Ghazal: dukhoN ke vaqt ne kyaa kyaa na inkishaaf kiyaa

Irfan Abid

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Oct 16, 2021, 2:02:35 PM10/16/21

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aadaab, dosto!

ek haaliya Ghazal mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apni giraaN.qadr raae se navaaziye.

Ghazal

dukhoN ke vaqt ne kyaa kyaa na inkishaaf kiyaa
ki jo aziiz thaa us hii ne inhiraaf kiyaa

Khamosh aah-o-fuGhaaN ke nahiiN haiN ham qaail
jo naala ham ne kiyaa hai, falak-shigaaf kiyaa

hamaaraa qatl kiyaa aur phir kahaa us ne
vuh tuu ne aah jo kii thii, use mu’aaf kiyaa!

tum ihtiyaat to karte zaraa mukarne meN
chhurii ko tum ne chhupaayaa, na kaf ko saaf kiyaa

yih kyaa Ghazab hai ki baiThaa hai taKht-e-munsif par
vuh jis ne jurm kaa apne Khud aitiraaf kiyaa

unheN thii kaisii aqiidat bhalaa kise ma'luum
GhamoN ne dil kaa musalsal magar tavaaf kiyaa

yih kyaa ki tum ne zabaaN hii mirii qalam kar dii
tumhaarii baat se maiN ne jo iKhtilaaf kiyaa

hamiiN ko shauq thaa sach bolne kaa ai :Abid:
ki ham ne saare zamaane ko Khud Khilaaf kiyaa

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Raj Kumar

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Oct 18, 2021, 9:30:20 PM10/18/21

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On Saturday, October 16, 2021 at 11:02:35 AM UTC-7, Irfan Abid wrote:
> aadaab, dosto!
>
> ek haaliya Ghazal mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apni giraaN.qadr raae se navaaziye.

***janaab Irfan sahib:

aap ki Ghazal nazar-navaaz hu'ii. sochaa k is baar baat iltivaa par na Daali jaaye bal-k is kaar-Khair se jald-az-jald nipaT lena chaahiye. so, leejiye, Khaaksaar ke ta'assuraat Haazir-e-Khidmat haiN.

avval to yeh k itna daqeeq qaafiya aur *tis* par aisi 'ameeq Ghazal. har she'r qaabil-e-sitaa'ish hai --- parvaaz-e-taKhayyul ki ruu se bhi aur aNdaaz-e-bayaaN ki ruu se bhi. is kaamyaab kaavish par aap ko meri jaanib se Dher saari mubaarak-baad!

ba-har-kaif, in ash'aar par do-aek baateN arz karna chaahuuN ga.***

>
> dukhoN ke vaqt ne kyaa kyaa na inkishaaf kiyaa
> ki jo aziiz thaa us hii ne inhiraaf kiyaa

***matl'a Khuub hai. mujhe, zaati taur par, "us hii ne" ki tarkeeb har liHaaz se bihtar ma'aluum hoti hai --- yeh alag baat k ZS ise "us ne hi" paRhna pasaNd kareN gi!*** :-)

> hamaaraa qatl kiyaa aur phir kahaa us ne
> vuh tuu ne aah jo kii thii, use mu’aaf kiyaa!

***yahaaN aek ma'amuuli sa savaal paida hota hai, voh yeh k ------- mu'aaf aah bharne vaale ko kiyaa jaata hai, na k aah ko.***

> tum ihtiyaat to karte zaraa mukarne meN
> chhurii ko tum ne chhupaayaa, na kaf ko saaf kiyaa

***Bahut umda she'r hai --- go k ise paRhte vaqt dhyaan "KhaNjar pa ko'ii chhiiNT, na daaman pa ko'ii daaGh" ki jaanib phir jaata hai. magar yahaaN aap ka qaatil to kuchh ziyaada hi laa-parvaa saabit hu'aa hai.*** :-)

> unheN thii kaisii aqiidat bhalaa kise ma'luum
> GhamoN ne dil kaa musalsal magar tavaaf kiyaa

***maiN yeh she'r Theek taraH se samajh nahiiN paayaa. bhalaa duusre misr'e meN lafz "magar" ka kyaa 'role' hai?***

> yih kyaa ki tum ne zabaaN hii mirii qalam kar dii
> tumhaarii baat se maiN ne jo iKhtilaaf kiyaa

