Faiz, Umar Khayyam, Fitzgerald and Translation of Urdu Poetry
il_...@yahoo.com
Controversies regarding Fitzgerald's translation of Umar Khayyam still
persist. Even then, there is a considerable degree of common agreement
on certain points, viz.
(a) Many quatrains cannot be definitively identified as having been
composed by Umar Khayyam
(b) In many (if not most) cases, the translation does not conform to the
the original quatrain
(c) Fitzgerald has tried to make it look like a long continuous poem
(something like Wordsworth's The Prelude) whereas each original
quatrain is self-contained and stands on its own
(d) Basically, it is Fitzgerald's OWN interpretation that has been put
into verse form
(e) The translation is good poetry in itself and that is the chief cause
of its popularity
In addition to the above, I think one reason for the popularity of
Fitzgerald is that his translation came about at the right time---
in a historical sense. The period of Umar Khayyam's poetic output
can be placed (roughly) as between 1070 and 1120. Had they been
discovered and translated even in the 16th or 17th century, I doubt
whether they would have come down to us (except perhaps as a piece of
historical antiquity). On the other hand, if they had been translated
in this day and age (or even during the past 70/80 years), the trans-
lation's popularity would have been nowhere near that which Fitzgerald's
work achieved. The point I am trying to make is that both Fitzgerald
and his translation came at the most opportune time---that period being
some sort of a Golden Age for oriental research. Since then there have
been no fresh/worthwhile translations of Umar Khayyam, to my knowledge.
Another question that can be asked here is whether the work led to any
widespread interest in Khayyam or the Persian poetry during that period.
I think not. People read Fitzgerald for his own sake. Khayyam himself
remained somewhat obscure. An additional point to be noted in this
connection is that Khayyam is not regarded so highly in his own country
as in the West, even though the diction, imagery and allegories in his
poetry were expectedly much better understood in Iran itself. On the
other hand, other Persian poets of that era e.g. Anwari and Khaaqaani
(both belonging to the 12th century) are still considered amongst the
best exponents of Persian poetry. Another difficulty, I think, lies in
a certain amount of ambiguity that exists in interpreting Khayyam's
quatrains. He can be regarded as a Sufi/mystic poet or (perhaps with
equal justification) as an Epicurean concealing his materialistic/
worldly philosophy behind metaphysical metaphors. This is of course
a very controversial subject and one need not go into it.
By way of contrast, both Ghalib and Faiz are extremely well-known
and almost universally acknowledged as two of the best exponents of
Urdu poetry. There have been books galore written about them and
this process will continue. Of course, they also happen to be compara-
tively recent, in a historical sense. Also, there is a certain univer-
sality ("aafaaqiyat" perhaps ?) in their poetry which has made their
work so popular. In contrast, there is something quaint about Umar
Khayyam's philosophy which (along with his historical remoteness) makes
him much less popular in this day and age.
Now we can examine whether Ghalib and Faiz need to be translated
into English. The difficulties inherent in such translation (like
retaining the original flavour etc.) have already been commented upon
and I do not propose to dilate upon the same. For whom are these
translations needed ? There are not too many people around (even
Urdu-knowing people) who can assimilate and appreciate Ghalib and
Faiz to any great extent. The number of such people (from amongst the
non-Urdu knowing populace) must be fewer still. We all know about the
cost of publication and the prices of books. Apart from literary
merit, the commercial viability of such a venture is also to be taken
into account. Otherwise, it would be a back-breaking and heart-breaking
job. My personal feeling is that this can be done (on a piecemeal basis)
purely in order to give an expression to one's own creative urge. But
it would be most difficult and a very risky proposition if done on a
large scale. We can leave it to those Westerners who (without fear of
monetary failure) can afford to find the financial werewithal to under-
take such jobs. I am sure Sethi Sahib would have been far happier if ,
let us say, 20 people in this Newsgroup had responded to his attempt at
translating Faiz. But how many did actually respond ? Another alter-
native would be to find politically powerful sponsors who can arrange
governmental funding. But I would not like to think along those lines.
The point I am trying to make is that this is not a purely literary
question. Other weighty considerations are involved. This is a sobering
thought for even those people who, like Sethi Sahib, can seriously
try their hand at bringing out an English translation of Ghalib or Faiz.
Of course, for purposes of this Newsgroup discussion, such attempts are
more than welcome and each one of us should try to strengthen Sethi
Sahib's resolve in posting more such translations.
