A Sauda Ghazal--bahaar be-sipar-i-jaam-i-yaar guzre hai
Naseer
In a recent thread entitled "Dreamy Trance", Jamil Sahib quoted two
ash'aar, one by Sauda and a Farsi one which is a replica of the Urdu
one by some other soul. Here is what Jamil Sahib had to say there.
...............................................................................................................................
About sabaa being likened to zaNjiir, here are two ash'aar where
nasiim is referred to as arrow. The Urdu one is by Mirza Sauda, and
the one in Farsi is by some unknown (to me) ustaad. The two ash'aar
say almost the same thing. Whether the Farsi one is a translation of
Sauda's she'r or vice versa is any one's guess, though Muhammad
Hussain Azad implies in Aab-e-Hayaat that Farsi one came first. About
the poet, he just says : "Farsi meN koii ustaad kehtaa hai".
Sauda:
bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam-e-yaar guzre hai
nasiim tiir sii chhaati ke paar guzre hai
Farsi:
bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam o yaar me guzrad
nasiim ham chuu KhadaNg az kinaar me guzrad
Whoever is the one to translate (Sauda or "koi ustaad") has done a
superb job. The beauty of the original has been preserved, in
addition to its exact meanings.
Jamil
........................................................................................................................
I have tried to search on the net for the Farsi shi'r without luck. I
would be inclined to think that the shi'r is originally Sauda's and
someone (perhaps Sauda himself) has translated it into Farsi. The only
difference that I can see is that ek meN 'aashiq ke siine se tiir
guzar rahaa hai aur duusre meN us ke pahluu se.
Here, for everyone's reading pleasure, is the whole Ghazal. Please
feel free to correct any errors in my transcription.
....
bahaar be-sipar-i-jaam-i-yaar guzre hai
nasiim tiir sii chhaatii ke paar guzre hai
sharaab Halaq se hotii nahiiN firo tujh bin
guluu-i-Khushk se teGh-i-aab-daar guzre hai
guzar miraa tire kuuche meN go nahiiN to nah ho
mire Khayaal meN tuu laakh baar guzre hai
samajh ke qat' kar ab pairahan miraa Khayyaat
nazar se chaak ke yaaN taar taar guzre hai
ba-i'tibaar-i-shikam shaiKhunaa* ko dozaKh kii
hameshah fikr meN lail-o-nahaar guzre hai
hazaar Harf shikaayat kaa dekhte hii tujhe
zabaaN pih shukr ho be-iKhtiyaar guzre hai
kahe hai aaj tire dar pih iztiraab-i-nasiim
kih is jahaaN se ko'ii Khaak-saar guzre hai
tirii galii se guzartaa huuN is tarH zaalim
kih jaise ret se paanii kii dhaar guzre hai
maiN vuh nahiiN kih ko'ii mujh se mil ke ho bad-naam
nah jaane kyaa tirii Khaatir meN yaar guzre hai
mujhe to dekh ke josh-o-Kharosh Saudaa kaa
isii hii soch meN fasl-i-bahaar guzre hai
yih aadamii hai kih sar maartaa phire hai ba-sang
kih baad-i-tund suu-i-kuh-saar guzre hai
*shaiKhunaa ( Our ShaiKh)
Sauda
......................................................................................................
Naseer
Rajiv Chakravarti
Naseer sahab, aadaab:
Thanks for posting the Sauda ghazal. Sauda, in my personal
opinion is a very difficult poet to read, for some reason -- based
on my personal (limited) attempts at his kulliyaat.
> Sauda:
> bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam-e-yaar guzre hai
> nasiim tiir sii chhaati ke paar guzre hai
> Farsi:
> bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam o yaar me guzrad
> nasiim ham chuu KhadaNg az kinaar me guzrad
> Whoever is the one to translate (Sauda or "koi ustaad") has done a
> superb job. The beauty of the original has been preserved, in
> addition to its exact meanings.
I know this was not posted by you originally, but I was curious
as to why the "jaam-e-yaar" in Urdu was written as "jaam o yaar" in
Farsi?
Is it a simple typo?
I am also struggling with the "be.sipar-e-jaam-e-yaar" construct
myself. What exactly does "(be)sipar" have to do with "jaam-e-
yaar?"
