Lubrication

[Jason Evans]

I am reading a book on the history of lubricants.

It's non friction.

[Mike]

On May 26, 2022, Jason Evans wrote
(in article <jdLjK.65537$tX09....@fx10.ams1>):

> I am reading a book on the history of lubricants.
>
> It's non friction.

That’s one way to grease your way into this group.

Michael LeVine
mle...@redshift.com

Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it everywhere,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

[Don Stockbauer]

The squeaky pun gets the grease.

[Mike]

On May 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<01738f7e-5b7b-44ff...@googlegroups.com>):

Good lard almighty..

[Don Stockbauer]

Sometimes, but often it is rancid , stinky , black and yucky , just no good at all.

[Mike]

On May 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<1c5fb64f-4610-4c66...@googlegroups.com>):

So it does not rank high in your list of pleasant experiences.

[Don Stockbauer]

Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner CBE bought a new car ; when he went to the dealership to pick it up the salesman got out the key and said "This is the Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner CBE key."

[Mike]

On May 27, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<f1338491-cbb0-49a9...@googlegroups.com>):

> Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner CBE key.”
But the key was B flat and hen sang C sharp

[Don Stockbauer]

Whenever I be flat , that is , sleep , my dreams always show me a sea shark , since I always dream about oceanic topics.

[Mike]

On May 28, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<6c12d501-f85b-4857...@googlegroups.com>):

Should I wave to you as you sail by??

[Don Stockbauer]

When I opened up my little philosophy shop people would come by and say your philosophy is too high in cost, when can I get a good deal on your philosophy, so I tell them I will have a sale by next Tuesday.

[Mike]

On May 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<2bf6f787-14a5-4e27...@googlegroups.com>):

Could that be called a sale-itory greeting??

[Don Stockbauer]

Your mention of saltatory makes me want to leap inbounds and not just walk continuously

[Mike]

On May 30, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<e8c00db7-8cf1-4a63...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Sunday, May 29, 2022 at 12:02:59 PM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On May 29, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<2bf6f787-14a5-4e27...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > When I opened up my little philosophy shop people would come by and say
> > > your
> > > philosophy is too high in cost, when can I get a good deal on your
> > > philosophy, so I tell them I will have a sale by next Tuesday.
> > Could that be called a sale-itory greeting??
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> Your mention of saltatory makes me want to leap inbounds and not just walk
> continuously

Leaps and bounds??? Are you a kangaroo now??

[Don Stockbauer]

yes I am a kangaroo now I perfected a machine where you walk in and you enter the new kind of animal you want to be and it makes you that kind of animal so I walk in and my mind contained the thought of a kangaroo because one had married my sister and I became a kangaroo this is not a lie also , this is not a pipe. - Magritte

[Mike]

On May 31, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<a91dfd64-c0f9-4c03...@googlegroups.com>):

Well, I have been told it helps to know the lie of the land...

[Don Stockbauer]

Well the lie of the land is that we're all going to come out OK from Putin's war whereas in reality we'll all be dead.

[Lafe]

Jason Evans <jse...@mailfence.com> wrote in news:jdLjK.65537$tX09.27657
@fx10.ams1:

> I am reading a book on the history of lubricants.
>
> It's non friction.

History is full of those who lubricant. We need to find a path towards those
who lubrican!

Then we, like time, will slip more easily into the future.

Lafe

[Mike]

On May 31, 2022, Lafe wrote
(in article <t76j64$6cu$1...@dont-email.me>):

Fat chance of that

[Mike]

On May 31, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<7fada045-8a7b-42a6...@googlegroups.com>):

A bury bad outlook

[Don Stockbauer]

Khrushchev told us that he would bury us which is actually a pretty good plan when you watch all these funeral insurance advertisements on TV, having Russians come over here and bury us free would be a pretty good deal the only trouble is some of them aren't very skilled and they tend to leave people's hands sticking out of the ground.

[Mike]

On Jun 1, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<f2c643e4-6cd5-4623...@googlegroups.com>):

Next, the Inter Sanctum???

