tujh se ruuThe to kayee roz na Khud se bole!

Raj Kumar

unread,

May 1, 2016, 5:57:08 PM5/1/16

to

yaaraan-e-maHfil:

aek bhuuli-bisri Ghazal aap sabhoN ki nazr hai --- gar qubuul uftad!

Hasb-e-ma'amuul, har saaHib-e-suKhan ke ta'assuraat ka intezaar rahe ga!

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar

---------

matl'a arz hai:

1. tujh se ruuThe to kayee roz na Khud se bole
baar-haa teri hi yaadoN ke dareeche khole

2. tuu bhi Khaamosh hai, tasveer bhi terii Khaamosh
ko'ii to baat kare, ko'ii to ham se bole

3. ham agar tujh pe fidaa haiN to baRii baat hai kyaa?
dekh le tujh ko to Bhagvaan ka bhii man Dole

4. meri taKh'eel mirii zaat se aage na baRhii
teri aaNkhoN ne kayee bhed jahaaN ke khole

5. meri taufeeq bhi kam hai, miri auqaat bhi kam
kyaa zaruurii hai k voh aaNkh mujhii ko tole

6. aaj kii raat to jii bhar ke hameN ronaa hai
jis ko sonaa hai, baRe shauq se jaaye --- so le!

7. jis ke daaman pe numaayaaN hai ko'ii bhii dhabba
meri maane to use ashk bahaa kar dho le

8. ham ne har roz hi maaNgii haiN du'aaeN, lekin
na kabhii haath uThaaye, na kabhii lab khole

9. zauq-e-parvaaz hi kaafii tha uRaanoN ke liye
na kabhii paNkh hilaaye, na kabhii par tole

10. ham ne is baiHr-e-kam-o-kaif meN kyaa kuchh na kiyaa
kabhi tuufaan uThaaye, kabhi motii role

11. mere baare meN bhalaa maut ka manshaa kyaa hai?
sochtii hai k "voh aaye, mira ghuuNghaT khole"

12. log mushtaaq bhi haiN, gosh-bar-aavaaz bhi haiN
Qais ko chaahiye, aise meN zabaaN to khole

vij...@gmail.com

unread,

May 2, 2016, 10:31:22 AM5/2/16

to

Raj Kumar sahib,

yih Ghazal to jaani pehchaani lagii, shayad aap se bazm-e-adab meN sunii bhii thii lekin Sahra Sahra meN to ise kaii baar paRhaa hai. Ghazal boaht Khuub hai aur jin dostoN ne ise pehle nahiiN sunaa ya paRhaa, voh zaruur is se lut'f-aNdoz hoNge. she'r no. 11 to mujhe marte dam tak yaad rahegaa! kya kehne janaab. aur she'r no 6 meN - so le- radiif ka istemaal bohat pasaNd aaya.

Best regards,

Vijay

Asad

unread,

May 5, 2016, 4:01:05 AM5/5/16

to

Janaab Raj Kumar sahib. Aadaab! ab to main yahaan aap hi ki ghazlen parhne aata hun. chand ash'aar jo mujhay be-had pasand aaye ya jin men ibham hai un ke mutalliq kuch likhna chah rha hun.

Sher#4. taKh'eel ka kya matlab hai?

Sher#6. 'so le' ne khush kar dia :-) kya baat hai.

Sher#7. bohot khoob. apne kie par naadim honay se to khuda bhi muaf kar deta hai.

Sher#10. 'role' khuch maza nahin de raha. kya ye lafz urdu men musta'mil hai?

Sher#11. khoob. maza aaya.

Sher#12. zabaan kholne ki jaga kuch aur hona chahiye tha.

Asad

Raj Kumar

unread,

May 5, 2016, 8:27:56 PM5/5/16

to

On Monday, May 2, 2016 at 7:31:22 AM UTC-7, vij...@gmail.com wrote:

yih Ghazal to jaani pehchaani lagii, shayad aap se bazm-e-adab meN sunii bhii thii lekin Sahra Sahra meN to ise kaii baar paRhaa hai. Ghazal boaht Khuub hai aur jin dostoN ne ise pehle nahiiN sunaa ya paRhaa, voh zaruur is se lut'f-aNdoz hoNge.

