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aek qit'a!

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Raj Kumar

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Apr 16, 2013, 7:31:12 PM4/16/13
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naazireen-e-adab, aek jazbaati sa qit'a aap sab ki Khidmat meiN pesh kar rahaa hooN --- gar qubool uftad!

arz hai k

tum ko'ii dil-nisheeN pahelii ho
yaa ko'ii dil-fareb raaz ho tum
duur itne k kahkashaaN se parey
paas itne k meri zaat meiN gum!

du'aa-go,
Raj Kumar 'Qais'

Naseer

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Apr 16, 2013, 7:46:56 PM4/16/13
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vaah vaah, Raj Kumar SaaHib. kyaa baat hai! yaqiin maaniye, mazah aa
gayaa hai!

ab saa'iNs kii baat! zaahir hai kih aap hamaarii kahkashaaN (ya3nii
kih duudh vaalii) kii baat nahiiN kar rahe balkih us se pare vaalii
kii taraf aap kaa ishaarah ho gaa?

duusraa savaal. kyaa aap ko ma3luum hai kih "gar qubuul uftad" kahaaN
se aayaa hai? kyaa yih kisii shaa3ir ke kalaam se axaz kiyaa gayaa
hai?

iraadat-mand,

Naseer

Prashant Singh

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Apr 17, 2013, 1:14:35 PM4/17/13
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wah Raj saaHib wah!
Aap kaa fan hooN maiN..
Bahut khoobsoorat qita pesh kee aap ne..
Dil khush ho gaYa !! :)

vij...@gmail.com

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Apr 17, 2013, 5:25:51 PM4/17/13
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Bohat Khuub Raj sahib, kyaa kehne. wah wah!! Your simile for 'duur' was so beautiful that I couldn't imagine you could improve upon something so wonderful. And yet, you go on to do exactly that in your very next line in your simile for 'qurbat'. 'zaat meN gum' is so very unique. Congratulations for coming up with this gem!

This house has been so bereft of original poetry by its residents that your poetry has come as a most welcome respite.

Do post more, whenever it catches your fancy!

Thanks,

Vijay

Raj Kumar

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Apr 19, 2013, 7:25:10 PM4/19/13
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On Tuesday, April 16, 2013 4:46:56 PM UTC-7, Naseer wrote:
> On Apr 17, 12:31 am, Raj Kumar <rpath...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > naazireen-e-adab, aek jazbaati sa qit'a aap sab ki Khidmat meiN pesh kar rahaa hooN --- gar qubool uftad!
>
> > arz hai k

> > tum ko'ii dil-nisheeN pahelii ho
>
> > yaa ko'ii dil-fareb raaz ho tum
>
> > duur itne k kahkashaaN se parey
>
> > paas itne k meri zaat meiN gum!

-------------------

> vaah vaah, Raj Kumar SaaHib. kyaa baat hai! yaqiin maaniye, mazah aa
>
> gayaa hai!

mamnoon hooN, huzoor, k aap ko Khaaksaar ki yeh kaavish pasaNd aayii!

>
> ab saa'iNs kii baat! zaahir hai kih aap hamaarii kahkashaaN (ya3nii
>
> kih duudh vaalii) kii baat nahiiN kar rahe balkih us se pare vaalii
>
> kii taraf aap kaa ishaarah ho gaa?

kaun jaane, Naseer saahib, k mera ishaara "is duudh vaalii" ki taraf hai yaa k "us duudh vaalii" ki taraf? ;)
ba-har-haal, maqaam-e-shukr hai k mere is haqeer misr'e ne kam-az-kam aap ko to tazabzub meiN Daal diyaa naa? :)


> duusraa savaal. kyaa aap ko ma3luum hai kih "gar qubuul uftad" kahaaN
>
> se aayaa hai? kyaa yih kisii shaa3ir ke kalaam se axaz kiyaa gayaa
>
> hai?

Frankly, I don't know the precise origin of this 'tarkeeb' but I do remember having seen it used in one of Dilaavar Figaar's compositions:

aek beTaa hai hamaaraa 'naa-khalaf'
gar qubool uftad, zahe izz-o-sharaf! :)

du'aa-go,
Raj Kumar

Raj Kumar

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Apr 20, 2013, 8:21:23 PM4/20/13
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On Wednesday, April 17, 2013 10:14:35 AM UTC-7, Prashant Singh wrote:
> On Apr 17, 4:31 am, Raj Kumar <rpath...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > naazireen-e-adab, aek jazbaati sa qit'a aap sab ki Khidmat meiN pesh kar rahaa hooN --- gar qubool uftad!

