Yesterday's Hagar The Horrible Hit A Little Too Close To Home
Fred Ziffel
>somebody spent three hours writing that post, they must really worship you
>velocity.
> Remember velocity, now your a roll model for
>this person, post responsibly.
Heh, yeah, velocity, know your roll. LOL!!!1!
>
>
>"velocity" <velo...@youreallythinkitsme.com> wrote in message
>news:cdZX4.93788$fF5.3...@news1.rdc1.il.home.com...
>> forged
>> "velocity" <mqu...@home.com> wrote in message
>> news:51c7d0$81c3...@news.hokuriku.ne.jp...
>> > First, let me say that not a day goes by when I don't read Hagar The
>> > Horrible. The legendary Dik Browne's strip may be set in a mysterious
>> Nordic
>> > land in an unspecified time, but its universal message of hope in the
>face
>> > of wacky Viking hijinks never fails to speak to me and to the issues I
>> face
>> > living here in America, 1998. But as much as I love Hagar and all the
>ways
>> > it enriches my life, I must say that yesterday's installment hit just a
>> > little bit too close to home.
>> >
>> > In the first panel, the stage is set, as Hagar and Lucky Eddie are
>> > stranded on a boat in the middle of a lake. The situation becomes far
>more
>> > complicated in panel two, as a horde of rival Vikings launch an attack
>on
>> > the pair's boat, fiercely closing in from all sides. Then, in the
>> climactic
>> > third panel, Eddie turns to Hagar and says, "I told you we should've
>> brought
>> > a cell phone."
>> >
>> > Now, normally, I would've enjoyed a good chuckle over such vintage
>> > Hagar. But instead, it sent a chill up my spine, for something
>> frighteningly
>> > similar happened to me that very same day.
>> >
>> > Panel one: It's 9 a.m., and I'm driving to work on the freeway.
>> Panel
>> > two: Thick, black smoke starts pouring out from the hood of my Toyota
>> > Tercel, and I pull over. Panel three: I frantically search the car's
>glove
>> > compartment for my cell phone to call for help, but it's no use: the
>phone
>> > is nowhere to be found. Like Hagar and Lucky Eddie, I am helpless,
>> stranded.
>> >
>> > At first, I thought the similarity was just a coincidence. But
>then
>> I
>> > got to thinking about the many other ways my life resembles Hagar's.
>Yes,
>> > like Hagar, I have a fat wife named Helga and a duck named Kvaak. Like
>> > Hagar, I enjoy eating with my feet on the table. Like Hagar, my best
>> friend
>> > wears a funnel on his head. And, if all that weren't enough, while I do
>> not
>> > have a bushy red beard like Hagar, I do occasionally winter in Norway.
>> >
>> > But before I had the chance to run into the streets screaming and
>> > clutching my head in terror, it dawned on me: This isn't the first time
>> the
>> > comics have mirrored my life. About a month ago, in Andy Capp, Andy was
>> > drinking and carrying on, throwing beer bottles at his wife. Reading the
>> > strip made me stop and pause, because I suddenly remembered how drunk
>I'd
>> > been the night before, downing flask after flask of Irish whiskey, and
>how
>> > I'd punched all my family members in the throat and had to go to jail
>for
>> 30
>> > days.
>> >
>> > And whenever Dagwood Bumstead eats one of those giant sandwiches,
>I
>> > get a mild heart murmur, probably because all those octuple-decker
>> > sandwiches I'm constantly eating make my arteries constrict. A few weeks
>> > back, Dagwood ate a sandwich in every strip, and by Saturday I had to
>have
>> > an angioplasty.
>> >
>> > Then there was the time Garfield dreamed he was eating a big
>> lasagna,
>> > but he woke up to find he'd eaten his mattress. Well, the very same day
>> that
>> > cartoon ran, I woke up with the family cat in my mouth.
>> >
>> > Last year, in Family Circus, Jeffy wrote a letter to his dead
>> Grandpa,
>> > asking him whether heaven had e-mail. I thought that was eerily
>prescient,
>> > for just a few hours prior to reading the cartoon, I found myself
>wishing
>> I
>> > could e-mail my son Darrell, who'd recently been killed by a runaway
>> > tractor. That Bil Keane must be some sort of psychic.
>> >
>> > For years, with the exception of Hagar The Horrible, I didn't read
>> the
>> > "funny" cartoons in the paper. I did the cryptoquote and checked the
>obits
>> > to see if any of my friends had died of cancer, but other than that, I
>> > pretty much got my daily guffaws from wacky local "Morning Zoo" radio
>> > programs.