***janaab Vijay saaHib:

Ghazal aap ke liye nayee na sahii, phir bhi aap ne ise "qaNd-e-mukarrar" jaan kar is se lutf to uThaayaa hi naa? ummeed hai, deegar dostoN ko bhi Ghazal pasaNd aa'ii hogii.***

she'r no. 11 to mujhe marte dam tak yaad rahe gaa! kya kehne, janaab. aur she'r no 6 meN - so le- radiif ka istemaal bohat pasaNd aaya.

***aap ke in dono mushaahidaat ke liye, aap ka bahut bahut shukriya!

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***

Raj Kumar

unread,

May 5, 2016, 9:05:29 PM5/5/16

to

On Thursday, May 5, 2016 at 1:01:05 AM UTC-7, Asad wrote:

Janaab Raj Kumar sahib. Aadaab!

ab to main yahaan aap hi ki ghazlen parhne aata hun.

***You made my day, Asad saaHib!***

chand ash'aar jo mujhay be-had pasand aaye ya jin men ibham hai un ke mutalliq kuch likhna chah raha hun.

***chaliye, dekhte haiN aap ke ta’assuraat-o-savaalaat.***

Sher#4. taKh'eel ka kya matlab hai?

***Whereas taKhayyul means thought/imagination,
taKh’eel means the “faculty/process” of thinking/imagining.***

Sher#6. 'so le' ne khush kar dia :-) kya baat hai.

***aur mujhe aap ke is ‘comment’ ne Khush kar diyaa!*** ☺

Sher#7. bohot khoob. apne ki’e par naadim honay se to khuda bhi muaf kar deta hai.

***Well said, Sir!***

Sher#10. 'role' khuch maza nahin de raha. kya ye lafz urdu men musta'mil hai?

***”moti rolnaa” is a standard phrase in our language and, I would say, is in fair use --- perhaps more so in Hindi than in Urdu.

If you look up the detailed meanings of the verb “rolnaa” in, say, Platts, you’ll see how relevant the phrase “moti rolnaa” is.***

Sher#11. khoob. maza aaya.

***Same here!*** ☺

Sher#12. zabaan kholne ki jaga kuch aur hona chahiye tha.

***I agree --- “zabaan kholnaa” isn’t a very good phrase to use here, it reminds me of the following usage:

aaj na maiN bhii reh sakaa, meri zabaaN bhii khul gayee
jo na sunaana chaahiye, maiN ne vuhii sunaa diyaa

So, how about this instead?

“Qais ko chaahiye, aise meN zaraa lab khole”

aap ki kyaa raaye hai?

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***

Asad

unread,

May 6, 2016, 3:42:08 AM5/6/16

to

janaab Raj Kumar sahib.

bahut shukriya 'takh'eel' ki wazaahat ka.

"***"moti rolnaa" is a standard phrase in our language and, I would say, is in fair use --- perhaps more so in Hindi than in Urdu.

If you look up the detailed meanings of the verb "rolnaa" in, say, Platts, you'll see how relevant the phrase "moti rolnaa" is.*** "

ji main ne platts sahab ki lughat men dekht tha. wahaan rolna bhi tha aur rulna bhi. lekin farhang-i-asifiyyah aur ferozul lughat men in ma'non men ye lafz na mila. hairat ye hui ke 'raula dalna' bhi maujood tha jise main punjabi mahavrah hi samajhta tha..aur 'ral mil' karna bhi maujood tha. khair, platts men ye hai to theek hi hoga.

"aaj na maiN bhii reh sakaa, meri zabaaN bhii khul gayee
jo na sunaana chaahiye, maiN ne vuhii sunaa diyaa

So, how about this instead?

