Crew

[Mike]

Sailing is a crewed business

Michael LeVine
mle...@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

[Don Stockbauer]

I had a sailboat which had a drilling platform on it and what I was out to do was to bring up the crewed.

[Mike]

On Apr 20, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<34e948bb-22b7-4311...@googlegroups.com>):

Did you remember to pay your taxes on the crewed income.

[Don Stockbauer]

Yes , I did pay them ; I hired a taxi to take me to the IRS to pay my taxes.

[Mike]

On Apr 21, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<ce8e7584-759c-406a...@googlegroups.com>):

I thought you would have been cheap and had one of the crew give you a lyft
there.

[Don Stockbauer]

Back in third grade I was part of a spelling bee and my word was "lift" and I spelled it "Lyft" and the teacher said "come into the back room and we're going Lift you onto a makeshift plywood Hillary and then Corll you"

[Mike]

On Apr 22, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<80409e09-8bdf-4990...@googlegroups.com>):

> going Lift you onto a makeshift plywood Hillary and then Corll you”
Uber all, you blew it.

[Don Stockbauer]

Uber is real big in Germany in fact it's out does Lift and all those other private chauffeur type services so you see the saying now in Germany a lot: "Deutschland Uber Alles"
There's also a prostitute in Germany named Alice and she's so prolific almost the entire country has had their way with her both male and female so the saying there is Deutschland Uber Alice.

then there were the two lesbians who were having a heart-to-heart talk, one of them said "I want to be
Frank with you , Alice "and then Alice said "no , tonight I want to be Frank, you be Alice"

[Mike]

On Apr 22, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<833d6e5a-2ec3-4c10...@googlegroups.com>):

> you be Alice”
And to remember when they were saying “Lesbian ardent pair.”

[Don Stockbauer]

that's a real Tuffy I had to go to Google and see what Arden pair means and I came up with this:

Pre-insulated pair copper coil is just about the best invention since the air conditioner itself. By eliminating cutting, threading on and sealing of insulation it can reduce your install times by as much as half. Ardent Pair Coil features a special polyethylene outer fi�lm that prevents creasing
and helps to protect the insulation when passing the coil through dif�ficult spaces. What’s more, it provides UV resistance. All this makes Ardent Pair Coil easier to install and ensures ultra long-life performance. Ardent Pair Coil is R410A refrigerant compliant and available in �five size combinations. So when you want the job done fast, get Ardent.

that's hard to make a pun out of so maybe what we could say is two lesbians while their relationship made them an Arden pair they were both refrigeration repair people so they use nothing but ardent pair coils

[Mike]

On Apr 23, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<74cc7ade-643f-40ae...@googlegroups.com>):

So from them you will never get a straight line???

[Don Stockbauer]

very few people know all the variety of pears there's the pair pair there's the pecan pair there's the double pair there's the pairing pair and there's the Venus pear but when you have pears that really like each other strongly you have the Ardent pear.

[Mike]

On Apr 24, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<f9c346d2-b515-4f42...@googlegroups.com>):

How about April in Pear-is???

[Don Stockbauer]

in April I took Darlene to a food show where they had various demonstrations of kitchen aids and it was by the way in April so what we called the whole thing afterwards was April in Puree.

[Mike]

On Apr 24, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<72048271-cfde-4325...@googlegroups.com>):

A demonstration at a food show !!! Those activist must be really hard up for
something to protest.

[Don Stockbauer]

Yes , what they were doing is a demonstration of demonstrations. they'd go to a food show and they'd look at all the demonstrations and get those people to demonstrate for their demonstration which of course is called a meta-demonstration , Free Will Rogers came along and said "I never meta demonstration I didn't like."

[Mike]

On Apr 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<5a9bc580-6682-41d7...@googlegroups.com>):

> demonstration I didn't like.” Too bad the Ukraine invasion did not happen sooner

So that the activists would picket and not some innocuous activity.

[Don Stockbauer]

Yeah ,you're right , just like it's too bad we haven't had a full-blown World War III so our soldiers could get some real fighting in before they're vaporized.

[Mike]

On Apr 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<8341480e-85dc-40e0...@googlegroups.com>):

But all a war does is distract each of the services from their real enemy ---
each other over funding.

[Don Stockbauer]

The very best place to practice wargames is the Bay of Funding.

[Mike]

On Apr 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<292cca66-384c-4a51...@googlegroups.com>):

Its all fund and games till someone gets hurt.

