Ghazal: meraa jaanaa na hu'aa, aap kaa aanaa na hu'aa!
Sarwar Alam Raz
aik Ghazal Haazir.e.Khidmat hai. dekhiye k kisee qaabil hai bhee k
naheeN. iss Ghazal per yeh kehnaa saadiq aataa hai k:
Ghazal hai yeh jab kee k :Sarwar: javaaN thaa!
goyaa yeh Haal kee kahee hu'ee naheeN hai! agar Ghazal kee umr
bataa'ooN gaa to aap meree umr kaa Hisaab karne beTh jaayeN ge! iss
meiN na to ko'ee muzaa'iqa hai aur na hee mujh ko ko'ee e'tiraaz hee
hai! lekin iss se shaayad Ghazal kaa mazaa (agar iss meiN ko'ee mazaa
hai to!) kirkiraa ho jaaye gaa! lihaaza iss guzaarish per yeh
jumla.e.mu'tariza Khatm kartaa hooN k Ghazal per izhaar.e.raa'e karnaa
na bhooliye gaa!
zabaan.e.she'r meiN a'e :Raz: dil kee baat kehtaa hooN
ko'ee ab be.hunar samjhe mujhe yaa nukta.daaN samjhe! (Raz
Chandpuri)
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
===========================================================
GHAZAL:
meraa jaanaa na hu'aa, aap kaa aanaa na hu'aa
baat itnee thee magar uss pe yeh afsaanaa hu'aa!
jaan deney meiN mujhe uzr naheeN hai lekin
haaN! agar phir bhee mire Gham kaa madaavaa na hu'aa?
gir gayaa hogaa luhoo aaNkh se anjaane meiN
varna kab ham ko tiraa dard gavaaraa na hu'aa?
zaKhm.e.dil, Khoon.e.jigar, zaKhm.e.alam, Khoon.e.umeed!
daaman apnaa kabhee sharminda.e.giryaa na hu'aa!
thee Khabar chaar taraf teree maseeHaa'ee kee
kyooN tiraa Gham mire Haq meiN hee maseeHaa na hu'aa?
ishq meiN roz nayaa raNj ho, aisaa to hu'aa
aur mushkil ko'ee Hal ho, kabhee aisaa na hu'aa!
luT gaye jaan.o.jigar, sabr.o.sukoon.o.eemaaN
too bataa! teree alam.daaree meiN kyaa kyaa na hu'aa?
teraa ban'ne kee kashaa.kash meiN hu'ee shaam.e.Hayaat
Gham to yeh hai k isee Gham meiN Khud apnaa na hu'aa!
:Sarwar:.e.sauKhta.saamaaN kee shikaayat kaisee?
uss ko kab hoash hai? deevaanaa to deevaanaa huaa!
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Jameel Faraz
aapki yeh Ghazal bhi bohat achhee dikhi. jis tarah sharaaboN meN
'Bordeaux' puraani achhee hoti hai, aur 'Beajolais' naayi , isi tarah
aapki puraani aur taaza ghazloN ka maza bhi juda juda hai. :-))
mujhko to har sher achha dikha is liye koi ek nahiN dohraaoNga, lekin
aapki ijaazat se ek adh sawaal uThaaya jaaye. aapke umoomi me'aar se
yeh sher mujhko kamzor laga:
ishq meiN roz nayaa raNj ho, aisaa to hu'aa
aur mushkil ko'ee Hal ho, kabhee aisaa na hu'aa!
agar munaasib samjheN to mere liye iski mazeed wazaahat farmaaye ga.
aur doosra sawaal hai lafz "alam.daaree" ke bare meN. iski koi aur
misaal aapki nazar meN ho to inaayat farmaaye.
baaqi har baat hasb-e-mamool umda hai. maqta bohat pasand aaya.
faizmand ... Jameel Faraz
Sarwar Alam Raz
> janaab Sarwar saaheb, aadaab arz.
>
> aapki yeh Ghazal bhi bohat achhee dikhi. jis tarah sharaaboN meN
> 'Bordeaux' puraani achhee hoti hai, aur 'Beajolais' naayi , isi tarah
> aapki puraani aur taaza ghazloN ka maza bhi juda juda hai. :-))
muHibbee Faraz saaheb: aadaab arz hai!
Ghazal umoomee taur se aap ko pasand aa'yee! yeh mere liye
baa'is.e.sad.iftiKhaar hai. shukriya! aap ne nayee aur puraanee
sharaab kee misaal se mujh ko jo kuChh samjhaane kee koshish kee hai
uss kaa zikr to zaroor sunaa hai lekin kabhee amalee tajriba naheeN
hu'aa hai! aap keh rahe haiN to sach hee keh rahe hoN ge! :-))
jee haaN yeh Ghazal bohat puraanee hai aur Haaliya GhazaloN se iss ke
raNg kaa alag honaa ain iqtizaa.e.fitrat hai! iss se to aap bhee
mut'tafiq hon ge k umr, mushaahidaat, tajribaat aur zindigee ke jumla
taqaaze her shaKhs ko muta'assir karte haiN aur in kaa asar shaa'iree
per bhee muntabiq honaa naa.guzeer hai!
-----------------------------------------------------
:aapke umoomi me'aar se yeh sher mujhko kamzor laga:
>
> ishq meiN roz nayaa raNj ho, aisaa to hu'aa
> aur mushkil ko'ee Hal ho, kabhee aisaa na hu'aa!
