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Tw@

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Aug 4, 2003, 3:00:53 AM8/4/03
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The Van Gogh Family

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist
Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:

His dizzy aunt.........................................Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes.............................Gotta Gogh
The constipated uncle...................................Cant Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience stor...........Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia............................U Gogh
The cousin from Illinois...............................Chica Gogh
His magician uncle...............................Wherediddit Gogh
His Mexican cousin......................................Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half brother..............Grin Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt................................Tan Gogh
A sister who loved disco..................................Go Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach..................Wellsfar Gogh
The bird lover uncle..................................Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst..................................E. Gogh
The fruit loving cousin..................................Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking...................Wayto Gogh
The little bouncy nephew.................................Poe Gogh
The hairdresser.......................................Washan Gogh
The marathon runner..............................Readysteady Gogh

nemo

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Aug 4, 2003, 7:31:52 AM8/4/03
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Tw@ <T...@unknown.com> wrote in message
news:Xns93CD51E83FD4Bn...@216.65.98.9...


This whole ragged list is based on a gross pissmronunciation because the
correct pronunciation of Goch rhymes with Loch, as in Scotland - complete
with gutter-rail.

Actually, the Dutch pronunciation uses a gutter-rail at both ends of the
word - to catch the phlegm!.

It's only the phonetic poseurs the other side of the pong who pronounce it
"go"! Twits!! :o)

You wouldn't say "Lo Ness" or "Lo Lomond" - would you? You'd sporran a great
big argument and get hit round the head with a pair of bagpipes! Well,
haggis that's what'd happen - especially on a dirk night anyway.

And then again - you'd look a bit funny saying "No a mol" too!

dustbird

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Aug 4, 2003, 11:01:10 AM8/4/03
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A sister who loved rock'n roll.....................Good Goghly, Miss Molly!


Michael Balarama

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Aug 4, 2003, 9:36:03 AM8/4/03
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nemo <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
news:IurXa.69718$B%1.6...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...

Prime minister-Winston Churchgo

>
>
>


J. A. Mc.

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Aug 4, 2003, 12:16:53 PM8/4/03
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On 4 Aug 2003 02:00:53 -0500, "Tw@" <T...@unknown.com> found these
unused words floating about:

His bookie brother ...........................Threeto One Gogh.
The customs official.........................Embar Gogh
The gambler ....................................Bing Gogh
The gardener ..................................Weeden Gogh

Michael Balarama

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Aug 4, 2003, 12:52:51 PM8/4/03
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J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:3a1tiv8kg0e53hcnc...@4ax.com...
the knight......................Ivangogh


nemo

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Aug 4, 2003, 2:18:16 PM8/4/03
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Michael Balarama <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
news:visoavo...@corp.supernews.com...
Pervert on a horse again: Nonce Eqquitur!


dustbird

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Aug 4, 2003, 5:35:28 PM8/4/03
to
> > > This whole ragged list is based on a gross pissmronunciation because
the
> > > correct pronunciation of Goch rhymes with Loch, as in Scotland -
> complete
> > > with gutter-rail.
> > >
> > > Actually, the Dutch pronunciation uses a gutter-rail at both ends of
the
> > > word - to catch the phlegm!.
> > >
> > > It's only the phonetic poseurs the other side of the pong who
pronounce
> it
> > > "go"! Twits!! :o)
> > >
> > > You wouldn't say "Lo Ness" or "Lo Lomond" - would you? You'd sporran a
> > great
> > > big argument and get hit round the head with a pair of bagpipes! Well,
> > > haggis that's what'd happen - especially on a dirk night anyway.
> > >
> > > And then again - you'd look a bit funny saying "No a mol" too!
> >
> > Prime minister-Winston Churchgo
> >
> Pervert on a horse again: Nonce Eqquitur!


For the correct pronunciation(s) of "van Gogh", go to the Vincent Van Gogh
Teaching Program audio files at:

http://www.nga.gov/education/vgt_pronun.htm


nemo

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Aug 4, 2003, 6:48:16 PM8/4/03
to

dustbird <dust...@cross.wind> wrote in message
news:bgmcac$4...@library2.airnews.net...
I used to watch the Dutch satellite TV channel RTL4 beef whore it went
digital and they pronounced it Fon Khookh. Kh representing a slightly
fruitier version of ch as in Loch or Bach and oo as in look.

This is far closer to the normal English pronunciation used by everyone and
his dog over here including art scholars and linguists.

Van Goe is just plain ridiculous. So ridiculous that I can only assume that
those who insist on using it really are nothing but phonetic poseurs!


