Redneck Jokes?

[r...@pipeline.com]

r...@pipeline.com (r...@pipeline.com) wrote:

>Can someone post the canonical list of redneck jokes? You know your a
>redneck if.....
>Thanks,
>-H

oops, sorry...wrong newsgroup!
-H

[Guy R. Briggs]

r...@pipeline.com (r...@pipeline.com) wrote:
|
| Can someone post the canonical list of redneck jokes? You know
| your a redneck if.....
|

You may be a redneck if ... you write "your" instead of "you're"!

Best Regards,

Guy R. "BrickWall" Briggs ----------- net...@mindspring.com

"All God's critters got a place in the choir,
Some sing low, some sing higher.
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire!
And some just clap their hands, or paws,
Or anything they got."

[r...@pipeline.com]

net...@mindspring.com (Guy R. Briggs) wrote:

>r...@pipeline.com (r...@pipeline.com) wrote:
>|
>| Can someone post the canonical list of redneck jokes? You know
>| your a redneck if.....
>|
> You may be a redneck if ... you write "your" instead of "you're"!

>Best Regards,

>Guy R. "BrickWall" Briggs ----------- net...@mindspring.com

...or if you post asking for that list in the "puns" newsgroup! :-/

-Helen

[r...@pipeline.com]

Can someone post the canonical list of redneck jokes? You know your a
redneck if.....

Thanks,
-H

[J Shearer]

net...@mindspring.com (Guy R. Briggs) writes: > r...@pipeline.com (r...@pipeline.com) wrote:
> |
> | Can someone post the canonical list of redneck jokes? You know
> | your a redneck if.....
> |

> You may be a redneck if ... you write "your" instead of "you're"!
>
> Best Regards,
>
> Guy R. "BrickWall" Briggs ----------- net...@mindspring.com

---------------------------------------------------------
And then there's the Apostrophe: It's seldom we see its proper use!
Grammatically yurz--Jan

[Randy Treadway]

>net...@mindspring.com (Guy R. Briggs) writes: > r...@pipeline.com (r...@pipeline.com) wrote:
>> |
>> | Can someone post the canonical list of redneck jokes? You know
>> | your a redneck if.....
>> |

I would, but the list length is astro-canonical

[Valued Acer Customer]

r...@pipeline.com wrote in article <5bto28$o...@camel5.mindspring.com>...

> Can someone post the canonical list of redneck jokes? You know your a
> redneck if.....

> Thanks,
> -H
>
Here have a few I got hundreds
You might be a red neck if...

1.More than one living relative is named after a southern civil war
general.
2.Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
3.You've ever used lard in bed.
4.Your home has more miles on it than your car.
5.You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve.
6.There is a stuffed pposum anywhere in your house.
7.You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
8.Fewer than half of your cars run.
9.Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling
the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
10.The primary color of your car is "bondo".
11.You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and
seductive tongue gestures.
12.You stand under the misteletoe at christmas and wait for Granny and
cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
13.Your family tree doesn't fork.
14.Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
15.Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports
event.
16.You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
17.The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
18.The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
19.Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
20.You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the
Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
21.Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size
bottle
of ketchup.
22.The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front
ones.
23.You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
24.You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
25.You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.
26.The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking
Institute".
27.Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
28.You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
29.Your favorite christmas present, was a painting on black velvet.
30.You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
31.The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the
hell
are you looking at,
Shithead?"
32.You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food
groups.
33.You think that Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
34.The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are
"Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all
Doin?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)
35.You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
36.Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening

on the lube rack.
37.You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
38.You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all
time.
39.You've been too drunk to fish.
40.You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
41.You've ever used a weedeater indoors.
42.You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).
43.You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'
44.You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
45.Your riches relative invites you over to his new home to help him
remove the wheels and skirt.
46.You've ever financed a tattoo.
47.Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
48.You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.
49.You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
50.Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
51.Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
52.Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
53.The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
54.Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
55.Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those
Yosemite Sam mudflaps.
56.You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
57.You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
58.Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
59.You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the
car.
60.Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
61.You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
62.You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occassions.
63.You have to scratch your sisters name out of the message: "for a good
time call . .", because you
feel guilty about putting it there...
64.Redman sends you a Christmas card.
65.You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
66.Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
67.Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
68.Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
69.You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia
on My Mind".
70.You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.
71.You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it
in prison.
72.You have been fired from a construction job because of your
appearance.
73.You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
74.You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
75.After making love you ask your date to roll down the window.
76.The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the
4-H Fair.
77.You have flowers planted in a bathromm appliance in your front yard.
78.Someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush
it."
79.Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
80.You mow your lawn and find a car.
81.If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting
on shoes (if you have them) a
jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
82.You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and
you only need to buy one gift.
83.You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the
Suth will rise again.
84.You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
85.You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
86.You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
87.You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
88.You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid
flannel shirt and thermal
underwear.
89.There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your
truck.
90.You think the Mountain Men in deliverance were just "Misunderstood".
91.You've ever made change in the offering plate.
92.If the fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year,"
93.You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left
arm below the shirt sleeve...
94.You own at least 20 baseball hats.
95.You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a
baseball hat.
96.You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
97.When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank!
98.Your biggest ambition in live is to "git thet big'ole coon. The one
what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah bubba's barn..."
99.Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.
100.When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the
Bureau of Alcohol Tobbaco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about

is if you can loose them or not.
101.You have 5 cars that are immobile and house that is!
102.You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end"
103."Honey? Are the lights out? Is the door locked? Is the parking brake
set?" is what you hear right before you and your wife/girl make love.
104.Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
105.You'd rather catch bass than get some (if you can't guess...)
106.You have a Hefty bag for a Car/Truck convertable top.
107.Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
108.You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.
109.You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
110.You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
111.You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
112.You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your
fireplace.
113.You just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
114.There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.
115.The theme song at your high school prom was `Friends in Low Placces'
116.It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
117.You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the
three of the primary colors.
118.You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend
your sister's honor.
119.You idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"
120.Your vehicle has a two-tone paint job--primer red and primer gray.
121.The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
122.Yer mom calls ya over t'help, cause she has a flat tire...on her house

123.The ASPCA raids yer kitchen
124.Ya have to check in the bottom yer shoe for change so ya can get
grandma a new plug of tobacco
125.Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle
126.Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against
it.
127.Ya celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in it!!)
128.You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado,

129.You fish in your above-ground pool, especially if you catch something!