The two seem so far apart. The bahaar/naseem, tiir/chhati gel well,
but "jaam-e-yaar" seems out of place to me *(unless jaam here has
a meaning I don't know about)*
> Here, for everyone's reading pleasure, is the whole Ghazal. Please
> feel free to correct any errors in my transcription.
> bahaar be-sipar-i-jaam-i-yaar guzre hai
> nasiim tiir sii chhaatii ke paar guzre hai
> sharaab Halaq se hotii nahiiN firo tujh bin
> guluu-i-Khushk se teGh-i-aab-daar guzre hai
Line 1:
The word here MUST be "halq," metrically -- even if
the vulgar form is "Ghalat-ul-'aam faseeh" now.
Also, what is more prevalent, "faro" or "firo?" Platts
lists both as correct and does not seem to indicate
one being "more correct" than the other.
Line 2:
Again, metre dictates that this line should be :
guluu-i-Khushk se teGh aab.daar guzre hai
without the izaafat between teGh and aab.daar
> guzar miraa tire kuuche meN go nahiiN to nah ho
> mire Khayaal meN tuu laakh baar guzre hai
> samajh ke qat' kar ab pairahan miraa Khayyaat
> nazar se chaak ke yaaN taar taar guzre hai
> ba-i'tibaar-i-shikam shaiKhunaa* ko dozaKh kii
> hameshah fikr meN lail-o-nahaar guzre hai
> hazaar Harf shikaayat kaa dekhte hii tujhe
> zabaaN pih shukr ho be-iKhtiyaar guzre hai
> kahe hai aaj tire dar pih iztiraab-i-nasiim
> kih is jahaaN se ko'ii Khaak-saar guzre hai
> tirii galii se guzartaa huuN is tarH zaalim
> kih jaise ret se paanii kii dhaar guzre hai
> maiN vuh nahiiN kih ko'ii mujh se mil ke ho bad-naam
> nah jaane kyaa tirii Khaatir meN yaar guzre hai
> mujhe to dekh ke josh-o-Kharosh Saudaa kaa
> isii hii soch meN fasl-i-bahaar guzre hai
> yih aadamii hai kih sar maartaa phire hai ba-sang
> kih baad-i-tund suu-i-kuh-saar guzre hai
> *shaiKhunaa ( Our ShaiKh)
> Sauda
> ......................................................................................................
> Naseer
Thanks for the Ghazal again.
Regards,
RC
Afzal A. Khan
> "Khayyaat" is a new word for me. Couldn't find it online.
> Could you help?
> RC
"KHaiyyaat" means a 'tailor' --- "darzi".
Afzal
Rajiv Chakravarti
Afzal sahab, thanks.. The tashdeed on the "ye" - is that just poetic
liberty though? Platts only shows:
A خياط ḵẖaiyāt̤ (fr. خيط 'to sew')
On second thought, why should this be any different than "Khayyaam,"
right?
Thanks again.
RC
Naseer
On 13 Sep, 15:15, Rajiv Chakravarti <rajiv.chakrava...@gmail.com>
wrote:
> On Sep 12, 2:51 pm, Naseer <qures...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> Naseer sahab, aadaab:
>
> Thanks for posting the Sauda ghazal. Sauda, in my personal
> opinion is a very difficult poet to read, for some reason -- based
> on my personal (limited) attempts at his kulliyaat.
At least your difficulty is restricted only to Sauda. I find any poet
difficult to comprehend!:-)
> > bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam-e-yaar guzre hai
> > nasiim tiir sii chhaati ke paar guzre hai
> > Farsi:
> > bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam o yaar me guzrad
> > nasiim ham chuu KhadaNg az kinaar me guzrad
> > Whoever is the one to translate (Sauda or "koi ustaad") has done a
> > superb job. The beauty of the original has been preserved, in
> > addition to its exact meanings.
>
> I know this was not posted by you originally, but I was curious
> as to why the "jaam-e-yaar" in Urdu was written as "jaam o yaar" in
> Farsi?
> Is it a simple typo?
