Shelley's "Ode To The West Wind" -- Urdu Renditions -- Concluding Part
Afzal A. Khan
And this is the last part, a second Urdu rendition.
TARAANA-E-KHIZAAN
Yak~laKHt badalti huwi 'aalam ka samaaN chal
Ik aag lagaati huwi larzaaN o tapaaN chal
Jaati huwi duniya-e-chaman ki nigaraaN chal
Aati huwi raNgeeniyoN se jalwa~fishaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
GHuNche ko chaman men jo chaTakna ho chaTak le
Jis raNg ko gulshan men chamakna ho chamak le
Gar husn-e-gulistaaN ko damakna ho damak le
Kuchh din kamar-e-baad~bahaari bhi lachak le
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Bad~mastiyoN ka daur guzar jaaye guzar jaaye
Barg-o-gul-o-sabze ka chaRha nashsha utar jaaye
Yeh baz'm soo-e-'adam KHaak~basar jaaye
Sheeraaza-e-gulzaar bikhar jaaye bikhar jaaye
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaan chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
PhooloN ke chiraaGHaaN ko bujha de to bujha de
Aate hi gulistaaN men ik aNdher macha de
Har baaGH ko ik nakhat-e-barbaad bana de
Gulzaar, har gulzaar luTa de to luTa de
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Arbaab-e-chaman ko kafan-e-KHaak uRhaati
Baaleedagi har zarre men aati hai chhupaati
Tu marg-e-nabaataat hai, tu rooh banaati
Ya jaan-e-numoo mauj-e-fana ban ke hai aati
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Phoole huwe gulzaar ko weeraan kiya hai
Taa-uus ko uRti huwi naagin ne Dasa hai
Ik qahr hai, aafat hai, qiyaamat hai, bala hai
Ya baaGH men lehraayee huwi barq-e-fana hai
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Sookha jo chaman aur miTi shaan-e-gulistaaN
Kya jaaniye kyoN husn bana soKHta~saamaaN
Har zarre se ab wus'at-e-sehra hai numaayaaN
'Aalam hai naya baaGH ka yeh qariya-e-weeraaN
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Sau tarh(e) se aabaad haiN duniya men watan bhi
Behlaate haiN insaan ko ujRe huwe ban bhi
Be~kaif naheeN be~gul-o-be~barg chaman bhi
Hai dekhne ki cheez yeh 'uryaani-e-tan bhi
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
WeeraaniyoN se KHitta-e-gulzaar kar aabaad
AabaadiyoN se 'arsa-e-gulzaar kar aazaad
Aaye nazar ik 'aalam-e-hoo, har dil-e-naashaad
Yeh kehne lage : "ab gul-o-gulzaar naheeN yaad"
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Har nakhat o har raNg-e-gulistaaN ko miTaa de
Har tafriqa, har tarh(a) kee tamyeez uTha de
Gulzaar ko har qaid-e-ta'ayyun se chhuRa de
Ik jalwa-e-be~kaif gulistaaN ko bana de
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
PhooloN ko bhara jaam shahaadat ka pila de
Sar~mastee-e-gulzaar ko tu kaif-e-fana de
"Hai maut haseeN" --> raaz yeh duniya ko bata de
RaNg-e-chamanistaan-e-KHizaaN~deeda(h) dikha de
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
JaaN~daada(h)-e-hasti-e-pareshaan-e-chaman tu
Tan'ha dam-e-tanhaaii nigehbaan-e-chaman tu
KHalwat~kada-e-raaz men mehmaan-e-chaman tu
KHam'yaaza~kash-e-baada(h)-'irfaan-e-chaman tu
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KhizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Tu rehzan-e-sarmaaya-o-saamaan-e-gulistaaN
Tu rehbar-sar~maNzil-e-'irfaan-e-gulistaaN
Az simt-e-'adam silsila~jun(m)baan-e-gulistaaN
Jaan-o-jigar-o-qaalib-e-be~jaan-e-gulistaaN
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Weeraan chaman men bhi hai ik shaan-e-nazaakat
Ik m'anweeyat is men hai ik shaan-e-lataafat
Ik raNg-e-kasaafat hai gul-o-laala(h) ki kasrat
Tu aa ! k(e) gulistaan bane aaina-e-wahdat
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Yeh fasl-e-KHizaaN maut ka afsaana suna jaaye
Har barg-e-chaman~zaar par ik nashsha sa chha jaaye
Har phool ko KH(w)aab-e-'adam~aabaad dikha jaaye
Jaage huwe gulzaar ko ik neeNd si aa jaaye
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Tu hai woh hawa sh'ola-e-gul ko jo bujha de
Woh aag hai jo baaGH-e-tar-o-taaza(h) jala de
Har naqsh ke, har raNg ke aasaar miTaa de
Gulzaar ko tu daaman-e-KHaNjar ki hawa de
