par giddheN!). ...is tarH to kisii ke maHbuub kii maHfil ma3muur nahiiN hai. (xudaayaa!) is tarH “aabaad” to kisii musaafir yaa ajnabii kii gor bhii nah ho! ba-qaul shaa3air..
ma3muur hai yuuN..... maHfil-i-jaanaaN......... nah kisii kii
aabaad rahe.......... gor-i-GhariibaaN.....nah kisii kii
jab is nazm kii aaxirii shakl par ittifaaq-i-raa’e ho jaa’e gaa to maiN ise is kii “pristine” Haalat meN pesh kar duuN gaa.
“in what strange a manner, with what sort of animals, is this place being inhabited? What a pity it is!
Even so, if it is so, let it be so --- goyaa, yeh maHfil agar kisii aur tar’H se naheeN to kam-az-kam isi tar’H se to aabaad rahe”!
kehne ka matlab yeh k is she’r meN lafz jaanaana(h) aur Ghareebaana(h) ba-taur ‘adjective’ ist’emaal huye haiN aur, in alfaaz ki maujuudagi meN, yahaaN lafz ‘nah’ ka ko’ii maqaam naheeN hai!
meri maaneN to aap aek kaam kareN --- agar aap ka ‘source’ Urdu rasm-ul-Khat meN hai to aap double-check kareN k in alfaaz meN kaheeN ‘nuun-Ghunnah’ hai bhi yaa naheeN? meri raaye meN, aisaa naheeN hai --- in which case, the matter will be resolved in no time.***
Huzuur, ek baat likhnaa to aap bhuul hii ga’e! yih nazm kahaaN mukammal Thahrii? is meN to abhii ek aur band kii gunjaa’ish hai!!
[tujh sii malikah ke liye yeh baara-darii hai
Ghaaleecha sar-e-farsh hai ko’ii na darii hai
kyaa aalam-e-be-chaaragi, ai taaj-warii, hai
din ko yaheeN bisraam, yaheeN shab-basarii hai
aisee kisi jogan ki bhi kuTiyaa nahiiN hotii
hotii hai, magar yooN sar-e-sehraa nahiiN hotii]
ba-raah-e-karam, aap (is nazm meN) agar is baNd ko bhi is ka munaasib maqaam dilvaa deN to aap ki navaazish hogii.
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. May 2000 meN, ALUP par pesh-kardah aek mazmuun ba-unvaan
“do chaar baras ki baat nahiiN, yeh nisf sadii ka qissah hai”
(jo paaNch aqsaat par mushtamil thaa)
us mazmuun meN se chaNd iqtebaasaat (jadeed transliteration ke saath) pesh-e-Khidmat haiN; mulaaHizah farmaaiye: R.K.
A. (from qist 1)
yeh 1949 ki baat hai. maiN Amritsar meN college student thaa aur mere baRe bhaa’ii, jo mujh se 3 baras baRe the (aur ba'ad meN Parvez ke naam se mash'hoor huye), voh bhi vaheeN par the. a’ilaan hu’aa k Chitra Talkies ke hall meN aek shaandaar mushaa'ira hone jaa rahaa hai. yeh mushaa'ira na to Indo-Pak thaa aur na hi kul-Hind, magar khaas baat yeh thi k, taqseem-e-mulk ke ba'ad, yeh Amritsar vaaloN ke liye pehla mushaa'ira tha jis meN Punjab se baahar ke sho'araa bhi tashreef laane vaale the. ba-har-Haal, hamaare liye yeh pehla mauq’a thaa ke ham aise vasee'a paimaane par ho rahe mushaa'ire ka lutf uThaa sakeN.
vaqt aane par, ham dono bhaa’ii Chitra Talkies jaa pahuNche. ‘Ticket window’ par aek lambi qataar dekh kar ham Hairaan bhi huye aur Khush bhi --- k mushaa'ira achchhaa hi hogaa jo itne log joq-dar-joq chale aa rahe haiN. abhi ham soch hi rahe the k kis qeemat ke ticket KhareedeN k achaanak meri nazar aek saahib-e-pur-vaqaar par paRii. nihaayat ro'b-daab vaala chehra aur sar par dastaar-o-kulaah --- maiN ne Parvez se kahaa: "dekho, yeh to Mehroom saahib haiN".