"Qais ko chaahiye, aise meN zaraa lab khole"

aap ki kyaa raaye hai? "

ab ye to Qais sahab hi batayen ge ke wo kya sunana chah rahe hain. jahan tak meri samajh hai, 'zabaan kholna' aise mauqon par bola jata hai jab koi kuch batana na chah raha ho aur majbooran bata de..jaise 'dakoo ne jab zabaan kholi to bare baron ka naam lia'

'lab kholna' aam taur par mazluumon ke lie iste'maal hota hai.

is sher main to log kuch sunne ke mushtaaq hain aur hama-tan-gosh hain to aise men to Qais sahib ko chahiye ke gala khankaaren aur apni bayaaz kholen :-)

Raj Kumar

unread,

May 6, 2016, 9:01:57 PM5/6/16

to

On Friday, May 6, 2016 at 12:42:08 AM UTC-7, Asad wrote:

janaab Raj Kumar sahib.

bahut shukriya 'takh'eel' ki wazaahat ka.

***You are welcome, Sir!***

"***"moti rolnaa" is a standard phrase in our language and, I would say, is in fair use --- perhaps more so in Hindi than in Urdu.

If you look up the detailed meanings of the verb "rolnaa" in, say, Platts, you'll see how relevant the phrase "moti rolnaa" is.*** "

ji maiN ne platts sahab ki lughat men dekht tha. wahaan rolna bhi tha aur rulna bhi. lekin farhang-i-asifiyyah aur ferozul lughat men in ma'non men ye lafz na mila. hairat ye hui ke 'raula dalna' bhi maujood tha jise main punjabi mahavrah hi samajhta tha..aur 'ral mil' karna bhi maujood tha. khair, platts men ye hai to theek hi hoga.

***Hey, Hey, Hey --- you went too much astray! ☹

kaash-ke aap ne janaab-e-MusHafii yaa janaab-e-Mu’allif ke yeh ash’aar paRhe hote:

nahaa kar, apne muu-i-sar ko jab vuh naazniiN jhaaRe
ba-jaa-i-Khaar-o-Khas, “motii hi role” jab zamiiN jhaaRe

and look at this one

miTTii se ‘rolte haiN’ dar par tumhaare ‘motii’
dushman jo Khaak chaaTe, hiire ki vuh kanii ho***

"aaj na maiN bhii reh sakaa, meri zabaaN bhii khul gayee
jo na sunaana chaahiye, maiN ne vuhii sunaa diyaa

So, how about this instead?

"Qais ko chaahiye, aise meN zaraa lab khole"

aap ki kyaa raaye hai? "

ab ye to Qais sahab hi batayen ge ke wo kya sunaana chah rahe hain. jahan tak meri samajh hai, 'zabaan kholna' aise mauqon par bola jata hai jab koi kuch batana na chah raha ho aur majbooran bata de..jaise 'dakoo ne jab zabaan kholi to bare baron ka naam lia'

'lab kholna' aam taur par mazluumon ke lie iste'maal hota hai.

is sher main to log kuch sunne ke mushtaaq hain aur hama-tan-gosh hain to aise men to Qais sahib ko chahiye ke gala khankaaren aur apni bayaaz kholen :-)

***yeh to baRii TeRhii kheer hai, sahib, ise nigalne meN to aek umr lage gi! ☺

Khair-aNdesh, Raj kumar***

Asad

unread,

May 9, 2016, 3:01:29 AM5/9/16

to

Janab Raj Kumar Sahab

main samajh gayaa hun. 'rolna' dar-asl punjabi men mukhtalif connotation men iste'maal hota hai main samjha us hi ma'na men istemaal kia aap ne. lekin shayad aap ne jo rolna likha hai shayad motion ki us harkat ki taraf ishara hai jo kisi ka paaun parne se paida hoti hai?