***aap ke is she'r par aek 'classical' matl'a yaad aa gayaa:

khule the lab k us ne kaaT kar merii zabaaN rakh dii
hamesha ke liye tai kar ke Gham kii daastaaN rakh dii"!***

> hamiiN ko shauq thaa sach bolne kaa ai :Abid:
> ki ham ne saare zamaane ko Khud Khilaaf kiyaa

***agar aap lafz "hamiiN" ko takraar de deN to kaisa rahe? jaise,

hamiiN ko shauq thaa sach bolne kaa ai :Abid:

hamiiN ne saare zamaane ko Khud Khilaaf kiyaa

aek baar phir, aap ko is umda Ghazal par Dher saari mubaarak-baad!

niyaaz-maNd, Raj Kumar***

Raj Kumar

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Oct 19, 2021, 12:22:40 AM10/19/21

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-----------

***P.S. jo she'r maiN ne uupar quote kiyaa hai, us meN "tai kar ke" ki bajaaye "tah kar ke" hona chaahiye --------
tah (with te and he), not "tai" (with toye and ye). R.K.***

Zoya

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Oct 19, 2021, 10:58:54 PM10/19/21

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On Saturday, October 16, 2021 at 1:02:35 PM UTC-5, Irfan Abid wrote:
> aadaab, dosto!

> ek haaliya Ghazal mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apni giraaN.qadr raae se navaaziye.

Irfan sahib, aadaab,

aap kii haaliya ghazal bilkul hasb-e-haal hai, aur bahut Khuub hai. daad aur mubarakbaad qubuul kiijiye.
jaisaa k RK sahib ne kahaa, mujhe bhi qaafia bahut pasand aaya hai.

jaane kyuN mujhe lag rahaa tha k kisi sh'er meN to aap yaqiinan 'shafaaf' istemaal kareN ge. to ek she'r aur ho jaaye, meri farmaaish par? :)

> Ghazal

> dukhoN ke vaqt ne kyaa kyaa na inkishaaf kiyaa
> ki jo aziiz thaa us hii ne inhiraaf kiyaa

RK sahib, I know I know, until a few months ago I would have wanted to say 'us ne hii', but not anymore! I still remember the last time I questioned such a 'tarkiib', I got detailed lessons on this topic by you and Irfan sahib, my two esteemed ustaads. So, now I am good with 'us hii ne'. :)

Irfan sahib, 'inhiraaf' is not in my vocabulary, I had to look it up. Nice.

> Khamosh aah-o-fuGhaaN ke nahiiN haiN ham qaail
> jo naala ham ne kiyaa hai, falak-shigaaf kiyaa

:(

> hamaaraa qatl kiyaa aur phir kahaa us ne
> vuh tuu ne aah jo kii thii, use mu’aaf kiyaa!

I am curious about your response to the question RK sahib has raised regarding 'aah ko mu'aaf karnaa'.

> tum ihtiyaat to karte zaraa mukarne meN
> chhurii ko tum ne chhupaayaa, na kaf ko saaf kiyaa

Of course, the she'r most likely to come to mind after reading this is Kaleem Ajiz's "daaman pe koii chiiNT, na Khanjar pe koii daagh.....". However, the she'r that immediately came to my mind is by Ali Sardar Jafri. I had read this years ago in a newspaper during one of my visits to India, and it has stayed with me ever since. There have been many instances since then where this she'r seems to be a perfect fit, sad but true:

aastiiN Khuun se tar, pyaar jataate ho magar
kyaa ghazab karte ho, KhaNjar to chhupao sahib!

> yih kyaa Ghazab hai ki baiThaa hai taKht-e-munsif par
> vuh jis ne jurm kaa apne Khud aitiraaf kiyaa

goya "meraa qaatil hi meraa munsif hai....".

> unheN thii kaisii aqiidat bhalaa kise ma'luum
> GhamoN ne dil kaa musalsal magar tavaaf kiyaa

ghamoN ko dil se aqiidat thii? 'unheN' seems a bit ambiguous, at least to me. Yes?

