political systems simplified

[Chuckles]

political systems simplified

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them
and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for
by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the
government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as
much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care
of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them,
but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots
you.

CANADIAN DEMOCRACY: You shoot both your cows and live off the
government cheese.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for
keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the
milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick
someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if
you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for
speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what
you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to
milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and
pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms
accounting for the missing cows.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of
"ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering,
intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to
society) bovines of non-specific gender.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.