Michael Balarama

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Aug 4, 2003, 7:07:07 PM8/4/03
to

Michael Balarama <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
news:vit3s07...@corp.supernews.com...

Blues guitar player/singer/writer.............. GhoDiddley

>
>


Sheila Dundee

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Aug 4, 2003, 10:53:47 PM8/4/03
to

"nemo"
> dustbird

'Ear 'ear! Gaugin get 'em!!

nemo

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Aug 5, 2003, 11:55:36 AM8/5/03
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Sheila Dundee <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
news:3f2f1c3c$0$4189$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
Rousseau right!

Let's find some Speares to Shake first!

You cayn kerm teee-yaww and weeyull set off on a howywrs and if we faand Bin
Laydin or empty ohwn the way we'll clobber all his trrrrrrrrrrrrrsts too! -
especially if they've got nucular weapons, or mee-yrrrrrrrrrrrrs (mirrors)
or sqrrrrrrrrrrlls (squirrels)!

Thayun weyull make ouwrrseyulves siyuk in MikDonalds not MacDonalds!

Sea water mean?

Hayouw the heyull diyud iyut eyund errp laaak thayut?? Any linguists of
phoneticists out there?

J. A. Mc.

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Aug 5, 2003, 1:40:57 PM8/5/03
to
On Tue, 5 Aug 2003 12:23:47 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"
<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

Just show 'im the Monet, he'll change his tune!

nemo

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Aug 5, 2003, 7:55:04 PM8/5/03
to

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:i0rvivsbd2drbb9cj...@4ax.com...
What?? You think I'm a Barrel Organ player??

(Now what makes me think I should have said "Street Piano" instead?)


Sheila Dundee

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Aug 5, 2003, 7:57:15 PM8/5/03
to

"J. A. Mc." <, "Sheila Dundee"

If there is still life in him he'll probably Pissarro us


nemo

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Aug 6, 2003, 7:43:20 AM8/6/03
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Sheila Dundee <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
news:3f30445d$0$4191$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
Dufy-ll free to put an umbrella up . . . right up!! (^!^)


J. A. Mc.

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Aug 6, 2003, 1:24:03 PM8/6/03
to
On Wed, 6 Aug 2003 09:27:15 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"

<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

>

Ahhhh, just a little Picasso, isn't he?
Hope he doesn't Dali too long ...

nemo

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Aug 6, 2003, 5:29:53 PM8/6/03
to

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:upc2jv8sh98o010tl...@4ax.com...
Sisley bugger. All you gotta do is, at the Vermeerest hesitation, Bosch 'im
round the head! That can work Miro-cles!


Sheila Dundee

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Aug 7, 2003, 5:10:20 AM8/7/03
to

"nemo"
> J. A. Mc.
"Sheila Dundee"

In his frame of mind he'll Turner blind eye to this.


nemo

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Aug 7, 2003, 8:34:50 AM8/7/03
to

Sheila Dundee <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
news:3f32177d$0$15132$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
So he's not exactly feeling Klee-ful at the moment then?


J. A. Mc.

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Aug 7, 2003, 2:02:31 PM8/7/03
to
On Thu, 7 Aug 2003 18:40:20 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"

<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

>

Then we'll have to get the Constable, even though it is a Lautrec.

nemo

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Aug 7, 2003, 6:39:17 PM8/7/03
to

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:7055jv8qovbhsj9ll...@4ax.com...
Constable got very depressed once and said he couldn't enDurer life where
his paintings were taken the mickey out of any longer, so he went out across
a dessert minefield and tried very hard Toulouse Lautrek.

And apart from that, some hooligans had just decided to Dufy mup a bit and
that had made him impotent. He hadn't had an Ardon for months!

http://dir.yahoo.com/Arts/Visual_Arts/Painting/Artists/Masters/Ardon__Mordec
ai__1896_1992_/


Sheila Dundee

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Aug 7, 2003, 11:15:14 PM8/7/03
to

He used to put on coats, flash women, then varnish :-(


nemo

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Aug 8, 2003, 7:45:55 AM8/8/03
to

Sheila Dundee <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
news:3f3315c3$0$14564$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
>
<snip>
<OUCH!>

> > > >> >
> > > >> Sisley bugger. All you gotta do is, at the Vermeerest
> hesitation,
> > > >Bosch 'im
> > > >> round the head! That can work Miro-cles!
> > > >
> > > >In his frame of mind he'll Turner blind eye to this.
> > > >
> > > Then we'll have to get the Constable, even though it is a
> Lautrec.
> > >
> > Constable got very depressed once and said he couldn't enDurer
> life where
> > his paintings were taken the mickey out of any longer, so he went
> out across
> > a dessert minefield and tried very hard Toulouse Lautrek.
> >
> > And apart from that, some hooligans had just decided to Dufy mup a
> bit and
> > that had made him impotent. He hadn't had an Ardon for months!
>
> He used to put on coats, flash women, then varnish :-(
>

Yeah. Varnishing was the only time he could Copal right!