>> >
>> > From now on, though, I'm checking the comics every day to see
>what's
>> > going to happen in my life. In today's Peanuts, Charlie Brown seems to
>> have
>> > an unusually large head, so I'm bracing myself for a major case of
>> > hydrocephalus.
>> >
>> >
>> > --
>> > Member of the AHM Clean-Up Crew
>> > AHM Worldwide http://www.ahm-home.com
>> >
>> > NOTE - This newsgroup is composed of a self-policing
>> > community. Messages sent by those attacking,
>> > making off-topic cross-posts, or SPAMming the
>> > community will be removed.
>> >
>> > Protected by: Conceal PC Firewall
>> > from Signal 9 Solutions Inc.
>> > http://www.signal9.com
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>
--
Fred Ziffel
zif...@lart.com
Ziffel/Commodore/Upper Half/1st Virginia Volunteers/CEsium Brigade
Empire of a.p.d.d. d00d #cunn1l1n6u5
Enjoying Usenet at the expense of the stupid.
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Fred Ziffel
>fred, thats funny.
> i call my dick fred.
fred, thats funny.
i call my snuhick fred.
>
>
>"Fred Ziffel" <zif...@ftp.porn.org> wrote in message
>news:8gsgp6$5ip$9...@kneejerk.databasix.com...
Dean Humphries
>
> On Mon, 29 May 2000 02:47:59 GMT, "vinny" <vi...@perlguru.com> wrote:
>
> >fred, thats funny.
> > i call my dick fred.
>
> fred, thats funny.
> i call my snuhick fred.
_______ __ __ .__ __. .__ __. ____ ____
| ____|| | | | | \ | | | \ | | \ \ / /
| |__ | | | | | \| | | \| | \ \/ /
| __| | | | | | . ` | | . ` | \_ _/
| | | `--' | | |\ | | |\ | | | __
|__| \______/ |__| \__| |__| \__| |__| (_ )
|/
__ __ ___ __ __ ___ __
| | | | / \ | | | | / \ | |
| |__| | / ^ \ ______| |__| | / ^ \ | |
| __ | / /_\ \ |______| __ | / /_\ \ | |
| | | | / _____ \ | | | | / _____ \ |__|
|__| |__| /__/ \__\ |__| |__| /__/ \__\ (__)
F|_|/\//\/Y, H/-\-H/-\!
01000110 01110101 01101110 01101110 01111001 00101100
01001000 01100001 00101101 01101000 01100001 00100001
--
>>>> Get Snuhy!
>>>
>>> alt.tv.simpsons.snuh & alt.snuh.
>>
>> news:alt.snuh
>
> news:alt.tv.simpsons.snuh
http://www.geocities.com/buhsnuh
___ ___ ___ ___
/\__\ /\ \ /\ \ /\ \
/:/ _/_ \:\ \ \:\ \ \:\ \
/:/ /\ \ \:\ \ \:\ \ \:\ \
/:/ /::\ \ _____\:\ \ ___ \:\ \ ___ /::\ \
/:/_/:/\:\__\ /::::::::\__\ /\ \ \:\__\ /\ /:/\:\__\
\:\/:/ /:/ / \:\~~\~~\/__/ \:\ \ /:/ / \:\/:/ \/__/
\::/ /:/ / \:\ \ \:\ /:/ / \::/__/
\/_/:/ / \:\ \ \:\/:/ / \:\ \
/:/ / \:\__\ \::/ / \:\__\
\/__/ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/ Cohort #15
From: en_mog <en_...@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.tv.simpsons
Subject: Goodbye :-)
Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2000 08:05:45 -0500
If I have any integrity at all, I must leave. I welcome others
to do so as well if they refuse to be led by a group of
unthinking drones that are stuck in such a mindnumbingly
predictable pattern of
snuh/attack/snuh/attack/penises/attack/snuh/rectum/attack/.
______
Schmitty McDougal
>
> On Sun, 28 May 2000 01:02:03 GMT, "vinny" <vi...@perlguru.com> wrote:
>
> >somebody spent three hours writing that post, they must really worship you
> >velocity.
> > Remember velocity, now your a roll model for
> >this person, post responsibly.
>
> Heh, yeah, velocity, know your roll. LOL!!!1!
>
--
____ __ _ __ __
/ __/___/ / __ _ (_) /_/ /___ __
_\ \/ __/ _ \/ ' \/ / __/ __/ // /
/___/\__/_//_/_/_/_/_/\__/\__/\_, /
/___/
__ ___ ___ __
/ |/ /___/ _ \___ __ _____ ____ _/ /
/ /|_/ / __/ // / _ \/ // / _ `/ _ `/ /
/_/ /_/\__/____/\___/\_,_/\_, /\_,_/_/
/___/
Empire of APDD d00d #h0073r5
"...but i lied when i said that honesty was dead..."
