Rabbit puns

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J

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May 16, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/16/97
to

DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS

reply here on Usenet or direct via email.

-=<J>=- jmg...@york.ac.uk http://www.york.ac.uk/~jmg104


Steve P.

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May 17, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/17/97
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On Fri, 16 May 1997 11:44:23 +0100, J <jmg...@york.ac.uk>
wrote:

>DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
> reply here on Usenet or direct via email.

For Easter, little Jeannie received a young rabbit as a
gift. It looked just like other rabbits except that the
color of its fur appeared to be faded. She was therefore
referred to as "Jeannie with the light brown hare".

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
A person that cannot post messages becomes EX-communicated.


charlie

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May 19, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/19/97
to

In article <3380e530-...@greenapple.com>, us...@nitemare.cafe.bbs
(greepfreek) wrote:

> Reply to: winte...@greenapple.com (greepfreek)
>
> Responding to: jmg...@york.ac.uk


>
> >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
> > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.
>

> Watch out, people are gonna hop all over this one.
>
> Check your mailbox fur all the replies..

that was a rabbit response...

--------------------------------|--------------------------------
Cult that specializes in | Cult that specializes in
certain hair-care products | certain male toiletries
|
Jojoba's Witnesses | Mennenites
|

Kathleen

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May 20, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/20/97
to

greepfreek wrote:
>
> Reply to: winte...@greenapple.com (greepfreek)
>
> Responding to: jmg...@york.ac.uk
>
> >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
> > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.
>
> Watch out, people are gonna hop all over this one.
>
> Check your mailbox fur all the replies..
>
> Origin: NiteMare Cafe - Lancaster, OH - 614-681-1154 - Open 24/7

I hop you're not going to jump on this one...Warren. Hare today, gone
tomorrow.

ACiDFiSh

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May 20, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/20/97
to


> >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
> > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.
>

> For Easter, little Jeannie received a young rabbit as a
> gift. It looked just like other rabbits except that the
> color of its fur appeared to be faded. She was therefore
> referred to as "Jeannie with the light brown hare".

Ugh.... man, those puns just MULTIPLY like RABBITS, don't they? It really
BUGS me.


Argo Cesareo

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May 20, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/20/97
to

Kathleen wrote in article <33829A...@canberra.teknet.net.au>...


>greepfreek wrote:
>>
>> Reply to: winte...@greenapple.com (greepfreek)
>>
>> Responding to: jmg...@york.ac.uk
>>

>> >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
>> > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.
>>

>> Watch out, people are gonna hop all over this one.
>>
>> Check your mailbox fur all the replies..
>>
>> Origin: NiteMare Cafe - Lancaster, OH - 614-681-1154 - Open 24/7
>
>I hop you're not going to jump on this one...Warren. Hare today, gone
>tomorrow.
>

don't let this tail go any fur-ther , it makes my hare stand on end!


Don Kirkman

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May 21, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/21/97
to

I believe that charlie wrote in article
<charlie-1905...@cx48495-a.msnv1.occa.home.com>:

>In article <3380e530-...@greenapple.com>, us...@nitemare.cafe.bbs

>(greepfreek) wrote:

>> Reply to: winte...@greenapple.com (greepfreek)

>> Responding to: jmg...@york.ac.uk

>> >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
>> > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.

>> Watch out, people are gonna hop all over this one.

>> Check your mailbox fur all the replies..

>that was a rabbit response...

Hare triggered, if not hare brained.
---
Don Kirkman [Delete NO SPAM for email]
This mind intentionally left blank

Steve P.

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May 22, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/22/97
to

On 20 MAY 97 17:48:44, pie...@gone.enet.dec.com (dave
pierson) wrote:
>In article <33961356...@news.interport.net>, ste...@interport.net
>(Steve P.) writes...


>>For Easter, little Jeannie received a young rabbit as a
>>gift. It looked just like other rabbits except that the
>>color of its fur appeared to be faded. She was therefore
>>referred to as "Jeannie with the light brown hare".

