Kidnapping reported

[Mike]

A woman reported being kidnapped by a group of mimes.
Unspeakable things were dome to her.

Michael LeVine
mle...@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

[Don Stockbauer]

Marcel Marceau once went on the Tonight Show , he had the feeling that his act was a little off so to be sure the audience understood he started yelling at the top of his lungs "Hey, look at this, I'm pulling on this rope here, and I'm trapped inside this invisible building with invisible walls!!!!!"

[Mike]

On Nov 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<3c3c3273-1858-4090...@googlegroups.com>):

> and I'm trapped inside this invisible building with invisible walls!!!!!”

But he was yelling in the wrong direction,
it should have been at the audience not his own organs

[Don Stockbauer]

The phrase "yelling at the top of his lungs" is just an idiot.

[Mike]

On Nov 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<8dc7113d-aaba-4e5a...@googlegroups.com>):

I tried to tell you to keep a lung story short -- but its too late.

[Don Stockbauer]

This is a very good point you raise. why is the idiom "yelling at the top of one's lungs" when actually the entire lung is involved?

[Mike]

On Nov 5, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<93a095fd-4698-42a9...@googlegroups.com>):

Do you really want to continue this organ recital???

[Don Stockbauer]

You're so silly; kidneys can't sing!

[Mike]

On Nov 6, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<a0643a37-ceed-4789...@googlegroups.com>):

But they do complain

[Don Stockbauer]

I went to the butcher to buy some kidneys and he was out of them so he told me "I kidney you not".

[Mike]

On Nov 7, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<6964d47f-1309-4070...@googlegroups.com>):

No need to ex - spleen it to me

[Don Stockbauer]

I had gotten in band with this fellow and we really hated one another and he really vented his spleen on me but then we got to be good friends so now his attitude toward me is ex-spleen:

[Mike]

On Nov 7, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<6b561dc0-93ca-4d81...@googlegroups.com>):

And how did you endocrine - ate him into that??

[Don Stockbauer]

He was a vicious criminal ; I got out my 44 magnum and levelled it at him and said "you will be good from now on ; this will be the end-of-crime for you."

[Mike]

On Nov 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<41d70d9d-37dc-45a4...@googlegroups.com>):

> said "you will be good from now on ; this will be the end-of-crime for you.”
Shooting him with it would be easier, unless you could not afford the
bullets.

[Don Stockbauer]

I was creating a report one time for my important job at NASA and the printer was really running low on toner so I printed the main body of the report but I couldn't afford the bullets.

[Mike]

On Nov 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<605875e9-eb76-4476...@googlegroups.com>):

Points taken

[Don Stockbauer]

Now I know what happened . I'm the world's foremost arrowhead hunter and some of my arrowheads were missing and you took my points.

[Mike]

On Nov 9, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<0584d84e-5fe5-4647...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Wednesday, November 9, 2022 at 5:21:16 AM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> > On Nov 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<605875e9-eb76-4476...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > I was creating a report one time for my important job at NASA and the
> > > printer
> > > was really running low on toner so I printed the main body of the report
> > > but
> > > I couldn't afford the bullets.
>

> Now I know what happened . I'm the world's foremost arrowhead hunter and some
> of my arrowheads were missing and you took my points.

Fletcher “proof” one there and try and prove it.

[Don Stockbauer]

I don't have to prove it ; your girlfriend/wife lacks significant well formed desirable points so you stole some from me.

[Mike]

On Nov 9, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<aaafd5f8-d8e9-436e...@googlegroups.com>):

You could not have paid me enough to take it off your hands

[Don Stockbauer]

Your girlfriends/wife/whatever points were in my hands ; the two of us caught you going out for beer and we had at it.

not really I'm lying

[Mike]

On Nov 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<a2fa5284-5869-4b41...@googlegroups.com>):

But you can lie standing up too.

[Don Stockbauer]

I can lie standing up . that's a direct contradiction. logically a direct contradiction implies any result. for instance it would imply the statement. "he is an honest politician."

[Mike]

On Nov 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<268183e0-2fe8-41b3...@googlegroups.com>):

> "he is an honest politician.”

Then there is the tombstone that reads
“Here lies an honest man and a lawyer”
2 people in one grave --- saves space..

[Don Stockbauer]

Then there's that old favorite , what do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A start.

[Mike]

On Nov 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<be43d0df-efb1-431c...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Friday, November 11, 2022 at 2:35:11 PM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> > On Nov 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<268183e0-2fe8-41b3...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > I can lie standing up . that's a direct contradiction. logically a direct
> > > contradiction implies any result. for instance it would imply the
> > > statement.
> > > "he is an honest politician.”
> >
> > Then there is the tombstone that reads
> > “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer”
> > 2 people in one grave --- saves space..
>

> Then there's that old favorite , what do you call 10,000 lawyers at the
> bottom of the ocean? A start.