[maiN ne unheN fauran pehchaan liyaa thaa kyooN-k voh, teen baras pehle, hamaare ghar (mere bahut baRe bhaa’ii Professor Zia ke saath) Lahore se tashreef laaye the. hamaare haaN hi ruke the (magar sirf aek din ke liye) aur, hamaare school meN unhoN ne aek nishast meN apna kalaam bhii sunaayaa thaa aur, is visit meN, apne pur-vaqaar conduct ki ba-daulat har kisii ko muta'assir bhi kiya thaa].
Parvez bole, "chalo in se milte haiN". ham dono bhaa’ii aage baRhe aur himmat kar ke Mehroom saahib ke paas jaa pahuNche. abhi ham ne namaste kehne ko haath joRe hi the ke voh fauran bol uThe:
"are beTa, tum Zia saahib ke bhaa’ii ho?"
"jee haaN".
"pitaa ji kaise haiN"?
"ji, bilkul Theek haiN".
"maata ji kaisi haiN"?
"ji, voh bhi Theek haiN".
"to kyaa mushaa'ira sun'ne aaye ho"?
"ji haaN".
"Ticket le liye haiN"?
"ji naheeN, abhi to naheeN liye".
"to phir mat leejiye gaa, tumheN tickets ki zaroorat naheeN hai".
maiN aur Parvez aek doosre ka muNh takne lage. itnii der meN, unhoN ne bulaNd aavaaz meiN aek nau-javaan shaa'ir ko, jo ko’i paaNch-saat gaz ke faasile par khaRe the, aavaaz dii:
"Jagan Nath, zaraa idhar aao".
voh aaye to un se kehne lage, "dekho, yeh Zia saahib ke bhaa’ii haiN aur mushaa'ira sun'ne aaye haiN. inheN apne saath aNdar le jaana".
unhoN ne kahaa, "ji, zaroor" --- aur ham se mukhaatib ho kar kehne lage ke "tum dono bhaa’ii yaheeN khaRe raho. shaa'ir log 'us' darvaaze se aNdar jaayeN ge. vaqt aane par, aap dono mere saath ho leejiye ga. fil-Haal yaheeN khaRe raho".
ham phir aek doosre ka muNh takne lage k yeh kyaa kamaal ho rahaa hai!
shaa'iroN ka jamghaTaa baRhtaa gayaa aur hameN fikr laahaq hone lagii k kaheeN Azad saahib hameN bhool hi na jaayeN. un ke vaalid saahib ke kehne par, ham ne to Ticket bhi naheeN Khareede the!
aaKhir, sho'raa ke daaKhile ka vaqt aa pahuNcha aur Azad saahib jhaT se hamaari taraf lapke. ham dono bhaa’iyoN ko saath le kar hall meN daakhil huye. deegar sho'araa to stage par chaRh kar apne apne maqaam par baiThne lage magar Azad saahib hameN biThaane ke liye munaasib seateN DhooNDne lage. agli paaNch satareN 'Khaas mehmaanoN' ke liye ‘reserved’ theeN. phir bhi , Azad saahib ne ne hameN ain pehli satar meN do seateN dilvaa deeN aur hameN vahaaN biThaa kar Khud stage par jaa baiThe.
apni seateN lete hi ham ne nazar idhar-udhar dauRaa’ii to hosh uRne lage. kahaaN ham 16 aur 19 baras ke chhokre aur kahaaN aas-paas baiThe huye 'elite log'. mujh se chaar seateN pare, hamaare college ke principal aur Angrezi ke professor B.L.Kapoor tashreef farmaa the; un ki baGhal meN, usi college ke Hindi ke professor biraajmaan the. doosri taraf dekhaa to Punjabi ke mash'hoor kavii Pandit Dhani Ram Chaatrik jalva-afroz the air un ke saath Khalsa College ke principal (aur mahaa-vidvaan shakhsiyat) Bhai Jodh Singh tashreef-farmaa the. pichhli satar meiN, Amritsar ke mash'hoor vakeel Lala Kirpa Ram aur saath hi aek aur mash'hoor vakeel Hans Raj Khanna (jo ba'ad meiN Supreme Court ke judge huye) baiThe the. ham se do qadam pare, mahaa-impressive shaKhsiiyat Pandit Chaand Narain Raina khaRe the; chooNke voh Amritsar ke Deputy Commissioner the aur is mushaa'ire ke sadr bhi, is liye idhar-udhar dekh kar maahaul ka jaa'iza le rahe the........
aur, is 'brilliant galaxy' meN, maiN aur Parvez do 'maddham diyoN' ki tarah jhilmilaa rahe the!