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
JhoNke woh chaleN GHuNcha-e-sar~basta bikas jaaye
Susan ki zabaaN qatra-e-shabnam ko taras jaaye
HaaN, boo-e-kafan pairahan-e-baaGH men bas jaaye
Gulzaar men har char taraf aag baras jaaye
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KhizaaN chal
Har zarre men rakh di hai jo aatish-e-pin'haaN
BhaRke gi wuhi ban ke gul-o-laala(h)-o-raihaaN
Ai marg-e-mafajaat-e-chaman jaan-e-gulistaaN
HaiN kitni bahaareN tiri sharmiNda-e-ahsaaN
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Aate huwe gulzaar ka gulzaar luTa de
Jaate huwe gulzaar ka gulzaar khila de
Tu hasti-e-gulzaar 'adam kar ke dikha de
Phir is 'adam~aabaad ko gulzaar bana de
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
********************************************************
This is quite a long poem and I had consdiderable difficulty in
transcribing the same. The principal reason for this was the
fact that the source (from which the poem was reproduced) had
too many glaring misprints. Not only many words were badly mis-
spelt but, at many places, words were omitted altogether, render-
ing awry the metre of the poem. At many places, I had to conjure
up the missing word or words as best as I could. There must still
be several errors in this presentation which should be attributed
to me alone. I also get an impression that the poem was written
in comparative haste and the poet could not devote the required
degree of attention to polishing it up. Also, the poem could have
been shortened, to avoid some repetitive phrases and thoughts.
Just my view.
The previous poem was authored by an obscure poet whose name
escapes me at the moment. I do recall though that he was not a
regular poet. That poem was published in a well-known Urdu
magazine in the late thirties.
The second poem, presented in this post, was composed by one of
the renowned poets of the twentieth century, Firaaq Gorakhpuri.
Afzal
Jamil
> And this is the last part, a second Urdu rendition.
>
> TARAANA-E-KHIZAAN
>
> Yak~laKHt badalti huwi 'aalam ka samaaN chal
> Ik aag lagaati huwi larzaaN o tapaaN chal
> Jaati huwi duniya-e-chaman ki nigaraaN chal
> Aati huwi raNgeeniyoN se jalwa~fishaaN chal
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> ********************************************************
>
> This is quite a long poem and I had consdiderable difficulty in
> transcribing the same. The principal reason for this was the
> fact that the source (from which the poem was reproduced) had
> too many glaring misprints. Not only many words were badly mis-
> spelt but, at many places, words were omitted altogether, render-
> ing awry the metre of the poem. At many places, I had to conjure
> up the missing word or words as best as I could. There must still
> be several errors in this presentation which should be attributed
> to me alone. I also get an impression that the poem was written
> in comparative haste and the poet could not devote the required
> degree of attention to polishing it up. Also, the poem could have
> been shortened, to avoid some repetitive phrases and thoughts.
> Just my view.
>
> The previous poem was authored by an obscure poet whose name
> escapes me at the moment. I do recall though that he was not a
> regular poet. That poem was published in a well-known Urdu
> magazine in the late thirties.
>
> The second poem, presented in this post, was composed by one of
> the renowned poets of the twentieth century, Firaaq Gorakhpuri.
>
> Afzal
Thank you Afzal sahib for posting the two Urdu versions of the poem.
It was in my high school textbook that I first saw this poem by
Shelley. The lines that appealed to me the most in the poem were:
Oh! lift me as a wave, a leaf, a cloud!
I fall upon the thorns of life! I bleed!
A heavy weight of hours has chained and bowed
One too like thee: tameless, and swift, and proud.