130.When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your
jeans.
131.Helping your cousin, Billy-Bob, move into his new place consists of
the wheels off his doublewide (in memory of Chris "No House"
Skowronski)...
132.Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your
home town.
133.You know you're a redneck if you wake up with both a black eye and a
hickey.
134.Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in

the truck.
135."Buck Naked Line Dancing" isn't a videotape, it's "Ladies Night" at
the
local bar.
136.Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the
new
Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
137.You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
138.You're moved to tears everytime you hear Dolly Parton singing "I
Will Always Love You".
139.Dolly Parton reminds you of the `Grand Tetons'. (of course this is a
very sophisticated
sophisticated redneck joke... if you laughed...you must be a redneck,
only they will get this one.)
140.You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
141.Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
(Clinton true-life story)
142.The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty
record
collection (you
insurance man is one too if he pays you for it).
143.You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan
Jackson.
144.You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
145.You've ever hit a deer with your car... on purpose! "
146.You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
147.Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
148.You've ever parked a Camero in a tree.
149.Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
150.Your dad is also your favorite uncle.
151.Your mom walks you to school and your in the same grade.
How menny Whut is it Where d'ya git it

[John Williams]

> >Guy R. "BrickWall" Briggs ----------- net...@mindspring.com
>

> ...or if you post asking for that list in the "puns" newsgroup! :-/
>
> -Helen
>
>

Really thow, a good lot of red neck jokes are puns or at lest a cupple.
Mabie one or two. OK OK only one. But it is a pun

[Mike]

On Oct 1, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<07fb1812-8a1c-430e...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > ...or if you post asking for that list in the "puns" newsgroup! :-/
> > >
> > > -Helen
> > Really thow, a good lot of red neck jokes are puns or at lest a cupple.
> > Mabie one or two. OK OK only one. But it is a pun
>

> eat more pecans.

Who are you pecan on now???

Michael LeVine
mle...@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

[Don Stockbauer]

well, I'm just like a group of boys walking along as they come to a nudist colony the group tried to force one of them to peek through the fence, but he didn't want to , the group said come on come on then finally the boy did peek through the fence because he was a victim of peer pressure.

[Mike]

On Oct 1, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<09182d7b-f71e-4a3d...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > Really thow, a good lot of red neck jokes are puns or at lest a cupple.
> > > > Mabie one or two. OK OK only one. But it is a pun
> > >
> > > eat more pecans.
> >
> > Who are you pecan on now???

> well, I'm just like a group of boys walking along as they come to a nudist
> colony the group tried to force one of them to peek through the fence, but he
> didn't want to , the group said come on come on then finally the boy did peek
> through the fence because he was a victim of peer pressure.

As I said the last time you said that - “They had to force him????"

[Don Stockbauer]

I'm going to quit . You're making fun of my short term memory loss . it's nothing to joke about. I see having short term memory loss to be no different than having your right arm hacked off. Sure it's inconvenient , but you have to learn to live with it.

Who's our President? Harding?

[Mike]

On Oct 1, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<5eb9c8f4-277b-40ce...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > Who are you pecan on now???
> > > well, I'm just like a group of boys walking along as they come to a nudist
> > > colony the group tried to force one of them to peek through the fence, but
> > > he
> > > didn't want to , the group said come on come on then finally the boy did
> > > peek
> > > through the fence because he was a victim of peer pressure.
> > As I said the last time you said that - “They had to force him????"
>

> I'm going to quit . You're making fun of my short term memory loss . it's
> nothing to joke about. I see having short term memory loss to be no different
> than having your right arm hacked off. Sure it's inconvenient , but you have
> to learn to live with it.
>
> Who's our President? Harding?

I am going to try and meet up with eh current one at Fords Theater this
evening.
I undestand there is a rather humorous play “The American Cousin” being
performed.

[Don Stockbauer]

well buddy, you want irreverent stuff here I can do the same :
after the horrible act the press went to Mary Todd Lincoln and asked her "aside from all that Mrs. Lincoln how did you enjoy the play ?" and I mean, it's isomorphic to the poor Kennedys after the motorcade through Dallas, she had blood splattered all over her self, and some reporter went up to her and asked "aside from all that Mrs. Kennedy how did you enjoy the motorcade? "

And the really big question is "who killed the Kennedys?" when after all it was you and me.

you do know that the Dallas County coroner wanted to perform in autopsy on Kennedy's body before it left Dallas and the Secret Service objected by putting him up against the wall with a gun to his head.

[Mike]

On Oct 2, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<22b16f9f-f6cd-4cff...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > As I said the last time you said that - “They had to force him????"
> > >
> > > I'm going to quit . You're making fun of my short term memory loss . it's
> > > nothing to joke about. I see having short term memory loss to be no
> > > different
> > > than having your right arm hacked off. Sure it's inconvenient , but you
> > > have
> > > to learn to live with it.
> > >
> > > Who's our President? Harding?
> > I am going to try and meet up with eh current one at Fords Theater this
> > evening.
> > I undestand there is a rather humorous play “The American Cousin” being
> > performed.

> well buddy, you want irreverent stuff here I can do the same :
> after the horrible act the press went to Mary Todd Lincoln and asked her
> "aside from all that Mrs. Lincoln how did you enjoy the play ?" and I mean,
> it's isomorphic to the poor Kennedys after the motorcade through Dallas, she
> had blood splattered all over her self, and some reporter went up to her and
> asked "aside from all that Mrs. Kennedy how did you enjoy the motorcade? "
>
> And the really big question is "who killed the Kennedys?" when after all it
> was you and me.
>
> you do know that the Dallas County coroner wanted to perform in autopsy on
> Kennedy's body before it left Dallas and the Secret Service objected by
> putting him up against the wall with a gun to his head.

A lot of conspiracy theories could have been prevented if he had been allowed
to do so.
The gun to his head part I had not heard about.

