QadmoN ke nishaaN, naqs e qadam ....

[Anil Kala]

kucH tez hawaaoN ne bhi dushwaar kiya hai
qadmoN ke nishaanaat se sahraa ko samajhnaa

Ajmal Siraj

This expression so graphic and emotional that it is much used in Urdu poetry as a strong metaphor, on the other hand there is a word in Hindi pad-chinNh which is kind of bland so even in Hindi for impact 'qadmoN ke nishaaN' or 'naqs e qadam' is used. May be our part of the world is green so doesn't leave too many footprints whereas Arabic land is arid and dusty therefore ubiquitous. Words or expression acquire aura from usage and Urdu poetry has given it that extra dimension and appeal. I often trek all by myself in the wilderness around my village but dried leaves and grass doesn't leave qadmoN ke nishaaN and that is the way I like it, to eventually disappear in oblivion.

[Raj Kumar]

----------

she'r mulaaHiza ho:

ko'ii bastii ho k jaNgal ho k veerana ho
har jagah apne hi qadmoN ke nishaaN milte haiN
[Qais]

R.K.

[Anil Kala]

There is a kind of romance in wistful, purposeless walk, even though meaningless and yet leaving behind a trail. The point is not that nothing came out of that walk but the point is an effort was made in that lonely drift... I am trying to find something of that kind in poetry but ....

dil meN kucH soz e tamannaa ke nishaaN milte haiN
is aNdhere meN ujaale ke samaaN milte haiN

aaj bhi raNg e bayaabaaN ke tapish-zaaroN meN
laRkhaRaate hue qadmoN ke nishaaN milte haiN

Moin Ahsan Jazbi

[Raj Kumar]

-----------

How about this one?

Thukraaye huye dair-o-Haram chhoR chalaa huuN
dunyaa ke liye naqsh-e-qadam chhoR chalaa huuN
[Hayaat Lakhnavi]

R.K.

[Raj Kumar]

On Wednesday, February 6, 2019 at 7:27:37 PM UTC-8, Anil Kala wrote:

ko'ii bastii ho k jaNgal ho k veerana ho

har jagah apne hi qadmoN ke nishaaN milte haiN
[Qais]
---------

>There is a kind of romance in wistful, purposeless walk, even though meaningless and yet leaving behind >a trail. The point is not that nothing came out of that walk but the point is an effort was made in that >lonely drift... I am trying to find something of that kind in poetry but ....

***Anil sahib: The point here is much more than what you have penned down, and that lies in the words “apne hi”. kahne ka matlab yeh k ham apni just-juu meN jahaaN jahaaN bhi gaye haiN, vahaaN sirf apne hi qadmoN ke nishaan nazar aaye haiN. goyaa, ko’ii aur shaKhs apni just-juu meN abhi tak un maqaamaat tak naheeN pahuNchaa jin tak ham kabhi ke pahuNch chuke haiN, etc.

duusri baat yeh k Urdu shaa’iri meN “qadmoN ke nishaanaat” yaa “naqsh-e-qadam” yaa “naqsh-e-paa” jaisi dil-chasp taraakeeb bahut muKhtalif mazaameen meN baaNdhi gayee haiN. maiN nahiiN jaanta k kaun sa mazmuun aap ko azeez hai, albatta in mazaameen ki ‘variety’ qaabil-e-ta’areef hai.

aap ne Hayaat Lakhnavi ka voh she’r to paRha hi hoga jo maiN ne kal chaspaaN kiyaa tha. us she’r ka mazmuun tha --- “naqsh-e-qadam baraaye taqleed”, i.e., footprints (for others) to follow.

albatta, agar aap ‘romantic mood’ meN haiN to aap yeh she’r dekhiye:

abhii is raah se ko’ii gayaa hai
kahe detii hai shoKhii naqsh-e-paa kii
[?]

aur agar aap ‘philosophical mood’ meN haiN to aap Ghaalib ka yeh she’r dekhiye (jo un ke beshtar deevanoN meN nahiiN milta):

hai kahaaN tamannaa kaa duusraa qadam, yaa rabb?
ham ne dasht-e-imkaaN ko aek naqsh-e-paa paayaa!

du’aa-go, Raj Kumar***

[Anil Kala]