>Jeannie, health warnings to the contrary, insisted on >getting her son tanned. (Sun tanned? other thread...).
>She was Jeannie with the light brown heir.

LIfe went by. Jeannie gained a LOT of weight...
When sonny got married, someone asked where the groom's
mother was.
I replied, "That's Jeannie with the tight gown there.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Adam and Eve lived appley ever after.

David & Chris

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May 22, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/22/97
to

Knock, Knock!
(who's there?)
Ida!
(Ida who?)


Ida' ream of Jeannie with the light brown hair.
-------------------------------------------------

edg...@sonnet.nospam.com

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May 22, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/22/97
to

ACiDFiSh wrote:
>
> > >
> > > >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
> > > > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.
> > >
> > > Watch out, people are gonna hop all over this one.
> > >
> > > Check your mailbox fur all the replies..
> > >
> > > Origin: NiteMare Cafe - Lancaster, OH - 614-681-1154 - Open 24/7
> >
> > I hop you're not going to jump on this one...Warren. Hare today, gone
> > tomorrow.
> >
>
> I'm sorry, but this BUGS the hell outta me. We're all gonna go wild-HARE on
> this, and nobody will ever be able to RABBIT again.

No bunny else cares if it 'bugs' you or not.

James D. Davis

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May 22, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/22/97
to

Steve P. (ste...@interport.net) wrote:
: On 20 MAY 97 17:48:44, pie...@gone.enet.dec.com (dave

: pierson) wrote:
: >In article <33961356...@news.interport.net>, ste...@interport.net
: >(Steve P.) writes...
:
:
: >>For Easter, little Jeannie received a young rabbit as a

: >>gift. It looked just like other rabbits except that the
: >>color of its fur appeared to be faded. She was therefore
: >>referred to as "Jeannie with the light brown hare".
:
: >Jeannie, health warnings to the contrary, insisted on >getting her son tanned. (Sun tanned? other thread...).
: >She was Jeannie with the light brown heir.
:
: LIfe went by. Jeannie gained a LOT of weight...
: When sonny got married, someone asked where the groom's
: mother was.
: I replied, "That's Jeannie with the tight gown there.

I hear she "outed" in the Middle East with a lesbian prostitute.
She became Jeannie with the light brown...
Oh, never mind.

Doug Russell

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May 23, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/23/97
to

ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:

>LIfe went by. Jeannie gained a LOT of weight...
>When sonny got married, someone asked where the groom's
>mother was.
>I replied, "That's Jeannie with the tight gown there.

This is a thread I wished you didn't Foster, Stephen. :-)


Buster

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May 24, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/24/97
to

greepfreek wrote:
>
> Reply to: winte...@greenapple.com (greepfreek)
>
> Responding to: jmg...@york.ac.uk
>
> >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
> > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.
>
> Watch out, people are gonna hop all over this one.

And if someone comes out with a short story about cute little
bunnies, would it be a Cotton Tale.


Buster

-- "Net boy, net girl, Send your impulse 'round the world
Put your message in a modem, And throw it in the Cyber Sea"

Virtuality by Rush

jat...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca

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May 26, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/26/97
to

Buster (lat...@azstarnet.com) wrote:

: greepfreek wrote:
: >
: > Reply to: winte...@greenapple.com (greepfreek)
: >
: > Responding to: jmg...@york.ac.uk
: >
: > >DESPERATELY NEED RABBIT PUNS
: > > reply here on Usenet or direct via email.
: >
: > Watch out, people are gonna hop all over this one.

: And if someone comes out with a short story about cute little
: bunnies, would it be a Cotton Tale.

Listening to it would have been a hare-raising experience, but the
excitement would peter out quickly. (That sort of bugs me!)

--
*******************************************************************************
* *
* Bernhard Michael Jatzeck email: jat...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca *
* *
*******************************************************************************

Les Stewart

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May 28, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/28/97
to

I can't hare you.

