Parody On The New Mr. Humor, 29 April 04
Tim Bruening
a play written by William Shakespeare instead of going out to dinner?
A: I would rather get a Big Mac, Beth!!!
TB: Mac, Beth. Mac-beth. Macbeth is a character in a Shakespeare play
(Hamlet?). Get
it??? Ha Ha Ha!!!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
Or was in "A Midsummer Night's Dream"? I haven't read Shakespeare for
awhile. I do remember being chilled by "Othello" as Iago made Othello think
that his wife was cheating on him, causing him to murder her!
Methuselah Jones
Bruening of alt.humor.puns make plain:
Q: Why did the art collector lose the bid at the art auction?
A: He didn't have enough Monet!
WTF: Monet, Claude (b. Nov. 14, 1840, Paris, Fr. -- d. Dec. 5, 1926,
Giverny) French painter, initiator, leader, and unswerving advocate of
the Impressionist style. He is regarded as the archetypal Impressionist
in that his devotion to the ideals of the movement was unwavering
throughout his long career, and it is fitting that one of his pictures
-- Impression: Sunrise (Musée Marmottan, Paris; 1872) -- gave the group
its name. Get it??? Ha Ha Ha!!!
--
Methuselah
"If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it."
-- Albert Einstein
Methuselah Jones
Bruening of alt.humor.puns make plain:
>
>
Actually, Macbeth is from the play "Macbeth".
--
Methuselah
"I don't like electrons; they've always had a negative influence on
society."
-- Chris Lipe
nemo
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4091DE96...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Raving Thespians:
Arrrrghgh!!
Hot potato
Orchestra Stalls
Got to make amense!!!!
(Blackadder)
You work it out!
nemo
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Play hockey?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Play hockey?
Tim Bruening
Sheila Dundee wrote:
> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > On Sat, 15 Nov 2003 10:48:32 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> >
> >> fredm...@the.PC wrote:
> >>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> >>> news:<3fb22b71$0$20488$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> >>>> fredm...@the.PC wrote:
> >>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:<3fb029ee$0$3787$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> >>>>>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>>>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> On Mon, 10 Nov 2003 21:48:16 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >>>>>>>> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating
> >>>>>>>> about:
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>>> ynotssor wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> After careful consideration by a team of government
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> generic name of mycoxafloppin.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin,
> >>>>>>>>>>>>> mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course, ibepokin.
> >>>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>> That got a rise out of me.
> >>>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> But I've heard that's not hard.
> >>>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>> Let's meat and find out. :-)
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> OK - I like to chew the fat
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> That'll bison time.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> She wants some of me jerky, too.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> What's your beef? Don't want me to see your raw hide?
> >>>>>
> >>>>> It's the tanning he'll get that he should be concerned about.
> >>>>
> >>>> You've suede me.
> >>>
> >>> You mean I am now privy to your calves ?
> >>
> >> Not until I have herd ewe will love me for heifer and heifer!!
> >>
> >
> > I want moo of these puns.
>
> Do they get you more horny than the udder ones?
Kabul: Afghan bull.
Cobble: Stony bull.
Under Ling: Chinese subordinate.
Tim Bruening
"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message news:<3fb570de$0$14055$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> It's settled only if you promise to love lea in return. You'll have
> two calves by me and they'll be named heifer and... heifer ?
Patrick Eweing: Flying sheep.
nemo
Underdog: Romulus and Remus.
nemo
Ewbank: Flying sheep turning while carrying carpet sweepers.
nemo
Thought that was Bully Off - or is that a mouldering male cow?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Play hockey?
Hockey: Key to a sport played on ice.
Tim Bruening
A. Mc. of alt.humor.puns make plain:
> On Mon, 26 Apr 2004 19:26:30 -0500, Methuselah Jones
> <methu...@altgeek.org> found these unused words floating about:
>
>>Carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the last words of
>>nemo of alt.humor.puns make plain:
>>
>>>> Mark responded, "Yes, but Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
>>>>
>>>
>>> Another Nemo original masterpiece with the preamble expanded to hide
>>> the BLATANT PLAGERISM!!!!
>>
>>I beg your pardon, but the punch line came from a book titled "Jest in
>>Pun", written by Bil Keane (of Family Circus fame) in 1966, of which I
>>had an original edition. If your claim is that you originated it
>>before then, you'll have to take that up with Mr. Keane.
>>
>>The story part is entirely *my* original material.
>
> You'll soon learn about nemo ... he's 20,000 leagues ahead of all!
The Fish King!
Tim Bruening
Methuselah Jones wrote:
> Carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the last words of J.
> A. Mc. of alt.humor.puns make plain:
>
> > On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 22:26:08 +1000, "Pollywolly" <po...@atjfaq.com>
> > found these unused words floating about:
> >
> >>J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>> On Mon, 26 Apr 2004 10:22:38 +1000, "Pollywolly" <po...@atjfaq.com>
> >>> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>
> >>>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>>>> On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 20:57:22 +1000, "Pollywolly"
> >>>>> <po...@atjfaq.com> found these unused words floating about:
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> Dougal wrote:
> >>>>>>> On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 20:54:25 +1000, "Pollywolly"
> >>>>>>> <po...@atjfaq.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> Dougal wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 20:50:22 +1000, "Pollywolly"
> >>>>>>>>> <po...@atjfaq.com> wrote:
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>> You tartine!!
> >>>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> Brie have yourself.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> Camembert and say that.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Do I have to? I'm cheesed off at this moment.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> I was wondering what that blue vein in your neck was.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Be stilton my beating heart ...
> >>>>
> >>>> Sit on this cheddar, you'll be all right soon.
> >>>
> >>> Fromage to youth ... thanks!
> >>
> >>Youth sometimes comes from cottage
> >
> > There was a large curd and a small curd until sa damn idiot blew 'em
> > away.
>
> Now, don't get curd awhey.
Do you know any good Kurdishes.
nemo
Hockey is played on grass. You're thin king of the other game based on
rancid, smelly undershoes: High Socky!
nemo
In punning ability, easily so. }:oÞ
(What's the emoticon for 'smug'?)
>
> The Fish King!
King Crab? Even royalty can get parasites!
King Crab's ancestor: A budgie singing while it eats its bird seed:
Trilobite.
nemo
. . . or Cohenishes?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
I've seen hockey played on ice.
nemo
Now . . . . . Puck off!
:o)