>
> abhii is raah se ko’ii gayaa hai
> kahe detii hai shoKhii naqsh-e-paa kii
> [?]
>

Kyaa baat hai

> aur agar aap ‘philosophical mood’ meN haiN to aap Ghaalib ka yeh she’r dekhiye (jo un ke beshtar deevanoN meN nahiiN milta):
>
> hai kahaaN tamannaa kaa duusraa qadam, yaa rabb?
> ham ne dasht-e-imkaaN ko aek naqsh-e-paa paayaa!
>
> du’aa-go, Raj Kumar***

Jii haaN Raj Sahib aap ne sahii farmayaa is expression ke muqtalif dimensions haiN, maiN sirf ek hi simt chalaa jaa rahaa tha.. dono hi she'r laa-jawaab haiN. bahut shukriya

aadaab arz hai

Anil

[Raj Kumar]

janaab Anil sahib:

maiN ne apni pichhli ‘post’ meN jo she’r Ghaalib ka ‘quote’ kiyaa tha, us ka tafakkur bahut gahraa hai aur use samajhnaa itna aasaan nahiiN hai. albatta, kam-o-besh usi mazmuun ko Iqbaal ne apne aek she’r meN bayaan kiyaa hai, jis ka samajhnaa muqaabiltan aasaan hai. maiN voh she’r aap ke saath ‘share’ karnaa chaahata huuN.

But first a little glossary (not for you --- but for those who may need it).

“hast-o-buud” literally means “hai aur tha”, thus conveying our experiences of “past and present”.
mehr-o-mah-o-nujuum = suuraj, chaaNd aur sitaaray.

Now the she’r:

manzil-e-hast-o-buud se teraa maqaam hai paray
mehr-o-mah-o-nujuum ko apne nishaan-e-paa samajh!

I hope you like this remarkable use of the term nishaan-e-paa.

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar

[Irfan Abid]

muhtaram RK aur Anil saahibaan, aadaab arz hai!

naqsh-e-paa par Iqbal kaa ek sher aur mulaahiza farmaaiye.

kiyaa rif'at kii lazzat se na dil ko aashnaa tuu ne
guzaarii umr pastii meN misaal-e-naqsh-e-paa tuu ne (Iqbal)

RK sb Ghalib kaa ek sher inaayat kar chuke haiN. leejiye ek aur suniye aur sar dhuniye.

kab mujhe kuu-e-yaar meN rahne kii vaz'a yaad thii
aa'ina-daar ban gayii hairat-e-naqsh-e-paa ki yuuN (Ghalib)

aur mazmuun koii bhii ho, Mir sb us meiN tab'a-aazmaaii na kareN, ye kaise mumkin hai. to leejiye pesh hai Mir kaa ye sher.

rakhiyo qadam sambhal ke ki tuu jaantaa nahiiN
maanind-e-naqsh-e-paa ye sar-e-raah kaun hai (Mir)

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[B.G. M.]

Bahot Khuub discussion ho rahaa hai, Waa...h!

-naqsh-e-paa par kal raat ik aur she’r sunaa to sochaa yahaaN Haazir kar duuN
Link bhi bhejtaa huuN agar ko’ii is Khuub “classic shaa’iraa ko sun_naa chaahe.

“mitT nah jaaye kahiiN yaar ke naqsh-e-paa
in se haT kar hi peshaani Kham keejiye”
~Shyama Singh “Saba”

(https://youtu.be/ajMmPVeHQso

Listen at 12:25)
============================.

[Anil Kala]

janab e Irfan Sahib aur Raj sahib

aadaab arz hai

aap logoN ne jo jaanii maanii hastiyoN ke asha'ar faraaham kiye haiN unko lekar mujhe sirf yahi kahnaa hai ke meri Urdu meN daKhal na ke baraabar hai aur shayari kaa qaaida-qanuuN samjhne ki meri koshish baar baar naakaamyaab rahi hai lihaaza maiN Urdu shayari ko 'intuitive' andaaz se parakh ne ki koshish kartaa huN.

jo Mirza Ghalib ka she'r Raj Sahib ne quote kiya tha us meN zabaan ki koi Khaas pechiidgii nahiiN thii is liye maine use apne hi andaaz se is tarah interpret kiya tha

tamanna ka doosra qadam ya'ani first being wordly desires, second obviously spiritual yarnings, I found its markers in off the mundane world.

manzil-e-hast-o-buud se teraa maqaam hai *paray*

mehr-o-mah-o-nujuum ko apne nishaan-e-paa samajh!