>
> agar munaasib samjheN to mere liye iski mazeed wazaahat farmaaye ga.:
she'r meiN aisaa ko'ee pech naheeN dikhaa'ee diyaa k tashreeH.talab
ho. seedhaa saadaa hai. agar aap ke zehn meiN ko'ee savaal hai to
vazaaHat ke ba'd javaab dene kee koshish kar saktaa hooN. yooN yeh
she'r to aisaa kamzor naheeN hai lekin agar aap ko aisaa hee nazar
aayaa hai to yooN hee sahee! ham bhee tasleem kee Khoo DaaleN ge! :-))
aik shaa'ir kee Haisiyyat se aap ba.Khoobee vaaqif haiN k kisee kaa
bhee her she'r aik hee ma'yaar kaa hamesha naheeN ho saktaa hai. aur
yeh bhee zarooree naheeN hai k apne kisee she'r kee :kamzoree: ayaaN
ho jaane ke ba'd shaa'ir uss ko Ghazal se Khaarij kar de! agar
gustaaKhee na samjhee jaaye to yahaaN Mir aur Ghalib kee misaal denaa
naa.munaasib naheeN hogaa. dekhiye Mirza Ghalib kyaa kehte haiN:
sabza.o.gul kahaaN se aaye haiN?
abr kyaa cheez hai, havaa kyaa hai?
mujh ko yaqeen hai k yeh she'r Ghalib ke umoomee ma'yaaar se bohat hee
giraa huaa maan'ne meiN aap ko ta'ammul naheeN hogaa. aur reh gaye Mir
Taqi Mir to un ke muta'alliq to yeh raa'e dee gayee hai k :pastash
ba.Ghaayat past.o.balandash ba.Ghaayat baland ast: (un kaa past kalaam
bohat past aur baland bohat baland hai). ab aap hee farmeeyeN k maiN
:kiss khet kee moolee hooN: k iss soorat.e.Haal se bach nikaltaa?
-----------------------------------------------------------
:aur doosra sawaal hai lafz "alam.daaree" ke bare meN. iski koi aur
> misaal aapki nazar meN ho to inaayat farmaaye.:
:alam.daaree: = Hukoomat, iKhtiyaar to aam lafz hai. bad.qismatee se
iss vaqt iss kee ko'ee misaal zehn meiN naheeN hai. agar nazar aa
gayee to Haazir karooN gaa. vaise iss meiN aap ko kyaa baat nazar
aa'ee jo savaal kaa baa'is hu'ee?
iraadat kesh
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Zafar
Jameel saahib ne aap kee Ghazal ke baare meN baRee Khoobee se
"puraanee sharaab" kaa baleeGh fiqra istemaal kiyaa hai. is tashbeeh
meN meree taraf se "puraane chaaval" bhee shaamil kar leeji'ye, k
sunaa hai vo bhee puraanee sharaab kaa hukm rakhte haiN! :) aur vaise
bhee kisee hakeem kaa qaul hai k science meN na'yee se na'yee aur adab
meN puraanee se puraanee cheez umda hotee hai!
aap kee ijaazat se maiN aap ke is javaab par aik do baateN arz karnaa
chaahooN gaa, chooN k maqsood Khaalisatan ilmee aur adabee behs hai,
is li'ye tavaqqu rakhtaa hooN k iKhtilaaf e raa'ye kaa aap buraa
naheeN manaa'yeN ge:
> aik shaa'ir kee Haisiyyat se aap ba.Khoobee vaaqif haiN k kisee kaa
> bhee her she'r aik hee ma'yaar kaa hamesha naheeN ho saktaa hai. aur
> yeh bhee zarooree naheeN hai k apne kisee she'r kee :kamzoree: ayaaN
> ho jaane ke ba'd shaa'ir uss ko Ghazal se Khaarij kar de! agar
> gustaaKhee na samjhee jaaye to yahaaN Mir aur Ghalib kee misaal denaa
> naa.munaasib naheeN hogaa. dekhiye Mirza Ghalib kyaa kehte haiN:
>
> sabza.o.gul kahaaN se aaye haiN?
> abr kyaa cheez hai, havaa kyaa hai?
>
> mujh ko yaqeen hai k yeh she'r Ghalib ke umoomee ma'yaaar se bohat hee
> giraa huaa maan'ne meiN aap ko ta'ammul naheeN hogaa.
quzishta se paivasta hafte ke din Halqa e Arbab e Zauq, Islamabad, kaa
ijlaas huvaa, jis kaa mauzoo' thaa, "Ghalib aur Ilaahiyaat". us meN
Ghalib-shinaasoN ne mauzoo' e mazkoora ke har pehloo par Khoob Khoob
daad e tehqeeq dee. ye Khaak-basar bhee us mehfil meN maujood thaa,
"chup reh na sakaa" (aur agarche ko'yee tayyaaree naheeN thee), chand
TooTe phooTe alfaaz kahne kee jasaarat kar baiThaa, jin kaa lub e
lubaab paish e Khidmat hai:
"Ghalib se pehle tamaam Urdu (aur Subak-Hindi) shu'araa kaa tasavvur e
kaa'inaat bahut vaazih aur shaffaaf thaa. ye tasavvur unheN Islami
rivaayat se milaa thaa (ye rivaayat kaise tashkeel huvee aur kin kin
maraahil se guzree, vo aik alag behs hai). is tasavvur meN insaan kaa
duniyaa meN maqaam, martaba aur maqsad mua'yyeen thaa aur jis meN
kisee "chooN? chiraa?" kee gunjaa'ihs naheeN thee.
Ghalib Urdu kaa *pehlaa* shaa'ir hai jis ke haaN tashkeek kaa unsar
nazar aataa hai. Ghalib vo *pehlaa* shaa'ir hai jo savaal uThaataa
hai, jo ash'iyaa ko, insaan ke kaa'inaat meN maqaam ko, kaa'inaat ke
muKhtalif mazaahir ke baare meN raaij nazariyaat ko "challenge" kartaa
hai. is haqeeqat kee sab se baRee gavaahee un ke deevaan ke sarnaame
kaa she'er hee de detaa hai:
naqsh fariyaadee hai *kis* kee shauKhee e tehreer kaa????"
maiN ne us behs ke dauraan mash'hoor Ghazal "dil e naadaaN" se ka'yee
misaaleN dee theeN (jo pooree kee pooree savaaliyaa hai), jis meN ye
she'er bhee shaamil thaa
> sabza.o.gul kahaaN se aaye haiN?
