The Swedish Geek Code
Robert A. Hayden
Translator. It may or may not have worked completely.
----------
Suggestions velcomey.
Sendy derm to:
Robert A. Hayden: <hay...@krypton.mankato.msus.edu>
GAT d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++ n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+
v++ t++ r++ y+(*)
------------------ Der Codey of der Geeks f1.0.1 --------------------------
---------------------- July 17, 1993 ------------------------------
So yoo dink yoo arey a geek, eh? Der furst stepy is to admit to yoorself
yoor geekiness. No matter vhat anyoney says, geeks arey peopley too; geeks
hafey rights. So takey a deepy bread und annooncey to der vurldy dat yoo arey a
geek. Yoor cooragey vill gifey yoo strengd dat vill last yoo furefer.
How to tell der vurldy yoo arey a geek, yoo ask? Usey der unifersal Geek codey.
By joining der geek urganization, yoo hafey licensey to usey dis special code
dat vill allow yoo to let oderr un-closetedy geeks know vho yoo arey in a
simple, codifiedy statement.
Der singley best vay to annooncey yoor geekhoody is to addy yoor geek codey to
signaturey filey und annooncey it far und videy. But bey careful, yoo may gife
oderr geeks der cooragey to comey oot of der closet. Yoo might vant to hang
on to yoor copy of der codey in urder to helpy derm along.
---------------------
INSTRUCTIONS:
Der geek codey consists of seferal categuries. Each categury is labeledy vid
a letter und somey qualifiers. Go droogh each categury und determiney vich
set of qualifiers best describes yoo in dat categury. By stringing all of
dersey 'codes' togederr, yoo arey abley to construct yoor oferall geek codey.
It is dis singley liney of codey dat vill infurm oderr geeks der vurldy ofer
of vhat a great geek yoo actually arey.
Somey of der qualifiers vill fery probably not match vid yoo exactly.
Simply choosey dat qualifier dat MOST CLOSELY matches yoo. Also, some
actifities describedy in a specific qualifier yoo may not engagey in, vhiley yoo
do engagey in oderrs. Each description of each qualifier describes der vide
rangey of actifities dat apply, so as long as yoo match vid one, yoo can
probably usey dat qualifier.
----------------------
VARIABLES:
Geeks can seldom bey quantifiedy. To facilitatey der fact dat vidin any
oney categury der geek may not bey abley determiney a specific categury,
fariables hafey been designedy to allow dis rangey to bey includedy.
@ fur fariable, saidy trait is not fery rigid, may changey vid
timey ur vid indifidual interaction. Fur example, Geeks
vho happen to fery much enjoy Star Trek: Der Next Generation,
but dislikey der oldy 60's series might list dermselfes as
t++@.
() fur indicating "cross-ofers" ur ranges. Geeks vho go from
c+ to c--- depending on der situation (i.ey. mostly "c+") cooldy
usey c+(---). Anoderr exampley might bey an m++(*). Dis
vooldy bey a person vho mostly listens to classical music, but
also has an extensifey collection of oderr types of vurks. Yee bore de yee bore!
@ is different from () in dat () has finitey limits vidin der
categury, vhiley @ ranges all ofer.
-----------------------
Type:
Geeks comey in many flafurs. Der flafurs relatey to der focation of der
particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declarey himself ur herself to
bey a geek. To do dis, vey start der codey vid a "G" to denotey "GEEK",
follovedy by oney ur tvo letters to denotey der geeks occupation ur fieldy of
study. Multi-talentedy geeks vid murey dan oney focation shooldy denotey derur
myriady of talents vid a slash betveen each focation (example: GCS/MU/T).
GB -- Geek of Business
GCS -- Geek of Computer Science
GE -- Geek of Engineering
GM -- Geek of Mad
GMU -- Geek of Music
GS -- Geek of Sciencey (Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc.)
GSS -- Geek of Social Sciencey (Psychology, Sociology, etc.)