[Don Stockbauer]

That's like the fellow that retained the services of a prostitute who was into S&M so he had to fund her and play games but then he got hurt.

[Mike]

On Apr 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<3e3117ee-df49-4748...@googlegroups.com>):

But she did whip him into shape

[Don Stockbauer]

If you're watching a sadist and a masochist interact with each other, how do you know which is which? Well, the masochist pleads "Beat me, beat me" and the sadist replies "No".

[Mike]

On Apr 27, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<384ec4de-ece8-4228...@googlegroups.com>):

> the sadist replies "No”

That’s strike one against him

[Don Stockbauer]

So if you're the sadist and you get a Lucky Strike in you'll give the masochist a maximum amount of pleasure.

[Mike]

On Apr 27, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<c447279a-3d05-464f...@googlegroups.com>):

So now you are lash-ing out at me///

[Don Stockbauer]

No, you look prettier all gussied up with a full set of lashes , I would never pull any of them out.

[Mike]

On Apr 28, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<0e229b5a-8049-4746...@googlegroups.com>):

Not even to win the Pull-itzr prize??

[Don Stockbauer]

I won the Pull-Itzer prize, but I don't even know what an Itzer is????? And is it so big I can't just carry it?

[Mike]

On Apr 28, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<59e3ddef-94b0-49a4...@googlegroups.com>):

Just so you do not make like Carie Nation....

[Don Stockbauer]

my distant relative Alonso Stockbauer was given land by Great Britain It was a huge amount of paperwork to cover all the legal technicalities of him accepting this huge piece of land . he finally got the paper all together and he had to Cary Grant out to the car.

[Mike]

On Apr 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<320b3968-fc6b-4235...@googlegroups.com>):

Can’t do that now as they do not make cars like they auto.

[Don Stockbauer]

There was this fellow (not me) who was caught , well , how do we say this delicately , enjoying the amorous interaction between himself and his car's tail pipe; he was arrested for being auto erotic

[Mike]

On Apr 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<d522145b-75f9-41c2...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Friday, April 29, 2022 at 3:00:30 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On Apr 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<320b3968-fc6b-4235...@googlegroups.com>):
> > >

> > > my distant relative Alonso Stockbauer was given land by Great Britain It
> > > was
> > > a huge amount of paperwork to cover all the legal technicalities of him
> > > accepting this huge piece of land . he finally got the paper all together
> > > and
> > > he had to Cary Grant out to the car.
> > Can’t do that now as they do not make cars like they auto.
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> There was this fellow (not me) who was caught , well , how do we say this
> delicately , enjoying the amorous interaction between himself and his car's
> tail pipe; he was arrested for being auto erotic

Prurient speculation on your part

[Don Stockbauer]

No, no I was watching him from behind the bushes and I was just watching him mind you , not doing anything else just viewing no other activity on my part.

[Mike]

On Apr 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<dcffa204-2543-4ab0...@googlegroups.com>):

If this was a liars contest, you would be stiff competition with that one

[Don Stockbauer]

I heard about this orgy where there was stiff competition , and the music played during it was Frankie Valli's classic "I keep working my way back to you, babe"

[Mike]

On Apr 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<28c81fcd-d867-4351...@googlegroups.com>):

> you, babe”
Another phallus-cy

[Don Stockbauer]

There was his fellow running around nude in our town and everyone thought he didn't have a penis . So he finally stops in front of a crowd, pointed his midsection and says "it's a phallus, see, that I have no penis."

[Mike]

On May 1, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<3ab0f23f-6a1e-4558...@googlegroups.com>):

> midsection and says "it's a phallus, see, that I have no penis.”

So now he is famous for exposing his shortcomings
(I give credit to David Niven for that one)

[Don Stockbauer]

there was this fellow who had a very strange physiological defect in that when he had sexual intercourse he could only ejaculate for 1/10 of a second 1/10 of a second mind you he really got depressed about it he went to the doctor a renowned sex therapist and Said doc I have a shortcoming.

Oh I'm sorry that's the same pun you gave ; well I can't come up with anything better

[Mike]

On May 2, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7a522ad7-c418-48e6...@googlegroups.com>):

So you had second thoughts.

[Don Stockbauer]

my brain is just beyond description as for being fast and competent and nice and hard-working and fast and nice , for most of this activity the time between synoptical transmissions and receiving's is like a trillionth of a second but sometimes like when I'm drunk my thoughts take a lot longer so in that case I have instead of just a minute fraction of a second thoughts I have second thoughts.

