IRC-er's Guide to Net-Sex
cgla...@vax1.umkc.edu
hereby offer the following handy-dandy guide to finding net-sex:
1) Most wanna-netsexers make their first mistake by looking for a female
willing to netsex them. This concept is yet another example of urban folklore.
What you should be looking for instead is a male ircer with a female nick.
These people are often very willing to net-sex, as they are desperate enough to
pose as the opposite sex to get it.
2) Unless you are propositioning someone mentioned in #1, pickup lines such as
"Hey, I got a 2-foot cock, wanna fuck?" and "How big are your tits?" are
generally not appropriate.
3) Rule #2 also applies to nicks such as BigCock, HotNHard, TenInch, or
SexyGuy.
4) Do not join channels such as #sex, #phonesex, or #hotsex in hopes of
finding net-sex. Here, females (or males posing as females) generally have a
choice and tend to overlook your sorry lame ass. instead, go to the more
obscure channels, such as #twilight_zone, its analog, #toilet_zone, any channel
named after a computer (ie #macintosh, #amiga, or #unix, and especially
#atari), or any channel bayl happens to be on.
5) Doing a /who of any given channel, such as #wicca or #pagan (you know them
pagan babes r hot) and then messaging EVERY FEMININE NICK THEREON is not
generally the thing to do. Instead, go to #gospel or #jesus, pick the most
masculine nick there, and message that person. Chances are they are female,
and attempting to avoid you by posing as males.
6) One easy way to find other people as lame as you is to just type /who
*delphi.org. Admittedly, they are all male, and as deprived as you yourself,
but since at any given moment half of them are posing as females *anyway*, it
doesn't really matter. In fact, if you have read this far and are actually
considering any of this seriously, you yourself are probably from this site.
Just don't get confused and begin messaging yourself by mistake. *
7) Just give up on people on channels such as #lesbian. You've attempted
countless times to "convert" one with your male wit and charm (Hey babe-y u
know a gurl cant do it like i can). Chances are they are on that channel to
avoid people like you in the first place. Er, unless they are people like you.
In which case, message away. (See above, and remember that delphi is an
automatic guarantee of both lameness and maleness.)
8) Flooding feminine nicks with badly-done ascii art of the male genitalia is
not usually a turn-on. If you can, however, prove that *your* genitalia are
actually made from small T's and U's, the floodee may consider signing you on
and taking you on the carnival circuit.
9) Most bots are not programmed to net-sex. Well, except maybe WARUNGBOT.
WARUNGBOT has been specially programmed to point out the best net-sexer on any
given channel. Just message him. (Hi, Jake :) Or, if this doesn't work, you
might try any bot written by Plutonium.
10) If all else fails, message someone who goes by the nick Valerie. Or even
if one of these works, message it anyways. We already know this person falls
into the category mentioned in #1, and it can use all the help it can get.
We hope that our little guide proves helpful in getting you what you truly
deserve, boys. Okay, granted, what you *truly* deserve is a kick in the groin,
and permanent sexual dysfunction (not that you aren't dysfunctional enough as
is).
SalvDali and Catra
"We've seen lameness. Lameness is an enemy of ours. And you, sir, are lame."
*Our apologies to any unwitting female and the rare gentleman who use delphi.
M. D. Yesowitch
> Allright, to cut down on half the posts here (ie, "I wanna netsex" posts), I
> hereby offer the following handy-dandy guide to finding net-sex:
Please see also: http://mistral.enst.fr/~pioch/IRC/hints.html
-m
Cat & Slave, please note that, while your correctly included
delphi.com, you shamefully omitted netcom.com. Please correct this
oversight in your next release. 8-)
-m
****************************************************************************
M.D. Yesowitch yeso...@ucunix.san.uc.edu
All Flames to: women_not_to_...@kei.com
Roman M. Parparov
1) If you want net-sex do /who -host *.umkc.edu
Notice that either Salvdali or Catra are (Comrade Wilson and Comrade Gladish)
on. If yes, msg either or both of them a most simple offer of net-sex
If not, keep trying, for you never find more easy and pleasant way to get
what you're looking for.
2) If you think you better try another way look #1)
Roma.
Just my $0.02 (6 agorot)
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# Roman M. Parparov (Roma) # __/\__ "Phantom wanders over #
# Student In Electrical Engineering # \ / Europe, Phantom of #
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Jake [WinterHawk] Khuon
Ignoring the following warning:
This program posts news to thousands of machines throughout the entire
civilized world. Your message will cost the net hundreds if not thousands
of dollars to send everywhere. Please be sure you know what you are doing.
Are you absolutely sure that you want to do this? [ny] Y
On 6 May 94 17:43:34 CST
Feeling compelled to expose private thoughts
in article <1994May6...@vax1.umkc.edu>,
posted to alt.irc,
cgla...@vax1.umkc.edu was rumoured to have written:
> choice and tend to overlook your sorry lame ass. instead, go to the more
> obscure channels, such as #twilight_zone, its analog, #toilet_zone, any channel
^==========^
I'm sorry... this channel is my channel reserved for bot-molestation only.
-- Wintr "I bury the rusted chassis of sexually molested bots under my basement"
Hawk
/*=========================================================================+
| Jake [WinterHawk] Khuon | |\ |\ A E R O S P A C E |
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