I did not know the reason then, but later I realized that they had
appealed to me because they were close in spirit to Urdu poetry, or at
least what little I had read of it. In fact the following she'r of
Ghalib's could be sneaked into the Firaq's version and it would fit
right in (except, of course, for the taKhallus):
maaraa zamaane ne asadullah KhaN tumheN
vuh valvale kahaaN vuh javaani kidhar ga'ii
Has Naseer Sahib given up on Topic of the Month? If not, and if it
has not been done already, Urdu translations of well-known poems can
be posted here.
Jamil
Vijay
> And this is the last part, a second Urdu rendition.
Thanks for posting the second rendition. I have a lot of 'affection'
for 'Ode to The West Wind' (and '. ..to a Skylark) and rightly or
wrongly, on this very group I had once used 'Oh! lift me as a
wave....' as an example to compare Shiv Batalvi to other greats.
I was secretly hoping that your second rendition won't be the
Gorakhpurii version, so that I could post 't'raana-e-KhizaaN' as a
bonus third rendition:-) In any case, I may be able to offer some
changes to your version which may, in a couple of instances, at least,
seem to balance out the metric flaws. In other cases, the differences
don't add much or in one instance, at least, may even detract from the
meaning.
But first, the attribution, as offered by Firaaq:
"aik baar rail ke safar meN apne muKhlis dost qaazii adiim abbaasii
sahib ke saath ho gaya. unhoN ne aik Khaas dhun meN 'iqbaal' ka
t'raana 'ai Khaab-e-garaaN, Khaab-e-garaaN, Khaab-e-garaaN, Khez'
sunaaia. us t'raane kii lai aur Shelley kii aNgrezii naz'm is naz'm
kii muharrik huuii".
Now some changes in the body of your posting. You have done an
incredible job transcribing a very long poem in Roman. I won't bother
with any minor errata (if there are any) and will confine my-self to
more substantive differences only.
> TARAANA-E-KHIZAAN
>
> Yak~laKHt badalti huwi 'aalam ka samaaN chal
> Ik aag lagaati huwi larzaaN o tapaaN chal
> Jaati huwi duniya-e-chaman ki nigaraaN chal
> Aati huwi raNgeeniyoN se jalwa~fishaaN chal
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> GHuNche ko chaman men jo chaTakna ho chaTak le
> Jis raNg ko gulshan men chamakna ho chamak le
> Gar husn-e-gulistaaN ko damakna ho damak le
> Kuchh din kamar-e-baad~bahaari bhi lachak le
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Bad~mastiyoN ka daur guzar jaaye guzar jaaye
> Barg-o-gul-o-sabze ka chaRha nashsha utar jaaye
> Yeh baz'm* soo-e-'adam KHaak~basar jaaye
yeh baz'm-e-chaman, soo-e-adam Khaak-basar jaae
This brings the line in meter.
> Sheeraaza-e-gulzaar bikhar jaaye bikhar jaaye
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaan chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> PhooloN ke chiraaGHaaN ko bujha de to bujha de
> Aate hi gulistaaN men ik aNdher macha de
> Har baaGH ko ik nakhat-e-barbaad bana de
> Gulzaar, har gulzaar* luTa de to luTa de
gulzaar kaa gulzaar luTa de to luTa de
I prefer your version.
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Arbaab-e-chaman ko kafan-e-KHaak uRhaati
> Baaleedagi har zarre men aati hai chhupaati
> Tu marg-e-nabaataat hai, tu rooh banaati*
tu marg-e-nabaataat hai, tu rooh-e-nabaatii
> Ya jaan-e-numoo mauj-e-fana ban ke hai aati
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Phoole huwe gulzaar ko weeraan kiya hai
> Taa-uus ko uRti huwi naagin ne Dasa hai
> Ik qahr hai, aafat hai, qiyaamat hai, bala hai
> Ya baaGH men lehraayee huwi barq-e-fana hai
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Sookha jo chaman aur miTi shaan-e-gulistaaN
> Kya jaaniye kyoN husn bana soKHta~saamaaN
> Har zarre se ab wus'at-e-sehra hai numaayaaN
> 'Aalam hai naya baaGH ka yeh qariya*-e-weeraaN
aalam hai naya baaGh ka yeh maNzar-e-weeraaN
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Sau tarh(e) se aabaad haiN duniya men watan bhi*
go sau tarah aabaad haiN aabaad watan bhii
> Jaan-o-jigar-o-qaalib-e-be~jaan-e-gulistaaN*
jaan-e-digar-e-qaalib-e-be~jaan-e-gulistaaN
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Weeraan chaman men bhi hai ik shaan-e-nazaakat
> Ik m'anweeyat is men hai ik shaan-e-lataafat
> Ik raNg-e-kasaafat hai gul-o-laala(h) ki kasrat
> Tu aa ! k(e) gulistaan bane aaina-e-wahdat
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
As if the poem wasn't alreday long enough, here, in this place, is an
extra baNd in my version, which I post below:
jalwe haiN s'maae huue wiiraan fazaa meN
haiN raaz b'saae huue sunsaan fazaa meN
har aan naii hotii hai ik shaan fazaa meN
ik jaan sii paR jaati hai har aan fazaa meN
ai baad-e-KhizaaN.......
