Company's New Policies

[jaugu...@verizon.net]

Sick Leave: NO EXCUSE.... We no longer accept your doctor's statement as
proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work.

Death: Other than your own, this is NO excuse. There is nothing you can do
for the deceased, and we are sure that someone with a lesser position can make
all the necessary arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in late
afternoon, we will be glad to let you off 1 hour early provided your share of
the work is ahead of schedule.

Leave of Absence: Example, for an operation. We no longer allow this
practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an
operation, unless you can have it done after work and recover in time
for the next day's work.

Death: Your own. This is an acceptable excuse, but we would like two
weeks notice. We feel it is your duty to teach your replacement your
job.

Restroom: In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical
order. Those whose last names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 to 8:15.
"B" will go from 8:15 to 8:30, etc.

Management