Allama Iqbal - 4 ash'aar.
U.V. Ravindra
Khawateen-o-hazraat (aur Khaas taur par Raj sahib :-))
Allama Iqbal ki jis Ghazal ka zikr maiN ne "AJNABI"-waale
thread meiN kal raat kiya tha, us ke kul 4 hi ash'aar mere
haath lage haiN, jinheN yahaaN pesh kar rahaa hooN.
--
1. saKhtiyaaN kartaa hooN dil par, Ghair se Ghaafil hooN maiN
haa`e kyaa achchhI kahi - zaalim hooN maiN, jaahil hooN maiN
2. maiN jabhI tak thaa ke tErI jalwa_pairaa`i na thI
jo numood-e-haq se miT jaataa hai woh baatil hooN maiN
3. bazm-e-hasti! apni aaraa`ish pe tu naazaaN na ho!
tu to ik tasweer hai mahfil ki, aur mahfil hooN maiN
4. DhooNDtaa phirtaa hooN ai 'Iqbal' apne aap ko
aap hI goyaa musaafir, aap hi manzil hooN maiN
--
I hope ALUPers will excuse my irreverence to this great poet,
lekin meri nazar meiN yeh ash'aar na "Allama" Iqbal ke haiN, na
"Sir" Iqbal ke, balke sirf "Mohd. Iqbal" ke haiN. jo shaKhs
14(?) baras ki hi 'umr meiN "'araq-e-infe'Al" jaisa sh'er kah
sakta hai, us ke liye is tarah ke ash'aar kahna tuk_bandi karne
se ziyaadah kuchh nahiN hai (IMHO). sh'er #2 ke siwa kisi sh'er
meiN (mujhe) koi Khaas "dam" nahiN nazar aata (*ma....ay be* #3).
talab_gaar-e-aaraa-e-naqeez (don't shoot me, Tabassum sahiba :-))
faqat,
Ravindra.
P.S.
rajkp...@my-deja.com
In article <385A6DDD...@usa.net>,
"U.V. Ravindra" <u...@usa.net> wrote:
>
> Khawateen-o-hazraat (aur Khaas taur par Raj sahib :-))
bhai, yeh to ziyaadati hai, Ravindra Sahib, jo aap ne mera naam
sar-e-varaq likh Daala hai: ab to mujhe chaar-o-naachaar aap ki post ka
javaab dena hi hoga. magar peshtar is ke keh maiN in ash'aar se
uljhooN, mujhe do-aek baateN aap se kehni haiN.
1. voh jo "ajnabi" vaali laRi meiN aek-aadh savaal maiN ne aap se
poochha hai, us ka javaab zaroor deejiye ga --- taake voh laRi bhi
khush-usloobi se khatm par aaye!
2. jo ta'assuraat aap ne meri nazm "yeh aashiyaaN hamaara" par
ba-raah-e-raast mujhe bheje haiN, un ke liye shukriya!
3. maiN pichhle bees maheenoN se ALUP par likh rahaa hooN aur, saath hi
saath, deegar ALUPers ki likhkhi hui posts paRh bhi rahaa hooN. is
asnaa meiN, mushkil se koi 7-8 naye alfaaz seekhe haiN....kuchh Ali
Minai Sahib se, kuchh Sanaa Sahiba se aur kuchh Tabassum Sahiba se.
aaj aek nayaa lafz aap se seekha hai --- naqeez! maiN ne yeh lafz pehle
kabhi naheeN sunaa tha. jab dekha ke aap "aaraa-e-naqeez" ke talab-gaar
haiN to fauran Platts ki panaah li aur dam-ba-khud ho kar reh gayaa ke
kaisaa mauzooN lafz aap ne barta hai!!!
For those who may not know it, aaraa is the plural of raaye and naqeez
(with zwaad) means contradictory, to the contrary, ----. So,
aaraa-e-naqeez = opinions to the contrary.
Thanks to all four of you!!!!
4. So, here is my first opinion to the contrary.
aap ko, in ash'aar meiN, she'r #2 meiN kuchh dam nazar aaya hai aur
thoRa-bahut #3 meiN. huzoor, mujhe to #4 sab se behtar lagaa hai.
tafseeli raaye haazir hai.
-----------------
> 1. saKhtiyaaN kartaa hooN dil par, Ghair se Ghaafil hooN maiN
> haa`e kyaa achchhI kahi - zaalim hooN maiN, jaahil hooN maiN
Are you sure of the word Ghair? If yes, then I wouldn't look at this
she'r twice. If not, then my opinion about it might change.
ba-har-haal, baat yeh hai ke (shaa'id kuchh logoN ko is baat ka ilm ho,
ya na bhi ho, magar) Iqbal, apni shaa'iri ke aaghaaz meiN, Ustaad Daagh
ke shaagird bane the. agarche ba'ad meiN unhoN ne apni nayee raaheN
talaash kar leeN, magar shuroo' shuroo' meiN apne Ustaad ki taqleed
kiyaa karte the. kabhi kabhi yeh taqleed nihaayat kaamyaabi se kar
paate the, kabhi kabhi aisa na ho paata tha. maslan, un ke yeh ash'aar
dekhiye:
na aate, hameN is meiN takraar kya thi?
magar va'ada karte huye aar kya thi?
tumhaare payaami ne sab raaz khole
khataa is meiN bande ki, sarkaar, kya thi?
hai na bilkul Daagh ka andaaz? aur kya khoobi se nibhaaya hai ise?
agar ghaur se dekha jaaye to aap ke she'r #1 meiN bhi yihi koshish
kaar-farmaa hai --- but it seems to have fallen flat!