We come now to the qit'a translated by him. I think those of our
friends who are not very familiar with Urdu would appreciate it more if
it is rendered in the following manner :
Deewaar-e-shab aur aks-e-rukh-e-yaar saamne
Phir dil ke aaine se lahu phootne laga
Phir waz'e ehtiyaat se dhundla gayi nazar
Phir zabt-e-aarzoo se badan tootne laga
A rough explanation in English would be something along the following
lines :
I am enveloped by the darkness of night. And yet I can
clearly visualize the visage of my beloved. And looking
at that image, my dismay, my disappointment, my sense of
hopelessness (at my unrequited love) make my heart bleed
once again. And yet my sense of decorum and deference for
my mehboob bind me in chains of restraint. And that has
caused my vision to blur. My gaze is no longer steadfast.
My desires
yearn for release, trying to break these bonds. I am
tormented by this confict...(O God, what CAN I do ?)
Now for the poetic delicacies :
"Deewaar" is used in the sense of a vast canvas on which my imagina-
tion has etched my beloved's image. "Dil" has been compared to an
"aaina" which has faithfully recorded the reflected image. In other
words, both my mind and heart are filled with thoughts of my beloved.
"Lahu phootne laga" is an evocative tarkeeb enabling the reader to
visualize the process of blood oozing through, drop by drop--- a sort
of prolonged anguish and pain. "Waz'a" refers to the attitudinal
response of the lover which he is determined to continue, come what
may. And that attitude is one of "ehtiyaat" or deference for the
beloved. The lover does not want to cause any pain or embarrassment to
his mehboob. He does not want his yearnings, his unrequited love
to become known, lest they embarrass his beloved. He has imposed on
himself these chains of restraint voluntarily. The observance of
these restraints, though, is becoming too much to bear, as his desires
and yearnings try to break these shackles. He is caught between these
conflicting emotions and does not know what to do.
This is of course my interpretation in my own words. Experts can
offer their comments. Sethi Sahib has done a fine job of putting
these thoughts into verse form. I have just a couple of points to
make. "Caution", in my humble opinion, does not quite convey the
same sense as the word "ehtiyaat", which is a combination of decorum,
refined sensibilities, deference, respect and consideration (all
rolled into one). Caution can be for one's own sake. "Ehtiyaat"
is primarily for the sake of the beloved. Secondly, the chains
are not those of desire. The chains are restraints imposed (volun-
tarily) by "zabt-e-aarzoo" or suppression of desires.
In conclusion, these lines of Faiz remind me of the following
sher by Ghalib :
Phir waz'e ehtiyaat se rukne laga hai dum
Barson huwe hain chaak girebaaN kiye huwe
"Rukne laga hai dum" is a far superior tarkeeb, so typical of Ghalib.
Khuloos-kesh
Afzal
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ahm...@noka.ub.bw
il_...@yahoo.com wrote:
> I have been reading with great interest the various posts on this topic.
> Controversies regarding Fitzgerald's translation of Umar Khayyam still
> persist. Even then, there is a considerable degree of common agreement
> on certain points, viz.
....
> This is a sobering
> thought for even those people who, like Sethi Sahib, can seriously
> try their hand at bringing out an English translation of Ghalib or Faiz.
> Of course, for purposes of this Newsgroup discussion, such attempts are
> more than welcome and each one of us should try to strengthen Sethi
> Sahib's resolve in posting more such translations.
> Khuloos-kesh
> Afzal
>
hmmm, mehfil rang par aa rahi hai! But as a (temporary) diversion from this
subject, I would like us to see the other side of the picture -- i.e. how
the masters, on their part, have translated others' work into Urdu.
Fortunately, we have an example from Faiz himself; his collection,
Naqsh-e-faryaadi has a poem, "Haseena-e-Khayaal Se", which is a translation
of a poem by Robert Browning. I quote both the poems. We can all decide for
ourselves as to how effective the translation is, and how well it conveys the
meaning of the original poem. But more importantly, how the poem compares
with the rest of the work of Faiz. Does it seem as inspired, or does it
appear contrived?
I am quoting the original later, to enable Yogesh Sahib, Nagesh Sahib and
anyone else who wants to give it a try, to translate the poem back into
English and compare with the original.
Haseena-e-Khayaal Se
Mujhe dey dey
Raseele hont, maasoomaana peshaani, haseen aankhen
keh main ik baar phir rangeenion men gharq ho jaaoon
meri hastee ko tairi ik nazar aaghosh men ley ley
hamaisha ke liye is daam men mahfooz ho jaaoon
zia-e-husn se zulmaat-e-duniya men na phir aaoon
Guzashta hasraton ke daagh maire dil se dhul jaa'en
Main aane waale gham ki fikr se aazaad ho jaaoon
mere maazi-o-mustaqbil saraasar mehv ho jaa'en
Mujhe wuh ik nazar jaawedaani si nazar dey dey.