[Don Stockbauer]

From Wiki: At the time of Kennedy's assassination, the murder of a president was not under federal jurisdiction.[131] Accordingly, Dallas County medical examiner Earl Rose insisted that Texas law required him to perform an autopsy.[132][133] A heated exchange between Kennedy's aides and Dallas officials nearly erupted into a fistfight before the Texans yielded and allowed Kennedy's body to be transported to Air Force One.[132][133][134] At 2:38 p.m., with Jacqueline Kennedy at his side, Johnson was administered the oath of office by federal judge Sarah Tilghman Hughes aboard Air Force One shortly before departing for Washington with Kennedy's coffin.[135]

OK , the deal is that Wiki will change . When I read this several years ago it said the Secret Service held the medical examiner against a wall at gunpoint . Maybe someone didn't like that description and changed it to this one, I don't know.

[Don Stockbauer]

More on this:

there's more to tell about the Kennedy assassination you see my ex-wife booked us into this hotel in dallas. don't know its name but it's like across the North-South St. from Dealy plaza and it's about maybe five blocks south , kind of an old rundown hotel and I take the dog out to take a crap look up and there' dealy plaza. I didn't even know that's where we were ,just shows you how cognizant I am of everything and then so anyway got the dog back in, am riding the elevator up in the hotel, and there's all these conspiracy signs around for a meeting for the conspiracy group and then there's a guy in the elevator and I just merely asked him "what're all the signs , what's going on ?and he says real smart ass "oh you didn't hear ,someone shot the guy "and then I got him back , I said "someone shot him? I thought he was still in office"ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha see what this shows you is the world is nothing but smart ass answers anymore, and the best solution is to move to a cave in Utah.

[Mike]

On Oct 2, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<54d15d8f-fa1a-43ea...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > Who's our President? Harding?
> > > > I am going to try and meet up with eh current one at Fords Theater this
> > > > evening.
> > > > I undestand there is a rather humorous play “The American Cousin”
> > > > being
> > > > performed.
> > > well buddy, you want irreverent stuff here I can do the same :
> > > after the horrible act the press went to Mary Todd Lincoln and asked her
> > > "aside from all that Mrs. Lincoln how did you enjoy the play ?" and I mean,
> > > it's isomorphic to the poor Kennedys after the motorcade through Dallas,
> > > she
> > > had blood splattered all over her self, and some reporter went up to her
> > > and
> > > asked "aside from all that Mrs. Kennedy how did you enjoy the motorcade? "
> > >
> > > And the really big question is "who killed the Kennedys?" when after all it
> > > was you and me.
> > >
> > > you do know that the Dallas County coroner wanted to perform in autopsy on
> > > Kennedy's body before it left Dallas and the Secret Service objected by
> > > putting him up against the wall with a gun to his head.
> > A lot of conspiracy theories could have been prevented if he had been
> > allowed
> > to do so.
> > The gun to his head part I had not heard about.

> From Wiki: At the time of Kennedy's assassination, the murder of a president
> was not under federal jurisdiction.[131] Accordingly, Dallas County medical
> examiner Earl Rose insisted that Texas law required him to perform an
> autopsy.[132][133] A heated exchange between Kennedy's aides and Dallas
> officials nearly erupted into a fistfight before the Texans yielded and
> allowed Kennedy's body to be transported to Air Force One.[132][133][134] At

> 2:38p.m., with Jacqueline Kennedy at his side, Johnson was administered the

> oath of office by federal judge Sarah Tilghman Hughes aboard Air Force One
> shortly before departing for Washington with Kennedy's coffin.[135]
>
> OK , the deal is that Wiki will change . When I read this several years ago
> it said the Secret Service held the medical examiner against a wall at
> gunpoint . Maybe someone didn't like that description and changed it to this
> one, I don't know.

Political Correctness strikes again

[Don Stockbauer]

Political correctness sounds like an oxymoron.

Isn't another name for oxymoron a blue baby?

[Mike]

On Oct 2, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<e4dfcac1-9f32-4012...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > putting him up against the wall with a gun to his head.
> > > > A lot of conspiracy theories could have been prevented if he had been
> > > > allowed
> > > > to do so.
> > > > The gun to his head part I had not heard about.
> > > From Wiki: At the time of Kennedy's assassination, the murder of a
> > > president
> > > was not under federal jurisdiction.[131] Accordingly, Dallas County medical
> > > examiner Earl Rose insisted that Texas law required him to perform an
> > > autopsy.[132][133] A heated exchange between Kennedy's aides and Dallas
> > > officials nearly erupted into a fistfight before the Texans yielded and
> > > allowed Kennedy's body to be transported to Air Force One.[132][133][134]
> > > At
> > > 2:38p.m., with Jacqueline Kennedy at his side, Johnson was administered the
> > > oath of office by federal judge Sarah Tilghman Hughes aboard Air Force One
> > > shortly before departing for Washington with Kennedy's coffin.[135]
> > >
> > > OK , the deal is that Wiki will change . When I read this several years ago
> > > it said the Secret Service held the medical examiner against a wall at
> > > gunpoint . Maybe someone didn't like that description and changed it to
> > > this
> > > one, I don't know.

> > Political Correctness strikes again Political correctness sounds like an oxymoron.

> Isn't another name for oxymoron a blue baby?

Now you are just being childish....
But then I should not chide you on that as being able to be chidlish is a
perk of old age.

[Don Stockbauer]

yeah, in my old age, I do drink too much coffee.

[Mike]

On Oct 3, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<3811f787-8c98-4299...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > OK , the deal is that Wiki will change . When I read this several years
> > > > > ago
> > > > > it said the Secret Service held the medical examiner against a wall at
> > > > > gunpoint . Maybe someone didn't like that description and changed it to
> > > > > this
> > > > > one, I don't know.
> > > > Political Correctness strikes again Political correctness sounds like an
> > > > oxymoron.
> > > Isn't another name for oxymoron a blue baby?
> > Now you are just being childish....
> > But then I should not chide you on that as being able to be chidlish is a
> > perk of old age.

> yeah, in my old age, I do drink too much coffee.

There is never too much coffee --- or beer

[Don Stockbauer]

judging by the area around your middle there, yes there can be.

[Mike]

On Oct 4, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<d93e1e90-6481-47c5...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > Political Correctness strikes again Political correctness sounds like an
> > > > > > oxymoron.
> > > > > Isn't another name for oxymoron a blue baby?
> > > > Now you are just being childish....
> > > > But then I should not chide you on that as being able to be chidlish is a
> > > > perk of old age.
> > > yeah, in my old age, I do drink too much coffee.

