Mehfil-e-Gazal #594 - Gulzar
Rahul Upadhyaya
Poet: Gulzar
Its been a while since Gulzar has featured on Mehfil-e-Gazal.
I think the last time I posted anything by him was a ghazal
from Marasim. The many Gulzar fans out there haven't been
very happy with me. :-) So before they do anything drastic,
here goes:
shaam se aa.Nkho.n me.n namii sii hai
aaj phir aap kii kamii sii hai
dafn kar do ke hame.n saa.Ns mile
nabz kuchh der se thamii sii hai
[dafn karanaa = to bury; nabz = pulse]
vaqt rahataa nahii.n kahii.n chhup kar
us ki aadat bhii aadamii sii hai
ko_ii rishtaa nahii.n rahaa phir bhii
ek tasliim laazamii sii hai
[tasliim = greeting/salutation; laazamii = essential/compulsory]
Thanks to Ejaz for sharing this with us. Personally speaking,
I am not very fond of Gulzar, the poet. Gulzar the lyricist
and Gulzar the film director are a different matter.
[Note: I may clarify here that these are Nita's postings and
Nita's remarks. I am mereley posting them to ALUP. Having said
that let me add that I agree with her on Gulzar.]
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Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/
vijay...@my-deja.com
Rahul Upadhyaya <upad...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Date: 12-Dec-2000
> Poet: Gulzar
> Thanks to Ejaz for sharing this with us. Personally speaking,
> I am not very fond of Gulzar, the poet. Gulzar the lyricist
> and Gulzar the film director are a different matter.
>
I agree that Gulzar is not much of a ghazal writer and I don't believe
he lays any claim to that either. He, however, writes quite good songs
and nazm's. Here is one I like quite a bit; unvaan hai Nisbat:
bahut se haath utrne lage haiN kaNdhoN par
bahut si uNgliiaaN juRne lagi haiN haathoN meN
s'laam karte haiN voh log chhuuke maathe ko
'v'laam' kehte the jo sar kii aik jumbish se
haNsii kii raal tapkatii hai logoN ke muuNh se
Khaloos-o-shauq hathelii pe rakh ke laate haiN
baRe t'paak se milte haiN milne vaale mujhe
huuii hai tujh se jo nisbat usii kaa sadqa hai
vagrnaa.....
'vagrnaa shehar meN ghalib kii aabruu kyaa hai'
Vijay Kumar
P.S.
huuaa hai shaah ka musaahib phire hai itraata
vagrnaa shehar meN ghalib kii aabruu kyaa hai
Mirza Ghalib
na...@my-deja.com
Diary
*****
na jaane kiski ye diary hai
na naam hai
na pata hai koi :
"har aik karwaT mein yaad karta huN tum ko lekin
ye karwaTeiN lete raat din yoon masal rahe haiN mere badan ko
tumhari yaadoN ke jism par neel paD gaye haiN"
ek aur safhe (page) pe yooN likha hai:
"kabhi kabhi raat ki siyahi,
kuch aisi chehre pe jam si jaati hai
laakh ragDooN,
sahar ke paani se laakh dhoouN
magar woh kalakh nahiN utarti !
milogi jab tum pata chalega
maiN aur bhi kaala ho gaya hooN"
ye haashiye meiN likha hua hai:
"maiN dhoop mein jal ke itna kaala nahiN hua tha
ki jitna is raat meiN sulag ke siyaah hua hooN"
maheen lafzoN mein ik jagah yooN likha hai usne:
"tumheN bhi to yaad hogi woh raat sardiyoN ki
jab auNdhi kashti ke neeche hamne
badan ke choolhe jala ke taape the, din kiya tha !
ye patharaoN ka bichauna hargiz na saKht lagta jo tum bhi hoteeN
tumheN bichaata bhi oDhta bhi"
ik aur safhe pe phir usi raat ka bayaN hai:
"tum aik takiye meiN geele baaloN ki bhar ke khushboo,
jo aaj bhejo....
to neeNd aa jaye, so hi jaooN..."
kuch aisa lagta hai jisne bhi diary likhi hai
woh shahar aaya hai gaaoN meiN chchoD kar kisi ko
talaash meiN kaam hi ke shayad:
"main shahar ki is machine meiN fit hooN jaise Dhibri,
zaroori hai ye zara sa purza...
aham bhi hai kyoN ki roz ke roz tail de kar,
ise zara aur kas ke jata hai chief mera...
woh roz kasta hai,
roz ik peNch aur chaDhta hai jab nasoN par,
to ji meiN aata hai zahar kha looN...
ya bhaag jaaoN..."
kuch "ukhDe ukhDe" kaTe huye se ajeeb jumle !
