Definitions

[Tim Bruening]

Concave: Against spelunking.

Content: Against camping.

Contrail: Against hiking.

Contour: Against French bicycle races.

Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.

Protect: Favoring innovation.

[Tim Bruening]

Conceal: Against marine mammals.

Convex: A frustrated criminal.

Foreman: In favor of the human race.

Crossing Guard: Guard who protected people from hearing Jesus sing
hymns during his Crucifixion.

Taliban: Forbid the census.

Suburban: Forbid living outside the city.

Urban: Prohibit cities.

Urban: Men only.

Incumbant: Not allowed to earn any money.

Incumbant: The ant in power.

Nincompoop. A poop without a nincome.

[Tim Bruening]

Conceal: Against secrecy.

Concede: Against farming.

Confirm: A criminal enterprise.

Confront: A criminal money laundering enterprise.

Conrad: Against radioactive substances in our homes.

Format: In favor of floor coverings.

Forum: In favor of Bircardi.

Proceed: In favor of farming.

Procreate: Against evolution.

Profound: We found an expert!

Propane: In favor of torture.

Propane: In favor of windows.

Prorate: In favor of movie rating systems.

[Tim Bruening]

Poultry: Wood suitable for polish polish.

Conservatory: Save the rainforests! etc...

Tremendous: Excellent sapling repairers.

Sophistry: A tree with a built in seat.

Idolatry: To put a tree out of work.

Telemetry: Repeating it three times!

Lodgepole Pine: The tree misses the large Pole.

[Tim Bruening]

Stalemate: Why people commit adultery.

Adultery: An acorn, all grown up.

Infantry: A newly planted sapling

Treason: A male sapling.

Sophistry: A tree with a built in seat.

Sophistry: Sophie's trying to deceive us into thinking she owns that
lumber.

Idolatry: To put a tree out of work.

Idolatry: to worship a forest.

Forest: in favor of holidays from work. Holidays: A light sauce.

Sauce: What happened when my wife returned early.

Telemetry: Repeating it three times!

Telemetry: "An Ash, an Oak, a Pine, a Birch, an Elder ... ", said the
teacher woodenly.

[Tim Bruening]

Pharaoh: A horizontal line of Egyptian monarchs.

[Larry Krzewinski]

Tim's back with a vengeance. I know what's going to happen on D Day.
Heaven help us all.

Larry
Hi Tim.

[Tim Bruening]

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

I too look forward to D Day, the 60th anniversary.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4018AE96...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Pharaoh: A horizontal line of Egyptian monarchs.
>

Is that the Bes you can do?

And if an automobile rams you in the backside, do you end up with a car
tush?

Wavy line,
Miserable looking owl,
Knotted string.

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

Converse: Against music or poetry.

Converse: Poetry written by prison inmates

Conrail: The Great Train Robbery.

Contact: Doesn't believe in politeness.

Contort: Criminal lawyers, or being against lawsuits.

Contrail: A prisoner escape route or being against logging trails.

Probate: Favoring the fishing industry.

Profile: In favor of computers.

[Tim Bruening]

Propain: A masochist.

Foreign: Likes wet weather.

Formica: In favor of any of a group of chemically and physically
related aluminum silicate minerals, common in igneous and
metamorphic rocks, characteristically splitting into flexible
sheets used in insulation and electrical equipment. Phew!

Forbodings: Has more than his fair share of bodings.

Foreskin: Afraid of being flayed, or is it 'Aflayed of being frayed'?

Foregone: In favor of not being here.

Forlorn: Likes nicely manicured areas of grass.

Formaldehide: In favor of damp leather with fungus growing on it.

Falafel: Likes spoons. In fact he's smoothing a football pitch out with
the back of one right now. He likes a level playing-field - and with
goal posts at either end.

Basalt: Salted sheep.

[Tim Bruening]

Former: In favour of an ancient Biblical balm. "Whddyah wanna give 'im a
balm for? It might bite 'im!!!"

Formost: In favor of greed and competition.

Conjugate: Not in favor of the 'Eye of a Needle.' Must be the rich man
from above - or his camel.

Conference: Against Liszt, or anyone else with the same forename in the
original lingo.

Contralto: Against the ultimate pedal appendages of persons who cause
trouble on the Usenet.