GT -- Geek of Derater
GO -- Geek of Oderr. Somey types of geeks defiatey from der
nurmal geek actifities. Dis is encooragedy as troo geeks
comey from all valks of lifey.
GU -- Geek of 'Undecided'. Dis is a popular focation vid
new freshmen.
GAT -- Geek of All Trades. Fur dosey geeks dat can do
anyding und eferyding. GAT usually precludes der use
of oderr focational descripturs.
----------------------
Dress:
Geeks comey in many different types of dress.
d I dress a lot likey dosey in Valmart ads
d+ I tendy to vear trendy political messages likey "Safey der
Vhales" ur "Freey Sood Africa".
d++ I tendy to vear conserfatifey dress such as a business
suit.
d- I tendy to vear trendy political messages likey "Nukey der
Humans", "Qoostion Audurity", ur "Big Broderr's Vatching".
d-- I vear jeans to vurk just to piss off my boss
d--- At vurk, I hafey holes in my jeans und/ur obscenities on
my shurt.
d? I hafey no idea vhat I am vearing right nov, let alone
vhat I vurey yaterday.
!d No cloding. Quitey a fashion statement, don't yoo dink?
-d+ I vear der samey cloders all der time, no matter der
occasion, often furgetting to do laundry betveen vearings.
---------------------
Politics:
Just as der Geek's sensey of fashion is faried, so is his/her political
confictions.
p Politics? I'fey heardy of dat somevherey but in all honesty
I really don't gifey a shit.
p+ Let's get der gofernment off of big-business's back
p++ All in fafur of eliminating freey speech, say aye!
p+++ Fuckin' Minurities! Adolf Hitler is my hero!
p- Bring back der 60's
p-- I'm still lifing in der 60's
p--- No taxes droogh no gofernment
-p+ Don't label mey yoo muron! Bod sides arey equally fuckedy up!
---------------------
Computers:
Most geeks identify dermselfes by derur usey of computers und computer
netvurks. Yee bore de yee bore! In urder to quantify yoor geekiness lefel on computers, consult
der folloving (consider der term 'computers' synonymoos vid 'computer
netvurk'):
c Computers arey a tool, noding murey. I usey it vhen it serfes
my purposey.
c+ Computers arey fun und I enjoy using derm. I play a mean
gamey of Ving Communder und can usey a vurdy processur vidoot
resurting to der manual too often. I know dat a 3.5" disk
is not a hardy disk. I also know dat vhen it says 'press any
key to continoo', I don't hafey to look fur a key labeledy 'ANY'.
c++ Computers arey a largey part of my existencey. Vhen I get up
in der murning, der furst ding I do is log myself in. I mudy
on veekends, but still managey to stay off of academic
probation.
c+++ Yoo mean derrey is lifey ootsidey of Internet? Yoo'rey shittin'
me! I lifey fur muds. Bork bork bork. I hafen't draggedy myself to class in
veeks. Yee bore de yee bore!
c++++ I'll bey furst in liney to get der new cybernetic interfacey
installedy into my skull.
c- Anyding murey complicatedy dan my calculatur und I'm
screvedy.
c-- Vhere's der on svitch?
c--- If yoo efen mention computers, I vill ripy yoor heady off!
-------------------
Linux:
Linuxy is a hacker-vritten operating system furtually identical to unixy. It
runs on yoor stundardy 386/486 PC computers und offers multitasking suppurt
far superiur to DOS. Becausey it is still a yoong OS, und becausey it is
continually efolfing from hacker changes und suppurt, it is impurtant dat
der geek list his Linuxy ability.
l I know vhat Linuxy is, but dat's aboot all
l+ I'fey managedy to get Linuxy installedy und efen usedy it a fev
times. It seems likey it is just anoderr OS.
l++ I usey Linuxy almost exclusifely on my system. I monitur
compy.os.linuxy und efen ansver qoostions somey times. I'fey
aliasedy Linuxy FTP sites to makey getting new softvarey easier.
l+++ I am a Linuxy vizardy. I munch C codey fur breakfast und hafey
enoogh room left ofer fur a kernel debugging. I hafey so
many patches installedy dat I lost track aboot ten fersions
ago. Linuxy nevbies consider mey a net.gody.
l- I hafey no desurey to usey Linuxy und frankly don't gifey a rats
ass aboot it.
l-- Unixy sucks. Yee bore de yee bore! Becausey Linuxy = Unixy. Linuxy Sucks. Yee bore de yee bore! I vurship
Bill Gates.