(maasoomanana = innocent; gharq = drown; hastee = being, existence; aaghosh
= lap, embrace (n); daam = trap; zia = light; zulmaat = darkness,
maazi-o-mustaqbil = past and future; saraasar = thoroughly; mehv = erase; and
of course, jaawedaani, from the recently discussed jaawedaan: eternal,
immortal).
Now the original:
Eurydic to Orpheus: A picture by Leighton.
But give them me, the mouth, the eyes the brow!
Let them once more absorb me! One look now
Will lap me round for ever, not to pass
Out of its light, though darkness lie beyond
Hold me but safe again within the bond
Of one immortal look! All woe that was,
Forgotten, and all terror that may be,
Defied, -- no past is mine, no future: look at me!
____________________________________________
Jamil Ahmad
Padmanabhan Srinagesh
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This is a most interesting exercise. I will attempt a translation, but
I doubt that it will be like the original. It will take some time.
Let me point out that Faiz has also translated from Turkish to Urdu.
Here as his views on translation:
"Translating poetry, even when confined to a cognate language with some
formal and idiomatic affinities with the original compositions, is an
exacting task, but this task is obviously far more formidable when teh
languages involved are as far removed from each other in cultural
background, rhythmic and formal patterns, and the vocabulary of symbol
allusion as Urdu and English." (from the translations by Shiv Kumar).
Nevertheless, his translation is superb, and I prefer it to the
original. Alas, I cannot say this about any of the translations from
Urdu to English, particularly mine.
There are very few English poems I have read that could be translated to
Urdu. The obvious choice is:
"Drink to me only with thine eyes and I will pledge with mine
Or leave a kiss but in the cup and I'll not look for wine
The thirst that in the soul doth rise doth ask a drink divine
Yet might I of Jove's nectar sup, I would not change for thine"
Ben Jonson, to celia.
Nazar, paimaanaa/vaadaa, pyaalaa/kadah, bosaa,tishnaa, dil-jigar, thye
are all there.
Less well-known, but very Ghalibian (Ishq mujhko nahin vahshat hi sahi)
is the follwoing from Thomas Carew (1598-1639):
"Give me more love, or more disdain:
The torrid or the frozen zone
Bring equal ease unto my pain;
The temperate affords me none:
Either extreme of love or hate,
Is sweeter than a calm estate.
Give me a storm, if it be love,
Like Danae in that golden shower,
I swim in pleasure; if it prove
Disdain, that torrent will devour
My vulture hopes; and he's possessed
Of heaven that's but from hell released.
Then crown my joys, or cure my pain;
Give me more love or more disdain."
Padmanabhan Srinagesh
>
> > Haseena-e-Khayaal Se
> >
> > Mujhe dey dey
> > Raseele hont, maasoomaana peshaani, haseen aankhen
> > keh main ik baar phir rangeenion men gharq ho jaaoon
> > meri hastee ko tairi ik nazar aaghosh men ley ley
> > hamaisha ke liye is daam men mahfooz ho jaaoon
> > zia-e-husn se zulmaat-e-duniya men na phir aaoon
> > Guzashta hasraton ke daagh maire dil se dhul jaa'en
> > Main aane waale gham ki fikr se aazaad ho jaaoon
> > mere maazi-o-mustaqbil saraasar mehv ho jaa'en
> > Mujhe wuh ik nazar jaawedaani si nazar dey dey.
> > Jamil Ahmad
> >
Give them to me, those lips so full, that brow so smooth, enchanting
eyes
In a sea of pleasures my soul drowns, with joy it sinks, and gladly
dies.
So take my life, and with one glance enfold me in your warm embrace
Forever I will be content, ensnared in love's soft silken ties
I won't return to this dark world, and leave behind your beauty bright,
And from my heart the stains of past regrets will be erased outright.
And I will be delivered from the cares the future holds in store,
As past and future are compressed and vanish in a point of light.
Give me one look! A single look! A glance eternal, old as Time,
Fulfill the hopes of Faiz, Nagesh and Browning, now expressed in rhyme!
As I have said before, it does sound nicer in Urdu. But once you decide
to translate it to English, it is not hard to stick with the rules of
grammar, prosody (or at least syllable counts) and rhyme.
Nagesh
Abhay P
Urdu version sounds better than even Browning's English original!! By the way,
the first three lines of Faiz's translation have a more than passing similarity
to the images he uses in his nazm "aa ke waabastaa hain us husn ki yaadein
tujhse", where the last stanza goes:
"tuune dekhi hai woh peshaanii woh rukhsaar woh honth
zindagi jinke tasawwur mein lutaa dii humne
tujhpe utthii hain woh khoyi huyii zaahir aankhein
tujhko maloom hai kyuun umr gawaan dii humne"
That brow, that face, those lips (that mouth!), those eyes: even given the fact
that these would be common images in romantic poetry, their joint appearance in
two different poems in two different contexts is intriguing!
