Clinton aka Unabanger: More Lewinsky Jokes, Part 4
Jolly
Q. What do Sleeping Beauty and Lewinsky have in common?
A. Both were Pricked.
Q. What do OJ and Clinton have in common?
A. Both are lying, bad golfers, who leave a trail of DNA behind.
Clinton 1998 Jokes
Last Updated: 1/28/98
Q. What's the difference between the Secret Service and Janet
Reno?
A. There are some things the Secret Service won't do to protect
the
President.
Q. What's Clinton's favorite pastime?
A. Swallow my leader
Q. Did you hear Clinton is declaring a new National Bird?
A. The Spread Eagle
Q. Whats Lewinsky's favorite bird?
A. The swallow
Q. How do you satisfy Clinton's sexual appetite?
A. It takes a village
Q. What does Ted Kennedy have that President Clinton wishes he
had?
A. A dead girlfriend.....
Q. How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A. None, they are to busy screwing the President.
Q. Why did Clinton cross the road?
A. To get to the intern on the other side, of course
Q.Why did the intern cross the road?
A.to get to the BOOK CONTRACT she needed to sign on the other
side
Q. What was Lewinsky's position at the white house?
A1. Head Intern
A2. Under Secretary
A3. Missionary
Q. What is Lewinsky's code name in the FBI?
A. Deep Throat
Q. What is Clinton's favorite toy?
A. An Erector Set
Q. What is Clinton's favorite card game?
A. Poker
Q. What is Clinton's favorite food?
A. The Cumquat
Q. What is Clinton's favorite T.V. Show?
A. Leave it to Beaver
Q. What's Clinton's favorite song?
A. Grooving
Q. What's Bill Clinton's favorite brand of potato chips?
A. Lays
Q. What is Clinton's Favorite Presidential Act?
A. Edict
Q. What office equipment has been distributed to all white
house secretaries?
A. The Dick-taphone
Q. What is the unwritten Executive Privilege?
A. Having first pick of the new White House Interns.
Q. Why would Clinton make a great rowing instructor?
A. Because he is so good at say, "Stroke, Stroke, Stroke."
Q. Why is Clinton such a lousy golfer?
A. He likes to take a lot of stokes.
Q. Why does Clinton swim naked in the white house pool?
A. He is trolling for interns.
Q. What is Clinton's worst nightmare?
A. An intern with braces. (I feel your pain)
Q. Whats Clinton's Economic forecast?
A. A "Bare" Market
Q. What is Clinton's number one training exercise for interns?
A. Tounge Twisters...
Q. What's Bill Clinton's favorite sandwich?
A. Tounge Sandwich
Q. What does Clinton have in common with a Timex watch?
A. It takes a Licking and keeps on Dicking
Q. Why did Clinton recommend Lewinsky for a job at revlon?
A. He knew she would be good at making things up.
Q. Why did Richardson offer her a job in the Foreign service?
A. He thought she would be good at speaking in tongues.
Q. What is Clinton's Favorite outfit?
A. The Sear Sucker Suit
Q. Why did Lewinsky have an affair with Clinton?
A. She wanted to get ahead in the world.
Q. What does clinton do fist thing in the morning?
A. Read the HEADlines...
Q. How many White House interns does it take to satisfy
clinton?
A. Nobody knows, he has never been satisfied.
Q. What do Isakoff and Ice Cream have in common?
A. Both get scooped regularly.
Q. How many reporters for the National media does it take to
get story?
A. None, they are all busy looking for them on the Internet.
Q. How does Clinton order his coffee in the morning?
A. Hot with Whipped Cream
Q. Whats Clinton favorite place in the White House?
A. The Oval Orifice
Q. What magazine does Clinton hate?
A. WIRED
Q. What is the latest warning to be posted in the White House?
A. Don't Tripp!
Q. What did Clinton say the night after the Lewinsky story
broke?
A. 'What A Bad Tripp!'
Q. What does Nixon have in common with Clinton?
A. Tricky Dick
Q. Whats the difference between Bill Clintons dick and a quebec
Hydro tower?