> > There is never too much coffee --- or beer judging by the area around your middle there, yes there can be.

I reject your attempt to have fun at my expanse.

[Don Stockbauer]

You must be talking about the expanse of your middle, not your intellect.

[Mike]

On Oct 4, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<a0f38cbf-e7bd-48e7...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > yeah, in my old age, I do drink too much coffee.
> > > > There is never too much coffee --- or beer judging by the area around
> > > > your middle there, yes there can be.
> >
> > I reject your attempt to have fun at my expanse.

> You must be talking about the expanse of your middle, not your intellect.

I have a weakness for the expensive spread.

[Don Stockbauer]

I too have a weakness for the expensive spread; Darlene has started charging $1000 an hour.

[Mike]

On Oct 5, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<2b3f03e8-a639-43ae...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > >
> > > > I reject your attempt to have fun at my expanse.
> > > You must be talking about the expanse of your middle, not your intellect.

> > I have a weakness for the expensive spread. I too have a weakness for the expensive spread; Darlene has started charging
> $1000 an hour.

That is a shock....

[Don Stockbauer]

She got a real shock. I told her here , we're finished working cattle . How would you like for us to try out this cattle prod?

[Mike]

On Oct 5, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<9d87c5d1-0055-434d...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > I reject your attempt to have fun at my expanse.
> > > > > You must be talking about the expanse of your middle, not your intellect.
> > > > I have a weakness for the expensive spread. I too have a weakness for the
> > > > expensive spread; Darlene has started charging
> > > $1000 an hour.
> >

> > That is a shock.... She got a real shock. I told her here , we're finished working cattle . How

> would you like for us to try out this cattle prod?

I can see what it would not spark any interest in her.

[Don Stockbauer]

Us S&M connoisseurs know that a cattle prod would be overdoing it . When you're into S&M you have to take the middle ground , that is , the stimulus cannot be too weak and it cannot be too strong. It's like Goldilock's pudding , it has to be just right.

[Mike]

On Oct 5, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<804c5300-1733-4873...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > the
> > > > > > expensive spread; Darlene has started charging
> > > > > $1000 an hour.
> > > >
> > > > That is a shock.... She got a real shock. I told her here , we're
> > > > finished working cattle . How
> > > would you like for us to try out this cattle prod?
> > I can see what it would not spark any interest in her.
>

> Us S&M connoisseurs know that a cattle prod would be overdoing it . When
> you're into S&M you have to take the middle ground , that is , the stimulus
> cannot be too weak and it cannot be too strong. It's like Goldilock's pudding
> , it has to be just right.

So you are a taser teaser

[Don Stockbauer]

- [ ] I am a taser teaser what happens is I go out in public and I start claiming that I'm God, the police come and I say "Go ahead and tase me , buddies. I'll sue you for all you're worth " and then they tase me after all.

[Mike]

On Oct 6, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<1499f234-62e9-49b3...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Friday, October 6, 2023 at 5:35:45 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On Oct 5, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<804c5300-1733-4873...@googlegroups.com>):
> > >

> > > Us S&M connoisseurs know that a cattle prod would be overdoing it . When
> > > you're into S&M you have to take the middle ground , that is , the stimulus
> > > cannot be too weak and it cannot be too strong. It's like Goldilock's
> > > pudding
> > > , it has to be just right.

> > So you are a taser teaser - [ ] I am a taser teaser what happens is I go out in public and I start

> claiming that I'm God, the police come and I say "Go ahead and tase me ,
> buddies. I'll sue you for all you're worth " and then they tase me after all.

And claim you are aTase - mania Devil???

[Don Stockbauer]

My friend Ralph once robbed a bank and the police cornered him and had to taser him. He told me it was a shocking experience.

[Mike]

On Oct 6, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<b2d47b45-a6fb-46c5...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > Us S&M connoisseurs know that a cattle prod would be overdoing it . When
> > > > > you're into S&M you have to take the middle ground , that is , the
> > > > > stimulus
> > > > > cannot be too weak and it cannot be too strong. It's like Goldilock's
> > > > > pudding
> > > > > , it has to be just right.
> > > > So you are a taser teaser - [ ] I am a taser teaser what happens is I go
> > > > out in public and I start
> > > claiming that I'm God, the police come and I say "Go ahead and tase me ,
> > > buddies. I'll sue you for all you're worth " and then they tase me after
> > > all.

> > And claim you are aTase - mania Devil??? My friend Ralph once robbed a bank and the police cornered him and had to

> taser him. He told me it was a shocking experience.

An electrifying declaration.

[Don Stockbauer]

if the declaration of independence were drafted nowadays it would be an electronic declaration.

[Mike]

On Oct 7, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<d35b7252-b79f-4a81...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > So you are a taser teaser - [ ] I am a taser teaser what happens is I go
> > > > > > out in public and I start
> > > > > claiming that I'm God, the police come and I say "Go ahead and tase me ,
> > > > > buddies. I'll sue you for all you're worth " and then they tase me after
> > > > > all.
> > > > And claim you are aTase - mania Devil??? My friend Ralph once robbed a
> > > > bank and the police cornered him and had to
> > > taser him. He told me it was a shocking experience.
> > An electrifying declaration.

> if the declaration of independence were drafted nowadays it would be an
> electronic declaration.

It would be denounced by left and right alike as being too radical.

[Don Stockbauer]

radical has some kind of a definition in chemistry, but I'm too lazy to go look it up

[Mike]

On Oct 7, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<dd6f31f2-4dd9-44e0...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > And claim you are aTase - mania Devil??? My friend Ralph once robbed a
> > > > > > bank and the police cornered him and had to
> > > > > taser him. He told me it was a shocking experience.
> > > > An electrifying declaration.
> > > if the declaration of independence were drafted nowadays it would be an
> > > electronic declaration.

> > It would be denounced by left and right alike as being too radical. radical has some kind of a definition in chemistry, but I'm too lazy to go
> look it up

And a waste of your time because to find it you would have to look down.

[Don Stockbauer]

M little four-year-old niece Felicity was visiting and she went over to my pet duck and pulled out all its feathers and I saw the mess and I said "Look, down!!!!"