> yih kyaa ki tum ne zabaaN hii mirii qalam kar dii
> tumhaarii baat se maiN ne jo iKhtilaaf kiyaa

:-(

> hamiiN ko shauq thaa sach bolne kaa ai :Abid:
> ki ham ne saare zamaane ko Khud Khilaaf kiyaa

Irfan sahib, aap ne sunaa nahiiN "jhuuT vaale kahaaN se kahaaN baRh gaye.....". vaise aaj kal to 'alternate facts' kaa bhii zamaana hai. :)

> niyaazmand,
> Irfan :Abid:

I have always loved reading your poetry, I find it just amazing that you can express your feelings about serious subjects so easily and eloquently. Your expression always makes me pause and think.

Thank you.

______Zoya

Raj Kumar

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Oct 19, 2021, 11:18:33 PM10/19/21

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On Tuesday, October 19, 2021 at 7:58:54 PM UTC-7, Zoya wrote:
> On Saturday, October 16, 2021 at 1:02:35 PM UTC-5, Irfan Abid wrote:
> > aadaab, dosto!
>
> > ek haaliya Ghazal mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apni giraaN.qadr raae se navaaziye.
> Irfan sahib, aadaab,
>
> aap kii haaliya ghazal bilkul hasb-e-haal hai, aur bahut Khuub hai. daad aur mubarakbaad qubuul kiijiye.
> jaisaa k RK sahib ne kahaa, mujhe bhi qaafia bahut pasand aaya hai.
>
> jaane kyuN mujhe lag rahaa tha k kisi sh'er meN to aap yaqiinan 'shafaaf' istemaal kareN ge. to ek she'r aur ho jaaye, meri farmaaish par? :)

***ZS, even though your suggestion re the word "shafaaf" is meant for Irfan sahib, I couldn't help pointing out to you that the correct word is "shaffaaf", not "shafaaf". So, I don't think you can expect Irfan sahib to oblige you on this one. :-(

haaN, agar aap "liHaaf" yaa "Ghilaaf" ki baat kartiiN to *judii* baat thi. :-)

R.K.***

Zoya

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Oct 20, 2021, 12:32:30 AM10/20/21

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On Tuesday, October 19, 2021 at 10:18:33 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:

> > jaane kyuN mujhe lag rahaa tha k kisi sh'er meN to aap yaqiinan 'shafaaf' istemaal kareN ge. to ek she'r aur ho jaaye, meri farmaaish par? :)
> ***ZS, even though your suggestion re the word "shafaaf" is meant for Irfan sahib, I couldn't help pointing out to you that the correct word is "shaffaaf", not "shafaaf". So, I don't think you can expect Irfan sahib to oblige you on this one. :-(

Oh ok, I see. Thanks Raj uncle. I pronounce it 'shaffaaf', but wrote 'shafaaf'.

> haaN, agar aap "liHaaf" yaa "Ghilaaf" ki baat kartiiN to *judii* baat thi. :-)

Sure why not? If Gulzar can write a hit song using these words, I am sure our Irfan sahib can coin a she'r! :)
>
> R.K.***

________Zoya

Raj Kumar

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Oct 20, 2021, 3:00:58 PM10/20/21

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On Tuesday, October 19, 2021 at 9:32:30 PM UTC-7, Zoya wrote:
> On Tuesday, October 19, 2021 at 10:18:33 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:
>
> > > jaane kyuN mujhe lag rahaa tha k kisi sh'er meN to aap yaqiinan 'shafaaf' istemaal kareN ge. to ek she'r aur ho jaaye, meri farmaaish par? :)

> > ***ZS, even though your suggestion re the word "shafaaf" is meant for Irfan sahib, I couldn't help pointing out to you that the correct word is "shaffaaf", not "shafaaf". So, I don't think you can expect Irfan sahib to oblige you on this one. :-( ***

> Oh ok, I see. Thanks Raj uncle. I pronounce it 'shaffaaf', but wrote 'shafaaf'.