Concatenation: Against countries entirely populated by felines,
including Double Felix because it is one.

Condensation: Against people being made stupid.

Conform: Against long, low benches.

Confirm: Anti - Capitalism.

Concurr: Hates dogs!

Concert: Prefers to always bet on the losers.

[Tim Bruening]

Condense: Against crowding lots of houses in a small area.

Condense: Stupid criminal.

Profane: Likes Weather cocks, cock!

Property: In favour of the beverage made from the dried leaves of
Camellia sinensis, but only when prepared in the correct manner.

Progenitor: In favour of school caretakers.

Prologue: Timber enthusiast.

Pinesol: A sad household cleaner.

Joy: A happy household cleaner.

Lysol: An untruthful household cleaner.

[Tim Bruening]

Domestos: A household cleaner thrown out of the house for lying down on
the job.

Dettol: The fee you had to pay to drive away from the Supermarket with a
bottle of disinfectant.

Xenophobia: Fear of Xena Warrior Princess.

Comply: Wooden computers.

Compact: Small computers.

Compact: A computer treaty.

[Tim Bruening]

Reduce: The tennis game is tied again.

Reduce: Mussolini is back in power.

Subtract: A train underwater.

Duction: The process of becoming a duck.

Conduct: Against ducks.

Conduction: Against becoming a duck.

Reduction: To become a duck again.

Subtraction: How a sub pushes off against the ground.

Duct Tape: Used to tape together broken ducks.

Duct Tape: Recording of duck calls.

[Tim Bruening]

Duction: Ignoring a duck.

Conduct: A duck held in the state pen.

Conduction: Ignoring a duck held in the state pen.

Reduction: Once again ignoring a duck held in the state pen.

Subtraction: Where a sub ends up when it breaks it's spine diving.

"Three Degrees Up Bubble": The group The 3 Degrees have a "Menage ą
Quatre" with Bubble the stripper.

Subterfuge: What scientists use to separate the liquid from a sub.

Subterfuge: A sub spinning around with its rudder stuck.

Subordinate: What a sub's boring story did to someone named Nate.

Subordinate: Consuming the bum of a well known modern poet.

Peking: King of toilets.

[Tim Bruening]

Admission: Religious advertising.

Admit: Put on a glove.

Commit: Here glove, here glovy glovy glovy!

Commission: A church on the Internet.

Mitten: The 10th glove.

Remit: Put on the glove again.

Remission: To send out the preachers again.

Submit: A very wet glove.

Submission: A church under water.

[Tim Bruening]

Submit: What the relief pitcher wears.

Submission: The church SUBWAY sandwich shop employees belong to.

Mitten: What the tin man's baseball glove is made of.

Commission: What they call the mission of Viagra. If that mission
succeeds, we get an emission.

Emit: Glove on the Internet.

Emission: Another church on the Internet.

Porpoise: bad muscular co-ordination or bad manners and/or social
graces.

Prince of Wales: Very large, aquatic footprints.

[Tim Bruening]

Adverse: A hostile song.

Adverse: Add another song.

Adversity: A hostile city.

Converse: Singing criminal(s).

Diverse: Poem about coloring substances.

Reverse: To sing again.

Attract: What a train runs on.

Contract: Criminal railroad.

Retract: To go on the train again.

Subtract: What subway trains run on.

Subtract: A train underwater.

[Tim Bruening]

Advent: We need more ventilation.

Advent: Insert angry rant.

Adverse: Singing commercial.

Attract Anorak: What an Alpine train runs on, in my a pinion!

Aversion: One description of events.

Convent: Against angry rants.

Convent: A ranting criminal.

Converse: Against singing.

Contract: Against railroads.

Enginuity: A locomotive driver's pension.

[Tim Bruening]

Circuit: An electrical knight.

Purloin: A price for each sex act.

Sirloin: A very sexy knight.

Surround: A very fat knight.

Survive: A living knight.

X-Mas: What happens at an alien church.

ET: What aliens drink.

Congest: Against jokes.

Conquest: Against adventures.

Hiku: A government overthrow in a mountainous nation.

Baku: A sheep revolution.

[Tim Bruening]

Converse: Song about tennis shoes..

Converse: Song by or about criminals.

Adverse: Mathematical song.

Adverse: What they call the german who got the lowest score in math.

Adversity: What they call the german town that got the lowest score in
math.