> > arz hai k

> > tum ko'ii dil-nisheeN pahelii ho
>
> > yaa ko'ii dil-fareb raaz ho tum
>
> > duur itne k kahkashaaN se parey
>
> > paas itne k meri zaat meiN gum!


> wah, Raj saaHib, wah!
>
> Aap kaa fan hooN maiN..

yaqeen jaaniye, Prashant saahib, k Khaaksaar ne baRii muddat ke ba'ad lafz 'fan' kaa muNh dekhaa hai ---- go k aek zamaana aisaa bhi thaa k

ham par bhi haseenoN ka karam thaa ik roz
is qaum meiN apnaa bhi bharam thaa ik roz
'aavaarah nigaahoN' ki guzar-gaah hai ab
yeh chehra k nazroN ka haram thaa ik roz

> Bahut khoobsoorat qita pesh kee aap ne..
>
> Dil khush ho gaYa !! :)

qit'e ki sitaa'ish ke liye mamnoon hooN, saahib. agar khaaksaar ka yeh qit'a aap ko pasaNd aayaa to yooN samajhiye k is faqeer-e-be-taqseer ki mehnat bar aa'ii!

du'aaa-go,
Raj Kumar

Raj Kumar

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Apr 21, 2013, 5:34:33 PM4/21/13
to

On Wednesday, April 17, 2013 2:25:51 PM UTC-7, vij...@gmail.com wrote:
> On Wednesday, 17 April 2013 00:31:12 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:
>
> > naazireen-e-adab, aek jazbaati sa qit'a aap sab ki Khidmat meiN pesh kar rahaa hooN --- gar qubool uftad!


> > tum ko'ii dil-nisheeN pahelii ho

> > yaa ko'ii dil-fareb raaz ho tum

> > duur itne k kahkashaaN se parey

> > paas itne k meri zaat meiN gum!


> Bohat Khuub, Raj sahib, kyaa kehne. wah wah!! Your simile for 'duur' was so beautiful that I couldn't imagine you could improve upon something so wonderful. And yet, you go on to do exactly that in your very next line in your simile for 'qurbat'. 'zaat meN gum' is so very unique. Congratulations for coming up with this gem!

***daad-o-sitaa'ish ke liye mamnoon hooN, Vijay saahib. yaqeen jaaniye, is qit'e ke muKhtalif misroN par aap ke ta'assuraat ain bar-haq haiN.

rahaa savaal yeh k is qit'e ke teesre misr'e ke ba'ad yeh chautha misr'a kaise naazil hu'aa to arz hai k, is kaavish ke dauraan, mere zehn meiN Khud apna aek puraana sh'er ubhraa, jis ka duusra misr'a thaa:

TU SAMAA GAYAA MERI RUUH MEIN, maiN Ghazal meiN tujh ko samo gayaa!

I went ahead and took a leap from "ruuh meiN samaana" to "zaat meiN gum ho jaaana" --- and the fourth misr'a was done!***

> This house has been so bereft of original poetry by its residents that your poetry has come as a most welcome respite.

***yeh to vuhii baat hu'ii k, ba-qaul-e-Qais,

'dasht-o-saihraa' baneN ge 'bazm-e-suKhan'
ham kisii ke to kaam aayeN ge!!! ***

>
> Do post more, whenever it catches your fancy!

*** I will ---- magar kyaa kruuN, Vijay saahib, meri chhoTi beTi ke inteqaal ne mujhe jhaNjhoR kar rakh diyaa hai! :(

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***

nages...@yahoo.com

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Apr 23, 2013, 9:30:22 AM4/23/13
to
Raj Kumar Sahib:

It is a great pleasure to see you back on ALUP, and I look forward to your many contributions. I wish it was as easy for us to share your sorrow as it is to enjoy your poetry.