>
> Yeh fasl-e-KHizaaN maut ka afsaana suna jaaye
> Har barg-e-chaman~zaar par ik nashsha sa chha jaaye
> Har phool ko KH(w)aab-e-'adam~aabaad dikha jaaye
> Jaage huwe gulzaar ko ik neeNd si aa jaaye
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Tu hai woh hawa sh'ola-e-gul ko jo bujha de
> Woh aag hai jo baaGH-e-tar-o-taaza(h) jala de
> Har naqsh ke, har raNg ke aasaar miTaa de
> Gulzaar ko tu daaman-e-KHaNjar ki hawa de
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> JhoNke woh chaleN GHuNcha-e-sar~basta bikas jaaye
> Susan* ki zabaaN qatra-e-shabnam ko taras jaaye
? sausan*
> HaaN, boo-e-kafan pairahan-e-baaGH men bas jaaye
> Gulzaar men har char taraf aag baras jaaye
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KhizaaN chal
>
> Har zarre men rakh di hai jo* aatish-e-pin'haaN
har zarre meN rakh dii hai jo ik* aatish-e-pinhaaN
> BhaRke gi wuhi ban ke gul-o-laala(h)-o-raihaaN
> Ai marg-e-mafajaat-e-chaman jaan-e-gulistaaN
> HaiN kitni bahaareN tiri sharmiNda-e-ahsaaN
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> Aate huwe gulzaar ka gulzaar luTa de
> Jaate huwe gulzaar ka gulzaar khila de
> Tu hasti-e-gulzaar 'adam kar ke dikha de
> Phir is 'adam~aabaad ko gulzaar bana de
>
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN, baad-e-KHizaaN chal
> Ai baad-e-KHizaaN chal
>
> ********************************************************
> Afzal
Afzal A. Khan
Thanks for all the corrections and amendments. In turn,
I too would like to make one correction. The friend
named by Firaaq (in the introductory note) was one Qazi
'Adeel 'Abbasi......not "adiim".
Afzal
Naseer
Your profound knowledge in a number of disciplines is a matter of envy
for all ALUPers. Indeed, your presence in ALUP over a period in excess
of twelve years has been an enriching experience for everyone who has
had the pleasure of your company. In the short time that I have been
visiting ALUP, I have learnt a great deal from you as well other
highly knowledgeble personalities such as Jamil Sahib, UVR Sahib,
Zafar Sahib, Sarwar Sahib and Raj Kumar Sahib. I am well aware of some
other names who have brought vigour and vitality to ALUP and have
contributed positively to keep the ALUP torch burning but that was
before my time.
My knowledge and experience of English literature, whether prose or
poetry, can be written on the back of a postage stamp! In May 2007 you
posted a poem by an English poet called Robert Southey and Akbar
Allahabadi's rendition on the same theme. I was neither aware of
Southey nor of Akbar Allahabadi's poem. I do know about Shelley but
have read next to nothing of his work. Had he lived a longer life, I
wonder what further heights he could have reached.
I liked both the poems you have posted. Yes, Firaq's poem is rather
long but inspite of the length, it is a fine poem. But if I were asked
to show preference, I think I would give the un-named poet my vote.
Jamil Sahib has expressed a desire for a thread to encompass Urdu
poems which are translations from other languages. I don't know if
there are many actual translations as such. I wonder if he meant Urdu
poems that have had their inspiration from poets of other languages.