> abr kyaa cheez hai, havaa kyaa hai?
aap is ko "Ghalib ke umoomee ma'yaar se bahut giraa huvaa" she'er keh
sakte haiN, lekin mujhe to ye mehsoos hotaa hai k ye she'er -- aur is
se milte julte doosre ash'aar -- Ghalib ke falsafa e shaa'iree o
zindagee ke buniyaadee patthar kee haisiyat rakhte haiN. meree naaqis
raa'ye meN Ghalib se pehle ko'yee aur Urdu shaa'ir ye she'er naheeN
keh saktaa thaa ... hatta k Mir bhee naheeN! kis vaaste? k Mir
kaa'inaat meN insaan kee bai-tauqeeree kaa ronaa to yaqeena rotaa hai,
jaise
majlis e aafaaq meN parvaana saaN
Mir bhee shaam apnee sahar kar gayaa
lekin ye kabhee naheeN huvaa k Mir is "agnositicism" kaa shikaar huve
hoN k aaKhir ye shaam kyaa cheez hotee hai aur sahar kyaa shai hai?
> aur reh gaye Mir Taqi Mir to un ke muta'alliq to yeh raa'e dee gayee hai
> k :pastash
> ba.Ghaayat past.o.balandash ba.Ghaayat baland ast: (un kaa past kalaam
> bohat past aur baland bohat baland hai). ab aap hee farmeeyeN k maiN
> :kiss khet kee moolee hooN: k iss soorat.e.Haal se bach nikaltaa?
aap ne (naam liye baGhair) Nawab Mustafa KhaaN 'Shaifta' kaa jo qaul
paish kiyaa hai, us ke silsile meN do baateN mahal e nazar haiN:
pehlee to ye k Shaifta bechaare ne to ye kahaa hee naheeN thaa! us ne
to apne tazkira e shu'araa, "Gulshan e BaiKhaar" meN likhaa thaa (aur
vo bhee Sadrud Din 'Azurda' ke havaale se) k
"pastash agarche andak past ast, ammaa bulandash bisiyaar buland"
doosree baat hai k Shaifta konsaa aisaa "arsh se TooTaa huvaa taaraa"
hai k ham Urdu se sab se baRe shaa'ir (arguably!) ke baare meN us kee
baat aankheN band kar ke tasleem kar leN??? yaqeen jaani'ye ye aik
"myth" hai k Mir ke haaN past ash'aar haiN. Mir kee kuliyaat ko un
usooloN kee raushnee meN paRhiye jin usooloN ko mad e nazar rakhte
huve Mir ne she'er kahe the. ye dekhiye k Mir ke zamaane meN "umda
she'er" kaa kyaa paimaana muqarrar thaa, Mir kaa tasavvur e fan kyaa
thaa (vG, vG), aur phir dekhiye kyaa hotaa hai!
maiN yahaaN "meenaar e ilm o adab" janaab SR Faruqi ke havaale (Shab
Khoon, 264, Jan 2003) se likhtaa hooN k Mir kee pooree kuliyaat meN
Dheelee yaa sust bandish vaalaa aik she'er bhee naheeN mile gaa, na
ko'yee aisaa she'er jis meN aik misra bahut a'ala ho aur doosraa
phusphusaa, na ko'yee do-laKht she'er nazar aa'ye gaa, bhartee kaa
lafz Mir ke haaN bahut kaavish se kaheeN mile to mile, aur kam
ravaanee vaalaa she'er to saaree umr DhoonDte rahi'ye, Mir ke haaN
naheeN mile gaa!
aadaab arz hai,
Zaf
Jameel Faraz
mere sawaaloN ki wazaahat ka shukriya. un sawaaloN se merea maqsad
ae'teraaz nahiN tha, lekin chooNke Khud aapke me'yaar se aapka woh
sher mujhko nisbatan kamzor laga to yeh soNcha ke is meN Khud meri kam
fehmi ko bhi daKhl ho sakta hai. Is liye aap se wazahat ki darKhwast
kee thee. aapka yeh kehna bilkul durust hai ke Ghazal ka har sher to
ek hi me'yaar ka nahiN ho sakta.
Zafar saaheb ke 'comments' ke pesh-e-nazar ek do baateN jo mere zehn
meN bhi theeN woh likh raha hooN.
asaateza ke kalaam ko aajkal ki kisi kasautee se jaNchna to shaayad
Theek nahiN hai, lekin haqeeqat yeh hai ke jahaaN unka kalaam takniki
ae'tebaar se to umda hai wahaaN maani-afreeni ke ae'tebaar se kamzor
ashaar bhi anginat milte haiN. yahaaN misaaleN likhne ki na jagah hai
na mera haafeza itna achha hai. Sauda, Zauq, aur Daagh ke deewaanon
me beshumaar misaaleN maujood haiN. 'muqadema-e-sher-o-shaaeri' meN
Altaaf Husaain Hali ne kai misaaleN dee haiN (jinko maiN urdu ka pehla
taraqqi pasand adeeb manta hooN.
jahaaN tak Ghalib ke us sher ka taaluq hai, maiN Zafar saaheb ki is
baat se muttafiq hooN ke Hali se bhi pehle Ghalib ke aise istefhaamia
ashaar ek taraf to unki taraqqi pasandi ki daleel haiN, aur doosri
taraf in meN Ghalib ke zehn ka chul-bula-pan numaayaaN hai. us Ghazal
ka to har sher ek sawaal ki soorat hai.
aaKhir meN Khud unki zabaani:
hui muddat ke Ghalib mar gaya par yaad aata hai
woh har ek baat par kehna ke yooN hota to kiya hota?
faizmand ... Jameel Faraz
Sarwar Alam Raz
muHibbee Faraz saaheb: aadaab!
Hazzat! e'tiraaz kyaa ko'ee Ghalat baat hai yaa be.adabee ke
mutaraadif hai? aisaa meHsoos hu'aa jaise mere kisee fiqre se aap ko
Ghalat ta'assur milaa hai. aisee ko'ee baat naheeN hai. maiN muKhtasar
likhataa hooN to logoN ko Ghalat.fehmee hotee hai k maiN :khafaa:
hooN! adabee beHs.o.mubaaHise meiN faraaKh.dilee aur e'tidaal hee
mo'tabar haiN. maiN koshish to kartaa hooN k iss usool per kaar.band
rahooN lekin be.iraada agar mukHtalif ta'assur numaayaaN ho jaaye to
chashm.poshee iKhtiyaar kar liyaa kareN. mamnoon hooN gaa!
maiN aap se aur Zafar saaheb se Ghalib kee uss :taraqqee.pasandee: ke
baare meiN mut'tafiq naheeN hooN jiss ko unhoN ne saabit karne kee
koshish kee hai! iss silsile meiN kal tak aik mufassil teHreer yahaaN
pesh karooN gaa. dekh leejiye gaa. shukriya!