A. A quebec Hydro tower comes down occassionally
Q. What do Sleeping Beauty and Lewinsky have in common? A. Both
were Pricked. Q. What do
OJ and Clinton have in common? A. Both are lying, bad golfers,
who leave a trail of DNA behind.
Q. What do Clinton and Starr have in common?
A. They are both inclined to extend their probes.
Q. Is the President having sex with Tipper Gore?
A. No, but by this time next year she will be having sex with
the president.
Q. What did Gore say after the Lewinsky story broke?
A. 'Why do they call me the stiff man in the White House?'
Q. What did monica say when the FBI ask for the "Dress?"
A. Come and get it.
Q. What was clinton's last gift to Monica?
A. Spot remover.
Q. How can you tell you've just had sex with Bill Clinton?
A. You've got french fries in your hair, and Vernon Jordan is
handing you a job application.
Q. What did Lewinsky say when she left the White House?
A. 'At least I won't have to see that Prick again!'
We haven't elected a president, we have a DICK-tator.
Reagan was the Great Communicator. Clinton is the Great
Fornicator.
Clinton admits that he has a sexual relationship with Monica
Lewinsky, but that it was OK because
he didn't penetrate.
Eatin' aint cheatin'.......?
Seems all Bill was doing was giving her the Ol' executive
order!
Only Clinton can take our mind off a sex scandal with another
sex scandal...
"I didn't tell her to lie in de'position"
"I told her to lie in THAT position"
Clinton gives a whole new meaning to the Presidential Seal of
Approval...
Star finally saw the light when he Tripped into an untapped
resource.
It seems the biggest new game to play in Washington DC is
swallow the leader.
The White House spin is that this is just a third rate blow
job.
In Kennedy's time, we had Camelot, in Clinton's we have
CAME-a-lot.
Arkansas is very proud of Clinton-
all these women coming forward and none of them are his sister!
If you think Monica Lewinsky,[White House intern] is DUMB
consider this,
Monica doesn't know the difference between,
"Keeping her mouth shut, and GOing down in History"
Don't be too hard on li'l Monica.
Clinton told her oral sex wasn't adultery and she swallowed it.
First he had Flowers placed on his desk,
Now he has Lewinsky called on to the carpet.
First Lewinsky was squeezed by the president,
Now she is being squeezed by Star.
Dr Clinton's prescription for interns:
Swallow two mouth fulls and call me in the morning.
I told her to fix my election
She thought I said like my erection.
The new white house directive to female interns:
Don't ask, Don't Tell
After his impeachment Clinton could consider a career in
dentistry,
He is so good at saying open wide.
After his impeachment Clinton could consider a career as an
elevator operator, He is so good at
saying going down.
Clinton got a new limo...
Its called the DV-8 the only problem is when ever you park it
all four tires go down on you.
A recent poll of 2000 women asked the question: Would you sleep
with Bill Clinton?
94% responded "Never again"
[Heard on KLSY radio in Seattle]
Why did Clinton get Buddy?
So Hilary would not be surprised when she passed the Oval
Office and heard,
"Lie Down, Roll Over, Beg, Now Fetch the Bone."
[Heard on Jay Leno 27/98]
Reported in USA Today, Giles also said Ms. Lewinsky told the Bleilers
when she left for her
Washington internship in June 1995: "I'm going to the
White House to
get my presidential knee pads. (I just hate those
Oval Office rug burns)"
"We know everything there is to know about each other (I already have
hread the tapes) and we understand
and accept and love each other, (I am not giving up the Presidency)"
Hillary said in NBC Today Interview.
If you would like to see the whole collection Clinton Zipper Gate
Humor, updated daily. Go to:
http://www.cyberhighway.net/~transnet/humor/jclinton.htm
Zul
If you enjoyed this post then check out the huge humor archive:
Jokes For the Jolly
http://jolly.base.org
http://www.cyberhighway.net/~transnet/humor.htm
Clinton Defense #3: Were you *really* that gullible?