[Mike]

On Oct 8, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<744d8183-2c70-4b40...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > An electrifying declaration.
> > > > > if the declaration of independence were drafted nowadays it would be an
> > > > > electronic declaration.
> > > > It would be denounced by left and right alike as being too radical.
> > > > radical has some kind of a definition in chemistry, but I'm too lazy to go
> > > look it up
> >
> > And a waste of your time because to find it you would have to look down.

> M little four-year-old niece Felicity was visiting and she went over to my
> pet duck and pulled out all its feathers and I saw the mess and I said "Look,

> down!!!!”
Reminds me of my dentist is is always so forlorn looking.
Every time I see him he is down in the mouth.

[Don Stockbauer]

Mike Nichols and Elaine May had this comedy sketch where she was a dental patient and he was the dentist and they were lovers and before he starts working on her mouth he says "oh darling I love you , I love you so, no words can describe the amount that I love you ,
I love you, I love you and I love you and I love you "

"Spit out."

[Mike]

On Oct 8, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<1d0c90a1-f6f9-4c74...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > >
> > > > And a waste of your time because to find it you would have to look down.
> > > M little four-year-old niece Felicity was visiting and she went over to my
> > > pet duck and pulled out all its feathers and I saw the mess and I said
> > > "Look,
> > > down!!!!”
> > Reminds me of my dentist is is always so forlorn looking.
> > Every time I see him he is down in the mouth.

> Mike Nichols and Elaine May had this comedy sketch where she was a dental
> patient and he was the dentist and they were lovers and before he starts
> working on her mouth he says "oh darling I love you , I love you so, no words
> can describe the amount that I love you ,
> I love you, I love you and I love you and I love you "
>

> "Spit out.” I find that barber-ous

[Don Stockbauer]

are you trying to say the barbers also perform dental work , I mean at one time they did all kind of stuff like open-heart surgery, removal of tumors from the brain, stuff like that but I didn't know they did something sophisticated like dental work?

[Mike]

On Oct 9, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<d3c25139-124c-471b...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > Mike Nichols and Elaine May had this comedy sketch where she was a dental
> > > patient and he was the dentist and they were lovers and before he starts
> > > working on her mouth he says "oh darling I love you , I love you so, no
> > > words
> > > can describe the amount that I love you ,
> > > I love you, I love you and I love you and I love you "
> > >
> > > "Spit out.” I find that barber-ous

> are you trying to say the barbers also perform dental work , I mean at one
> time they did all kind of stuff like open-heart surgery, removal of tumors
> from the brain, stuff like that but I didn't know they did something
> sophisticated like dental work?

Yes they did, even the occasional haircut.

[Don Stockbauer]

there is a village in which there is a barber who shaves ( there are only men in this village and they all require shaves) everyone who does not shave himself . well then , who shaves the barber ? so, if the barber shaves himself, he does not shave himself , if the shaver does not shave himself, and he shaves himself , all in preparation for the S&M meeting tonight.

[Mike]

On Oct 9, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<404bd630-dbba-48f2...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > are you trying to say the barbers also perform dental work , I mean at one
> > > time they did all kind of stuff like open-heart surgery, removal of tumors
> > > from the brain, stuff like that but I didn't know they did something
> > > sophisticated like dental work?
> > Yes they did, even the occasional haircut.
>

> there is a village in which there is a barber who shaves ( there are only men
> in this village and they all require shaves) everyone who does not shave
> himself . well then , who shaves the barber ? so, if the barber shaves
> himself, he does not shave himself , if the shaver does not shave himself,
> and he shaves himself , all in preparation for the S&M meeting tonight.

----- www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqCiw0wD44U

[Don Stockbauer]

that's so weak it's just disgusting a modern AI
is programmed to recognize such classical philosophical paradoxes and steer around them through the use of cybernetics, cybernetics is used to steer around such traps like that , the term cybernetics comes from the term for helmsman or steersman , a cybernetic system would encounter such classical paradoxes like that, and merely steer around them, and God save the Queen.

[Mike]

On Oct 10, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<195bf1a3-c73a-428e...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > there is a village in which there is a barber who shaves ( there are only
> > > men
> > > in this village and they all require shaves) everyone who does not shave
> > > himself . well then , who shaves the barber ? so, if the barber shaves
> > > himself, he does not shave himself , if the shaver does not shave himself,
> > > and he shaves himself , all in preparation for the S&M meeting tonight.
> > ----- www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqCiw0wD44U
>

> that's so weak it's just disgusting a modern AI
> is programmed to recognize such classical philosophical paradoxes and steer
> around them through the use of cybernetics, cybernetics is used to steer
> around such traps like that , the term cybernetics comes from the term for
> helmsman or steersman , a cybernetic system would encounter such classical
> paradoxes like that, and merely steer around them, and God save the Queen.

Modern AI’s also can lie a lot

[Don Stockbauer]

They don't lie ; they don't reproduce by sexual methods.

[Mike]

On Oct 11, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<ae15331b-2614-4c5f...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > that's so weak it's just disgusting a modern AI
> > > is programmed to recognize such classical philosophical paradoxes and steer
> > > around them through the use of cybernetics, cybernetics is used to steer
> > > around such traps like that , the term cybernetics comes from the term for
> > > helmsman or steersman , a cybernetic system would encounter such classical
> > > paradoxes like that, and merely steer around them, and God save the Queen.
> > Modern AI’s also can lie a lot
>

> They don't lie ; they don't reproduce by sexual methods.

Then they do not do it standing either....

[Don Stockbauer]

oh yes, they do reproduce standing up. I tried to get my robots to stand up to have sex, but I can't stand them.

[Mike]

On Oct 11, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<37f43a49-a787-472e...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > Modern AI’s also can lie a lot
> > >
> > > They don't lie ; they don't reproduce by sexual methods.
> > Then they do not do it standing either....

> oh yes, they do reproduce standing up. I tried to get my robots to stand up
> to have sex, but I can't stand them.

Is that your stand - ard excuse???

[Don Stockbauer]

darlene has a standard excuse for lying down during sex. She can't stand that long.