Rajiv Sahib, this point did not go unnoticed. I personally thought
that "jaam-o-yaar" was more meaningful than "jaam-i-yaar". However, my
source which is considered to be the most reputable compilation of
Sauda's works gives the matla' as I have given it. From this I
concluded that the Farsi version had a typo. Jamil Sahib might be able
to enlighten us on this discrepency.
> I am also struggling with the "be.sipar-e-jaam-e-yaar" construct
> myself. What exactly does "(be)sipar" have to do with "jaam-e-
> yaar?"
> The two seem so far apart. The bahaar/naseem, tiir/chhati gel well,
> but "jaam-e-yaar" seems out of place to me *(unless jaam here has
> a meaning I don't know about)*
I was struggling to get to grips with this construction too. "sipar"
is a shield that gives one safety and protection. One can say that the
poet's spring is passing by without luxury/contentment of "jaam-i-
yaar" which one could stretch to "jaam" with "yaar", perhaps.
> > Here, for everyone's reading pleasure, is the whole Ghazal. Please
> > feel free to correct any errors in my transcription.
> > bahaar be-sipar-i-jaam-i-yaar guzre hai
> > nasiim tiir sii chhaatii ke paar guzre hai
> > sharaab Halaq se hotii nahiiN firo tujh bin
> > guluu-i-Khushk se teGh-i-aab-daar guzre hai
>
> Line 1:
> The word here MUST be "halq," metrically -- even if
> the vulgar form is "Ghalat-ul-'aam faseeh" now.
Yes, my (unforgiveable) mistake here.
> Also, what is more prevalent, "faro" or "firo?" Platts
> lists both as correct and does not seem to indicate
> one being "more correct" than the other.
My Kitaabistaan dictionary gives the transliteration as "firo". As for
which is superior, your guess is as good as mine.
> Line 2:
> Again, metre dictates that this line should be :
> guluu-i-Khushk se teGh aab.daar guzre hai
> without the izaafat between teGh and aab.daar
>
My book does give this as "teGh aab-daar". izaafat was my addition
because I thought that was the correct reading. Wrong once again!!
Having made two confessions of failure, I hasten to add that the book
gave "baad tund" which I thought should be "baad-i-tund" and this is
what I wrote in my post. Is this correct?
Naseer
arahim
wrote:
> On Sep 12, 2:51 pm, Naseer <qures...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>
> Naseer sahab, aadaab:
>
> Thanks for posting the Sauda ghazal. Sauda, in my personal
> opinion is a very difficult poet to read, for some reason -- based
> on my personal (limited) attempts at his kulliyaat.
>
> > Sauda:
> > bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam-e-yaar guzre hai
> > nasiim tiir sii chhaati ke paar guzre hai
> > Farsi:
> > bahaar be-sipar-e-jaam o yaar me guzrad
> > nasiim ham chuu KhadaNg az kinaar me guzrad
> > Whoever is the one to translate (Sauda or "koi ustaad") has done a
> > superb job. The beauty of the original has been preserved, in
> > addition to its exact meanings.
>
> I know this was not posted by you originally, but I was curious
> as to why the "jaam-e-yaar" in Urdu was written as "jaam o yaar" in
> Farsi?
> Is it a simple typo?
>
> I am also struggling with the "be.sipar-e-jaam-e-yaar" construct
> myself. What exactly does "(be)sipar" have to do with "jaam-e-
> yaar?"
> The two seem so far apart. The bahaar/naseem, tiir/chhati gel well,
> but "jaam-e-yaar" seems out of place to me *(unless jaam here has
> a meaning I don't know about)*
>
If the first misra is read as
bahar be sipr e jaam o yaar guzri hai = bahar passed without the
protection of jaam and yaar (ie bahar can be hard on you if no jaam
and no yaar:)
Nasim teer see chatti kay paar guzri hai (since the protection of jaam
and yaar was not there)
If the first misra is read as:
bahar be sipr e jaam e yaar guzri hai = bahar passed without the
protection of jaam e yaar (ie it could be that the yaar is providing
the drink (saqi) and therefore also providing company. The poet was
left without the presence of yaar and the jaam provided by the yaar)
> > ......................................................................................................
> > Naseer
>
> Thanks for the Ghazal again.
> Regards,
> RC- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Jamil
wrote:
> I know this was not posted by you originally, but I was curious
> as to why the "jaam-e-yaar" in Urdu was written as "jaam o yaar" in
> Farsi?