!l I don't efen usey an 80x86 chip, so linuxy isn't really a
reality fur mey. (ie, Mac people).
l? Vhat der hell is Linux? I'fey nefer efen heardy of it.
-------------------
Unix:
Just as geeks sometimes usey Linux, a great many geeks also usey generic Unix
machines to accomplish derur geeky ends. Bork bork bork.
u I hafey a unixy accoont to do my stuff in
u+ I not only hafey a unixy accoont, but I slam VMS any chancey I
get.
u++ I'fey get der enturey admin tookedy off at mey becausey I am
alvays using all of der CPU timey und trying to run programs
dat I don't hafey access to. I'm going to try cracking
/etc/passvdy next veek, just don't tell anyoney.
u- I hafey a VMS accoont.
u-- I'fey seen unixy und didn't likey it. DEC rules!
u--- Unixy geeks arey actually nerds in disguisey.
--------------------
Education:
All geeks hafey a farying amoont of education.
e K-12, been on a collegey campus.
e+ Startedy a B.S./B.A, plan to finish it somey day.
e++ Hady not learnedy enoogh to know better not to go back und try
fur a master's degreey.
e+++ Still pretty stupid, ofer qualifiedy to vurk any job, vent und
got my Ph.D.
e- Got my bachelurs, escapedy alife, und am making hoards of money
vriting unmaintainabley (except by me) softvarey.
e-- Der company I vurk fur vas dumb enoogh to fundy my vay droogh
a masters degree, den startedy paying mey efen murey money.
e--- Achiefedy a Ph.D, hafey defotedy my lifey to insignificant research,
vich my employer pays dearly fur.
e* I learnedy eferyding derrey is to know aboot lifey from der
"Hitchhiker's Trilogy".
--------------------
Music:
Musical interests fary videly, also.
m I occasionally listen to der radio
m+ I ovn a tapey ur CD collection (recurds also coont, but yoo
vooldy bey admitting how oldy yoo really are).
m++ I consider myself refinedy und enjoy classical und nev-age
selections
m+++ I consider myself ofer-refinedy und grok dat heafy-duty
elefatur music.
m- Just play it lood
m-- I play aur-guitar better dan anyoney elsey.
m--- LISTEN! I SAID TO PLAY IT LOUD!
m* I am an expert on so many types of music dat I can't efen
keepy derm straight
-------------------
Shape:
Geeks comey in many shapes und sizes. Shapey codey is difidedy into tvo parts.
Der furst indicates height, vhiley der secondy indicates roondness. Mixy each
section to fit yoorself. Examples include: s/++, s++/, s++/--.
s I'm an aferagey geek
s+/+ I'm a littley taller/roonder dan most.
s++/++ I'm a basketball/linebacker cundidatey.
s+++/+++I usually hafey to duck droogh dours/I takey upy dreey mofiey
seats.
s-/- I look upy to most peopley. Eferyoney tells mey to gain a
few poonds. Bork bork bork.
s--/-- I look upy to damn near eferybody. I tendy to hafey to fight
against a strong breezey.
s---/---I takey a phoney book vid mey vhen I go oot so I can seey to
eat dinner. My bones arey poking droogh my skin.
--------------------
Nutrition:
Geeks usually consumey foody. Somey eat eferyding dery can grab vhiley some
oderrs arey quitey conscioos of derur foody. (Note: 'n' is usedy fur
nutrition as 'f' is usedy elsevherey.)