Converse: What they call the german who's rated "the worse confidence
man".

Reverse: To sing again (actually to "...back up to the last chorus and
sing again").

Attract: The answer an indian gave to the question "Where's the train?"

Contract: What Godzilla ate at the Mexican restaurant (Chili Con tract)

Retract: To replace old railroad tracks.

Subtract: What underwater bloodhounds do to find lost submarines.

Engineers: What Native Americans hear with.

[Tim Bruening]

Circuit II: A set of components and instructions for building a Knight.

Cinarama: A Knight deciding whether to buy a new metal suit or spend his
money in a Whore House.

Projector: A hypodermic used by a Ho. Wurlitzer known fact that a lot of
them have habits. They'd catch cold otherwise.

Surance: Shouts a lot.

Sura: A Moslem Knight.

Saladin: A light lunch for same.

Surcingle: An unmarried Knight.

Surdez: That was his real name.

Surmount: A knight in the high country.

Surgery: Medical knight.

Servent: A knight in the pipes.

Serpent: A hissing knight.

Subtract: Whole neighborhood full of HUD housing...

[Tim Bruening]

Dedeuce - forgetting the score at a tennis match.

Enginears: Proximity detector for locomotives.

Racketeer - what a tennis player suffers from when his opponent wallops
him round the side of the head with the bat.

Umpire - Hunchback of Notre Dame on fire at a tennis match in spite of
thinking he's at a cricket match and loping around shouting, "The
bailes! The bailes!"

Car Barretta - what a priest wears while he's driving.

(If I've spelled it wrong, he's ballasted-well going along with a
resistance lamp on his head. Dangerous! It'll make him feel light
headed!)

Impose - what a male artist's model does.

Indisposition - how the artist would like him to stand.

Santa Claws - Edward Scissorhands gets a new job!

Muggy - a humid day just before Teuggy, Weggy and Thurggy.

Icicle - a vocal utterance on a very cold day.

[Tim Bruening]

Cervix: The Knight who created Vaporub.

Surface: The title bestowed upon the mobster "Scarface"

Circumcise: Knighted for finding a new way to measure ejaculation

Circumvent: Knighted for creating the reservoir-tipped condom

Circus: Knighted for his profanity

Survey (first name "Oy"): The first jewish knight

Conquest: a pace to put your seashell

Conquest: Prisoners in search of an escape route.

Prevail: Before the curtain.

[Tim Bruening]

Detail: The story.

Postman: Man who follows man.

Retale: To retell a story.

[Tim Bruening]

Napa: Sleeping Dad.

Seralbumin: Looked after the chickens.

Serampur: Organised picknicks.

Serapias: A cheerful Knight - as Larry!

Serapiss: Incontinent Knight who kept bees.

Serass: Was a male prostitute. He Whore.

Serbus: In charge of transport.

Serenade: A singing Kioght.

Serendipity: A Knight who stopped sad situations from continuing.

Serdes: Blimey! They've knighted O'Connor!

Serum: A West Indian Knight with alcoholic bodily fluids!

[Tim Bruening]

Serfling: Very good with a spear.

Sericocarpus: Knight with the body of a fish.

Seriema: Kosher Knight who was always calling for his mum!

Seriflux: A Knight suffering from a Hiatus Hernia.

Serivieta: His Pop used to join armour components together with metal
pins.

Serline: A draftsman Knight.

Sermis: A very poor archer.

Sermocinatio: A Knight who would always take the piss out of one's
headgear.

Sernas: Another incontinent Knight.

Seroalbuminuria: A Knight with an Anus fixation.

[Tim Bruening]

Seronda: Knight who used to ride a Japanese motorbike!

Seropus: Used to compose music for King 1/2er's Court.

Serosae: Another composer Knight who sore into the future and wrote the
American National Anthem: "Osae did you see . . ."

Serotin: Knight who wore very cheap armour.

Surface: The Knight comes up from the Deep.

[Tim Bruening]

Steel Wool: Comes from iron sheep.

Surfing: The Knight rides the waves.

Serenity: A calm Knight.

Surrender: Cowardly Knight, or a Knight skilled at plastering walls, or
a Knight who works in a knackers, boiling down dead animals' bits for
the fat.

Surculate: Tardy Snooker-playing Knight.