> Is it a simple typo?
...
> RC
Aab-e-Hayaat has "be-sipar-e-jaam o yaar" in both the cases - Urdu and
Farsi. But kulliyaat-e-Saud has jaam-e-yaar, so I corrected the Urdu
version, but left the Farsi one as I found it in Azad's book.
There is another error in Aab-e-Hayat. Sauda's word "chhaati" has
been changed to "siinay".
It is of interest to note that after implying that Sauda plagiarized
someone's Farsi she'r, Azad tries to exonerate the poet with these
words:
"magar aihl-e-taHqiiq kaa qaul hai keh aisii suurat-e-Khaas ko sirqah
nahiiN, tarjumah samajhnaa chaahiye kioNkeh she'r ko she'r hii men
tarjumah karnaa bhii aik dushvaar san'at hai. qat'a nazar is ke isii
matla' ke ba'd aur ash'aar ko dekho kyaa motii paro diye haiN aur
kulliyaat aik daryaa hai keh aqsaam-e-javaahar se bharaa huaa hai.
kaun keh saktaa hai keh is rutbe kaa shaa'ir aik matla' ka muHtaaj
hai, is liye churaa liyaa hai".
Jamil
Jamil
wrote:
The word, in my opinion, is Khayyaat. Khait means thread and Khayyaat
is one who threads, ie. a tailor.
Jamil
Rajiv Chakravarti
Jamil sahab, aadaab 'arz:
http://dsal.uchicago.edu/cgi-bin/philologic/getobject.pl?c.3:1:5521.platts
The above link did not contain the "tashdeed," hence my query earlier.
I have no problems with the "tashdeed" at all, and was wondering if
the version without it was equally prevalent.
Thank you.
RC
Rajiv Chakravarti
> Rajiv Sahib, tasliimaat.
....
> > Thanks for posting the Sauda ghazal. Sauda, in my personal
> > opinion is a very difficult poet to read, for some reason -- based
> > on my personal (limited) attempts at his kulliyaat.
>
> At least your difficulty is restricted only to Sauda. I find any poet
> difficult to comprehend!:-)
Naseer sahab, I did not intend to sound as if Sauda is the only poet
I find "difficult" to read. If it came across that way, I
apologize. :-)
...
> > Line 2:
> > Again, metre dictates that this line should be :
> > guluu-i-Khushk se teGh aab.daar guzre hai
> > without the izaafat between teGh and aab.daar
>
> My book does give this as "teGh aab-daar". izaafat was my addition
> because I thought that was the correct reading. Wrong once again!!
> Having made two confessions of failure, I hasten to add that the book
> gave "baad tund" which I thought should be "baad-i-tund" and this is
> what I wrote in my post. Is this correct?
Yes, I believe that "baad-i-tund" would be correct here.
> Naseer
Regards,
RC
Rajiv Chakravarti
>
> If the first misra is read as
> bahar be sipr e jaam o yaar guzri hai = bahar passed without the
> protection of jaam and yaar (ie bahar can be hard on you if no jaam
> and no yaar:)
>
> Nasim teer see chatti kay paar guzri hai (since the protection of jaam
> and yaar was not there)
>
> If the first misra is read as:
> bahar be sipr e jaam e yaar guzri hai = bahar passed without the
> protection of jaam e yaar (ie it could be that the yaar is providing
> the drink (saqi) and therefore also providing company. The poet was
> left without the presence of yaar and the jaam provided by the yaar)
>
Rahim sahab, aadaab - thanks a lot for your valued input. Your
comments make a lot of sense to me.
-RC
Naseer
wrote:
> On Sep 14, 4:36 am, Jamil <dehq...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Sep 13, 7:34 pm, Rajiv Chakravarti <rajiv.chakrava...@gmail.com>
> > wrote:
>
> > > On Sep 13, 12:22 pm, "Afzal A. Khan" <me_af...@privacy.net> wrote:
>
> > > > On 9/13/2010 9:04 AM, Rajiv Chakravarti wrote:
>
> > > > > "Khayyaat" is a new word for me. Couldn't find it online.
> > > > > Could you help?
