Dogs

[Keith E. Sullivan]

GUARD DOG

Dilbert: "Remember, one of your duties as dog is to guard the house.
That might entail ripping intruders to bits with your teeth ... or
taking a bullet for me."

Dogbert: "Boy, all that and I get to drink out of the toilet too."

Scott Adams
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PRAYER & DOGS

A member of his congregation told Rev. Warren J. Keating, pastor of
First Presbyterian Church, Yuma, AZ, that this was the best prayer he
ever heard: "Dear God, please help me be the person my dog thinks I
am."

Cal & Rose Samra, Holy Humor
Wit & Wisdom <wit-w...@xc.org>
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GRUMPY

Dogbert: "I'm grumpy today, so don't even try to talk to me. And don't
try to flatter me or give me chocolate cake to make me feel better."

Dilbert: "And I guess I shouldn't scratch you behind the ears until you
have little leg spasms."

Dogbert: "Right. None of that."

Scott Adams
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CAN YOUR DOG READ?

This is an actual ad that appears in the June 97 issue of Dog Fancy:

CAN YOUR DOG READ? While there is little scientific evidence, loving
dog owners believe that there are many amazing indications that some
dogs may be able to read or recognize words. Send now for your Dog
Reading Fun Kit with eye chart, flash cards, instructions and diploma.
Hours of entertainment for you and your loving companion. Order
additional Dog Reading Fun Kits for gifts. Mail your check or money
order today! $7.95 plus $2 s/h for each fun kit to: MDA Products, 5339
Prospect Rd #280 San Jose, CA 95129.

Scott E. Patrick <scottp...@juno.com>
Keith Bostic <bos...@bostic.com>
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THREE DOG BAKERY MARKS TERRITORY

New Orleans, Louisiana -- Pawlines, anyone? Perhaps a ciao-wow pizza?

For pet owners who want the top treatment for their precious pooches,
Three Dog Bakery is the place. The shop in the French Quarter gladly
handles dog parties, weddings or even just a yappy hour.

"Business is good. We've had a tremendous response," said Anne Rogers,
32, who opened the bakery in March with her mother, Jane Rogers, 54.

Trays of doggie delicacies with names like mutt muffins are shelved in
wicker baskets trimmed with ribbons and dried flowers, all out of dog's
reach.

The goodies are all low-fat, made from a wheat flour dough baked with
garlic, peanut butter or honey cinnamon. Some are dipped in unsweetened
carob or sprinkled with spices and cheese.

If it sounds good, there's a reason: The bakery employs a full-time
pastry chef. Lapping it up are Anne's golden retriever, Gratzi, the
maitre d'og, and Jane's West Highland white terrier, Lacie, the
executive treat taster.

The Rogers got the idea from a magazine article about Dan Dye and Mark
Beckloff, who opened the original Three Dog Bakery in Kansas City, Mo.,
in 1990.

WhiteBoard News for Monday, July 07, 1997
Joseph Harper <jo...@microsoft.com>
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