> 2. maiN jabhI tak thaa ke tErI jalwa_pairaa`i na thI
> jo numood-e-haq se miT jaataa hai woh baatil hooN maiN
[jalwa-pairaa'i = jalwe oRh kar numaayaaN hona, jalwa-numaa'i karna].
she'r buraa naheeN; haq-o-baatil ki baat usi andaaz meiN ki hai jaise
noor-o-zulmat ki baat ki jaati hai. agar to yeh baateN "haqeeqi" rang
meiN haiN, to maiN mazeed kuchh naheeN kehne ka!
aur agar yeh baateN "majaazi" rang ki haiN, to aap zaraa Prof. Kirpal
Singh Bedaar ka yeh she'r dekhiye:
nazar ke nasheb-e-faraaz, Allah, Allah!!
abhi maiN hi maiN tha, abhi tu hi tu hai!!!!!!!!!
aur agar is mazmoon ko sire hi se ulaT diya jaaye (which would be my
personal preference), tab Maulaana Haali ka yeh she'r dekhiye:
pesh-az-zuhoor-e-ishq kisi ka nishaaN na tha
tha husn me-zabaan, koi meihmaaN na tha!!!
Now, I'll let you be the judge! :-))
> 3. bazm-e-hasti! apni aaraa`ish pe tu naazaaN na ho!
> tu to ik tasweer hai mahfil ki, aur mahfil hooN maiN
A reasonably good she'r.
yahaaN par, khudaa ki kaa'inaat ke pas-manzar meiN, aadami ko aek khaas
markazi maqaam muhaiyaa kiyaa ja rahaa hai ....... jise "paighaam-e-
khudi" ka pesh-khaima samjha ja sakta hai!
> 4. DhooNDtaa phirtaa hooN ai 'Iqbal' apne aap ko
> aap hI goyaa musaafir, aap hi manzil hooN maiN
yeh she'r, seedhe-saadhe lafzoN meiN, "self-realization" jaise aham
concept ka sabaq de rahaa hai. she'r meiN taghazzul bhi hai aur
falsafaa bhi.
lafz 'goya' ka iste'maal bhi khoob hai (though no comparison with that
exemplary use by Ustaad Momin)!
jis baat ki talqeen, is she'r meiN, Iqbal ne khud apne aap se ki hai,
usi baat ki talqeen aek aur jagah apne mehboob se bhi ki hai; zaraa
andaaz-e-bayaaN mulaahiza ho.
apne man meiN Doob kar paa jaa suraagh-e-zindagi
tu agar mera naheeN banta, na ban, apna to ban!!!
mujhe ummeed hai ke ab aap ko she'r #4 meiN bhi thoRa-bahut dam to
nazar aane lage ga! :-))
------------
I hope these comments help.
khair-andesh, Raj Kumar
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
U.V. Ravindra
>
> chalain, is ghazal ke bachay kuchay 2 ashar ham pesh kar daitain
> hain,
<snipped>
bahut bahut shukriya, Naheed sahiba, Ghazal ke baaqi ash'aar
post karne ka. m'aaloom hota hai in ash'aar mein Allama ne
kaThin istilaaHeN hi nahiN ist'emaal kiiN, balke Khayalaat
meiN bhi pEchiida_gi bhar di hai :-)
> ilam ke derya se niklay ghuta-zan gohar badast
> wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
yeh sh'er kuchh samajh nahiN aaya. pehle misr'e meiN
lafz 'ghuta-zan' se maiN waaqif nahiN hooN. Maulvi sahib
janaab Abd`ul Haq ki luGhat meiN bhi is lafz ka koi
naqsh-o-nishaan na mila. :-( kya haiN is lafz ke ma'ani?
doosre misr'e meiN jumla ghaaliban "Khazif_cheen-E-lab-E-saahil
hooN maiN" hona chaahiye?
> hai meri zaat hi kuch meri sharafat ki daleel
> jis ki ghaflat ko malak rotay hain wo ghafil hon main
meri raaye meiN 'zaat' aur 'hi' ko interchange karna chaahiye:
hai merI hI zaat kuchh mErI sharAfat kI daleel
jis ki Ghaflat kO malak rOtE haiN woh Ghaafil hooN maiN
warna behr ga.D-ba.D ho rahi hai.
I wouldn't be presumptuous enough to claim to understand this
sh'er, lekin shaayad Allama ki muraad insaan ki (Adam ki) zaat
se hai, jis ki Ghaflat par farishte bhi ashk_baar ho jaate haiN.
This Ghaflat is probably a reference to the idea that Adam ki
santaan Khud itna nahiN jaanti (in a spiritual sense) keh woh
kahaaN se aayi haiN and what it is capable of.
That's what I think. But then, as usual, I could be wa....ay off
the mark.
faqat,
Ravindra.