B. (from qist 3)
ab baari aayee Janaab-e-Mehroom ki. jaisa k maiN ne pehle bhi kahaa hai, voh aek saahib-e-pur-vaqaar the. jab kalaam sunaane lage to balaa ka sannaaTa tha. voh zer-e-lab bole k "aaj kyaa sunaaooN"?
aek taraf se aavaaz aayee, "Noor JahaaN ka mazaar".
itna sunte hi, muskuraa diye aur farmaaya k "saahib, ab aap Noor Jahaan ke mazaar ko bhool jaaiye aur Khud mere mazaar ki fikr keejiye"!
log ash-ash kar uThThe!!!
phir unhoN ne kuchh rubaa'iyaaN sunaa'eeN, jin meN voh rubaa'ii bhi shaamil thi jo maiN ne kuchh din pehle ALUP par post ki thi. agar kisi ne na dekhi ho to phir se kahe deta hooN:
dosheeza sar-e-bazm agar naache gii
gird us ke havas-kaar nazar naache gii
khaa jaaye gi laGhzish nigah-e-paak vaheeN
jis vaqt voh lachkaa ke kamar naache gii.
aek aur rubaa'ii jo unhoN ne vahaaN par paRhi thi, mujhe ab tak yaad hai:
aaheN haiN vuhii aur ashk-baarii hai vuhii
abr-e-aalaam dil pe taarii hai vuhii
murdah hooN k lutf-e-zeest se hooN mehroom
zindah hooN k dil ki be-qaraarii hai vuhii
Huzoor ne apne taKhallus ko jis aNdaaz se yahaaN baaNdha hai, ko’ii hai jo is aNdaaz ki ta'areef naheeN kare gaa?
Mehroom saahib tarannum se naheeN paRhte the, taiht-ul-lafz paRhte the. magar paRhne ka aNdaaz be-had mu'assir hota tha. unheN, un ke kalaam par aur un ki pur-vaqaar shaKhsiiyat par, Khoob Khoob daad milii.
C. (from qist 5)
mushaa'ire ke ikhtetaam par, ham ne Mehroom saahib aur Azad saahib ka shukriya adaa karna chaaha. voh (dono as_Haab) deegar shaa'iroN meN aur apne maddaHoN meN ghire huye the. ham, aek taraf khaRe ho kar, un ki raah takne lage. thoRii der ba'ad, Mehroom saahib khud hamaare paas aaye aur puuchhne lage:
"kyooN, beTa, mushaa'ira kaisaa rahaa"?
"ji, bahut achchhaa rahaa".
"kuchh samajh meN bhi aayaa"?
"ji haaN, kaafii kuchh samajh meN aayaa".
voh hamaara javaab sun kar muskuraa se diye --- (goyaa, ham jhooT bol rahe the!) ☺
vij...@gmail.com
Oct 27, 2013, 11:03:54 AM10/27/13
to
On Saturday, 26 October 2013 01:56:05 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:
Raj sahib and Naseer sahib,
We are much indebted to both of you for bringing this 'complete' naz'm to us. I for one am looking forward to the final version with all stanzas and corrections. Raj sahib, I thoroughly enjoyed your reminiscences and am envious that you could not only be in the company of such stalwarts but had the opportunity to 'hobnob' with them! The fact that you were in the same room as Dhani Ram Chatrik makes me envious. He was a prominent name during my early years and my father had met him a couple of times (when my father was in his mid twenties). His poetry was essential reading for anyone reading Panjabi as a subject and I can still recite a couple of his poems from memory. 'Mele Vicch Jatt' has become very famous lately because it has been set to music but his most moving description was about the life of a 'mazduur'. It was called 'surgii jioRhe' (the heavenly couple). Allow me to post the last four lines from it:
maaya-dhaarii jis shaaNt maii, jiivan hit ghuldaa rehNdaa hai
uh is kakkhaaN dii kulli vicch mazduur paas aa behNdaa hai
shaahii mehlaaN diia sejaaN te, jo niiNdar toRe kassdii hai
oh ais bahishte aa aa ke chatrik diiaN taliiaaN jhassdii hai
His use of words and phrases like 'toRe kassnaa'* and 'taliiaaN jhassna' was magical. The whole poem is full of magical similes and rustic descriptions.
A samll point. He was affectionately known as 'Laala' Dhani Ram Chatrik and not 'Pandit'.
* to tie up in knots. the word 'toRa' here is used in its rarely used meaning of 'a steel rod'.