If you would like to submit humor just reply to this post.
To subscribe send an email with "subscribe" in the subject header.
To reply via email to this post just deleate {remove} from the address.
Anders Persson
Q: Why can't the White House interns keep their jobs?
A: They suck!
Q: What do Clinton and Clint have in common?
A: They both draw quickly and shoot from the hip!
I have nothing further, Your Honor...
A
Anders Persson
> "Oval? I thought you said Oral Office!"
>
> Q: Why can't the White House interns keep their jobs?
> A: They suck!
>
> Q: What do Clinton and Clint have in common?
> A: They both draw quickly and shoot from the hip!
>
> I have nothing further, Your Honor...
>
> A
One more: Q: Why is Clinton such a bad musician?
A: He doesn't know the difference between blowing the sax and blowing
sex.
(Bad one, huh?!)
A
Pundit Gainsay
Anders Persson <Anders.N...@emw.ericsson.se> wrote:
>One more: Q: Why is Clinton such a bad musician?
>A: He doesn't know the difference between blowing the sax and blowing
>sex.
>(Bad one, huh?!)
>A
Bill could play the sax and Monica could hum the parts
The preceding message was brought to you by the world's most retarded
e-mailing service...Yuks'R'Us(tm). Subscribing costs you nothing more
than the time it takes you to read the retarded jokes presented here.
If you would like to subscribe or unsubscribe please E-Mail:
yuk...@odyssey.on.ca
Why do they call them Hamburgers when they are made out of Beef?
Anders Persson
Anders Persson wrote:
>
> > "Oval? I thought you said Oral Office!"
> >
> > Q: Why can't the White House interns keep their jobs?
> > A: They suck!
> >
> > Q: What do Clinton and Clint have in common?
> > A: They both draw quickly and shoot from the hip!
> >
> > I have nothing further, Your Honor...
> >
> > A
>
> A: He doesn't know the difference between blowing the sax and blowing
> sex.
> (Bad one, huh?!)
>
> A
What is the most feared thing in the white house?
Internal affairs!!!
Ha, kill me!
A
Dionn
Anders Persson wrote:
> Anders Persson wrote:
> >
> > > "Oval? I thought you said Oral Office!"
> > >
> > > Q: Why can't the White House interns keep their jobs?
> > > A: They suck!
> > >
> > > Q: What do Clinton and Clint have in common?
> > > A: They both draw quickly and shoot from the hip!
> > >
> > > I have nothing further, Your Honor...
> > >
> > > A
> >
> > One more: Q: Why is Clinton such a bad musician?
> > A: He doesn't know the difference between blowing the sax and blowing
> > sex.
> > (Bad one, huh?!)
> >
> > A
> I just came up with one more:
>
> What is the most feared thing in the white house?
>
> Internal affairs!!!
>
> Ha, kill me!
>
> A
Thanks, not that I needed YOUR permission anyways. ;P
--
E-Mail: ampathevanet.com (replace at with @)
AIM: amp4379
UIN: 7688867
Contact me at http://wwp.mirabilis.com/7688867/
By US Code Title 47, Sec.227(a)(2)(B), a computer/modem/printer meets the
definition of a telephone fax machine. By Sec.227(b)(1)(C), it is unlawful
to
send any unsolicited advertisement to such equipment. By Sec.227(b)(3)(C),
a
violation of the aforementioned section is punishable by law.
Blah Blah
why does Clinton wear underwear?
- to keep his ankles warm.
Dionn wrote in message <34DB2C83...@sig.for.addr.org>...
>
>
>Anders Persson wrote:
>
>> Anders Persson wrote:
>> >
>> > > "Oval? I thought you said Oral Office!"
>> > >
>> > > Q: Why can't the White House interns keep their jobs?
>> > > A: They suck!
>> > >
>> > > Q: What do Clinton and Clint have in common?
>> > > A: They both draw quickly and shoot from the hip!
>> > >
>> > > I have nothing further, Your Honor...
>> > >
>> > > A
>> >