We know that English literature and perhaps European literature in
general has had its inspiration, apart from each language's own
folklore and culture, from the Judeo-Christian back ground on the one
hand and the Greek/Latin "classics" on the other. Without intending to
deminish the genius of the individual writers, these two founts of
inspiration have played a major role in the development of English
literature.
Urdu is similarly uniquely placed. Through Arabic and Persian it links
with the Abrahamic faiths' religious and literary culture and through
its ancestory, it is linked to Sanskrit and Hindu and other religious
and cultural values. On top of all this, we have the colonial contact
with the English language.
I believe that when a poet is familiar with works of distinguished
writers of other linguistic backgrounds, his poetry gains further
dimentions and ultimately becomes better for it. We already have a
system known as "tazmiin". But, I don't think quoting one couplet and
constructing a piece of poetry in that same framework necessarily
brings in new ideas. We also have the "maaKhuuz" (taken/adopted)
concept where the poet is really "inspired" by another poet. We know
that Iqbal has borrowed, amongst others, from Emerson (ek pahaaR aur
gilahrii, ruKhsat, ai bazm-i-jahan), Longfellow (payaam-i-subH) both
American poets and William Cowper (hamdardii), Tennyson ('ishq aur
maut) and Nietze (Europe). His "aaftaab" is a translation of
"gaaytrii" and there is a couplet translated from Bhartari Hari. This
is just one Urdu poet. Faiz, apparently has translated the renowned
Turkish poet "Nazim Hikmat". I am sure there would be many other poets
who have written exceptional poetry as a result of external
inspiration.
Firaq, a professor of English literature, was well placed to inject
new ideas and themes into Urdu poetry. I don't know much about his
works though. Are there many pieces which one can attribute to his
profession?
Naseer
Afzal A. Khan
Naseer Saheb,
Sir, you make me blush !
But, seriously, you ought to consider your own accomplishments.
First, your formidable knowledge of linguistic semantics is
greatly prized in our NG. Secondly, your command over Farsi
language is nothing short of remarkable. Not only that, your
observations concerning modern pronunciation and usage and also
the earlier/original practices always amazes us. Lastly, it is
not possible to laud sufficiently your indefatigable zeal in
holding aloft the banner of the Urdu language and its literature
in these trying times. In particular, I always remember the
stout defence and sober arguments you marshal so skillfully when-
ever certain people try to attack or malign our language. I must
also pay tribute to your resolute resourcefulness in finding out
old threads and revive them for further discussions. Even when
circumstances force other participants to play truant, you
continue to keep the "shama'" of Urdu burning all alone. Enough
said.
I believe that longevity is not always necessary for literary
achievement. Shelley, in his short life, has done enough to
immortalize himself in the annals of English Literature. One of
his friends and contemporaries, John Keats, died at a younger age
(25) and yet millions of fans adore his poetry to this day.
I am in full agreement with you about the first Urdu rendition
being more satisfying. The second one, IMHO, is marred by a
certain unevenness. But let us not be too harsh in this respect.
The atmospheric conditions and the environment in cold, wintry
England is something that cannot be replicated in Urdu poetry.
Just my view.
About Jamil Saheb's suggestion : There are at least two English
poems which had been "translated" in Urdu in the early part of
the twentieth century. And I had both these pieces. Unfortunately
it is now next to impossible for me to access them. My personal
effects (including my precious library) are locked up in India.
Firaaq did try to carry out new experiments --- particularly his
poems/geets employing the Hindi idiom. The script is Urdu even
in these cases, but the general effect can be very pleasing.
Time (and health) permitting, I may be able to write more about
these issues in the coming days.
Thanks again for your kind words.
Afzal
nagesh
Afzal Sahib:
Many thanks for your painstaking transliteration of the Urdu versions
of Shelley. You may remember a discussion on ALUP many years ago of
Faiz's Urdu translation of a poem by Browning. My recollection is
that Faiz labeled it a translation.
I seem to remember that ALUPers felt that the Urdu translation was
more poetic than the English original. Was this one of the two poems
you had in mind? Even though it was not in the early part of the 20th
century, for some values of "early".
Regards,
Nagesh
Jamil
Afzal Sahib, Nagesh Sahib aur Naseer Sahib
Let me second what Afzal Sahib has said about Naseer Sahib's knowledge
and his services to ALUP. In my opinion, Naseer Sahib gave a new life
to ALUP at a time when the Forum was in decline.