Surgical: A Knight who is the original ego of Mr. Hyde.

Suroxide: Knight dressed in leather.

Surphul: Knight with small appetite.

Surrendry: They've finally knighted a top Snooker player.

[Tim Bruening]

Ceropegia fusca: The Knight that pays for pink.

Ovaltine: Fat teenager.

Serpentine: The Knight who pens stories about teenagers.

Search: The Knight who's always stifling a sneeze.

Surgery: The Knight who created the jury system.

[Tim Bruening]

Surrupticious: A Knight who tears pieces of thin paper.

Surcingle: A bachelor Knight.

Surrenderor: A Knight with terrible flatulence.

Surveillance: Knight who rode around with the piece of thin material
worn to protect or hide the face from off of a Lady's hat on the
end of his big, long weapon!

Survey: Knight of opinion polls.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:4018946C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Concave: Against spelunking.
>
> Meniscus: Emmanuel's favourite swear-word.
> >
> > Content: Against camping.
>
> Confusion: Hates energy from the Sun.

> >
> > Contrail: Against hiking.
> >
> > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
>

> Contempt: Against prick-teasers.

Comtemp: Against substitute workers.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:4018AE96...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Pharaoh: A horizontal line of Egyptian monarchs.
> >
> Is that the Bes you can do?
>
> And if an automobile rams you in the backside, do you end up with a car
> tush?

Pyramid: Center of dock.

[Tim Bruening]

Rumble: Druken male cow.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

Angler: Surveyor.

>
> Asking: King of backsides.
>
> Awaking: King of Travel Agents.
>
> Banking: Explosives expert.

Beacon: Buzzing criminal.

Biking: A gay monarch.

> Braking: King of donkeys.

Cracking: Drug lord.

Flaking: Snow lord.

Hiking: Lord of the mountains.

Liable: Fibbing male cow.

Liking: Satan.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3FD033DF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Forecast: 4 actors.
> >
> > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> >
> > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> >
> Telecast: Greek actors a long way away.

Comcast: Computerized actors.

Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.

[Tim Bruening]

Spencer: Knight of deficit spending.

[Tim Bruening]

Chesapeake: Chess tournament on a mountain top.

Advert: Add the color green.

Revert: To turn green again.

[Tim Bruening]

Eden: A home on the Internet.

Purgatory: Get rid of those british polly ticks from your hard drive..

Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.

Helmet: Hat of the Devil.

Satan: A devil of a sunburn.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3FEDBE90...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> > Spencer: Knight of deficit spending.
> >

> Managing Director (President) of a high priced store chain - Marks and
> Spensive.

Certificate: An authentic knight.

[Tim Bruening]

Borders: Doors for wild pigs to go through.

Circumspect: What a Knight Inspector does.

Confundis Charm: A spell for laundering money.

Draco: Fire breathing reptilian company.

Harry Potter: Bearded maker of ceramic containers.

Hufflepuff: What the wolf did to blow down the pigs' houses.

Quidditch: 5 ditches.

Please don't Snape at me, or throw me for a Lupin.

[Tim Bruening]

Cunningham: A clever actor.

Ham Radio: A pig broadcast.

Hamburger: Pig Town resident.

Hamlet: Pig rental agreement.

Hamper: Papa pig.

Hammock: Pig taunting.

Hamburg: A frozen pig floating in the ocean.

[Tim Bruening]

Hamper: Papa pig.

Hammock: Pig taunting.

Hamburg: A frozen pig floating in the ocean.

Smoking Gun: A cross between the NRA and the cigarette industry.

Vulcanization: The process whereby rubber grows pointed ears and starts
saying "Live long and prosper".:)

[Tim Bruening]

Defer: To remove one's hair.

Prefer: Before you grow hair.

Refer: To grow hair again.

[Tim Bruening]

Serampur: Organised picknicks.

Serenade: A singing Kioght.

Serfling: Very good with a spear.

[Tim Bruening]

Admit: A mathematician's glove.

Emit: A computer's glove.

Helmet: Satan's glove.

Hermit: A lady's glove, sitting all alone.

Mitten: Glove of Generation X.

Ramble: Male cross between a sheep and a cow.

Remit: A glove that flies back on your hand the moment you take it off.

Submit: Neptune's glove.

Summit: Another mathematician's glove.