"kahani woh jis meiN aik shahzaadi chaaT leti hai
apni angushtari ka heera,
woh tum ne poori nahiN sunai"
"kaDoN mein sona nahin hai,
un par sunahri paani chDha hua hai"
ik aur zevar ka zikr bhi hai:
"woh naak ki nath na bechna tum...
woh jhooTa moti hai, tum se sachcha kaha tha maiN ne,
sunar ke paas ja ke sharmindagi si hogi"
"ye waqt ka thaan khulta rahta hai pal-ba-pal,
aur log poshaakeN kaaTkar,
apne apne andaaz se pahante hain waqt lekin...
jo maiN ne kaaTi thi thaan se ik kameez
woh tang ho rahi hai !"
"kabhi kabhi is pighalte lohe ko garm bhaTTi meiN kaam karte,
ThiThurne lagta hai ye badan jaise saKht sardi meiN bhun raha ho,
buKhaar rahta hai kuch dinoN se..."
magar ye satreIn baDi ajeeb haiN,
kahiN tawazan bigaD gaya hai
ya seevan udhaD gayi hai
"faraar hooN maiN kai dinoN se
jo ghupp andhere ki teer jaisi surang ik kaan se
shuru ho ke doosre kaan tak gayi hai,
maiN us nali meiN chupa hua hooN,
tum aa ke tinke se mujh ko bahar nikal lena..."
koi nahiN aayega ye keeDe nikalne ab
ki inko to shahar mein dhuaaN deke maara jata hai naaliyoN mein !
-The End.
abhiji...@my-deja.com
have not heard the Asha Bhosle version for some time so can't exactly
remember the words on that.
> shaam se aa.Nkho.n me.n namii sii hai
> aaj phir aap kii kamii sii hai
>
> dafn kar do ke hame.n saa.Ns mile
> nabz kuchh der se thamii sii hai
>
> [dafn karanaa = to bury; nabz = pulse]
>
> vaqt rahataa nahii.n kahii.n chhup kar
> us ki aadat bhii aadamii sii hai
rajkp...@my-deja.com
abhiji...@my-deja.com wrote:
> The Jagjit album I have has the following words -slightly different. I
> have not heard the Asha Bhosle version for some time so can't exactly
> remember the words on that.
Abhijit Saahib:
While you are at it, you may as well check the following she'r:
> > dafn kar do ke hame.n saa.Ns mile
> > nabz kuchh der se thamii sii hai
The first misra is out-of-meter. It might be
dafn kar do hameN ke saaNs mile --- or
dafn kar do ke ham ko saaNs mile.
Very likely, the former!
Raj Kumar
vijay...@my-deja.com
rajkp...@my-deja.com wrote:
> Abhijit Saahib:
>
> While you are at it, you may as well check the following she'r:
>
> > > dafn kar do ke hame.n saa.Ns mile
> > > nabz kuchh der se thamii sii hai
>
> The first misra is out-of-meter. It might be
>
> dafn kar do hameN ke saaNs mile --- or
> dafn kar do ke ham ko saaNs mile.
>
> Very likely, the former!
>
Raj Sahib, aadaab:
If the 'ke' in the first misra is read as a short 'ki' and followed
immediately with hameN, more or less like -ki'hameN-; that brings it in
meter, doesn't it? I say this because I think Gulzar wrote it the way
it is posted.
Regarsd,
Vijay Kumar
PS: Still looking out for your new ghazal(?s:-))!
vijay...@my-deja.com
>
> dafn kar do hameN ke saaNs mile --- >
> Raj Kumar
>
> Sent via Deja.com
> http://www.deja.com/
Raj Sahib, I just checked; Jagjit Singh sings it as you guess!