The problem is that 99% who give a bad name to the other 1%

[Don Stockbauer]

On Saturday, November 12, 2022 at 5:10:30 AM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> On Nov 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<be43d0df-efb1-431c...@googlegroups.com>):
> > On Friday, November 11, 2022 at 2:35:11 PM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> > > On Nov 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > (in article<268183e0-2fe8-41b3...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > > I can lie standing up . that's a direct contradiction. logically a direct
> > > > contradiction implies any result. for instance it would imply the
> > > > statement.
> > > > "he is an honest politician.”
> > >
> > > Then there is the tombstone that reads
> > > “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer”
> > > 2 people in one grave --- saves space..
> >
> > Then there's that old favorite , what do you call 10,000 lawyers at the
> > bottom of the ocean? A start.
> The problem is that 99% who give a bad name to the other 1%
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

That's really a shame that the 99% gave a bad name to the one percent; you'd think they'd be more careful when they gave out the names of people to screw.

[Mike]

On Nov 12, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<bddad009-586c-4379...@googlegroups.com>):

Right now the current cause/class action de-jur is Camp Lejune

[Don Stockbauer]

Yeah, the situation applies to maybe a thousandth of 1% of the population, yet everybody gets tortured with the commercials forever.

[Mike]

On Nov 13, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<b391d431-e0eb-4baa...@googlegroups.com>):

And when this one plays out, they fall back to Mesothelioma....

[Don Stockbauer]

Just like on Facebook you'll have an ad "does your IT group properly know how to handle ransomware",
like me living alone on a ranch , retired has an IT group?

[Mike]

On Nov 13, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<10f379e5-61c5-4de3...@googlegroups.com>):

But if one does show up at your door, you do know how to group your shots??

[Don Stockbauer]

The closest I come to an IT group is when a group of us get together to discuss Stephen King's IT.

[Mike]

On Nov 14, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<8ce19a9b-cc11-47cd...@googlegroups.com>):

You do have to take a stand someplace.

[Don Stockbauer]

Do you know that Adam sold fruit for a living ? And that Eve was the first carpenter? Because she made Adam's banana stand.

[Mike]

On Nov 14, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<337e7e82-7892-4bca...@googlegroups.com>):

She adam where she wanted him.

[Don Stockbauer]

By the two spherical objects, and that's where women have had men ever since.

[Mike]

On Nov 15, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7309e707-454c-4624...@googlegroups.com>):

Something all men are suckers for.

[Don Stockbauer]

mostly gay men.

[Mike]

On Nov 15, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<6a5823a5-556b-4ac3...@googlegroups.com>):

They do have to make the breast of what they have.,

[Don Stockbauer]

What a little they have of breasts. and they wouldn't be caught anywhere near the real McCoy.

[Mike]

On Nov 15, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<1c1ac387-dd38-4e3e...@googlegroups.com>):

But would have no Bones about seeing Dr McCoy.

[Don Stockbauer]

There was this really great episode of "To tell the truth " quiz show.

The first of the three contestants comes out and says "I am a sock tucker. I'm a gentleman's gentleman and I tuck in his socks before he has a night on the town."

The next fellow said "I am a cork sacker. I work at a factory that makes corks , millions of them , and I sack them up for sale."

The third guy comes out and says "Sock tucker? Cork sacker? Hey guys , I'm the real McCoy!!!!"

[Mike]

On Nov 16, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<f943bd0b-f7e9-438c...@googlegroups.com>):

> the real McCoy!!!!”

Sucker bait

[Don Stockbauer]

Darlene and I went fishing and we ran out of regular food and we were starving to death so I told her to sucker bait.

[Mike]

On Nov 16, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<0c53193d-0cd1-4594...@googlegroups.com>):

You blew it with that suggestion

[Don Stockbauer]

Captain Ahab came back from a whaling expedition (this was before he died at the hands of the Great White Whale), he got a look through the window of the New Bedford house of ill repute and he exclaimed "thar she blows".

[Mike]

On Nov 17, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<1a6d89fc-3d6b-4574...@googlegroups.com>):

The local bawdy shop

[Don Stockbauer]

I had a wreck , I went into the local body shop here and walked inside and the guy was selling corpses.

[Mike]

On Nov 17, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<57af8dd7-2fe5-4d25...@googlegroups.com>):

The truth of that remains to be seen

[Don Stockbauer]

Donald Trump got involved in a car wreck and he died! He was given a burial in line with his term as President; one arm sticking out of the ground.