[Don Stockbauer]

I told Darlene we were going to enter a sanctum , a very religious and special place but it turned out to be just my back bedroom where we engaged in, well, I just can't say it in this forum.

[Mike]

On Jun 2, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<b4c5044b-81f9-4fc2...@googlegroups.com>):

You can’t admit just playing patty cake???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZFqEt666oo

[Don Stockbauer]

Darlene isnt of very high intelligence , we brought her out a birthday cake and she started playing Patty cake with the cake itself , she got frosting all over her hands.

[Mike]

On Jun 3, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<d6b30598-4dab-44fa...@googlegroups.com>):

So she quickly put a finger on her real problem.

[Don Stockbauer]

Sarah (my mistress when I'm cheating on Darlene ) told me that I am not to touch her object of womanly love for a while , there's something about the reason why she told me not to do that but I just can't put my finger on it.

[Mike]

On Jun 4, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<c3f5eb5a-7050-44a8...@googlegroups.com>):

You hole-ly missed the reason for it

[Don Stockbauer]

There was a nun that a priest told she should anoint with holy water any part of her body which engaged in a sexual discretion so she went up to the holy water fountain and gargled.

[Mike]

On Jun 5, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<c7e374f1-6291-4871...@googlegroups.com>):

And when it was his turn??

[Don Stockbauer]

Oh , he was next since those two are a couple.

[Mike]

On Jun 6, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<05e2132f-4b06-4179...@googlegroups.com>):

Talk about bad habit's

[Don Stockbauer]

There was a phrase which was popular in London many years ago where ruffians would harass a nice fancy lady with the phrase"what a shocking bad hat " There was a convent back then where the phrase was "what a shocking bad habit".

[Mike]

On Jun 7, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<0d8ea3be-52f9-410e...@googlegroups.com>):

Togs is cheap, what action did you take

[Don Stockbauer]

actually this is a real story no lie at all but I was reading my copy of Charles McKay's extraordinary popular delusions in the madness of crowds and I was back to that part about slang phrases running around in London like 300 years ago and one of them was "what a shocking bad hat " but another one is that they would use is "who are you ?" and right when I was reading the write up about the phrase running around in 300 year ago London which was "who are you " damned if I didn't have the radio on and then right then they were playing The Who song "who are you " and it was like some type of synchronicity or coincidence or something it was just mine boggling just like bo pilgrim and it was just disorienting and I and I and I ........fainted

[Don Stockbauer]

And we won't say a word about Darlene's lack of lubrication and the problems that causes.

[Mike]

On Jun 7, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<a137b103-d3a1-4ad5...@googlegroups.com>):

And indeed tht was a faint attempt

[Mike]

On Jun 7, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<9d74609a-4b23-4874...@googlegroups.com>):

So you have to get her well lubricated before she looses consciousness so you
can use her??

[Don Stockbauer]

Actually, I was feigning a faint.

[Mike]

On Jun 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<eb15151a-49e5-43e7...@googlegroups.com>):

Pretending to be of faint heart???

[Don Stockbauer]

Actually, I have to get Darlene all lubricated up (that is ,drunk and blind ) before she'll have sex with me.

[Mike]

On Jun 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<fc12431f-e9ca-46a6...@googlegroups.com>):

A habit like that is a really slippery slope,

[Don Stockbauer]

I was once on a slippery slope I'm lucky I wasn't killed no sonny Bono was killed on a slippery slope do you know what I heard I heard that share arranged all of his funeral and stuff and his poor real wife didn't get to do crap now that's not fair that's not the cowboy way I really resent it that although I have nothing to say about it

[Mike]

On Jun 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<0e5cae90-2d48-4b28...@googlegroups.com>):

And it took you 69 words to say you had nothing to cher with us

[Don Stockbauer]

how did you know it was 69 words ?you have one of those fancy Schmancy editors that'll actually count words for you ? I don't have anything like that the iPhone editors are really wonderful they'll actually shift the area you were typing at off screen so you can't see it that's a nice touch

[Mike]

On Jun 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<585acc6b-7f5f-4b6e...@googlegroups.com>):

I do not need such a phone-y excuse.

[Don Stockbauer]

A phony excuse so is a phony excuse like you call your wife with your phone and you tell her that you got to make a shopping trip to the grocery store whereas in reality you're meeting your mistress for 14 days of wild passionate love in Bermuda?

[Mike]

On Jun 9, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<2ef67475-be10-4b7e...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Thursday, June 9, 2022 at 3:31:24 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On Jun 8, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<585acc6b-7f5f-4b6e...@googlegroups.com>):

> > > > \

> > > how did you know it was 69 words ?you have one of those fancy Schmancy
> > > editors that'll actually count words for you ? I don't have anything like
> > > that the iPhone editors are really wonderful they'll actually shift the
> > > area
> > > you were typing at off screen so you can't see it that's a nice touch
> > I do not need such a phone-y excuse.
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> A phony excuse so is a phony excuse like you call your wife with your phone
> and you tell her that you got to make a shopping trip to the grocery store
> whereas in reality you're meeting your mistress for 14 days of wild
> passionate love in Bermuda?

Sham on you ---- for not inviting me to the party.

[Don Stockbauer]

Well we needed to get Trump elected and we already had enough members in the party to do it so I guess you just got overlooked I'm sorry it won't happen again

[Mike]

On Jun 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<2c8d9812-816f-4c87...@googlegroups.com>):

So now you have gotten so desperate you have to play the trump card!!!!!

[Don Stockbauer]

I really wish I were a better bridge player, every time I play someone trumps me.

[Mike]

On Jun 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<c0b6cbcd-2bc6-4499...@googlegroups.com>):

For you to do so would be setting a president.

[Mike]

On Jun 10, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<e369418a-e756-43bf...@googlegroups.com>):

> well you just go get lubricated buddy boy I've had enough of this this is
> just sickening this is a waste of my time I could be out there harvesting
> pecans so that everybody gets a little pecan half on their cupcake but no I'm
> wasting time here and look at this what is the six and seven postings for
> iteration here and you get them out there within about five minutes because
> you're so enthralled with all this and anyway Hallock was a much better pun
> guy but he cheated me out of some of my pun intended issues that's why I
> never went back and I drop them and then in and also just a minute just a
> minute just a minute Dave the AE 35 and 10 appointing unit will fail in 72
> hours yes that's a firm estimate what's that how you're asking why I'm
> terminating this little TRT with Mike well TRTTTETERTETETETEAATETE well you
> know it's just typical of the way Mike works it's kind of starts out pleasant
> with a a few normal phones and then things just get worse and worse and
> nastier nastier and it just gets to the point where you don't even want to
> talk to the guy anymore and that's that's the point we've come to

I will drink to that

[Don Stockbauer]

Tonto became civilized and moved to the city , he was wandering around looking for some reading material and he stopped at a newsstand and it was just the proprietor and himself and a white man there buying magazines .Tonto asked the white man if he could suggest a magazine , the white man said Oui and tonto said what do you mean Oui white man , to me we is a pronoun meaning the two of us and then the white man explained there is a magazine named oui which is French for yes and that explained the discrepancy and the polysemy.

[Mike]

On Jun 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<84eb35e2-c541-4feb...@googlegroups.com>):

You do need to watch your language around here.

[Don Stockbauer]

One time I really cursed this guy out bad and he really deserved it and he told me look buddy you better watch your language and I told him how can I watch my language, it's flying away from me at a speed of 1100 ft./sec.?

[Mike]

On Jun 11, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<a9dfaee4-7911-4e5b...@googlegroups.com>):

So bad breath does have one use -- keeps the flys away.

[Don Stockbauer]

There's an old saying , you can catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar ; the only trouble is what have you got then? A bunch of goddamn flies.

[Mike]

On Jun 12, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<7519c6c0-fd56-4490...@googlegroups.com>):

Go fishing....

[Don Stockbauer]

If I wanted to be mean I'd tell you to "go fish", But I'm not like that.

[Mike]

On Jun 12, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<186dc6a5-753b-4e14...@googlegroups.com>):

So you try and be a ray of sunshine??

[Don Stockbauer]

yes I try to be a ray of sunshine but we all know that mass and energy are not totally interchangeable there was this specialist in physics who came up with some equation E equals MC squared or something like that which tells you how to convert between mass and energy but in order for me to be a ray of sunshine I will have to do like in Gulliver's travels and extract sunbeams from cucumbers.

[Mike]

On Jun 13, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<bcdf77bf-c579-4457...@googlegroups.com>):

And here I thought you would flounder but instead you did have a good come
back,
I will tuna again later to see how well you continue to do

[Don Stockbauer]

Pinkard and Bowden :

"I lobster and never flounder ."

More puns per square inch than Philipp Jose Farmer's "The riders of the purple wage "

I was a cook,
She was a waitress
Down at the Salty Sam Seafood Café
And somewhere 'tween the clam juice and the seaweed salad
Some little shrimp just lured her away

Oh, I lobster and never flounder
He wrapped his line around her
And they drove off in his carp
Oh, I lobster and never flounder

[Mike]

On Jun 14, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<4d8a0360-9d51-4427...@googlegroups.com>):

But continue to be crabby

[Don Stockbauer]

I'm no more crabby than that corpse at the beginning of Jaws.

[Mike]

On Jun 14, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<767f73b2-067e-481a...@googlegroups.com>):

WHat does RIchard Kiel have to do with this??

[Don Stockbauer]

he always kept himself very even.

[Mike]

On Jun 15, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<78d10cf1-1dd5-4a60...@googlegroups.com>):

The odds were in his favor.

[Don Stockbauer]

So circus freaks liked him?

[Mike]

On Jun 16, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<26e6a602-8b9e-40d2...@googlegroups.com>):

That does not dwarf his other problems

[Don Stockbauer]

You know we had two perfectly good words like midget and dwarf and now we can't use those anymore we have to say "little people " but my objection to the term "little people" is the fact that you could be talking about children : so we went from perfectly useful disparaging terms to a politically correct term which does not for certain talk about a small adult but may very well mean a child .

I'm discouraged.

[Mike]

On Jun 16, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<d98bbbe6-fe13-4676...@googlegroups.com>):

When all the Politically Correct cloud went after the midway freak shows
because they
were supposed to be so demeaning --- the so called “Freaks” were yelling
back
“Don’t get in the way of my pay check”

[Don Stockbauer]

The carnival came to Victoria around 1966 .
I went with my friend John Riggs and from the midway you heard constantly over and over and over it's alive it's alive it's alive it's alive it's alive it's alive it's alive it's alive it's alive so when you went into this Freakshow exhibit what they had was jars containing deformed fetuses in formaldehyde. that was their idea of it's alive it's alive it's alive.

Who said I haven't led an interesting life?

[Mike]

On Jun 17, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<abe58cac-03ae-41d5...@googlegroups.com>):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cpX3qrzRfk

[Don Stockbauer]

I bet Bug's nickname was Madge. and the monster was actually soaking in dishwashing detergent

Dates me , doesn't it . actually that's not true . nobody will date me ; I'm just a Sad Sack.

[Mike]

On Jun 18, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<264752f4-25ca-4332...@googlegroups.com>):

Voice by Mel Blanc

[Don Stockbauer]

Did you know that Mel Blanc was sterile? He was shooting Blancs. But you can't say that nowadays. You can't even remotely refer to somebody killing their relatives.

[Mike]

On Jun 19, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<6ec65e2a-de9f-422d...@googlegroups.com>):

His son Noel would disagree.

[Don Stockbauer]

Once during Christmas time Noel was on a street corner singing Leon Leon Leon when a passerby came and turned the sheet music the other way and then he started singing Noel Noel Noel.

[Mike]

On Jun 20, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<21861e8f-f75f-44e5...@googlegroups.com>):

Saying Noel !!! Neill before god and pray for forgiveness

[Don Stockbauer]

Neil Armstrong was descending the ladder toward the moon and he had to go pee-pee real bad so he inadvertently told Mission Control the situation since he was always honest with them , his voice was on an open loop , 2 billion people were listening in and heard what he said so he had to Neil before God and ask for forgiveness.

[Mike]

On Jun 21, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<6ad059c1-bf01-486d...@googlegroups.com>):

As I recall. it was late at night so he had to do it in the wee hours of the
morning

[Don Stockbauer]

what happened was NASA suppressed the following conversation about it all and it went :

Mission control , I have to pee pee real bad

and then mission control said well what do you propose to do about it ?

and then neil said "well I think the simplest thing is I just come back to clear Lake City and the Outpost Tavern down there in Seabrook has a good restroom
I could just go ahead and use that

and then mission control said neal I don't think you're qualified to be an astronaut

[Mike]

On Jun 22, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<8aaaf9c6-7c6a-4091...@googlegroups.com>):

Now the y find out.

[Don Stockbauer]

He had a lot of practice with that computer game where you land the spacecraft as close to a McDonald's as you can so that's why he was able to do such a good job landing on the moon.

[Mike]

On Jun 22, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<4eb33bb7-78c0-45c6...@googlegroups.com>):

Not really, he missed the McDonalds so could not order his Big Mac to go.

[Don Stockbauer]

He missed the MacDonald's by 220,000 miles.

[Mike]

On Jun 24, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<faf6e194-4e1d-4973...@googlegroups.com>):

> On Thursday, June 23, 2022 at 7:33:43 AM UTC-5, Mike wrote:
> > On Jun 22, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
> > (in article<4eb33bb7-78c0-45c6...@googlegroups.com>):
> > >

> > > He had a lot of practice with that computer game where you land the
> > > spacecraft as close to a McDonald's as you can so that's why he was able to
> > > do such a good job landing on the moon.
> > Not really, he missed the McDonalds so could not order his Big Mac to go.
> > Michael LeVine
> > mle...@redshift.com
> >
> > Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
> > finding it everywhere,
> > diagnosing it incorrectly,
> > and applying the wrong remedies.
> > Groucho Marx
>
> He missed the MacDonald's by 220,000 miles.

His course was plotted by his Arches Enemy

[Don Stockbauer]

well you're right I just loved Arches national monument when I visited there it has a lot of arches but I found the most a-mazing part was they have an area called the Maze and it is truly amazing . you don't dare go into it if you don't know it . you have to learn it a little bit at a time, go a little ways into it and come back out , a little further and then come back out , just like any maze, just like Life.

[Mike]

On Jun 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<974b5f0e-f4ec-4b78...@googlegroups.com>):

You must love it at Halloween exploring a Maize maze.

[Don Stockbauer]

I just love a maize maze, last time I went in one though my little signaling device for them to come get me failed and I was in it for 14 days , but at least I had corn to eat.

[Mike]

On Jun 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<1921b263-222d-4067...@googlegroups.com>):

It did work, they got lost trying to find you

[Don Stockbauer]

A common occurrence.

[Mike]

On Jun 25, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<88b0ceb7-bd5f-4a14...@googlegroups.com>):

But despite their efforts -- you still got out

[Don Stockbauer]

Yeah what I did I said screw these passage ways and just started cutting my way right through the walls of corn .
Like this cartoon I saw they had put kangaroos in a maze, they merely jumped over the walls.

[Mike]

On Jun 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote
(in article<527360ef-ccbd-4cbe...@googlegroups.com>):

With all that corn, why didn’t they eat their way out instead.

[Don Stockbauer]

Perhaps they weren't hungry? And they needed jumping exercise?

[Mike]

On Jun 26, 2022, Don Stockbauer wrote

(in article<889e67b7-d4a7-4e11...@googlegroups.com>):

But their jumping ability is leaps and bounds above everything else