[Mike]

On May 2, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<52a0cfda-7776-4d90...@googlegroups.com>):

Thas called a race condition --- rushing to judgement

[Don Stockbauer]

Once I burned down my neighbor's barn ; he came after me with a pitchfork . he said we're gonna have a rush to judgment here.

[Mike]

On May 3, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<72aa4fdb-6876-4a38...@googlegroups.com>):

That is about the scythe of it.

[Don Stockbauer]

I am not going to be around someone like you that lisps when he tries to say "size."

[Mike]

On May 3, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<8f0fab84-0a4e-4da0...@googlegroups.com>):

> "size.”

Your not wanting to speaks volumes about how a comparison would turn out

[Don Stockbauer]

A comparison between me and you would be like a comparison between a diseased giraffe and a crater on the moon.

[Mike]

On May 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<220394d1-ecc2-4f8f...@googlegroups.com>):

But why would I need to moon you??

[Don Stockbauer]

[Don Stockbauer]

Because it would give me a chance to see exactly how big of a posterior you are.

[Mike]

On May 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<01ccff0a-1b35-44a1...@googlegroups.com>):

But you will never see the end of this

[Don Stockbauer]

So you admit your posterior is so big that we will never see the end of it because it stretches out beyond the cosmological event horizon.

[Mike]

On May 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<afa82e24-b5fb-4e9d...@googlegroups.com>):

Very c heek-y of you

[Don Stockbauer]

I had to look up the word cheeky and the definition they had showed your picture and then the definition was "a man whose posterior is so big it stretches out beyond the cosmological event horizon"

[Mike]

On May 5, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<1a0326b1-3a0c-4500...@googlegroups.com>):

> stretches out beyond the cosmological event horizon”
While yours is a black hole

[Don Stockbauer]

When I first heard the term "black hole "
I thought they were referring to a section of Victoria here which is frequented by female prostitutes of the African American persuasion.

[Mike]

On May 5, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<b5a9cb59-513c-4359...@googlegroups.com>):

More of your so called dark humor??

[Don Stockbauer]

yes more of my dark humor god got so angry at me he appeared to me and said because you use dark humor I'm gonna give you a horrible disease , it's cancer and the cancerous lesions are very black the worst kind so you're going to be affected with dark tumor

[Mike]

On May 6, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<d8d66f9e-e8f8-4a6f...@googlegroups.com>):

So you either like it or lump it

[Don Stockbauer]

I am a very bizarre individual , I like to have cancer , I like to have lumps , every time I see a new lump I say "lump it to me God , lump it to me." I wound up being as large as a bus/sized truffle which by the way is an old joke from the National Lampoon where I get all my material from, I just wish they still published it , it was so good so good.

[Mike]

On May 6, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<4fcb73f9-f7d2-4cf0...@googlegroups.com>):

So you claim you are no one to truffle with???

[Don Stockbauer]

This guy wanted to fight me , I told him I'm no man to tussle with , he told me you're about as much of a threat to me as a truffle my pig just dug up.

[Mike]

On May 7, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<5e46c2d9-c9b3-4048...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Saturday, May 7, 2022 at 6:20:05 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On May 6, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<4fcb73f9-f7d2-4cf0...@googlegroups.com>):

> > So you claim you are no one to truffle with???
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> This guy wanted to fight me , I told him I'm no man to tussle with , he told
> me you're about as much of a threat to me as a truffle my pig just dug up.

So you are a fun guy not a fighter.

[Don Stockbauer]

I get excitement from mushrooms , especially the atomic kind.

[Mike]

On May 7, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<57401a0b-b2fc-4ead...@googlegroups.com>):

You get a real blast out of them!!!

[Don Stockbauer]

I like to watch the cloud form and then I tell myself "man , I wish I had a pizza big enough to put that guy on!!!!!"

[Mike]

On May 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<756de49d-7d68-401f...@googlegroups.com>):

> pizza big enough to put that guy on!!!!!”

You are not satisfied with raving about chemtrails but have tp go bigger???

[Don Stockbauer]

There was this big national park and it has all kinds of trails and some of the trails oddly enough can only be used by someone named Kim,
They're called oKim trails.

[Mike]

On May 9, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<fe4e41af-2cfa-4760...@googlegroups.com>):

I suppose this is something you learned by trail and error!

