Mirza Ghalib Ki Ek Mash'hoor Ghazal Par Tazmeen

Afzal A. Khan

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Apr 26, 2021, 3:45:27 PM4/26/21

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Naazireen-e-giraami,

I am sure most ALUPers know what "Tazmeen" means....

However, for the benefit of the (very few) who may not
be familiar with this term, let me state that "Tazmeen"
is a style of Poetry (with particular reference to Urdu
Poetry) where a poet takes a verse from a ghazal/poem
composed by another poet of an earlier period and then
proceeds to add his own verses to what the original
poet had written.

****************

There is a famous ghazal by Mirza Ghalib where the first
misra' is :

"Muddat huwi hai yaar ko mehmaaN kiye huwe"

And here is a "tazmeen" with respect to the above ghazal
by another poet :

BaiTha hooN sham'-e-GHam ko farozaaN kiye huwe
BarsoN huwe haiN kaif ka saamaaN kiye huwe
'Arsa huwa hai rabT-e-dil-o-jaaN kiye huwe

Muddat huwi hai yaar ko mehmaaN kiye huwe
Josh-e-qadaH se bazm chiraaGHaaN kiye huwe

Thukra raha hooN aarzoo-e-taaj-o-taKHt ko
Kuchh aur kar raha hooN bulaNd auj-e-baKHt ko
Tai kar raha hooN 'ishq ki har raah-e-saKHt ko

Karta hooN jama' phir jigar-e-laKHt~laKHt ko
'Arsa huwa hai da'wat-e-mizhgaaN kiye huwe

Guzre haiN mujh ko door chaman se kayee baras
Shauq-e-bahaar o sair-e-gulistaaN ki hai hawas
Phir garmi-e-nigaah se jalne laga qafas

Phir garm naala~haaye sharar~baar hai nafas
Muddat huwi hai sair-e-chiraaGHaaN kiye huwe

HaathoN men KHaT ko lete hi dil se laga liya
Waaraftagi ne paRHne ki fursat na di zara
Ab ja ke iztiraab ka woh josh kam huwa

Phir chaahta hooN naama-e-dil'daar kholna
JaaN nazr-e-dil~farebiye 'unwaaN kiye huwe

Har lamHa intezaar ka hai mujh ko ik baras
Soz-e-GHam-e-firaaq se hai garm har nafas
Bas eHtiraam-e-aabroo-e-waze' 'ishq bas

MaaNge he phir kisi ko lab-e-baam par hawas
Zulf-e-siyaah ruKH pe pareeshaaN kiye huwe

HaNsti hai waze'~zuhd pe phir himmat-e-gunaah
Masjid se uTh ke leta hooN phir mai'kade ki raah
Phir hai nazar men saaqi-e-nau~KHez be~panaah

Ik nau~bahar-e-naaz ko taake hai phir nigaah
Chehra faroGH-e-mai se gulistaaN kiye huwe

KHud'daar ban ke 'ishq men khaayee haiN ThokareN
Ab chaahte haiN tark-e-GHuroor-e-wafa kareN
QadmoN men un ke 'umr-e-moHabbat guzaar deN

Phir ji men hai ke dar pe kisi ke paRe raheN
Sar zer'baar-e-minnat-e-dar'baaN kiye huwe

Taare shab-e-firaaq men ai chashm-e-GHam na gin
Yak'sooiy-e-KHayaal naheeN hoti yaar bin
Phir shauq chaahta hai wuhi daur-e-mut'main

Ji DhooN'Dta hai phir wuhi fursat ke raat din
BaiThe raheN tasawwur-e-jaanaaN kiye huwe

Ik 'umr jis ne jhele hoN sadme firaaq ke
Kya Ta'na~haaye dard ki woh taab la sake
Bas door hi se Haal Fareedi ka dekh le

Ghalib hameN na chheR ke phir josh-e-ashk se
BaiThe haiN ham tahaiyya-e-ToofaaN kiye huwe

****************

The "tazmeeN~nigaar" = MuGHeesuddin Fareedi

****************

Ghalib ki bulaNdiy-e-taKHaiyyul tak koi aur shaa'ir
KahaaN pahuNch sakta hai.