Naheed Rana
"U.V. Ravindra" <u...@usa.net> wrote in message
news:385A6DDD...@usa.net...
|
| Khawateen-o-hazraat (aur Khaas taur par Raj sahib :-))
|
| Allama Iqbal ki jis Ghazal ka zikr maiN ne "AJNABI"-waale
| thread meiN kal raat kiya tha, us ke kul 4 hi ash'aar mere
| haath lage haiN, jinheN yahaaN pesh kar rahaa hooN.
chalain, is ghazal ke bachay kuchay 2 ashar ham pesh kar daitain hain, aur
aisee koi "hushiyaari" nahi dikhatay ,jo ke baqol Raj Kumar Sahab, ham ne
Nasir Kazmi ki ghazal main dikhai thi :-)
ilam ke derya se niklay ghuta-zan gohar badast
wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
hai meri zaat hi kuch meri sharafat ki daleel
jis ki ghaflat ko malak rotay hain wo ghafil hon main
|
| --
| 1. saKhtiyaaN kartaa hooN dil par, Ghair se Ghaafil hooN maiN
| haa`e kyaa achchhI kahi - zaalim hooN maiN, jaahil hooN maiN
|
| 2. maiN jabhI tak thaa ke tErI jalwa_pairaa`i na thI
| jo numood-e-haq se miT jaataa hai woh baatil hooN maiN
|
| 3. bazm-e-hasti! apni aaraa`ish pe tu naazaaN na ho!
| tu to ik tasweer hai mahfil ki, aur mahfil hooN maiN
|
| 4. DhooNDtaa phirtaa hooN ai 'Iqbal' apne aap ko
| aap hI goyaa musaafir, aap hi manzil hooN maiN
tab...@my-deja.com
Rajkumar saheb ki tashreeh padhne ke baad ab ghazal ke bare mein
apni rai dene ki zaroorat to nahi rahi. Haan aap ki is baat se muttafiq
hun keh agar ghazal ke chand ashar Allama Iqbal ke my'aar ke nahi hain.
> > ilam ke derya se niklay ghuta-zan gohar badast
> > wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
Ghauta( Ghain wow toain he - yaani Dive). Mere khyaal se yahan Allama
Iqbaal ne Ghauta-Khor ki jagha Ghauta zan istemal kiya hai.
Aur is shair ka lafzi tarjuma to yeh ho sakta hai keh log to ilm ke
dariyaa mein doob kar moti nikal laaye aur meri badqismati hai keh
main sahil per paththat hi chunta raha.
Yeh to hua lafzi tarjuma, aage aap khud mashallah aqalmand hain, warna
hamaare guru ji to maujood hain hi :-)
-tabassum
In article <385DABBB...@usa.net>,
"U.V. Ravindra" <u...@usa.net> wrote:
> Naheed Rana wrote:
> >
> > chalain, is ghazal ke bachay kuchay 2 ashar ham pesh kar daitain
> > hain,
>
> <snipped>
>
> bahut bahut shukriya, Naheed sahiba, Ghazal ke baaqi ash'aar
> post karne ka. m'aaloom hota hai in ash'aar mein Allama ne
> kaThin istilaaHeN hi nahiN ist'emaal kiiN, balke Khayalaat
> meiN bhi pEchiida_gi bhar di hai :-)
>
> > ilam ke derya se niklay ghuta-zan gohar badast
> > wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
>
> yeh sh'er kuchh samajh nahiN aaya. pehle misr'e meiN
> lafz 'ghuta-zan' se maiN waaqif nahiN hooN. Maulvi sahib
> janaab Abd`ul Haq ki luGhat meiN bhi is lafz ka koi
> naqsh-o-nishaan na mila. :-( kya haiN is lafz ke ma'ani?
>
> doosre misr'e meiN jumla ghaaliban "Khazif_cheen-E-lab-E-saahil
> hooN maiN" hona chaahiye?
>
> > hai meri zaat hi kuch meri sharafat ki daleel
> > jis ki ghaflat ko malak rotay hain wo ghafil hon main
>
> meri raaye meiN 'zaat' aur 'hi' ko interchange karna chaahiye:
> hai merI hI zaat kuchh mErI sharAfat kI daleel
> jis ki Ghaflat kO malak rOtE haiN woh Ghaafil hooN maiN
> warna behr ga.D-ba.D ho rahi hai.
>
> I wouldn't be presumptuous enough to claim to understand this
> sh'er, lekin shaayad Allama ki muraad insaan ki (Adam ki) zaat
> se hai, jis ki Ghaflat par farishte bhi ashk_baar ho jaate haiN.
> This Ghaflat is probably a reference to the idea that Adam ki
> santaan Khud itna nahiN jaanti (in a spiritual sense) keh woh
> kahaaN se aayi haiN and what it is capable of.
>
> That's what I think. But then, as usual, I could be wa....ay off
> the mark.
>
> faqat,
> Ravindra.
>
--
tabassum
U.V. Ravindra
>
> 1. voh jo "ajnabi" vaali laRi meiN aek-aadh savaal maiN ne aap se
> poochha hai, us ka javaab zaroor deejiye ga --- taake voh laRi bhi
> khush-usloobi se khatm par aaye!
ummeed hai jo jawaab maiN ne diye haiN woh is meiN kaargar hoN_ge :-)
> 2. jo ta'assuraat aap ne meri nazm "yeh aashiyaaN hamaara" par
> ba-raah-e-raast mujhe bheje haiN, un ke liye shukriya!
The pleasure was mine! :-)
> aaj aek nayaa lafz aap se seekha hai --- naqeez! maiN ne yeh lafz
> pehle kabhi naheeN sunaa tha. jab dekha ke aap "aaraa-e-naqeez" ke
> talab-gaar haiN to fauran Platts ki panaah li aur dam-ba-khud ho kar
> reh gayaa ke kaisaa mauzooN lafz aap ne barta hai!!!
shukriya :-) (he said, patting himself on his back) :-)
> 4. So, here is my first opinion to the contrary.