[Tim Bruening]

Miss Sing: A lost singer.

Miss Spell: A fumbling witch.

Miss Take: A bumbling actress.

Miss Understand: A stumbling psychologist.

[Tim Bruening]

Miss Demeanor: A nice girl who commits petty crimes.

Miss Fire: A girl who can't hit the broad side of a barn.

Miss Sing: A female singer who can't carry a tune in a bucket.

Periscope: 2 bottles of mouthwash (Scope mouthwash).

[Tim Bruening]

Firmamit: Celestial glove.

Kismit: Glove with a destiny.

Linimit: Medicated glove.

Ornamit: Small ceramic glove.

Peppermit: you take a stack of 'em and throw them.. like in a
snow ball fight.. and the other person looks at-choo and catches one in
the face and on account of the pepper, goes Kachoo!

Testamit: Entrance exam to bible school. Glove used to swear there-on...

[Tim Bruening]

Crossing: A musical religious symbol.

Hissing: Song made by a snake.

Icing: A frozen song.

Massing: A heavy song.

Missing: A girl who can't carry a tune.

Musing: A singing cow or cat.

Passing: A musical mountain path.

Passing: Sung by cars as they pass each other.

Rising: A song that makes you soar.

[Tim Bruening]

Analysing: Singing from the wrong end with a Descant voice.

Arising: A very strange and twisted song.

Buck-passing: Song by the father of a stag.

Bunsing: A US fart! (An animal found at the Cape of Good Hope,
resembling the ferret, but twice as large. When pursued, it emits an
intolerable stench.)

Ceasing: A shanty. (No, not the African tribe!)

Ceasing: A song sung by a mermaid.

Reflute: To play music again.

Refruit: The tree has grown more oranges for me to pick.

[Tim Bruening]

Abduct: A kidnapped, Muslim waterfowl.

Leprechaun: A convention of people suffering from a loathsome disease.

Lepre-Cohen: A diminutive, magical, semi-religious Irish-Jew.

Motel: A car talks.

Pigmint: Mint left on the pillows in pig motels.

[Tim Bruening]

Conduct: Electrical waterfowl.

Conduct: Against ducks or pipes.

Deduct: 4th waterfowl in the alphabet.

Reduct: To quack again.

Overload: The higher part of a mine.

Irrelevant: Having nothing to do with a pachyderm's auditory organs.

Impeccable: Resistant to birds' beaks.

Sincere: One who can discern misbehavior.

[Tim Bruening]

Congregate: Gate that attracts a crowd.

Conjugate: Gate that is good with verbs.

Mitigate: External portal festooned with gloves.

Imitation: Pointing out an Indian glove manufacturer.

Remit Again: Sad WW2 Song by Vera Lynn.

[Tim Bruening]

Inquest: Member of cast of adventure film.

Bequest; Entomological adventure.

Conquest 2: Jimmy Durante searching for his missing rhinal organ.

Interrupt Request: To start another subroutine.

Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory
constructed long ago.

Perfume: Unit of pricing of pollution.

Perfume: Unit of pricing of anger.

[Tim Bruening]

Invincibull: Big mean bad-assed bull..

Label: To have sex with a male cow.

Labor: To have sex with a wild pig.

Edible: A bull that's a good cook.

Parable: A story telling bull.

Nimble: A gymnastic or acrobatic bull.

Gymnastic and Acrobatic: Nimble tics.

[Tim Bruening]

Dungeoness: Female gaoler (US: jailer) Two peoples divided by a common
whassname, er, thingy, er, oojimaflip . . .

Empire: Big burning heap of typographical standard spaces.

Umpire: A big burning heap of electrical sub-stations.

Bison: What you cook a podding in.

Pudding Bison: A pregnant one. (UK slang for pregnant: being in the
Pudding Club) two peoples div . . oh, sod it!

What's a Hindu? It lays iggs! (Noah Fence.)

Antidote: An ant that cures poison victims.

Aspie: A urinating donkey.

Biplane: An aircraft that mates with both genders.

Deacon: A criminal demon.

D. Mon: Between D. Sun and D. Tues.

D. Tain: A demon prison guard.

Enormous: A very big rodent.

Giant: Very big ant.

Gigantic: Very big tick.

Incredible: An unbelievable male cow.

