Higher Source 1

[Keith E. Sullivan]

ANOTHER BODY FOUND!!!

Apparently one of the less astute members of the Heaven's Gate cult was
found under the kitchen sink, behind the Comet.

Jonathan Levine <jona...@canuck.com>
Keith Bostic <bos...@bostic.com>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=
ANDROMEDA THE BEAUTIFUL

Oh, beautiful for spaceship skies
There's nothing left to gain
For purple shrouded casualties
On this here astral plane

(CHORUS)
ANDROMEDA, ANDROMEDA
WE KNOW IT'S A LONG HAUL.
OUR WAY WE'LL SPEED PAST GANYMEDE
WITH PHENOBARBITOL.

Oh, Nike shod Beneath our bods
So lest you think we blew it
The pudding cups, we lapped them up
While chanting once "Just Do It"

(CHORUS)

I think the fare to go up there
Is just a bit too high.
It's not five bucks. The thing that sucks
Is that you first must die.

(CHORUS)

Michael Stadler <Michael...@tpl.org>
Nin...@aol.com
Peter Langston <p...@langston.com>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
CALIFORNIA CULT MEMBERS

The cause of death in the mass suicide of 39 computer cult members in
California has been determined. It seems that they all died of
asphyxiation ...

... they couldn't get their "WINDOWS" open.

Michael Soucy <mso...@banking.interest.com>
Best of: Humor <tha...@netusa1.net>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
HIGHER SOURCE

Q. Why did 39 people living in a million dollar mansion commit suicide?

A. Because they were keeping up with the Jones'.

Sorrel Jakins <sor...@byu.edu>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
TOP 10 REASONS FOR SAN DIEGO WEB CULT SUICIDES

10. Their domain got screwed up by InterNIC.

9. They're waiting for a Frames page to finish downloading... In their
next life.

8. Last resort publicity stunt to raise traffic on their websites...

7. Microsoft coming out with similar web pages next month

6. Sued over use of domain "viveka.com" by dog-food company

5. Couldn't read email because their local AOL POP was always busy

4. When they got on, they read one too many spam emails.

3. Then they got less money back from AOL because they actually got
on...

2. Suddenly realized, "Hey, this Web stuff is stupid!"

1. Couldn't bear the pain of another major Windows upgrade.

alp...@netcom14.netcom.com
Sean Eric Fagan <s...@Kithrup.COM>
Keith Bostic <bos...@bostic.com>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
TOP 10 REASONS WHY 39 HIGH SOURCE CULT MEMBERS COMMITTED SUICIDE

10. Disgusted by John Wayne Bobbit's amazing recovery.

9. Mistook "We'll Pump you, up!" with "We'll Beam you up."

8. NFL wouldn't sanction their team -- the San Diego 39ers

7. Didn't know what to do with all the left over Vodka from the "Welcome
the Comet" Party.

6. Sick and tired of people referring to their group as the Do-nuts.

5. What the heck, Just Do It!

4. Best viewed in Do-nutScape.

3. Tired of living in a shabby mansion, wanted to move to a Higher rent
location

2. Good way to get hits on your home page.

1. Just so they can keep up with the Joneses.

Crazy Diamond <"<spam_tag>"@pacbell.net>
--
Keith E. Sullivan <KSul...@worldnet.att.net>
Owner of Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List
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Lyin' ain't harder than tellin' the truth,
And truth is the perfect disguise. --Kris Kristofferson