Regards,

Nagesh

vij...@gmail.com

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Apr 23, 2013, 5:11:52 PM4/23/13
to
On Sunday, April 21, 2013 10:34:33 PM UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:

>
> rahaa savaal yeh k is qit'e ke teesre misr'e ke ba'ad yeh chautha misr'a kaise naazil hu'aa to arz hai k, is kaavish ke dauraan, mere zehn meiN Khud apna aek puraana sh'er ubhraa, jis ka duusra misr'a thaa:
>
>
>
> TU SAMAA GAYAA MERI RUUH MEIN, maiN Ghazal meiN tujh ko samo gayaa!
>
>
>
> I went ahead and took a leap from "ruuh meiN samaana" to "zaat meiN gum ho jaaana" --- and the fourth misr'a was done!***
>


bohat shukriia Raj sahib sha'irii ke fa'il ke kucch raaz hameN bataane kaa! aap kii dii huii yeh misaal bohat dilchasp rahii. If I may say so, where you finallly ended up, shows how a good thought can be refined further and improved upon! Once again, very well done indeed.
>
> > This house has been so bereft of original poetry by its residents that your poetry has come as a most welcome respite.
>
>
>
> ***yeh to vuhii baat hu'ii k, ba-qaul-e-Qais,
>
>
>
> 'dasht-o-saihraa' baneN ge 'bazm-e-suKhan'
>
> ham kisii ke to kaam aayeN ge!!! ***
>
>


wah wah! yeh she'r pehle nahiin suna thaa. bohat Khuub. There are many people who have a she'r for every occasion. There are one or two here on ALUP. But you go a step further. You have a she'r for every occasion and it is your own she'r:-)



>
> > Do post more, whenever it catches your fancy!
>
>
>
> *** I will ---- magar kyaa kruuN, Vijay saahib, meri chhoTi beTi ke inteqaal ne mujhe jhaNjhoR kar rakh diyaa hai! :(
>
>
>

Raj sahib, we all felt your loss but it will not be fair or correct to say that anyone can truly get the measure of your sorrow, your anguish.

One hopes that with time, your suffering will lessen somewhat. Let's hope your sense of loss sublimates into creativity, your poetry. And that you will continue to visit us through this magical medium of the internet and share it with us.

Dushyant Kumar ka ik she'r yaad aa rahah hai:

piir parbat ho chalii hai, ab pighalanii chaahie
is himaala se koii gaNga nikalanii chaahiie

With very best regards,


Vijay Kumar




Raj Kumar

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Apr 23, 2013, 7:03:20 PM4/23/13
to

On Tuesday, April 23, 2013 6:30:22 AM UTC-7, nages...@yahoo.com wrote:

> Raj Kumar Sahib:

> It is a great pleasure to see you back on ALUP, and I look forward to your many contributions. I wish it was as easy for us to share your sorrow as it is to enjoy your poetry.

*** yaad-aavarii ke liye mamnoon hooN, Nagesh saahib, aur hausala-afzaa ta'assuraat k liye aur bhii ziyaada!

huzoor, koshish to zaruur karooN ga k is baahami guft-o-shuneed ka silsila taa-der qaa'im rahe
---
aage, ba-qaul-e-shaa'ir,

dekhiye, kyaa dikhaata hai yeh 'scene'
pardah uThne ki muntazir hai nigaah!

du'aa-go,
Raj Kumar***

vab...@gmail.com

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Jun 5, 2013, 1:49:26 AM6/5/13
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haiN aur bhii duniyaa meN suKhanwar bohat achchhe
beshak magar hai 'Qais' kaa andaaz-e-bayaaN aur!

Raj kumar saahab,
aadaab arz hai.
aapka taaza kalaam dekh kar jee Khush ho gayaa.
qit'a laa-javaab hai.

Vasmi

Raj Kumar

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Jun 17, 2013, 6:42:16 PM6/17/13
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On Tuesday, June 4, 2013 10:49:26 PM UTC-7, vab...@gmail.com wrote:

> haiN aur bhii duniyaa meN suKhanwar bohat achchhe
> beshak magar hai 'Qais' kaa andaaz-e-bayaaN aur!

***she'r Khuub hai, Vasmi saahib, albatta is ka duusra misr'a (zaraa saa) Khaarij-az-baihr hai --- saheeh misr'a "GHAALIBan" yooN hai:

kehte haiN k hai 'Qais' ka andaaz-e-bayaaN aur! ;) ***

>
> Raj kumar saahab,
>
> aadaab arz hai.
>
> aapka taaza kalaam dekh kar jee Khush ho gayaa.
>
> qit'a laa-javaab hai.

***daad-dehi ke liye mamnoon hooN, saahib. ummeed hai k aa'inda bhi mulaaqaat hoti rahe gi!

Khair-aNdesh,
Raj Kumar***
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