shaa'iro, 'awaami islaah se bacho!
Zafar
ne aik jag'h likhaa hai k shaa'ir ko she'r kehte huve zabaan o bayaan
ke saaree imkaanaat achhi tarah se khangaal lene chaahiyeN, varna ...
varna 'awaam us she'r ki islaah kar dete haiN!!!
vo Firaq ke is she'r par baat kar rahe the:
zaraa wisaal ke ba'ad aa'eena to dekh ai dost
tire jamaal ki dosheezagi nikhar aa'yi
ye she'r 'awaam un naas meN kuchh yooN mash'hoor hai:
*shab* e wisaal ke ba'ad aa'eena to dekh ai dost
tire *shabab* ki dosheezagi nikhar aa'yi
zaahir hai k "jamaal ki dosheezagi" ki jag'h "shabaab ki dosheezagi"
ziyaada munaasib hai, aur shab ke zikr se mazeed sensuality paidaa ho
gayi hai.
--
ab aisaa bhi naheeN k mu'aashire kaa ijtimaa'yi shu'oor dhokaa naheeN
khaa saktaa, taaham dekhne meN aayaa hai k basaa auqaat ash'aar ki
'awaami shakl behtar nikalti hai. isi "awaami islaah" ki chand aur
misaaleN dekhiye:
Qaaim kaa she'r yooN mash'hoor hai:
qismat ki Khoobi dekhiye TooTi kahaaN kamand
do chaar haath jab k lab e baam reh gayaa
lekin kulliyaat meN she'r yooN darj hai:
qismat to dekh, TooTi hai jaa kar kahaaN kamand
kuchh door apne haath se jab baam reh gayaa
"do chaar haath" meN jo sansani hai, vo "kuchh door" meN naheeN.
--
Mir Tahir:
maktab e ishq kaa dastoor niraalaa dekhaa
us ko chhuTTi na mile jis ko sabaq yaad rahe
'awaam:
us ko chhuTTi na mili jis ne sabaq yaad kiyaa!
zaahir hai k Tahir saahib ko radeef ki majboori rahi ho gi, lekin phir
bhi mujhe 'awaami she'r ziyaada pasand hai.
--
Momin:
shu'ala saa chamak jaa'ye hai aawaaz to dekho
awaam:
shu'ala saa *lapak* jaaye hai aawaaz to dekho
--
DaGh:
Khat un kaa bahut Khoob 'ibaarat bahut achhi
Allah kare husn e raqam aur ziyaada
100 meN se 99 log doosra misra' yooN paRhte haiN:
Allah kare *zor e qalam* aur ziyaada!
--
isi tarah Ustad Zauq kaa she'r hai:
khil ke gul kuchh to bahaar apni sabaa dikhlaa gaye
hasrat un GhunchoN pe hai jo bin khile murjhaa gaye
aap samajh gaye hoN ge k jo she'r zabaan zad e 'aam o Khaas hai vo
kuchh yooN hai:
phool to do din bahaar e jaaN-fizaa dikhlaa gaye
aap ne dekhaa k Ustad ke misre meN "gul [...] apni sabaa dikhlaa gaye"
kuchh ajeeb saa lag rahaa thaa.
--
Mustafa Zaidi kaa mash'hoor she'r hai:
inhi patthroN pe chal ke agar aa sako to aa'o
mere ghar ke raaste meN kaheeN kehkashaaN naheeN hai
yaar logoN ne doosra misra yooN badal Daalaa:
mere ghar ke raaste meN *koyi* kehkashaaN naheeN hai
Zaidi ke misre meN "kaheeN" bharti kaa lafz thaa lekin "islaah" meN
koyi ziyaada behtar tareeqe se khap gayaa hai.
--
Saba:
deewaar kyaa giri mere Khasta makaan ki
logoN ne mere sehn meN raste banaa liye
'awaam:
deewaar kyaa giri mere *kachche* makaan ki
aik baar phir "Khasta" ke muqaabile meN "kachche" kaheeN behtar hai!
--
mazmoon kaa iKhtitaam aik bhaari patthar se (Darte Darte) kar rahaa
hooN k mabaadaa ye patthar "boomerang" ban kar hamaare hi sar par
baras paRe!!! chachaa jaan ki mash'hoor tareeN GhazaloN meN se aik
hai:
aah ko chaahiye ik umr asar hone tak
kaun jeetaa hai tiri zulf ke sar hone tak
Ghalib ki zindagi meN un ke deewaan ke paanch edition shaa'e huwe, sab
meN Ghazal ki radeef "hote tak" hai!!!
ab naqqaad chaahe jo kaheN, lekin sauti etibaar se "hote tak" meN te
ki tund o tez o talKh takraar ke muqaabile meN "hone tak" kaanoN ko
ziyaada mutarannim ma'aloom hotaa hai!
aadaab arz hai,
Zafar
UVR
baRaa hi dilchasp mauzoo' chheRaa hai aap ne. shukriya!
On Oct 16, 7:03 pm, Zafar <ZaffS...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
> Mustafa Zaidi kaa mash'hoor she'r hai:
>
> inhi patthroN pe chal ke agar aa sako to aa'o
> mere ghar ke raaste meN kaheeN kehkashaaN naheeN hai
>
> yaar logoN ne doosra misra yooN badal Daalaa:
>
> mere ghar ke raaste meN *koyi* kehkashaaN naheeN hai
>
> Zaidi ke misre meN "kaheeN" bharti kaa lafz thaa lekin "islaah" meN
> koyi ziyaada behtar tareeqe se khap gayaa hai.
>
> --
bhai mujhe to, Zafar saahib, "kaheeN" hi ziyaadah mauzooN
lagaa. bal-k maiN to yeh tak kahtaa hooN k "koi kahkashaaN"
be-ma'ani saa lagtaa hai, kyoN k (mere Khayaal meN) yahaaN
Zaidi saahib apne ghar tak jaane waali us oobaR-khaabaR,
nukeele pattharoN bhari Dagar ko us maKhsoos sitaaroN
bhare har-dil-azeez raste ke muqaabil rakkhe hue haiN jise
kuchh log "aakaash-gangaa" bhi kahte haiN.
In other words, he is juxtaposing "stony way" against *the*
"Milky Way" -- therefore, saying "some" (koi) kahkashaaN
hardly seems appropriate.
-UVR.
Kali Hawa
> deewaar kyaa giri mere Khasta makaan ki
> logoN ne mere sehn meN raste banaa liye
> 'awaam:
> deewaar kyaa giri mere *kachche* makaan ki
> aik baar phir "Khasta" ke muqaabile meN "kachche" kaheeN behtar
ghustaaKHi muaaf Zafar Sahib,
khasta behtar hai, I can burden you with a long commentary if you
want.
aadaab
Kali Hawa
Zafar
saahib! banda-parwar, "koyi" koyi aisaa gayaa guzraa lafz naheeN hai
bal k apne andar ma'ani ki duniyaa sameTe huve hai. is she'r ki
'awami shakl meN koyi kaa matlab "some" naheeN, jo aap samajhe, bal k
yahaaN koyi kaa matlab hai "bil-kul", "har-giz" "kisi bhi soorat
meN"! baat waazih naheeN huwi? dekhiye aur bataa'iye k is fiqre meN
koyi kaa kyaa matlab nikaltaa hai:
ye dasht e ishq hai miyaaN, koyi Khaala ji kaa ghar naheeN hai!
matlab = ye har-giz har-giz Khaala ji kaa ghar naheeN hai!
to yooN ab "islaah-shuda" she'r ke ma'ani huwe, mere ghar ke raate
maiN patthar hi patthar haiN, kehkashaaN har-giz naheeN hai ... is
liye "mind your step", phir na kehnaa hameN Khabar na huwi, vG.
is ke muqaablie meN "kaheeN kehkashaaN naheeN hai" se matlab nikaltaa
hai k jaise raaste meN aik sehraa hai, aik dariyaa bhi behtaa hai,
kuchh pahaaR haiN aur saath hi saath aik adad kehkashaaN bhi paRti
hai.
lekin Khair, pasand apni apni!
Zafar
Zafar
Kaalaa saahib:
<shukr hai k aap ne meraa naam durust kar diyaa!>
ittifaaq dekhiye k abhi kuchh der pehle aik colleague ne yehi she'r
paRhaa. maiN ne jaldi se islaah paish ki:
"kachhe makaan naheeN bal k Khasta makaan hai."
unhoN ne fauran hi, aao dekhaa na taao, jhaT se fiqra jaR diyaa:
"miyaaN, Khasta to biscuit hotaa hai, makaan naheeN!"
aur mere paas baGhleN jhaankne ke siwaa aur koyi chaaraa na rahaa!
Zafar
Zafar
Vijay
maiN aap ke pesh-kardah aik aur she'r ke baare meN soch raha thaa, ki
is laRii ne mauqa faraaham kar diia baat kehne kaa:
'vohii raftaar be-DhaNgii jo pehle thii so ab bhii hai'
maiN ne is misre ko hameshaa aise suna hai:
'vuhii ik chaal be-DhaNgii.....'
aur mujhe is kii yihii suurat ziaada aziiz hai (mere nazdiik to yih
vazan meN hii hai...)
Regards,
Vijay
sat pal
Dear jafar ji
jaise shayar ne kahiin ka istemal kiya hai wo bilkul sahih lagta hai.
baaki kuch bhi kaho. sher me jo shayar kehna chah raha tha that is
conveyed.
sat pal
sat pal
i don know but humne yahi suna hai ki makan agar khasta haal me hoga
to tootega fir vo kacha ho ja pakka.
sat pal
Zoya
is post ke liye bahaut bahut shukriyah.
It is our good old Zaf Sahib at his very best again: the message is
informative as well as interesting!
maiN kuChh ashaar kii too donoN suuratoN se vaaqif thii, aur kuChh
ashaar kii sirf 'modified' suurat se! :)
maslan maiN ne Mustafa Zaidi ke sher meiN hamesha se 'koii
kehkashaaN' hii sunaa/kahaa hai, aap kii baat paRh kar meraa jii
chaaha k kuliyaat-e-Zaidi uThha kar dekhuuN, kya vaaqai is meiN
'kahiiN' hai, lekin phir sochaa k aap keh rahe haiN to zaruur aisaa
hii hoga, kya doublecheck karnaa hai!!! :)
Thanks again, I really enjoyed reading this post. Maybe I'll add to
this list of ashaar you have posted, but can't think of any right now.
_________Zoya