[Tim Bruening]

Alpine: The sad 2000 Democratic Presidential candidate.

Cannibal: Male cow in a can.

Columbus: A bus that goes across the ocean.

Coloumbus: Electric bus that's all charged up...

Or maybe a cloud?? a coolie'O'nimbus??Hedgehog: Pig that hogs hedges.

Divine: What grapes grow on.

Panama: Mother of a frying pan.

Panda: Father of that pan.

Pumpkin: Children of the pump.

[Tim Bruening]

Vulnerable: Easily defeated bull.

Trouble: Another mean bull.

Kabul: Afghan Bull.

Frantic: Excitable tic.

Romantic: A tic in love.

Rustic: Oxygenated iron tic.

Attic: A high tic.

[Tim Bruening]

Dung Shao Ping. Sewage farm worker stating that he has finished making a
number of domestic purchases.

African Polly Titian who uses huge amounts of electricity: Mega Watty.

Renaissance Italian composer who invented stabilisation for sheep, had
no hair and did paintings into wet plaster on walls: Giro Lambo Fresco
Baldy!

Double: 2 bulls.

Parable: 2 more bulls.

Noble: Zero bulls.

Tremble: Bull at the San Andreas Fault.

[Tim Bruening]

Constable: Against horse stalls.

Constable: Against the bulls staying.

Damnation: Country of horse mothers.

Mareination: Country of female horses.

[Tim Bruening]

Automobile: Why the car committed murder.

Car Battery: The act of assaulting an automobile.

Celtics: What tick vendors do.

Commit: Electronic glove.

Toyota: Toy Yoda.

Yoko: The yo-yo company.

Yoho: to say 'hello' to a hooker..

Yo Hola: I hello.

Yoda: Hi, Dad!

Yolo: Hi, ground!

[Tim Bruening]

Circuit: An electrical Knight.

Circulation: A library or spinning Knight.

Circus: A swearing Knight.

Sirloin: Knight of Sex.

Serpent: Snake Knight.

Servant: Plumping Knight.

Servile: Very Evil Knight.

Surface: Knight of many disguises.

Surmount: Very tall Knight.

Surprise: A knight in charge of game shows.

Surrender: The Knight of Destruction.

Surrender: Knight of Meat Processing.

Surround: Very fat Knight.

Surgeon: An operating Knight.

Surtax: Knight in charge of the IRS.

Sir, do you like fur?

Furgot: The fur is not fake.

[Tim Bruening]

Vulnerable: Easily defeated bull.

Trouble: Another mean bull.

Kabul: Afghan Bull.

Frantic: Excitable tic.

Rustic: Oxygenated iron tic.

Attic: A high tic.

Dung Shao Ping. Sewage farm worker stating that he has finished making a

[Tim Bruening]

ADD: A condition that compels you to do math.

ADDer: A snake that likes to do math, but is easliy distracted.

ASPie: A snake that has trouble socializing, is often anxious for no
good reason, and resists change.

Bipolar: Farewell to the Arctic.

D. Fine: A demon that issues parking tickets.

DAMP Symdrome: Condition that makes you sweat.

Down Syndrome: A disease that makes you sink.

NT: Favorite tea of neurotypicals.

[Tim Bruening]

D. Fine: A dictionary demon.

D. Fine: A parking cop demon.

D. Test: The most horrible demon around.

D. Vine: The friendliest demon around.

D. Vore: A very hungry demon.

[Tim Bruening]

D. Capitated: A headless demon.

D. Mented: A demon that loves to drive others crazy

D. Vorak: A musical demon

D. Lirious: A dizzy demon

D. Cent: A nice, one penny demon.

[Tim Bruening]

Babble: Cross between a sheep and a male cow.

Bubble: A fat male cow.

Bumble: Disreputable bull-bee crossbreed.

Crumble: Disintegrating bull.

Humble: Bull-hummingbird crossbreed.

Hortense: A nervous prostitute.

Hubble: Very far seeing bull.

Gable: Homosexual bull.

Kabul: Afghan bull.

Lambda: Male sheep that has bred.

Rubble: A ruined bull.

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

Centimeter: Smelly unit of measure.

Compound: A 454 gram computer (IIRC).

Cotton: 2,000 pound bed.

Damnation: A country of mother deers.

Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.

Donation: A nation of female deer.

