Re: Grex joke

[Johannes Patruus]

On 11/05/2012 22:36, B. T. Raven wrote:
> Professor Dennis posted this on the grex a while ago:
>
> “Parvulus vir tristis in caupona sedit ante cerevisiam.
>
> Venit vir magnus, umerum parvuli percusssus, ebibit eius cerevisiam
> unico hauritu.
>
> Parvulus incipit plorare.
>
> Dicit ille magnus: Noli te ita gerere, pusille, ac flere propter unam
> cerevisiam!
>
> Tunc parvulus: "En, ausculta: Hodie mane uxor mea me reliquit, pecunia e
> computo detraxit, domus vacua est. Deinde e munere dimissus sum! Non iam
> vivere volui:
>
> Recubui in orbitis ferreis... deviatio!
>
> Me suspendere volui... funis diruptus!
>
> Fistula ferrea me occidere volui... telum haesit!
>
> Nunc ultimam pecuniam pro cerevisia solvi, venenum infusi, et tu mihi
> exhauris eam!”
>
> He got the joke from a site calle _Latine Loquamur_ where apparently
> this Latin version was made by one Peter Dittmann. I like all of the
> diction except ferrea fistula, which seems to mean a gun of some kind
> which jams. Here are some gun words I have collected, mainly from David
> Morgan:
>
> gun / ballista, machina ignivoma; -- focīle, is n.; flinta* [s.18] --
> sclopētum [DuCange; s.17]; manuballista ignivoma, pyroballista,
> sclopellum; ignifera ballista (Ciar.); (cannon) tormentum (bellicum)
> ignivomum; ballista ignivoma; (rifle) sclopetum ignivomum tubo intus
> striato; (pistol) manuballistula ignivoma, sclopetum manuale; pistolium;
> machine -- sclopētum machinale; polybolum [Latinitas]; polybolum,
> ballista ignivoma automataria; machine--- fire (crebra) missilium
> ignivomorum iaculatio, iactus; mydrobolum; sclopētum automatum
> [Eichenseer]; manuballista ignivoma semiautomataria; pistolium
> machinale; hoplopolybolum; --ner ballistarius; --nery ars
> tormentorum; sclopus, sclopetus (Milton); -- barrel fistula sclopetaria;
> canalis; scapus; tubus sclopeti, canalis; breech of a -- sclopeti pars
> inferior ; --sight dioptra [Vitr.]; horopter, -eris [Bartal] ; --stock
> sclopēti lignum

Ferrea fistula = archabusium
http://logeion.uchicago.edu/index.html#archabusium

Patruus

[B. T. Raven]

Die Sat May 12 2012 02:25:48 GMT-0500 (Central Daylight Time) Johannes
Patruus <inv...@invalid.invalid> scripsit:

Thanks for the ref. Unka. It seems that they were not being very precise
even in 1585 by using a word (phrase)that could easily be confused with
the canonical "lead pipe, in the study, by colonel Mustard." Better to
bite the bullet, so to speak, and go with uncipyxis (Hakebuechse, the
source of harquebus.

Eduardus