J. A. Mc.

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Aug 8, 2003, 11:50:25 AM8/8/03
to
On Fri, 8 Aug 2003 12:45:14 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"

<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

>

Ok, It's Timo Calder paddy wagon!

nemo

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Aug 8, 2003, 2:49:30 PM8/8/03
to

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:rkh7jvgd2eb44kqhf...@4ax.com...

Well if you Mastic indecypherable puns all over the plaice, I'll just ignore
them!


Sheila Dundee

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Aug 8, 2003, 11:20:06 PM8/8/03
to

"nemo" > J. A. Mc. <, "Sheila Dundee"

No resin for nasty cracks!


nemo

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Aug 9, 2003, 5:57:26 AM8/9/03
to

Sheila Dundee <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
news:3f346867$0$6528$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
The stuff they used hundreds of years ago certainly *was* resin for nasty
cracks!

And what about the pigment invented by a sadistic lady artist with very
sharp teeth that darkened and ran all over the place?

Bitumen. (^!^)


J. A. Mc.

unread,
Aug 9, 2003, 12:02:31 PM8/9/03
to
On Sat, 9 Aug 2003 12:50:06 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"

<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

>

Urethane!


>
> No resin for nasty cracks!
>

'E's a wetback, not a canvasback !
(Better duck before there's a quck up.)

nemo

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Aug 9, 2003, 4:22:12 PM8/9/03
to

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:uk6ajv0kn1hj4rbre...@4ax.com...

OK. Who bitumen on the bum?


Sheila Dundee

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Aug 9, 2003, 4:56:52 PM8/9/03
to

Oh they just lacquer sense of humour :-(


J. A. Mc.

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Aug 9, 2003, 8:05:00 PM8/9/03
to
On Sun, 10 Aug 2003 06:26:52 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"

<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

>

I see Sol vents again?

mike wheeEler

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Aug 9, 2003, 8:22:50 PM8/9/03
to
In article <3f356016$0$15135$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>,
Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au, Sheila Dundee was looking at the world oddly when:
She La La-quer chair and make it shiney..


nemo

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Aug 10, 2003, 9:09:13 AM8/10/03
to

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:l03bjv0ttp21npici...@4ax.com...

To the tune of the tune:

Xylene, goodnight Xylene.
Xylene, goodnight.
I'll smell you in my dreams, Xylene,
. . and I'll wake up with brain, liver and kidney damage!

(They don't tell you that when you buy a tin of Evo-Stik!)


nemo

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Aug 10, 2003, 9:09:14 AM8/10/03
to

mike wheeEler <whee...@tns.net> wrote in message
news:ufgZa.1483$7a.3...@dca1-nnrp1.news.algx.net...

Scottish feudal baron descended from a well known eggs poe nent of
psychokinesis and the very first astronaut:

Poly Uri Thane.


Sheila Dundee

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Aug 10, 2003, 5:10:20 PM8/10/03
to

Not dissolve pun again!! <sigh>


J. A. Mc.

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Aug 11, 2003, 8:11:26 AM8/11/03
to
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 06:40:20 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"

<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

>

Do I detect a bit of an acetone in your reply?

Sheila Dundee

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Aug 11, 2003, 9:26:44 AM8/11/03
to

It's just that I expected you to nail me with a more polished
reply!


nemo

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Aug 11, 2003, 11:14:41 AM8/11/03
to

J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:iu1fjvcnqv32pksfo...@4ax.com...
Probably. As a gambler with a twitch, perhaps he's hoping to die a bet tick.


J. A. Mc.

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Aug 11, 2003, 7:51:34 PM8/11/03
to
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 22:56:44 +0930, "Sheila Dundee"

<Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:

>

At Madame Tusseaud's, I'm only a waxen Wayne.

mike wheeEler

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Aug 12, 2003, 1:32:45 AM8/12/03
to
In article <3f379995$0$6529$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>,
Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au, Sheila Dundee was looking at the world oddly when:
>
>
She wants to get advertised... Put-a-CorKa-net wants to get plugged.


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