FACIALLY DISADVANTAGED/ADVANTAGED:
He has a face that would harelip the governor.
She's so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the
dog
to play with her.
She was so ugly I gnawed my arm off the next morning so I wouldn't wake
her up.
She's so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
She's prettier than a red wagon full of speckled pups.
She's finer than frog hair.
MOTIVATIONALLY INCLINED/DISINCLINED:
He took off like a scalded dog.
He's so busy you'd think he was twins.
He's so slow he's got to speed up to stop.
OVER-SCHEDULED:
I'm busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
I'm busier than a one-legged cat covering up sh_ _.
I've been busier than a set of jumper cables at a family reunion.
OVER-IMBIBED:
He was so drunk he couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle.
PHILANTHROPICALLY RELUCTANT:
He's tighter than the bark on a tree.
He can squeeze a dollar 'til it hollers.
FINANCIALLY ABLED/DISABLED:
Ted Turner is richer than clabbered cream.
He's got enough money to burn a wet elephant.
I'm so broke I can't pay attention.
I'm so broke I ain't got eyewater to cry with.
MORALLY EXCEPTIONAL:
He's full of more sh_ _ than a Christmas turkey.
YOUTH IMPAIRED:
He's been around since Hector was a pup.
She's two years older than dirt.
He's so old he could have been a waiter at the Last Supper.
METEOROLOGICALLY INCONVENIENCED:
It's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.
It's hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.
It's hotter than nine nekkid women in a Volkswagen.
It's so dry the river only runs twice a week.
It's colder than a well-digger's ass in Idaho.
NURTIONALLY ANTICIPATORY:
You bite into one of them biscuits, it'd make a puppy pull a freight
train.
DIMENSIONALLY REMARKABLE:
He's so skinny he has to run around in the shower to get wet.
She's so short you can see her feet on her driver's license.
EMOTIONALLY AGITATED:
I'll be on you like white on rice.
I'm nervous as a whore in church.
He's got his back up.
He's all bent out of shape.
She could start a fight in an empty house.
UNWORKABLE:
That dog won't hunt.
DEPARTURE INEVITABLE:
Pee on the fire and call in the dogs, the hunt's over.
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(Buddhism, Mercedes-Benz, Jokes & More)
"Don't be a Buddhist. Be a Buddha!"
Don't forget:
The ol' "Double sacker" phrase. ....
a siphon hose can be known as an "Oklahoma credit card"
The coffee's so strong, you can float a pistol in it.
Fell over like a relative at an open bar.
I've had fun before. This ain't it.
Don't buy nothin' with a handle on it. It could mean work.
Slicker than deer guts on a doorknob.
He's got his own "reserved" spot at the bail bondsman's.
Had so much fun, they called 911!
etc.
Eric Via <eri...@airmail.net> wrote in article
<74F164D9119407B3.B3FAF0C6...@library-proxy.airnews.ne
t>...
> SOUTHERN SAYINGS:
> FACIALLY DISADVANTAGED/ADVANTAGED:
> He has a face that would harelip the governor.
> She's so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the
> dog
> to play with her.
> She was so ugly I gnawed my arm off the next morning so I wouldn't wake
>
> her up.
> She's so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
> She's prettier than a red wagon full of speckled pups.
> She's finer than frog hair.
That woman/man ain't just ugly, she's/he's FUGLY.(fuckin' ugly)
> FINANCIALLY ABLED/DISABLED:
> Ted Turner is richer than clabbered cream.
> He's got enough money to burn a wet elephant.
> I'm so broke I can't pay attention.
> I'm so broke I ain't got eyewater to cry with.
I'm so broke I'd have to fart twice to have a cent(scent) in my pocket.
.......so ugly she would make a freight train take a dirt road.
Keith
George1 wrote in message <6thvhg$9...@news2.tds.net>...
|Keith
|
|George1 wrote in message <6thvhg$9...@news2.tds.net>...
|>obviously, this post is a total fabrication. There are NO southern sayings
|>using words of over two syllables.
Gawd Dang - it
Actually there are, but you Yankee boys aren't that literate.
--
W. Madison
Expert in all things Southern
"Visualize whirled peas."
In article <35FDED...@bellsouth.net>,
mad...@bellsouth.net wrote:
> George1 wrote:
> >
> > obviously, this post is a total fabrication. There are NO southern sayings
> > using words of over two syllables.
> >
>
> Actually there are, but you Yankee boys aren't that literate.
>
> --
> W. Madison
> Expert in all things Southern
> "Visualize whirled peas."
>
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http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
Obviously this boy ain't the brightest button in the box. Ya'll come back now,
hear?
Zoe
......... I apologize. I meant when I wrote "Yaknowthemcoybowssuk" that it
was both a southern saying here in Dallas and of all things, a single word.
Which of course can be ascertained by the fact that there are no spaces
between sylables which add up to 6. Therefore, I would submit to all that
this successfully disproves the above statement.
>
There are no persons who don't nitpick.
Thats not true. Think about it.
"What up with that piece of string?"
"It's full of knots."
Jedi Tom
ICQ#: 1991053
Jedi Tom
The DataPad
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