Penthouse Magazine Seeks Limericks
Gerard Van der Leun
Get Your Limerick Published in Penthouse
Penthouse Magazine prints a monthy feature called "Ribald Rimes."
This item presents from 4 to 6 limericks selected by the editors.
There are, as you might expect, few limitations as to subject matter
or language. The only criteria is that the limerick must be freshly
minted and amusing.
As the editor of this page, I'd like to invite members of
alt.jokes.limericks to submit their original limericks for
consideration.
Any chosen to be published will receive a free one-year subscription
to Penthouse Magazine.
Submissions should be sent to gerard.v...@generalmedia.com
with the subject line: limerick.
Please note that because of the lead time of the magazine limericks
tied to breaking news events will be unlikely candidates for
publication.
Also please note that Clinton/ Lewinsky limericks are a glut on the
market and highly unlikely to be chosen.
Ditto dynamite sticks used as a phallus, guys named Dave who live
in a cave, and anyone born on the island of Nantucket.
Other than that, rime away!
Spuddie
On Tue, 14 Apr 1998 13:22:26 -0500, Gerard Van der Leun
<gerard.v...@generalmedia.com> dangled the carrot and said:
>Get Your Limerick Published in Penthouse
snip
>Other than that, rime away!
SHIT! What a time for my smut-rhymer to go on the blink! I'd sure like
to add THAT to my non-existant list of credits...LOL
Cheryl
~~~If you can't be good, then be good at it.~~~
Frank
cat...@rangenet.com (Spuddie) wrote:
>On Tue, 14 Apr 1998 13:22:26 -0500, Gerard Van der Leun
><gerard.v...@generalmedia.com> dangled the carrot and said:
>>Get Your Limerick Published in Penthouse
>snip
>>Other than that, rime away!
>SHIT! What a time for my smut-rhymer to go on the blink! I'd sure like
>to add THAT to my non-existant list of credits...LOL
>Cheryl
The editor, Bob Guccione
Prints Penthouse, for whacking your pony
Playboy is too neat
Hustler is raw meat
But Forum, I think, is a phony.
(no free subscription for that one)
--
Frank (change specter to spectra in the reply address)
--
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Saint
What the hell is Penthouse doing in here,
Did Gerard enter to eavesdrop and leer?
Naked girls in all their glories
Of course I just read the stories
I couldn't write a lim for him that's sincere.
Saint
lil...@aol.com
The editor of Penthouse Magazine's "Ribald Rimes" wrote:
Yowsah, Yowsah >Get Your Limerick Published in Penthouse<
Send pics of your girlfriends sans pants,
And lim'ricks when you get the chance.
Make sure that your copy
Is not getting sloppy,
And edit these shots of my manse.
Please proofread this issue for free,
But, Golly, how rude can I be?
For lim'rick donation
Your grand compensation:
A year of our rag is on me!
Oh, Bob, it would be quite grand,
Our rhymes to be read through the land,
Mixed up with pudenda
Of various genda,
In a tome to be read with one hand.
For an aging, medalioned, old voyeur,
Bob, you’re nearly as smart as my lawyer.
I feel like a jerk,
Still going to work.
While Penthouse editors play Thomas Sawyer.
Irish -- OK, OK, he didn’t say “yowsah”
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/ Now offering spam-free web-based newsreading
John
Gerard Van der Leun wrote:
>
> Get Your Limerick Published in Penthouse
Been there, and done that before
I'm already a true Penthouse whore
'Stead of plain STD's
I got writer's disease ...
Do you think I should send in some more?
> Any chosen to be published will receive a free one-year subscription
> to Penthouse Magazine.
Ah, now we come down to the fee
My talent's worth money, I see
Like some Penthouse Pets
My only regret's
All that GOOD stuff I put out for free!
-- ©1998 John Miller HARD SOFTWARE
Rt 1 Box 190 Talco TX 75487
hard...@1starnet.com http://www2.1starnet.com/hardsoft
Les Stewart
Frank wrote
>
>The editor, Bob Guccione
>Prints Penthouse, for whacking your pony
> Playboy is too neat
> Hustler is raw meat
>But Forum, I think, is a phony.
>
>(no free subscription for that one)
A Penthouse subscription, I'm hopin'
No more just sittin' and mopin'
The old ones I got
Are not so hot
The pages are stuck and won't open
Les Stewart
lil...@aol.com
(Frank) wrote:
> The editor, Bob Guccione
> Prints Penthouse, for whacking your pony
> Playboy is too neat
> Hustler is raw meat
> But Forum, I think, is a phony.
>
> (no free subscription for that one)
When posing a Pet for a shot,
Bob uses this technique a lot:
His lenses he pastes
With glycerine wastes
To tone down the glare from her twat.
Irish -- (always thought those things were a little fuzzy)
LadyJ
lil...@aol.com wrote:
>
> (Frank) wrote:
>
> > The editor, Bob Guccione
> > Prints Penthouse, for whacking your pony
> > Playboy is too neat
> > Hustler is raw meat
> > But Forum, I think, is a phony.
> >
> > (no free subscription for that one)
>
> When posing a Pet for a shot,
> Bob uses this technique a lot:
> His lenses he pastes
> With glycerine wastes
> To tone down the glare from her twat.
>
> Irish -- (always thought those things were a little fuzzy)
>
The men of the world are obsessed
with a forty-two, double-dee breast
a peek-a-boo nipple
sure causes a ripple
and their own palms can finish the rest!
LadyJ
*************************************************************
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies
but the silence of our friends." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
*************
http://www.ladyj.net/advice
tes...@bigfoot.com
*************************************************************
Tymme Laun
<other decent stuff snipped>
.........................................................
> The men of the world are obsessed
> with a forty-two, double-dee breast
> a peek-a-boo nipple
> sure causes a ripple
> and their own palms can finish the rest!
>
> LadyJ
A 42 double D breast,
is entirely too large a chest.
Now a 36 C
is the right size for me.
In the hand - a waste, is the rest.
=Kasodrac
H
Dub D’s are fine for a ripple,
While A’s aren’t more than a stipple.
Just give me a cup
Where the pink stands way up -
All I need’s a mouthful of nipple.
- H
lowel...@gmail.com
Deano
Turbeau
And frankly, distressing my nurse
- a old penthouse pet
Who never once yet
Demanded I screw her in verse
Deadpan Dave
> -- ©1998 John Miller HARD SOFTWARE
> Rt 1 Box 190 Talco TX 75487
> hard...@1starnet.com http://www2.1starnet.com/hardsoft
He's back from the old great beyond.
I'm glad that you're here
I'd by you a beer
But all you'd get's one electron.
Deadpan Dave
[snip]
Making fun of this non-lim'rick crime.
In what Gerry wrote
I can't help but note
That this "editor" cannot spell "rhyme"!
Cybe R. Wizard
before I wished you a good 'bye!
I say, though, right here
if you want a beer
like most things, it's something you BUY.
--
Cybe R. Wizard
"Don't worry, I'll take care of the lightning."
Dr. Emmet Brown, "Back To The Future"
Cybe R. Wizard
John's limericks were often ironic.
It's not wrong to call him iconic.
His talent was vast,
he was wonderfully smart-assed,
and your 'lectron has made him ionic.
He'd positively love that.
--
Cybe R. Wizard
"For security's sake all Windows should be barred."
Cybe R. Wizard