Raj Kumar

unread,

May 10, 2016, 11:06:16 AM5/10/16

to

***Not really, Asad sahib.

mera ishaara yahaaN hai to us 'amal ki jaanib jise aap "winnowing" yaa "sorting out" keh sakte haiN. goyaa, "ret, paanii aur miTTii" ke keechaR ko khaNgaalna aur us meN se "motiyoN" ko DhuuND nikaalna. yeh 'amal paaoN se naheeN bal-k haath se yaa chhalni se kiyaa jaata hai.

is zimn meN, aek aur misaal Haazir hai:

hamaare baRe bhaa'ii Zia sahib, jo partition ke ba'ad do-teen saal ke liye S.D.College, Ambala (now in the state of Haryana) meN Professor the, Urdu ki baRhti hu'ii zabuuN-Haali aur Hindi ki zabar-dasti 'imposition' se be-Had naalaaN the. is suurat-e-Haal (jis ki vajuuhaat kaafi Had tak siyaasi bhi theeN) meN unhoN ne aek tanziya nazm likkhii, jis ka unvaan tha --- "pagle kauvve, Hindii bol!"

voh nazm apne zamaane meN kaafi mash_huur hu'ii thi. us nazm ka aek baNd Haaliya baHs ke liye, ba-taur-e-reference, nihaayat mauzuuN hai; mulaaHiza farmaaiye.

GaaNdhii jii kii Hindustaanii
voh to baat thi aanii-jaanii
hone de Baapuu ki haanii
tuu voToN ke motii rol --- pagle kauvve, Hindii bol!

I thought this would help.

du'aa-go, Raj Kumar***

vij...@gmail.com

unread,

May 10, 2016, 12:02:54 PM5/10/16

to

bohat Khuub Raj sahib. Zia sahib kii puuri kavita yaad ho to hameN zaruur sunaaeN.

mere Khayaal meN Asad sahib lafz 'rolna' ko 'rulnaa' samjh rahe haiN, jis ka matlab kucch vaisa hii hai jaisa unhoN ne uupar darj kiia hai. jaise ki:

lakkhaaN sassiiaaN rul giiaN thalaaN aNdar.

Best regards,

Vijay

Asad

unread,

May 10, 2016, 1:53:18 PM5/10/16

to

Janab Raj kumar sahib. itni mahabbat ka shukriya. ye matlab to platts men tha lekin mujhe yaad parta hai keh ye lafz men ne raulna parha tha kisi lughat men. yahi mushkil thi

Raj Kumar

unread,

May 15, 2016, 6:33:01 PM5/15/16

to

On Tuesday, May 10, 2016 at 9:02:54 AM UTC-7, vij...@gmail.com wrote:
> bohat Khuub Raj sahib. Zia sahib kii puuri kavita yaad ho to hameN zaruur sunaaeN.

janaab Vijay saaHib:

is vaqt to Zia saaHib ki is nazm ka sirf yihi baNd yaad aa rahaa hai. fil-Haal, aap isi aek baNd par iktefaa kareN to inaayat hogi!

du'aa-go, Raj Kumar

Anil Kala

unread,

Jun 15, 2016, 1:51:40 PM6/15/16

to

>
> 1. tujh se ruuThe to kayee roz na Khud se bole
> baar-haa teri hi yaadoN ke dareeche khole
>

> 7. jis ke daaman pe numaayaaN hai ko'ii bhii dhabba
> meri maane to use ashk bahaa kar dho le
>

> 9. zauq-e-parvaaz hi kaafii tha uRaanoN ke liye
> na kabhii paNkh hilaaye, na kabhii par tole
>
> 10. ham ne is baiHr-e-kam-o-kaif meN kyaa kuchh na kiyaa
> kabhi tuufaan uThaaye, kabhi motii role
>

> 12. log mushtaaq bhi haiN, gosh-bar-aavaaz bhi haiN
> Qais ko chaahiye, aise meN zabaaN to khole