***ZS, agar aap ko ma'aluum tha k is lafz ka saHiiH talaffuz "shaffaaf" hai to phir aap ne yeh kyuuN nahiiN dekha k yeh lafz is Ghazal ka qaaafiya ho hi nahiiN sakta? yahaaaN, kisi lafz ko qaafiya ban_ne ke liye use bar-vazn 21 yaa 121 yaa 2121 hona chaahiye, jab-k zer-e-baHs lafz ka vazn 221 hai.

nateejatan, aap ka overall 'grade' ab 4.5 se neeche gir kar 4.0 ho gayaa hai. Sorry! :-(

aap ka "deeply disappointed uncle",
Raj Kumar***

Message has been deleted

Zoya

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Oct 20, 2021, 11:32:04 PM10/20/21

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On Wednesday, October 20, 2021 at 2:00:58 PM UTC-5, Raj Kumar wrote:

> > Oh ok, I see. Thanks Raj uncle. I pronounce it 'shaffaaf', but wrote 'shafaaf'.

> ***ZS, agar aap ko ma'aluum tha k is lafz ka saHiiH talaffuz "shaffaaf" hai to phir aap ne yeh kyuuN nahiiN dekha k yeh lafz is Ghazal ka qaaafiya ho hi nahiiN sakta? yahaaaN, kisi lafz ko qaafiya ban_ne ke liye use bar-vazn 21 yaa 121 yaa 2121 hona chaahiye, jab-k zer-e-baHs lafz ka vazn 221 hai.

This one is subtle Prof RK, I own it, no skirting. Despite knowing the correct pronunciation, I
actually thought 'shaffaaf' would work as qaafia along with inkishaaf, saaf, mu'aaf etc. My focus was entirely on ...21, I did not even think about the syllable weights prior to the terminal 21. What a valuable lesson, thank you.

> nateejatan, aap ka overall 'grade' ab 4.5 se neeche gir kar 4.0 ho gayaa hai. Sorry! :-(

I deserve some deduction, but isn't your grading a bit harsh here?! Normally, I would argue my case further, but since we have recently been talking about me controlling 'lobh', I guess I should accept the assigned grade. I am assuming 4 on your grading scale is still an A, right? :-)

> aap ka "deeply disappointed uncle",
> Raj Kumar***

Cheer up Raj uncle, it's not that bad. At least take away "deeply" please. :-)

Your un-lobhi, but still a 4-star pupil,

_________Zoya

Irfan Abid

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Oct 22, 2021, 8:54:56 PM10/22/21

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On Monday, October 18, 2021 at 9:30:20 PM UTC-4, Raj Kumar wrote:
> On Saturday, October 16, 2021 at 11:02:35 AM UTC-7, Irfan Abid wrote:
> > aadaab, dosto!
> >
> > ek haaliya Ghazal mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apni giraaN.qadr raae se navaaziye.
> ***janaab Irfan sahib:
>
> aap ki Ghazal nazar-navaaz hu'ii. sochaa k is baar baat iltivaa par na Daali jaaye bal-k is kaar-Khair se jald-az-jald nipaT lena chaahiye. so, leejiye, Khaaksaar ke ta'assuraat Haazir-e-Khidmat haiN.
>
> avval to yeh k itna daqeeq qaafiya aur *tis* par aisi 'ameeq Ghazal. har she'r qaabil-e-sitaa'ish hai --- parvaaz-e-taKhayyul ki ruu se bhi aur aNdaaz-e-bayaaN ki ruu se bhi. is kaamyaab kaavish par aap ko meri jaanib se Dher saari mubaarak-baad!
>

muhtaram RK sb, aadaab arz hai!

zahe naseeb ki aap ne na sirf is adnaa kaavish par nigaah-e-karam farmaayii, balki ise apni giraaN.qadr sitaaish se bhii navaazaa. bahut bahut shukriya!