[Don Stockbauer]

Yes , I walked down one of the trails and I was in error because it put me into a grave situation : I died.

[Mike]

On May 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<4260d997-68ef-416b...@googlegroups.com>):

What color???

[Don Stockbauer]

once I lived in this apartment and there was a nice lady in the apartment next to me I knew she was despondent and depressed but one day I heard her through the wall saying I want to die I want to die oh God I want to die how I wanna die and I literally broke down her door and ran in and she was making a pair of faded blue jeans bright blue again

[Mike]

On May 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<3daa3751-4ac1-4d8f...@googlegroups.com>):

So she dye’d by her own hand.

[Don Stockbauer]

yes she wanted me to help her dye I told her I'm afraid I can't but I made a counter offer that she and I well , not sure how to put this but what it amounts to was us getting overly friendly with each other and she said sir I'd rather die first , I wouldnt care if you're the last person on earth I would have nothing to do with you and I told her "well, the way Putin is going that may very well come about with the slight difference that I'd be dead too"

[Mike]

On May 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<42ea27e6-7203-47e9...@googlegroups.com>):

> dead too”
Aa far as Putin is concerned with this, hue and dye wish him the worst

[Don Stockbauer]

Putin is getting so old and feeble minded and forgetful that he actually had some tattoo work done on his penis for a reminder. He had two words tattooed on
it:

Put in.

[Mike]

On May 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<2e40cec2-97df-4fd2...@googlegroups.com>):

A stiff reminder of how to use it

[Don Stockbauer]

Darlene told me she wanted to go to Russia so she could service Putin and I warned her now you need to be careful , you're gonna be locked in a bunker with him for the rest of your lives until they bring the 5 gallons of gasoline in.

[Mike]

On May 12, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<b62302b5-296c-44a5...@googlegroups.com>):

But at the prices for gas these days, could they afford 5 gallons???

[Don Stockbauer]

I'm sure that Putin's cohorts would chip in for it and also I told Darlene change your name to Eva

[Mike]

On May 12, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<c9d7107d-8a12-419c...@googlegroups.com>):

You are Eva the trouble maker

[Don Stockbauer]

You Gabor me with your statements.

[Mike]

On May 13, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<0d4c5880-8b6a-45f6...@googlegroups.com>):

You magda big mistake saying that

[Don Stockbauer]

No, you made the big mistake when you were vacationing near mount Etna and the magda
covered your entire body.

[Mike]

On May 13, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<2060e91c-caaa-4f93...@googlegroups.com>):

Must I shasta your illusions???

[Don Stockbauer]

How do you Shasta one's illusions , pour a soft drink all over them?

[Mike]

On May 13, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<c5353f20-b8b3-4ba4...@googlegroups.com>):

But would not be for the crater good.

[Don Stockbauer]

As Neil Armstrong was coming in for a landing on the moon he went temporarily insane , all of a sudden he began to think that crater good.

[Mike]

On May 14, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<bf6da24e-7ec1-4dcc...@googlegroups.com>):

At least he was not looking for Judge Crater

[Don Stockbauer]

I have learned not to judge craters. When Putin pockmarks the entire Earth with huge steaming lava filled craters I think any one of them will be just as beautiful as the others.

[Mike]

On May 14, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<8d4a2164-6e9b-4636...@googlegroups.com>):

That about sums up the hole problem.

[Don Stockbauer]

I once came up with a brilliant mathematical proof but this other mathematician told me that your proof is not correct , I see all kind of holes in it so I told him "no , that's OK , I'm more than willing to examine your holes."

[Mike]

On May 15, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<5387c2bc-0739-4365...@googlegroups.com>):

> your holes.”

Some of them are rather anal about challenges to their ability

[Don Stockbauer]

A man, a plan, a canal: Suez.

[Mike]

On May 16, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<645447ce-08dc-4e5f...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Monday, May 16, 2022 at 5:54:28 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On May 15, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<5387c2bc-0739-4365...@googlegroups.com>):
> >

> > Some of them are rather anal about challenges to their ability
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> A man, a plan, a canal: Suez.

No matter how good the plan, some one is there who suez you to stop it.

[Don Stockbauer]

Darlene is on a plan , she hasn't surprised us with a baby yet.

[Mike]

On May 16, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<01b0a779-56a1-4796...@googlegroups.com>):

You are a bit old to be infanticipating