Iqbal ke ke she'r meN lafz 'paray' (pare - as used in Hindi) par kuch confusion sa ho rahaa hai, agarche is kaa maane 'beyond' jaise 'merii samajh se pare hai' to phir koi masala nahiiN hai

Mirza Ghalib ka jo she'r Irfan Sahib ne post kiya hai wo meri samajh meN nahiiN aayaa

Miir ka she'r is the most facile in sheer flow of language but this too is cryptic in menaing.. I am guessing, Miir is warning about the direction you take merely because someone has taken that road.

Now is there a Daagh Dehalvi she'r too on this topic? Daagh is usually less cryptic more an embelisher, for that reason alone Daagh Dehalvi is one of my favorite.


bohat shukriya aap logon kaa


Anil

[Naseer]

dostaan-i-giraamii aadaab-o-tasliimaat.

yih liijiye ek shi3r...

itne diivaane kahaaN se mire ghar meN aa'e
jagmagate the jahaaN Raam ke qadmoN ke nishaaN

Kaifi Azami (duusraa ban-baas)

aur agar Kala SaaHib vaaqi3ii ruumaanii muuD meN haiN, to film "ustaadoN ke ustaad" se Asad Bhopali ke chand ash3aar.


sau baar janam leN ge, so baar fanaa hoN ge
ai jaan-i-vafaa phir bhii ham tum nah judaa hoN ge

qismat hameN milne se roke gii bhalaa kab tak
in pyaar kii raahoN meN bhaTke gii vafaa kab tak
qadmoN ke nishaaN xud hii manzil kaa pataa hoN ge

..............................

Naseer

[Naseer]

On Tuesday, 12 February 2019 08:13:56 UTC, Anil Kala wrote:
>
> Now is there a Daagh Dehalvi she'r too on this topic? Daagh is usually less cryptic more an embelisher, for that reason alone Daagh Dehalvi is one of my favorite.
>
>

dekheN to pahle kaun miTe is kii raah meN
baiThe haiN shart baaNdh ke har naqsh-i-paa se ham

۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

xaak par kyoN ho naqsh-i-paa teraa
ham bichchaa'eN zamiin par aaNkheN

daagh dihlavii

[Anil Kala]

>
>
> sau baar janam leN ge, so baar fanaa hoN ge
> ai jaan-i-vafaa phir bhii ham tum nah judaa hoN ge
>
> qismat hameN milne se roke gii bhalaa kab tak
> in pyaar kii raahoN meN bhaTke gii vafaa kab tak
> qadmoN ke nishaaN xud hii manzil kaa pataa hoN ge
>
> ..............................
>
> Naseer

Naseer Sahib aadaab

Rafi sahib ka ye naghamaa meraa pasaNdiida gaanaa hai aur doosra "maiN akele hi maze meN tha, mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye .." ( Akashdeep)
aNtara Khaas pasaNd hai : "yuN hi apne apne safar meN ham , kahiiN duur tum kahiiN dur ham ;
chale jaa rahe the judaa judaa mujhe aap kis liye mil gaye .."

[bekas Murray]

On Wednesday, February 6, 2019 at 6:50:07 AM UTC-8, Anil Kala wrote:

ارادہ ٹھیک تھا کچھ نقص پا تھا
غلط پکڑی جو پکڑی راہ ہم نٰے

بےکس مرے

[Anil Kala]

Bekas Sahib 'kuch' naqs e paa *tha* kuch ke saath 'tha' hoga ke 'the'? doosra misraa khuub hai , mubaarakbaad!

[Raj Kumar]

***Anil sahib, please note that Bekas sahib is saying “kuchh naqs-e-paa”, not “kuchh naqsh-e-paa” --- in which case the verb “tha” is OK.