But one ought to give credit to Janaab Fareedi for making an
attempt.....

Afzal

B.G. M.

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Apr 27, 2021, 3:44:19 PM4/27/21

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Waah! Janab -e-Afzaal saahab!
Kyaa Khuub aur naayaab tazameen pesh kee hai, mazaa aa gayaa yeh nazm paRh kar.

“...taar-e- shab-e-firaaq meN ai chashm-e-GHam na gin

Yak'sooiy-e-KHayaal naheeN hoti yaar bin
Phir shauq chaahta hai wuhi daur-e-mut'main

Ji DhooN'Dta hai phir wuhi fursat ke raat din

BaiThe raheN tasawwur-e-jaanaaN kiye huwe”

Waa...h!

Your post always has something new.. zaraa haT ke.. type message and novel ideas of Urdu poetry.. very pleasing indeed!
Shukriya, janaab! 🙏

A.L.U.P. Is very fortunate to have your great contributions!
=========================================

Zoya

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Apr 27, 2021, 5:05:48 PM4/27/21

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> The "tazmeeN~nigaar" = MuGHeesuddin Fareedi

> Ghalib ki bulaNdiy-e-taKHaiyyul tak koi aur shaa'ir
> KahaaN pahuNch sakta hai.

> But one ought to give credit to Janaab Fareedi for making an attempt.....

> Afzal

Afzal sahib,

aadaab,

I toally agree, Fareedi sahib deserves a lot of credit for this brilliant attempt. To be perfectly honest, this is probably the single best 'tazneem' I have ever read, by any poet. Thank you so much for posting this, and if you have any information about the poet, please share that too.

With your permission, I would like to share this poem with a US based Qawwali group consisting of vibrant second generation young singers of Indian/Pakistani descent . For several years, I have been a mentor of the lead singer of this group. Besides performing for the South Asian diaspora, these young men have been doing an amazing job of introducing the genre of traditional Qawwali singing to the mainstream American audiences. Prior to the pandemic putting a halt to live performances, they were performing extensively all over US. I can so visualize them singing this 'tazmeen' as a Qawwali, peppered with one of my most favorite Ghalib ghazals. I can almost hear it already! Just awesome.

Ideally, the group likes to get a permission from the poets who are still alive, and approachable. Please let me know if you think it is good idea for me to pursue this further.

Thank you.

_______Zoya

B.G. M.

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Apr 27, 2021, 8:59:29 PM4/27/21

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___Zoya

No, Afzaal Saahab
Don’t give that permission unless... she agrees and shares the recording with all us ALUPers who like to listen the final version of that “qavvaali”!
😉😉😉
=======================

Zoya

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Apr 28, 2021, 10:37:41 AM4/28/21

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On Tuesday, April 27, 2021 at 7:59:29 PM UTC-5, B.G. M. wrote:

> No, Afzaal Saahab
> Don’t give that permission unless... she agrees and shares the recording with all us ALUPers who like to listen the final version of that “qavvaali”!
> 😉😉😉
> =======================

Deal, BGM sahib. :)

But remember this idea is just at conception stage right now. After permission, I'll have to run it by the lead singer so he can figure out what kind of tune can be used for this poem. My contribution is usually limited to suggesting lyrics, I have no knowledge of the musical components. Often times they sing medleys, combining asha'ar form several different ghazals ,having some common thread.

And Afzal sahib, please excuse the early typo in my previous post, some how 'm' and 'n' got swapped when I was typing 'tazmeen'.

____Zoya

Naseer

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Apr 30, 2021, 7:01:01 PM4/30/21

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ٓ
A very cleverly and skillfully constructed tazmiin, Afzal SaaHib. Thank you for posting it here for our reading pleasure.

MuGHeesuddin Fareedi, born in 1926, in Fatehpur, UP, India, has a number of books to his name. One of these is "kufr-i-tamannaa", which is a collection of his poetry.

sirf alfaaz pih mauquuf nahiiN lutf-i-suxan
aaNkh xaamosh agar hai to zabaaN kuchh bhii nahiiN

.........................................

Naseer