Gramma: Mother of the Metric system.

Grampa: Father of the Metric system.

Kilobyte: a very large meal.

Kilohertz: The Pepto-Bismol you take for relief from your kilobyte.

Kilobyte: A deadly meeting.

Kilometer: What 1,000 meter readers read.

Kilogram: 1,000 grandparents.

Megaphone: One million phones.

Microphone: 1 one millionth of a phone.

[Tim Bruening]

Constable: Against horse stalls.

Stablize: Fibs about horse housing.

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

Complain: A computer the size of the Great Plains.

Comrade: Radioactive computer.

Compact: A very small, dense computer.

Compost: A decaying computer.

D. Cay: Demon on an island.

Hammer: A pig that packs quite a punch.

[nemo]

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:401B1B68...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4018AE96...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Pharaoh: A horizontal line of Egyptian monarchs.
> > >
> > Is that the Bes you can do?
> >
> > And if an automobile rams you in the backside, do you end up with a car
> > tush?
>
> Pyramid: Center of dock.
>
. . . or you've got caught in the middle of a bunch of fireworks going off.

[mike wheeELer]

In article <VrUSb.33119$pD4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:

Or you are looking intently at the center of the dock.

[Tim Bruening]

mike wheeELer wrote:

> In article <XrUSb.33120$pD4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,

> ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >
> >
> >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> >news:401B735C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Comrade: the afor mentioned computer had chicken Kiev for lunch.

Rabies: Radioactive buzzing insects that make radioactive honey.

[nemo]

mike wheeELer <whee...@tns.net> wrote in message
news:401c9...@127.0.0.1...

As long as it's from the outside - espeacially if teh Judge is
bare-chested - Justice Trousers!

[Tim Bruening]

Nitrate: Price of a hotel room, or price of a prostitute.

[Tim Bruening]

Overload: The higher part of a mine.

Irrelevant: Having nothing to do with a pachyderm's auditory organs.

Impeccable: Resistant to birds' beaks.

Sincere: One who can discern misbehavior.

Your inability to speak isn't permanent; it's just aphasia go through.

Social we look for some more puns?

[Tim Bruening]

Congregate: Gate that attracts a crowd.

Conjugate: Gate that is good with verbs or sex.

Mitigate: External portal festooned with gloves.

Imitation: Pointing out an Indian glove manufacturer.

Remit Again: Sad WW2 Song by Vera Lynn.

[Tim Bruening]

Inquest: Member of cast of adventure film.

Bequest; Entomological adventure.

Conquest 2: Jimmy Durante searching for his missing rhinal organ.

Interrupt Request: To start another subroutine.

[Tim Bruening]

Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory
constructed long ago.

Perfume: Unit of pricing of pollution.

Perfume: Unit of pricing of anger.

[Tim Bruening]

Invincibull: Big mean bad-assed bull..

Label: To have sex with a male cow.

Labor: To have sex with a wild pig.

Edible: A bull that's a good cook.

Parable: A story telling bull.

Nimble: A gymnastic or acrobatic bull.

Gymnastic and Acrobatic: Nimble tics.

[Tim Bruening]

Antidote: An ant that cures poison victims.

Antidote and mares eat oats and little lambs eat ivy -
Diddlyum dedoo then they die! Ivy's poisonous.

Aspie: A urinating donkey.

Osprey: Urinating equine

Unanimous: Agreement at a rodents' Union Meeting

Merry Christ Mouse: Rodent under the mistletoe with a paper hat on and
drunk.

Hip a pot a mouse: A 60s rodent with a spliff saying, "Hey. Like squeak,
man!"

Momser mouses: Mousebegotten.

Leader of Italian mice years ago: Mousolini.

Rodent with painted-on mouse-tache: Groucho Mousx.

Rodent who's forgotten his name: Anonymouse.

What rodents put in their ham sandwiches: Mousetard.
Diesel Doopher nough!

And if your criminal demon becomes radio-active, he has to be Deacon
taminated.

Mao: What cats say.

Mao-Sedung: Mouse poop.

[Tim Bruening]

Dungeoness: Female gaoler (US: jailer) Two peoples divided by a common
whassname, er, thingy, er, oojimaflip . . .

Empire: Big burning heap of typographical standard spaces.

Umpire: A big burning heap of electrical sub-stations.