R.K.***

[Vijay Kumar]

Anil sahib, is laRi ka unwaan likhte waqt aap se aik Galti sarzad ho gaii thii, vo yih ki aap likhna naqsh-e-qadam (ba-ma'ani qadmoN ke nishaaN) chaahte the, aur likh gae naqs-e-qadam (yaani, qadam uThaane ya rakhne kii Galti). ab Bekas sahib ne apne Khasuusi aNdaaz meN is Galti ko na sirf 'legitimise' kar diya hai balki ise aik Khuubsuurat aur ma'aniKhez she'r meN bhii Dhaal diya hai. mujhe yeh misra, jo shayad miir ka hai, yakdam yaad aa gaya:

(kam hoNge is bisaat pe ham jaise bad-kimaar)
'jo chaal ham chale so nihaayat burii chale'

aur jaisa Raj sahib ne kaha hai, naqs-e-paa ke saath 'thaa' ka istemaal bilkul sahih hai.

Best regards,

Vijay

[Naseer]

On Thursday, 14 February 2019 08:10:32 UTC, Vijay Kumar wrote:
>
> Anil sahib, is laRi ka unwaan likhte waqt aap se aik Galti sarzad ho gaii thii, vo yih ki aap likhna naqsh-e-qadam (ba-ma'ani qadmoN ke nishaaN) chaahte the, aur likh gae naqs-e-qadam (yaani, qadam uThaane ya rakhne kii Galti). ab Bekas sahib ne apne Khasuusi aNdaaz meN is Galti ko na sirf 'legitimise' kar diya hai balki ise aik Khuubsuurat aur ma'aniKhez she'r meN bhii Dhaal diya hai. mujhe yeh misra, jo shayad miir ka hai, yakdam yaad aa gaya:
>
> (kam hoNge is bisaat pe ham jaise bad-kimaar)
> 'jo chaal ham chale so nihaayat burii chale'
>
> aur jaisa Raj sahib ne kaha hai, naqs-e-paa ke saath 'thaa' ka istemaal bilkul sahih hai.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Vijay

Vijay Sahib, yih misra3 Zauq ka hai.


ہم سے بھی اس بساط پہ کم ہوں گے بد قمار

جو چال ہم چلے سو نہایت بری چلے

ham se bhii is bisaat pih kam hoN ge bad-qimaar

jo chaal ham chale so nihaayat burii chale

As far as Anil SaaHib's "Galti" is concerned, perhaps it was a "slip" and not a "mistake". If you don't follow this, perhaps Raj Kumar SaaHib would be kind enough to elaborate! :-)

Naseer

[Anil Kala]

> > > > This expression so graphic and emotional that it is much used in Urdu poetry as a strong metaphor, on the other hand there is a word in Hindi pad-chinNh which is kind of bland so even in Hindi for impact 'qadmoN ke nishaaN' or 'naqs e qadam' is used. May be our part of the world is green so doesn't leave too many footprints whereas Arabic land is arid and dusty therefore ubiquitous. Words or expression acquire aura from usage and Urdu poetry has given it that extra dimension and appeal. I often trek all by myself in the wilderness around my village but dried leaves and grass doesn't leave qadmoN ke nishaaN and that is the way I like it, to eventually disappear in oblivion.
> > >
> > > ارادہ ٹھیک تھا کچھ نقص پا تھا
> > > غلط پکڑی جو پکڑی راہ ہم نٰے
> > >
> > > بےکس مرے
> >
> > Bekas Sahib 'kuch' naqs e paa *tha* kuch ke saath 'tha' hoga ke 'the'? doosra misraa khuub hai , mubaarakbaad!
>
> Anil sahib, is laRi ka unwaan likhte waqt aap se aik Galti sarzad ho gaii thii, vo yih ki aap likhna naqsh-e-qadam (ba-ma'ani qadmoN ke nishaaN) chaahte the, aur likh gae naqs-e-qadam (yaani, qadam uThaane ya rakhne kii Galti). ab Bekas sahib ne apne Khasuusi aNdaaz meN is Galti ko na sirf 'legitimise' kar diya hai balki ise aik Khuubsuurat aur ma'aniKhez she'r meN bhii Dhaal diya hai. mujhe yeh misra, jo shayad miir ka hai, yakdam yaad aa gaya:
>
> (kam hoNge is bisaat pe ham jaise bad-kimaar)
> 'jo chaal ham chale so nihaayat burii chale'
>
> aur jaisa Raj sahib ne kaha hai, naqs-e-paa ke saath 'thaa' ka istemaal bilkul sahih hai.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Vijay

Thanks Raj, Vijay Sahib,

But this is sheer genius. Here is a fellow unwilling to correct himself despite repeated pointers then comes along Bekas Sahib and points it out in such a way that error manifests with such finesse.

Thanks to Bekas Sahib; just a query though.. 'nags' appears the correct pronunciation whereas all along I have heard it 'nuqs nikaalnaa' now it will be odd for me to point out 'naqs'

Thanks again

Anil

[Naseer]

On Thursday, 14 February 2019 10:53:26 UTC, Anil Kala wrote:
>
>
> Thanks to Bekas Sahib; just a query though.. 'nags' appears the correct pronunciation whereas all along I have heard it 'nuqs nikaalnaa' now it will be odd for me to point out 'naqs'
>
> Thanks again
>
> Anil

Anil SaaHib, "nuqs" is the common pronunciation but the correct nouns are "naqs" and "nuqsaan".

Naseer

[Anil Kala]

> > Anil
> Anil SaaHib, "nuqs" is the common pronunciation but the correct nouns are "naqs" and "nuqsaan".
>
> Naseer

Thanks Naseer Saahib.

[vk72...@gmail.com]

On Friday, February 8, 2019 at 7:01:38 PM UTC+13, Raj Kumar wrote:
> On Wednesday, February 6, 2019 at 7:27:37 PM UTC-8, Anil Kala wrote:
>
> ko'ii bastii ho k jaNgal ho k veerana ho
> har jagah apne hi qadmoN ke nishaaN milte haiN
> [Qais]
> ---------
>
> >There is a kind of romance in wistful, purposeless walk, even though meaningless and yet leaving behind >a trail. The point is not that nothing came out of that walk but the point is an effort was made in that >lonely drift... I am trying to find something of that kind in poetry but ....
>
> ***Anil sahib: The point here is much more than what you have penned down, and that lies in the words “apne hi”. kahne ka matlab yeh k ham apni just-juu meN jahaaN jahaaN bhi gaye haiN, vahaaN sirf apne hi qadmoN ke nishaan nazar aaye haiN. goyaa, ko’ii aur shaKhs apni just-juu meN abhi tak un maqaamaat tak naheeN pahuNchaa jin tak ham kabhi ke pahuNch chuke haiN, etc.
>

Raj sahib,

maiN is she'r ke baare meN maziid kucch kahna chaah rah thaa kyuNki ye she'r mujhe bahut pasaNd hai. (Daarne kii koii baat nahiiN:-)) aap ne wazaahat kar hii dii hai. maiN bas ye izaafa karna chaah raha thaa ki aashiq na sirf apni justujuu meN aise aise maqaamaat tak pahuNch chuka hai jahaaN kisii aur kii rasaaii abhii tak nahiiN huii, balki vahaaN baar~ha ja chuka hai. kyuNki jab bhii vo vahaaN gaya hai, jaate hii dekhtaa hai ki uske qadmoN ki nishaaN vahaaN pahle hii se maujuud haiN. yaani voh apne junuun meN ye bhuul jaata hai ki kaun si jagaheN haiN jahaaN uskii justujuu pahle use le jaa chukii hai. (Much like one picking up an old book and finding out after about 50-60 pages, that one has already read it).

she'r ko is tarah dekhne se aashiq ke junuun, unmaad aur us kii BhaTkan ka darja aur baRh jaata hai.

aap ki tavaajo ka shukriya.

Best regards,

Vijay

[Afzal A. Khan]

On 2/12/2019 5:02 AM, Naseer wrote:


> dostaan-i-giraamii aadaab-o-tasliimaat.
>
> yih liijiye ek shi3r...
>
> itne diivaane kahaaN se mire ghar meN aa'e
> jagmagate the jahaaN Raam ke qadmoN ke nishaaN
>
> Kaifi Azami (duusraa ban-baas)

> Naseer



Naseer Saheb,



Kaifi Azami ki yeh nazm meri paRHi huwi hai.

If possible, can you please post the entire nazm in ALUP ?

It has important lessons for all of us.....

BTW, it was my privilege to have listened to Kaifi Saheb
in person and that too at very close quarters, maybe
5 yards... He had a very "stylized" persona. And I don't
mean it in any pejorative sense.


Afzal

[Afzal A. Khan]

On 2/12/2019 5:02 AM, Naseer wrote:


> dostaan-i-giraamii aadaab-o-tasliimaat.
>

>

> sau baar janam leN ge, so baar fanaa hoN ge
> ai jaan-i-vafaa phir bhii ham tum nah judaa hoN ge
>
> qismat hameN milne se roke gii bhalaa kab tak
> in pyaar kii raahoN meN bhaTke gii vafaa kab tak
> qadmoN ke nishaaN xud hii manzil kaa pataa hoN ge

> Naseer





Agar filmi naGHmoN ki hi baat hai, to ek
misaal meri jaanib se bhi .....


AasmaaN ke neeche, hum aaj apne peechhe
Pyaar ka jahaaN, basaa ke chale
Qadam ke nishaaN, banaa ke chale


Admittedly, it is simply 'qadam ke nishaaN', and not
"qadmoN ke nishaaN"........

These lines occur in a song from the film "Jewel Thief"
released around November 1967, starring Dev Anand and
Vyjayanthimala.




Afzal

[bekas Murray]

jahaaN taira naqsh e qadam daikhtay haiN
khayabaaN khayaabaN iram daikhtay haiN

ghalib
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVW2vuKZG4I

[bekas Murray]

"jahaaN taira naqshay qadam daikhtay haiN
kharaabaa kharaabaa udham daikhtay haiN"

wo mairay bayaaN par ye kehtay haiN " such hai
qayaamat ke fitnay ko hum daikhtay haiN"

"iraadaa(h) hai bas naist naabood kar daiN
tujhay is tamannaa se hum daikhtay haiN"

banaa kar faqiihoN ka hum bhais bekas
tamaashaa'e dair o Haram daikhtay haiN

[Raj Kumar]

***janaab Vijay sahib:

aap ne jis nig’h-e-KhurdbeeN se is she’r ko dekha hai, us se is she’r ka iHaata aur baRh gayaa hai. maiN chaahata to tha k aap ki is mufakkiraana dast-ras par jald-az-jald izhaar-e-tashakkur karuuN magar afsos k tabii’at ki naa-hamvaari ne dam nahiiN lene diyaa. aaj himmat kar ke gosha-e-Khalvat se baahar aayaa huuN aur aap ki is Haseen taHreer par kuchh kah paaya huuN --- varna suurat-e-Haal to kuchh aisi hai k

“yeh Qais-e-sheereeN-suKhan ab to aek muddat se
bahut udaas sa rahtaa hai, boltaa bhi nahiiN”!

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***

[Naseer]

muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib.

ham sab kii du3aa'eN aap ke saath haiN. Xudaa aap ko jald az jald siHat-yaabii baxshe.

ab koii naao Dagmagaatii hai
aas jab dil kiiTuut jaatii hai
saarii dunyaa nazar phiraatii hai
sirf ummiid kaam aatii hai
yih agar dil se kuuch kar jaae
aadamii tilmilaa ke mar jaae

subH, shaam awr raat-din maalii
baaGh kii kar rahaa hai rakhvaalii
phuul-pattoN se god hai KHaalii
aas ne dil meN jaan hai Daalii
garm jhoNke jo dil jalaate haiN
phuul ummiid ke lubhaate haiN

dhuup meN ek Gham-zadah mazduur
haath meN phaaoRaa, thakan se chuur
hai suhaanii umang se bhar-puur
ranj hai us ke dil se kosoN duur
muskuraataa hai baar-baar aise
lahlahaatii haiN khetiyaaN jaise

thak ke hotaa hai past jab naa-chaar
baiTh jaataa hai haaNp kar ik baar
aas kahtii hai yuuN nah himmat haar
phir kamar kas ke jald ho tayyaar
uTh kar vuh poNch kar pasiine ko
taan letaa hai apne siine ko

ek bevah Ghariib dukhiyaarii
jaatii hai apne laal par vaarii
chakkiyaaN piis kar ba-dushvaarii
paaltii hai use vuh be-chaarii
aas hai us kii nau-nihaal us kaa
motiyoN se sivaa hai laal us kaa

ek buuRhaa mariiz hai laa-chaar
phir bhii vuh jaan se nahiiN bezaar
aas himmat bandhaatii hai har baar
khol detaa hai aaNkh vuh biimaar
zindagii jab javaab detii hai
aas faur-an saNbhaal letii hai

jab kih aataa hai imtiHaaN sar par
awr kitaaboN ke dekh kar gaTThaR*
TuuT jaatii haiN himmateN aksar
dil se ummiid kahtii hai baRh kar
uTh sabaq yaad kar udaas nah ho
phir yih mumkin nahiiN kih paas nah ho

Gham kare kis liye udaas hameN
kaam-yaabii kii jab hai aas hameN
miHnatoN se nahiiN hiraas hameN
apnii ummiid kaa hai paas hameN
kitnii pyaarii hai kyaa suhaanii hai
dil kii malikah hai, man kii raanii hai

Naseem


KHair-KHvaah,
Naseer

[vijay...@gmail.com]

bahut Khushi huii Raj sahib, aap ko idhar dekh kar. ummiid hai ab aap ki tabiiat bahtar hogii aur rahegii aur aap se mulaaqaat idhar ALUP par hotii rahegii.

Best regards,

Vijay

[Raj Kumar]

On Friday, April 12, 2019 at 8:15:53 PM UTC-7, Naseer wrote:
> On Saturday, 13 April 2019 02:56:46 UTC+1, Raj Kumar wrote:

> > ***janaab Vijay sahib:
> >
> > aap ne jis nig’h-e-KhurdbeeN se is she’r ko dekha hai, us se is she’r ka iHaata aur baRh gayaa hai. maiN chaahata to tha k aap ki is mufakkiraana dast-ras par jald-az-jald izhaar-e-tashakkur karuuN magar afsos k tabii’at ki naa-hamvaari ne dam nahiiN lene diyaa. aaj himmat kar ke gosha-e-Khalvat se baahar aayaa huuN aur aap ki is Haseen taHreer par kuchh kah paaya huuN --- varna suurat-e-Haal to kuchh aisi hai k
> >
> > “yeh Qais-e-sheereeN-suKhan ab to aek muddat se
> > bahut udaas sa rahtaa hai, boltaa bhi nahiiN”!
> >
> > Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***
>
> muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib.
>
> ham sab kii du3aa'eN aap ke saath haiN. Xudaa aap ko jald az jald siHat-yaabii baxshe.

- show quoted text -

muHtaram Raj Kumar SaaHib.

ham sab kii du3aa'eN aap ke saath haiN. Xudaa aap ko jald az jald siHat-yaabii baxshe.

***bahut bahut shukriya, Naseer sahib, aek to aap ne Khaaksaar ke liye du’aaeN maaNgeeN [yaa kam-az-kam du’aaeN maaNgne ka va’ada kiyaa ☺],
duusre aap ne aek aisi nazm se navaaza jis ne “dunyaa bar ummeed qaa’im ast” kahiye yaa “hope is the last thing to be lost” kahiye --- ko aisi Khush-usluubi se bayaan kiyaa hai k ise paRhte paRhte mujhe yuuN maHsuus ho rahaa tha jaise aap mujhe ko’ii “dil-kushaa v ruuH-afzaa” sharbat pilaa rahe haiN!!!

aek ma’amuuli si baat --- lagta hai k nazm ke pahle lafz ko “jab” hona chaahiye tha, na k “ab”.

Khair, yeh to hu’ii ma’amuuli si baat, magar gambhiir baat to yeh hai k aap is nazm ke Khaaliq ka naam likhne meN bhi aek Ghalati kar gaye; goyaa, “Naseer” ko “Naseem” likh gaye! ☺

yeh to balaa ki sitam-zareefi hai, MiyaaN, k aap ne aek murass’a Ghazal ki taKhleeq ke saath saath aek murass’a nazm taKhleeq kii aur aan ki aan meN use kisi duusre ke naam kar diyaa! bhalaa aisa karne se paNDit Dayaa Shankar aap ko ko’i tamGha ataa kareN ge? ☺

dekha aap ne ---- go k Khaaksaar ke qavaa muzmahil se haiN, phir bhi is ke anaasir meN thoRa-bahut eitedaal to hai! ☺

Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar***

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