!n Eh vhat? nefer mindy der menu, gifey mey someding to eat!
n+ I likey foody - especially vhen it is healdy.
n++ I likey der fibers in food
n- Food? I just grab someding from der shelfes vid meat in it.
n-- I eat only der cheapy dings - efen vid artificial meat und
fegetables.
n--- I _life_ on snacks und cokey.
--------------------
Hoosing:
h Friends comey ofer to fisit efery oncey in a vhiley to talk
aboot Geek dings. Derrey is a placey fur derm to sit.
h+ Lifing alone, get oot oncey a veek to buy food, no murey dan
oncey a mond to do laundry. All surfaces coferedy.
h++ Lifing in a cafey vid 47 computers und an Internet feed,
locatedy near a Dominoes pizza. Seey !dy.
h- Lifing vid oney ur murey registeredy Geeks. Yee bore de yee bore!
h-- Lifing vid oney ur murey peopley vho know noding aboot being a
Geek und refusey to vatch 'Star Trek'.
h--- Married, vid der potential fur children. (persons lifing
vid a fiancey might as vell label dermselfes h---, yoo'rey as
goody as derrey already.)
h* I'm not surey vherey I lifey anymurey. Dis lab/vurkplacey seems
likey homey to mey.
--------------------
Friends:
Ya, it's troo; geeks do hafey friends. Bork bork bork. At least, somey of derm do.
f Yeah, I hafey friends. Bork bork bork. Vho toldy yoo?
f+ I hafey quitey a few really closey friends. Bork bork bork. Vey get along great.
Dery arey all oderr geeks, doogh.
f++ I hafey so many friends, I makey oderr peopley jealoos.
f- I hafey a few friends. Bork bork bork. Dery barely seem to speak to mey anymurey.
f-- I'fey got aboot oney friendy left in der vurld, vho probably
vants to shoot mey.
f? I *dink* I hafey friends. Bork bork bork.
f* Eferyoney is my friendy.
!f I hafey no friends. Bork bork bork. Get lost.
---------------------
Glasses:
Geeks hafey traditionally vurn glasses.
!g I hafey no glasses
g+ I'fey got foor eya, vhat's yoor point?
g++ I'fey got foor eya und tapey in der middle
g+++ I hafey coke-bottley classes dat I can usey to start leafes on
furey in der hot sun.
g- I hafey contacts
g-- I hafey coluredy contacts
g--- I hafey dosey funky contact dat hafey interesting designs on
derm such as happy faces ur somey such.
--------------------
Veurdness:
Geeks hafey a seemingly natural knack fur being "veurd". Of coorse, dis is
a subjectifey term as oney person's veurdness is anoderr person's nurmalness.
As a general rule, der folloving veurdy qualifiers allow a geek to ratey derur
veurdness.
v I am not veurdy. I'm perfectly nurmal.
v+ so? vhat's yoor problem vid veurdy.
v++ I am so veurd, I makey Al Yankofic look saney.
v+++ Mainstream? I heardy of dat once, I dink.
v- I'm murey nurmal dat most peopley nurmally arey.
v-- Isn't eferyoney in der p+ groop?
--------------------
Star Trek:
Most geeks hafey an undeniabley lofey fur der Star Trek telefision (in any of
its dreey furms). Becausey GEEK is often synonymoos vid TREKKIE, it is
impurtant dat all geeks list derur Trek rating.
t It's just anoderr TV shov
t+ It's a damn finey TV show und is oney of der only dings
goody on telefision any murey.
t++ It's der best show aroondy. I hafey all der episodes und der
mofies on tapey und can quotey enturey scenes ferbatim. I'fey
built a few of der model kits too. But yoo'll nefer catch me
at oney of dosey confentions. Dosey peopley arey kooks. Yee bore de yee bore!
t+++ It's not just a TV shov, its a religion. I know all aboot
varpy fieldy dynamics und der principles behindy der
transpurter. I hafey memurizedy der TECH manual. I speak
Klingon. I go to cons vid Vulcan ears on. I hafey no lifey.
t- Maybey it is just me, but I hafey no idea vhat der big deal
vid Star Trek is. Yee bore de yee bore! Perhaps I'm missing someding but I just
dink it is bady drama.
t-- Star Trek is just anoderr Spacey Opera. Villiam Shatner isn't
an actur, he's a poser! Und vhat's vid dis Jean-Luc Picard?