Bison: What you cook a podding in.

Pudding Bison: A pregnant one. (UK slang for pregnant: being in the
Pudding Club) two peoples div . . oh, sod it!

What's a Hindu? It lays iggs! (Noah Fence.)

Antidote: An ant that cures poison victims.

Aspie: A urinating donkey.

Biplane: An aircraft that mates with both genders.

Deacon: A criminal demon.

D. Mon: Between D. Sun and D. Tues.

D. Tain: A demon prison guard.

Enormous: A very big rodent.

Giant: Very big ant.

Gigantic: Very big tick.

Incredible: An unbelievable male cow.

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

Alpine: The sad 2000 Democratic Presidential candidate.

Cannibal: Male cow in a can.

Columbus: A bus that goes across the ocean.

Coloumbus: Electric bus that's all charged up...

Or maybe a cloud?? a coolie'O'nimbus??Hedgehog: Pig that hogs hedges.

Divine: What grapes grow on.

Panama: Mother of a frying pan.

Panda: Father of that pan.

Pumpkin: Children of the pump.

[Tim Bruening]

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3F4DA356...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Jonquil: Pen belonging to an ancient scribe called John who grows
> Daffodils.
> > >
> > > Gosling: The action of an ill-mannered person drinking soup.
> >
> > Admit: Mathematician's glove.
> >
> > Helmet: Satan's glove.
> >
> > Hermit: Glove belonging to a woman, or a glove that wants to be left
> alone.
> >
> > Submit: Glove of a mermaid.
> >
> Permit: Glove with more valent bonds than usual.

Omit: Between N-mit and P-mit.

Omission: The forgotten church.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3F4DA43F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Toshiba: A Japanese sheep towing company.
> >
> > Written: Edit 10.
> >
> > Bitten: A tiny part of the 10th computer file.
> >
> > Frosty: Frozen tea.
> >
> > Glacier: A frozen knight.
> >
> > Icicle: A frozen bike.
> >
> Snowflake: Someone who goas mad when it snows.

Bipolar: A deranged white bear that lives in the Arctic.

Ticket: Baby tick.

Ticket: Cat-tick crossbreed.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3F4DA56D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Tahoe: Used to remove Ta weeds in a Ta garden.
> >
> > Pollutant: A very dirty ant.
> >
> > Emission: Electronic church.
> >
> Emmanuel: Instruction book for a PC
>
> - and you'll have a strage feeling that someone very important indeed is
> looking over your shoulder while you're reading it!

Ebay: Where computers go swimming, boating, and fishing, E-Fish Cent
Lee.

Erase: Race of people inside a computer. Read James P Hogan's
"Entoverse"
for more info on such a race.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3F4DA80A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Algae Bra: Mathematical breast coverings
> >
> > Co-Bra: Breast coverings that really bite!
> >
> > Logo: To go underground.
> >
> > Transfer: To move mammalian body coverings.
> >
> Boa Constrictor: Cheap washing powder that shrinks feathered scarves.
>
> Legend: Foot.
>
> Transmogrification: The process of becoming a cat.
>
> http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=51439&dict=CALD

Orientation: The process of becoming an Asian.

[Tim Bruening]

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3F4DA874...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Poultry: Wood suitable for polish polish.
> >
> > Conservatory: Save the rainforests! etc...
> >
> > Tremendous: Excellent sapling repairers.
> >
> > Sophistry: A tree with a built in seat.
> >
> > Idolatry: To put a tree out of work.
> >
> > Telemetry: Repeating it three times!
> >
> > Lodgepole Pine: The tree misses the large Pole.
> >
>
> Logarithm: Musical tree.
>
> Hornbeam: Floodlit musical tree.
>
> Telepath: A long footway.

Algorithm: Musical Presidential candidate.

[Tim Bruening]

BT: Buzzing tea.

CT: An antimatter drink.

ET: Alien tea.

MT: Tea that makes you high and empty.

[Tim Bruening]

Hedge Hog: A person who hogs the hedges along the property line.

Hedge Fund: What one saves for to purchase hedges for the property line.

[Tim Bruening]

Hedge Hunter: A person searching for plants to build a hedge along
property line.

[Tim Bruening]

Hedge your bets: using the hedges along the property line to hide
gambling.

Hedgepoge: mixing differing types of plantings.