DougKen.com: Hot 8th Grade Boys Ninja Lacrosse Action
_Doug
8TH GRADE BOYS NINJA LACROSSE
PLEASANTON TORNTOES vs. LIVERMORE LAB MUTANTS
It was a quiet evening out at the mysterious Livermore Atomic Lab. The
guards sat within the guard shacks dozing in the warmth of the setting sun.
They jerked awake from a loud noise.
An enormous stretch Hummer came noisily drifting around the corner, and
continued drifting toward the lab entrance. The guards jumped out of their
shacks and took aim with their dark automatic weapons.
Seeing this, the driver - Coach - spun the steering wheel and the Hummer
started a spindrift that cleared away the guards, their shacks, and all the
cement bunkers. As he passed the guards still cart wheeling through the
air, Coach waved the team's entrance pass. They were expected. They were:
The Torntoes - ninja lacrosse playing 8th grade boys from Pleasanton.
It was dark by the time Coach had drifted all around the entire Livermore
Lab facility in search of the lacrosse playing field. The stretch Hummer
came to a screeching halt and out piled the boys, their equipment, their
weapons, and several hundred pounds of food - and that was just their
pre-warm-up snacks - the top of the Hummer was lined with huge Thule boxes
loaded with snacks for every time Coach called a timeout. And that was a
lot. Every time he could. You looked up 'timeout' in the dictionary and
there was a picture of Coach hollering 'timeout!' at some frustrated ref.
It was the season playoff game, and the boys would be playing their
archrivals the Livermore Lab Mutants. The boys could see them glowing on
the other side of the field already. As a matter of fact, lights would not
be needed for this nighttime game, because everything around the Lab glowed
as brightly as day all night long. There were strange buildings all around
them, making strange noises, and sometimes belching forth strange smoke of
different colors: green, red, purple, and more. This was the home of the
Lab Mutants. This was where they practiced, lived, and were created by all
the mad scientists on the taxpayers' dime.
The Mutants made a lot of noise warming up. As they leapt to catch practice
balls and landed, there would be crashes that shook the ground. But the
Pleasanton ninja lacrosse boys laughed at this and warmed up all the harder.
The Mutants piled up on top of each other to form a gymnastics pyramid. The
Pleasanton boys lifted up Coach's Hummer onto their shoulders.
The Mutants who were piled up, all jumped up and down, the goalie at the top
of the heap soaring 500 feet up into the air. The Pleasanton Torntoes
tossed the Hummer up and down - good thing Coach was busy hollering at the
refs ahead of time to make for a fair game.
The Mutants all flipped over and stood on their hands, still piled on top of
each other. The Pleasanton ninja lacrosse boys all flipped over, too, and
spun the Hummer around and around using their feet - all of Coach's loose
change spilled out from the front seat and showered down, twinkling in the
bright light from a small mushroom cloud rising from a nearby lab building
that was having an atomic meltdown - just like a lacrosse coach.
The game was about to start. The Pleasanton boys waited impatiently out on
the field for the Mutants, who were all still shaving so they could pass the
age qualification - and the ones with receding hairlines had lathered up
their heads with towering mounds of white foamy shaving cream to shave them,
too. Kenton the Conniver, the smart-aleck of the team, was then heard to
comment: "Yeah, we'll give them a close shave!"
The team loudly grunted their amused agreement - all except X-Devin the
Dreadnaught who stood behind them all, growling to himself. Suddenly, he
dropped to one knee, and smashed the butt of his stick down to the ground.
He began to shake violently, smoke poured up from him, and their was a sound
like thunder from Devin's grinding teeth - the sugar from his favorite
pre-game drink Naked was hitting his veins and he was just charging up.
The two Livermore refs gave up trying to win an argument with Coach and
trotted onto the field. The back of one ref shirt read "WE BLEED PLUTONIUM"
and the back of the other read "WE BLEED SPENT NUCLEAR FUEL." The boys were
unsure if they'd get a fair shake.
The boys lifted all their sticks together in the air, gave the team cheer
"WE WANNA WIN!", and charged onto the field.
They now performed the ritual whip-crack installation of the goalie by
linking arms and forming a long line, with goalie Conner the Capturer at the
end and X-Devin the Dreadnaught at the beginning. X-Devin ran in a tight
circle, followed by all the others, until they created a spinning whip of
boys that successfully tossed Conner the Capturer across the field at over
120MPH and into his goal, which stretched backwards about 50 feet and shot
him back out. He flew past all the boys, landed in the opposing goal,
stretched it back 49 feet, and then came shooting out again. This went on
and on, Conner soaring back and forth, the boys heads swinging back and
forth enjoying a little popcorn while watching. Finally, Conner the
Capturer got bored, grabbed the edge of his goal, and came to a stop. He
loudly growled, "Nothing gets past me!"
Mad Michael faced off against a Livermore Mutant three times his height and
with bad breath - plus, he was a mouth breather. Just before the ref blew
the whistle, Mad Michael offered the Mutant a mint, but gave him a chocolate
covered hockey puck. While the Mutant was busy chewing, Mad Michael slipped
off with the ball.
But up from the ground, right in front of Mad Mike, a Mutant ...
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..full story at:
Humor by Douglas Kendall