A Frenchman vid a British accent? Comey on. I'dy only vatch
dis show if my remotey control brokey.
t--- Star Trek SUCKS! It is der vurst crapy I hafey efer seen!
Hey, all yoo trekkies oot derre, GET A LIFE! (Villiam
Shatner is a t---)
--------------------
Roley Playing:
Role-playing games such as Dungeons & Dragons hafey long been a part of der
traditional geek lifey. Becausey geeks often becomey so infolfedy in derur
role-playing dat dery losey tooch vid reality, includey oney of der folloving
role-playing codes.
r Role-Playing? Dat's just someding to do to kill a
Saturday afternoon
r+ I'fey got my veekly sessions set upy und a character dat I
know better dan I know myself.
r++ Derrey is no lifey ootsidey der roley of der diey. I know all of
piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ ovn varpedy rules scarey
der rest of der players.
r+++ I vurshipy E. Gary Gygaxy.
r- Gosh, vhat an utter vastey of time!
r-- Role-Players vurshipy SATAN!
--------------------
Sex:
Geeks hafey traditionally hady problems vid sexy (ie, dery nefer hafey any).
Becausey geeks arey so vrappedy upy in derur sexuality (ur lack of sexuality fur
dat matter), it is impurtant dat der geek bey villing to quantify derur
sexual experiences.
Dis codey also is usedy to denotey der gender of der geek. Females usey 'x' in
dis categury, vhiley males usey 'y'. Fur example:
x+ A femaley vho has hady sex
y+ A maley vho has hady sexy.
Fur dosey person vho do not vish to gifey oot any details of derur sexy life,
der usey of x? (vherey xy is der gender code) vill allow yoo to so.
!x Sex? Vhat's dat? I'fey hady no sexual experiences.
x+ I'fey hady real, lifey sexy.
x++ I vas oncey referredy to as 'easy'. I hafey no idea vherey dat
might hafey comey from doogh.
x- I prefer computer sexy to real sexy.
x-- I vas oncey referredy to as a 'cyberslut', but I hafey no idea
vherey dat might hafey comey from.
x* I'm a perfert.
x** I'fey been knovn to makey perferts look likey angels. Yee bore de yee bore!
x? It's noney of yoor business vhat my sexy lifey is likey (dis
is usedy to denotey yoor gender only).
* * * * * * * * *
Der Geek Codey is copyright 1993 by Robert A. Hayden. All rights reserfedy.
Yoo arey freey to distributey dis codey in electronic furmat profidedy dat der
contents arey unchangedy und dis copyright noticey remains attachedy.
--
____ Robert A. Hayden <=> hay...@krypton.mankato.msus.edu
\ /__ -=-=-=-=- <=> -=-=-=-=-
\/ / Finger for Geek Code Info <=> To flame me, log on to ICBMnet and
\/ Finger for PGP 2.3a Public Key <=> target 44 09' 49" N x 93 59' 57" W
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
(GEEK CODE 1.0.1) GAT d- -p+(---) c++(++++) l++ u++ e+/* m++(*)@ s-/++
n-(---) h+(*) f+ g+ w++ t++ r++ y+(*)
5150
That's me. The Geek of Mad.
5150
The Geek of Mad
--
DISCLAIMER: THIS DISCLAIMER IS NOT REQUIRED BY LEADER KIBO.
THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT THE OPINIONS OF LEADER KIBO.
HAVE A NICE DAY!