Sarwar A. Raz
Sarwar Alam Raz
> janaab e Sarwar saahib:
>
> Jameel saahib ne aap kee Ghazal ke baare meN baRee Khoobee se
> "puraanee sharaab" kaa baleeGh fiqra istemaal kiyaa hai. is tashbeeh
> meN meree taraf se "puraane chaaval" bhee shaamil kar leeji'ye, k
> sunaa hai vo bhee puraanee sharaab kaa hukm rakhte haiN! :) aur vaise
> bhee kisee hakeem kaa qaul hai k science meN na'yee se na'yee aur adab
> meN puraanee se puraanee cheez umda hotee hai!
>
> aap kee ijaazat se maiN aap ke is javaab par aik do baateN arz karnaa
> chaahooN gaa, chooN k maqsood Khaalisatan ilmee aur adabee behs hai,
> is li'ye tavaqqu rakhtaa hooN k iKhtilaaf e raa'ye kaa aap buraa
> naheeN manaa'yeN ge:
mukarramee Zafar saaheb: tasleemaat!
aap kaa Khat dekh kar bohat hee Khushee hu'ee! aaj kal alup per
pazhmurdagee see taaree hai. sabab to mujh ko naheeN ma'loom hai,
lekin yeh soorat.e.Haal tashveek.naak to zaroor hai. Khair! mumkin hai
k yeh soorat aarzee saabit ho aur meHfil kee puraanee raunaq phir
vaapas aa jaa'ye.
aap ne :puraane chaavaloN: kaa jo zikr kiyaa hai uss se to maiN Khoob
hee vaaqif hooN bal.k iss maidaan meiN zaatee tajriba bhee rakhtaa
hooN! albatta nayee aur puraanee sharaab ke muta'alliq ma'loomaat kaa
zari'a aap aur Jameel Faraz saaheb jaise :maahireen: ke alaava doosraa
ko'ee naheeN hai!
aap ne jo :iKhtilaaf.e.raa'e: aur uss ke Havaale se :buraa maan'ne:
kaa tazkira kiyaa hai to, Hazzat! bhalaa iss kee kyaa zaroorat thee?
sanjeeda aur ta'meeree adabee beHs kaa to maiN ne hamesha hee
Khair.maqdam kiyaa hai aur iss ko adab.o.she'r ke Haq meiN aik
naik.faal jaantaa hooN. aap mutma'in raheN aur baraabar apnee raa'e
aur tabsare se surKhroo karte raheN. yeh to va'da naheeN hai k aap se
hamesha mut'tafiq hooN gaa lekin yeh yaqeenee hai k aap ke dalaa'il
Ghaur se sunooN gaa aur un per apnee sochee.samjhee raa'e dooN gaa!
inshaa.Allah!
aap ne Ghalib kee shaa'iree ke baare meiN jin Khayaalaat kaa zikr
kiyaa hai voh ko'ee naye naheeN haiN. jaisaa k aap bhee iss se qabl
isee chaupaal meiN likh chuke haiN log iss qism kee Khayaal.aaraa'ee
pehle bhee kar chuke haiN aur ab bhee kar rahe haiN!
mujh ko Khoob yaad hai k muddat hu'ee aik saaheb ne Ghalib kee
Ghazaliyaat se jadeed science ke tamaam usool nikaalne kee koshish kee
thee! maslan Ghalib kaa aik she'r hai:
zo'f se girya mubaddal.ba.dam.e.sard hu'aa
baavar aayaa hameN paanee kaa havaa ho jaanaa
un saaheb ne iss she'r kee tashreeH meiN yeh saabit karne kee koshish
kee thee k Ghalib ko :steam power: aur uss ke nateeje meiN zaahir hone
vaale san'atee inqilaab (industrial revolution) kaa na sirf idraak
thaa bal.k voh uss ke rumooz.o.imkaanaat ko apnee baseerat se kaamil
taur se dekh bhee chuke the! iss qism kee laa.taa'il aur bema'nee
baatoN se voh mazmoon bharaa huaa thaa.
yeh tareeq.e.fikr aap ke tareeq.e.fikr se kuChh aisaa muKhtalif naheeN
hai. bechaare Ghalib ne to Khwaab meiN bhee voh naheeN sochaa hogaa jo
un ke :shaareHeeN: ne un se mansoob kiyaa hai! yeh taqreeban vohee
tareeq.e.istidlaal hai jo aaj ke Hindustaan ke chand :ahl.e.ilm: yeh
saabit karne ke liye istaimaal karte haiN k Ramayana aur Mahabharat
meiN jauharee aslaHa (nuclear arms) aur Khalaa'ee :rockets: kaa zikr
maujood hai kyoN.k yeh sab uss zamaane meiN musta'mil the! bar.eeN
aql.o.daanish be baayad gireest!
abhee Haal hee meiN Urdustan ne mujh ko Rizwan Inayati saaheb kee aik
dilchasp taaleef :tafheem.e.Ghalib ba.soorat.e.Khamsa: bhejee hai. iss
kitaabche meiN faazil mu'allif ne Ghalib ke ash'aar se aise aise
guhar.e.naayaab DhhooND nikaale haiN k Ghalib kee rooH jhoom jhoom
uThee hogee! unhoN ne yeh da'va kiyaa hai k ab tak ke sab
shaareHeeN.e.Ghalib un kee shaa'iree kee teh ko poNhach hee naheeN
sake haiN aur yeh sharaf sirf Inayati saaheb ko hee Haasil hu'aa hai!
maiN apne bayaan kee vazaaHat aur iss maKhsoos andaaz.e.fikr kee
saraaHat ke liye iss kitaabche se chand iqtibaasaat lafz.ba.lafz darj
kartaa hooN. herchand k iss se yeh mazmoon Khaasa taveel ho jaaye gaa
lekin aisaa karnaa zarooree bhee ma'loom hotaa hai.
-------------------------------------------------
:yeh baat bhee ab Haqeeqat hai k aaj bhee uss (i.e. Ghalib) ko
samajhne aur pechaan'ne vaaloN meiN voh istitaa'itee ma'yaar naheeN
aayaa hai k jo Ghalib ke uloo'e.fikr ke mutaabiq ho. ba'z
ulama'.e.Urdu ne Ghalib kee zindigee meiN bhee aur uss ke ba'd aaj tak
un ke kalaam kee tafheemaat aur tashreeHaat keeN aur apne fehm ke
mutaabib giraheN kholne kee koshisheN keeN. lekin ziyaada.tar Hazraat
luGhavee ma'nee hee bayaan karte rahe. bohat kam unkee isti'aaraatee
ma'naviyyat ko poNhach sake. ya'nee un ke kalaam mein jo pas.e.alfaaz
ma'aanee posheeda haiN un tak rasaa'ee na paa sake.:
:Mirza farmaate haiN k:
zam.zam hee pe ChhoRo mujhe kyaa tauf.e.Haram se
aalooda ba ma'e jaama.e.iHraam bohat hai
iss she'r kaa pehlaa misra' apne alfaaz ke daa'ire meiN hai k baat
zam.zam tak to Theek hai k usse peene meiN faa'ida hai. lekin iss kaa
doosraa misra' isti'aare kee quvvat se pur hai k tawaaf.e.Haram jaa'iz
zaraa'e.e.aamadnee se honaa chaahiye k yeh muqaddas fareeza
maal.e.Haraam ya'nee rishvat, sood, Daakey, Ghaban aur
Khufiya.faroshee ke maal se naheeN kiyaa jaa saktaa.
:aalooda ba ma'e jaama.e.iHraam bohat hai: maHz fiqahee muaa'mila
naheeN hai k sharaab meiN Doobey hu'e libaas se Haj jaa'iz naheeN hai
bal.k she'r kaa misra.e.saanee aik rausahn zameer kee talbi'eh hai k
Khudaa.e.zul.jalaal ke ghar jaane kaa intizaam maal.e.Haraam se hargiz
naheeN honaa chaahiye.
:jaama.e.iHraam ke aalooda ba ma'e hone meiN: maal.e.Haraam hee naheeN
bal.k voh nafsaanee uyoob bhee shaamil haiN jisse Haraam samajhne
vaaloN kee ta'daad aaTe meiN namak ke baraabar bhee naheeN hai, maslan
saazish aur joR.toR ke zari'e uhda.o.mansab Haasil karnaa, insaaf
karte vaqt zaatee pasand aur naa. pasand kaa Haa'il honaa, doosroN kee
kaamyaabioN aur khushiyoN se aazurda honaa, jo baat Khud aap ko
naa.pasand ho vohee baat doosroN ke liye chaahnaa, vaGhaira.:
:Mirza kee Ghazal kaa aik aur she'r mulaaHiza ho:
kaaNToN kee zabaaN sookh gayee pyaas se yaarab
ik aabla.paa vaadee.e.pur.Khaar meiN aave
Mirza kaa yeh she'r ma'aashare ke uss zavaal, pastee aur be.jehtee kee
jaanib vaazeH ishaara hai jiss kaa barr.e.saGheer sadiyoN se shikaar
chalaa aa rahaa thaa aur Khusoosan Muslim ma'aashara to bohat ziyaada
zuboon.o.zaar thaa. faraNgee aur deegar maGhribee taale'.aazmaa apnee
chustee, chaalaakee, nayee nayee sciensee eejaadaat aur
san'at.o.Harfat ke tufail apne HarboN se barr.e.saGheer kee un
quvvatoN per zarb lagaa rahe the jin meiN Nawab Sirajuddaula jaisaa
jaaN.baaz Hurriyat.pasand aur Teepu Sultan shaheed jo Husn.e.amal aur
Husn.e.seerat kaa shaahkaar the, jinhoN ne aazaadee kee Khaatir apnee
jaaneN nisaar kar deeN. aaKhir.e.kaar 1857 meiN naakaam
jaNg.e.aazaadee ke ba'd barr.e.saGheer per aNgrezoN kaa mukammal qabza
ho gayaa aur phir jo mazaalim Dhaaye gaye voh taareeKh kaa Hissa
haiN.:
:iss she'r meiN KaaNToN kee zabaan sookhnaa barr.e.saGheer ke voh
Ghulaam avaam haiN jo GhaasiboN ke aane ke ba'd se her e'itbaar se
zindigee ke lutf se meHroom ho gaye the. aise meiN shaa'ir du'aa
maaNgtaa hai k vaadee.e.pur.Khaar meiN ko'ee aabla.paa ya'nee aisee
shaKhsiyyat pedaa ho jo iss Ghulaamee se nijaat dilaa sake. Mirza ke
mazkoora she'r per meraa Khamsa mulaaHiza ho:
ruKhsat naheeN paataa kabhee meiN aas se yaarab
chaahe jo too ho mushk.e.Khutan ghaas se yaarab
le kaar.e.MaseeHaa too miree saaNs se yaarab
kaaNToN kee zabaaN sookh gayee pyaas se yaarab
ik aabla.paa vaadee.e.pur.Khaar meiN aave:
---------------------------------------
mujh ko iss qism kee :tashreeH: aur iss ke karne vaaloN per ko'ee
e'tiraaz naheeN hai. her shaKhs ko Haq hai k apnee raa'e mushakkal
kare aur uss kaa izhaar bhee kare, bilkul ussee taraH jaise mujh ko
yeh Haq hai k maiN aisee tilismaatee Khayaal.aaraa'ee ko yaksar
nazar.andaaz kar dooN!
jahaaN tak Mir yaa kisee aur shaa'ir kaa savaal hai to mujh ko yaqeen
hai k talaash karne se un ke yahaaN bhee aise ash'aar mil jaayeN ge
jin se shaa'ir ke yahaaN door.az.kaar :jadee: usooloN ke :idraak: kaa
javaaz muhai'yyaa kiyaa jaa saktaa hai. afsos k maiN Amreeka meiN hooN
jahaaN vasaa'il kaa fuqdaan hai varna misaaleN bhee de saktaa thaa.
zimnan yeh bhee arz kar dooN k Mir ke kalaam ke muta'alliq meraa
bayaan Molvi Abdul Haq kee taaleef :intiKhaab.e.kalaam.e.Mir: se liyaa
gayaa hai. vahaaN na sirf yeh usee shakl meiN diyaa gayaa hai jiss
meiN maiN ne likhaa hai (pastash ba.Ghaayat past.o.balansash
ba.Ghaayat baland ast) bal.k iss ko Molana Azurda se mansoob kiyaa
gayaa hai na k Shaifta se. apne vasaa'il kee raushanee meiN iss se
ziyaada aur kuChh kehnaa mere liye mumkin naheeN hai.
Mir ke baare meiN jiss Ghuloo se aap ne kaam liyaa hai aur jiss taraH
un ke kalaam ko tamaam.o.kamaal aGhlaat se paak aur munazzah qaraar
diyaa hai bohat hee Hairaan.kun hai. bhalaa yeh kiss taraH mumkin hai?
yooN aap kuChh bhee keh leN lekin ko'ee shaKhs aisaa ho hee naheeN
saktaa jiss kaa kalaam her liHaaz se mukammal ho. kyaa aap ko iss se
inkaar hai k Mir ne yeh naheeN kahaa hai k: usee attaar ke lauNDe se
davaa maaNgte haiN? aur agar yeh misra Mir kaa hee hai to iss ko bhee
aap un ke ma'yaaree aur a'laa ash'aar meiN hee shumaar kareN ge?
aap ne aik ajeeb baat likhee hai k :Shaifta kon saa aisaa :arsh se
TooTaa huaa taaraa: hai k ham Urdu ke sab se baRe shaa'ir ke baare
meiN un kee baat aaNkheN band kar ke tasleem kar leN?: maiN agar yeh
arz karooN k yeh baat to (janaab.e.Zafar kaa to kyaa zikr!- gustaaKhee
mu'aaf!) Khud :meenaar.e.ilm.o.adab: SR Faruqi saaheb ke baare meiN
bhee kahee jaa saktee hai, to aap buraa to naheeN maaneN ge? meraa
Khayaal hai k aisee raa'e se iHtiraaz hee munaasib hai. ziyaada
Hadd.e.adab!
iraadat.kesh
Sarwar A. Raz
Yashowanto N. Ghosh
aap kee yeh dilkash Ghazal dekhee---ek-ek she'r bahut Khoob
hai! ise yahaaN sunaane kaa bahut bahut shukriya.
matla' aur maqta' meiN ek dilchasp baat nazar aayee.---matle'
ke doosre misre' meiN qaafiya "afsaa" hai, aur radeef "na huaa"
ya'anee lafz "afsaana" ko toRnaa paR rahaa hai; isee tarH maqte'
meiN lafz "deevaana" ko toRnaa paR rahaa hai. Ghalib kee Ghazal
"dard minnat kash e davaa na huaa" meiN ek she'r hai jis se pataa
chaltaa hai k aisaa karnaa bilkul ravaa hai---"rahzanee hai k
dilsitaanee hai/le ke dil, dilsitaaN ravaana huaa"---lekin kyaa yeh
bahut aam hai?
sarw...@yahoo.com (Sarwar Alam Raz) wrote in message news:<267193df.03040...@posting.google.com>...
> yaaraan.e.bazm: tasleemaat!
>
> aik Ghazal Haazir.e.Khidmat hai. dekhiye k kisee qaabil hai bhee k
> naheeN. iss Ghazal per yeh kehnaa saadiq aataa hai k:
>
> Ghazal hai yeh jab kee k :Sarwar: javaaN thaa!
>
> goyaa yeh Haal kee kahee hu'ee naheeN hai! agar Ghazal kee umr
> bataa'ooN gaa to aap meree umr kaa Hisaab karne beTh jaayeN ge! iss
> meiN na to ko'ee muzaa'iqa hai aur na hee mujh ko ko'ee e'tiraaz hee
> hai! lekin iss se shaayad Ghazal kaa mazaa (agar iss meiN ko'ee mazaa
> hai to!) kirkiraa ho jaaye gaa! lihaaza iss guzaarish per yeh
> jumla.e.mu'tariza Khatm kartaa hooN k Ghazal per izhaar.e.raa'e karnaa
> na bhooliye gaa!
>
> zabaan.e.she'r meiN a'e :Raz: dil kee baat kehtaa hooN
> ko'ee ab be.hunar samjhe mujhe yaa nukta.daaN samjhe! (Raz
> Chandpuri)
>
> Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
> ===========================================================
>
> GHAZAL:
>
> meraa jaanaa na hu'aa, aap kaa aanaa na hu'aa
> baat itnee thee magar uss pe yeh afsaanaa hu'aa!
matla' bahut Khoob hai!
>
> jaan deney meiN mujhe uzr naheeN hai lekin
> haaN! agar phir bhee mire Gham kaa madaavaa na hu'aa?
>
> gir gayaa hogaa luhoo aaNkh se anjaane meiN
> varna kab ham ko tiraa dard gavaaraa na hu'aa?
>
> zaKhm.e.dil, Khoon.e.jigar, zaKhm.e.alam, Khoon.e.umeed!
> daaman apnaa kabhee sharminda.e.giryaa na hu'aa!
vaah! bahut achchaa she'r hai.
>
> thee Khabar chaar taraf teree maseeHaa'ee kee
> kyooN tiraa Gham mire Haq meiN hee maseeHaa na hu'aa?
>
> ishq meiN roz nayaa raNj ho, aisaa to hu'aa
> aur mushkil ko'ee Hal ho, kabhee aisaa na hu'aa!
VAAH!
>
> luT gaye jaan.o.jigar, sabr.o.sukoon.o.eemaaN
> too bataa! teree alam.daaree meiN kyaa kyaa na hu'aa?
Beautiful!
>
> teraa ban'ne kee kashaa.kash meiN hu'ee shaam.e.Hayaat
> Gham to yeh hai k isee Gham meiN Khud apnaa na hu'aa!
bahut Khoob!
>
> :Sarwar:.e.sauKhta.saamaaN kee shikaayat kaisee?
> uss ko kab hoash hai? deevaanaa to deevaanaa huaa!
>
VAAH!! maqta' sab se ziyaadah pasand aayaa.
aaKhir meiN yeh Khoobsoorat Ghazal sunaane kaa ek baar phir
shukriya. With best regards,
Jasho.
Zafar
aaj kal mehmal e zindagee lailaa e fursat se yaksar tihee hai, jis kee
binaa par javaab e "eeN" Ghazal dene meN ye taaKheer e naa guzeer
huvee. sad ma'azarat! is vaqt bhee ka'yee baRe zarooree kaamoN kaa
harj kar ke ye chand sutoor tehreer kar rahaa hooN k:
kaavish kaa dil kare hai taqaazaa k hai hanooz
naaKhun pe qarz us girah e neem-baaz kaa! :)
koshish karooN gaa k baat muKhtasar rahe.
maiN ne apnee pichhlee tehreer e bai-taaseer meN jo kuchh arz kiyaa
thaa, us kaa yooN Khulaasa kiyaa jaa saktaa hai:
1.
Ghalib kee shaa'iree meN istifhaam o tahayyur o tashkeek ke 'anaasir
paa'ye jaate haiN. aur ye k
2.
Ghalib se pehle kee Urdu shaa'iree meN ye anaasir is kasrat o
faraavaanee se naheeN paaye jaate.
is par aap farmaate haiN:
> aap ne Ghalib kee shaa'iree ke baare meiN jin Khayaalaat kaa zikr
> kiyaa hai voh ko'ee naye naheeN haiN. jaisaa k aap bhee iss se qabl
> isee chaupaal meiN likh chuke haiN log iss qism kee Khayaal.aaraa'ee
> pehle bhee kar chuke haiN aur ab bhee kar rahe haiN!
>
> mujh ko Khoob yaad hai k muddat hu'ee aik saaheb ne Ghalib kee
> Ghazaliyaat se jadeed science ke tamaam usool nikaalne kee koshish kee
> thee! maslan Ghalib kaa aik she'r hai:
>
> zo'f se girya mubaddal.ba.dam.e.sard hu'aa
> baavar aayaa hameN paanee kaa havaa ho jaanaa
>
> un saaheb ne iss she'r kee tashreeH meiN yeh saabit karne kee koshish
> kee thee k Ghalib ko :steam power: aur uss ke nateeje meiN zaahir hone
> vaale san'atee inqilaab (industrial revolution) kaa na sirf idraak
> thaa bal.k voh uss ke rumooz.o.imkaanaat ko apnee baseerat se kaamil
> taur se dekh bhee chuke the! iss qism kee laa.taa'il aur bema'nee
> baatoN se voh mazmoon bharaa huaa thaa.
>
> yeh tareeq.e.fikr aap ke tareeq.e.fikr se kuChh aisaa muKhtalif naheeN
> hai. bechaare Ghalib ne to Khwaab meiN bhee voh naheeN sochaa hogaa jo
> un ke :shaareHeeN: ne un se mansoob kiyaa hai! yeh taqreeban vohee
> tareeq.e.istidlaal hai jo aaj ke Hindustaan ke chand :ahl.e.ilm: yeh
> saabit karne ke liye istaimaal karte haiN k Ramayana aur Mahabharat
> meiN jauharee aslaHa (nuclear arms) aur Khalaa'ee :rockets: kaa zikr
> maujood hai kyoN.k yeh sab uss zamaane meiN musta'mil the! bar.eeN
> aql.o.daanish be baayad gireest!
ye paRh kar to maiN Ghalib se ziyaada tahayyur kaa shikaar ho gayaa
hooN! pehlee baat to ye k Ghalib kee shaa'iree ke saa'insee pehloo par
aap kee tehreer se sirf 2 hafte pehle, inhee safhaat par, "Scientific
aspects of (Urdu) poetry" ke naam se behs ho chukee hai, jis par is
heechmadaan ne bhee haashiya tehreer kiyaa thaa. saaf zaahir hai k yaa
to vo laRee aap kee nazroN se chook ga'ee, yaa agar ise paRhaa bhee
thaa to zehn se utar ga'ee ho gee, kyoN k us ke paish e nazar aap ke
mazmoon meN jo takraar kaa pehloo aa gayaa hai, us kaa javaaz naheeN
bantaa. aur haaN, yaaddaasht se yaad aayaa k aik aur baat bhee aap
bhool ga'ye, aur vo ye k Mir ke havaale se Shaifta/Aazurda ke qaul par
pehle bhee hamaaree aap kee behs ho chukee hai :)
doosree, aur ziyaada hairaan-kun, baat ye hai k aap ne ba-zaahir oopar
bayaan karda mere 2 nikaat ko "rebut" kiyaa hai, lekin is "rebuttal"
ke liye jo tareeqa aap ne iKhtiyaar kiyaa hai vo meree fehm e
kaj-parvaaz ke daa'ire se saraa-sar baalaa-tar hai. meree aajizana
raa'ye meN is baat ko "refute" karne -- k "Ghalib Urdu kaa pehlaa
shaa'ir hai jo savaal uThaataa hai aur ashiyaa ke kaainaat meN maqaam
o maqsad ko "challenge" kartaa hai -- ke 2 tareeqe the:
1.
yaa to aap Ghalib se pehle kee Urdu shaa'iree se imsaal o dalaa'il kee
raushnee meN saabit kar dete k naheeN jee, Ghalib se pehle bhee Urdu
sha'air isee shiddat o hiddat o kasrat se savaal uThaate rahe haiN.