[Mike]

On Oct 12, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<5bb9952b-ea4f-45d2...@googlegroups.com>):

Then they do not do it standing either....
> > > oh yes, they do reproduce standing up. I tried to get my robots to stand up
> > > to have sex, but I can't stand them.

> > Is that your stand - ard excuse???\ darlene has a standard excuse for lying down during sex. She can't stand that
> long.

But how about for her short clients???

[Don Stockbauer]

Oh, she had this one short client. His height was 12 inches, and the measure between his back and tip of his penis was also 12 inches; he told me that it meant absolutely no difference to him which way he was inserted.

[Mike]

On Oct 13, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<509e3fcd-ab4e-4f6e...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > oh yes, they do reproduce standing up. I tried to get my robots to stand
> > > > > up
> > > > > to have sex, but I can't stand them.
> > > > Is that your stand - ard excuse???\ darlene has a standard excuse for
> > > > lying down during sex. She can't stand that
> > > long.
> >
> > But how about for her short clients???

> Oh, she had this one short client. His height was 12 inches, and the measure
> between his back and tip of his penis was also 12 inches; he told me that it
> meant absolutely no difference to him which way he was inserted.

Oral history???

[Don Stockbauer]

My history teacher in 11th grade was Sally Sue Federman. She had a reputation around campus of bedding some of the high school guys. However, she was very careful about reproduction, so she only gave them oral history.

[Mike]

On Oct 13, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<7aea0242-7101-4d00...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > But how about for her short clients???
> > > Oh, she had this one short client. His height was 12 inches, and the
> > > measure
> > > between his back and tip of his penis was also 12 inches; he told me that
> > > it
> > > meant absolutely no difference to him which way he was inserted.
> > Oral history???

> My history teacher in 11th grade was Sally Sue Federman. She had a reputation
> around campus of bedding some of the high school guys. However, she was very
> careful about reproduction, so she only gave them oral history.

Did she grade them on their performance???

[Don Stockbauer]

yeah, she did grade them. one of them sang Eleanor Rigby, the other one danced the cha-cha , and the third one performed a scene from "The secret afternoons of Pamela Mann " the last guy won.

[Mike]

On Oct 14, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<31daaad6-746b-4a61...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > Oral history???
> > > My history teacher in 11th grade was Sally Sue Federman. She had a
> > > reputation
> > > around campus of bedding some of the high school guys. However, she was
> > > very
> > > careful about reproduction, so she only gave them oral history.
> > Did she grade them on their performance???

> yeah, she did grade them. one of them sang Eleanor Rigby, the other one
> danced the cha-cha , and the third one performed a scene from "The secret
> afternoons of Pamela Mann " the last guy won.

And not arrest for violation of the Mann act???

[Don Stockbauer]

Talking about the Mann Act, here's one I'm sure you've never heard. There was this research scientist who found a chemical in the blood of seagulls which would make porpoises live forever . One morning when he went to his laboratory clutching a bunch of seagulls there was a lion lying in the doorway, not letting him in. However, he needed to get inside so he gingerly stepped over the lion and was successful, so the moral of all this is that you can have a scientist who transports gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.

[Mike]

On Oct 15, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<313015a9-0f3b-4406...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > Did she grade them on their performance???
> > > yeah, she did grade them. one of them sang Eleanor Rigby, the other one
> > > danced the cha-cha , and the third one performed a scene from "The secret
> > > afternoons of Pamela Mann " the last guy won.
> > And not arrest for violation of the Mann act???
>

> Talking about the Mann Act, here's one I'm sure you've never heard. There was
> this research scientist who found a chemical in the blood of seagulls which
> would make porpoises live forever . One morning when he went to his
> laboratory clutching a bunch of seagulls there was a lion lying in the
> doorway, not letting him in. However, he needed to get inside so he gingerly
> stepped over the lion and was successful, so the moral of all this is that
> you can have a scientist who transports gulls across a staid lion for
> immortal porpoises.

You loose -- let Darlene come over and “pay” your loss in trade for you

[Don Stockbauer]

You'd actually have sex with Darlene? Don't you know she has aids, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and that's just on Tuesdays.

[Mike]

On Oct 15, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<e1e8f1fb-472a-4251...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > Talking about the Mann Act, here's one I'm sure you've never heard. There
> > > was
> > > this research scientist who found a chemical in the blood of seagulls which
> > > would make porpoises live forever . One morning when he went to his
> > > laboratory clutching a bunch of seagulls there was a lion lying in the
> > > doorway, not letting him in. However, he needed to get inside so he
> > > gingerly
> > > stepped over the lion and was successful, so the moral of all this is that
> > > you can have a scientist who transports gulls across a staid lion for
> > > immortal porpoises.
> > You loose -- let Darlene come over and “pay” your loss in trade for you

> You'd actually have sex with Darlene? Don't you know she has aids, herpes,
> syphilis, gonorrhea, and that's just on Tuesdays.

We had Typhoid Mary n ow its Diphtheria Darlene

[Don Stockbauer]

Darlene grew to hate me so she deliberately contracted all those diseases just to punish men.

[Mike]

On Oct 16, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<8abde84b-7577-47d8...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > You loose -- let Darlene come over and “pay” your loss in trade for
> > > > you
> > > You'd actually have sex with Darlene? Don't you know she has aids, herpes,
> > > syphilis, gonorrhea, and that's just on Tuesdays.
> > We had Typhoid Mary n ow its Diphtheria Darlene

> Darlene grew to hate me so she deliberately contracted all those diseases
> just to punish men.

AIDS with population control efforts.

[Don Stockbauer]

ok i'm
suppose I'm on trial for murder is it a valid defense to to tell the judge I was just trying to help with the overpopulation problem?

[Mike]

On Oct 16, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<02119cfe-7d5b-4116...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > You'd actually have sex with Darlene? Don't you know she has aids,
> > > > > herpes,
> > > > > syphilis, gonorrhea, and that's just on Tuesdays.
> > > > We had Typhoid Mary n ow its Diphtheria Darlene
> > > Darlene grew to hate me so she deliberately contracted all those diseases
> > > just to punish men.
> > AIDS with population control efforts.

> ok i'm
> suppose I'm on trial for murder is it a valid defense to to tell the judge I
> was just trying to help with the overpopulation problem?

