usataza .....part 1 . (khaka kashi)
arzoo
kuch shakhsiyat pe jab alfaaz talash kiyay jain aur ager wo kisi
safhay ki zeenat bannay say pehlay hi , zehen kay nihan khanoon main
, apas main jhagarnay lagain ke pehlay kaghaz ki zeenat main banoon ga
aur pehlay main ....to likhnay walay ko ye samjh laina chahyay ke
zair-e- mazoo hasti pe ya to wo kama haqa hoo likh nahi paey ga ,
ya ager kuch likhay ga to is main , lafzoon kay bahmi jhagray main
sulah karwanay say ziada ,likhari ka koey kamal na ho ga .
kuch aisi hi jang is waqt mairay zehen main jaari hay . aur is say
pehlay ke muamla mairay haath say bahir ho main sharoo karti hoon,
parhnay walay say guzarish hay ke , mairi adna si koshish ko aik
kharaj-e- tehseen kay chotay say tuhfay say ziada na samjhain.
main buhut choti thi jab ammi nay mujhay muhallay ki aik khala kay
paas " Qurrani qaeda " parhnay bhaija . " khala ji" kay naam say
boorhi si khatoon imam masjid ki bivi thin. masjid kay saath hi aik
kamray aur aik chobaray ka chota sa ghar tha . jis kay kachay sehen
main , oondhay tokaray main kut kut karti kuch murghyaan aur un kay
choozay, bhi rehtay thay. sehen kay konay main koeylay wala choolha
saath hi aik huqqa tha . qul khandaan ka maloom nahi laikin un ki aik
baiti sajida baji ka naam aj bhi yaad hay . muhallay ki choti bari bay
shumaar larkiyaan khala ji say qurran parhnay ati thin.aur khala ji
apni haleem tabeyat say na sirf Qurran ki taleem daitin balkay mujh
jaisi anari larkyoon ko , murghyoon ko dana dalana, koelay jalana,
kachaysehen main pocha lagana ,chabaray pe ja kay mulhiqa masjid kay
meenaroon pe anay walay kabootroon ko dana dalna , aur garmyoon main
khajoor wali chatayoon pe , haath wali rang birangi sanwayaan banana
bhi un ki di hoey asnaad main shamil tha. qanooni manoon main ye mairi
pehli " ustaani" thin.main wahaan chand maheenay hi gaey Qurrani qaeda
aur baqi lazmi " uloom" per uboor hasil kar liya to baaqi ka
Qurran main nay apni walida say parhna seekha .laikin mairi
"rasm-e-amin" pe unhain bhi yaad rakha gaia . aur us din say aaj
tak,bhalay hi wo Allah ko piyari ho chuki hain laikin , wo apnay
kachay sehen ki soondhi khushboo aur qaeday ka sabaq yaad karti hoey
larkioon kay darmiyaan , koroshyay ki kinaray wali chader main
muskati hoey aaj bhi mairay samnay hain.
apnay school ka pehla din mujhay yaad nahi laikin , kinder garden ki
pehli teacher " Miss Talaat" teekhay nuqoosh , saaf rangat,naak kay
baien janab hont kay ooper aik muhasa , meethi awaz meethi muskaan
aur sarapa muhabbat aaj bhi mujhay kabhi kabhaar 3 saal ki laal ribon
banday hoay nut khat si bachi bannay pe majboor kar daiti hay.aur
math aur english ki copyoon pe ja baja surkh roshnaey say un kay pen
say banay hoay starts , aaj bhi mairi ankhoon ki chamak ko barhatay
hain.
" Mrs Razaq" pehli jamaet main mairi drawing ki teacher thin , aur
jitni bhi drawing mujhay aaj ati hay sirf un kay aik saal ki muhabbat
ki badolat hay, unhain nahi maloom ke pehli jamet main cone ice
cream , patang aur mukhtalif phaloon main rang bharnay wali " main"
aaj kaey canvases pe oil aur water painting main kisi had tak mahir
hay, laikin ye sirf main jaanti hoon ke drawing ki mairi zindigi
main wo wahid teacher rahin hain, jo maira haath paker kay sikhati
thin ke " baingan main aik sa rang kis tarha bharna hay " .
doosri jamet main " Mrs latif " aur " miss nuzhat " urdu aur english
ki " khushkhati" dainay wali teachers , aaj tak aur ainda likhay
janaywalay her her lafz main jhalakti hain.na janay nisaab ki
kitabain far far parhnay kay liyay mairi zuban main wo kon sa manter
phoonk chuki thin ke hamisha aik hi mah main saari kitaab parh lainay
ka shauq M.A tak jari raha.