As for our discussion on translation of poetry and in particular the
poem by Browning that was translated by Faiz and which Nagesh Sahib
refers to: it can be seen here:
http://goo.gl/Y4tr9
Besides this poem, Faiz has translated several others. A section of
his book "sar-e-vaadii-e-siinaa" is devoted to translations of verses
of the Daghestani poet Rasul Hamzah or Rasul Gamzatov.
Incidentally Rasul Gamzatov wrote a delightful prose book in his
language, Avar, which was translated into English as "My Daghestan"
and in turn translated into Urdu as "meraa daaghistaan". The book
comprises the poet's random reflections on various topics, anecdotes
and folk wisdom of his homeland. He mentions translations at a couple
of places, and subtly conveys his opinion on translating poetry,
through an anecdote, which goes like this (translation mine):
"When I was a student in the literature academy, there was another
student there named Nina Lenin. Once she invited me to her house; the
occasion was her birthday. After much pondering as to what gift to
give her, I decided to write a poem instead that I would recite on the
occasion and then present to her.
"I wrote a poem felicitating her on her birthday and persuaded a
fellow student, who was also a poet, to translate it from Avar to
Russian. He spent the whole night translating it. But when he read
it out for me, I could not recognise my own poem. The translation was
a volcanic eruption of emotions, and brilliantly conveyed so much
passion; still it was not what I had wanted to say to Nina. I told my
friend to recite the poem on HIS girlfriend's birthday instead, since
what he had written was his poem, not mine."
Jamil
Jamil
> I am in full agreement with you about the first Urdu rendition
> being more satisfying. The second one, IMHO, is marred by a
> certain unevenness. But let us not be too harsh in this respect.
> The atmospheric conditions and the environment in cold, wintry
> England is something that cannot be replicated in Urdu poetry.
> Just my view.
>
> Afzal
Just a minor point of information, Afzal Sahib: Shelley wrote the
poem not in the harsh, wintry England, but in the milder climate of
Italy. I had remembered this from my school days, but to make sure I
looked it up and found the following insightful commentary, including
Shelley's own notes on the poem:
"This poem was conceived and chiefly written in a wood that skirts
the Arno, near Florence, on a day when the tempestuous wind, whose
temperature is at once mild and animating, was collecting the vapours,
which pour down the autumnal rains". [Shelley's note]. As in other
major Romantic poems ... the rising wind, linked with the cycle of
seasons is presented as the outer correspondence to an inner change
from apathy to spiritual vitality, and from imaginative sterility to a
burst of creative power which is paralleled to the inspiration of the
Bibilical prophets. In Hebrew, Latin and Greek and many other
languages, the word for wind, breath, soul and inspiration are all
identical or related. Shelley's west wind is "spirit", ...the "breath
of Autumn's being" which ... destroys in the autumn in order to revive
in the spring...." [from Norton's Anthology of English Literature.]
Interesting! The words for wind and soul are also related in Arabic:
riiH (wind), ruuH (soul).
Jamil
arahim
One of the translated poems by Faiz in this series is
daghistani khatoon aur sha'ir baita
is nay jab bolna na seekha tha
is ki her baat main samajhtee thi
ab wo sha'ir bana hai naam e khuda
laikin afsos koi baat is ki
mairay pullay zara nahin parti
> Jamil- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Afzal A. Khan
> On Jan 3, 7:54 pm, "Afzal A. Khan"<me_af...@privacy.net> wrote:>
>
>> I am in full agreement with you about the first Urdu rendition
>> being more satisfying. The second one, IMHO, is marred by a
>> certain unevenness. But let us not be too harsh in this respect.
>> The atmospheric conditions and the environment in cold, wintry
>> England is something that cannot be replicated in Urdu poetry.
>> Just my view.
>>
>> Afzal
>
> Just a minor point of information, Afzal Sahib: Shelley wrote the
> poem not in the harsh, wintry England, but in the milder climate of
> Italy. I had remembered this from my school days
> Jamil
Jamil Saheb,
You are absolutely right. I suppose we can replace England with
Italy in my comment ! Except that I have no experience of Italy
in winter, though I have had exposure (in more ways than one) to
"cold wintry England" !
Afzal