Dahmer’s defense that he had a eating disorder did not work so I doubt
yours will work either.

[Don Stockbauer]

What I really like about Dahmer's MO was his innovation. He used an electric drill to perform primitive lobotomies on his capturees to keep them calmed down.

[Mike]

On Oct 17, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<60f060f9-4923-43d4...@googlegroups.com>):

Darlene grew to hate me so she deliberately contracted all those diseases
> > > > > just to punish men.
> > > > AIDS with population control efforts.
> > > ok i'm
> > > suppose I'm on trial for murder is it a valid defense to to tell the judge
> > > I
> > > was just trying to help with the overpopulation problem?
> > Dahmer’s defense that he had a eating disorder did not work so I doubt
> > yours will work either.
>

> What I really like about Dahmer's MO was his innovation. He used an electric
> drill to perform primitive lobotomies on his capturees to keep them calmed
> down.

Crude but effective.

[Don Stockbauer]

he boiled some of his victims in crude oil, but that's another story

just like Mad magazine had Captain Klutz climbing from the first to the second floor of a building , he said "I need to go one floor up, but that's another story."

[Mike]

On Oct 18, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7f130504-1e7e-4d14...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > Dahmer’s defense that he had a eating disorder did not work so I doubt
> > > > yours will work either.
> > >
> > > What I really like about Dahmer's MO was his innovation. He used an
> > > electric
> > > drill to perform primitive lobotomies on his capturees to keep them calmed
> > > down.
> > Crude but effective.
>

> he boiled some of his victims in crude oil, but that's another story
>
> just like Mad magazine had Captain Klutz climbing from the first to the
> second floor of a building , he said "I need to go one floor up, but that's

> another story.”

But taking the elevator would have been an uplifting experience for him.

[Don Stockbauer]

I told Darlene "God, you have ugly sagging tits. Why don't you go in for an uplifting experience?"

[Mike]

On Oct 18, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<a0d8dadb-f917-4351...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > What I really like about Dahmer's MO was his innovation. He used an
> > > > > electric
> > > > > drill to perform primitive lobotomies on his capturees to keep them
> > > > > calmed
> > > > > down.
> > > > Crude but effective.
> > >
> > > he boiled some of his victims in crude oil, but that's another story
> > >
> > > just like Mad magazine had Captain Klutz climbing from the first to the
> > > second floor of a building , he said "I need to go one floor up, but that's
> > > another story.”
> >
> > But taking the elevator would have been an uplifting experience for him.

> I told Darlene "God, you have ugly sagging tits. Why don't you go in for an

> uplifting experience?”

Tha has bra - d implications

[Don Stockbauer]

Size D? That doesn't touch it with Darlene. that big titted gal is a size K.

[Mike]

On Oct 18, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<7eb8034f-fa1c-4e38...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > Crude but effective. he boiled some of his victims in crude oil, but that's another story
> > > > >
> > > > > just like Mad magazine had Captain Klutz climbing from the first to the
> > > > > second floor of a building , he said "I need to go one floor up, but
> > > > > that's
> > > > > another story.” But taking the elevator would have been an uplifting experience for him.
> > > I told Darlene "God, you have ugly sagging tits. Why don't you go in for an
> > > uplifting experience?” Tha has bra - d implications
>

> Size D? That doesn't touch it with Darlene. that big titted gal is a size K.

Sounds like she is padding her ------ resume

[Don Stockbauer]

Darlene updated her résumé and went to the Victoria house of ill repute. She claimed she had sex with lifetime total of 5008 men when it was really just 4678, she claimed she had sex with 2855 women when it was only 2733 .

[Mike]

On Oct 19, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<4a2fef59-3c8d-4137...@googlegroups.com>):

just like Mad magazine had Captain Klutz climbing from the first to the
> > > > > > > second floor of a building , he said "I need to go one floor up, but
> > > > > > > that's
> > > > > > > another story.” But taking the elevator would have been an uplifting
> > > > > > > experience for him.
> > > > > I told Darlene "God, you have ugly sagging tits. Why don't you go in for
> > > > > an
> > > > > uplifting experience?” Tha has bra - d implications Size D? That doesn't touch it with Darlene. that big titted gal is a size
> > > K.

> > Sounds like she is padding her ------ resume Darlene updated her résumé and went to the Victoria house of ill repute.

> She claimed she had sex with lifetime total of 5008 men when it was really
> just 4678, she claimed she had sex with 2855 women when it was only 2733 .

You can’t count on her ability to count.

[Don Stockbauer]

she also likes to do royalty; she's done 2864 counts

[Mike]

On Oct 20, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<b1390768-9544-4455...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > > I told Darlene "God, you have ugly sagging tits. Why don't you go in
> > > > > > > for
> > > > > > > an
> > > > > > > uplifting experience?” Tha has bra - d implications Size D? That
> > > > > > > doesn't touch it with Darlene. that big titted gal is a size
> > > > > K.
> > > > Sounds like she is padding her ------ resume Darlene updated her résumé
> > > > and went to the Victoria house of ill repute.
> > > She claimed she had sex with lifetime total of 5008 men when it was really
> > > just 4678, she claimed she had sex with 2855 women when it was only 2733 .

> > You can’t count on her ability to count. she also likes to do royalty; she's done 2864 counts

Do they duke it our for her “favors"

[Don Stockbauer]

yes, she has parties that she invites Dukes over, and she gives them little like toys and trinkets and whistles, and and so forth, which are her party favors

[Mike]

On Oct 20, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<fdd49d30-8d41-4675...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > > K.
> > > > > > Sounds like she is padding her ------ resume Darlene updated her
> > > > > > résumé
> > > > > > and went to the Victoria house of ill repute.
> > > > > She claimed she had sex with lifetime total of 5008 men when it was
> > > > > really
> > > > > just 4678, she claimed she had sex with 2855 women when it was only 2733
> > > > > .
> > > > You can’t count on her ability to count. she also likes to do royalty;

> > > > she's done 2864 counts Do they duke it our for her “favors" yes, she has parties that she invites Dukes over, and she gives them little

> like toys and trinkets and whistles, and and so forth, which are her party
> favors

Was her generosity baron any real advantage to her or did they just take and
not give???

[Don Stockbauer]

she had a generosity barron and generosity duke and a generosity earl.