[Mike]

On Nov 18, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<b3dc56d3-d19f-46a6...@googlegroups.com>):

Giving every one the one finger salute??

[Don Stockbauer]

Give the man credit for getting in one last insult to the American people.

[Mike]

On Nov 18, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<1fb46db0-4bd0-4d74...@googlegroups.com>):

And the train wreck he made of his political party.

[Don Stockbauer]

it all proves that lemmings will follow any leader.

[Mike]

On Nov 19, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7deaaae3-ddf9-4702...@googlegroups.com>):

When your thirsty, even a glass of Lemming Juice tastes good

[Don Stockbauer]

Arthur C Clarke wrote a short story that lemmings are merely the descendants of some kind of ancient alien race that landed here on earth and something about the souls of these aliens were transferred to the lemmings and forced them to dive off cliffs or whatever , I've really been meaning to go look it up and just have so many other things to do like clean the water heaters.

[Mike]

On Nov 19, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<be185e53-4c39-4692...@googlegroups.com>):

From “The Collected Stories of Arthur C. Clarke” Page 423 “The
Possessed"

[Don Stockbauer]

yes yes that's correct , the first Arthur C Clarke story I ever read was "'rescue party "in seventh grade which would've been about when I was 13 , went on to many of his other stories , childhood's end, exile of the eons , the Sentinel , my very favorite story was some sort of collaboration with Stanley Kubrick, I forget its title now. It's a short term memory thing.

[Mike]

On Nov 19, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<1962dcc5-9445-4b98...@googlegroups.com>):

The Sentinel was his work alone. You are thinking of “2001: A Space
Odyssey” the
movie and novelization were and expansion/sequel/followup to the short story.

[Don Stockbauer]

Well, I told you my mammaries are getting really bad.

[Mike]

On Nov 20, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<b3aa0277-bb0c-4d06...@googlegroups.com>):

And you are milking that problem to death.

[Don Stockbauer]

We all remember that movie Hatari or Daktari which ever one that was, it showed Red buttons milking a goat , he says to John Wayne "I'm hardly getting any milk here " and John Wayne says to him "That's a ram you've got a hold of there, pilgrim."
Boy, that was risque that he would say something like that!!!!!!

[Mike]

On Nov 20, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<d855ad20-a306-46f0...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Sunday, November 20, 2022 at 11:53:55 AM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> > On Nov 20, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<b3aa0277-bb0c-4d06...@googlegroups.com>):
> > >

> > > Well, I told you my mammaries are getting really bad.
> > And you are milking that problem to death.
>

> We all remember that movie Hatari or Daktari which ever one that was, it
> showed Red buttons milking a goat , he says to John Wayne "I'm hardly getting
> any milk here " and John Wayne says to him "That's a ram you've got a hold of
> there, pilgrim."
> Boy, that was risque that he would say something like that!!!!!!

That was Hatari, Daktari was a TV show with a cross eyed lion.

[Don Stockbauer]

On Monday, November 21, 2022 at 1:55:51 AM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> On Nov 20, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> (in article<d855ad20-a306-46f0...@googlegroups.com>):
> > On Sunday, November 20, 2022 at 11:53:55 AM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> > > On Nov 20, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > > (in article<b3aa0277-bb0c-4d06...@googlegroups.com>):
> > > >
> > > > Well, I told you my mammaries are getting really bad.
> > > And you are milking that problem to death.
> >
> > We all remember that movie Hatari or Daktari which ever one that was, it
> > showed Red buttons milking a goat , he says to John Wayne "I'm hardly getting
> > any milk here " and John Wayne says to him "That's a ram you've got a hold of
> > there, pilgrim."
> > Boy, that was risque that he would say something like that!!!!!!
> That was Hatari, Daktari was a TV show with a cross eyed lion.
> Michael LeVine
> mle...@redshift.com
>
> Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> finding it everywhere,
> diagnosing it incorrectly,
> and applying the wrong remedies.
> Groucho Marx

A cross-eyed lion drinking daiquiris?

[Mike]

On Nov 21, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<a4ec9214-0835-46fe...@googlegroups.com>):

What do you think made him cross eyed.

[Don Stockbauer]

It could be from Red Buttons giving him a milk job

[Mike]

On Nov 21, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<60291af2-0d47-4ca7...@googlegroups.com>):

JUst what are you inseminateing about him???

[Don Stockbauer]

If I tried to inseminate a lion , especially using the natural method, I'd be inside the lion, stomach that is.