Regards,
Vijay Kumar
rajkp...@my-deja.com
vijay...@my-deja.com wrote:
> In article <925vam$jc8$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
> rajkp...@my-deja.com wrote:
> > > > dafn kar do ke hame.n saa.Ns mile
> > > > nabz kuchh der se thamii sii hai
> >
> > The first misra is out-of-meter. It might be
> >
> > dafn kar do hameN ke saaNs mile --- or
> > dafn kar do ke ham ko saaNs mile.
> >
> > Very likely, the former!
> >
>
> Raj Sahib, aadaab:
>
> If the 'ke' in the first misra is read as a short 'ki' and followed
> immediately with hameN, more or less like -ki'hameN-; that brings it
> in
> meter, doesn't it?
Vijay Saahib:
First of all, this particular 'ke' is always supposed to have a short
vowel --- so, that is not the problem. And your feeling that this misra
is 'in-meter' is not wrong either! The problem, however, is that the
meter to which this misra conforms is NOT the meter of this Ghazal!!!
This is a rather subtle point, which I'll try to explain with the help
of a (very apt) example.
Here is a misra by Maulaana Haali:
"kar ke beemaar di davaa tuu ne".
The meter, to which this misra conforms, I'll call meter-1.
Now, change this misra a little bit and see what happens:
"kar ke beemaar davaa di tuu ne".
We now have a different meter; I'll call it meter-2.
Some famous Ghazals pertaining to meter-1 are:
dil-e-naadaaN! tujhe hua kya hai?
koi soorat nazar naheeN aati
raat bhi, neeNd bhi, kahaani bhi
paas aao to koi baat bane
[aap ne note kiya hoga ke maiN sirf 'esaatezaa' hi ke kalaam ka havaala
de rahaa hooN!] LOL
Some famous Ghazals pertaining to meter-2 are
dil jigar tishna-e-fariyaad aaya
tere tausan ko, sabaa, baandhate haiN
dil meiN far_hat jo kabhi aati hai
baat hoNtoN pe chali aayii hai
[Again, only 'esaateza'!] :-))
-------------
Now, here is the problem: Gulzar's Ghazal is in meter-1, whereas this
particular misra, as reported, is in meter-2. And the two meters,
though quite close to one another, are NOT interchangeable. I,
therefore, doubt that Gulzar wrote it this way.
> I say this because I think Gulzar wrote it the way
> it is posted.
I would like to know the basis on which you think Gulzar wrote it this
way. I personally feel that, regardless of one's opinion on Gulzar as a
poet, he wouldn't mess up the meter of his Ghazal..........
as this misra seems to be doing!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
> PS: Still looking out for your new ghazal(?s:-))!
Which Ghazal are we talking about? You may not know, Vijay Saahib, but
my memory these days is not as good as it used to be! :-))
Nevertheless, I'll try to recall if I made any promise lately and, if
successful in doing so, will definitely post the Ghazal in question.
R.K.
vijay...@my-deja.com
rajkp...@my-deja.com wrote:
> First of all, this particular 'ke' is always supposed to have a short
> vowel --- so, that is not the problem. And your feeling that this
>misra is 'in-meter' is not wrong either! The problem, however, is that
>the
> meter to which this misra conforms is NOT the meter of this Ghazal!!!
> This is a rather subtle point, which I'll try to explain with the help
> of a (very apt) example.
>
> Here is a misra by Maulaana Haali:
> "kar ke beemaar di davaa tuu ne".
> The meter, to which this misra conforms, I'll call meter-1.
>
> Now, change this misra a little bit and see what happens:
>
> "kar ke beemaar davaa di tuu ne".
> We now have a different meter; I'll call it meter-2.
>
Bahut bahut shukriia Raj Sahib; yeh to bahut acchaa sabaq raha. These
sort of subtelities are what sort out 'boys from men' or as my English
Professor, Prof Badal used to say; 'sheep from goat'. Thanks fro taking
the time. I am going to save this post for future reference.
> I would like to know the basis on which you think Gulzar wrote it this
> way. I personally feel that, regardless of one's opinion on Gulzar as
a
> poet, he wouldn't mess up the meter of his Ghazal..........