> > > > > RC
>
> > > > "KHaiyyaat" means a 'tailor' --- "darzi".
>
> > > > Afzal
>
> > > Afzal sahab, thanks.. The tashdeed on the "ye" - is that just poetic
> > > liberty though? Platts only shows:
> > > A خياط ḵẖaiyāt̤ (fr. خيط 'to sew')
>
> > > On second thought, why should this be any different than "Khayyaam,"
> > > right?
>
> > > Thanks again.
> > > RC
>
> > The word, in my opinion, is Khayyaat. Khait means thread and Khayyaat
> > is one who threads, ie. a tailor.
>
> > Jamil
>
> Jamil sahab, aadaab 'arz:
>
>
> The above link did not contain the "tashdeed," hence my query earlier.
> I have no problems with the "tashdeed" at all, and was wondering if
> the version without it was equally prevalent.
>
> Thank you.
> RC
Rajiv Sahib, aadaab.
The "fa''aal" (fe +zabar+'ain+'ain+zabar+alif+laam) pattern is
regularly used to form "occupations" as in:-
baqqaal = green grocer
bazzaaz= draper
sayyaad= hunter
najjaar= carpenter
'attaar = perfurmer
Haddaad= black-smith
Naseer
Rajiv Chakravarti
Sure, Naseer sahab -- I agree with you completely. Hence, I also gave
the "Khayyaam" example previously. I was going to mention also (but
decided against) that the "tashdeed" presence for the occupation is
almost a "general" rule applied to Arabic words conveying "profession/
occupation" such as the ones you also mentioned.
-RC
Baad-e-Siyaah
aadaab!
ghazal pesh karne ka shukriya. ghazal behtareen hai, taqreeban sabhi
she'r ausat se behtar haiN.
> guzar miraa tire kuuche meN go nahiiN to nah ho
> mire Khayaal meN tuu laakh baar guzre hai
is she'r meN mujhe baar baar dhoka ho rahaa hai ke duusre misre meN
'tuu' ke bajaaye ' to' hona chaahiye. guzar lafz ke do maani haiN ->
pass by aur living. pahle misre meN double negative suggests ->
guzarna tere kuuche se nah ke baraabar hai, duusre misre meN bataayaa
jaataa hai keh 'Khayaal meN to laakh bar guzarna (tere kuuche se) hai.
aap ka kyaa khayaal hai?
aadaab arz hai
Baad e Siyaah
Naseer
Abdul Rahim* Sahib, aadaab-o-tasliimaat.
May I take this opportunity to welcome you to ALUP. There is a dearth
of participants in this group and your presence here will make a
considerable difference. Please do keep up the good work.
* This is of course just a guess. Apologies if I have got it totally
wrong!:-)
Khair-Khvaah,
Naseer
Naseer
Anil Sahib, aadaab 'arz hai.
guzar miraa tire kuuche meN go nahiiN to nah ho
mire Khayaal meN *tuu* laakh baar guzre hai
I took the meaning that...
Though I do not visit your lane, it matters not
*You* pass through my mind no end of times
Put simply...
Though I am unable to visit you for one reason or another
Please don't assume I have stopped thinking about you
guzar miraa tire kuuche meN go nahiiN to nah ho
mire Khayaal meN to laakh baar guzre hai
Though I do not visit your lane, it matters not
I have thought about [visiting your lane] no end
Take the meaning of "kuuchah" as "ghar" here. "kuuche se guzar", would
imply passing through the lane, where as "kuuche meN guzar" indicates
a stoppage along the lane.
I prefer the meaning with "tuu". With "to", one has to include "kuuche
meN guzar" in the second line too. By the way, I am not happy with my
translation of "to nah ho" as "it matters not".
Could it be that Sauda had the following reason for not visiting his
beloved?
jaanaa paRaa raqiib ke dar par hazaar baar
ai kaash jaantaa nah tirii rahguzar ko maiN
Ghalib
Naseer
arahim
Shook-re-ya. Go keh idhar ka rukh pehlay bhi kiya hai per baat hai yeh
ursa e daraaz ki.
> * This is of course just a guess. Apologies if I have got it totally
> wrong!:-)
atif:)
> Khair-Khvaah,
> Naseer- Hide quoted text -