[Incidentally, one has to hear Noor Jehan's first recorded rendition of this
nazm to appreciate its full beauty. (One of her later Magnasound releases also
has the nazm, but it is a later recording and her voice and breath control are
nowhere near the original version). The original was released as an EP record
with Faiz's "tum aaye ho na shab-e-intezaar guzarii hai" on the other side. A
classic to treasure!]
Regards
Abhay
In article , Padmanabhan says...
jamil...@my-dejanews.com
All I can say is: wah wah! The translation has flow and preserves the
Urdu-ization that Faiz introduced in it: "guzashta hasraton ke daagh" and
"daam men mehfooz ho jaaoon". I'll leave "Ustad ki islaah" to Raj Sahib, but
shouldn't the second line in the re-translation reflect the WISH of the poet
to have all those things rather than a fact that he has? Shoudn't there be a
"may" or "might" rather than "is"? It does the change the meaning.
Jamil
jamil...@my-dejanews.com
> Controversies regarding Fitzgerald's translation of Umar Khayyam still
> persist. Even then, there is a considerable degree of common agreement
> on certain points, viz.
...
> There are not too many people around (even
> Urdu-knowing people) who can assimilate and appreciate Ghalib and
> Faiz to any great extent. The number of such people (from amongst the
> non-Urdu knowing populace) must be fewer still. We all know about the
> cost of publication and the prices of books. Apart from literary
> merit, the commercial viability of such a venture is also to be taken
> into account. Otherwise, it would be a back-breaking and heart-breaking
> job. My personal feeling is that this can be done (on a piecemeal basis)
> purely in order to give an expression to one's own creative urge. But
> it would be most difficult and a very risky proposition if done on a
> large scale. We can leave it to those Westerners who (without fear of
> monetary failure) can afford to find the financial werewithal to under-
> take such jobs.
>
> Khuloos-kesh
>
> Afzal
>
In the 1960's, a chair was established at Harvard University for studies on
Meer Taqi Meer and Ghalib, from the endowment made in the will of Amanullah,
an Afghan national, who had invented the "Minute Rice". (I may have the name
of the benefactor wrong.) I wonder if anyone knows if the chair continues to
this day, and what its output has been.
Jamil Ahmad
Padmanabhan Srinagesh
> Urdu-ization that Faiz introduced in it: "guzashta hasraton ke daagh" and
> "daam men mehfooz ho jaaoon". I'll leave "Ustad ki islaah" to Raj Sahib, but
> shouldn't the second line in the re-translation reflect the WISH of the poet
> to have all those things rather than a fact that he has? Shoudn't there be a
> "may" or "might" rather than "is"? It does the change the meaning.
>
> Jamil
>
> http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
Thanks to Abhay and Jamil Sahibs for their kind comments. I find my
small acts of creativity an enjoyable way to pass the time; they take my
mind off my work, and for a few moments I feel rested. Beyond that
there is little to be said.
I had never thought about the possibility of translating English into
Urdu until Jamil Sahib posted Faiz's translation of Browning on ALUP.
In a follow up, I posted two English poems that I thought had some
similarities with Urdu ghazals. I wonder whether they can be rendered
into Urdu? Would anyone care to try? I imagine that translation from
English to Urdu ghazals is harder than translation in the reverse
direction, since Urdu meter and Qafiaa/radeef are more restrictive than
the usual rules of Urdu poetry.
So here are two candidates for Urduization, again:
"Drink to me only with thine eyes and I will pledge with mine
Or leave a kiss but in the cup and I'll not look for wine
The thirst that in the soul doth rise doth ask a drink divine
Yet might I of Jove's nectar sup, I would not change for thine"
Ben Jonson, to celia.
Less well-known, but very Ghalibian (Ishq mujhko nahin vahshat hi sahi,
or even Vaarasta us se hain, mohabbat hee kyon na ho; keeje hamaare
saath, adaawat hi kyon na ho)
is the follwoing from Thomas Carew (1598-1639):
"Give me more love, or more disdain:
The torrid or the frozen zone
Bring equal ease unto my pain;
The temperate affords me none:
Either extreme of love or hate,
Is sweeter than a calm estate.
Give me a storm, if it be love,
Like Danae in that golden shower,
I swim in pleasure; if it prove
Disdain, that torrent will devour
My vulture hopes; and he's possessed
Of heaven that's but from hell released.
Then crown my joys, or cure my pain;
Give me more love or more disdain."
Nagesh