[Mike]

On Nov 22, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<19e4ea29-0c26-47ca...@googlegroups.com>):

Then the local newspaper will have the event in their head lions with the
rest of the news.

[Don Stockbauer]

they actually taught some lions how to perform fellatio and they called those lions the headlines

[Mike]

On Nov 23, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<efd7fb35-af68-48fc...@googlegroups.com>):

But would not receive the same publicity as a Bobbet - ectomy.

[Don Stockbauer]

sometimes it rains Highup on the mountains then sometimes it rains way down in the valleys , that's called the low rain uh.

[Mike]

On Nov 23, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<9e49d087-dc3c-4808...@googlegroups.com>):

Why are you torrent- ing me with your obscure references??

[Don Stockbauer]

My marijuana cigarettes are not obscure ; I buy them from a major manufacturer.

[Mike]

On Nov 24, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<ae90e712-4700-437d...@googlegroups.com>):

Only once his superiors find out, he will be busted down to Private.

[Don Stockbauer]

all of his superiors decided to take a three hour cruise on Lake Superior.

[Mike]

On Nov 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<5e644caa-b4f1-41ae...@googlegroups.com>):

So, Captain Grumby moved his tour operation someplace safer.

[Don Stockbauer]

I didn't know the Captain had a Tor operation.

[Mike]

On Nov 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<d2ab694d-58a7-4324...@googlegroups.com>):

It was a tor - able choice of locations.

[Don Stockbauer]

Sounds like that wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald song by Gordon Lightfoot which just goes to show that when you have a modern industrial civilization that you have a great big accidents every now and then

[Mike]

On Nov 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<8728d9e0-9b51-4f30...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Saturday, November 26, 2022 at 3:57:08 AM UTC-6, Mike wrote:
> > On Nov 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<d2ab694d-58a7-4324...@googlegroups.com>):

> > It was a tor - able choice of locations.
>

> Sounds like that wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald song by Gordon Lightfoot
> which just goes to show that when you have a modern industrial civilization
> that you have a great big accidents every now and then

And the rest you attribute to broken condoms????

[Don Stockbauer]

Have you ever read the warnings on a package of condoms?

They read "What if the condom breaks?"

and the answer is "do not panic ; remain calm ; set aside $30,000 a year for 18 years."

[Mike]

On Nov 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<3a0736c8-2c0d-41f6...@googlegroups.com>):

> 18 years.”
Egyptian flu is expensive to treat. youtube.com/watch?v=ZTPKfixHO6g
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTPKfixHO6g)

[Don Stockbauer]

There are two follies associated with the Egyptian pyramids :

One, that they were built at all.

two, that will be gawked at by tourists until erosion levels them flat.

[Mike]

On Nov 27, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<6a5549f7-a2c2-4b71...@googlegroups.com>):

The wear and tear from tourists will do that

[Don Stockbauer]

Especially if the tourists get tourista and find themselves running all over the grounds looking for a toilet causing enhanced erosion.

[Mike]

On Nov 27, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<9fa28ead-58b8-4dc2...@googlegroups.com>):

Montezuma will get is revenge no matter how far away you get,.

[Don Stockbauer]

Darlene took a water Zuma class , this strange guy kept coming up behind her trying to crawl up her back apparently thinking he could achieve some type of sexual relationship with her ; we're calling it the Mount Zuma incident.

[Mike]

On Nov 28, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7ce2a95f-e0d6-4f90...@googlegroups.com>):

Son of a beach.....

[Don Stockbauer]

I was arrested by a policeman for profanity because I was strolling down the beach and he came up behind me and I was admiring the clear non-cloudiness of the day so I was saying sunny beaches , sunny beaches.

[Mike]

On Nov 28, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<58b0935b-850b-4156...@googlegroups.com>):

You shore got yourself in trouble that time

[Don Stockbauer]

Yes , I did have dinner with Dinah way back.

[Mike]

On Nov 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<98b8d3ca-0123-45fa...@googlegroups.com>):

For one I did not have to supper they her :cooking"

[Don Stockbauer]

Dinah and I would often cook our supper together , we would put a red hot skillet halfway between our bodies and things would get really hot between us.

[Mike]

On Dec 1, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<51b28b06-41bf-460c...@googlegroups.com>):

But neither of you have skillet cooking

[Don Stockbauer]

Yes we do have skillet cooking , we cook right there in the skillet with skill.

[Mike]

On Dec 2, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<bb59e81f-c02d-4c31...@googlegroups.com>):

But when it does not work out, everything goes to pot

[Don Stockbauer]

Yes, everything goes to pot. And I'm talking about my pot gut , a huge swollen distended ugly mass of ugly fat.