[Mike]

On Oct 21, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<f67bb5d8-ddc7-4c5e...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > You can’t count on her ability to count. she also likes to do royalty;
> > > > > > she's done 2864 counts Do they duke it our for her “favors" yes, she
> > > > > > has parties that she invites Dukes over, and she gives them little
> > > like toys and trinkets and whistles, and and so forth, which are her party
> > > favors
> > Was her generosity baron any real advantage to her or did they just take and
> > not give???
>

> she had a generosity barron and generosity duke and a generosity earl.

And did you peer into her bedroom???

[Don Stockbauer]

yes, just like that little boy that peaked into the nudist colony, and you said they had to force him?

[Mike]

On Oct 22, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<50400d50-e368-4d31...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > like toys and trinkets and whistles, and and so forth, which are her
> > > > > party
> > > > > favors
> > > > Was her generosity baron any real advantage to her or did they just take
> > > > and
> > > > not give???
> > >
> > > she had a generosity barron and generosity duke and a generosity earl.
> > And did you peer into her bedroom???

> yes, just like that little boy that peaked into the nudist colony, and you
> said they had to force him?

Was the Force with you???

[Don Stockbauer]

yes, I had a copy of Spaceballs with me.

[Mike]

On Oct 22, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<48ccef8c-f371-41b2...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > Was her generosity baron any real advantage to her or did they just take
> > > > > > and
> > > > > > not give???
> > > > >
> > > > > she had a generosity barron and generosity duke and a generosity earl.
> > > > And did you peer into her bedroom???
> > > yes, just like that little boy that peaked into the nudist colony, and you
> > > said they had to force him?
> > Was the Force with you???

> yes, I had a copy of Spaceballs with me.

Saves you from suffering any high anxiety

[Don Stockbauer]

I was riding a horse out here on the ranch and a terrorist came up and poured a gallon of gasoline underneath me and lit it. I had a Blazing Saddle.

[Mike]

On Oct 22, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<87f4b211-8198-4abc...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > > she had a generosity barron and generosity duke and a generosity earl.
> > > > > > And did you peer into her bedroom???
> > > > > yes, just like that little boy that peaked into the nudist colony, and
> > > > > you
> > > > > said they had to force him?
> > > > Was the Force with you???
> > > yes, I had a copy of Spaceballs with me.

> > Saves you from suffering any high anxiety I was riding a horse out here on the ranch and a terrorist came up and poured

> a gallon of gasoline underneath me and lit it. I had a Blazing Saddle.

Well, life stinks and some people just have to make it worse.

[Don Stockbauer]

yes, I was once in a cattle rendering plant which is god-awful stinky enough and then one of my admirers came up and smashed cow crap in my face just making it worse

[Mike]

On Oct 23, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<1e81f549-c102-4b4e...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > > > And did you peer into her bedroom???
> > > > > > > yes, just like that little boy that peaked into the nudist colony, and
> > > > > > > you
> > > > > > > said they had to force him?
> > > > > > Was the Force with you???
> > > > > yes, I had a copy of Spaceballs with me.
> > > > Saves you from suffering any high anxiety I was riding a horse out here
> > > > on the ranch and a terrorist came up and poured
> > > a gallon of gasoline underneath me and lit it. I had a Blazing Saddle.

> > Well, life stinks and some people just have to make it worse. yes, I was once in a cattle rendering plant which is god-awful stinky enough

> and then one of my admirers came up and smashed cow crap in my face just
> making it worse

Actually that was a die hard vegetarian protesting the slaughter of the
cattle.

[Don Stockbauer]

I had a diehard vegetarian come out here to the ranch and being a cattle man, I just hate vegetarians so I decided to kill him. I fed him Marlate, which is a cattle insect killer, and I found some plutonium, but he kept living on and on, finally I mixed some AIDS virus stuff into his food, and he finally died and so he was really a diehard vegetarian.

[Mike]

On Oct 23, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<c697b30b-d78f-4956...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > > > > Was the Force with you???
> > > > > > > yes, I had a copy of Spaceballs with me.
> > > > > > Saves you from suffering any high anxiety I was riding a horse out here
> > > > > > on the ranch and a terrorist came up and poured
> > > > > a gallon of gasoline underneath me and lit it. I had a Blazing Saddle.
> > > > Well, life stinks and some people just have to make it worse. yes, I was
> > > > once in a cattle rendering plant which is god-awful stinky enough
> > > and then one of my admirers came up and smashed cow crap in my face just
> > > making it worse
> > Actually that was a die hard vegetarian protesting the slaughter of the
> > cattle.
>

> I had a diehard vegetarian come out here to the ranch and being a cattle man,
> I just hate vegetarians so I decided to kill him. I fed him Marlate, which is
> a cattle insect killer, and I found some plutonium, but he kept living on and
> on, finally I mixed some AIDS virus stuff into his food, and he finally died
> and so he was really a diehard vegetarian.

You should have planted some endangered species on top of his/her grave.
That way no one could legally dig there looking for the body.

[Don Stockbauer]

that wouldn't deter the law-enforcement we have around here ; they'd just get the endangered species act rescinded.

[Mike]

On Oct 24, 2023, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<c3f07841-bb5a-4239...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > > and then one of my admirers came up and smashed cow crap in my face just
> > > > > making it worse
> > > > Actually that was a die hard vegetarian protesting the slaughter of the
> > > > cattle. I had a diehard vegetarian come out here to the ranch and being a cattle
> > > man,
> > > I just hate vegetarians so I decided to kill him. I fed him Marlate, which
> > > is
> > > a cattle insect killer, and I found some plutonium, but he kept living on
> > > and
> > > on, finally I mixed some AIDS virus stuff into his food, and he finally
> > > died
> > > and so he was really a diehard vegetarian.
> > You should have planted some endangered species on top of his/her grave.
> > That way no one could legally dig there looking for the body.

> that wouldn't deter the law-enforcement we have around here ; they'd just get
> the endangered species act rescinded.

What with their good old boy network in play, why would they bother
waiting???

[Don Stockbauer]

A homeless person told me that he was locked up so if you act up in jail, they have a big chair that they strap you into for hours on end. If you need to go to the bathroom, you're forced to do it on the chair.