Ghazal: "darj hai jo haath meN..."
Irfan 'Abid'
pahle Zafar Sb kaa :daavaa: ki un ke aur Sarwar Sb ke ilaavah yahaaN
koii nahiiN rahaa, aur phir Sarwar Sb kii :daavat: ki Zafar Sb ko
sharmindah kiyaa jaaye! bhalaa maiN kaise chuuk saktaa huuN! :-))
liijiye ek Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. hasb-e-maamuul, aap kii raae kaa
intizaar rahegaa.
Ghazal
darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
jis qadar rangeeniyaaN theeN aashiqii ke Khvaab meN
utnii hii takleef dii hai Khvaab kii taabeer ne
raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
in makaanoN meN jo rahte haiN unheN hai kyaa Khabar
baaGh kitne phuuNk Daale shahr kii taameer ne
aap kyoN naadim haiN meraa Khuun bahtaa dekh kar
zulm to dar-asl Dhaayaa aap kii shamsheer ne
ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
kaash maiN bhii kah sakuuN ik sher :Abid: is tarah
jaise :Ghalib: ne kahe yaa :DaaGh: ne yaa :Meer: ne
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Rajiv Chakravarti
A wonderful GHazal !! Thanks for sharing it with us.
An unqualified "kudos" for the entire GHazal !
i_a...@hotmail.com (Irfan 'Abid') wrote in message news:<632bac0b.02020...@posting.google.com>...
> aadaab dosto!
>
> darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
> kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
>
doosra misra' bohot pasand aayaa. albatta pehla misra'
par shaayad nazar-e-saani kar leN to acchaa hoga.
> jis qadar rangeeniyaaN theeN aashiqii ke Khvaab meN
> utnii hii takleef dii hai Khvaab kii taabeer ne
>
> raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
> jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
>
"sharm ki zanjeer" ! vaah .. bohot KHoob!
> in makaanoN meN jo rahte haiN unheN hai kyaa Khabar
> baaGh kitne phuuNk Daale shahr kii taameer ne
>
> aap kyoN naadim haiN meraa Khuun bahtaa dekh kar
> zulm to dar-asl Dhaayaa aap kii shamsheer ne
>
> ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
> dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
>
> kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
> kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
>
yeh she'r bhi bohot pasand aayaa.. marhabaa !
lafzoN ka inteKHaab bohot umdaa hai yahaaN bhi
> saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
> ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
>
> kaash maiN bhii kah sakuuN ik sher :Abid: is tarah
> jaise :Ghalib: ne kahe yaa :DaaGh: ne yaa :Meer: ne
>
vaah, sahib! dil Khush ho gayaa aap ki GHazal paRh kar.
dua'a hai ke isi me'yaar ki GhazleN likhte rahiye...
faqat,
Rajiv
> niyaazmand,
> Irfan :Abid:
Sarwar Alam Raz
>
> pahle Zafar Sb kaa :daavaa: ki un ke aur Sarwar Sb ke ilaavah yahaaN
> koii nahiiN rahaa, aur phir Sarwar Sb kii :daavat: ki Zafar Sb ko
> sharmindah kiyaa jaaye! bhalaa maiN kaise chuuk saktaa huuN! :-))
> liijiye ek Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. hasb-e-maamuul, aap kii raae kaa
> intizaar rahegaa.
Irfan saaheb: aadaab arz!
meree :da.vat: qubool karne kaa shukriya. yeh dekh kar aur bhee
Khushee huee k aap kee Ghazal ne Rajiv saaheb ko :Khwaab.e.Khargosh:
se jagaa diyaa varna maiN to un kee jaanib se kuChh maayoos saa ho
chalaa thaa! :))=
aap kee Ghazal dekhee aur majmoo.ee tor se pasand bhee aayee. agar
gustaaKhee na samjheN to itnaa zaroor arz karnaa chaahataa hooN k is
martaba aap ke ash.aar ke mazaameen bohat :sapaat: se haiN, ya.nee un
meiN voh gehraa.ee aur ma.naviyyat naheeN nazar aayeeN jo aap ke
kalaam kee numaayaaN khusoosiyat haiN.
chand :Havaashee: darj kar rahaa hooN. mumkin hai ke maiN apnee raa.e
meiN Ghalat hooN lekin yeh bhee jaantaa hooN k is soorat meiN
ahl.e.fikr.o.nazar mujh ko aagaah kar deNge!
Sarwar Raz :Sarwar:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Ghazal
>
> darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
> kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
doosraa misra aChhaa hai magar pehle misre kaa :us qudratee teHreer:
us kaa saath naheeN de paa rahaa hai. zor.e.bayaan ke liye agar yooN
kaheN to kaisaa rahegaa?
darj hai jo haath meiN, haaN haaN, usee teHreer ne
kyaa kaheN, kaisaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne!
> jis qadar rangeeniyaaN theeN aashiqii ke Khvaab meN
> utnii hii takleef dii hai Khvaab kii taabeer ne
>
> raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
> jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
bhalaa ishq :sharm: kaa baa.is kab se aur kyoNkar qaraar paayaa?
Haal.e.dil sunaane kee to aashiq ko Khwaahaish huaa kartee hai, is
meiN :sharm: ka muqaam samajh meiN naheeN aayaa: daaka to naheeN
daalaa, choree to naheeN kee hai!!
> in makaanoN meN jo rahte haiN unheN hai kyaa Khabar
> baaGh kitne phuuNk Daale shahr kii taameer ne
>
> aap kyoN naadim haiN meraa Khuun bahtaa dekh kar
> zulm to dar-asl Dhaayaa aap kii shamsheer ne
kyaa :shamsheer: baGhair :aap: ke chalaa.ee jaa saktee thee? aankh ke
muta.alliq to aisee baat kahnaa Theek hai kyoN.k voh be.iKhtiyaar bhee
uTh jaatee hai, magar shamsheer to :aap: ke uThaa.e ba.Ghair chalne
kaa savaal hee naheeN hai! mazmoon kuChh Ghair.fitree ho gayaa hai,
yaa phir meree samajh kaa qusoor hai.
> ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
> dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
is :ae tabeeb: ko badal daiN to behtar hogaa! doosraa misra :ma.shooq:
maaNg rahaa hai, lihaaza buKhl se kaam na leN! aur agar :tabeeb: kaa
mazmoon hee rakhnaa manzoor hai to yooN keh leejiye k is meiN
:meHboob: kaa ishaara bhee hai:
ae maseeHaa! tujh ko aane kee zaroorat hee naheeN!
> kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
> kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
pehla misra zor.daar aur ma.nee.Khez hai lekin doosre misre meiN
:aarzoo.e.shuhrat.o.toqeer: ne us kaa saaraa maza kirkiraa kar diya!
:shikasta Khwaab: aur :thakaa haaraa vujood: kuChh aur maNg rahe haiN-
koee dil kee baat ho, kuChh meHboob ka zikr ho yaa apnee HasratoN kaa
bayaan. :shuhrat.o.toqeer: se aik dunyaavee tasavvur miltaa hai jo
Theek to hai lekin kaafee naheeN!!
> saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
> ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
mazmoon Khoobsoorat hai. agar bayaan bhee aisaa hee pur.zor ho jaa.e
to kyaa buraa hai! is taraH kaheN to kaisaa rahegaa?
saamne paakar Khudaa jaane hamaaraa kyaa bane?
dekh! deevaana banaa daalaa tiree tasveer ne!
> kaash maiN bhii kah sakuuN ik sher :Abid: is tarah
> jaise :Ghalib: ne kahe yaa :DaaGh: ne yaa :Meer: ne
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ummeed hai k meraa tabsare hamesha kee taraH faraaKh.dilee se
dekheNge. ko.ee kotaahee ho gayee ho to aagaah farmaaiye:
shaahaaN che ajab gar be.navaazaNd gadaa raa!
Sarwar Raz :Sarwar:
Zafar
are saahib, aap ne itnee pyaaree Ghazal post kar ke to hameN waqa'ee
sharminda, balke paanee paanee, kar diyaa! paanee paanee par aik
puraanaa, bhoolaa bisraa, bheegaa bheegaa -- lekin saKht dilkash aur
visual, balke "pictorial" she'er yaad aa gayaa:
ye badlioN kaa shor, ye ghanghor qurbateN
baarish meN bheegte ye do rah-geer kon haiN!
aap ne meree "adeem ul masroofiyatee" ko wo nazar lagaaee hai k
pichhle koee 10 din se office meN lunch-break ke dauraan hee post
karne kaa mauqa mil rahaa hai! ye post bhee office se hee haazir hai.
aap kee Ghazal par tabsira haazir hai:
darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
she'er kee banaawaT meN jiddat hai jo kam az kam mujhe to baRee pasand
aayee. mujhe apnaa aik puraanaa TooTaa phooTaa saa she'er yaad aa
gayaa:
jo hotaa iKhtiyaar, apnee hathelee hee khurach dete
ham apnee kaalee qismat kaa likhaa tabdeel kar lete (qaafia: likhaa;
radeef: tabdeel kar lete)
jis qadar rangeeniyaaN theeN aashiqii ke Khvaab meN
utnii hii takleef dii hai Khvaab kii taabeer ne
"rangeeniyaaN" aur "takleef" kaa rabt e ma'akoos bahut gehraa naheeN
.... aik digression -- jaisaa k Ghaliban pehle bhee kabhee zikr huwaa
thaa -- "Khvaab" ko agar "Khaab" likhaa jaaye to kaisaa rahe gaa?
kyonKe romanized Urdu meN aam taur par "silent" huroof naheeN likhe
jaate. misaal ke taur par "bil-kul" ko "baalkul" naheeN likhaa jaataa,
na hee "Khud" ko "Khvud" aur "Khush" ko "Khvush", (jo k baRaa ajeeb
lage gaa.)
raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
Khoob hai!
in makaanoN meN jo rahte haiN unheN hai kyaa Khabar
baaGh kitne phuuNk Daale shahr kii taameer ne
wah, achchhaa kahaa hai. Majeed Amjad kee laafaanee nazm "Tausee' e
Shehr" yaad aa gayee. meree aap se aur doosre tamaam dostoN se bhee
guzaarish hai k ye nazm zaroor paRh leN:
http://www.eurdubazaar.com/images/majidamjad/g6.html
aap kyoN naadim haiN meraa Khuun bahtaa dekh kar
zulm to dar-asl Dhaayaa aap kii shamsheer ne
Irfan saahib, buraa naa manaaiye gaa, kuchh baat banee naheeN :)
shamsheer ke mazmoon ko aaj ke daur meN bhee nibhaayaa jaa saktaa hai
lekin thoRee see jiddat chaahiye warna baat bantee naheeN. aik jadeed
shaa'ir, Zafar Iqbal, kaa she'er dekhiye:
kis taaza ma'arake pe gayaa aaj phir 'Zafar'
talwaar taaq meN hai, na ghoRaa hai thaan par
ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
yahaaN bhee wahee baat hai jo pichhle she'er meN arz kee gayee.
kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
ye huwee naa baat! dekhiye is she'er meN kuchh asar paidaa ho gayaa
hai jis kee wajah sirf ye hai k ham bayaan kiye gaye mazmoon se
"relate" kar sakte haiN -- jo baat pichhle do ash'aar meN mafqood
thee.
saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
wah kyaa baat hai! achhee bandish hai aur wahee "relate" karne waalee
baat! bahut pasand aayaa ye she'er balke maiN to ise apnee table-diary
par note kiye letaa hooN!
kaash maiN bhii kah sakuuN ik sher :Abid: is tarah
jaise :Ghalib: ne kahe yaa :DaaGh: ne yaa :Meer: ne
"Mir" kaa qaafiyaa baRee Khoobee se khapaayaa hai. marhabaa!
aaKhir meN ummeed rakhtaa hooN k aap meree tanqeed kaa buraa naheeN
manaayaiN ge kyonke, jaisaa k aap baKhoobee jaante haiN, maqsad
taKhreeb naheeN ta'ameer hai.
Khair-andaish,
Zafar
Irfan 'Abid'
> aadaab,
>
> A wonderful GHazal !! Thanks for sharing it with us.
> An unqualified "kudos" for the entire GHazal !
>
Rajiv Sb, aadaab arz hai!
aap ko itne arse ke baad mahfil meN dekh kar behad Khushii huii.
Sarwar Sb kaa kahnaa durust hai. aur kuchh ho na ho, merii post aap
kii vaapasii kaa zariyaa to banii! Welcome back!
Ghazal pasand farmaane ke liye mamnuun huuN. aap ke chand taasuuraat
vazaahat-talab haiN, jo haazir-e-Khidmat hai.
> >
> > darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
> > kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
> >
>
> doosra misra' bohot pasand aayaa. albatta pehla misra'
> par shaayad nazar-e-saani kar leN to acchaa hoga.
>
yahaaN mulaahizah farmaaiye ki main ne :us: kaa istemaal kyoN kiyaa.
sach puuchheN to qudrat kii tahreer hameN apne ird-gird kayii shakloN
meN nazar aatii hai. kisii zalzalaa-zadaa shahr ke khanDharaat hoN yaa
kisii sailaab-zadaa bastii ke ujRe khet. kisii gulshan ke
KhizaaN-zadaa suukhe daraKht hoN yaa kisii qahat-zadaa ilaaqe meN
maveshiyoN kii laasheN. Ye sab qudrat kii tahreer ke namuune haiN.
yahaaN qudrat kii ek maKhsuus tahreer ka zikr hai, jo insaan ke haath
meN darj hotii hai, aur jise ham :taqdeer: kahte haiN. ho saktaa hai
merii fikr meN koii Khaamii ho. Sarwar Sb ko bhii na jaane kyoN pahlaa
misraa kuchh jachaa nahiiN. bahar-haal, aap ne ishaaraa kiyaa hai to
maiN is kii bahtarii kii koshish karuuNgaa.
> >
> > raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
> > jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
> >
> "sharm ki zanjeer" ! vaah .. bohot KHoob!
>
bahut bahut shukriya! baqaul Sarwar Sb, is otherwise :sapaaT: Ghazal
meN jin ek do muqaamaat par maiN koii jiddat paidaa kar sakaa, ye un
meN se ek hai. mujhe Khushii hai ki aap ne ye bandish note kii aur
pasand kii.
> >
> > kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
> > kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
> >
> yeh she'r bhi bohot pasand aayaa.. marhabaa !
> lafzoN ka inteKHaab bohot umdaa hai yahaaN bhi
>
Thanks again!
>
> vaah, sahib! dil Khush ho gayaa aap ki GHazal paRh kar.
> dua'a hai ke isi me'yaar ki GhazleN likhte rahiye...
>
> faqat,
> Rajiv
ek martabaa phir, aa kii inaayat kaa tah-e-dil se sukriya! ab agar aap
jald apnii koii taazah Ghazal sunaa deN to daad kaa haq sahiih maanii
meN adaa ho jaayegaa.
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Irfan 'Abid'
>
> aap kee Ghazal dekhee aur majmoo.ee tor se pasand bhee aayee. agar
> gustaaKhee na samjheN to itnaa zaroor arz karnaa chaahataa hooN k is
> martaba aap ke ash.aar ke mazaameen bohat :sapaat: se haiN, ya.nee un
> meiN voh gehraa.ee aur ma.naviyyat naheeN nazar aayeeN jo aap ke
> kalaam kee numaayaaN khusoosiyat haiN.
>
aap ne bilkul durust farmaayaa. Ghazal vaaqaii :sapaaT: hai. ab merii
jaanib se koii :excuse: bhii to chaahiye, so haazir hai :-)) dar-asl
ye Ghazal puraanii hai. aap kaa hukm dekhaa to bayaaz kholii. is
Ghazal par nazar paRii aur maiN ne ise yahaaN chaspaaN kar diyaa. is
kaa ye matlab qataii nahiiN ki ab fikr naurang aur puKhtaa ho gayii
hai. is Khuubii kii tamannaa aur koshish to aaj bhii hai aur shaayad
kal bhii rahegii.
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Ghazal
> >
> > darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
> > kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
>
> doosraa misra aChhaa hai magar pehle misre kaa :us qudratee teHreer:
> us kaa saath naheeN de paa rahaa hai. zor.e.bayaan ke liye agar yooN
> kaheN to kaisaa rahegaa?
>
> darj hai jo haath meiN, haaN haaN, usee teHreer ne
> kyaa kaheN, kaisaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne!
>
is sher par kuchh vazaahat Rajiv Sb ko apne javaab meN likhii hai. aap
ne jo badal tajviiz kiyaa hai, bahut pasand aayaa. taaham ek kamii
nazar aayii. haath meN to ham Khud bhii kuchh darj kar sakte haiN
(haalaaNki is kaa imkaan kam hii hai) lihaazah maiN :qudrat: kaa zikr
zaruurii samajhtaa huuN. bahar-haal, is misre par maziid Ghaur
karuuNgaa.
> > raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
> > jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
>
> bhalaa ishq :sharm: kaa baa.is kab se aur kyoNkar qaraar paayaa?
> Haal.e.dil sunaane kee to aashiq ko Khwaahaish huaa kartee hai, is
> meiN :sharm: ka muqaam samajh meiN naheeN aayaa: daaka to naheeN
> daalaa, choree to naheeN kee hai!!
>
Sarwar Sb, ye to apne apne mizaaj kii baat hai. kuchh aashiq aise bhii
hote haiN jin kii muhabat kabhii dil se laboN tak nahiiN aa paatii!
> > aap kyoN naadim haiN meraa Khuun bahtaa dekh kar
> > zulm to dar-asl Dhaayaa aap kii shamsheer ne
>
> kyaa :shamsheer: baGhair :aap: ke chalaa.ee jaa saktee thee? aankh ke
> muta.alliq to aisee baat kahnaa Theek hai kyoN.k voh be.iKhtiyaar bhee
> uTh jaatee hai, magar shamsheer to :aap: ke uThaa.e ba.Ghair chalne
> kaa savaal hee naheeN hai! mazmoon kuChh Ghair.fitree ho gayaa hai,
> yaa phir meree samajh kaa qusoor hai.
>
ye ek aashiq kii apne naadim aur afsurdah mahbuub kii diljoii kii ek
koshish hai. vaaqiah kii nauiyat par na jaaiye, aashiq kaa
jazba-e-qurbaanii dekhiye! rahaa savaal :shamsheer: kaa :aap: kii
marzii ke baGhair chalne kaa, to yaqiin kiijiye aisaa mumkin hai.
shaitaan jab aadmii par haavii ho jaataa hai to bahut se kaam
be-iKhtiyaar ho jaate haiN. is sher par Zafar Sb ko maziid tafsiil
likhii hai. munaasib samjheN to dekh leN.
> > ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
> > dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
>
> is :ae tabeeb: ko badal daiN to behtar hogaa! doosraa misra :ma.shooq:
> maaNg rahaa hai, lihaaza buKhl se kaam na leN! aur agar :tabeeb: kaa
> mazmoon hee rakhnaa manzoor hai to yooN keh leejiye k is meiN
> :meHboob: kaa ishaara bhee hai:
>
> ae maseeHaa! tujh ko aane kee zaroorat hee naheeN!
>
mujhe lafz-e-:maseehaa: beshak lafz-e-:tabeeb: se ziyaadah mauzuuN
lagaa. shukriya! albattaa maiN lafz-e-:ab: ko misre meN laanaa
zaruurii samajhtaa huuN, kyoNki merii naaqis raae meN ye lafz misre
kii jaan hai. aap kii tajviiz achchhii hai aur maiN is par zaruur
Ghaur karuuNgaa.
> > kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
> > kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
>
> pehla misra zor.daar aur ma.nee.Khez hai lekin doosre misre meiN
> :aarzoo.e.shuhrat.o.toqeer: ne us kaa saaraa maza kirkiraa kar diya!
> :shikasta Khwaab: aur :thakaa haaraa vujood: kuChh aur maNg rahe haiN-
> koee dil kee baat ho, kuChh meHboob ka zikr ho yaa apnee HasratoN kaa
> bayaan. :shuhrat.o.toqeer: se aik dunyaavee tasavvur miltaa hai jo
> Theek to hai lekin kaafee naheeN!!
>
yahaaN yuuN samajh liijiye ki :muNh kaa mazaa badalne ke liye:
ishq-o-muhabbat se haT kar kuchh dunyaavii masaail kaa zikr kiyaa hai.
aaKhir hamaarii hasratoN men ye bhii to shaamil hai ki ham dunyaa meN
surKhruu hoN, mash_huur hoN aur izzatdaar hoN. is ke liye ham koshaaN
bhii rahte haiN, lekin is koshish meN kitne logoN ko kaamyaabii miltii
hai!
> > saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
> > ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
>
> mazmoon Khoobsoorat hai. agar bayaan bhee aisaa hee pur.zor ho jaa.e
> to kyaa buraa hai! is taraH kaheN to kaisaa rahegaa?
>
> saamne paakar Khudaa jaane hamaaraa kyaa bane?
> dekh! deevaana banaa daalaa tiree tasveer ne!
>
is sher par aap kii raae samajhne meN zaraa diqqat ho rahii hai. mujhe
lagtaa hai ki pahle misre kii maujuudah suurat hii bahtar hai, Khaas
taur par lafz-e-:tujhe: kii vajah se. Ghaur kiijiye ki aap ke
tajviiz-kardah misre meN ye lafz nahiiN hai aur us meN qadre ibhaam
kii gunjaaish bhii hai (yaanii aisaa mahsuus hotaa hai jaise :Khudaa
ko saamne paane: kii baat ho rahii ho). albataa duusre misre ko :dekh:
se shuruua karne kaa Khayaal buraa nahiiN!
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ummeed hai k meraa tabsare hamesha kee taraH faraaKh.dilee se
> dekheNge. ko.ee kotaahee ho gayee ho to aagaah farmaaiye:
>
Sarwar Sb, kotaahii kaa to koii savaal hii nahiiN hai. mujhe to ghar
baiThe muft meN dars mil rahaa hai jis ke liye mujhe aap kaa
shukr-guzaar honaa chaahiye aur jo main huuN. aap ke mashviroN aur
qadr-daanii kaa shukriya!
niyaazmand,
Irfan 'Abid'
Irfan 'Abid'
> aap ne meree "adeem ul masroofiyatee" ko wo nazar lagaaee hai k
> pichhle koee 10 din se office meN lunch-break ke dauraan hee post
> karne kaa mauqa mil rahaa hai! ye post bhee office se hee haazir hai.
> aap kee Ghazal par tabsira haazir hai:
>
Zafar Sb, aadaab!
Khudaa aap ko aur aap kii har cheez ko nazar-e-bad se bachaaye!:-))
merii duaa hai ki aap jald faariGh hoN aur hameN phir apnii mustaqil
maujuudagii se sarfaraaz aur lutf-andoz kareN.
> darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
> kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
>
> she'er kee banaawaT meN jiddat hai jo kam az kam mujhe to baRee pasand
> aayee. mujhe apnaa aik puraanaa TooTaa phooTaa saa she'er yaad aa
> gayaa:
>
> jo hotaa iKhtiyaar, apnee hathelee hee khurach dete
> ham apnee kaalee qismat kaa likhaa tabdeel kar lete (qaafia: likhaa;
> radeef: tabdeel kar lete)
>
vaah! sher Khuub hai! agar ye :iklautaa: nahiiN hai, to Ghazal bhii
sunaa hii Daaliye!
> jis qadar rangeeniyaaN theeN aashiqii ke Khvaab meN
> utnii hii takleef dii hai Khvaab kii taabeer ne
>
> "rangeeniyaaN" aur "takleef" kaa rabt e ma'akoos bahut gehraa naheeN
> .... aik digression -- jaisaa k Ghaliban pehle bhee kabhee zikr huwaa
> thaa -- "Khvaab" ko agar "Khaab" likhaa jaaye to kaisaa rahe gaa?
> kyonKe romanized Urdu meN aam taur par "silent" huroof naheeN likhe
> jaate. misaal ke taur par "bil-kul" ko "baalkul" naheeN likhaa jaataa,
> na hee "Khud" ko "Khvud" aur "Khush" ko "Khvush", (jo k baRaa ajeeb
> lage gaa.)
>
amaaN Zafar Sb, aap sirf :paRhte: hii raheNge yaa kuchh :kareNge:
bhii?:-)lagtaa hai abhii ishq se aap kaa paalaa nahiiN paRaa varnaa
:rangiiniyoN: aur :takleef: kaa rabt aap ke ilm meN hotaa. bhaaii,
avval avval jab ishq kaa jazbaa jaagtaa hai to baRe haseen Khvaab aate
haiN, jaise baaGhoN aur bahaaroN ke, mahbuub kii zulfoN ke, ek tanhaa
goshe ke jahaaN sirf aap hoN, mahbuub ho aur teesraa koii na ho,
vaGhairah vaGhairah. phir haqeeqat se vaastaa paRtaa hai aur tasveer
kaa duusraa ruKh nazar aataa hai yaanii dunyaa kii nuktaacheenii, dil
kii bechainii and above all mahbuub ke sitam (read naKhre). ummiid hai
rabt ab aap par vaazah ho gayaa hgaa :-))
:Kh: se shuruua hone vaale alfaaz meN :v: kii zaruurat par aap kii
raae bajaa hai. mere Khayaal meN :v: kii zaruurat nahiiN. maiN aise
alfaaz kisii usuul kii binaa par nahiiN balki mahz aadatan likhtaa
huuN. is liye jis lafz kii jo suurat aam hai, vahii mere yahaaN bhii
mustamil hai. dekhiye diigar ahbaab is masale par kyaa farmaate haiN.
> in makaanoN meN jo rahte haiN unheN hai kyaa Khabar
> baaGh kitne phuuNk Daale shahr kii taameer ne
>
is sher par Majid Amjad Sb kii nazm aap ne Khuub yaad dilaayii. mujhe
jahaaN tak yaad hai, maiN ne ye nazm pahle bhii paRhii hai, aur ab to
ye aap kii umdah site par bhii maujuud hai. kyaa kahne!
>
> Irfan saahib, buraa naa manaaiye gaa, kuchh baat banee naheeN :)
> shamsheer ke mazmoon ko aaj ke daur meN bhee nibhaayaa jaa saktaa hai
> lekin thoRee see jiddat chaahiye warna baat bantee naheeN. aik jadeed
> shaa'ir, Zafar Iqbal, kaa she'er dekhiye:
>
> kis taaza ma'arake pe gayaa aaj phir 'Zafar'
> talwaar taaq meN hai, na ghoRaa hai thaan par
>
is sher par Sarwar Sb ne bhii ek savaal kiyaa hai. un ko meraa javaab
paRh liijiyegaa. aap kaa ye kahnaa bilkul durust hai ki ab :shamsheer:
kaa nahiiN, banduuq (balki guided missile) kaa zamaanaa hai, aur
:shamsheer: ke istemaal ke liye koii Khaas vajah honii chaahiye. lekin
janaab, hamaaraa mahbuub to :shamsheer: aaj bhii istemaal kartaa hai.
farq sirf ye hai ki us kii shamsheer niyaam meN nahiiN, muNh meN huaa
kartii hai. yaanii maiN ne :shamsheer: ko bataur :tashbiih: istemaal
karne kii koshish kii hai. aap chuuNki tafsiil meN dilchaspii rakhte
haiN, aap ko is sher kaa pas-manzar muKhtasir bataaye detaa huuN. huaa
yuuN ki A ne B ko kuchh saKht sust kah diyaa. B ne hasb-e-aadat
Khaamoshii se sab sun liyaa, haalaaNki use takleef huii, jo fitrii
baat thii aur jo us ke chahre se zaahir thii. kuchh der baad A ko
nidaamat huii aur itnii huii ki mat puucchiye. is par B ne A se kahaa
ki qusuur tumhaaraa nahiiN, zabaan kaa hai, jis kaa kaam hii hai
laGhzish. ab ye mat puuchhiyegaa ki ye A aur B kaun haiN. :-))
> ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
> dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
>
> yahaaN bhee wahee baat hai jo pichhle she'er meN arz kee gayee.
>
aap kii shikaayat bajaa hai. kyaa kiyaa jaaye, ek aadh sher kamzor paR
hii jaataa hai. Sarwar Sb ne :tabeeb: kii jagah :maseehaa: kii tajviiz
dii hai, jo mujhe pasand aayii. is sher par aur mahnat karuuNgaa.
>
> saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
> ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
>
> wah kyaa baat hai! achhee bandish hai aur wahee "relate" karne waalee
> baat! bahut pasand aayaa ye she'er balke maiN to ise apnee table-diary
> par note kiye letaa hooN!
>
Zafar Sb, ye to mere liye bahut baRaa aizaaz hai. bahut bahut
shukriya!
>
> aaKhir meN ummeed rakhtaa hooN k aap meree tanqeed kaa buraa naheeN
> manaayaiN ge kyonke, jaisaa k aap baKhoobee jaante haiN, maqsad
> taKhreeb naheeN ta'ameer hai.
>
Zafar Sb, buraa maanne kaa kyaa zikr hai! aap se aalim aur faazil
dostoN kii raae to mere liye qiimatii tohfaa hai. aur phir aap jaise
saahib-e-zauq ek sher bhii pasand kar leN to samajhiye puurii Ghazal
sarfaraaz ho gayii. aap kii inaayat ke liye bahut bahut shukriya!
niyaazmand,
Irfan 'Abid'
Irfan 'Abid'
>
> >
> > aap kee Ghazal dekhee aur majmoo.ee tor se pasand bhee aayee. agar
> > gustaaKhee na samjheN to itnaa zaroor arz karnaa chaahataa hooN k is
> > martaba aap ke ash.aar ke mazaameen bohat :sapaat: se haiN, ya.nee un
> > meiN voh gehraa.ee aur ma.naviyyat naheeN nazar aayeeN jo aap ke
> > kalaam kee numaayaaN khusoosiyat haiN.
> >
>
> aap ne bilkul durust farmaayaa. Ghazal vaaqaii :sapaaT: hai. ab merii
> jaanib se koii :excuse: bhii to chaahiye, so haazir hai :-)) dar-asl
> ye Ghazal puraanii hai. aap kaa hukm dekhaa to bayaaz kholii. is
> Ghazal par nazar paRii aur maiN ne ise yahaaN chaspaaN kar diyaa. is
> kaa ye matlab qataii nahiiN ki ab fikr naurang aur puKhtaa ho gayii
> hai. is Khuubii kii tamannaa aur koshish to aaj bhii hai aur shaayad
> kal bhii rahegii.
>
Sarwar Sb, aadaab!
aap meraa pichhlaa Khat dekh kar soch rahe hoNge ki ye kyaa! na salaam
na duaa, aur shuruua ho gaye! muaafii chaahtaa huuN. dar-asl jaldii
meN thaa aur proof-reading meN maiN vaise bhii Khasaa gayaa guzraa
huuN.
niyaazmand,
Irfan 'Abid'
Raj Kumar
> aadaab dosto!
>
> pahle Zafar Sb kaa :daavaa: ki un ke aur Sarwar Sb ke ilaavah yahaaN
> koii nahiiN rahaa, aur phir Sarwar Sb kii :daavat: ki Zafar Sb ko
> sharmindah kiyaa jaaye! bhalaa maiN kaise chuuk saktaa huuN! :-))
> liijiye ek Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. hasb-e-maamuul, aap kii raae kaa
> intizaar rahegaa.
My-o-my, Irfaan Sahib:
yaqeen jaaniye, aap ki Gahzal ka to yahaaN par voh haal huaa hai jo k
Khudaa-e-bartar hamaari na'ash ki bhi naheeN kare ga! na jaane,
yaar-dostoN ne ise kaun se 'adabi taraazoo' meiN tolaa hai k (dabi
zabaan meiN) ise 'naaqis-ul-udabaa' qaraar diya hai......maiN to,
huzoor, yihi kahooN ga k
"Allaah kare zor-e-SITAM aur ziyaaah"!
> darj hai jo haath meN us qudratii tahreer ne
> kyaa kaheN, kitnaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne
matla buraa naheeN --- agarche pehle aur doosre misre meiN thoRi bahut
KhaT-phaT zaroor hai. taaham, mujhe yaqeen-e-vaasiq hai k aap is misre
ko sudhaarne meiN kaam-yaab hoN ge!
> jis qadar rangeeniyaaN theeN aashiqii ke Khvaab meN
> utnii hii takleef dii hai Khvaab kii taabeer ne
aap chaahe 'Khvaab' kaheN, chaahe 'Khaab' kaheN --- albatta, baat to
vuhi hai. aur, meri haqeer raaye meiN, yeh she'r har lihaaz se mauzooN
hai!
> raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
> jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
meri raaye meiN, "sharm ki zaNjeeer" is a truly beautiful tarkeeb!
azeez-e-man, zaraa sochiye to k ushshaaq ka, mehboob ke saamne,
sharmaa jaana aek fitri amal hai --- kiyooN-ke ham meiN se beshtar
ushshaaq "DheeT" qism ke naheeN haiN. ab door kyaa jaana hai --- aap
apne Qais Saahib hi ko leejiye, yeh hazrat is qadar sharmeele vaaq'e
huye haiN k Khud haseenoN ko in par taras aane lagaa hai! :-))
> in makaanoN meN jo rahte haiN unheN hai kyaa Khabar
> baaGh kitne phuuNk Daale shahr kii taameer ne
Irfaan ji, aap ka yeh she'r koi aisa-vaisa she'r naheeN hai --- yeh to
"navaa-e-vaqt" hai! agar yihi she'r Faiz ne (yaa phir Faraaz ne) kahaa
hota to ham un ke saamne ghuTne Tek dete --- magar kyaa kareN k yeh
she'r un ka naheeN, faqat aap ka hai --- jo k na Faiz haiN aur na hi
Faraaz haiN --- is liye, ham "lakeer ke faqeer" is durr-e-Khush-aab ki
ta'areef karne se qaasir haiN!
> aap kyoN naadim haiN meraa Khuun bahtaa dekh kar
> zulm to dar-asl Dhaayaa aap kii shamsheer ne
is she'r par jo eiteraazaat kiye gaye haiN, kam-az-kam meri samajh se
to baalaa-tar haiN. haaN, agar aap doosre misre ko yooN kaheN to
shaa'id behtar rahe:
zulm Dhaayaa hai to, saahib, aap ki shamsheer ne!
yooN kehne se, (kam-az-kam meri raaye meiN), aap ka tanz aur bhi
teekha ho jaaye ga!
albatta, Zafar Saahib ka yeh kehna k lafz "shamsheer" pe is se kaheeN
behtar baNdisheN zuhoor-pazeer ho sakti haiN --- koi Ghalat-bayaanii
naheeN hai; misaal ke taur paar, aap apne marGhoob shaa'ir
janaab-e-Qais ka yeh she'r dekhiye; farmaate haiN k
mujrim tumhaare ishq ka kuchh saKht-jaaN sa hai!
kiyooN kaaNptii hai aap ki shamsheer, dekhnaa!!!
azeez-e-man, yeh hai aNdaaz rooz-e-avval ke deevaanoN ka!
magar, aap chooN-ke abhi tak "hosh-maNd" haiN, is liye aap ke liye
aisi Kharaabaat fil-haal door-az-door haiN! :-)) as well as :-((
> ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
> dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
yahaaN par, maiN Sarwar Saahib ki raaye se solah-aanne muttafiq hooN k
"ai tabeeb" ki ba-jaaye aap "ai maseehaa" kaheN. aur maiN aap ki yeh
baat bhi maanta hooN k is misre meiN lafz 'ab' ka aana ashad zaroori
hai.
If so, then how about this?
ai maseeha, ab tiraa aana yahaaN laazim naheeN!
On a second thought, how about changing 'ham' to 'mujh' in the second
misra?
> kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
> kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
meri naaqis raaye meiN to yeh she'r jaise ka taisa hi rahe to Theek
hai --- aage aap ki marzi!
albatta, agar 'vajood' ki ba-jaaye 'vujood' kahaa jaaye to kam-az-kam
ham jaise
be-raah-ravoN ki neeNd to haraam na ho! :-))
> saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
> ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
bahut Khoob she'r hai --- magar Khoob se Khoob-tar ho jaaye agar
ham ko ---> jab k!
> kaash maiN bhii kah sakuuN ik sher :Abid: is tarah
> jaise :Ghalib: ne kahe yaa :DaaGh: ne yaa :Meer: ne
maqta bahut Khoob hai --- albatta, how about
is tarah ---> us tarah, ------ kiyooN-ke hamaare esaatezaa-e-karaam
daur-e-maazi ke haiN!
In passing, a wild suggestion (haalaaaN-ke maiN Ustaad DaaGh ka bhi
mo'taqid hooN!)
kaash maiN bhi keh sakooN ik she'r Aabid (us) tarah
jaise Ghaalib ne kahe haiN yaa kahe haiN Meer ne!
meri haqeer raaye meiN, "zabaan" ke lihaaz se yeh tarkeeb behtar rahe
gi --- aage aap ki marzi!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Sarwar Alam Raz
> i_a...@hotmail.com (Irfan 'Abid') wrote in message news:<632bac0b.02020...@posting.google.com>...
> > sarw...@yahoo.com (Sarwar Alam Raz) wrote in message news:<267193df.02020...@posting.google.com>...
>
> aap meraa pichhlaa Khat dekh kar soch rahe hoNge ki ye kyaa! na salaam
> na duaa, aur shuruua ho gaye! muaafii chaahtaa huuN. dar-asl jaldii
> meN thaa aur proof-reading meN maiN vaise bhii Khasaa gayaa guzraa
> huuN.
>
> niyaazmand,
> Irfan 'Abid'
Irfan saaheb: salaam bhalaa yeh bhee ko.ee baat hu.ee! qalam se
naheeN likhaa, dil meiN to thaa!! agar aap kaa Khayaal hai ke aap kee
is qism kee :safaa.ee: se main aa.inda aap ke kalaam ko :baKhsh
dooNgaa: aur tabsare se baaz aa.jaaooNgaa to, Hazzat, aisaa to
sochiyegaa bhee nahee! :))=
duaa.go
:Sarwar;
Sarwar Alam Raz
Irfan saaheb: aadaab
apne tabsare par aap ke Havaashee aur doosroN ke naam aap ke Khutoot
ba.Ghor paRhe. fardan fardan har baat ko zer.e.beHs laana
teHseel.e.laa.Haasil hai, albatta chand nikaat pesh.e.Khidmat haiN.
aap meraa andaaz.e.bayaan samajhte haiN chunaanche Ghalat.fehmee kaa
imkaan naheeN hai:Hisaab.e.dostaaN dar dil!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > > Ghazal
> > darj hai jo haath meiN, haaN haaN, usee teHreer ne
> > kyaa kaheN, kaisaa rulaayaa hai hameN taqdeer ne!
> is sher par kuchh vazaahat Rajiv Sb ko apne javaab meN likhii hai. aap
> ne jo badal tajviiz kiyaa hai, bahut pasand aayaa. taaham ek kamii
> nazar aayii. haath meN to ham Khud bhii kuchh darj kar sakte haiN
> (haalaaNki is kaa imkaan kam hii hai) lihaazah maiN :qudrat: kaa zikr
> zaruurii samajhtaa huuN. bahar-haal, is misre par maziid Ghaur
> karuuNgaa.
yeh kyaa farmaayaa k :ham Khud bhee (haath meiN) kuChh darj kar sakte
haiN!:? haath kee lakeereN :qudrat: kee hee hotee haiN, is liye
:qudrat: kaa istaimaal zarooree naheeN hai. Rajiv aur Zafar saahebaan
ko aap ne jo mufassil tashreeHaat likheeN haiN un ke baGhair agar sher
mubham reh jaa.e to nazar.e.saanee kaa mustaHiq There.gaa!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > > raaz-e-dil apnaa bataa deNge tumheN bhii ek din
> > > jo zabaaN aazaad kar dii sharm kii zanjeer ne
> > > aap kyoN naadim haiN meraa Khuun bahtaa dekh kar
> > > zulm to dar-asl Dhaayaa aap kii shamsheer ne
> > > ai tabeeb! ab tujh ko aane kii zaruuart hii nahiiN
> > > dard kaa aadii kiyaa ham ko tirii taaKheer ne
------------------------------------------------------------------
aap kaa agar yehee Khayaal hai jo aap ne muKhtalif logoN ko likhaa hai
to bis.millah! muKhtasaran yooN k agar sher ko aise hee tafseelee
:deebaache: kee zaroorat hai to us ko dobaara dekh lenaa mustaHsin
hogaa!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> > > kuchh shikastaa Khvaab haiN aur ik thakaa haaraa vajuud
> > > kyaa diyaa hai aarzuu-e-shuhrat-o-tauqeer ne
> >
>
> yahaaN yuuN samajh liijiye ki :muNh kaa mazaa badalne ke liye:
> ishq-o-muhabbat se haT kar kuchh dunyaavii masaail kaa zikr kiyaa hai.
> aaKhir hamaarii hasratoN men ye bhii to shaamil hai ki ham dunyaa meN
> surKhruu hoN, mash_huur hoN aur izzatdaar hoN. is ke liye ham koshaaN
> bhii rahte haiN, lekin is koshish meN kitne logoN ko kaamyaabii miltii
> hai!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
maiN aap kaa mud.daa samajhtaa hooN. chaliye :munh kaa maza badal
leejiye:! lekin kal ko yeh eHsaas sataaye k aik Khoobsoorat misra
zaa.e gayaa to phir fikr karne meiN ta.ammul na keejiyegaa!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> > > saamne paa kar tujhe hogaa hamaaraa haal kyaa
> > > ham ko deevanaa banaa Daalaa tirii tasveer ne
. Ghaur kiijiye ki aap ke
> tajviiz-kardah misre meN ye lafz nahiiN hai aur us meN qadre ibhaam
> kii gunjaaish bhii hai (yaanii aisaa mahsuus hotaa hai jaise :Khudaa
> ko saamne paane: kii baat ho rahii ho). albataa duusre misre ko :dekh:
> se shuruua karne kaa Khayaal buraa nahiiN!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:Khudaa ko saamne paane kee baat:????? ma.loom naheeN yeh kahaaN se
aap ne matlab nikaal liyaa! meraa matlab to is qadar seedha thaa k us
ko vaazeH karnaa Ghair.zarooree ma.loom hotaa hai. aap behtar samajhte
haiN!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Sarwar Sb, kotaahii kaa to koii savaal hii nahiiN hai. mujhe to
ghar
> baiThe muft meN dars mil rahaa hai jis ke liye mujhe aap kaa
> shukr-guzaar honaa chaahiye aur jo main huuN. aap ke mashviroN aur
> qadr-daanii kaa shukriya!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
bhaa.ee! yahaaN ko.ee kisee ko dars dene kaa ahl kahaaN hai? yeh to
dostoN kee meHfil hai jahaaN ham aik doosre se seekhne kee koshish
karte haiN. mujh ko kaaNtoN meiN na ghaseeteN: ae buaa! bakraa
laNdooraa hee bhalaa hai!!
iraadat kaish
Sarwar Raz :Sarwar:
Irfan 'Abid'
> i_a...@hotmail.com (Irfan 'Abid') wrote in message news:<632bac0b.02020...@posting.google.com>...
>
R K Sb, aadaab!
>
> My-o-my, Irfaan Sahib:
>
> yaqeen jaaniye, aap ki Gahzal ka to yahaaN par voh haal huaa hai jo k
> Khudaa-e-bartar hamaari na'ash ki bhi naheeN kare ga! na jaane,
> yaar-dostoN ne ise kaun se 'adabi taraazoo' meiN tolaa hai k (dabi
> zabaan meiN) ise 'naaqis-ul-udabaa' qaraar diya hai......maiN to,
> huzoor, yihi kahooN ga k
> "Allaah kare zor-e-SITAM aur ziyaaah"!
>
ha! ha! aap ne duaa Khuub maaNgii hai! jee chaahtaa hai :aameen: kah
duuN, lekin Dartaa huuN qubuul na ho jaaye! :-)) sach to ye hai ki
tanqiid (even tanqiis) mukammal Khaamoshii se kahiiN bahtar hai.
aaKhir :kuchh to halchal ho mire shahr ke sannaaToN meN:. phir is meN
meraa hii faaidah hai. aap sab ke tabsire koii na koii nayaa
:baab-e-hikmat: kholte haiN. albataa ek baat zaruur mahsuus huii ki
maiN kuchh josh meN aur kuchh ahtiraaman apne tafakkur kii zaraa
ziyaadah hii tafsiil faraaham kar diyaa kartaa huuN, jo amuuman besuud
hotii hai. ye baat thoRii yuuN bhii maayuus-kun hai ki aajkal kuchh
likhne-paRhne ke liye ek ek lamhe ko :stretch: karnaa paRtaa hai.
dar-asl har fann kii tarah shaairii kaa taalluq bhii dil se hai. sher
agar qaarii ko bhaa gayaa to bhaa gayaa, varnaa tafsiil-o-tashriih se
baat nahiiN bantii. Khair…
>
> albatta, Zafar Saahib ka yeh kehna k lafz "shamsheer" pe is se kaheeN
> behtar baNdisheN zuhoor-pazeer ho sakti haiN --- koi Ghalat-bayaanii
> naheeN hai; misaal ke taur paar, aap apne marGhoob shaa'ir
> janaab-e-Qais ka yeh she'r dekhiye; farmaate haiN k
>
> mujrim tumhaare ishq ka kuchh saKht-jaaN sa hai!
> kiyooN kaaNptii hai aap ki shamsheer, dekhnaa!!!
>
vaah! kyaa baat hai! meraa Khayaal hai ye jis Ghazal kaa sher hai vo
aap ne kuchh arsah pahle post kii thii.
> azeez-e-man, yeh hai aNdaaz rooz-e-avval ke deevaanoN ka!
> magar, aap chooN-ke abhi tak "hosh-maNd" haiN, is liye aap ke liye
> aisi Kharaabaat fil-haal door-az-door haiN! :-)) as well as :-((
>
bajaa farmaate haiN! ye :tevar: paane ke liye lagtaa hai :hosh khonaa:
hii paRegaa! :-))
>
> Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
aap ne Ghazal meN jo pasand farmaayaa, us ke liye bahad ahsaanmand
huuN. aap ke mashvire bhii hameshaa kii tarah faaidahmand haiN.
shukriya!
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Zafar
> bhii?:-)lagtaa hai abhii ishq se aap kaa paalaa nahiiN paRaa varnaa
> :rangiiniyoN: aur :takleef: kaa rabt aap ke ilm meN hotaa. bhaaii,
> avval avval jab ishq kaa jazbaa jaagtaa hai to baRe haseen Khvaab aate
> haiN, jaise baaGhoN aur bahaaroN ke, mahbuub kii zulfoN ke, ek tanhaa
> goshe ke jahaaN sirf aap hoN, mahbuub ho aur teesraa koii na ho,
> vaGhairah vaGhairah. phir haqeeqat se vaastaa paRtaa hai aur tasveer
> kaa duusraa ruKh nazar aataa hai yaanii dunyaa kii nuktaacheenii, dil
> kii bechainii and above all mahbuub ke sitam (read naKhre). ummiid hai
> rabt ab aap par vaazah ho gayaa hgaa :-))
are saahib, ham to bas ye kahte the k "rangeenee" aur "takleef" kaa
rabt e ma'akoos "direct" naheeN (mas'alan "bai-rangee" yaa isee qism
kaa ko'ee aur lafz ho to ham kaheN ge ye "rangeenee" kaa opposite
hai). aap to samajhte hee haiN k is se muraad ye naheeN thee k aap ke
she'er meN ko'ee Khaamee hai. doosree baat ye k mujhe aik "baareek"
nuktaa samjhaane ke liye aap ne pooraa daftar raqm kar Daalaa. (ye
mahaz is liye arz kar rahaa hooN k mujhe ma'aloom hai aap kaa waqt
kitnaa qeematee hai.) maanaa k ham itne "buzurg e baaraaN deeda"
naheeN haiN lekin chand moTee moTee baateN to hameN bhee idhar udhar
se pataa chal hee jaatee haiN :))
'Qais' saahib ne "shamsheer" par apne aik she'er kaa hawaalaa diyaa
hai. un kee Khidmat meN dast badasta arz hai k baat "shamsheer" ke
mazmoon ko Khoobee se baandhne kee naheeN ho rahee thee (ye kaam ka'ee
sau saal pehle hee ho chukaa hai, masalan "zair e shamsheer e
sitam...") balke shamsheer ke mazmoon ko "na'e" Dhang se baandhne kee
baat arz kee ga'ee thee. aur na'e mazmoon ye faqeer kuchh ye muraad
letaa hai:
maiN bikhar jaa'ooN gaa zanjeer kee kaReeoN kee tarah
aur reh jaa'e ge is dasht meN jhankaar miree
zehr bhee kal na mile gaa tujhe marne ke liye
aa ke mar le k abhee taiz hai "talwaar" miree!!!
agar ye she'er pasand naheeN aayaa to ye dekhiye:
uRaa Ghubaar na maujood naqsh e paa hai ko'ee
guzar gayaa hai idhar se ye kaarwaaN kaisaa
diyaa hai "taiGh" e taGhaaful kaa waar agar Khaalee
to shaaKh e dil pe hai ye zaKhm kaa nishaaN kaisaa?
naheeN? agar ab bhee naheeN to aik Ghazal kaa ye TukRaa mulaahiza
farmaaiye:
sar pe aa jaa'e to bhar jaa'e dhunwaaN saansoN meN
door se dekhte rahiye to ghaTaa lagtee ho
phaRphaRaataa ho siah shaaKh meN uljhaa huwaa chaand
chaandnee aks ko'ee uRtaa huwaa lagtee ho
chashma e chashm e rawaaN ho k miTe piyaas kaa naqsh
rozan e zaKhm khulaa ho k hawaa lagtee ho
aisee "talwaar" andhere meN chalaa'ee jaa'e
k kujaa chaahte hoN aur kujaa lagtee ho!!!!
mere Khayaal se maiN bhee andhere meN teer chalaa rahaa hooN, is liye
ijaazat,
Zafar