2.
agar ye mumkin naheeN thaa to aap imsaal o dalaa'il se ye saabit kar
dete k Ghalib ke haaN to iste'jaab o tajassus sire se naapaid haiN!
lekin mujhe maayoosee huvee hai k aap ne in meN se ko'yee bhee raastaa
iKhtiyaar karne kee bajaa'ye aik toolaanee behs cheR de jis kaa, meree
adnaa raa'ye meN, nafs e mazmoon se ko'yee ta'aluq naheeN thaa!
maayoosee is li'ye k mujhe lagaa k meree tehreer asar se is qadar
Khaalee hai k maiN itnaa *mazboot* case bhee paish karne se qaasir
rahaa.
kabhee mauqa' milaa to is mau'zoo' par aik lambaa choRaa mazmoon
likhaa jaa saktaa hai. fil-haal to Ghalib ke chand ash'aar paish karne
par iktifaa kartaa hooN:
Ghalib kee shaa'iree meN tahayyur:
-------------------------------------------
jab k tujh bin naheeN ko'yee maujood
phir ye hamgaama ai Khudaa kyaa hai????
ham haiN mushtaaq aur vo baizaar
yaa Ilaahee, ye maajira kyaa hai?
shikan e zulf e 'anbareeN kyoN hai?
nigah e chashm e suram-saa kyaa hai?
na thaa kuchh to Khudaa thaa, na hotaa kuchh to Khudaa hotaa
Dubooya mujh ko hone ne, na hotaa maiN to kyaa hotaa???
haiN aaj kyoN zaleel k kal tak na thee pasand
gustaaKhee e farishta hamaaree janaab meN?
pakRe jaate haiN farishtoN ke likhe par naahaq
aadmee ko'ee hamaaraa dam e tehreer bhee thaa?
yaa Rab zamaana mujh ko miTaata hai kis li'ye?
loh e jahaaN pe harf e mukarrar naheeN hooN maiN
kyoN gardish e mudaam se ghabraa na jaa'ye dil?
insaan hooN, piyaala o saaGhar naheeN hooN maiN
maut kaa aik din mu'aeen hai
neend kyoN raat bhar naheeN aatee?
jaaN kyoN nikalne lagtee hai tan se dam e samaa'
gar vo sadaa samaa'ee hai chang o rubaab meN?
hai kahaaN tamannaa kaa doosraa qadam, yaa Rab?
ham ne dasht e imkaaN ko aik naqsh e paa paayaa
aa'eena kyoN na dooN k tamaashaa kaheN jise?
aisaa kahaaN se laa'ooN k tujh saa kaheN jise?
kis kaa suraaGh e jalva hai hairat ko ai Khudaa?
aa'eena farsh e shish jahat e intizaar hai
phoonkaa hai kis ne gosh e muhabbat meN ai Khudaa?
afsoon e intizaar e tamanna kaheN jise
mazeed talaash par aise darjanoN ash'aar aur mil jaa'yeN ge. lekin
ash'aar se qata' e nazar, Ghalib ke haaN ka'ee GhazleN aisee haiN jin
kee radeef hee
istifhaamiya hai:
ga'ee vo baat k ho guftugoo to kyoN kar ho?
dost Gham-Khaaree meN meree sa'ee farmaa'eN ge kyaa?
havas ko hai nishaat e kaar kyaa kyaa
vo firaaq aur vo visaal kahaaN?
dil hee to hai na sang o Khisht, dard se bhar na aa'ye kyoN?
vaarasta is se haiN k muhabbat hee kyoN na ho?
dil e naadaaN tujhe huvaa kyaa hai?
kisee ko de ke dil ko'yee navaa-sanj e fuGhaaN kyoN ho?
ga'yee vo vaat k ho guftugoo to kyoN kar ho?
har aik baat pe kehte ho tum k too kyaa hai?
diyaa hai dil agar us ko bashar hai kyaa kahi'ye?
bahut sahee Gham e geetee, sharaab kyaa kam hai?
vG.
Ghalib kee shaa'iree meN tashkeek:
-------------------------------------------
haaN, khaa'io mat faraib e hastee
har chand kaheeN k hai, naheeN hai
ham ko ma'aloom hai jannat kee haqeeqat lekin
dil ke Khush rakhne ko Ghalib ye Khayaal achchhaa hai
dair o haram aa'eena e takraar e tamanna
vaamaandagee e shauq taraashe haiN panaaheN
asl e shuhood o shaahid o mash'hood aik haiN
hairaaN hooN phir mushaahida hai kis hisaab meN?
vG, vG.
"challenge" kee misaaleN kyaa dooN, ye dekhi'ye k Ghalib ne taqreeban
har asaateeree (mythological) aur rivaa'itee (traditional)
shaKhseeya't ke tasleem shuda kirdaar se inkaar kiyaa hai, sirf 2
mislaaleN kaafee haiN:
vo zinda ham haiN k haiN rooshnaas e Khalq, ai Khizr
na tum k chor bane umr e jaavidaaN ke li'ye
taishe baGhair mar na sakaa koh-kan, Asad
sagashta e Khumaar e rasoom o qayood thaa
deevaan e Farsi meN bhee savaaliya GhazloN kee kamee naheeN, jaise:
ba beeN k dar gul o mul jalva gar baraa'e too keest?
la'al e Khasta e asar e iltimaas e keest?
dar gard e naala vaadee e dil razm gaah e keest?
vG vG vG.
------------------
agar ab bhee aap ko Ghalib kee shaa'iree meN hairat aur shak baraamad
karnaa Ramayan se rocket nikaalne yaa Mahabharat se aTam bam banaane
ke usool ma'aloom karne ke mutaraadif lagtaa hai to maiN is ke sivaa
kyaa arz kar saktaa hooN k ham donoN do muKhtalif tool e mauj
(wave-lengths) par soch rahe haiN!
aaKhir meN Ghalib kaa aik she'er sunaa kar Taltaa hooN:
huvee muddat k Ghalib mar gayaa, par yaad aataa hai
vo har ik baat par kehnaa k "yooN hotaa to kyaa hotaa?"
aadaab arz hai,
Zaf
pas e navisht: Mir vaale mas'ale par phir kabhee baat ho gee. abhee
sirf ye arz kar dooN k Mir kaa jo she'er aap ne "pashtash Ghaaiyat
past ast" kee misaal meN paish kiyaa hai vo, meree naaqis raa'ye meN,
apne achhoote qaul e mahaal (paradox) kee vajh se aik laa-javaab
she'er hai!