> as this misra seems to be doing!
My source, unfortunately, was 'the web' and likely the same version has
made the rounds elsewhere.
> Which Ghazal are we talking about? You may not know, Vijay Saahib, but
> my memory these days is not as good as it used to be! :-))
> Nevertheless, I'll try to recall if I made any promise lately and, if
> successful in doing so, will definitely post the Ghazal in question.
Fortunately, my memory is working just fine Raj Sahib; so just to
remind you, you had promised to post 'abhii ruk jaao' and 'gardo-Ghubar
meN guzrii' and I think another new one that you are currently working
on:-) LOL
rajkp...@my-deja.com
vijay...@my-deja.com wrote:
> Bahut bahut shukriia, Raj Sahib; yeh to bahut acchaa sabaq raha. These
> sort of subtelities are what sort out 'boys from men' or as my English
> Professor, Prof Badal, used to say; 'sheep from goats'. Thanks for
> taking
> the time. I am going to save this post for future reference.
Vijay Saahib:
jooN-hi maiN ne apna yeh 'sabaq' post kiya, aap ka 'brief note' mausool
hua jis meiN aap ne yeh bataaya tha ke Jagjit Singh ne is misre ko
vaise hi gaaya hai jaise ke Khaak-saar ne socha tha. yeh paRh kar dil
ko shaaNti hui ke mera aNdaaza (jo ke maiN ne sirf aek hi pal meiN
lagaa liya tha) saheeh nikla! magar kaash ke aap ka yeh note zaraa
pehle mil jaata to mujhe yeh taveel 'sabaq' to na likhna paRta! :-))
Khair, chaliye, isi bahaane aap ko (aur deegar ALUPers ko) yeh pataa to
chal gayaa ke 'metering' kitni baareek-beeni ki baat hai. afsos to yeh
hai ke bahut se log she'r kehne ka shauq to rakhte haiN magar is
'gambheer samassaya' ko naheeN samajhte.
> My source, unfortunately, was 'the web' and likely the same version
> has
> made the rounds elsewhere.
ab ham jahaan bhar ki tas'heeh to kar naheeN sakte. magar itni ummeed
to rakhte haiN ke, kam-az-kam, Nita ji apne web-site par yeh tas'heeh
kar leN gi! :-))
> Fortunately, my memory is working just fine, Raj Sahib; so just to
> remind you, you had promised to post 'abhii ruk jaao' and 'gardo-
> Ghubar
> meN guzrii' and I think another new one that you are currently working
> on:-) LOL
chaliye, yeh 'gard-o-Ghubaar' vaali Ghazal to jald hi post kar dooN ga
magar 'abhi ruk jaao' vaali ke baare meiN to yihi kehna paRe ga ke,
Vijay Saahib, "abhi ruk jaao". :-))
vajah is ki yeh ke yeh Ghazal akeli naheeN hai; is se paivasta aek aur
Ghazal hai jis ki radeef hai 'tum aao to sahi'. goya, yeh aek
'do-Ghazala' hai jis ke pehle hisse meiN to mehbooba ko aane ki talqeen
ki gayee hai aur doosre hisse meiN use mazeed rukne ki! yeh
'do-Ghazala' abhi zer-e-tarteeb hai; is ke liye, aap ko zaraa sa
intezaar karna hoga!
And the new one I am currently working on? husn-e-ittefaaq se, voh
Ghazal naheeN hai, balke aek nazm hai --- aek taveeeeel nazm, jo ke
(halke-phulke aNdaaz meiN kahi gayee) meri "savaaneh-umri" hai! us
ki 'opening line' hai:
dosto! aao, suno aaj kahaani meri
aur phir, behr-e-Khudaa, voh bhi zabaani meri!
is nazm meiN koi 25-30 ash'aar haiN, jo ke abhi 'zeroth draft' ki stage
meiN haiN; yeh ash'aar kayee baar dohraane ke ba'ad munaasib shakl
iKhtiyaar kareN ge --- tab ja kar kaheeN is qaabil hoN ge ke aap ki
Khidmat meiN pesh kiye ja sakeN! :-))
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar