Poet: Sagar Nizami
kaafir gesuu vaalo.n kii raat basar yuu.N hotii hai
husn hifaazat karataa hai aur javaanii sotii hai
mujh me.n tujh me.n farq nahii.n mujh me.n farq hai ye
tuu duniyaa par ha.Nsataa hai duniyaa mujh par ha.Nsatii hai
sabr-o-sukuu.N do dariyaa hai.n bharate bharate bharate hai.n
taskiin dil kii baarish hai hote hote hotii hai
jiine me.n kyaa raahat thii marane me.n takliif hai kyaa
tab duniyaa kyo.n ha.Nsatii thii ab duniyaa kyo.n rotii hai
dil ko to tashKhiish hu_ii chaaraagaro.n se puuchhuu.Ngaa
dil jab dhak-dhak karataa hai vo haalat kyaa hotii hai
raat ke aa.Nsuu ai 'Sagar' phuulo.n se bhar jaate hai.n
subah-e-chaman is paanii se kaliyo.n kaa muu.Nh dhotii hai
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aap kii is Ghazal meiN mujh ko kuChh GhalatiyaaN nazar aayiiN. ek baar
phir dekh liijiye.
> Poet: Sagar Nizami (yeh SaaGhar Nizaamii to nahiiN?)
>
> kaafir gesuu vaalo.n kii raat basar yuu.N hotii hai
> husn hifaazat karataa hai aur javaanii sotii hai
>
> mujh me.n tujh me.n farq nahii.n mujh me.n farq hai ye
> tuu duniyaa par ha.Nsataa hai duniyaa mujh par ha.Nsatii hai
>
ooper kaa shair Ghalat hai. ek to qaafiya Ghalat hai, phir pehla misra
bhi saHiiH nahiiN hai. ise durust kar diijiye.
> sabr-o-sukuu.N do dariyaa hai.n bharate bharate bharate hai.n
> taskiin dil kii baarish hai hote hote hotii hai
>
> jiine me.n kyaa raahat thii marane me.n takliif hai kyaa
> tab duniyaa kyo.n ha.Nsatii thii ab duniyaa kyo.n rotii hai
>
> dil ko to tashKhiish hu_ii chaaraagaro.n se puuchhuu.Ngaa
> dil jab dhak-dhak karataa hai vo haalat kyaa hotii hai
pehle misre mein "tashKhiish" kii bajae "tashviish" to nahiiN hai?
zara dekh laiN. ho sakta hai ke poora misra hii kuChh aur ho.
> raat ke aa.Nsuu ai 'Sagar' phuulo.n se bhar jaate hai.n
> subah-e-chaman is paanii se kaliyo.n kaa muu.Nh dhotii hai
>
muKhlis
jugnoo
> Abida saaheba aadaab
>
> aap kii is Ghazal meiN mujh ko kuChh GhalatiyaaN nazar aayiiN. ek baar
> phir dekh liijiye.
jin GhalatiyoN par Jugnoo Saahib ne uNgali dhari hai, un ke ilaava
do-aek baateN aur bhi haiN jo, mujhe lagta hai, kehne ki haiN.
sab se pehle to yeh ke Sagar --> SaaGhar or SaaGar, and Nizami --->
Nizaami.
> > Poet: Sagar Nizami
> >
> > kaafir gesuu vaalo.n kii raat basar yuu.N hotii hai
> > husn hifaazat karataa hai aur javaanii sotii hai
> >
> > mujh me.n tujh me.n farq nahii.n mujh me.n farq hai ye
> > tuu duniyaa par ha.Nsataa hai duniyaa mujh par ha.Nsatii hai
> >
> ooper kaa shair Ghalat hai. ek to qaafiya Ghalat hai, phir pehla misra
> bhi saHiiH nahiiN hai. ise durust kar diijiye.
doosre misre meiN jo "haNstii" hai, use "rotii" hona chaahiye. aur
pehle misre ke baare meiN --- I can't say anything for sure, except
that it isn't right!!
> > sabr-o-sukuu.N do dariyaa hai.n bharate bharate bharate hai.n
> > taskiin dil kii baarish hai hote hote hotii hai
> >
> > jiine me.n kyaa raahat thii marane me.n takliif hai kyaa
> > tab duniyaa kyo.n ha.Nsatii thii ab duniyaa kyo.n rotii hai
> >
> > dil ko to tashKhiish hu_ii chaaraagaro.n se puuchhuu.N gaa
> > dil jab dhak-dhak karataa hai vo haalat kyaa hotii hai
>
> pehle misre mein "tashKhiish" kii bajae "tashviish" to nahiiN hai?
> zara dekh laiN. ho sakta hai ke poora misra hii kuChh aur ho.
mera Khayaal hai ke saheeh lafz 'tashKhees' (ba-ma'ani, diagnosis)
hai, 'tashveesh' naheeN...magar alfaaz kuchh yooN hoN ge:
dil ki kyaa tashKhees huii --------------- .
> > raat ke aa.Nsuu ai 'Sagar' phuulo.n se bhar jaate hai.n
> > subah-e-chaman is paanii se kaliyo.n kaa muu.Nh dhotii hai
I think that, in the first misra, 'se' ---> 'meiN'.
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
P.S. mujhe lagta hai ke is zameen meiN Hafeez JaalaNdhari ne bhi aek
Ghazal kahi hai. Can someone confirm that?
In any case, whose ash'aar are these?
dil ki aaNkheN khulti haiN, chashm-e-zaahir soti hai
be-hoshi ke parde meiN sair-e-aalam hoti hai
saavan ki barsaatoN meiN kaliyoN ke mukh khilte haiN
jin se dil khil jaate hoN voh barkhaa kab hoti hai?
R.K.
aadaab,
saaGhar nizaamii saahib kii 'vo' Ghazal kuchh is tarah hai:
(corrections in the previous post are listed in <>)
========================================================
kaafir gesuu vaalo.n kii raat basar yuuN hotii hai
husn hifaazat karataa hai aur javaanii sotii hai
mujh me.n tujh me.n farq nahii, mujh me.n <tuhj me.n> farq hai ye
tuu duniyaa par haNstaa hai, duniyaa mujh par <rotii> hai
is maamuur Khazaane se zabt zaraa shiaar rahe
dil kii har geharaa_ii me.n ek achhuutaa motii hai
sabr-o-sukuuN do dariyaa hai.n, bharate bharate bharate hai.n
taskii.n dil kii baarish hai, hote hote hotii hai
saavan aaye, phuul khile, ik afsurdaa bol uThaa
jis me.n dil khil jaate hai.n, vo barakhaa kab hotii hai
zarre aur taare mil kar jaaduu roz jagaate hai.n
fitrat kii bedaarii me.n saarii duniyaa sotii hai
raat ke aaNsuu, ae :saaGhar:, phuulo.n <me.n> bhar jaate hai.n
subah chaman us paanii se kaliyo.n kaa muNh dhotii hai
========================================================
shukriyaa,
niranjan