Best regards,
Vijay
Raj sahib and Naseer sahib,
We are much indebted to both of you for bringing this 'complete' naz'm to us. I for one am looking forward to the final version with all stanzas and corrections. Raj sahib, I thoroughly enjoyed your reminiscences and am envious that you could not only be in the company of such stalwarts but had the opportunity to 'hobnob' with them! The fact that you were in the same room as Dhani Ram Chatrik makes me envious. He was a prominent name during my early years and my father had met him a couple of times (when my father was in his mid twenties). His poetry was essential reading for anyone reading Panjabi as a subject and I can still recite a couple of his poems from memory. 'Mele Vicch Jatt' has become very famous lately because it has been set to music but his most moving description was about the life of a 'mazduur'. It was called 'surgii jioRhe' (the heavenly couple). Allow me to post the last four lines from it:
maaya-dhaarii jis shaaNt maii, jiivan hit ghuldaa rehNdaa hai
uh is kakkhaaN dii kulli vicch mazduur paas aa behNdaa hai
shaahii mehlaaN diia sejaaN te, jo niiNdar toRe kassdii hai
oh ais bahishte aa aa ke chatrik diiaN taliiaaN jhassdii hai
His use of words and phrases like 'toRe kassnaa'* and 'taliiaaN jhassna' was magical. The whole poem is full of magical similes and rustic descriptions.
A samll point. He was affectionately known as 'Laala' Dhani Ram Chatrik and not 'Pandit'.
* to tie up in knots. the word 'toRa' here is used in its rarely used meaning of 'a steel rod'.
Best regards,
Vijay
Naseer
Oct 27, 2013, 5:35:12 PM10/27/13
to
muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib, aadaab-o-tasliimaat,
On Saturday, 26 October 2013 01:56:05 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:
http://forum.wordreference.com/forumdisplay.php?f=99
""Sorry, Naseer saahib, I cannot agree with your paraphrase. In my humble opinion, the poet is saying ----
“in what strange a manner, with what sort of animals, is this place being inhabited? What a pity it is! Even so, if it is so, let it be so --- goyaa, yeh maHfil agar kisii aur tar’H se naheeN to kam-az-kam isi tar’H se to aabaad rahe”!
kehne ka matlab yeh k is she’r meN lafz jaanaana(h) aur Ghareebaana(h) ba-taur ‘adjective’ ist’emaal huye haiN aur, in alfaaz ki maujuudagi meN, yahaaN lafz ‘nah’ ka ko’ii maqaam naheeN hai!
meri maaneN to aap aek kaam kareN --- agar aap ka ‘source’ Urdu rasm-ul-Khat meN hai to aap double-check kareN k in alfaaz meN kaheeN ‘nuun-Ghunnah’ hai bhi yaa naheeN? meri raaye meN, aisaa naheeN hai --- in which case, the matter will be resolved in no time.***"
janaab-i-3aalii, agar aap kii yahii kasauTii hai to phir aap kii xidmat-i-3aaliyah meN 3arz hai kih jis tarH bande ne yih shi3r naql kiyaa hai huu ba-huu isii shakl meN yih shi3r Ilaahabaad meN chhapne vaalii ek kitaab ba-naam "ash3aar-i-jadiid" meN maujuud hai. sann-i-ishaa3at kaa to mujhe 3ilm nahiiN lekin meraa andaazah hai kih Professor Sayyid Hassan kii muratab kardah kitaab taqsiim se pahle kii hai.
sach puuchhiye to aap kii islaaH ke ba3d meraa iimaan bhii kuchh mutazalzil saa ho gayaa hai. nah to maiN aap kii bataa'ii hu'ii shakl se kaamil-an mutmain huuN aur nah hii us ruup se jo kih maiN ne naql kiyaa hai. lekin yih shi3r isii maHfil meN diigar AlupiyoN ne 3ain usii taur se likhaa hai jaise aap ne taHriir kiyaa hai. lihaazaa, buzurgoN kii qadr-daanii karte hu'e maiN is shi3r ko aap ke andaaz meN likh rahaa huuN!:-)
Vijay SaaHib, rahaa savaal yih kih kyaa maiN ne yih nazm is kii mukammal shakl meN pesh kii hai? dar-asl is mauqi3e par maiN apnii Ghalatii kaa i3tiraaf karnaa chaahtaa huuN.
is nazm kii farmaa'ish janaab-i-Afzal SaaHib ne 28/08/1998 ko kii thii. is ke javaab meN, isii laRii meN, janaab-i-Raj Kumar SaaHib aur janaab-i-Kashif SaaHib ne kam-o-besh puurii nazm pesh kar dii thii. ek hii din ba3d ya3nii mo'arrixah 29/08/1998 ko, janaab-i-Hari Khanna aur muHtaramah Manjuu SaaHibah (?) ne mukammal nazm pesh kii lekin afsos kii baat hai kih un kii shuruu3 kii hu'ii laRii kisii kii tavujjuh kii baa3is nah banii.