Kuch roz ke liye apne gaaNv (pahaaRoN) ki sair pe tha is liye is mehfil se duur rahaa (total communication blackout, uska bhi ek lutf rahaa). Ye ghazal dekh kar dil khush ho gayaa. la-javaab hai saahib. taqriiban sabhi asha'ar pahaRi dariya ki dhaaraa ke tarah ravaaN haiN. kuch alfaaz jo meri pahunch se baahar the unki bhi vazaahat ho gayi... har she'r ke doosre misre

yadooN ke dareeche khole
baRe shauq se jaaye .. so le
baat kare, koii ham se bole
pankh hilaye ....

abhi bhi zehn meN goonj rahe haiN

bohat shukriya Raj Saahib

aadaab arz hai

Anil Kala

Raj Kumar

unread,

Jun 15, 2016, 8:22:12 PM6/15/16

to

On Wednesday, June 15, 2016 at 10:51:40 AM UTC-7, Anil Kala wrote:

> 1. tujh se ruuThe to kayee roz na Khud se bole
> baar-haa teri hi yaadoN ke dareeche khole
>
> 7. jis ke daaman pe numaayaaN hai ko'ii bhii dhabba
> meri maane to use ashk bahaa kar dho le
>
> 9. zauq-e-parvaaz hi kaafii tha uRaanoN ke liye
> na kabhii paNkh hilaaye, na kabhii par tole
>
> 10. ham ne is baiHr-e-kam-o-kaif meN kyaa kuchh na kiyaa
> kabhi tuufaan uThaaye, kabhi motii role
>
> 12. log mushtaaq bhi haiN, gosh-bar-aavaaz bhi haiN
> Qais ko chaahiye, aise meN zabaaN to khole

kuchh roz ke liye apne gaaNv (pahaaRoN) ki sair pe tha, is liye is mehfil se duur rahaa (total communication blackout, uska bhi ek lutf rahaa).

***us tanhaa’ii ka kuchh apna hi lutf hoga, Anil sahib, magar aap is baat ka bhi to Khayaal kareN k, aap ki adam-maujuudagi meN, is maHfil ka kyaa Haal hu’aa hoga --- mujhe auroN ke baare meN to ma’aluum nahiiN magar Khaaksaar ka zehn to isii she’r ki raT lagaa rahaa thaa k

ko’ii aayaa na ko’ii aaye gaa
phir bhi masruuf-e-intezaar hai dil!

nateeja is faryaad ka yeh hu’aa k bil-aaKhir aap aa hi gaye!*** ☺

ye ghazal dekh kar dil khush ho gayaa. laa-javaab hai, saahib. taqriiban sabhi asha'ar pahaRi dariya ki dhaaraa ki tarah ravaaN haiN. kuch alfaaz jo meri pahunch se baahar the unki bhi vazaahat ho gayi... har she'r ke doosre misre

yaadooN ke dareeche khole

baRe shauq se jaaye .. so le

koii to mujh se bole
pankh hilaye, na kabhii par tole ....

abhi bhi zehn meN goonj rahe haiN!

***zahe naseeb k aap ko is Ghazal ke beshtar ash’aar ke duusre misr’e Khusuusi taur se pasaNd aaye --- goyaa, Khaaksaar ko apni jaaN-fishaanii ki puuri-puuri ujrat vusuul ho gayee! ☺

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***

Anil Kala

unread,

Jun 16, 2016, 12:58:54 PM6/16/16

to

Raj Sahib beech beech men jo aap phuljhaRiyaaN chhoRte haiN woh bhi kamaal ki hoti haiN jaise ye she'r

>
> ko’ii aayaa na ko’ii aaye gaa
> phir bhi masruuf-e-intezaar hai dil!
>

Agar poet Bihari ki maaneN to

satsaiya ke dohre jyun navak ke tiir
dekhan meN chhoTe lage ghaav kare gambhiir

[dohe of satsai ( seven hundred verses, a work of poet Bihari) are like arrows of a hunter, look small but impale deep]

this she'r is short crisp and very powerful on impact.
Thanks again for such gifts

Anil Kala