> ba-har-kaif, in ash'aar par do-aek baateN arz karna chaahuuN ga.***
> >
> > dukhoN ke vaqt ne kyaa kyaa na inkishaaf kiyaa
> > ki jo aziiz thaa us hii ne inhiraaf kiyaa
> ***matl'a Khuub hai. mujhe, zaati taur par, "us hii ne" ki tarkeeb har liHaaz se bihtar ma'aluum hoti hai --- yeh alag baat k ZS ise "us ne hi" paRhna pasaNd kareN gi!*** :-)
>

:)

> > hamaaraa qatl kiyaa aur phir kahaa us ne
> > vuh tuu ne aah jo kii thii, use mu’aaf kiyaa!
> ***yahaaN aek ma'amuuli sa savaal paida hota hai, voh yeh k ------- mu'aaf aah bharne vaale ko kiyaa jaata hai, na k aah ko.***
>

agar aap kaa savaal maiN Theek tarah samajh rahaa huuN to ye mere liye qadre baais-e-ta'ajjub hai, kyoNki aap ko to ilm hogaa ki mujrim/Khataa.vaar/qusoor.vaar ko bhi mu'aaf kiyaa jaataa hai aur jurm/Khataa/qusoor ko bhii, maslan:

vuh kareNge miraa qusoor mu'aaf
ho chukaa, kar chuke zaroor mu'aaf (Nooh Narvi)

> > tum ihtiyaat to karte zaraa mukarne meN
> > chhurii ko tum ne chhupaayaa, na kaf ko saaf kiyaa
> ***Bahut umda she'r hai --- go k ise paRhte vaqt dhyaan "KhaNjar pa ko'ii chhiiNT, na daaman pa ko'ii daaGh" ki jaanib phir jaata hai. magar yahaaN aap ka qaatil to kuchh ziyaada hi laa-parvaa saabit hu'aa hai.*** :-)
>

navaazish!

> > unheN thii kaisii aqiidat bhalaa kise ma'luum
> > GhamoN ne dil kaa musalsal magar tavaaf kiyaa
> ***maiN yeh she'r Theek taraH se samajh nahiiN paayaa. bhalaa duusre misr'e meN lafz "magar" ka kyaa 'role' hai?***
>

yahaaN yih kehnaa chaah rahaa huuN ki unheN (GhamoN ko) kaisii aqeedat thii, yih to nahiiN ma'luum, MAGAR (itnaa ma'luum hai) ki GhamoN ne dil ka musalsal tavaaf kiyaa.

> > yih kyaa ki tum ne zabaaN hii mirii qalam kar dii
> > tumhaarii baat se maiN ne jo iKhtilaaf kiyaa
> ***aap ke is she'r par aek 'classical' matl'a yaad aa gayaa:
>
> khule the lab k us ne kaaT kar merii zabaaN rakh dii

> hamesha ke liye teh kar ke Gham kii daastaaN rakh dii"!***
>
bahut umdah! yahaaN "teh kar ke rakh dii" kii tarkeeb kaa javaab nahiiN.

> > hamiiN ko shauq thaa sach bolne kaa ai :Abid:
> > ki ham ne saare zamaane ko Khud Khilaaf kiyaa
> ***agar aap lafz "hamiiN" ko takraar de deN to kaisa rahe? jaise,
> hamiiN ko shauq thaa sach bolne kaa ai :Abid:
> hamiiN ne saare zamaane ko Khud Khilaaf kiyaa
>

donoN misre agar "hamiiN" se shuruu'a hoN to she'r vaaqa'ii achchha lagegaa, lekin diqqat yih hai ki "hamiiN" meN "Khud" shaamil hai lihaaza "Khud" izaafii ho jayegaa.

> aek baar phir, aap ko is umda Ghazal par Dher saari mubaarak-baad!
>
> niyaaz-maNd, Raj Kumar***
>

navaazish, karam, shukriya, mehrbaanii!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Irfan Abid

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Oct 24, 2021, 12:01:31 PM10/24/21

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On Tuesday, October 19, 2021 at 10:58:54 PM UTC-4, Zoya wrote:
> On Saturday, October 16, 2021 at 1:02:35 PM UTC-5, Irfan Abid wrote:
> > aadaab, dosto!
>
> > ek haaliya Ghazal mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apni giraaN.qadr raae se navaaziye.
> Irfan sahib, aadaab,
>
> aap kii haaliya ghazal bilkul hasb-e-haal hai, aur bahut Khuub hai. daad aur mubarakbaad qubuul kiijiye.
> jaisaa k RK sahib ne kahaa, mujhe bhi qaafia bahut pasand aaya hai.
>

Zoya sahiba, aadaab!

nazar-e-inaayat aur daad ke liye behad mamnuun huuN. bahut bahut shukriya!