Hari & Manju Khanna: 29/08/1998 Nur Jahan ka Mazaar
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.language.urdu.poetry/mazaar/alt.language.urdu.poetry/1NczJsBwBFs/VFyaMzk4PKwJ
aaxir meN Afzal SaaHib hii ne yih nazm kahiiN se DhuuND nikaalii aur qaari'iin kii xaatir pesh kar dii. shaayad merii tarH vuh bhii samajh rahe the kih ab tak kisii ne yahaaN puurii nazm nahiiN chaspaaN kii.
Afzal SaaHib: 25/01/2011 Noor JahaaN Ke Mazaar Par" - Tilok Chand Mehroom
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.language.urdu.poetry/ke$20mazaar$20par/alt.language.urdu.poetry/gQ1q6d7g-zk/9s7C1G8cJ7MJ
chaliye isii bahaane ek duusre se baat karne kaa mauqa3 to mil gayaa hai nah?!
................................................................................
malikah-i-Noor JahaaN kaa mazaar
din ko bhii yahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
kahte haiN yih aaraam-gah-i-Noor JahaaN hai
muddat hu'ii vuh sham3 tah-i-xaak nihaaN hai
ai Husn-i-jahaaN-soz, kahaaN haiN vuh sharaare
kis baaGh ke gul ho ga'e kis 3arsh ke taare
kyaa ban ga'e ab kirmak-i-shab-taab vuh saare
har shaam chamakte haiN jo raavii ke kinaare
yaa ho ga'e vuh daaGh JahaaN-giir ke dil ke
tujh sii malikah ke liye yih baarah-darii hai
Ghaaliichah sar-i-farsh hai ko’ii nah darii hai
kyaa 3aalam-i-be-chaaragii ai taaj-varii hai
din ko yahiiN bisraam, yahiiN shab basarii hai
aisii kisii jogan kii bhii kuTiyaa nahiiN hotii
hotii hai magar yuuN sar-i-saHraa nahiiN hotii
.....
ta3viiz-i-laHd hai zabar-o-zer, yih andher
maah-i-falak-i-Husn ko yih burj milaa hai
ai charx tirii hech-navaazii kaa gilaa hai
.....
Hasrat hai Tapaktii dar-o-diivaar se kyaa kyaa
hotaa hai asar dil pih in aasaar se kyaa kyaa
naale haiN nikalte dil-i-afgaar se kyaa kyaa
uThte haiN sharar aah-i-sharar-baar se kyaa kyaa
hai 3aalam-i-tanhaa'ii yih daryaa kaa kinaarah
hai tujh sii hasiinah ke liye huu kaa nazaarah
.....
chau-paa'e jo ghabraate haiN garmii se to aksar
aaraam liyaa karte haiN is rauze meN aa kar
aur shaam ko baalaa'ii siyah-xaanoN se shappar
aabaad rahe gor-i-Ghariibaanah kisii kii
.....
aaraastah jin ke liye gul-zaar-o-chaman the
jo naazukii meN daaGh-dih-i-barg-i-saman the
jo gul-rux-o-gul-pairahan-o-Ghunchah-dahan the
shaadaab gul-i-tar se kahiiN jin ke badan the
paZmurdah vuh gul dab ke hu'e xaak ke niiche
rahne ke liye diidah-o-dil jin ke makaaN the
jo paikar-i-hastii ke liye ruuH-i-ravaaN the
maHbub-i-dil-i-xalq the, jaaN-baxsh-i-jahaaN the
the Yuusuf-i-saanii kih MasiiHaa-i-zamaaN the
jo kuchh the kabhii the magar ab kuchh bhii nahiiN haiN
TuuTe hu'e pinjar se paRe zer-i-zamiiN haiN
.....
dunyaa kaa yih anjaam hai dekh ai dil-i-naa-daaN
haaN bhuul nah jaa'e tujhe yih madfan-i-veeraaN
baaqii haiN nah vuh baaGh nah vuh qasr nah aaivaaN
aaraam ke asbaab nah vuh 3aish ke saamaaN
TuuTaa hu'aa ik saaHil-i-raavii pih makaaN hai
din ko bhii jahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom (1887-1966)
................................................................................
Naseer
On Saturday, 26 October 2013 01:56:05 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:
"aap ka irshaad yaqeenan bar-Haq hai k aihl-e-internet ke kayee tabqoN ne hamaari is tarz-e-nigaarish ko yake-ba’ad-deegare apnaa liyaa hai --- jaise beshtar ALUPers ne, bazm-e-suKhan vaaloN ne, Urdustaan vaaloN ne aur meHfil-e-suKhan vaaloN ne!
yeh baat alag k abhii bhii kuchh log Khudaa ko xudaa aur ‘aish ko 3aish likhne se katraate haiN.*** ;)"
Huzuur, aur yih baat aur hai kih jis maHfil kaa zikr laazimii thaa us kaa naam aap ne liyaa hii nahiiN!!
yeh baat alag k abhii bhii kuchh log Khudaa ko xudaa aur ‘aish ko 3aish likhne se katraate haiN.*** ;)"
http://forum.wordreference.com/forumdisplay.php?f=99
""Sorry, Naseer saahib, I cannot agree with your paraphrase. In my humble opinion, the poet is saying ----
“in what strange a manner, with what sort of animals, is this place being inhabited? What a pity it is! Even so, if it is so, let it be so --- goyaa, yeh maHfil agar kisii aur tar’H se naheeN to kam-az-kam isi tar’H se to aabaad rahe”!
kehne ka matlab yeh k is she’r meN lafz jaanaana(h) aur Ghareebaana(h) ba-taur ‘adjective’ ist’emaal huye haiN aur, in alfaaz ki maujuudagi meN, yahaaN lafz ‘nah’ ka ko’ii maqaam naheeN hai!
meri maaneN to aap aek kaam kareN --- agar aap ka ‘source’ Urdu rasm-ul-Khat meN hai to aap double-check kareN k in alfaaz meN kaheeN ‘nuun-Ghunnah’ hai bhi yaa naheeN? meri raaye meN, aisaa naheeN hai --- in which case, the matter will be resolved in no time.***"
sach puuchhiye to aap kii islaaH ke ba3d meraa iimaan bhii kuchh mutazalzil saa ho gayaa hai. nah to maiN aap kii bataa'ii hu'ii shakl se kaamil-an mutmain huuN aur nah hii us ruup se jo kih maiN ne naql kiyaa hai. lekin yih shi3r isii maHfil meN diigar AlupiyoN ne 3ain usii taur se likhaa hai jaise aap ne taHriir kiyaa hai. lihaazaa, buzurgoN kii qadr-daanii karte hu'e maiN is shi3r ko aap ke andaaz meN likh rahaa huuN!:-)
Vijay SaaHib, rahaa savaal yih kih kyaa maiN ne yih nazm is kii mukammal shakl meN pesh kii hai? dar-asl is mauqi3e par maiN apnii Ghalatii kaa i3tiraaf karnaa chaahtaa huuN.
is nazm kii farmaa'ish janaab-i-Afzal SaaHib ne 28/08/1998 ko kii thii. is ke javaab meN, isii laRii meN, janaab-i-Raj Kumar SaaHib aur janaab-i-Kashif SaaHib ne kam-o-besh puurii nazm pesh kar dii thii. ek hii din ba3d ya3nii mo'arrixah 29/08/1998 ko, janaab-i-Hari Khanna aur muHtaramah Manjuu SaaHibah (?) ne mukammal nazm pesh kii lekin afsos kii baat hai kih un kii shuruu3 kii hu'ii laRii kisii kii tavujjuh kii baa3is nah banii.
Hari & Manju Khanna: 29/08/1998 Nur Jahan ka Mazaar
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.language.urdu.poetry/mazaar/alt.language.urdu.poetry/1NczJsBwBFs/VFyaMzk4PKwJ
aaxir meN Afzal SaaHib hii ne yih nazm kahiiN se DhuuND nikaalii aur qaari'iin kii xaatir pesh kar dii. shaayad merii tarH vuh bhii samajh rahe the kih ab tak kisii ne yahaaN puurii nazm nahiiN chaspaaN kii.
Afzal SaaHib: 25/01/2011 Noor JahaaN Ke Mazaar Par" - Tilok Chand Mehroom
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.language.urdu.poetry/ke$20mazaar$20par/alt.language.urdu.poetry/gQ1q6d7g-zk/9s7C1G8cJ7MJ
chaliye isii bahaane ek duusre se baat karne kaa mauqa3 to mil gayaa hai nah?!
................................................................................
malikah-i-Noor JahaaN kaa mazaar
din ko bhii yahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
kahte haiN yih aaraam-gah-i-Noor JahaaN hai
uThtaa magar ab tak sar-i-marqad se dhu'aaN hai
jalvoN se 3ayaaN jin ke hu'aa tuur kaa 3aalam
turbat pih hai un kii shab-i-daijuur kaa 3aalam
.....
jalvoN se 3ayaaN jin ke hu'aa tuur kaa 3aalam
turbat pih hai un kii shab-i-daijuur kaa 3aalam
ai Husn-i-jahaaN-soz, kahaaN haiN vuh sharaare
kis baaGh ke gul ho ga'e kis 3arsh ke taare
kyaa ban ga'e ab kirmak-i-shab-taab vuh saare
har shaam chamakte haiN jo raavii ke kinaare
qaabil hii to the 3aashiq-i-dil-giir ke dil ke
.....
tujh sii malikah ke liye yih baarah-darii hai
Ghaaliichah sar-i-farsh hai ko’ii nah darii hai
kyaa 3aalam-i-be-chaaragii ai taaj-varii hai
din ko yahiiN bisraam, yahiiN shab basarii hai
aisii kisii jogan kii bhii kuTiyaa nahiiN hotii
hotii hai magar yuuN sar-i-saHraa nahiiN hotii
.....
ta3viiz-i-laHd hai zabar-o-zer, yih andher
yih daur-i-zamaanah ke ulaT-pher, yih andher
aaNgan meN paRe gard ke haiN Dher, yih andher
ai gardish-i-ayyaam, yih andher, yih andher
aaNgan meN paRe gard ke haiN Dher, yih andher
maah-i-falak-i-Husn ko yih burj milaa hai
ai charx tirii hech-navaazii kaa gilaa hai
Hasrat hai Tapaktii dar-o-diivaar se kyaa kyaa
hotaa hai asar dil pih in aasaar se kyaa kyaa
naale haiN nikalte dil-i-afgaar se kyaa kyaa
uThte haiN sharar aah-i-sharar-baar se kyaa kyaa
hai 3aalam-i-tanhaa'ii yih daryaa kaa kinaarah
hai tujh sii hasiinah ke liye huu kaa nazaarah
chau-paa'e jo ghabraate haiN garmii se to aksar
aaraam liyaa karte haiN is rauze meN aa kar
aur shaam ko baalaa'ii siyah-xaanoN se shappar
uR-uR ke lagaagte haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
ma3muur hai yuuN maHfil-i-jaanaanah kisii kii
aabaad rahe gor-i-Ghariibaanah kisii kii
.....
aaraastah jin ke liye gul-zaar-o-chaman the
jo naazukii meN daaGh-dih-i-barg-i-saman the
jo gul-rux-o-gul-pairahan-o-Ghunchah-dahan the
shaadaab gul-i-tar se kahiiN jin ke badan the
xvaabiidah haiN xaar-o-xas-o-xaashaak ke niiche
.....
rahne ke liye diidah-o-dil jin ke makaaN the
jo paikar-i-hastii ke liye ruuH-i-ravaaN the
maHbub-i-dil-i-xalq the, jaaN-baxsh-i-jahaaN the
the Yuusuf-i-saanii kih MasiiHaa-i-zamaaN the
jo kuchh the kabhii the magar ab kuchh bhii nahiiN haiN
TuuTe hu'e pinjar se paRe zer-i-zamiiN haiN
.....
dunyaa kaa yih anjaam hai dekh ai dil-i-naa-daaN
haaN bhuul nah jaa'e tujhe yih madfan-i-veeraaN
baaqii haiN nah vuh baaGh nah vuh qasr nah aaivaaN
aaraam ke asbaab nah vuh 3aish ke saamaaN
TuuTaa hu'aa ik saaHil-i-raavii pih makaaN hai
din ko bhii jahaaN shab kii siyaahii kaa samaaN hai
Munshi Tilok Chand Mehroom (1887-1966)
Naseer
Raj Kumar
Oct 28, 2013, 5:21:37 PM10/28/13
to
On Sunday, October 27, 2013 2:35:12 PM UTC-7, Naseer wrote:
muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib, aadaab-o-tasliimaat,
On Saturday, 26 October 2013 01:56:05 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:
***aap ka irshaad yaqeenan bar-Haq hai k aihl-e-internet ke kayee tabqoN ne hamaari is tarz-e-nigaarish ko yake-ba’ad-deegare apnaa liyaa hai --- jaise beshtar ALUPers ne, bazm-e-suKhan vaaloN ne, Urdustaan vaaloN ne aur meHfil-e-suKhan vaaloN ne!
muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib, aadaab-o-tasliimaat,
On Saturday, 26 October 2013 01:56:05 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:
yeh baat alag k abhii bhii kuchh log Khudaa ko xudaa aur ‘aish ko 3aish likhne se katraate haiN.*** ;)
Huzuur, aur yih baat aur hai kih jis maHfil kaa zikr laazimii thaa us kaa naam aap ne liyaa hii nahiiN!!
http://forum.wordreference.com/forumdisplay.php?f=99
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***meri maaneN to aap aek kaam kareN --- agar aap ka ‘source’ Urdu rasm-ul-Khat meN hai to aap double-check kareN k in alfaaz meN kaheeN ‘nuun-Ghunnah’ hai bhi yaa naheeN? meri raaye meN, aisaa naheeN hai --- in which case, the matter will be resolved in no time.***"
janaab-i-3aalii, agar aap kii yahii kasauTii hai to phir aap kii xidmat-i-3aaliyah meN 3arz hai kih jis tarH bande ne yih shi3r naql kiyaa hai huu ba-huu isii shakl meN yih shi3r Ilaahabaad meN chhapne vaalii ek kitaab ba-naam "ash3aar-i-jadiid" meN maujuud hai. sann-i-ishaa3at kaa to mujhe 3ilm nahiiN lekin meraa andaazah hai kih Professor Sayyid Hassan kii muratab kardah kitaab taqsiim se pahle kii hai.
*****kyaa ‘ravaa-daarii’ hai, qibla, k aap ham buzurgoN ki dil-aazaarii se is qadar ghabraate haiN k aap ne apna paiNtaraa hi badal liyaa! ;)
sach puuchhiye, Huzoor, to yeh aap ka baRappan hai!*****
Vijay SaaHib, rahaa savaal yih kih kyaa maiN ne yih nazm is kii mukammal shakl meN pesh kii hai? dar-asl is mauqi3e par maiN apnii Ghalatii kaa i3tiraaf karnaa chaahtaa huuN.
Hari & Manju Khanna: 29/08/1998 Nur Jahan ka Mazaar
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.language.urdu.poetry/mazaar/alt.language.urdu.poetry/1NczJsBwBFs/VFyaMzk4PKwJ
aaxir meN Afzal SaaHib hii ne yih nazm kahiiN se DhuuND nikaalii aur qaari'iin kii xaatir pesh kar dii. shaayad merii tarH vuh bhii samajh rahe the kih ab tak kisii ne yahaaN puurii nazm nahiiN chaspaaN kii.
Afzal SaaHib: 25/01/2011 Noor JahaaN Ke Mazaar Par" - Tilok Chand Mehroom
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/alt.language.urdu.poetry/ke$20mazaar$20par/alt.language.urdu.poetry/gQ1q6d7g-zk/9s7C1G8cJ7MJ
*****sirf yahii nahiiN, Naseer saaHib, bal-k isi bahaane aap ne hameN un dinoN ki yaad dilaa dii jin ki dhuNdali dhuNdali fazaayeN abhi tak hamaare zehn-o-dil meN muqayyad haiN!
rahii baat is nazm ki ‘takmeel’ kii to, meri raaye meN, shaayad hi kisii yaar-dost ko is baat par bharam ho --- aur jahaaN tak ‘precision’ ka savaal hai, mujhe to sab kuchh Theek lag rahaa hai, sivaaye is ke k
baNd #6, line #4 meN, lagaagte should be lagaate.
agar aap is aek misr’e ki tasHeeH kar DaaleN to, ba-Khudaa, aap ka kaam ‘solah kalaa sampuuran’ ho jaaye ga! ☺
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar*****
Naseer
Oct 29, 2013, 4:09:48 AM10/29/13
to
dostaan-i-giraamii, liijiye aap kii xidmat meN nazm "malikah-i-Noor JahaaN kaa mazaar" Haazir hai.
uR-uR ke lagaate haiN dar-o-baam pih chakkar
2razi...@gmail.com
Jun 23, 2019, 6:47:52 PM6/23/19
to
Katey hain ke ye aramgahe noorjehan jihad hai
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