Kim

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May 28, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/28/97
to

James D. Davis wrote:
>
> Steve P. (ste...@interport.net) wrote:
> : On 20 MAY 97 17:48:44, pie...@gone.enet.dec.com (dave
> : pierson) wrote:
> : >In article <33961356...@news.interport.net>, ste...@interport.net
> : >(Steve P.) writes...
> :
> :
> : >>For Easter, little Jeannie received a young rabbit as a
> : >>gift. It looked just like other rabbits except that the
> : >>color of its fur appeared to be faded. She was therefore
> : >>referred to as "Jeannie with the light brown hare".
> :
> : >Jeannie, health warnings to the contrary, insisted on >getting her son tanned. (Sun tanned? other thread...).
> : >She was Jeannie with the light brown heir.
> :
> : LIfe went by. Jeannie gained a LOT of weight...

> : When sonny got married, someone asked where the groom's
> : mother was.
> : I replied, "That's Jeannie with the tight gown there.
>
> I hear she "outed" in the Middle East with a lesbian prostitute.
> She became Jeannie with the light brown...
> Oh, never mind.

on the honeymoon, the newlyweds went horseback riding. jeannie was on
the light brown mare.

after that, the couple went to russia as part of the trip, where she had
her picture taken with a light brown bear.

--Kim (blonde...do it sho?)

Doug Russell

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May 29, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/29/97
to

jat...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:

>And then there was the time she needed a dragon slain. She wanted to know
>where she could find him, so someone pointed to a map and said "Jeannie,
>the knight's round here!"

Then there was Aladdin rubbing his magic lamp to conjure up the genie
from his light round lair.


Pooder at pooder's pad

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May 31, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/31/97
to

On Tue, 27 May 1997 05:53:06 -0700, James <jhed...@ix.netcom.com>
wrote:


>THIRD: I better rabbit up.


Wouldn't that be "TURD"?

Pooder at pooder's pad

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May 31, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/31/97
to


Old nuns never retire, they just get out of the habit.

Steve P.

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May 31, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/31/97
to

>>:>>For Easter, little Jeannie received a young rabbit as a

>>:>>gift. It looked just like other rabbits except that the
>>:>>color of its fur appeared to be faded. She was therefore
>>:>>referred to as "Jeannie with the light brown hare".

>>:>Jeannie, health warnings to the contrary, insisted on >getting her son tanned. (Sun tanned? other thread...).
>>:>She was Jeannie with the light brown heir.

>>: LIfe went by. Jeannie gained a LOT of weight...
>>: When sonny got married, someone asked where the groom's
>>: mother was.
>>: I replied, "That's Jeannie with the tight gown there.

>>I hear she "outed" in the Middle East with a
>>lesbian prostitute. She became Jeannie with the light >>brown...
>> Oh, never mind.

>on the honeymoon, the newlyweds went horseback riding. >jeannie was on the light brown mare.

>after that, the couple went to russia as part of the trip, >where she had her picture taken with a light brown bear.

>>And then there was the time she needed a dragon slain. She >>wanted to know


>>where she could find him, so someone pointed to a map and >>said "Jeannie, the knight's round here!"

>Then there was Aladdin rubbing his magic lamp to conjure up >the genie from his light round lair.

While back in Munich, Jeannie wanted a divorce, granted only
by the village's top dog, a grey-haired old fellow.
Therefore, she went looking for the white crowned Herr.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
All my life I've hoped to become a born leader.


Paul Dietrich

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May 31, 1997, 3:00:00 AM5/31/97
to

On 28 May 1997, Les Stewart wrote:

> Date: 28 May 1997 02:22:15 GMT
> From: Les Stewart <less...@mail.pernet.net>
> Newsgroups: alt.humor.puns
> Subject: Re: Rabbit puns
>
>
> I can't hare you.
>
Do infertile rabbits <is there such a thing ? :)> need a hare-ing aid?

The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.
The goal of nature is to build better mice.


Anna

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Jun 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/1/97
to

Kathy Burton <carme...@nospamworldnet.att.net> wrote:

>Old mallards never die. They just duck up.

As they say on Golden Pond...