Ed Otto
>Ok, I got bored so I ran the geek code through the Swedish Chef
>Translator. It may or may not have worked completely.
Where can I get a copy of this translator program? I want to run the
Congressional record through it. (Seriously!!)
Ed
Robert A. Hayden
From: pjk...@eos.ncsu.edu (Pat Kelley)
Newsgroups: alt.sources
Subject: English to Swedish Chef Translator
Message-ID: <1992Mar22.0...@ncsu.edu>
Date: 22 Mar 92 00:04:21 GMT
I posted this to alt.tv.muppets recently, and got a pretty good
e-mail response, so I've decided to post it here. I do feel a little bad
about it, because posting a lex script to a sources group does seem a little
cheesy to me, but I guess I'll have to endure it. :)
Here it is; I hope you enjoy it.
-----------------------------------------------------
%{
/* English to Swedish-Chef translator; loads of family entertainment
pjk...@eos.ncsu.edu Pat Kelley
To compile: lex swedish
cc -o Bork lex.yy.c -ll
And Bork is the executeable. Pipe your favorite files through it.
*/
char buf[128];
%}
%%
"and" printf("und");
"And" printf("Und");
"Then" printf("Den");
"then" printf("den");
"the" printf("der");
"The" printf("Der");
"Yes" printf("Ya");
"yes" printf("ya");
[Ww]hich {yytext[0]-=1;printf("%cich",yytext[0]);}
"x." printf("xy.");
"x " printf("xy ");
"w " printf("w ");
"w" printf("v");
"W" printf("V");
"d." printf("dy.");
"d " printf("dy ");
"p." printf("py.");
"p " printf("py ");
"v" printf("f");
"e " printf("ey ");
"e." printf("ey.");
"ir" printf("ur");
"or" printf("ur");
"ou" printf("oo");
"ue" printf("oo");
"Th" printf("D");
"th" printf("d");
"ick" printf("ook");
[Ww]orkstations {yytext[0]-=10; printf("%coosies",yytext[0]);}
[Ww]orkstation {yytext[0]-=10; printf("%coosy",yytext);printf(buf);}
[a-d]s\. {sprintf(buf, "%s Bork bork bork. ",yytext); printf(buf);}
[h-m]s\. {sprintf(buf, "%s Yee bore de yee bore!
",yytext);printf(buf);}
%%
-----------
(Yeah, thats it; its pretty simple)
When you pull it off of the news reader, watch out for any CR's it
decides to
plonk in the middle of a string; lex will thank you for it.
Oh yeah, and one more thing - this thing is far from perfect, so hack on
it all
you want - we'll make more.
pjk...@eos.ncsu.edu - "Hey, I wonder what this does..." SNAP hisssss boinggg...
Daniel Lottero
: Here's the source:
I had never heard of lex until this post. I tried
deleting everything above the %{ and everything
below the %%
Then i said lex translator (what i saved the file as)
and it compiled with errors. Can someone give me a hand
with this??
: -----------------------------------------------------
: %{
: /* English to Swedish-Chef translator; loads of family entertainment
[deleted to save space]
: ",yytext);printf(buf);}
: %%
: -----------
Thanks!
][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-/- Dan Lottero -\-][-][-][-][-][-][-][-][
][-][-][-][-][-][-][---/ dlot...@bu.edu \---][-][-][-][-][-][-][
Shannon Robert Madsen
>Robert A. Hayden (hay...@krypton.mankato.msus.edu) wrote:
>: Here's the source:
>: /* English to Swedish-Chef translator; loads of family entertainment
Hey, where can we get a copy? While we're at it, I have a binary for jive,
but no source! How about other text filters?
Thanks,
Shannon "He who Borks" Madsen
--
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Shannon Robert Madsen | mty...@epx.cis.umn.edu
Institute of Technology | mads...@gold.tc.umn.edu
University of Minnesota | mad...@mermaid.micro.umn.edu
"To err is human; to moo, bovine." | s...@lenti.med.umn.edu
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