What is the difference between a terrorist and a tax inspector?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What does an accountant use for birth control?
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
George Washington never told a lie, but then he never had to file a
What the present income-tax form needs is a section which would
explain the explanations.
When making out your income-tax report, be sure you don't overlook
your most expensive dependent - the government.
Income tax is the fine you pay for thriving so fast.
It is difficult to predict the future of an economy in which it
takes more brains to figure out the tax on our income than it does
to earn it.
Income-tax forms should be printed on Kleenex because so many of us
have to pay through the nose.
We wouldn't mind paying income tax if we could know which country
it's going to.
% -27 for email %
Should be Andrex
> We wouldn't mind paying income tax if we could know which country
> it's going to.
> THE Sourpuss
> % -27 for email %
Apart from the one line above , this stuff taxes my mind!
That's such a scam! Shut up and file yer taxes, fer pete's sake.
It's not as bad if you file online. At least it's over with
quicker. TaxBrain is the easiest thing I've used so far.
An oldy but a goody, one of my favorite tax jokes:
The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis. This is due
to the fact that:
40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed.
20% of the time it's pissed off.
30% of the time it's hard up.
10% of the time it is in the hole.
On top of all this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.
Accordingly, starting January 1, 1999, penises will be taxed
according to size. To determine the category, please consult the
chart below and confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line
3, of the standard 1040P form.
10 to 12 Inches = Luxury Tax $50.00
8 to 10 inches = Pole Tax $30.00
6 to 8 inches = Privilege Tax $15.00
4 to 6 inches = Nuisance Tax $5.00
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION.
* Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains.
Internal Revenue Service
This thread is taxing our minds!