"All the world's a stage, and we are merely Thayers."
"Metaphors be with you"
-- An...@invsn.com --

Robert E. Lewis

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Jun 1, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/1/97
to

Doug Russell wrote:

>
> jat...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca () wrote:
>
> >And then there was the time she needed a dragon slain. She wanted to know
> >where she could find him, so someone pointed to a map and said "Jeannie,
> >the knight's round here!"
>
> Then there was Aladdin rubbing his magic lamp to conjure up the genie
> from his light round lair.

Then there was Jeannie, the circus owner, who had a very
smart rabbit. She dressed it in a red nose, multi-colored
wig and baggy pants, and asked it questions to show how smart
it was.

I still dream of Jeannie with the bright clown hare.

Gina Stonestreet

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Jun 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/2/97
to

Old teachers never die, they just grade away.


-
GINA STONESTREET
DQE...@prodigy.com

James Kass

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Jun 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/2/97
to

Old Hairdressers never dye...

***********************************************************
James Kass
ka...@idt.net http://idt.net/~kassj
***********************************************************
"Here I am, feeling like a f*cking fool"--Billy Joel
"That's my opinion... I could be wrong"--Dennis Miller
***********************************************************

Kent Lorentzen

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Jun 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/2/97
to

Gina Stonestreet <DQE...@prodigy.com> wrote:

> Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
>
>

Old farmers never die, they are too pig headed to get planted, they just
move to pasture and horse around.

Adrian D. Croft

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Jun 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/2/97
to

Steve P. wrote:
>
> >>:>>For Easter, little Jeannie received a young rabbit as a
> >>:>>gift. It looked just like other rabbits except that the
> >>:>>color of its fur appeared to be faded. She was therefore
> >>:>>referred to as "Jeannie with the light brown hare".
>
> >>:>Jeannie, health warnings to the contrary, insisted on >getting her son tanned. (Sun tanned? other thread...).
> >>:>She was Jeannie with the light brown heir.
>
> >>: LIfe went by. Jeannie gained a LOT of weight...
> >>: When sonny got married, someone asked where the groom's
> >>: mother was.
> >>: I replied, "That's Jeannie with the tight gown there.
>
> >>I hear she "outed" in the Middle East with a
> >>lesbian prostitute. She became Jeannie with the light >>brown...
> >> Oh, never mind.
>
> >on the honeymoon, the newlyweds went horseback riding. >jeannie was on the light brown mare.
>
> >after that, the couple went to russia as part of the trip, >where she had her picture taken with a light brown bear.
>
> >>And then there was the time she needed a dragon slain. She >>wanted to know
> >>where she could find him, so someone pointed to a map and >>said "Jeannie, the knight's round here!"
>
> >Then there was Aladdin rubbing his magic lamp to conjure up >the genie from his light round lair.
>
> While back in Munich, Jeannie wanted a divorce, granted only
> by the village's top dog, a grey-haired old fellow.
> Therefore, she went looking for the white crowned Herr.

As Jeannie was walking down the aisle at her wedding, she stepped on her
dress and caused a small rip. She became Jeannie with the slight gown
tear.

Jeannie had to take the bus to the city to get the dress fixed. Always
being prepared, Jeannie had the right town fare.

While walking to the dress shop that evening, Jeannie was startled by a
mime on the street. Boy was that a night clown scare!

Although this trip was exciting she had to return home to her son who
was overwhemeld with computer programming homework. She couldn't wait
to see her byte drowned heir.

Thomas G. Ostertag

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Jun 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/2/97
to

<bold>Gina Stonestreet,DQEG16A=40prodigy.com,Internet writes:

</bold><x-quoted>Old teachers never die, they just grade away.

</x-quoted>
Old Principals never die, they just loose their faculties.


James D. Davis

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Jun 3, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/3/97
to

Kent Lorentzen (lore...@northernnet.com) wrote:
: Gina Stonestreet <DQE...@prodigy.com> wrote:
:
: > Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
: >
: Old farmers never die, they are too pig headed to get planted, they just

: move to pasture and horse around.

Old jeansmakers never dye, they just fade away.