panchwin jamet kay usatza main aik naam " Miss Sabahat" ka bhi yaad
hay , gutoon say lambi kaali choti , qadray pakkay rang pe akser
mairoon aur surkh lipstick main wo mujhay kabhi haulnaak nahi lagin
thin laikin do moti moti ankhain jab class kay shore machatay hoay
bachoon pe jamti aur ghussay say aik jumla ada hota " all of u stand
up , put your fingures on your lips and stand still until next
period." to bas jaisay jaagti ankhoon say khaufnaak khawb daikha
hay. khamosh rehnay ki ye mashq main aaj bhi karti hoon , jab kabhi
bheer aur shore say ghabrati hoon to ji chahta hay ke kahin say miss
sabahat aa jain aur dunya ko khamosh kara dain.
aik aur naam " miss ameena khanam " ka bhi hay , jo panchween main
urdu parhati thi aur un dinoo hamray school ki principal thin.
mukamal sufaid libaas, sufaid hi baal hata ke sufaid hi ghari ka stap
aur sufaid hi rangat un ka aisa khasa hay ke main bhoolna chahoon
bhi to nahi bhool paoon gi. un ki badolat aaj bhi " ink pen " say
mujhay raghbat ziada hay. go ke" kachi" pencil ka apna hi lutf hay
laikin wo kachi umer main nib pen pakarnay ka maza to aisay hay
jaisay bachpan main baray pan ka khawb.
6th class ki" mrs nuzhat naeem " , hallem tabeat , dheemi awaz, aur
class ki bad tameezyoon kay jawab main sabr say muskera dainay ki
aala zarfi ki badolat mairi yaad ka hissa ban gaey hain.
7th class main jab shaoor nay her taraf say miair zaat main dakhil
hona chaha to , us dauraan kuch aisay usataza ka saath mila ke jin
say matric tak mairay ander kay tareek aur gumnaam goshay khud ba
khud roshan hotay gaey." Mrs munawer rafeeq" sirf naam ki manawer
nahi thin balkay isam ba musama rahin, " islamyaat " jaisa bazahir
asaan subject bhi unhoon nay itni " wusat say parhaia ke lagta tha
ke adhay ghantay ka ye period saray din ka eham period hay aur sirf
isi adhay ghantay kay liyay main school aati hoon.
satwin aur athwin class ka aik khasa " Miss gulnaaz" bhi hain ,
ausat aur aljabra kay sawal ager kisi ko na ain to maira mashwara hay
ke wo dua maingay ke unhain koey un jaisi teacher mil jain. sanwali
saloni , smart si miss gulnaz , green board pe sawal samjhati nahi
thakti thin aur hum apni rough copis pe sawal hal kartay nahi thaktay
thay.
aik doosra naam " mrs Zaheer " ka hay . english main direct and
indirect . tenses aur active passive sikhanay kay liyay jinhoon nay
her her harba azamaia .us waqt na sahi laikin ab to un kay boey hoay
beejoon kay pauday phooloon say mehektay hain.
matric wo class hoti hay ke jab baqi batoon kay saath insaan main "
ana " bhi jagti hay ,aur kuch " maqasid " bhi lukan chupi khailtay
hain. aur is kay saath aina daikhna bhi khoobsoorat lagnay lagta
hay, aaj kal jisay " teen age" kehtay hain . to teenage main ager
kisi ko aala usataza mil jain to aik kamyaab insaan ho sakta hay ,
aur is muamlay main bhi main buhut khushqismat rahi .
biology ki " miss Parveen", chemistry ki " mis Naheed " physics ki "
miss Sajida" , math kay sir Asif . pakistan studies ki " miss Arifa "
jaisay tallem yafta aur intehaey tehzeeb yafta usataza milay. in main
say aik na bhoolnay wali hasti "miss Rahat " hain, aaj ager kuch
khiyal alfaaz main dhalnay kay laeq hoon to sirf unhi ki di hoey
taleem say.
urdu jaisay bazahir asaan aur qadray ghair zaroori subject ko un ki
shakhsiyat "zaroori " aur " paicheeda" samjha aur samjhia . mujhay
lagta tha ke un jaisi sumander sift teacher kay samnay main khud ko
qatra bhi nahi bana paoon gi. aur abhi bhi yehi lagta hay . kuch
usataza sooraj ki tarha hotay hain , roshni dainay say unhain koey
farq nahi parta . aur lainay walay kay liyay thora bhi buhut ho jata
hay. aik ustaad kia hota hay , kaisay hota hay kioon hota hay ? sab
sawaloon kay jawab main ager koey mujh say kahay ke aik naam lo to
main un ka naam laitay hoay nahi hichkichaoon gi. .. patli dubli ,
lambi choti, sada libaas . sanjeedgi aur waqar shakhsiyat main itni
thi ke bazahir maloom hota tha ke shaid roab aur aik tasur kay siwa
kuch nahi laikin , class main atay hi jab matric kay nisaab ki urdu
ki kitaab khulti , sirf main hi nahi saari jamaet pe aik jadoo ka sa
aser ho jata , aam seedhay sadhay likhay hoay alfaaz apnay majmooey
maani aur mafhoom say abgeenay mehsoos hotay , shaer kay khiyal ,
jagti ankh kay khawb mehsoos hotay aur urdu grammer kay usool kisi
mazboot emarat kay na girnay walay satoon. ager aaj bhi main urdu ki
wo kitab kholoon to wo elm ki roshni aur idrak ki khushboo say muter
lagti hay. sach janyay to mujhay apni urdu ki kitaab aur urdu ki
teacher aik hi cheez kay do aks lagtay.
wo parhatay waqt kisi aisay fawaray say kam na thin jo hatalmaqdoor
khaitoonko sairaab karta hay , aaj itnay saal ho gaey , un ki
sarzinash karti nazer . shusta urdu ka muhazab lehja . green board pe
tirchay katay chalk say, makhrooti unglyoon say khushnuma tehreer
aur jamaet main un kay anay say tilsamati fiza aisay hay jaisay abhi
kuch dair pehlay hi " recess" ki ghanti baji ho aur mairay samnay say
wo abhi uth kay gaey hoon.wo aisi teachers main say thin jo apnay
achay say achay shagird say hi mutmaen nahi hotin laikin un ka
nikamay say nikama shagird bhi un say her lehas say mutmaen hota.
main jitna likhoon soorajh ko chiragh dikhanay kay mutradif hay.
in kay elawa aik teacher aisay bhi hain jo mairay ustaad kam aur
dost ziada thay . English kay
" sirf farooq " . un kay saath dostana rawaya is liyay bhi tha ke wo
mujhay " tution" kay sir thay ,English hi nhai balkay dunya kay kaey
ramooz sikhatay thay. zindigi main wahid unhoon nay batia ke nisaab
ki taleem to asal main sirf 10% hay . qudrat ko ziada manzoor nahi
tha aur un say main sirf chand mah hi faiz yaab ho saki, dil kay aik
arzay main wo achanak chal basay..wo din aisay hi tha jaisay koey ye
batey ke sooraj aaj kay baad taloo nahi ho ga ....un kay baad zindigi
bazahir andhairi si ho gaey ....laikin jis shagird kay haath main
...usatza ki di hoey mishalaain hoon wo andhairoon main hotay hoay
bhi nahi hota.
matric kay baad agay bari classes main bhi bay shumaar aala zarf
usatza aey ,laikin shaid tab sooraj say ziada roshni ka lalach par
gaia ya , parhhaey aisi thi ke usatza nay hasb-e-sabiq tasur to chora
laikin shaoor kay original parday per jo naqsh thay unhain main
overlap nahi karna chahti thi.aur yahaan bhi wohi tasur batana chahti
hoon jisay khurach kay mitana chahoon to bhi bay kaar hay.
laikin yahaan main apnay parhnay waloon ko ye batati chaloon ke ye to
sirf cheeda cheeda naam thay , mairi zindidi gi main aisay aftaab
ungint hain jin ka silsila aaj tak jaari -o- saari hay. kioonke is ki
zaroorat ka ehsaas mujhay tab hoa jab aik din kuch books pakray ,
apna doppata set kartay hoay main khud , 20 bachyoon pe mushtamil
5th class kay kamray main dakhil hoey....
chand hi dinoon main mujhay ye andaza ho gaia ke kahaan mairay
usataza aur khaan main khud ... saal do teen tadrees kay ye kaam
jaari rakha aur usay apnay taur per behtreen karnay ki koshish karti
rahi laikin ye kehna bay ja na ho ga ke mairi hazar koshish kay
bawjude main itnay usataza main say kisi aik kay muaqablay kay
braber hi nahi.
aap ye sochtay hoon gay ke dunya ki ye kon si larki hay jisay usatza
say itni muhabbat thi? ye sawal baja hay yaqeen kijyay us waqt main
aik aam shagird ki tarha apnay usatza ki jitni qader karti thi utni
hi naqadri bhi. aam shagird ki tarha hi her teacher ki kamzoryaan
bhi dhoondhti thi . aur jab kisi function main mairi hum jamat kisi ki
naqal utartin to hans hans kay laut paut bhi ho jati thi. laikin ye
sab larkpan say naujawani tak atay atay madoom hota gaia .aur is ki
jaga ezzat-o- qader nay lay li . is liyay , jis din main khud aik
teacher kay roop main green board pe aik spelling mistake pe saari
class ki hansi ka nishana bani to main nay unhain dantnay ki bajaey
ye socha ke ye hansi mazaq to bachpan tak hi hay , laikin green board
per mita kay likha hoa lafz inhain yaad rahay ga.bas yehi soch kay
khud bhi un kay saath hans di.
lectures daitay hoay aik hi din main main " khala ji" say lay kay "
miss rahat aur sir farooq " tak saray hi roop behroop badalti . mujhay
maloom nahi ke mairi zaat ka kon sa hissa khalis maira hay. maira hay
bhi ya nahi. ya ye sab roshni mustaar li hoey hay . ya ke amanat hay
jisay baghair khiyanat kay anay walay kal tak pohnchana hay ...