-nomeansno
Fred Ziffel
<de...@databasix.com> wrote:
>Fred Ziffel wrote:
>>
>> On Mon, 29 May 2000 02:47:59 GMT, "vinny" <vi...@perlguru.com> wrote:
>>
>> >fred, thats funny.
>> > i call my dick fred.
>>
>> fred, thats funny.
>> i call my snuhick fred.
>
>
> _______ __ __ .__ __. .__ __. ____ ____
>| ____|| | | | | \ | | | \ | | \ \ / /
>| |__ | | | | | \| | | \| | \ \/ /
>| __| | | | | | . ` | | . ` | \_ _/
>| | | `--' | | |\ | | |\ | | | __
>|__| \______/ |__| \__| |__| \__| |__| (_ )
> |/
> __ __ ___ __ __ ___ __
>| | | | / \ | | | | / \ | |
>| |__| | / ^ \ ______| |__| | / ^ \ | |
>| __ | / /_\ \ |______| __ | / /_\ \ | |
>| | | | / _____ \ | | | | / _____ \ |__|
>|__| |__| /__/ \__\ |__| |__| /__/ \__\ (__)
>
>
>
>F|_|/\//\/Y, H/-\-H/-\!
>
>
>
>01000110 01110101 01101110 01101110 01111001 00101100
>01001000 01100001 00101101 01101000 01100001 00100001
snuhy, fa fa!
LOL!!!1!
Dean Humphries
>
> On Sun, 28 May 2000 20:56:34 -0700, Dean Humphries
> <de...@databasix.com> wrote:
>
> >Fred Ziffel wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >> >fred, thats funny.
> >> > i call my dick fred.
> >>
> >> fred, thats funny.
> >> i call my snuhick fred.
> >
> >
> >| ____|| | | | | \ | | | \ | | \ \ / /
> >| |__ | | | | | \| | | \| | \ \/ /
> >| __| | | | | | . ` | | . ` | \_ _/
> >| | | `--' | | |\ | | |\ | | | __
> >|__| \______/ |__| \__| |__| \__| |__| (_ )
> > |/
> > __ __ ___ __ __ ___ __
> >| | | | / \ | | | | / \ | |
> >| |__| | / ^ \ ______| |__| | / ^ \ | |
> >| __ | / /_\ \ |______| __ | / /_\ \ | |
> >| | | | / _____ \ | | | | / _____ \ |__|
> >|__| |__| /__/ \__\ |__| |__| /__/ \__\ (__)
> >
> >
> >
> >F|_|/\//\/Y, H/-\-H/-\!
> >
> >
> >
> >01000110 01110101 01101110 01101110 01111001 00101100
> >01001000 01100001 00101101 01101000 01100001 00100001
>
> snuhy, fa fa!
guhy, tra tra!
> LOL!!!1!
LOL!!!2!
--
>>>> Get Snuhy!
>>>
>>> alt.tv.simpsons.snuh & alt.snuh.
>>
>> news:alt.snuh
>
> news:alt.tv.simpsons.snuh
http://www.geocities.com/buhsnuh
___ ___ ___ ___
/\__\ /\ \ /\ \ /\ \
/:/ _/_ \:\ \ \:\ \ \:\ \
Ramalane
>
> Fred Ziffel wrote:
> >
> > On Sun, 28 May 2000 20:56:34 -0700, Dean Humphries
> > <de...@databasix.com> wrote:
> >
> > >Fred Ziffel wrote:
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> >fred, thats funny.
> > >> > i call my dick fred.
> > >>
> > >> fred, thats funny.
> > >> i call my snuhick fred.
> > >
> > >
--
Bye-Bye, fuckhead.
Dean Humphries
>
> On Mon, 29 May 2000 15:42:03 -0700, Dean Humphries
> <de...@databasix.com> wrote:
>
> >Fred Ziffel wrote:
> >>
> >> On Sun, 28 May 2000 20:56:34 -0700, Dean Humphries
> >> <de...@databasix.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> >Fred Ziffel wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >>
> >> >> >fred, thats funny.
> >> >> > i call my dick fred.
> >> >>
> >> >> fred, thats funny.
> >> >> i call my snuhick fred.