CCH...@musicb.mcgill.ca

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Jun 3, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/3/97
to

In article <1997060219...@grandrapids-43.dialup.northernnet.com> lore...@northernnet.com (Kent Lorentzen) writes:
>Gina Stonestreet <DQE...@prodigy.com> wrote:
>
>> Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
>>
>>
>Old farmers never die, they are too pig headed to get planted, they just
>move to pasture and horse around.

Old programmers never die - they just go to bits, lose their memory,
and cache in their chips.


Mo

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Jun 3, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/3/97
to

Kent Lorentzen wrote:
>
> Gina Stonestreet <DQE...@prodigy.com> wrote:
>
> > Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
> >
> >
> Old farmers never die, they are too pig headed to get planted, they just
> move to pasture and horse around.

Old woodworkers never die.. they just whittle away.

PAUL HEITMAN

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Jun 4, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/4/97
to


Pooder at pooder's pad <poo...@ibm.net> wrote in article
<33924b57....@news1.ibm.net>...


>
>
> Old nuns never retire, they just get out of the habit.
>

old drummers never die, they just beat off

Mark Bernstein

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Jun 4, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/4/97
to

Sutter, the grocer, was in his shop one day, when a group of the Fair
Folk came flitting in. They explained that they'd come up with a new
game--everyone had to guess the weight of their Queen, with honors and
prizes going to the closest guesser. They asked if they could use his
grocery scale to weigh Her Majesty.

Sutter readily consented, and watched as Her Majesty stepped onto the
scale. Sutter announced the result (three and one-quarter ounces),
and the honors and prizes where awarded. Just before they left, the
Queen turned to Sutter and said, "We thank you for your service and
hospitality. In return, I shall grant one wish of your choosing."
Sutter, being a man who loved life, wished for immortality.

Many, many years have passed since then, and Sutter goes, on, happily
running his shop. The people in the village tell each other, "Old
Sutter never dies--he just weighed a fey."

Mark Bernstein
m...@arbortext.com

pml

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Jun 6, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/6/97
to

dave pierson wrote:
>
> In article <Pine.SUN.3.95.970531...@garcia.efn.org>, Paul Dietrich <pau...@efn.org.I'll.have.your.spam!> writes...

>
> >On 28 May 1997, Les Stewart wrote:
>
> >> From: Les Stewart <less...@mail.pernet.net>
>
> >> Subject: Re: Rabbit puns
>
> >> I can't hare you.
>
> >Do infertile rabbits <is there such a thing ? :)> need a hare-ing aid?
>
> An heiring, aid, surely.
>
Bunny you should ask.

pml

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Jun 8, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/8/97
to

James D. Davis wrote:
>
> pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:

> : dave pierson wrote:
> : >
> : > In article <Pine.SUN.3.95.970531...@garcia.efn.org>, Paul Dietrich <pau...@efn.org.I'll.have.your.spam!> writes...
> : >
> : > >On 28 May 1997, Les Stewart wrote:
> : >
> : > >> I can't hare you.

> : >
> : > >Do infertile rabbits <is there such a thing ? :)> need a hare-ing aid?
> : >
> : > An heiring, aid, surely.
> : >
> : Bunny you should ask.
>
> Q. How do hares travel?
> A. Rabbit transit.
>
> Q. How do they play piano?
> A. By ear, of course.
>
> Q. Favorite bunny book?
> A. "Warren Peace."
>
> Q. Favorite jewelry?
> A. Ten-carrot diamond.
>
> Q. Favorite motto?
> A. "Lookus Before You Lepus."
>
How about the disappearing rabbit? He was hare today, gone tomorrow.

Hauke Reddmann

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Jun 8, 1997, 3:00:00 AM6/8/97
to

pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:
: >
: How about the disappearing rabbit? He was hare today, gone tomorrow.

Are you familiar with the japanese usagi of the word, too?
--
Hauke Reddmann <:-EX8
fc3...@math.uni-hamburg.de PRIVATE EMAIL
fc3...@rzaixsrv1.rrz.uni-hamburg.de BACKUP
redd...@chemie.uni-hamburg.de SCIENCE ONLY

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