> aap ko, in ash'aar meiN, she'r #2 meiN kuchh dam nazar aaya hai aur
> thoRa-bahut #3 meiN. huzoor, mujhe to #4 sab se behtar lagaa hai.
> tafseeli raaye haazir hai.
aap ki raaye waaq'ai naqeez nikli ... :-) sh'er #1 meiN to lafz
"Ghair" hi ist'emaal hua hai, lekin #4 ko apni aarifaanah qandeel
se raushan karne ka shukriya, Raj sahib!
ummeed hai isi qandeel se aap Naheed sahiba ke post kiye hue baaqi
ash'aar bhi raushan karenge. :-)
(aur yaqeenan, is baar maiN talabgaar-e-aaraa-e-naqeez nahiN hooN) :-)
LOL
faqat,
-Ravindra.
> -----------------
>
> > 1. saKhtiyaaN kartaa hooN dil par, Ghair se Ghaafil hooN maiN
> > haa`e kyaa achchhI kahi - zaalim hooN maiN, jaahil hooN maiN
>
> Are you sure of the word Ghair? If yes, then I wouldn't look at this
> she'r twice. If not, then my opinion about it might change.
>
> ba-har-haal, baat yeh hai ke (shaa'id kuchh logoN ko is baat ka ilm ho,
> ya na bhi ho, magar) Iqbal, apni shaa'iri ke aaghaaz meiN, Ustaad Daagh
> ke shaagird bane the. agarche ba'ad meiN unhoN ne apni nayee raaheN
> talaash kar leeN, magar shuroo' shuroo' meiN apne Ustaad ki taqleed
> kiyaa karte the. kabhi kabhi yeh taqleed nihaayat kaamyaabi se kar
> paate the, kabhi kabhi aisa na ho paata tha. maslan, un ke yeh ash'aar
> dekhiye:
>
> na aate, hameN is meiN takraar kya thi?
> magar va'ada karte huye aar kya thi?
>
> tumhaare payaami ne sab raaz khole
> khataa is meiN bande ki, sarkaar, kya thi?
>
> hai na bilkul Daagh ka andaaz? aur kya khoobi se nibhaaya hai ise?
>
> agar ghaur se dekha jaaye to aap ke she'r #1 meiN bhi yihi koshish
> kaar-farmaa hai --- but it seems to have fallen flat!
>
> > 2. maiN jabhI tak thaa ke tErI jalwa_pairaa`i na thI
> > jo numood-e-haq se miT jaataa hai woh baatil hooN maiN
>
> [jalwa-pairaa'i = jalwe oRh kar numaayaaN hona, jalwa-numaa'i karna].
>
> she'r buraa naheeN; haq-o-baatil ki baat usi andaaz meiN ki hai jaise
> noor-o-zulmat ki baat ki jaati hai. agar to yeh baateN "haqeeqi" rang
> meiN haiN, to maiN mazeed kuchh naheeN kehne ka!
> aur agar yeh baateN "majaazi" rang ki haiN, to aap zaraa Prof. Kirpal
> Singh Bedaar ka yeh she'r dekhiye:
>
> nazar ke nasheb-e-faraaz, Allah, Allah!!
> abhi maiN hi maiN tha, abhi tu hi tu hai!!!!!!!!!
>
> aur agar is mazmoon ko sire hi se ulaT diya jaaye (which would be my
> personal preference), tab Maulaana Haali ka yeh she'r dekhiye:
>
> pesh-az-zuhoor-e-ishq kisi ka nishaaN na tha
> tha husn me-zabaan, koi meihmaaN na tha!!!
>
> Now, I'll let you be the judge! :-))
>
> > 3. bazm-e-hasti! apni aaraa`ish pe tu naazaaN na ho!
> > tu to ik tasweer hai mahfil ki, aur mahfil hooN maiN
>
> A reasonably good she'r.
> yahaaN par, khudaa ki kaa'inaat ke pas-manzar meiN, aadami ko aek khaas
> markazi maqaam muhaiyaa kiyaa ja rahaa hai ....... jise "paighaam-e-
> khudi" ka pesh-khaima samjha ja sakta hai!
>
> > 4. DhooNDtaa phirtaa hooN ai 'Iqbal' apne aap ko
> > aap hI goyaa musaafir, aap hi manzil hooN maiN
>
> yeh she'r, seedhe-saadhe lafzoN meiN, "self-realization" jaise aham
> concept ka sabaq de rahaa hai. she'r meiN taghazzul bhi hai aur
> falsafaa bhi.
> lafz 'goya' ka iste'maal bhi khoob hai (though no comparison with that
> exemplary use by Ustaad Momin)!
>
> jis baat ki talqeen, is she'r meiN, Iqbal ne khud apne aap se ki hai,
> usi baat ki talqeen aek aur jagah apne mehboob se bhi ki hai; zaraa
> andaaz-e-bayaaN mulaahiza ho.
>
> apne man meiN Doob kar paa jaa suraagh-e-zindagi
> tu agar mera naheeN banta, na ban, apna to ban!!!
>
> mujhe ummeed hai ke ab aap ko she'r #4 meiN bhi thoRa-bahut dam to
> nazar aane lage ga! :-))
>
> ------------
>
> I hope these comments help.
>
> khair-andesh, Raj Kumar
>
Archana Harit
Bahut dinon kay baad aap ki postings dekh rahi hoon. Aap apni koi ghazal
post karengay or else what is your homepage address.
Regards,
"U.V. Ravindra" wrote:
>
rajkp...@my-deja.com
In article <83lm89$4hp$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
tab...@my-deja.com wrote:
> Yeh to hua lafzi tarjuma, aage aap khud masha'allah aql-mand hain,
> warna
> hamaare guru ji to maujood hain hi :-)
maiN yeh to naheeN jaanta ke aap ki muraad kaun se "guru ji" se hai,
magar aap ki is baat par aek maze-daar anecdote yaad aaya hai.
Dilli ke aek mushaa'ire meiN, saame'een ki agli saf meiN do naamvar
tanqeed-nigaar baiThe the --- aek to 'maahir-e-Ghaalibiyaat' Janaab
Maalik Ram Sahib aur doosre Delhi University ke sho'ba-e-Urdu ke
sar-ba-raah Professor Khwaaja Ahmed Faarooqi (jo kayee tula'baa ko Mir
Taqi Mir ki shaa'iri par research karvaa kar Ph.D. ki degree dilaa
chuke the). maze ki baat yeh hai ke in dono as'haab ne khud kabhi
shaa'iri naheeN ki --- and this fact is very relevant to the anecdote.
dauraan-e-mushaa'ira, mir-e-mehfil ko kya soojhi ke, az-rah-e-mazaaq,
Maalik Ram Sahib se kehne lage ke "huzoor, aap bhi stage par tashreef
laaiye aur apna taaza kalaam sunaaiye!" Maalik Ram Sahib ne, Faarooqi
Sahib ki taraf ishaara karte huye, farmaaya ke "Sahib, pehle in se
kahiye. agar yeh apna kalaam sunaane ki himmat kareN ge to, in ke ba'ad
maiN bhi apna kalaam sunaa dooN ga".
yeh sun kar, Faarooqi Sahib ne kahaa ke "huzoor, mera kya hai? maiN
agar khud naheeN sunaaooN ga to apne shaagirdoN se sunvaa dooN ga".
Then came the beautiful response from Maalik Ram Sahib; kehne lage ke
"mera bhi kya hai? agar aap apne shaagirdoN se sunvaa deN ge to maiN
apne ustaadoN se sunvaa dooN ga"! mehfil qahqahoN se gooNj uThi!!!
aur aaj, kayee barasoN ba'ad, kuchh aisi hi baat hamaari azeeza ne kahi
hai!!!!!
U.V. Ravindra
>
> > > ilam ke derya se niklay ghuta-zan gohar badast
> > > wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
>
> Ghauta( Ghain wow toain he - yaani Dive). Mere khyaal se yahan Allama
> Iqbaal ne Ghauta-Khor ki jagha Ghauta zan istemal kiya hai.
> Aur is shair ka lafzi tarjuma to yeh ho sakta hai keh log to ilm ke
> dariyaa mein doob kar moti nikal laaye aur meri badqismati hai keh
> main sahil per paththat hi chunta raha.
> warna hamaare guru ji to maujood hain hi :-)
sh'er ke alfaaz durust karne aur "lafzi" ma'ani (kya yeh ma'ani
sirf lafzi thE? :-)) ka bahut shukriya, Tabassum sahiba.
lijiye mulahizah farmaaiye Allama ka ek aur sh'er jis meiN
unhoN ne na sirf "Ghota_Khor" aur "gOhar" ki baat hai, par mujh
jaise "lafzi" daaoN pech meiN ulajh ne waaloN ko hidaayat di hai:
alfaaz ke pEchON meiN ulajhtA nahiN daanaa
Ghawwaas ko matlab hai sadaf se, keh guhar se?
(Ghawwaas - with S'oaad - Ghota_Khor).
yeh sh'er un ki nazm "falsafah" se hai. lihaazah, mujhe chaahiye
ke jo Khayaalaat mere zehn meiN lafz "Ghota_zan" ke ist'emaal par
aaye haiN, un kaa ALUP par izhaar na karooN :-)
faqat,
Ravindra.
U.V. Ravindra
>
> > > ilam ke derya se niklay ghuta-zan gohar badast
> > > wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
>
> Ghauta( Ghain wow toain he - yaani Dive). Mere khyaal se yahan Allama
> Iqbaal ne Ghauta-Khor ki jagha Ghauta zan istemal kiya hai.
> Aur is shair ka lafzi tarjuma to yeh ho sakta hai keh log to ilm ke
> dariyaa mein doob kar moti nikal laaye aur meri badqismati hai keh
> main sahil per paththat hi chunta raha.
> Yeh to hua lafzi tarjuma, aage aap khud mashallah aqalmand hain,
> warna hamaare guru ji to maujood hain hi :-)
sh'er ke alfaaz durust karne aur "lafzi" ma'ani (kya yeh ma'ani
sirf lafzi thE? :-)) ka bahut shukriya, Tabassum sahiba.
lijiye mulahizah farmaaiye Allama ka ek aur sh'er jis meiN
unhoN ne na sirf "GhOta_Khor" aur "gOhar" ki baat hai, balke
mujh jaise logoN ko, jo "lafzi" daaoN pech meiN uljhe rahte
haiN, yeh hidaayat bhi di hai:
faqat,
Ravindra.
Naheed Rana
| > wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
|
| yeh sh'er kuchh samajh nahiN aaya. pehle misr'e meiN
| lafz 'ghuta-zan' se maiN waaqif nahiN hooN. Maulvi sahib
| janaab Abd`ul Haq ki luGhat meiN bhi is lafz ka koi
| naqsh-o-nishaan na mila. :-( kya haiN is lafz ke ma'ani?
| doosre misr'e meiN jumla ghaaliban "Khazif_cheen-E-lab-E-saahil
| hooN maiN" hona chaahiye?
ghutazan ka matlab hai diver, aur dosra misra durust karnay ka shukria.
| > hai meri zaat hi kuch meri sharafat ki daleel
| > jis ki ghaflat ko malak rotay hain wo ghafil hon main
|
| meri raaye meiN 'zaat' aur 'hi' ko interchange karna chaahiye:
| hai merI hI zaat kuchh mErI sharAfat kI daleel
| jis ki Ghaflat kO malak rOtE haiN woh Ghaafil hooN maiN
| warna behr ga.D-ba.D ho rahi hai.
I'm sorry dosra sher bhi ham nay kuch ghalat kar diya. pehlay misray main
lafz "zaat" nahi, bilke "zillat" hai, baqi misra theek hai, ham nay check
kya hai "baang-e-dara" se. agarche is sher main koi mushkil lafaz nahi hai,
phir bhi mujhay is ki koi khas samajh nahi aai.
rajkp...@my-deja.com
In article <O_U74.18262$TT4.6...@news1.rdc2.on.home.com>,
"Naheed Rana" <nahe...@uoguelph.ca> wrote:
> | > ilam ke derya se niklay ghuta-zan gohar badast
> | > wa'ay mehromi! khzaf chain-e-lab-e-saahil hon main
> |
> | yeh sh'er kuchh samajh nahiN aaya. pehle misr'e meiN
> | lafz 'ghuta-zan' se maiN waaqif nahiN hooN. Maulvi sahib
> | janaab Abd`ul Haq ki luGhat meiN bhi is lafz ka koi
> | naqsh-o-nishaan na mila. :-( kya haiN is lafz ke ma'ani?
> | doosre misr'e meiN jumla ghaaliban "Khazif_cheen-E-lab-E-saahil
> | hooN maiN" hona chaahiye?
>
> ghutazan ka matlab hai diver, aur dosra misra durust karnay ka
shukria.
------------
Naheed Sahiba:
Ravindra Sahib ne apni pichhli post meiN "guzaarish" ki thi ke maiN
apni "aarifaana qandeel" --- ya'ani-ke, "j'naan-jyoti" --- se aap ke
bheje huye ash'aar par bhi kuchh "raushni" DaalooN. us ke ba'ad khud
aap ne bhi kahaa hai ke aap ko apne bheje huye doosre she'r ka matlab
kuchh saaf samajh meiN naheeN aaya. is liye, maiN ne socha ke chalo,
lage haathoN, in do ash'aar par bhi "do-aek baateN" keh hi dooN.
she'r # 1.
aap ne note kiyaa hi hoga ke aap ke lafz "ghuta-zan" ne Ravindra Sahib
ko kitna kashT pahuNchaaya hai aur unheN is silsile meiN kitni lughaat
meiN "ghota-zani" karna paRi hai; voh to bhalaa ho Tabassum Sahiba ke
keh jinhoN ne vaqt par unheN bachaa liya varna, na jaane, un ka kya
haal hota! mu'aaf keejiye, agar aap ne "ghuta" ki bajaaye "ghota"
likhkha hota to yeh naubat hargiz na aati!!!
[magar kya kareN? yeh aaj kal ke laRke-laRkiyaaN kisi ki
suneN to na!] :-))
Now, this incident spurs me to go back to my F.T.P. role and point out
a few things for the benefit of whosoever cares:
ilam reflects a pronounciation that is patently wrong; the correct word
is ilm. This is similar to pronouncing film as filam, aql as aqal, qabr
as qabar, ---.
gohar should be gauhar. This is how one would distinguish between the
Hindi word bol, as in bol-chaal, and the Arabic word baul, as in
baul-o-baraaz.
mehromi should be mehroomi --- for obvious reasons.
'khzaf chain' should be 'khazaf-cheen'....seepiyaaN (ya'ani, broken
shells) chun'ne vaala.
hon should be hooN. Please note that hoN would refer to the third
person(s) voh, while here we have hooN, referring to the first person
maiN.
It is also helpful to distinguish between n and N --- that is, between
noon and noon-ghunna.
I think I'll discuss the meanings of these ash'aar in a subsequent
post; today, let me confine my remarks to transliteration alone. I know
Abida Saahiba is enjoying this lesson, but I wonder if Naheed Saahiba
is still with us! :-))
Her 'adabi zauq' is such that I'll curse myself for ever if any of my
writings would turn her off ALUP. :-(
> | > hai meri zaat hi kuch meri sharafat ki daleel
> | > jis ki ghaflat ko malak rotay hain wo ghafil hon main
> |
> I'm sorry dosra sher bhi ham nay kuch ghalat kar diya. pehlay misray
main
> lafz "zaat" nahi, bilke "zillat" hai, baqi misra theek hai, ham nay
check
> kya hai "baang-e-dara" se. agarche is sher main koi mushkil lafaz
nahi hai,
> phir bhi mujhay is ki koi khas samajh nahi aai.
chaliye, lafz zaat ki bajaaye zillat hone se is she'r ka bachaao ho
gayaa. is tabdeeli se, pehle misre ka vazn bhi Theek ho gayaa aur misra
ba-ma'ani bhi ho gayaa. At the same time,
kuch should be kuchh. This is how we would distinguish between chori
and chhori! And I would prefer to write sharaafat and ghaafil,
using 'aa' --- signifying a long vowel.
Again, 'hon main' should be 'hooN maiN'.
----------
A word of explanation: Ordinarily, I wouldn't go to such lengths on
transliteration unless asked to. I decided to go all the way here
because of the obvious confusion witnessed by us all. I earnestly hope
that Naheed Sahiba does not take my lesson too badly! Perhaps, a word
of re-assurance from her would help!!! :-))
In any case, I'll discuss the meanings of these two she'rs in a day or
so.
khair-andesh, Raj Kumar
Naheed Rana
news:842un7$339$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
oh!! aaj to aap ke sabr ka paimana labraiz ho gaya :-)) aap theek kehtay
haiN in laRke-laRkiyooN ko kuchh sunayee nahiN daita, jab tak inko khari
khari na sunayee jaaeiN :-))
aap logooN ko jo zehni koft hoyee meri posts paRh kar, to meiN bohat
ma'azrat khwah hooN aap sab khwateen-o-hazrat se. khas taur par Ravindra
Sahib se. I'm really sorry. waise, meiN sanjeedagi se koshish karooN gi
improve karne ki(even though, I hate this shift key :-))
|
| Now, this incident spurs me to go back to my F.T.P. role and point out
| a few things for the benefit of whosoever cares:
|
| ilam reflects a pronounciation that is patently wrong; the correct word
| is ilm. This is similar to pronouncing film as filam, aql as aqal, qabr
| as qabar, ---.
|
| gohar should be gauhar. This is how one would distinguish between the
| Hindi word bol, as in bol-chaal, and the Arabic word baul, as in
| baul-o-baraaz.
|
| mehromi should be mehroomi --- for obvious reasons.
|
| 'khzaf chain' should be 'khazaf-cheen'....seepiyaaN (ya'ani, broken
| shells) chun'ne vaala.
|
| hon should be hooN. Please note that hoN would refer to the third
| person(s) voh, while here we have hooN, referring to the first person
| maiN.
|
| It is also helpful to distinguish between n and N --- that is, between
| noon and noon-ghunna.
|
| I think I'll discuss the meanings of these ash'aar in a subsequent
| post; today, let me confine my remarks to transliteration alone. I know
| Abida Saahiba is enjoying this lesson, but I wonder if Naheed Saahiba
| is still with us! :-))
| Her 'adabi zauq' is such that I'll curse myself for ever if any of my
| writings would turn her off ALUP. :-(
Raj Kumar Sahib, fikr nahiN karaiN aap, ham ALUP ko ITNA acha adabi zauq
rakhne wali hasti (jo ke ulte seedhe sher quote karne meiN maahir hai) se
mehroom nahiN karaiN ge :-)) aur waise bhi meiN ziyaada zood-ranj nahiN
hooN.
|
| > | > hai meri zaat hi kuch meri sharafat ki daleel
| > | > jis ki ghaflat ko malak rotay hain wo ghafil hon main
| > |
|
| > I'm sorry dosra sher bhi ham nay kuch ghalat kar diya. pehlay misray
| main
| > lafz "zaat" nahi, bilke "zillat" hai, baqi misra theek hai, ham nay
| check
| > kya hai "baang-e-dara" se. agarche is sher main koi mushkil lafaz
| nahi hai,
| > phir bhi mujhay is ki koi khas samajh nahi aai.
|
| chaliye, lafz zaat ki bajaaye zillat hone se is she'r ka bachaao ho
| gayaa. is tabdeeli se, pehle misre ka vazn bhi Theek ho gayaa aur misra
| ba-ma'ani bhi ho gayaa. At the same time,
|
| kuch should be kuchh. This is how we would distinguish between chori
| and chhori! And I would prefer to write sharaafat and ghaafil,
| using 'aa' --- signifying a long vowel.
|
| Again, 'hon main' should be 'hooN maiN'.
|
| ----------
|
| A word of explanation: Ordinarily, I wouldn't go to such lengths on
| transliteration unless asked to. I decided to go all the way here
| because of the obvious confusion witnessed by us all. I earnestly hope
| that Naheed Sahiba does not take my lesson too badly! Perhaps, a word
| of re-assurance from her would help!!! :-))
aakhir meiN aapka shukria for taking the time to explain things in such a
detail.
Later,
Naheed
rajkp...@my-deja.com
rajkp...@my-deja.com wrote:
>
>
> In article <O_U74.18262$TT4.6...@news1.rdc2.on.home.com>,
> "Naheed Rana" <nahe...@uoguelph.ca> wrote:
aaj maiN, Naheed Sahiba ke bheje huye, Iqbal ke do ash'aar par apne
comments pesh karooN ga.
1. ilm ke dar'yaa se nikle ghota-zan gauhar-ba-dast
vaa'e mehroomi! khazaf-cheen-e-lab-e-saahil hooN maiN
ghota-zan = diver(s);
gauhar-ba-dast = with pearls in hand;
mehroomi = khaali-pan;
khazaf-cheen = seepiyaaN chun'ne vaala;
lab-e-saahil = saahil ke kinaare.
she'r ka lafzi matlab to bilkul saaf hai --- yahaaN Iqbal apni mehroomi
par kaf-e-afsos mal rahe haiN aur keh rahe haiN ke "aek to voh log the
jinhoN ne ghota-zani kar ke samundar ki taih meiN se moti DhooND
nikaale aur aek maiN hooN ke saahil ke kinaare baiTha seepiyaaN chun
rahaa hooN".
ma'navi lihaaz se, yooN lagta hai jaise Iqbal, is she'r meiN, apni
qismat ko kos rahe haiN (jis ne unheN mehroomi ke sivaa aur kuchh
naheeN bakhsha). magar, mere khayaal meiN, yahaaN rona qismat ka naheeN
balke apni kam-himmati ka hai! Iqbal kaf-e-afsos mal rahe haiN to is
baat par ke un meiN voh 'courage' aur voh 'spirit of adventure' naheeN
thi jo kuchh aur logoN meiN thi. nateeja us ka yeh hua ke voh log to
gaihre paani meiN jaa koode aur kaamyaab lauTe, jab ke "mujhe meri kam-
himmati ne saahil par hi roke rakhkha aur meri taufeeq seepiyaaN
chun'ne se aage na baRhi".
yeh vuhi khayaal hai jis ke pesh-e-nazar kisi ne kahaa hai ke
"yaaraan-e-tez-gaam ne manzil ko jaa liya" --- aur ham sust-raftaar
jahaaN par the vaheeN ke vaheeN reh gaye!
2. hai miri zillat hi kuchh meri sharaafat ki daleel
jis ki ghaflat par malak rote haiN voh ghaafil hooN maiN
zillat = rusvaai;
sharaafat ki daleel = an argument for (or a proof of)
civility, gentility and dignity.
malak = angel(s).
she'r zaraa TeRhaa hai kiyooN-ke, at first sight, sharaafat aur zillat
meiN koi khaas ta'alluq nazar naheeN aata. aur phir ghaflat ki baat
kahaaN se aa gayee? aur agar aayee bhi to bhalaa farishtoN ko hamaari
ghaflat pe rona kiyooN aane lagaa?
in tamaam baatoN ka hal yeh hai ke Iqbal, is she'r meiN,
lafz "sharaafat" ko conventional ma'anoN meiN naheeN barat rahe, balke
is ki aek khaas implication ka iste'maal kar rahe haiN. aap ne aksar
sunaa hoga kisi ko yeh kehte ke "saahib, ham to sharaafat meiN maare
gaye"! Here, sharaafat implies hesitation, reluctance, inaction , ---
arising out of the fear that a particular step taken in a given
situation may not seem uncivil to others, or may not undermine our
gentility, or may not ruffle our dignity, -----. At the same time,
others might go ahead and achieve a lot, while the "shareef" guy is
simply left behind, And being left behind is often a cause
for "rusvaai". doosre misre meiN, Iqbal ne isi tarah ki "sharaafat" ko
apni "ghaflat" qaraar diya hai.
is she'r meiN, ishaara poori qaum ya millat ki taraf hai, haalaaN-ke
baat saari apne sar le li hai. apni sharaafat, ya'ani-ke apne inaction,
ko apni zillat ka sabab Thaihraaya hai --- magar, shaa'iraana andaaz
meiN, baat ulaT kar, khud apni zillat ko apni sharaafat ka suboot
qaraar diya hai! Pretty nifty!
doosre misre meiN, farishtoN ko insaan ka "gham-gusaar" samjha hai aur
unheN insaani ghaflat par aaNsoo bahaate dikhaaya hai! This gives the
believers satisfaction of some sort of a "divine support".
Well, this is how I see these she'rs; others may have different ideas.
A Cassam
I know Abida Saahiba is enjoying this lesson,
Raj Kumar Ji,
I sure am :-)
Thanks to you and ALUP I am much ahead of Iqbal's 'parinde ki faryaad',
'pahaar aur gulehri', 'eik gai aur bakri', 'maa ka kwaab ' etc. etc :-))
Cheers!!
Abida Sultana
U.V. Ravindra
>
> <rajkp...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
>
> | [magar kya kareN? yeh aaj kal ke laRke-laRkiyaaN kisi ki
> | suneN to na!] :-))
>
> oh!! aaj to aap ke sabr ka paimana labraiz ho gaya :-)) aap theek
> kehtay haiN in laRke-laRkiyooN ko kuchh sunayee nahiN daita, jab tak
> inko khari khari na sunayee jaaeiN :-))
>
> aap logooN ko jo zehni koft hoyee meri posts paRh kar, to meiN bohat
> ma'azrat khwah hooN aap sab khwateen-o-hazrat se. khas taur par
> Ravindra Sahib se. I'm really sorry. waise, meiN sanjeedagi se
> koshish karooN gi improve karne ki(even though, I hate this shift key
> :-))
aur mujhe Baba-e-Urdu Maulana Abd`ul Haq ki luGhat meiN Ghota-zani
karne ka ek aur bahaana dene ka, Naheed Sahiba, aap ka bahut bahut
shukriya! :-) waise aap sab ki ittelaa ke liye bataa denaa chaahtaa
hooN keh luGhat sirf lafz "Ghota_Khor" hii milaa, Ghota_zan nahiN :-)
-Ravindra.