Professors
Gnu Bee
were sitting on a deck at a nudist colony.
The history professor asked the psychology professor,
"Have you read Marx?"
The psychology professor replied,
"Yeah, I think they're from the wicker chairs."
(Posted originally by Renee)
J. A. Mc.
<looks_l...@work.org> tweaked a mouse's tail to post:
They cross with Engels.
Stan Kegel
If you haven't done so, you really should study Marx some day.
Here are some of my favorite Marx quotes:
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing
it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
and best of all:
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
David Reihmer
One of my favorite Marx exchanges (Hotel in Casablanca):
Groucho: Boy, take this man's bag up to his room.
(Harpo picks up the man's wife)
Man: Sir, this is my wife - you should be ashamed.
Groucho: If That's your wife, YOU should be ashamed.
--
David R.
Stan Kegel
How about:
Oh are you from Wales ??
Do you know a fella named Jonah ??
He used to live in whales for a while.
Gnu Bee
Stan wrote ...
From Duck Soup(1933):
Mrs. Teasdale: As chairwoman of the reception committee, I welcome you with
open arms.
Firefly : Is that so? How late do you stay open?
Mrs. Teasdale : I've sponsored your appointment because I feel you are the
most able statesman in all Freedonia.
Firefly : Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say! You cover a lot of ground
yourself. You'd better beat it. I hear they're gonna tear you down and put
up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you
can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave
in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came
here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.
Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away.
Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you
any money? Answer the second question first.
Mrs. Teasdale: He left me his entire fortune.
Firefly: Is that so? Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you.
Mrs. Teasdale: Oh, your Excellency!
Firefly: You're not so bad yourself.
Firefly: Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think
we oughta have?
Chicolini: Well, I tell you what I think. I think we should have a standing
army.
Firefly: Why should we have a standing army?
Chicolini: Because then we save money on chairs.
Mrs. Teasdale: What's that?
Firefly: Sounds to me like mice.
Mrs. Teasdale: Mice? Mice don't play music.
Firefly : No? How about the old maestro?
Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more
than she ever did.
Minister of Finance: Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive
increase in our taxes.
Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Minister of Finance: No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars.
Chicolini: Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
Minister of Finance: Aww!
Prosecutor: Chicolini, when were you born?
Chicolini: I don't remember. I was just a little baby.