> jaane kyuN mujhe lag rahaa tha k kisi sh'er meN to aap yaqiinan 'shafaaf' istemaal kareN ge. to ek she'r aur ho jaaye, meri farmaaish par? :)
>

ab tak aap par 'inkishaaf' ho chukaa hogaa ki is Ghazal meN 'shaffaf' bataur-e-qaafiya iste'maal nahiiN ho saktaa. :)

> > Ghazal
>
> > dukhoN ke vaqt ne kyaa kyaa na inkishaaf kiyaa
> > ki jo aziiz thaa us hii ne inhiraaf kiyaa
> RK sahib, I know I know, until a few months ago I would have wanted to say 'us ne hii', but not anymore! I still remember the last time I questioned such a 'tarkiib', I got detailed lessons on this topic by you and Irfan sahib, my two esteemed ustaads. So, now I am good with 'us hii ne'. :)
>

That's very kind of you! :)

> Irfan sahib, 'inhiraaf' is not in my vocabulary, I had to look it up. Nice.
>

Thanks!

> > Khamosh aah-o-fuGhaaN ke nahiiN haiN ham qaail
> > jo naala ham ne kiyaa hai, falak-shigaaf kiyaa
> :(
> > hamaaraa qatl kiyaa aur phir kahaa us ne
> > vuh tuu ne aah jo kii thii, use mu’aaf kiyaa!
> I am curious about your response to the question RK sahib has raised regarding 'aah ko mu'aaf karnaa'.
>

I have replied to RK sb.

> > tum ihtiyaat to karte zaraa mukarne meN
> > chhurii ko tum ne chhupaayaa, na kaf ko saaf kiyaa
> Of course, the she'r most likely to come to mind after reading this is Kaleem Ajiz's "daaman pe koii chiiNT, na Khanjar pe koii daagh.....". However, the she'r that immediately came to my mind is by Ali Sardar Jafri. I had read this years ago in a newspaper during one of my visits to India, and it has stayed with me ever since. There have been many instances since then where this she'r seems to be a perfect fit, sad but true:
>
> aastiiN Khuun se tar, pyaar jataate ho magar
> kyaa ghazab karte ho, KhaNjar to chhupao sahib!
>

Never heard this before, but excellent!

> > yih kyaa Ghazab hai ki baiThaa hai taKht-e-munsif par
> > vuh jis ne jurm kaa apne Khud aitiraaf kiyaa
> goya "meraa qaatil hi meraa munsif hai....".
>

jee haaN. balki meraa hii nahiiN, saare zamaane kaa! yahi to 'Ghazab' hai. :)

> > unheN thii kaisii aqiidat bhalaa kise ma'luum
> > GhamoN ne dil kaa musalsal magar tavaaf kiyaa
> ghamoN ko dil se aqiidat thii? 'unheN' seems a bit ambiguous, at least to me. Yes?
>

I can see where the ambiguity may be coming from. 'unheN' is generally used for the 'mehbuub.' But that's not applicable in this context. Please see my reply to RK sb on this she'r.

> > yih kyaa ki tum ne zabaaN hii mirii qalam kar dii
> > tumhaarii baat se maiN ne jo iKhtilaaf kiyaa
> :-(
> > hamiiN ko shauq thaa sach bolne kaa ai :Abid:
> > ki ham ne saare zamaane ko Khud Khilaaf kiyaa
> Irfan sahib, aap ne sunaa nahiiN "jhuuT vaale kahaaN se kahaaN baRh gaye.....". vaise aaj kal to 'alternate facts' kaa bhii zamaana hai. :)
>

bajaa farmaayaa. kabhii kabhii ye suurat-e-haal dil ko bahut bojhil kar detii hai. lekin phir kisii ke is qaul se taqviyat miltii hai ki 'sach pareshaan ho saktaa hai, lekin haar nahiiN saktaa.'

> > niyaazmand,
> > Irfan :Abid:
>
> I have always loved reading your poetry, I find it just amazing that you can express your feelings about serious subjects so easily and eloquently. Your expression always makes me pause and think.
>
> Thank you.
>
> ______Zoya
>

Thank you for your continued patronage and encouragement. It's my honor and pleasure to have your blessings.

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid: