taqaabul-e-radiifain?
Zoya
kisi bhi she'r meiN, jo k Ghazal ka matla' naheeN hai, us Ghazal ki
radeef ka ist'emaal kiya jaaye! aap dekheN ge k, mut'alliqa she'r
meiN, radeef "meiN" dono misroN meiN aa rahi hai, jab k in misroN meiN
radeef se pehle aane vaale alfaaz "ham-qaafiya" naheeN haiN! goya, yeh
she'r kisi Ghazal ka matla' naheeN ho sakta --- aur agar matla naheeN
hai to phir radeef ko dono misroN meiN baratna jaa'iz naheeN hai.
I am sure, Zoya Saahiba will understand my point!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
RK Sahib aur paabaagil Zaf Sahib,
is mauzuu ko le kar ek nayaa thread shuruu kar rahii huuN, kyoNke Alup
ghazal #2 waalaa thread to pehle hii bahut ulajh chukaa hai! pehle to
yeh kehnaa chaahatii huun ke jo sher maiN_ne submit kiyaa thaa, that
is on hold for now, for more than one reason.
kal raat ko maiN Sammy ke paas baiThhi huii thii aur niiNd nahiiN aa
rahii thii, aur vaise bhii RK Sahib kaa raise kiyaa huaa yeh nuktaa
mere zehn meiN aTkaa huaa thaa! to maiN-ne sochaa ke Meer-o-Ghalib to
Zaf Sahib ke liye Chho.Dte haiN, kyoN kaa maiN apne kuChh aur favorite
shoraa ke kalaam meiN is topic par kuChh research karuuN? isii bahaane
kuChh puraanii kitaaboN kii bhii jhaa.D poNChh ho gayii!
As a math major, most of the questions on our graduate school take
home exams would be prove or disprove a statement. If true, it had to
be true for all cases, if false, finding one counter example was
enough. I do realize that shaayarii and math are two totally different
fields, magar maiN is nukte ko usii tarah analytically approach kar
rahii huuN!
Sammy is now asleep after staying awake most of the night, and I am
still wide awake! So let me share some of the examples that I found
with you.
Interestingly, most of them are in radiif "hai". None of these are
matlaa or matlaa-e-saanii of a ghazal, sabhii baad ke ashaar haiN.
1) Faiz Ahmed Faiz:
While reading Rk Sahib's post, sab se pehle mere zehn meiN Faiz Sahib
kaa yeh mash_huur-e-zamaanaa sher aayaa thaa:
1. na gul khile haiN, na un_se mile, na mai pii hai,
ajiib raNg meiN ab ke bahaar guzarii hai!
And now some more,
2. lihaaz meiN koii kuChh duur saath chaltaa hai
vagarnaa dehr meiN ab Khizr kaa bharam kyaa hai
3. dil muddaaii ke harf-e-malaamat se shaad hai
ai jaan-e-jaaN, yeh harf teraa naam hii to hai!
2) Ahmed nadeem Qasmi:
1. jism be_kaar huaa jaataa hai
ruuh be_daar huii jaatii hai
3) Amjad Islam Amjad:
1. bol ai shaam-e-safar raNg-e-rihaii kyaa hai?
dil ko ruknaa hai ke taaroN meiN Thehar jaanaa hai?
2. voh sapnaa jis kii suurat hii nahiiN hai
merii aaNkhoN meiN palnaa chaahtaa hai!
4) Basheer Badr:
1. ik zehn-e-pariishaaN meiN voh phuul saa chehraa hai
pathhar kii hifaazat meiN shiishe kii jawaanii hai
2. rone kaa asar dil par reh reh ke badaltaa hai
aaNsuu kabhii shiishaa hai, aaNsuu kabhii paanii hai
3. shohrat kii bulaNdii bhii pal bhar kaa tamaashaa hai
jis Daal pe baiThe ho, voh TuuT bhii saktii hai!
And finally, for ashaar in behrs different than "hai", let us go to my
all time favorite shaayar,
5) Ahmed faraz:
1. tuu hai kis haal meiN ai zuud-fraamosh mere?
mujh ko to Chhiin liyaa ehd-e-vafaa ne mere!
2. ab ke kuChh aisii sajii mehfil-e-yaaraaN jaanaaN
sar-ba-zaanuu hai koii sar-ba-garebaaN jaanaaN!
In conclusion, meraa apnaa yeh Khayaal hai ke jo nuktaa RK Sahib ne
uThaayaa hai, voh probably ek recommendation hai, rule nahiiN. Of
course, I consider myself a perpetual student of Urdu poetry, and can
be easily swayed by any legit arguments towards a different point of
view. I hope Sarwar Sahib aur Irfan Sahib bhii is topic par maziid
roshnii DaaleNge, so that I, and many other Alupers like me can learn
some more.
And Raj uncle, ab mujhe ijaazat, so that I can catch up on some sleep
before Sameer gets up!
________________Zoya
UVR
>
> 1) Faiz Ahmed Faiz:
>
> While reading Rk Sahib's post, sab se pehle mere zehn meiN Faiz Sahib
> kaa yeh mash_huur-e-zamaanaa sher aayaa thaa:
>
> 1. na gul khile haiN, na un_se mile, na mai pii hai,
> ajiib raNg meiN ab ke bahaar guzarii hai!
>
> And now some more,
>
> 2. lihaaz meiN koii kuChh duur saath chaltaa hai
> vagarnaa dehr meiN ab Khizr kaa bharam kyaa hai
>
> 3. dil muddaaii ke harf-e-malaamat se shaad hai
> ai jaan-e-jaaN, yeh harf teraa naam hii to hai!
Zoya-ji,
By an inexplicable stroke of coincidence, I too happened to read the
*same* Faiz Ghazal to which the above sh'er (#2) belongs. Although
I was NOT reading it to find any counter-examples of taqaabul-e-
radeefain, I must admit that my attention was drawn to the 'fault'
when I came to this sh'er, which happens to be listed as the *third*
sh'er in the Ghazal.
But you will scarcely imagine my astonishment when I read the very
next (i.e., 4th) sh'er of this Ghazal (which also happens to be the
_most famous_ sh'er from it) --
dil naa_umeed to nahiiN, naa_kaam hii to hai
lambii hai Gham ki shaam, magar shaam hii to hai
Not only does this sh'er end with "hai", but is also goes so far as
to use the *full* radeef -- "hii to hai" -- AND uses a qaafiya word
in BOTH lines!
I'm not proposing that these discoveries of "taqaabul-e-radeefain"
in the work of Meer, Ghalib and Faiz should cause us students of
Urdu poetry to rush out and flout all the other rules of Ghazal-
construction. Far from it. But perhaps, if the only way of con-
veying our thought requires this minor transgression, one must
not be in fear for one's life. We might be able to rest assured
that no lynch-mob is going to come after us baying for our blood! :)
-UVR.
Raj Kumar
>
>
> kal raat ko maiN Sammy ke paas baiThhi huii thii aur niiNd nahiiN aa
> rahii thii, aur vaise bhii RK Sahib kaa raise kiyaa huaa yeh nuktaa
> mere zehn meiN aTkaa huaa thaa! to maiN-ne sochaa ke Meer-o-Ghalib to
> Zaf Sahib ke liye Chho.Dte haiN, kyoN kaa maiN apne kuChh aur favorite
> shoraa ke kalaam meiN is topic par kuChh research karuuN? isii bahaane
> kuChh puraanii kitaaboN kii bhii jhaa.D poNChh ho gayii!
Zoya Saahiba:
aap ki himmat ki daad dena paRti hai k aap ne, in "sabr-aazmaa" lamhoN
meiN bhi, apni adabi sifaat ko madhdham naheeN hone diyaa! meri dilii
tamanna hai k aap jald-az-jald apni maujooda kash-aa-kash se surKh-roo
ho jaayeN aur ALUP-parivaar ko apni salaahiyattoN se faiz-yaab karti
raheN!
>
> As a math major, most of the questions on our graduate school take
> home exams would be prove or disprove a statement. If true, it had to
> be true for all cases, if false, finding one counter example was
> enough. I do realize that shaayarii and math are two totally different
> fields, magar maiN is nukte ko usii tarah analytically approach kar
> rahii huuN!
You are right, ilm-e-riyaazii aur Urdu shaa'iri do muKhtalf qism ki
ashiyaa haiN! ilm-e-riyaazi meiN to kisi bhi mas'ale ko aek hi
"counter-example" taih-o-baalaa kar sakti hai --- is liye k voh
"counter-example" bhi kisi mantiq (= logic) par mabni hoti hai!
albatta, shaa'irii meiN voh baat hargiz naheeN hai, kiyooN-k yahaaN
par to "counter-examples" bhi aib-aalood ho sakti haiN! haaN, itni
baat zaroor hai k agar yeh "counter-examples" achchhi-Khaassi ta'adaad
meiN mil rahii haiN (aur voh bhi esaateza ke kalaam meiN se) to phir
aap mere mushaahide ko aek "recommendation" hi samajhiye --- "rule"
naheeN!
aur maiN aap ko yaqeen dilaata hooN k maiN ne Khud apni GhazloN meiN
kabhi kabhi is "aib" ko vaarid hote dekha hai aur jab bhi aisa huaa
hai to maiN ne yaa to us misre ki tarmeem ki hai yaa phir use
Khaarij-az-Ghazal kar diyaa hai!
agar kaheeN bhool-chook ho gayee ho to alag baat hai.
>
> Interestingly, most of them are in radiif "hai". None of these are
> matlaa or matlaa-e-saanii of a ghazal, sabhii baad ke ashaar haiN.
Now, this point (that you have raised here) is not a minor one. In
other words, why don't we find sufficient examples with a different
radeef. So much so that the examples you have given from A.F., which
happen to have a different radeef, I am afraid, don't serve as
counter-examples --- for reasons I'll explain right away.
>
> And finally, for ashaar in behrs different than "hai", let us go to my
> all time favorite shaayar,
>
> 5) Ahmed faraaz:
>
> 1. tuu hai kis haal meiN ai zuud-fraamosh mere?
> mujh ko to Chhiin liyaa ehd-e-vafaa ne mere!
aap agar is she'r ki baihr par tavajjo deN to aap samajh jaayeN gi k
is she'r ke pehle misre ka aaKhiri lafz "mire" hai, "mere" naheeN hai
--- jab-k doosre misre ka aaKhiri alfz "mere" hai! I don't have access
to this Ghazal, but I am sure you can check it with the original!
aur agar yeh baat hai to --- we should forget about this one!
>
> 2. ab ke kuChh aisii sajii mehfil-e-yaaraaN jaanaaN
> sar-ba-zaanuu hai koii sar-ba-garebaaN jaanaaN!
yeh she'r to A.F. ki kisi Ghazal ka matla ma'aloom deta hai --- agar
matla-e-avval naheeN to matla-e-saani ho sakta hai ya phir teesra ya
chautha bhi ho sakta hai --- magar lagta to matla hi hai!
aur agar yeh baat hai to --- we should forget about this one too!
>
> In conclusion, meraa apnaa yeh Khayaal hai ke jo nuktaa RK Sahib ne
> uThaayaa hai, voh probably ek recommendation hai, rule nahiiN.
As I said above, I am already agreeing with this conclusion of yours
---
but the fact remains that I still regard this situation as an 'aib',
and will never let it happen in my own compositions!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
paabagil
maiN aap kaa mamnooN hooN k aap ne mere uThaa'ye huve nukte ko qaabil
e tavajju samjhaa. itne kaRe vaqt meN bhee Urdu se aap kee muhabbat,
lagan aur zauq o shauq bhee qaabil e daad haiN.
maiN ne apne mazmoon meN arz kar diyaa thaa k "taqaabul e radeefain"
yaa "ijtimaa' e radeefain" taqreeban tamaam aham shu'araa ne ravaa
rakhaa hai. mere paas itnaa vaqt naheeN thaa k maiN us vaqt kuchh
ziyaada misaaleN paish kar saktaa. jo kuchh maiN ne likhaa thaa vo aik
aur discussion board par apne hee aik mazmoon se "copy/paste" kar
diyaa thaa.
aap ne chand nisbatan jadeed shu'araa kee misaaleN faraaham keeN. aaj
kuchh fursat hai to sochaa k kyoN na kuchh puraane davaaveeN ke behr e
baikaraaN meN Ghauta-zanee kee jaa'ye. aur vaise bhee ye kitaabeN
kuchh naayaab see haiN, chunaaNche aksar Alupers ke paas shaa'id na
hoN. to mulaahiza farmaa'iye kyaa motee haath aa'ye haiN, pehle
qausain (brackets) meN matla' aur phir vo she'er jis meN taqaabul e
radeefain huvaa hai:
Khaaja Mir Dard:
1.
(dil miraa phir dukhaa diyaa kin ne
sau gayaa thaa, jagaa diyaa kin ne)
vo mire chaahne ko kyaa jaane
ye saNdesa sunaa diyaa kin ne
2.
(azee'yat ko'yee tere Gham kee mere dil se jaatee hai
kabhoo Tuk dil kiyaa Khaalee to phir chhaatee bhar aatee hai)
sunaa'ooN kyoN ke apnaa haal maiN, kyaa saKht mushkil hai
ye qissa jab lagooN kehne to us ko neeNd aatee hai
Ghulam Hamdani Mus'hafi
3.
(Khaab thaa yaa Khayaal thaa, kyaa thaa
hijr thaa yaa visaal thaa, kyaa thaa)
shab jo dil do do haath uchhaltaa thaa
vajd thaa yaa vo haal thaa, kyaa thaa
4.
Mus'hafi, shab jo chup too baiThaa thaa
kyaa tujhe kuchh malaal thaa, kyaa thaa
5.
(kal hameN us kee taraf jo shauq rehbar ho gayaa
dekhnaa us kaa jo mushkil thaa, mayassar ho gyaa)
qatra e KhooN bhee na apnaa halq meN apne gayaa
ham rahe lab tashna aur sairaab Khanjar ho gayaa
Haidar Ali Aatish
6.
(mumkin naheeN hai doosra tujh saa hazaar meN
hotaa hai ik bahisht kaa daana anaar meN)
ai tifl, tab se shauq e ham-aaGhoshee hai hameN
gehvaara jab k rakhtaa thaa tujh ko kinaar meN
ShaiKh Ibrahim Zauq
7.
(aayaa na vo mah e tal'at, kyaa dair lagaa'ee hai
kheench ai kashash e ulfat, kyaa dair lagyaa'ee hai)
yaaN va'ada bhee aa pahuchaa, too ab talak aataa hai
Allah re tiree Ghaflat, kyaa dair lagaa'ee hai
8.
(chunee too ne afshaaN jo ai meh jabeeN hai
sitaaroN meN bhee kyaa chunaaN o chuneeN hai)
vuhee hai zamaana, vuhee raat din hai
zamaana ko to kuchh taGhayyur naheeN hai
9.
(kyaa Ghamza tiraa bar sar baidaad Ghazab hai
jallaad e falak se bhee ye jallaad Ghazab hai)
vo konsaa Gham hai k jo duniyaa meN naheeN hai
aur is pe bhee dilkash ye Gham-aabaad bahut hai
Nawab Mirza Dagh
10.
(ashk KhooN rag laa'ye jaataa hai
daaGh apnaa jamaa'ye jaataa hai)
naa-umeedee miTaa'ye jaatee hai
shauq naqsha jamaa'ye jaataa hai
11.
(sabaq aisaa paRhaa diyaa too ne
dil se sab kuchh bhulaa diyaa too ne)
kyaa bataa'ooN k kyaa liyaa maiN ne
kyaa kahooN maiN k kyaa diyaa too ne
12.
(kis ne kahaa k 'DaaGh' e vafaa daar mar gayaa
vo haath mal ke kehte haiN, "kyaa yaar mar gayaa!")
jis se kiaa hai aap ne iqraar jee gayaa
jis ne sunaa hai aap se inkaar mar gayaa
vaazih rahe k in buzurgoN ke haaN se dee ga'yee misaaleN kisee tarah
bhee jaam'e (exhaustive) naheeN haiN. is ke ilaava abhee ka'yee aur
asaatiza baaqee haiN ... lekin vo kahaanee phir kabhee sahee.
mazeed-bar-aaN, oopar dee ga'ye ash'aar 1,3,4,5,6, 11 aur 12 se ye
bhee ma'aloom hotaa hai k taqaabul e radeefain ke silsile meN "hai" ke
ilaava bhee ka'yee doosre alfaaz kaa ist'emaal 'aam thaa/hai. aur
meree pehlee tehreer meN Ghalib kee misaal to thee hee jis meN "koyee"
ko duhraayaa gayaa thaa.
ab soorat kuchh yooN bantee hai k Mir, Dard, Mus'hafi, Aatish, Zauq,
Ghalib, Daagh, Iqbal, Faiz aur Faraz taqaabul e radeefain ko aib
naheeN samajhte!!! kam az kam maiN to is formidable "gang" :) ke
muKhaalif dhaRe meN hone kaa Khatra hargiz mol naheeN le saktaa.
niaaz-mand,
pbg