Cleaning Out The Joke Bin. 2-2-12.

[packratatlarge]

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in food.

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I saw a cafeteria serving an all-day breakfast, but I didn't have that
much time.

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There's not much I don't know about horses. I spent five years
working in a French restaurant.

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Two bachelors are talking about cooking. "I got a cookbook once,"
says one. "But I could never do anything with it." "Were the recipes
too hard?" asks the other. "No," he replies. "But each of the
recipes began the same way -- take a clean dish ... "

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What food will decrease a woman's sex drive by 70%? A wedding cake.

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When I came home last night the wife said the cat really upset her. I
told her she shouldn't have eaten it in the first place.

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I went to a seafood disco yesterday. I managed to pull a mussel.

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I always take my wife to the finest restaurants. Someday I might let
her inside one.

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I bought a box of animal crackers. On the box was a warning -- do not
eat if seal is broken. When I opened the box, would you believe
it ...

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I ordered a thin and crispy Supreme from my local pizza shop -- they
sent me Diana Ross.

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My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any
weight, but she can climb a tree in a few seconds.

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A new Chinese diet. You can eat anything you want but you're only
allowed one chopstick.

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Patient: I have a terribly fat stomach.
Doctor: Have you tried to diet?
Patient: Yes, but no matter what color I use, my stomach still looks
terribly fat.

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Is my wife thin? Hey, when she goes to the park the pigeons and ducks
throw *her* bread.