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >| ____|| | | | | \ | | | \ | | \ \ / /
> >> >| |__ | | | | | \| | | \| | \ \/ /
> >> >| __| | | | | | . ` | | . ` | \_ _/
> >> >| | | `--' | | |\ | | |\ | | | __
> >> >|__| \______/ |__| \__| |__| \__| |__| (_ )
> >> > |/
> >> > __ __ ___ __ __ ___ __
> >> >| | | | / \ | | | | / \ | |
> >> >| |__| | / ^ \ ______| |__| | / ^ \ | |
> >> >| __ | / /_\ \ |______| __ | / /_\ \ | |
> >> >| | | | / _____ \ | | | | / _____ \ |__|
> >> >|__| |__| /__/ \__\ |__| |__| /__/ \__\ (__)
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >F|_|/\//\/Y, H/-\-H/-\!
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >01000110 01110101 01101110 01101110 01111001 00101100
> >> >01001000 01100001 00101101 01101000 01100001 00100001
> >>
> >> snuhy, fa fa!
> >
> >guhy, tra tra!
>
duhy, da da!
>
> >
> >
> >> LOL!!!1!
> >
> >LOL!!!2!
>
> LOL!!!3!
LOL!!!4!
>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >--
> >>>>> Get Snuhy!
> >>>>
> >>>> alt.tv.simpsons.snuh & alt.snuh.
> >>>
> >>> news:alt.snuh
> >>
> >> news:alt.tv.simpsons.snuh
>
--
Fred Ziffel
<de...@databasix.com> wrote:
>Fred Ziffel wrote:
>>
>> On Sun, 28 May 2000 20:56:34 -0700, Dean Humphries
>> <de...@databasix.com> wrote:
>>
>> >Fred Ziffel wrote:
>> >>
>> >> On Mon, 29 May 2000 02:47:59 GMT, "vinny" <vi...@perlguru.com> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> >fred, thats funny.
>> >> > i call my dick fred.
>> >>
>> >> fred, thats funny.
>> >> i call my snuhick fred.
>> >
>> >
>> > _______ __ __ .__ __. .__ __. ____ ____
>> >| ____|| | | | | \ | | | \ | | \ \ / /
>> >| |__ | | | | | \| | | \| | \ \/ /
>> >| __| | | | | | . ` | | . ` | \_ _/
>> >| | | `--' | | |\ | | |\ | | | __
>> >|__| \______/ |__| \__| |__| \__| |__| (_ )
>> > |/
>> > __ __ ___ __ __ ___ __
>> >| | | | / \ | | | | / \ | |
>> >| |__| | / ^ \ ______| |__| | / ^ \ | |
>> >| __ | / /_\ \ |______| __ | / /_\ \ | |
>> >| | | | / _____ \ | | | | / _____ \ |__|
>> >|__| |__| /__/ \__\ |__| |__| /__/ \__\ (__)
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >F|_|/\//\/Y, H/-\-H/-\!
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >01000110 01110101 01101110 01101110 01111001 00101100
>> >01001000 01100001 00101101 01101000 01100001 00100001
>>
>> snuhy, fa fa!
>
>guhy, tra tra!
buhy, ga ga!
>
>
>> LOL!!!1!
>
>LOL!!!2!
LOL!!!3!
>
>
>
>
>--
>>>>> Get Snuhy!
>>>>
>>>> alt.tv.simpsons.snuh & alt.snuh.
>>>
>>> news:alt.snuh
>>
>> news:alt.tv.simpsons.snuh
--
Ramalane
--
Bye-Bye, fuckhead.
Fred Ziffel
<schm...@waveamerica.com> wrote:
>Fred Ziffel wrote:
>>
>> On Sun, 28 May 2000 01:02:03 GMT, "vinny" <vi...@perlguru.com> wrote:
>>
>> >somebody spent three hours writing that post, they must really worship you
>> >velocity.
>> > Remember velocity, now your a roll model for
>> >this person, post responsibly.
>>
>> Heh, yeah, velocity, know your roll. LOL!!!1!
>>
>no you're roll.
gnoe yer rollé
Silver Were
> > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >> LOL!!!1!
> > > >
> > > >LOL!!!2!
> > >
> > > LOL!!!3!
> >
> > LOL!!!4!
> >
>LOL!!!5!
ICEKNIFE
Ramalane wrote in message <3932F4B5...@ramalane.com>...
>Bye-Bye, fuckhead.
Kirt, does your father know you're doing this kind of thing? I've always
considered Phil a man of integrity, and a good Christian, and I don't think
he'll approve. Expect to be the main topic of discussion next Sunday at
Grace Baptist Church. Your behavior will no longer be tolerated.